Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they’d be a little more selective!
I’ve found that many of these women date no-count losers who don’t treat them well. I’ve seen their partners degrade these poor women and try to control them. Many of these partners are either broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.
Several of these bad partners and spouses are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them. And this becomes a cycle. Even sadder is the fact that many of these smart and beautiful women either move in with or marry these losers, then end up having to keep these scrubs up!
These women will pay their partner’s bills and try to make life easier for them, only to be disrespected by them later.
Let me give you my opinion here. And this opinion may tick a lot of people off, but I’ll say it anyway.
Unless they are sick and can’t work, any significant other who lives off a woman or works and spends the money on themselves rather than contributing to the home is a sorry sack! That’s how I view them. Still, many smart, talented, and beautiful women end up with just the type.
But why?
It’s because many of these women have low self-esteem. They’re blind to their beauty, intelligence, and strength. They’re afraid of being alone and don’t think they can do any better than these worthless partners. So, these women take what they think they can get and settle for so much less than what they deserve.
Also, they think that they can change the person or that the person has “potential.” So, again, in order to keep from being alone, they delude themselves into thinking that their partner is just going through a rough patch and that, eventually, they’ll do better. This is wrong and ends up dragging the poor woman down too.
It happens all the time. Smart and beautiful women resort to dating beneath their own standards to ensure they have a partner. Understand that they have the attitude that “anything is better than being alone.” So, they’re willing to put up with shabby treatment, spend all their hard-earned money to keep these creeps out of jail and do without just to keep a romantic partner.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be alone than to put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep me stressed out and broke. I can do bad all by myself! I don’t need help from some scumbag.
I realize that life can be tough and we all get down on our luck sometimes. It happens. So, if you have a partner who’s striving and has lost their job, by no means am I suggesting that you leave because things happen that are beyond our control. And chances are that a person who really wants to do better will eventually. But if your partner doesn’t bother to try, you may want to consider other options.
If you’re in either of these types of relationships, know that you owe it to yourself to leave and to be more selective. Know that you’re worth it and if the other person can’t get their act together, you have every right to show them the door.
The last thing you should do is to waste any more time with a partner who doesn’t value you or the good you bring to their life. So, don’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who only takes you for granted. Find someone who values and cherishes you. Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.
Later, I will post about men who date toxic partners.
Absolutely! There are many things worse than being alone!!
Amen on that one, Valerie! 🎯💯👍
amen, can not tell you how many times I have been told I was too nice and then I see them with a lowlife who is mean to them and uses them
That’s sad, Robert. But unfortunately, it happens all the time. They seem to e interested in the bad boy type. SMH
Hello
Some low life men will seek out successful women because they are inwardly intimidated by such women and therefore, “want to put them in their place.” Likewise, there are women who seek out successful men as a meal ticket.
Absolutely right, Michael! On both points! 🎯💯
You described my MIL here in some parts. She is a very sweet lady but has an issue making herself a victim. She likes people to feel bad for her and she doesn’t want to be lonely, which I can symphonize with. So she gets involved with bad seeds repeatedly. The part that is frustrating for everyone else, is that we are attached to her… her ripple effect. It’s a bad thing on the guys part but it’s bad on hers also. Just being able to breathe is not good enough. Having standards isn’t a bad thing but she thinks so.
My heart goes out to her and to you. Many times, the women who believe and repeat these patterns had fathers that treated them like garbage when they were growing up. They may have watched their mothers be abused by their fathers, or their fathers weren’t around at all. I believe it comes from the way men treated them when they were little girls. I’m proud of you for being a great friend to her. ❤💐🌹
Damn! I LOVE YOU GURL!
yU
REALLY BRINGING IT!
hAVE i TOld yOu rEceNnTlY hOw mUCH i aDmIRe THE WORK YOU ARE DOING?
You amaze me!
How do you find the time?????
To
Create such great, thoughtful content?
Crap!
It takes me 13 minutes just to get out of bed!
I love what you do!
Marry me?
Just jokin’!
Marriage
Would
Ruin
Our
relationship!
Fairly certain I would
Not
Live up
to
Any expectations you may have
Had
of
Me!
I am famous for
not livin’
up
to
women’s
expectatations!
But
I was
ALWAYS
HONEST
Can
Never
take
That
Trait
Away from me!
I love you
And
What
you
Do!
Hahaha. I’m already happily married, and with children, Lance. But thank you for the flattery. 😁
Dudette!
I was NOT coming on to you!
I value our friendship too much to mess it up
I just love what you are doing!
That is really all it’s all about Alfie!
Ain’t it?
BTW,
Have you looked at my what’s it all a bout alphie series?
I supposse I could look myself, but I’d rather jusst assk YOU, because I am lazy and worthless and most likely, a moron!
P.S,
I may be drinking too much of late!
Thank you so much, Lance. This means a lot. 🙂
Not yet. I’ve been super busy. But I’ll definitely give it a look-see. 🙂
I agree. Actually I think both people should be working in this day and age men and women both. If it is a true partnership both should contribute financially and around the house. Let me also say this. One thing I notice is this friend zoning stuff. No not everyone is meant to be but far too many times the nice guys or girls get friend zoned because they are actually (gasp) nice. And people have this vision of dating some super hunk or supermodel. Most people are neither good nor bad, they are average looking. All of us need to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize we aren’t flawless either.
BINGO! You said it all there, Sue! 🎯💯👍😍
You nailed so well that it is a shame that we can’t make those that need it read what you said. I have long thought we need to bring up our girls to think for themselves. To be totally independent and not need anyone to make them whole. Make them realize they ARE a whole person, and to look for a helpmate, not someone that needs them.
You’re absolutely right. I believe that most women who pick these lowlifes were once little girls whose fathers treated them like garbage or they ran off. Lots of times when a father treats their little girl like she’s trash, he sets her up to pick partners who are also abusive.
Guurrrrllll, I have seen this far too often, where desperate people do desperate things. I have seen women repeatedly do this, like they are hungry for anything that will show them a smidgen of attention. They willingly lower their standards and it makes me want to scream because they are setting themselves up for a ton of heartbreak. UGH!!! 😫😥😣 Great message Cherie!!! 👏🏽👍🏽🙏🏽
I have too, honey, and I’m so sad for them. Also, most of the girls who bullied me in school are the same way. It’s sad.
My first marriage to my HS sweetheart ended after 24 years and 3 kids. He was a narcissist- blamed me for all his troubles. I finally kicked him out. No regrets. He wasn’t the same person I used to know. Second time is the charm! I’ve been remarried to a wonderful man who values me. We’re going on 20 years this coming Feb!
Awww, I’m so proud of you for getting rid of that nasty narcissist and finding a good man to love you like you deserve. 💖💐🌹Here’s wishing you many, many more anniversaries together! 😍😍😍🥂🍾
Hugs to you, glad you got away from the narc. I was also married to one.
This is a great post. It’s likely why I’ve been single for a while, aside from a brief relationship last year. I won’t date just anyone and I don’t accept mistreatment.
That’s most likely it, Sara. And I’m so proud that you’re sticking to your standards. Sadly, the lowlifes are a dime a dozen. But good ones are few. And I believe you attract good ones by treating yourself good. ❤💐🌹
That’s very true. I feel for women who feel like they need to have someone to be happy. Better to be alone than with a soul sucking low life. 🙁 You’ve got such a good point there: You attract better people when you take care of yourself well.
I so appreciate you, Sara! Thank you for being such a blessing. And I promise you that some lucky guy is going to see you for the blessing you are. 🤗
Aw thank you. That’s kind. 🙂 <3 I always love your blog posts and kind words.
My pleasure 🙏 💖
Dear Cherie.. you said a lot here! Women accepting toxicity subconsciously, settling for less and belittling standards. The day we are conscious of who we are, that’s the day we are liberated!
I love this piece ❣️
Thank you so much, Omali! 💖 This means a lot! And you’re so right! Knowing who you are means knowing what you deserve. 😊
Nice one.
Still single, can’t seem to find the right fit
Most men think I’m too strong-headed and on.
In spite of my desire to be loved and love,I would not lower my standard to find love.
Know that you’re a strong and brave woman and you deserve a partner who truly loves you, who works hard, and who respects you. And you’ll find that person sooner or later..
I’m married now, but I was there once upon a time. I was single for 8 years after I divorced my first husband. I had standards and didn’t lower them for anyone. Many of my friends were dating guys who stayed in and out of jail, who cheated on them all the time, who abused them, and who wouldn’t work. But I just couldn’t see myself with those types. Eventually, great men started finding me and I’m now married to an awesome husband who loves and takes care of me. We’ve had our rough patches, don’t get me wrong, but we’re still here. And we’re happy.
And you’ll find that person for you. 💖
I get you.thanks
You’re very welcome
those are strong thoughts. Admirable.
Thanks Sophia
A certain type of lowlife known as a narcissist, will often attract empathetic, smart, strong people through deceitful charm. They will idealise, devalue and then discard their victim for another. It is not a matter of the victim “choosing lowlives” or “having a bad picker”, rather they were deceived.
You’re absolutely right, Jen! And you just gave me an idea for a future post! Thank you, thank you!!!! 😁😁😁
Thank you — glad to help!
My pleasure 🙏 ☺
I know a lot of us women are fixers. We believe we can take a damaged man and turn him into the man we want him to be and he will thank us for it. Often times, this is not the case though and they just end up taking advantage of us.
Exactly right! I totally agree! 🎯💯👍
Interesting 🤓
Thank you so much ❤
Time has come when ladies should believe on themselves and know that there is better life out side dating. Those kind of people are not ready to change rather they will continue with their character. It is left for the woman to think wise and take a move
You’re absolutely right. 💯 I love your thoughts on this. 💖
hmm…such insights are invaluable to many going through issues like the ones you talk about…i’m glad to see things being discussed out in the open without being sugar coated….
Thank you so much, Sophia, for your thoughts. 💖💐🌹 And you’re right. 💯 I realize this post may not open many eyes. But if it opens just one pair…