Tag: confidence

confidence

Would You Rather Have Confidence or Perfection?

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Self-confidence is THE key ingredient that everyone must have to succeed in life. When you have it,

1. you have better and more fulfilling relationships

2. you are more successful in school and in your career.

3. You have more dates, friends, are more likely to have a great marriage and raise confident and successful children.

But a Perfectionist, on the other hand, is not a confident person and has to work so much harder just to go through life. A perfectionist is insecure with herself and others. She focuses more on herself than others and is always worried about what others may think and say about her. This is why she tries so hard to be, well, perfect.

A perfectionist is both critical of herself and others and tends to have strained relationships because of her obsessive need to be right- all the time- about EVERYTHING!

She thinks that she must be perfect for others to like her and covertly seeks validation from others rather than looking within herself for it. And the outcome is usually adverse.

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A confident person realizes that no one is perfect and that they will make mistakes. When that person does make a mistake, she doesn’t make a big deal about it and beat herself up.

Sure, she may be disappointed for a short while but she always gets over it very quickly and “bounces back”.

She may even have a few people who do not like her. But being the confident person she is, she doesn’t concern herself with how she’s perceived because she knows that she is awesome and that there are plenty of others who DO love her.

A confident person is a “proud to be me” kind of individual and always takes care of herself and the people she loves. She always surrounds herself with positive and uplifting people who love her and steers clear of the negative people who want to bring her down.

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A confident person sees beauty where a perfectionist only sees flaws. She sees opportunity where a perfectionist sees strife and hard luck.

When I was young, I was a perfectionist. Why? Because I was a beaten down and very negative person who couldn’t see the forest for the trees and I felt I had to be A-1 best before people would like me. I had yet to realize that all I ever needed to be was my natural, authentic self.

When I began to love myself, flaws, quirks, and all, things began to change, and for the better. Now I am at peace and comfortable in my own skin.

Everywhere I look there is opportunity. Everywhere I look, there is beauty because I look for it. I love myself and the people around me.

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There’s no benefit to being a perfectionist, you only end up working too hard to meet standards that are more than likely impossible to meet, spinning your wheels and getting nowhere.

Also, you end up failing miserably and in the process, looking like a try-hard.

Confidence, on the other hand, is FREEING and it allows you to be you without fear.

It also brings patience, faith, and positive self-awareness. Instead of spinning your wheels, you move slowly, steadily, and PATIENTLY toward your goals, step by step, until you eventually reach them, therefore reaching success!

Confidence is Everything!

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Confidence is the most important characteristic you can ever have, not only during school to ward off bullies, but all through life. It does not matter how smart you are or how high your grades are.

You can have five PhDs and be the smartest person on the face of the earth. But if you don’t have confidence, you will not be able to effectively communicate nor interact with people. Your social/people skills will be lacking and you won’t get anywhere in life.

Whether you choose to believe this, the reality is that other people really do have control over whether we succeed or fail in life. Other people are the gatekeepers to our success and if you think otherwise, you are only fooling yourself.

I’ll give you a few examples: You can’t get that high position you want without being selected for the job by another person- the interviewer, who could be the owner of the company, an HR manager, or supervisor.

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Even during school, although the vast majority of teachers and professors are honest and grade students fairly regardless of how they may feel about the individual, it’s still not unheard of for a student to receive a failing grade solely because the instructor didn’t like them. It does happen, though not often.

Confidence= great people skills= charm= great friends and connections= success!!! Great people skills will always trump smarts, good grades, high marks, and college degrees! Always!

Confidence, or lack thereof, is something that people notice right away when they meet you for the first time. When you walk into a job interview and meet your interviewer, he is going to notice right away whether you are confident in yourself and if you’re not, chances are very unlikely that you will get hired for that esteemed position that you have been coveting. The reason for this is that if you’re not confident in yourself, how then can you expect others to be confident in you?

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Make no mistake about it. Confidence is the number one ingredient in all areas of your life. It’s the first trait that potential employers look for and not only potential employers but also prospective associates, prospective customers, friends, and dates. Whether or not you are confident is something that everyone looks at unless they are so low on confidence themselves that they can’t afford to be the least bit selective.

This is why you must never let a bully take away your confidence. If another person has already taken it away, you must fight like crazy to get it back. You do this by surrounding yourself with people who love you and lift you up, doing the things you enjoy and are good at, showing off your talents, taking care of yourself, and taking pride in yourself and in your appearance. Only then will you begin to see your own worth.

If a person steals your confidence, they also steal your potential for success and happy life. In short, they steal your future. Bullies are confidence thieves! Never surrender your confidence to anyone! This brings me back to Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said it best when he made this quote:

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

How right he was!

Hope, Your Best Ally Against Bullying

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Bullying is a war unlike no other. It’s the fight of your life- a battle in which there’s no clear cut enemy. Bullying is a situation in which hope is your only ally. Don’t lose it! Because, in losing it, you also lose morale and the strength to keep going.

Hope enables you to look to the future and know that whatever you endure in the present will eventually pass. It encourages resilience and gives you the strength to go on. Hope gives you confidence, and with confidence comes the determination to reach the finish line and win the race.

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Hope opens doors. It’s that still, small voice that whispers, “Keep going. You’ve got this!”

Holding onto hope fuels success in helping you to attain your goals and desires. It’s the will to persevere during the toughest of times and go after your dreams in life.

Never lose hope. Because if you lose it, there’s nothing left.

Even The Most Confident Have Their Moments

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A few years ago, a thought occurred to me that even the most confident people have moments and days when they don’t feel so confident. I most certainly have them. I know where my talents are, I know all of my good qualities and bad, and I know who I am and what I want. However, I also know my limitations- it pays to know those too because confidence doesn’t mean arrogance.

If I don’t like something, I take steps to change it, and if it cannot be changed, I find ways to embrace it.

For the past decade, I have felt peace I never before knew. Yet, there are still days when I don’t feel as confident as I should.

There are times when I feel a tad insecure and nervous. There are times when I feel my old shyness trying to creep back in. After all it’s only human.

Only I refuse to give in to it. I give myself psychological pep talks to make the insecurity go away, then face the fear head-on.

Everyone has those days. So, when this happens to you, don’t toil over it. Accept it as a part of being human, and when insecurity does rear its ugly head, either use your mind to lessen the feelings or make them go away.

Even if you are a happy and confident person, there will be days when things go wrong, and there’ll be days when you just aren’t feeling it.

So, I hope you remember that just because you are having a day when you don’t feel so good, it does not mean that you are not a strong, resilient, and confident person. It just means that you are human, and just like everyone else, you will have downtimes and bad times. Just keep the faith because those times never last.