Tag: bullies

bullies

Bullying and Rising Rates of Antisemitism

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The Jewish people and other minorities have been bullied worldwide, down through history, as have women. They’ve been intimidated by individuals, groups, corporations, schools, communities, and governments!

Recently, there has been an uptick of antisemitism from individuals, interest groups, certain celebrities, even government officials, such as Ilhan Omar and several others! They have also been attacked right here in America by Radical and Extremist Groups.

Understand that antisemitism, racism, and sexism are all forms of bullying because there is a clear-cut power imbalance. The evil committed against the Jewish people has been repetitious for so long!

People may disagree with me and may even get angry. But it is what it is, and I’m not going to hide it nor sugarcoat it.

Most bullies are bigots and racists because bullies are known to have hatred for anyone different from them in any way, although most of them would never admit it for fear of losing face. However, bullies must always have a target to degrade.

So, they prefer to bully someone safer to bully and not as legally protected, such as a person on the autism spectrum, who’s mentally ill, or an older person.

Understand that bullies despise differences from them in any way, and you can bet that most bullies are only closet racists and sexists. Still, because they choose to go the “lesser of two evils” route and be more politically correct to play it safe, they only bully those to whom they can do it and get away with it.

Understand that racism is wrong, no matter who it’s aimed at! Antisemitism is wrong! Hate is wrong!

Just because someone is different in race or skin color, in the religion they practice, or lives a different lifestyle, it gives no one the right to mistreat them!

Eliminate the hate!

Beware! Bullies Can Get Intel from Information That’s Meant to Help Targets!

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intel spy information eavesdrop

There are many positives to bullying and suicide awareness, one of which is the ever so slow change in attitudes en masse about bullying, bullies, and victims over the last twenty years. More and more people are coming to the realization that bullying is not “just a normal rite of passage” or “just a part of growing up” like previously thought a few decades ago.

People are finally seeing it for the huge health hazard and the threat to human life that it truly is and perhaps, always has been. Unlike thirty years ago when I was in school, there is a vast wealth of knowledge, resources, and programs readily available to anyone who finds themselves on the receiving end of such harassment.

We now have a treasure trove of articles, books, and videos on what victims can do to bully-proof themselves. Today, we know that victims of bullying are not weak, too sensitive or to blame for the treatment they receive like previously thought decades ago.

Intel spy information eavesdrop listen in

We have made great progress for victims of bullying and I cannot thank enough all those who contributed to this progress. However, I want to stress something that I’m positive very few have considered:

Bullies also have access to this widely available information!

Although the data available is meant to help and empower victims, bullies can use this data as counterintelligence and turn it against their targets. And they can do it by using the information to tailor any future attacks.

For instance, since bullying has been shown to cause suicide, there has been a drastic uptick in cases where bullies have told their victims to “kill themselves”. A few have even talked them into it.

Remember that the most talented and seasoned bullies are cowards at heart and always commit their evil undercover and with subtlety. Bullies are smart, stealth, meticulous, and worst of all- patient! They will not risk being caught.

eavesdrop nosy

Anytime a victim attempts to assert their right not to be mistreated and to better their lives, bullies only escalate the harassment to punish the target and keep him/her silent and, in essence, enslaved.

I want you to understand that any power the victim regains for him/herself is power the bullies must lose! And when bullies see a threat to the power they have over a target, they will only tighten their grip and escalate the torment.

Bullying is a slow death by psychological, emotional, and physical torture. It is systematic, subtle and sadly, escalation of it is sometimes so gradual that it often goes unnoticed by bystanders and authority until the victim dies by their own hand.

When a target of bullying commits suicide, the bullies have committed murder without laying a finger on the target. And because there’s no physical contact or weapon discharged by the bully or bullies at the time of the target’s death, the bully gets away with this murder.

intel spy information eavesdrop watching

Bullies murder their victims by gently and over time, persuading and influencing them to do it for them. Now, this is how they get away with murder! What better way is there to kill someone without ever touching them, without firing a single shot, and without fear of ever seeing the inside of a prison?

Bullies know this instinctively! I say this with full conviction and being fully aware that I might be giving a few evil and unsavory souls a few ideas! Of this, I am truly afraid!

The best I can do is to hope and pray to the goodness that no one with evil intentions comes across this blog post!

In closing, if you are a target of chronic and relentless bullying, I urge you to never give up on yourself. Never let a bully convince you that the world would be better off without you! It wouldn’t!

Never let a bully convince you that you would be better off dead because chances are that they only target you because you are doing something right! They bully you because you stand out! You somehow outshine the bullies and they only mistreat you out of jealousy!

Know that you’re worth living for!

Believe it!

Reasons Bullies Hate Those Who Prefer to Be Themselves

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Bullies are fake. They have to be to instill fear in those around them. And they resent anyone content with themselves and comfortable in their own skin.

Here’s Why:

1. Most bullies are highly insecure– more insecure than others; people who are themselves are usually more charming, seductive, and graceful. An authentic person will captivate others without trying. Because of his openness and fluidity, he draws people to him like a magnet. And bullies are jealous of anyone who enjoys good relations with others.

Understand that not only are bullies insecure, but they’re also vain. Authentic people outshine them without even trying and just their presence alone makes the bullies appear less alluring and charismatic to others.

Avoid these vanity bullies like the plague because they will find a way to destroy you if you stay around them. These people will only force you to suppress your natural charm and goodness, so you won’t look like you’re better than them.

be yourself

2. People who are themselves don’t have to make any effort because they are their natural selves. On the other hand, being fake requires a lot of work. There are also a lot of worries that go with it- worries that you might slip up and get your lies twisted, that you may accidentally expose yourself through your actions, and that your true personality will somehow seep through.

Bullies resent the fact that authentic people don’t have to work and worry as they do.

But no matter what these bullies may throw at you, never be afraid to be yourself. Never hide anything about you. Because if you do, you’ll only lose a bit of yourself each time you put on an act until you lose yourself entirely.

To be fake, you have to work too hard. I’m too lazy for that. And so is anyone who prefers to be themselves.

Distraction- A Powerful Weapon for Bullies

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toxic

“The essence of deception is distraction.” – Robert Greene

The bully uses distraction, often called deflection, when they use the target’s imperfections to distract other people’s attention away from their own shortcomings. It is the reason that so many people in authority, bystanders, and witnesses unjustly label targets as bullies and troublemakers.

Because bullies are highly skilled at deflecting their misdeeds onto others, people will falsely accuse innocent victims of being the instigators of arguments or fights, and perpetrators of bullying behaviors.

bullying bullied labeled

Here’s how the bully does it:

He extends acts of kindness and shows honesty in front of everyone – everyone except his victim. He does this to charm and disarm authority and potential bystanders and witnesses. The bully fools them all into believing that he’s such a fine young man and would never mistreat another person. And he ultimately wins everyone else over to his side.

What this elaborate display of (false) kindness and authenticity does is soften everyone outside the bully/victim relationship and turn them into allies. People hungrily eat up any affection the bully extends to them. She (the bully) then sweetens the deal by inviting them out to do lunch or to hang out.

narcissist bully

But understand that she only pours on the pleasantries and charm to everyone else to trick them into feeling obligated in the event she must ask them to do some dirty work for her against her target.

If you’re a target of this type of bullying, I want you to know that your bullies don’t do this because they just happen to like everyone else but you, they do it for the sole purpose of gaining favor and loyalty from them! Realize that the bullies only see everyone else as tools and worker bees.

Have you noticed how most bullies suck up to teachers and managers?

The bully will then slyly bait her target by pushing their hot buttons and triggering them into an emotional reaction. And she will make sure that everyone is around to see the target’s breakdown or outburst.

bullying distraction pot calling the kettle black

He will also accuse the target of the same behaviors that he’s guilty of or of having the same flaws he has.

But understand that this is all part of the distraction. The bully aims to give others the illusion that you are the bully and he is the target.

Remember that most bullies can be very charming and alluring and they’re good at this game. You must know the tactics in detail, so you can call them out to protect yourself from being abused and blamed, then ultimately labeled.

How to Tell Whether They’re Laughing With You or At You

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bully laughing at you

Many targets are abused for so long that they simply lose trust in people and withdraw from everyone. And in social situations, many targets mistakenly assume that those they’re with are laughing at them when they’re really laughing with them. And this can cause a rift between the target and a person who’s a mean-meaning friend.

So, how can you tell the difference?

Here’s how:

1. Laughing with you: Eye contact. The person is looking at you and interacting with you while laughing.

Laughing at you: Lack of eye contact. The person is looking around at everyone else but you while laughing.

2. Laughing with you: The person doesn’t hold the laughter in. Instead, the laughter happens automatically and spontaneously.

Laughing at you: The laugher usually pauses first. And they don’t laugh out loud but only snicker.

laughing with you

3. Laughing with you: How does the person treat you once the laughter is over? They’re generally good to you and they enjoy being around you.

Laughing at you: The person treats you with contempt and they won’t hang around. They may even make a snide remark to you on their way out to go laugh at you behind your back.

And it depends on context.

4. Laughing with you: The laughter is deep and the person’s natural laugh.

Laughing at you: There’s “mocking laughter”, where the person imitates your laugh. The person isn’t laughing because you’ve done anything wrong or stupid, or because there’s anything wrong with you. They’re laughing at you to bring you down and boost their own social status or to feel better about themselves.

bullies laughing gossip rumors lies talk

5. Laughing with you: The person generally has good feelings toward you and is having fun or being playful.

Laughing at you: The person has a hostile and hurtful attitude toward you. They’re enjoying your pain, humiliation or weakness.

The sooner you recognize the differences, the sooner you’ll avoid the wrong people and the better relationships you’ll have with the people who truly love and care about you. And ultimately, the better you’ll feel!

Bullies and Redundancy

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Indifferent.

Redundancy has been the downfall of many a bully. Have you ever noticed how bullies always- always…repeat the same narratives and personal attacks?

And, like a broken record, their needle gets stuck on the same old attack. Repeat, repeat, repeat. On and one they drag the same tired, worn-out narrative.

Although it’s true that repeating the same lie a thousand times does work, as Goebbels proved during the 1930’s, there are also times it can backfire because people get bored listening to it.

When bullies get redundant, it reeks of desperation because any time someone feels they must repeat themselves, it means that they have a bad feeling that the story isn’t sticking as well as they hoped it would. Otherwise, they wouldn’t need to repeat themselves.

However, if you’re a target of such foolishness, rest assured that this bodes well for you although it may not feel good. Realize that it can work in your favor and take advantage of it. And how you take advantage of it is to just sit back and let them talk. Forgive me a chuckle or two.

Here are a few reasons being redundant can backfire on bullies:

1.As mentioned above, the bully will end up boring the hell out of those around him. Most people would rather cut off their right arms than be bored. And once something becomes a snooze fest, it’s over!

2. In being redundant, bullies only reveal their own issues. Again, to anyone with an ounce of common sense, redundancy makes the bullies look bad because, if one must continue to beat a dead horse, they not only look desperate but worse, they look defeated! And people around them will pray for the day they finally either go away, or “shut up about it already!” The bully will eventually get blown off with an eyeroll and a “whatever.”

So, if you’re a target of this kind of foolishness, remember to just sit back, let your bullies dig their own holes, and snicker! Some things don’t need a reaction.

It’s only a matter of time before they shoot themselves in the foot, so, why not let them continue cutting off their noses to spite their faces?

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Bullies Target Quiet People and Why They Do It

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Many times, I’ve noticed that it’s the quiet person who often gets targeted by bullies. So, why do bullies go after those who have little to say? The silent types usually mind their own business. They have no need for attention, and they don’t bother anyone.

Quiet people don’t feel the need to be a part of a group to feel important. They work hard and stay out of the way. So, again. Why do bullies target them?
There are several reasons:

1. Bullies presume them to be weak and timid. Most people are under the misguided belief that anyone quiet is afraid of conflict. They think that the silent types are socially awkward misfits who others have shot down in the past and are now using avoidance to play it safe.

But in reality, they have better things to do and have no time for gossip and other meaningless chit-chats.

2. Bullies mistakenly believe they’re least likely to stand up for themselves. Unfortunately, bullies think that because someone isn’t loud and obnoxious like they are, they won’t defend themselves when provoked. This is a fallacy. I’ve seen many bullies push silents too far and end up with a face-full of humble pie.

3. They’re are mistaken for being standoffish. Bullies will presume that silents are stuck up and think they’re too good to speak. And bullies can’t stand it if there’s a possibility that someone is ignoring them. So they target the person to get a reaction out of them. Or, they punish them for “being so stuck up.”

bullying cat mouse

4. The silent are thought of as sneaky and having something to hide. So bullies will often target them to shake them up and make them slip up and accidentally reveal “whatever it is they’re hiding” out of nervousness.

Bullies often believe the stereotypes they’ve heard about people of few words:

“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!”

“The quiet ones are the most dangerous!”

But wait! It goes much deeper.

5. Quiet people intimidate bullies. Only the bullies will never in this lifetime admit it. So, why would someone so silent be so intimidating to bullies?

a. They’re unpredictable. Remember that bullies rely on a target’s predictability to bully effectively. And if you can’t predict what a person’s next move is likely to be, that, in and of itself, can be very frightening. And if the person is the kind who’s stoic, all the more difficult it will be to “get their number.” The less you say, the harder others must work to figure you out.

Also, many bullies see the silence as a challenge and will rise to it by provoking the person to get a reaction.

b. Having little to say keeps people off balance. If bullies can’t figure out where you stand on anything, where your hot buttons are, or your desires, likes, and dislikes, they have less fodder and ammo to use against you.

And if they aren’t sure what gets you excited, ticks you off, or makes you nervous, they can’t control you so easily.

Also, because you don’t show your cards, bullies resent you for making them work so hard to pin them.

c. Quiet people expose bullies by staying- well, quiet! They’re very in tune with what goes on around them and listen very deeply while those around them rattle off at the mouth, exposing everything about themselves.

d. In their silence, quiet people terrify bullies. They keep them under their control. Subconsciously, bullies know this, and it drives them nuts!

e. People desire to know what others are thinking. Again. Quiet people make bullies uncomfortable and their silence makes it difficult to guess their intentions.

f. Quiet people put bullies on the defensive. Their answers are short and silences are long, which automatically puts bullies on the defense because the bullies assume the person is getting short with them.

If you’re a silent person and a target of bullies, don’t let them shake you. Continue to play your cards close to the vest. Your lack of predictability is what protects you. You must understand that silence has a power all it’s own. Use it.

Metaphors Targets Use to Describe Their Bullies

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I can tell you the metaphors I often used to describe my bullies at school. I often called them:

“Teenage Hitlers”

“Devils”

“Demon possessed”

I remember how they’d get in my face, nose to nose, and scream obscenities and curses while bushwhacking me with their funky breath and spraying me with misty micro-balls of their saliva. How their eyes would bulge so far out of their heads, you’d think they were going to pop out.

How they’d jump out of their seats at me, slinging textbooks and papers everywhere and sometimes flinging their chairs backwards!

I remember one bully picking up a metal waste can and hurling it at me with all their strength. The waste can flew past me, barely missing my head by less than an inch. How their faces would contort and how they’d fly into screaming tirades with long diatribes of obscenities, threats of bodily harm, and personal attacks. It was both bizarre and terrifying!

That’s what overt bullying looks like, especially to targets.

Overt bullying looks like angry and snarling faces that bare their teeth and spit on you as they scream, yell and threaten you while balling a fist in your face.

And they called me crazy? I see it so clearly now. They were the crazy ones.

Then, there was covert bullying.

I remember how the covert bullies would come to me with smiles on their faces. How they would act so sincere as they asked such personal questions about my private life. If I was dating, they’d ask such personal questions:

“Have you given it up to him yet?”

“Have you gotten horizontal yet?”

“Are you still a virgin?”

I didn’t answer those questions, of course. However, the questions alone made me feel violated. For them to think they could ask me such questions so openly made me feel disrespected.

The covert bullying looked like smiling faces with a gleam in their eyes as they hurled zingers and backhanded compliments. Covert bullying was the shaking of your hand with one hand and hiding the knife behind their back with the other. It was the tiny nibbles and little violations of my boundaries that would arouse my anger and provoke me to tell them to piss off, or to mind their own damned business.

I was very ugly to people when they’d pull this crap, and I reacted very harshly. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the covert bullies were looking for- a reaction.

The overt bullies, however, were looking for submission and compliance, and if they didn’t get it, God help the person they wanted it from. And the covert bullies always became more and more overt as time went on. Until they too eventually became just as crazy.

Many of them were so unpredictable. They were like Jekyll and Hide, or like ticking time-bombs. The bullying I suffered was shocking and surreal.

It was as if they were all using black magic- like they had dark powers and they would unleash a legion of demons from the pits of hell. They could magically morph into whatever character they wished, it depended on the audience present at the time.

Understand that those metaphors are just a few examples of how all targets describe their tormentors and if they use those metaphors, listen to them because they’re not lying, nor are they “making it up.” You can’t make this stuff up.

And if you’re a target of this kind of evil, you should always stand up to the mini-micro violations because, if you don’t, the violations will only grow bigger until they become out of control. Never accept even the tiniest of offenses from a bully because if you give an inch, they will take ten miles.

If it’s overt, find a way to remove yourself from the situation for your personal safety.

Remember that you teach people how to treat you and you do it by what you’ll put up with. Always put yourself first and stand up for your rights. You’ll thank yourself for it later. I’m living proof of it.

Thank goodness I don’t get that behavior from anyone anymore because I know how to keep my cool and tell someone in a politer way to get lost any time they stick as much as a toe over my boundary line. And know that you won’t be a target forever either if you continue to stand firm and refuse to accept bad treatment.

Again, if you’re listening to someone who describes the bullying they’ve suffered and refers to their bullies as either of the above metaphors or even as dictators or tyrants, listen to them and more importantly,  believe them! They’re telling the truth and they know what they’re talking about!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Short Reminder to Targets of Bullying

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Anytime bullies escalate their abuse- anytime they increase their name calling and double their efforts to besmirch you, it only means they’re scared to death and desperate to contain the threat that you are to them. They see you as a threat to their perceived status and power.

Therefore, they feel they must double down on the abuse. What they don’t realize is that they only make themselves look desperate and pathetic. Their blatant repetition and redundancy is so telling. Bystanders and witnesses to their deplorable behavior might not say the quiet part out loud but trust me, they see it, and they think it.

And rest assured that the ones who take the bullies’ side already know who the good guy is, only they’ll never admit it because they’re too scared of becoming the next target.

Always remember that. You have more power than you know. Bask in it.

Why Many Young Bullies Today Desperately Want Socialism

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Three words! Entitlement, jealousy, and resentment – of anyone they perceived as better off than they are.

Understand that the young people who promote Marxism, Socialism, and Communism in America- many of whom join groups like BLM, Antifa, BAMN, and The Red Guard are the same kids who were growing up when everyone was getting trophies for participation.

They never learned good sportsmanship because their feelings and pride were always shielded from disappointment with these participation trophies, and they never had to deal with any sense of failure.

But then something happened. These children grew up– and no longer had their equally entitled and overly protective parents to shield them from the realities of the real world! And, low and behold, the real world gave them a good sucker-punch, causing such a rude awaking that it shattered their fragile egos and sense of entitlement. Ouch!

Suddenly, they began to see that some people were just a little more fortunate than they were! That some people had more “stuff” than they did! That some people were much better off than they were!

“Oh, my God! What a bummer!”

“Oh, the unfairness of it all!”

“The injustice of it all!”

“How dare they have a life better than me!”

Those are the collective thoughts of these kids, and it doesn’t matter whether these “lucky” people worked their butts off for what they have. It doesn’t matter that many of these more fortunate people were once poor themselves but managed to pull themselves up by their bootstraps by starting businesses of their own.

No. None of that matters to these kids because many of them are thirty plus years old and still living in their parent’s basements, sadly. They feel as if life didn’t give them a fair shake, so they shouldn’t have to work for anything. They would rather have security than freedom.

The only thing that matters to people in these groups is that these lucky others have it, they want it, and if they can’t get it, nobody else should have it either. So, they want to make the world more equal. Because, “If I can’t have it, then, by George, I’ll make sure nobody else has a chance of achieving it!”

Thus, the idea of Socialist utopia began to sound like the perfect solution to their feelings of jealousy, failure, and inferiority.

Even sadder is the fact that some of these kids grew up with parents who thought it more comfortable to live on welfare and watch soap operas all day, rather than get a job or go to school to create better lives for their children.

And many of these parents who did go to school didn’t finish because, even though they received Federal Pell Grants, studying for hours a day was “too hard” when you had children. Therefore, they never taught these kids the harsh reality that nothing good ever comes easy!

And many of the parents who did go to work, only worked long enough to receive a couple of paychecks, then they would quit and go back to living on welfare. I saw this with my own eyes. These parents were my age. And the running theme was this:

“I was looking for a job when I found this one, and I’ll be looking for a job when I find the next one.”

Back in the nineties and the beginning of the first decade of the new millennium, jobs were plentiful. However, it was tough for employers to find good workers because nobody cared whether they got fired or laid off and didn’t see the incentive to keep going when the job grew hard and monotonous.

Jealousy

Meanwhile, their children were growing up, going to school. They had to watch other kids, whose parents did believe in the value of hard work. These kids watched them come to school wearing Tommy Hilfiger, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Filas, and secretly coveted their good lifestyles and hating them for having them. And it seems they never got over it.

And this is the product we get- a generation of spoiled, self-entitled young adults who scream for justice now. And their justice would be that everyone ends up equally poor.

Rather than everyone having the opportunity to pull themselves out of poverty and pursue a better life, which is what Capitalism and Fee Enterprise gives us, these kids would rather everyone be poor and oppressed under Socialism. Because God forbid, they see anyone other than themselves rise above it while they remain stuck in it!

But what they don’t realize is that with Socialism not only comes poverty, but oppression, lawlessness, sickness, famine, and death!

Remember that the only difference between Socialism and downright Communism is that people vote Socialism in. With Communism, people force it in by starting a revolution. Look up the Bolshevic Revolution that brought Communism to Russia.

Venezuela voted in Socialism in 1992. And they were a very prosperous nation then.

But it only took a decade for the country to plunge into the hell hole that it is today. Many people are trying to leave that country and come to the US for a better life. And if the US turns socialist, there will be nowhere else to go! The entire world will go dark! America will not be the utopia that these young and misinformed useful tools of the Left imagine.

In conclusion, my message to these kids, who haven’t lived in this world long enough to know the difference, is this:

Are you sure you know what you’re asking for? Are you willing to accept what comes with it?

“Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” And when you get it, you won’t like it! But by then it will be too late to turn back!

Why Seasoned Bullies Prefer Psychological/Emotional Bullying

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PTSD

Why? Because this type of harassment offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, Psycho/Emotional bullying is less evident to others outside the bully-victim dynamic because it leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds. Therefore, the target has no proof that any bullying ever took place. The bullies can easily deny any incidences if the victim becomes fed up and either assert themselves or reports the harassment to an authority figure.

Afterward, the bullies can brand the target as mentally unstable, destroy his/her credibility, reputation, and relationships, then retaliate against the victim by continuing and escalating the harassment later.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards and the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment that are well-planned in advance.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Human being with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

They go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty, committing their attacks ever so slowly and subtly, undercover and behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

These types of bullies are often in the Preppy/Popular crowd at school or in the Good Ole’ Boy Clique at work because of their superior social skills, ability to read people and predict others’ reactions. They have a talent for keeping up appearances.

They are usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers, and CEOs. They excel in studies, join clubs or sororities/fraternities, and make themselves out to be high performers at work by stealing others’ ideas and work.

Because their popularity and extreme likeability serve as a shield from accountability and add a lot of weight to their lies and deceit, they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, they likely come from families who have powerful connections, which is all the more reason why they must keep up appearances. Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths, which is why they are such good liars and seem to have the right answer or justification for anything.

Bullies of this kind also have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty, so if they want to cause any physical harm to their target, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them, being sure to offer money and social status as possible incentives to get the job done and stay quiet.

But understand that most of their followers don’t like them; they only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them- their approval and the power and social status that comes with it.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will also use their social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled (kids with Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Traumatic Brain Injury, etc.) and the physically disabled (kids with Diabetes, Lupus, heart defects, and food allergies; kids who are paraplegic, etc.).

They also target kids with weight issues (overweight or underweight), those with low self-esteem, or those younger and smaller.

And most of the abuse they dish out to these kids is strictly psychological or emotional because they’re such cowards! Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable kids to push around in the first place.

Since you have to go to school or work with these types and there is no way to avoid these types of people or to go no-contact, I want you to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps so that you can learn their weaknesses and expose them for your own protection.

You must get into the minds of these bullies. You must think as they do even though it’s not a pleasant place to properly defend yourself, and I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

Sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky, and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are before they back off.

The more you know, the more you’re prepared, the better you can protect yourself from such people.

Dirty Truths That Cliques Don’t Want You to Know

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People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others– and for no apparent reason. Cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others. Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.

A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes, but the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.

You get the point. Cliques exclude people for no logical reason, which only brings me to conclude that their members do it strictly to get psychological benefits- to be mean and to feel like they’re better than someone.

I’m not talking about clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject- The Math Club, The Music Club, etc. So, naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense.

However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them. They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.

I want you to realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.

Bullies belong to cliques, always. And they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves. They must make someone feel bad to make themselves feel good.

confident blonde teen standing in front of the clique

Sadly, they don’t realize that they only forfeit their chances of meeting people who could be interesting and be great additions to their existence.

If you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

Are those frauds even worth knowing?
Are they even on my level?
Would they benefit my life in any way?
Am I really missing anything?

Understand that, besides the ability to feel better than or superior to others, cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations, and living the same lackluster lives.

And if being a part of the clique is the only way its members can have any excitement in their lives, then wow! They are some miserable souls, and you should have pity on them.

Cliques only restrict their members from talking to anyone on the outside and take away the possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in their lives and could actually teach them something.

So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?

Bullies with Social Capital Are the Most Destructive- What You Can Do to Minimize the Damage

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These are the bullies with the most social connections and friends in high places- the bullies well thought of (or well-feared) by a vast majority in a school, workplace, neighborhood, or community. They can be the “cool kids” at school or the “Good Ol’ Boy” clique at work or in town. These bullies can also be local politicians and businessmen or members of certain well-known families in a particular area.

Although money does help, these people don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known people who were quite poor who had these types of relationships as well. What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people, which is why bullies in these select groups are especially dangerous and can do the most damage to a target.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships to re-enforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing. In many cases, they already have close and well-established ties, which go back several years.

These relationships ensure that the bullies are well-protected and above reproach. Worst of all, they also give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity. These are the types who will watch you closely.

These bullies know they have good name recognition, and they take advantage of it. Any time a bully has a ton of social capital, others will not risk alienating them for fear of being the next target. And chances are that if they target you, their followers, who are secondary bullies, will only follow their lead.

Social Capital

In short, bullies can weaponize their connections and popularity!

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior and can do anything they want to anyone. And they will take full advantage. If you become a target of one of these people, they will use their connections and influence to destroy every aspect of your life. Also, they’ll never stop coming after you.

Understand that these bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing. Their names alone carry much weight behind them. They have trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors which promote unity and strengthen their group. When one of these people says something, others, even those outside their circle of connections, are more likely to listen attentively and take their word as fact!

I call these people “sacred cows” because they have such power and influence in a school, corporation, or community that they’re perceived as not to be questioned nor spoken against, even if they’re in the wrong.

With sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them, they may even hate them, but you can be sure that they fear them. So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

With that said, if you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns, and others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and blacklist you, robbing you of any opportunity to find other means of employment.

These people can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. If you own a business, they can either discourage customers from patronizong it or have their worker bees to set fire to and burn it down altogether. And don’t put it past these bullies to trump up false criminal charges against you, set you up to be arrested, or send henchmen to either visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity, and you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

But here are a few things you can do to lessen the trauma these powerful bullies can cause and build your own social capital.

A macho man standing crossed arms near-luxury open-top car in tropical resort isometric image vector illustration

1. Befriend and align yourself with other targets because you can be sure that you aren’t the only one these bullies torment.

2. If you can find people who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but whom the bullies ousted for whatever reason, that’s even better! These people would be the ones who have private and sensitive info about each of the bullies and their sycophants. They’ll more than likely be looking for a little payback and only too happy to give you the deets!

3. Establish tight connections with your fellow targets and with the former members whom the bullies booted out of the “social club” or double-crossed. Band together with them because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

4. Pal around with or eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with these targets and outcasts and with as many of them as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

5. The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better!

6. Important!!! Always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

7. Make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If need be and all else fails, move to a new area.

8. Tell no one of your plans, where your new job is, your address, or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!

Never Ask a Bully Why

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Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you. They will never tell you why they bully you also because, in many cases, they don’t know themselves.

To keep you confused and bewildered is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly. And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy. To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you. They are the crazy ones. They are the ones with the problem, and they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Instead of focusing your attention on finding out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation and the toxic environment?” Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

Why People Bully

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Someone came to me with a burning question that I used to ask all the time. I am certain that millions of people worldwide have asked the same question, “Why do People Bully?”

There are many answers, and they all depend on the individual bully.

1. Spoiled, Coddled, Narcissistic bullies.

These kinds of bullies bully because they are arrogant and overconfident. They truly believe that they are superior to and better than anyone else and will stop at nothing to let you know who’s boss. They are self-entitled, self-serving, and have no empathy.

With people such as these, the ends always justify the means. They do everything possible to keep the spotlight on themselves and hog all the attention. They consider themselves highly privileged.

These people are also jealous of anyone who outshines or outdoes them in any way because they believe that any happiness, successes, accolades, and victories should be reserved for only them.

If you have a talent that brings you recognition, look out! Because these bullies will punish you for it, and they will pull out all the stops to crush your self-esteem and kill your confidence.

You will often find these people in the popular and preppy crowd at school or in the “Good Ole Boy” clique at work. These folks will often be jocks, cheerleaders, and sorority/fraternity nuts at school, or in management or one of their suck-ups at work.

2. Hurting and Victimized Bullies (Bully-Victims)

These bullies bully because they are being bullied themselves either in the home, at school/workplace, or both. These folks feel powerless. So, to reclaim some of the power that has been stripped away from them, they search for someone they perceive to be even weaker than they are and bully them.

These people have a strong need to feel like they have control over something in their lives.

Here’s an example:

A child is yelled at by his parents, then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog.”

Also, no one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, “Sh** rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.” So, to stay off the bottom, these types will often find someone else to bully, so they don’t feel like they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

3. Bullies who Are Followers, Drones, and Wannabes

These bullies are to be pitied because they are quite pathetic when you really think of it. They will suck up to the in-crowd (the narcissistic bullies), and all too often, they do this by either bullying those lower on the social totem pole or participating in the bullying somehow.

Many of these people will say, ‘How High?’ when a person from the in-crowd tells them to jump. They often do the dirty work of the narcissistic bullies, join in with them in bullying others, or agree with them.

But understand that these people are only kiss-butts, yes-men, and brown-noses; and are only bullying you or your child for a ticket into the popular crowd or because they’re afraid of becoming the next target.

Different people bully for different reasons. When we can distinguish the reasons each bully bullies we can better prepare and protect ourselves.