If you are a target of bullying, have you ever noticed that bullies always seem to bring up your past? A past mistake? A record of some kind, such as a police record of vandalism you might have committed when you were seventeen. Maybe you got drunk at a frat party and did a table dance while stripping down to your underwear. Whatever the faux pas might have been, people sure seem to love throwing it in your face.
However, I want you to realize that they do this for several reasons. And if you knew those reasons, you just might end up feeling so much better about yourself.
Therefore, here are 4 reasons bullies bring up your past:
1. Your bullies do it out of jealousy.
A jealous person feels threatened by your good qualities and accomplishments. Your bullies may resent an accomplishment. Also, they could envy a characteristic you’ve recently developed. Maybe you’re becoming more confident lately and they’re jealousy of your confident attitude. You’ve brought your grades up and begun making straight A’s. Or you’ve won that coveted promotion at work. It could be that you’ve gotten an outstanding paying job with one of the top paying companies in town. Nevertheless, they see that you’re evolving and it threatens their power.
Understand that anytime you accomplish something, no matter how small, you will attract a mountain of jealousy your way. However, the best thing to do is to let them go ahead and act out. Realize that they’re doing it out of raw emotion and chances are, they’ll make total fools of themselves.
In other words, when a bully acts out of jealousy, he is unwittingly admitting to you and the other people around him that he feels inferior to you. Remember the quote by Napoleon Bonaparte, “Never interfere with an enemy in the process of destroying himself.
2. Your past is just that – the past.
Realize that we all have pasts, some good and others not so pleasant. We’ve all made mistakes and will continue to make them. There is nothing you can do about the past. What’s done is done and it’s time to forgive yourself and move on. Even if you have others who constantly remind you of the “old you”, you must keep in mind that you’ve changed for the better and that person doesn’t exist anymore.
Moreover, here’s something else to keep in mind. Several celebrities had rough pasts before they became famous. Some came from incarceration, others were addicts or came from poverty. Therefore, never be ashamed of your past. It doesn’t define you, nor does it determine what your future will be.
3. The bullies are getting desperate.
They’re desperate to find something terrible you’ve done or were involved in to sully your reputation. Understand that if they can’t find dirt on you, their next objective is to bring up your past.
4. Your past is the stepping-stone that got you to where you are now.
Whatever you might have done or gotten involved in during your past, you had to go through that phase of your life to get where you are now. It was only a stop along the road that lead you to the place you’re at today. So, don’t be ashamed of it. Be proud of how far you’ve come since.
So, don’t let that shake you. Do not let these people tear you down! Consequently, there are so many people who either live in regret of their pasts, or they let others make them feel bad by reminding them of it. These people can’t seem to move forward because something which happened years ago is holding them back.
Therefore, don’t be one of these people! Know that your past doesn’t determine your future. See this dirty tactic for what it is and see your bullies for who and what they are. They are only jealous and desperate people with low self-esteem and insecurity issues. And the only way they can feel better about themselves is to pee on your victories and bring you down to their level. Pathetic, isn’t it?
With knowledge comes empowerment!