Bullies see any recognition the target gets for a good deed, high marks, an accomplishment, or success as the target’s having diminished them somehow. If you’re a target, these types of bullies will only see any success you enjoy as a reflection on them.
You force them to think about and take stock of their own successes and failures. Understand that it’s the bullies’ self-focus that sets the stage for their anger and hostility toward you. They will personalize your success as if you’re an opponent who’s competing with them for the same prize.
The bullies are forced to compare themselves with you out of fear that other people will consider them less worthy or important than you. They feel invisible and left out because they’re not getting the praise that you’re getting. So, they get a sense of disregard from others.
When You Outshine a Bully, They Take it Personally.
But rather than have normal feelings of disappointment and regret, they have anger and hatred toward you.
Although you never did any harm to them, the bullies feel a sense of injustice because they feel that you don’t deserve the recognition but they do. They feel wronged and very much entitled to their anger and hostility.
Bullies will then accuse you of thinking you’re better than they are- as if they know what you’re thinking. And they really do think they can read your mind correctly, which then only further arouses their anger and hate.
Again, according to the bullies’ logic, you’ve wronged them somehow so, you are the enemy. And this perceived wrong that you’ve done compels the bullies to act hostile toward you because the bullies’ egos have been bruised by your successes and accomplishments.
Just as money is the root of evil, ego is the root of jealousy. And bullies have enormous egos!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
7 thoughts on “Narcissistic Bullying and Jealousy”
Ooo, this is good…
Thank you so much, Greg! 😃
I’ve been on both sides of that coin. Frankly, I’d rather be bullied than to bully. Essentially, bullies are deeply troubled people. They struggle with feelings of inferiority and the only way they can deal with it is to lash out. I don’t know why I changed. I guess I developed on conscience? I was able to empathize with others, having been bullied earlier in life? IDK. I just know that I love your insightful and informative posts!
Your story sounds so much like mine, Russell. I was a bully too, not just a target. And, like you, I’d rather be the bullied than the bully because I hated that I bullied others. It was wasn’t who I was and I only did it because I felt so powerless. Thank goodness I stopped a long time ago.