Any time a bully is asked by others why he/she behaves the way they do toward you; the bully will often come up with something that sounds plausible and makes sense. And let’s face it, we’ve all met people who instantly give us the heebie-jeebies, or whom we were suspicious of, and we didn’t even have to see them do anything for it to raise our alarm bells. The person didn’t even have to speak. He/she may have even been a nice person and very well-behaved, but still, we just didn’t feel good around the person.
Therefore, these explanations are so plausible. Because some people, regardless of whether they’ve done anything wrong, just seem to creep others out and we should always follow our gut instinct.
Closeup portrait of skeptical man looking suspicious, some disgust on his face mixed with disapproval isolated on gray background. Negative human emotions, facial expressions, feelings
But! Because these explanations are so plausible and relatable, they can also be used by bullies to deceive others into shunning or even abusing you. Because if one person makes the statement that a certain individual gives them a bad feeling, and the person saying it happens to be a trusted and highly thought of person, (as many bullies are because of their ability to charm and draw others to them) those listening will automatically think, “Whoa! If so-and-so gives Becky a bad feeling, then what have I been missing here?”
And the others will automatically become suspicious of the person too. Remember that moods, emotions, and behaviors have a highly contagion effect, and tend to spread over a group, community, or population like a brush fire!
1.“She just rubs me the wrong way!”
2. “I just don’t like him.”
3. “I just get a bad feeling about her!”
4. “There’s just something about him that I don’t like!”
5. “She just gives me a bad feeling!”
6. “I just don’t feel good around him!”
7. “Something about her just scares me!”
Positive teenage student boy keeps hands folded, tooth smile imagine himself an angel with fluffy wings behind back and a halo above head. Super power, inner strength and innocence concept.
Here’s the thing. When the bully is highly thought of and well-trusted, the people who like and trust that bully are likely to doubt their own senses and go with the word of the bully- simply because they trust their judgement. Put simpler, they will trust their judgement more than they do their own.
Realize that this evil individual is trying to be slick! There’s a purpose for this and it’s to cast doubt on you in the eyes of others and to provoke suspicion. Nothing more. And all it takes is a seed of doubt to begin a long smear campaign. The best thing to do is to see it for exactly what it is- a smear campaign in the making and watch the bully escalate it from there.
Watch the bully try to “create” bogus stories. She will also create proof to back it up by baiting you into a verbal altercation or fight to get a reaction out of you. Then she can use your normal reaction and spin it to fit her twisted narrative. That’s how this scenario works, so be on the lookout!
If possible, the best thing to do is to avoid this person altogether and save yourself a ton of drama. Remember- out of sight, out of mind.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Interesting Narrative, Dear Cherie
Thank you so much, Anand. And it’s true. All it takes is to plant that tiny seed of doubt and watch it grow. It’s sad.