Bullies are slick with their insults. Many times, they may disguise their vitriol and contempt with the use of doublespeak.
The term “doublespeak” comes from George Orwell’s book “1984” and a person uses it when he uses euphemisms and words that sound more palatable to the ears. Bullies use doublespeak to sound concerned rather than hateful to keep from turning other people off.
For example:
A bully is degrading and defaming their target. But rather than being blunt and saying,
“I can’t stand him, he’s batshit crazy and he belongs in the nuthouse!” the bully will instead say,
“I’m very concerned about him. I think he has a mental imbalance somewhere that hasn’t been addressed. I hope he gets the help he needs.”
The first version would make the bully sound like the person she truly is- a nasty old shrew! The second version sounds so much better and makes the bully look like a good person who’s genuinely concerned for the target.
Here’s another example:
A bully is putting her neighbor down. But rather than say,
“I’d like to catch her in the street and beat the living crap out of her and leave her to die!” which would make the bully sound like a vindictive and hateful bitch, she says,
“If she doesn’t change her attitude, I’m afraid someone’s going to hurt her really bad!”
Again, the second version sounds so much better because it shows concern rather than hatred for the target and it also makes the target look like she must be bringing the bad treatment on herself.
It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it and the nonverbal communication you use with it that makes all the difference. It’s too easy to bully someone without looking like a bully!
Believe it or not, if you’re a target, you know when you’re being bullied no matter how covert your bullies may be. The trick is to call it out in the early stages before the sneaky attacks become a habit or a set pattern.
Never let anyone grow too comfortable with abusing you. Once they do, the abuse will escalate until it gets so out of control that people won’t even try to hide it! And that’s when you will be in grave danger!
Again! Call it out in the early stages. It’s the only way you’ll be able to put a stop to it!
Your words are so encouraging and comfortable
I’m so glad to hear this. Thank you so much ❤
I wish my teachers had had this sort of mindset when I was bullied at school in front of them and they just turned a blind eye. I wasn’t in any position to confront them or make them stop but they could have done something. I definitely don’t miss those days…😔😔
I don’t blame you, sweetie. My heart goes out to you for what you had to endure. And in most cases, teachers aren’t only complacent when your classmates bully you, sometimes they encourage it if they happen not to like the student being bullied. Know that you have my support. 💖💐🌹
Of case it is. ” Too easy to bully someone without being …
Absolutely! 💯
Yes, this sooo much! This happened at school and even some teachers joined in saying mean things in such “kind” ways…
My last relationship also had my ex talking about me like that to people I thought of as friends. I was too blind to see that it wasn’t real concern but her narcissistic bullying… Now I see! After I’ve been hurt badly.
Thank you for addressing this! I’ll repost it on my site for more exposure! 🤗
You’re most welcome, Cynni! And thank you for your kindness and support. 😊 💖💐
Thank you and you’re very welcome 🤗
Too many people cling to the old addage of “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you!” I can’t begin to make you understand how much some of the words have hurt me.
I’m with you there. Words do have power.
You’re on point once again Cherie. “Never let anyone grow too comfortable with abusing you.” 🤬 Girlfriend, I agree with your message. It’s a surefire bet that when they get comfortable abusing you, the more discomfort and trauma you will be in. Tragic! 😫
You said it girl! 💯🎯👍Because once they get comfortable with it, they’ll only get pissed off when you defend yourself and most likely hurt you. It’s very tragic! 😥😥😥
AMEN Cherie! AMEN!!! 👍🏼🥂👏🏼
Thank you so much Kym. 💖💐🌹 You’ve been such a blessing! 🙌
You’re absolutely welcome Cherie, and you continue to be a blessing to all of us. Thank you for that, my lady!!! 🤗💖🦋🎆😎
This happening at the place I work, I can so relate! Thanks.
I’m so sorry your workplace is infected with this. It can be like swimming in shark infected waters. I hope and pray you flourish at your job regardless. ❤
Thank you for the thought and kindness.
You’re most welcome ☺
Well written. I loved this 💚
Thank you so much. This means a lot! <3