I’ve seen so many bullied targets- even people who aren’t victims pander- or, in laymen terms, suck up. No doubt about it, bullies can be intimidating, even downright threatening. Anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do anything they have to do to quell the danger. That, I completely understand.
But is it always a good idea to pander to your bullies? Hmm. Let’s find out.
Vector illustration of a grovel in business
First let’s ask these two questions.
1. Would pandering really change things? No. Why? Because when we pander, we only give away more of our personal power. And that’s exactly what bullies want. Also, bullies see pandering as bowing down and kissing their feet. And they only get a huge power rush and ego boost from it and, as we all know, bullies can’t get enough of those.
2. Would it change your bullies’ minds about harming you? It might for the moment. You may indeed pacify them, but the appeasement will only too quickly wear off. Trust me on this one, your bullies will come back for more later. That is a given.
3. You’ll end up feeling like a complete wuss later. You’ll only ruminate, asking yourself over and over again, “Why the hell did I just kowtow to this creep?” or “Why do I continuously let these people take a deuce all over me every chance they get?” Trust me, your self-esteem will take a huge dent and you’ll end up kicking yourself for it later.
Pandering is for pansies. I can tell you that if you start thinking for yourself and standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries, it’s true that they may bully you harder for it. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.
And yes. The harassment may get worse before it gets better. But, in the end, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t bend over for those morons. You’ll feel more confident and be proud of yourself, knowing that you stood firm and that you eventually overcome. And there is no better feeling. I guarantee it!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Every word of yours is the downright truth!! I have experienced this myself and yes, I have even kicked myself later for licking the boots of those toxic people. But now I know better and dont give a damn notice. 😌
Thanks for this… Uh, may I call you Cherrie?? 😁
Been there and like you, I kicked myself later.
Girl! I love the puppy licking the patent leather boot😂😂🙃
😂🤣😂🤣 Thank you! It’s definitely amusing. 💯
for the accuser of our brethren(Our Biggest Bully), he who keeps bringing before our God charges against them day and night, has been cast out! (Rev 12:10)
Yes Indeed- We Overcome and We Win!!🏆🎯🙏🏾👏💕
Absolutely we do! 🏆🎖🏆🎖🎉
Totally agree with this one! I learned from experience that giving in and letting Bullies do what they want, only makes them more arrogant and they escalate their abuse, as they see they are getting away with it. This was my experience, though it wasn’t me who gave in, but I was forced to go along with it, against my own personal wishes. In the end, i did feel like a wuss so I stopped and started looking after myself, as no one else was. It did get way worse after I started defending myself against them, but it has settled down now. How can it not?
I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself, Stella. I’m also proud of you for taking steps to take care of yourself. 🤗🤗🤗
Thanks Cherie, thank you for your support all these years, even when you didn’t know you were giving it to me. I appreciate all you do.
You’re very welcome, Stella. 💕💕💕
Dear Cherie, You are always an inspiration for me. Whenever I read your posts, I feel a new surge of energy within me and I feel my self-confidence growing to the next level.
Aww, thank you so much! 💖
Girl, as you said, pandering will not change a single thing. Not one iota! Just like your brown-nosers from yesterday, pandering is for pansies. Harsh, but oh so true girlfriend!!! Bravo on another fine testimonial. 👏🏼🌟💖⭐🥰
It sure won’t, girl! 💯 You know it! And you’re most welcome, dahh-ling! 💕💕💕