Tag: mean-spirited

mean-spirited

Bullying As An Aphrodisiac

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That’s what bullying is to bullies, an aphrodisiac. It’s the only way bullies can feel good. Hurting other people they select as targets is like a drug to them. It’s highly addictive because it gives them a massive rush of power.

I want you to understand that targeting people for attacks and bullying is how they find meaning in their lives. And the only excitement they can add to their meaningless lives is through the mistreatment of their targets. Simply put, bullies bully because they enjoy it!

People crave power, fame, notoriety, and influence- even the best of them. But most people can get those through love, through their hobbies, jobs, talent, and creativity. Bullies, on the other hand, don’t have these things going for them. Some might have jobs but aren’t satisfied in their positions. So, they abuse people instead.

Bullies either can’t get those benefits any other way, or they can’t get enough of them. So, for them, destroying the lives of their targets is the only power they have.

And once their victim is no longer available to them because he’s either quit, moved, or died by suicide, that drug, that aphrodisiac isn’t there anymore. So, what do the bullies do? They search for another target to get their next fix- their power high because they need authority over somebody, anybody.

Understand that this “fix” always wears off, and bullies consistently need another dose. So, again, once their “drug (victim)” is gone, they may even turn on one of their friends if they can’t find a target outside their peer group.

Bad behavior bullying children cartoon characters composition with a group of teenage girls laughing at their classmate vector illustration

My point is that if you’re a target of bullies. You are not the one with the issues.

Your bullies are the ones who have the problems. Your bullies are the ones who are severely mentally unbalanced. Your bullies are the ones who belong in mental institutions; they only hide it behind their undermining and degrading of you and others. Realize that they’re only projecting their problems onto you. Your bullies are using you as a distraction. And they have to work hard at it, which doesn’t make for a good life.

Always remember that, and their insults and stupidity won’t bother you as much. I promise you!

Toxic Friendship

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Have you ever experienced a toxic friendship. If you’re old enough, you probably have. Here are the signs and symptoms of a bad friend that you must know.

 

Have you ever had so-called friends who seemed to turn hot and cold toward you? Who manipulated you into doing something you didn’t want to do? Fake friends who never had your back and always threw you under the bus whenever you were in trouble or in danger? Who treated you shabbily and didn’t seem to care how they hurt you? Whom you had to apologize to for things you weren’t guilty of just to keep the peace?

Have you ever had that particular friend who seemed possessive of you and wanted to keep you all to herself? Who would get angry when she saw you talking to another friend of yours, or worse, treat the other friend like a fifth wheel because she feels threatened by your friendship with the other girl?

 

Or…maybe it’s less obvious. Your so-called friend discourages you when you tell him what your plans for the future are. You tell your frenemy that you’re planning to cut a CD, or write a book and publish it. And he shoots you off your saddle by telling you in the most caring and concerned tone,

“I want to warn you before you get your hopes up because the last thing I want is to see you disappointed. Most singers and writers never get anywhere with their music and books. It’s hard to make it in that industry today.”

Although that may be true- it’s very difficult to make it in both the music and publishing industries, your friend should at least encourage you and be proud of you for having the guts to try. Because, who knows? You may be one of the lucky few who do make it. However, if you don’t even try, you won’t even have a chance of succeeding.

 

Maybe you have a dream of one day becoming an actor and your friends ridicule you for having that dream and tell you that you’ll only crash and burn.

Maybe you’ve made a great achievement or won an award and your friends only give you backhanded compliments, or trivialize your accomplishment.

Any time friends discourage you like that, you have to wonder if they’re only discouraging you because they’re afraid that you just might be successful. You also must ask yourself whether they believe in you or not, or if they’re secretly resentful of your success.

 

If you’re having these problems with those who are supposed to be your friends. My loving advice is to find new friends. You owe it to yourself. Realize that real friends make us feel better about ourselves not worse. Real friends enhance your life, they don’t cause pain or humiliation.

Toxic friends only suck the life out of you and leave you feeling worthless. You deserve friends who are ride or die. You deserve friends who are there for you no matter what kind of storms you may be going through. And you deserve friends who value you and don’t want to lose you.

 

But first, you must value yourself. And how you value yourself is to get rid of anyone who doesn’t treat you as well as you treat them. You may be alone for a spell, but your people will find you eventually and it will be worth it in the end. I guarantee it!