Sadly, targets of bullying often make poor life choices because of bullying. Years ago, I was targeted and yes, I made some really bad decisions, some of which continue to affect my life today.
At the time, I didn’t really know why I made those decisions. However, today, there is no doubt in my mind that the reason I allowed myself to get into smoking marijuana and having sex during high school was that I was lonely from being bullied.
You see? Most targets have been bullied for so many years that they will do anything- anything, to be accepted and make friends. After so long, the loneliness, the despair, and the sadness becomes too much to bear and desperation begins to creep in.
Young Targets may do one or more of the following:
1. Try drugs
2. Overeat
3. Undereat
2. Have unsafe sex/promiscuity
3. Join gangs
4. Participate in crime
5. Commit high-risk behaviors (like drag-racing and dangerous daredevil stunts)
They will sometimes do these things just to feel like they belong.
Girls may begin “dating down”. They settle for either a partner they don’t really love, or an abusive partner just for validation that they too can attain romance and they are worthy of love just like everyone else. Boys may do the same.
They may also get into drinking, drugs, and hard partying.
Girls may also deliberately become pregnant because they want so bad to have someone (the baby) to love them.
If you are a target of bullying, I can’t emphasize enough that you don’t have to do these things to be accepted or to feel loved. There are better options.
Instead of making unwise choices, practice your talents, and do the things you enjoy. Spend time with the people who DO love you. Give a little of yourself to help others every day and I promise you, it will pay off sooner or later.
Know that there will come a day when you attract genuine friends into your life. IT’s true. Believe it with every fiber of your being!
For me keeping up with my peers in high school was not an issue. I couldn’t care less about that. After school I did my own thing, working three part time jobs. The rest of the time was my music and Biblical studies.
I wasn’t part of any social group, good or bad.
I hear ya. I never cared to keep up with mine either. But outside of school I did have boyfriend’s and I did have older friends I hung out with and smoked a lot of weed with. I made some pretty bad life choices.
I can’t say all my choices were good. The worst was dropping out of high school. I kick myself regularly for it.
I understand completely. Although I graduated, I know many who didn’t and they tell me the same thing- that they’ve regretted it since.