Be kind, yes. But being kind doesn’t mean you have to kiss booty. Too many people seem to think that kindness is weakness. This distortion of thinking comes from the assumption that being kind equals kissing booty. Let me dispel these myths right now. Kindness is not weakness and it doesn’t mean kissing butt.
Understand that when people make these generalizations, they do it for two reasons:
1. As an excuse not to be kind.
2. Because they’ve been taught these types of things by abusive parents and family members, or by bullies.
Again, kindness isn’t weakness nor is it kissing booty. With that said, let’s distinguish between the two. What’s the difference between being kind and kissing butt? Here are your answers:
1. Being kind comes from confidence. Confident people extend kindness because they’re confident and they know they don’t have to be unkind. When a person is kind, they have confidence in both themselves and in others.
Kissing booty comes from insecurity and a lack of confidence. The intentions of kissing butt are never pure.. People kiss butt out of fear and insecurity.
2. Being kind comes from having pure intentions. People who extend true kindness expect nothing in return. Just the notion that they’ve made someone smile is the rewards they get. Being kind is being true.
Kissing booty comes from ulterior motives. People kiss butt either to get out of trouble and escape accountability, or they do because they want something from the “booty-kissee,”
Many times, people kiss butt for acceptance and approval, favor, and special treatment. They do it because they expect to benefit, whether socially, psychologically, or materially. Kissing booty is being manipulative.
3. Being kind also means being kind to yourself. Kind people are kind to themselves too. What this means is that, that they know that they can be kind to others without taking any crap from them. Truly kind people have boundaries. They don’t extend kindness at their own expense. Being kind is a virtue.
Kissing booty can mean being a doormat. A person who kisses butt has no boundaries and may put up with bad treatment from the people he kisses up to. He’s willing to sacrifice his dignity and self-respect just to get the benefits he’s after. Sadly, this kind of person usually gets shafted and then laughed at. Because most people have no respect for him, not even the people he kowtows to. Kissing booty is pathetic!
You’ll put up with shoddy treatment, all for the safe of getting that benefit you’re seeking by sucking up. And the harsh truth is that you may not get that benefit anyway. Some people are only good for reneging once you’ve served your purpose. Then you’ll only look and feel like a real tool. And you know what? That’s exactly what you are- a tool.
Therefore, it’s imperative that you learn the difference in the two, that way you’ll better be able to extend kindness and, at the same time, protect yourself from being used.
With knowledge comes empowerment!