Tag: survival mode

Bullied Kids Embracing the Suck

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Embracing The Suck

Life circumstances can sometimes trap young targets of bullying in a school that hates them. It’s easier to get out of a toxic environment when you’re an adult target bullied at work. you can transfer, and if you can’t transfer, you can always quit. However, when you’re a minor, it’s almost impossible. What if your family cannot afford to move to a new school district? Also, what if your parents refuse to move or to transfer you? What if your parents can’t afford to home-school you?

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a toxic environment and in a horrible situation. When everyone in the school is bullying you and there’s no way of escaping it, it’s the feeling of entrapment! Just imagine finding yourself in this situation and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t get away from it! You’re just stuck there!

So, What Do You Do?

You embrace the suck. Embracing the suck means that you just grin and bear it. You just accept the god-awful, crappy mess that plagues your life because there’s no other choice. In other words, you’re just plain screwed and there’s no way out of it. You decide to live with it and  make peace with the possibility that things may not get any better. And yes, it sucks!

Sadly, targeted kids are stuck in schools with a toxic culture of bullying. Other classmates attack these kids daily. They attack them psychologically and physically. Teachers and principals view these children unfavorably because bullies have them convinced that the targets are the instigators. Therefore, school staff are constantly watching these young targets, waiting for a reason to drag them into the principal’s office.

These kids suffer from plummeting grades and poor school performance because circumstances force them to live in survival mode. Why? Because preparing for a hostile learning environment takes priority over studying and learning. Therefore, school staff see them as lazy and hopeless and refuse to give them the extra help they need.

Gee! That’s an awful lot of suck!

And how much suck can one child deal with?

Understand that if you’re a child dealing with these types of circumstance, you don’t have to just “embrace the suck.” There’s always School Choice. Nowadays, families can apply for vouchers that allow them to transfer their child to a new school. These vouchers have saved countless targets from years of toxicity. Also, there are other things you can do if, by chance, School Choice isn’t an option where you live:

  • document the bullying and have your parent or legal guardian help you with your documentation.
  • Also, depending on the jurisdiction you live in, hide a body cam or digital device in your backpack or on your person.
  • Thirdly, practice self-care.

And keep the faith. School Choice may not be available in your area now but it doesn’t mean it won’t be later.

You are not completely powerless. Do the above three things because they are the things you have control over. When you document and record the bullying, and practice self-care, not only is it probable that you’ll change the dynamic, but you’ll feel so much better about yourself. You will also feel that you have, at least, some control.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Ways Living in Survival Mode Robs You of Personal Power

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Living in survival mode can make for a hellish life. Sadly, many targets of bullying go through day-to-day life surviving instead of thriving. Not only can it have an impact on your successes with your family, relationships, and opportunities, it can affect your mental and physical health as well.

Personal power isn’t only essential to personal freedom, but also the last vestige of power we have. Without it, we’re completely powerless. So, what are the ways that being in survival mode can rob you of your personal power?

1. It exhausts you both physically and mentally.

And when you’re exhausted, you’re only running on fumes. You need extra sleep and have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. You go into work or school at 8am dreading the day. Your butt drags around like an old, tired dog. You have zero energy, and you constantly feel sluggish. Living off raw adrenaline every day is never good and can cause health problems, such as autoimmune disorders, hypertension, and heart issues.

2. Instead of living, you only exist.

Instead of living a purposeful life, you only go through the motions. You’re being forced by circumstances beyond your control (i.e., bullies and their sycophants) to just get by. You have no chance of reaching your full potential and happiness quotient. And if you feel you can’t reach those levels, you don’t really live.

3. You either don’t have time to think about personal goals or you give up on them altogether.

When you busy living in survival mode, you’ll more than likely give up on your goals. Once you resign yourself, then the goal simply becomes just to survive and get through the day. If you do think about your goals, those goals are only passing thoughts. Or you wish for your goals to materialize.

But here’s the thing about wishing instead of goal setting. Wishing denotes a spirit of lack instead of the spirit of abundance. A spirit of lack only invites more lack to come into your life. Thoughts and feelings become our circumstances. What we think about, if even subconsciously, comes about.

Sadly, getting out of survival mode is a lot easier said than done. So, how do you do it?

Realize that when you’re constantly in survival mode, it usually means that you either live in a toxic environment, work in one, or go to school in one. And where there’s a toxic environment, there are toxic people.

Again, how do you get out of survival mode so you can finally relax and begin to enjoy life?

1. If you can, get out of the environment.

Getting away from the toxic place is a sure-fire way to reduce your stress levels and restore your mental health as well as your personal power. However, some people can’t leave because they have circumstances that prevent them from doing so. So, if you can’t leave, what else can you do?

2. You drawn strength from your faith.

Remember that prayer works. It works wonders.

3. Go for a walk or take a break.

This works wonders as well. Going for a walk or taking a break gives you time away from toxic people and the environment you’re stuck in. Even five minutes of time away can reduce your stress levels. In just doing these things alone, you can exercise your personal power, or what little of it you think you have left. And it feels exhilarating!

Know that you always have a choice, you may not have many of them, but you have at least one choice. Find out what your options are and use them. Only then will you feel a degree of personal freedom and, therefore get out of survival mode, if only temporarily, so that you can finally breathe again.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Doing What Ya Gotta Do is Sometimes Doing What You Wouldn’t Normally Do

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Anytime you’re bullied, you become desperate and will go to any means to take the bad spotlight off yourself. Many times, I would pit a few of my classmates against each other. If I knew of a few who disliked or hated each other, I’d very quietly and slyly pit them against each other.

An offhand comment here, another there, and I’d have them fighting among themselves. Yeah, I know, it was a shady thing to do. However, if I could keep them fighting among themselves, then I could distract their attention and hostility away from me and thus, keep the spotlight away!

Again, when you’re chronically bullied like I was, you’ll do anything and I mean anything to get a nice, albeit short, a reprieve from all the drama. And sometimes, “ya gotta do what ya gotta do” to keep yourself safe- even though it isn’t necessarily the right thing to do.

I understand. You never set out to cause anyone harm. You don’t want to cause discord. However, sometimes you’ll do what you normally wouldn’t do to protect yourself. So, if you have to, keep them too busy fighting each other to even think about you, I completely understand your position. Your only goal is to keep yourself safe!

Sometime later, I’ll give you more detailed pointers on how I did it.
Until next post! Stay safe and stay well!