With your head filled with grandiose thoughts of your own importance
You’re totally oblivious to the severity of your own incompetence
Tag: pompous
Behind The Bully’s Fake Superiority
Instead of putting in the work to improve and better themselves, bullies would rather tear down and destroy another person to look bigger and better than what they are. Understand that bullies never build up, they tear down. They do not create or restore, they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, but they subtract from everything.
Understand that bullies are losers, and they cannot survive in a meritocracy. They have no redeeming characteristics and no real personalities nor qualities. So, in being the weak and pathetic losers they really are, bullies tap into the only power they have left- their last resort, and they make a last-ditch effort to preserve their fragile egos.
They select a person to target and say something mean and hurtful. If that person is you, you’re naturally shocked at first and you feel off balance. Next the shock wears off and you begin feeling the pain in your heart.
If you’re a target, chances are really good that you’re a decent person and you’ve been raised with morals. You’ve been taught to treat others as you yourself would want others to treat you. And like any good person, you won’t be able to understand how or why people would be so mean-spirited and vicious to another person.
After having this happen to you for so long, you wonder, “Was it something I said? Something I did that rubbed them the wrong way?”
You then begin developing negative thoughts because others have made you feel completely worthless and useless. But!
Realize that this is a trap and if you’re not careful, you will fall into the habit of demeaning yourself. Instead, make a promise to yourself and keep it. Promise yourself that you will no longer let someone else define you. Promise yourself that you will no longer let another person decide your worth, that you will never allow other people to decide your successes or failures, or what your capabilities are.
It’ll be hard at first. But make a conscious, intentional, and concerted effort not to value the opinions and insults of a bully. Understand that you have no control over other peoples’ actions, behaviors, nor opinions. If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem, not yours.
Many of my classmates would come out and tell me, “You know what? I’ve got a real problem with you…” They had a problem alright, that much was true. But their problem wasn’t my problem.
Understand that people only look down on you to make themselves look and feel superior, and to bring you down to their level. Realize that people look down on you to conceal their own jealousy, emotional/mental instability, low self-esteem, and insecurity.
Here’s another reason people look down on you. Because it works for them- makes them feel powerful. It works because you give them validity by placing too much value to their opinions. If you didn’t, why else would you give their childish behavior and petty insults any energy at all?
You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. You must see through the facades that bullies put up. And once you do, it will no longer bother you when people look down on you. In fact, you might even see the hilarity in your bullies’ collective fakery, and give them a scoff and a horselaugh as you walk past them. Now that’s the way to take the wind right out of their sails!
Then allow yourself a few chuckles, because, at the end of the day, these people really are quite entertaining- and pathetic.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Arrogant, Narcissistic Bullies- Give Them Enough Rope…
Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.
I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!
Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!
Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.
These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.
But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.
I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing home owners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.
I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!
People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!
I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?).
But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Bullies and Narcissistic Entitlement
Bullies of the narcissistic variety truly believe they’re better than and more important than anyone else. They believe the world revolves around them and owes them. They believe that they deserve better treatment. They think people should favor them and bow down to their every whim. They really have grandiose delusions of themselves, how others are supposed to treat them, and how the world is supposed to work.
Narcissistic bullies will take advantage of others and exploit their weaknesses for their benefit. They have no empathy and have no care how they hurt their targets. They pass unfair and ridiculous judgements on their targets, or anyone they deem inferior.
Narcissists have very fragile egos, and they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them in any way. They put up mental walls to keep threatening messages and info from penetrating their grandiose sense of self-importance and those walls are supported by the insults they hurl at their targets.
(Narcissism as a protective barrier)*
Narcissistic bullies can’t handle social rejection and they react fiercely to people they feel threatened by. Less than perfect evaluations send them into a fury. They protect and re-enforce their grandiose but fragile egos by criticizing any negative evaluations and feedback.
Many narcissistic bullies use grandiosity as a cover-up for their feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, and incompetence. They’re deathly afraid that their shortcomings will be exposed, so, they hurl disparaging remarks and ugly names at others to distract others from their own flaws.
That’s why they need targets to project their own issues of insecurity, fear, and self-loathing. They are really quite pathetic when you stop and think about it.
It’s so easy to see why narcissists are so hateful and hurtful. They need to hurt people to feel better about themselves.
Normal people, especially confident people, don’t feel the need to constantly fire off zingers to intentionally hurt other people. Therefore, they don’t have to have a target because they have a healthy sense of self.
No. People who are truly confident and not narcissists like to get along with everyone and enjoy seeing others happy. They have a love for other people and empathy for those who are hurting.
While narcissists degrade others and need a target, healthy and confident people have a more favorable view of everyone, including people who are targets of bullying. Confident people who love themselves do not need to put others down.
On the other hand, a narcissist feels that the only way they can love themselves is to put others down- including those who aren’t necessarily a threat to their grandiose views of themselves.
Narcissists feel their value comes from having power, riches, good looks, and popularity. Whereas, confident people get theirs from having healthy relationships with the people who mean the most to them and from having positive experiences with them.
And these are the differences between narcissists and people who are truly confident.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Bullies Who Bully People for Superficial Reasons
Many people think their superior to those who make less income than they do. Oakley, TN was and still has many of those who have that attitude, unfortunately. Don’t let me wrong, not all of the people in the town are like this.
There are several people there who are down to earth, friendly, and don’t care about those things if you treat people well- if they like you, they like you no matter what your station in life is. However, the true, authentic people seem to be vastly outnumbered by the superficial bullies there.
There have been many occasions when I’ve seen waitresses in a restaurant being treated like dirt by fat cats and fake fat cats who never tip them and talk terrible to them. I’ve seen janitors and custodians degraded by other employees in a few workplaces I’ve been employed at, by other employees who were in higher positions. And many of these menial workers were awesome people with hearts of gold.
Yes, bullies treated these people like cockroaches they wanted to exterminate.
I’ve also seen these bullies bully people who were less attractive. I’ve witnessed bullying of people over the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the family they come from, etc.
Understand that when people value material possessions more than they do people, they don’t think that material possessions can be lost so easily.
They don’t think about the fact that they could end up in a car accident and lose their ability to work. Their so-called riches may all go to hospital bills. Then what will they have? If you define yourself by the possessions you have, what happens if you lose it all?
But! That’s not the only problem they’re have. Others will also remember how these bullies treated them and not care to help them. And their materialistic and smug friends who hung around them because of what they had? They’ll only discard them like yesterday’s garbage because once they’re broke and disabled, their high-flying friends will have no more use for them.
Bullies who bully you because you’re less attractive. I’ve seen some “beautiful people” mistreat those who are average-looking. Their arrogance is out of this world because they never stop to think that beauty is fleeting- it always fades over time. Let’s face it, we’ll all end up old, toothless, and ugly if we live long enough.
Judge Judy Sheindlin had a point when she stated that, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.” And I would much rather be ugly and smart than beautiful and stupid. Intelligence lasts longer!
And what happens if they get disfigured in an accident?
What happens if they end up bullying the wrong person? Perhaps some psycho nut-bag who ends up sneaking up behind them, calling out their name, and throwing a bucket of acid in their face as soon as they turn around, or slashing their face with a box-cutter?
Though I would never condone such a sick and depraved act, I have enough sense to realize that this has happened before and still does. We can’t deny that such crazy, messed up, and vengeful people exist, and you never know who’s a raving lunatic and who isn’t.
And here’s another thing about material possessions and riches. At the end of the day, you can’t take any of it with you when you go. So, what do you have?
Sure, those things are wonderful to have, and I sure wouldn’t mind having a million dollars. Who would? But just because you have those things don’t mean you bully those who don’t because you don’t know what they must go through to get what they do have.
Again, you can’t take it with you when you go. When it’s all said and done, the only thing any of us will have, is a rock and a hole in the ground.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Never Pay a Bully a Compliment. Ever!
Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed up type, get their boots licked enough.
They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Compliments should only be handed out only to people who deserve them.
I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.
I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.
However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,
“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”
You can imagine how heartbroken I was.
guilt concept – unhappy young sporty man showing his throat with gun-like hands for sign of low self-esteem, textured effects
Although few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart, a bully will only take it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also see it as the fulfillment of their expectation that you’re willing to suck up to them.
A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost and an opportunity to rake your dignity over the coals because they’re used to having the other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.
Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.
They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression, and you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.
Bullies with Social Capital Are the Most Destructive- What You Can Do to Minimize the Damage
These are the bullies with the most social connections and friends in high places- the bullies well thought of (or well-feared) by a vast majority in a school, workplace, neighborhood, or community. They can be the “cool kids” at school or the “Good Ol’ Boy” clique at work or in town. These bullies can also be local politicians and businessmen or members of certain well-known families in a particular area.
Although money does help, these people don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known people who were quite poor who had these types of relationships as well. What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people, which is why bullies in these select groups are especially dangerous and can do the most damage to a target.
These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships to re-enforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing. In many cases, they already have close and well-established ties, which go back several years.
These relationships ensure that the bullies are well-protected and above reproach. Worst of all, they also give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity. These are the types who will watch you closely.
These bullies know they have good name recognition, and they take advantage of it. Any time a bully has a ton of social capital, others will not risk alienating them for fear of being the next target. And chances are that if they target you, their followers, who are secondary bullies, will only follow their lead.
Social Capital
In short, bullies can weaponize their connections and popularity!
This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior and can do anything they want to anyone. And they will take full advantage. If you become a target of one of these people, they will use their connections and influence to destroy every aspect of your life. Also, they’ll never stop coming after you.
Understand that these bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing. Their names alone carry much weight behind them. They have trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors which promote unity and strengthen their group. When one of these people says something, others, even those outside their circle of connections, are more likely to listen attentively and take their word as fact!
I call these people “sacred cows” because they have such power and influence in a school, corporation, or community that they’re perceived as not to be questioned nor spoken against, even if they’re in the wrong.
With sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them, they may even hate them, but you can be sure that they fear them. So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.
With that said, if you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns, and others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and blacklist you, robbing you of any opportunity to find other means of employment.
These people can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. If you own a business, they can either discourage customers from patronizong it or have their worker bees to set fire to and burn it down altogether. And don’t put it past these bullies to trump up false criminal charges against you, set you up to be arrested, or send henchmen to either visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.
Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity, and you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.
But here are a few things you can do to lessen the trauma these powerful bullies can cause and build your own social capital.
A macho man standing crossed arms near-luxury open-top car in tropical resort isometric image vector illustration
1. Befriend and align yourself with other targets because you can be sure that you aren’t the only one these bullies torment.
2. If you can find people who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but whom the bullies ousted for whatever reason, that’s even better! These people would be the ones who have private and sensitive info about each of the bullies and their sycophants. They’ll more than likely be looking for a little payback and only too happy to give you the deets!
3. Establish tight connections with your fellow targets and with the former members whom the bullies booted out of the “social club” or double-crossed. Band together with them because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.
4. Pal around with or eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with these targets and outcasts and with as many of them as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!
5. The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better!
6. Important!!! Always have their backs and make sure they have yours!
7. Make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If need be and all else fails, move to a new area.
8. Tell no one of your plans, where your new job is, your address, or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!
Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!
Narcissistic Bullies – Just Give Them Plenty of Rope
Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.
I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!
Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!
Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers
Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.
These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.
But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.
I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing homeowners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.
Illustration 30377469 © Alain Lacroix – Dreamstime.com
I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!
People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!
A selfish businessman clings to a balloon called the ego, and a big hand with a needle intends to burst it. Conceptual scene the higher you fly, the harder they fall
I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?.
But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end. Always remember that.