‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.
If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.
However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.
Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.
This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.
Inside the mind of a bully
Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.
Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.
Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.
Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.
A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.
Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.
Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.
It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.
Inside the Mind of a Bully:
In their minds, you owe them respect
And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.
The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.
In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.
From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.
Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.
This is the mentality of bullies.
The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.
Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.
“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”
In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!
You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.
When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.
They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.
Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.
Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.
Inside the mind of a bully:
Most bullies are relentless.
Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.
Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.
Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.
Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.
‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.
However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!
This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.
Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.
Do bullies know they’re Bullies?
In most cases, YES!
Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.
The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.
Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.
Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!
Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.
Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!
In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!
Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!
Inside the mind of a Bully:
What to expect
Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.
1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.
In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.
2. Pit your friends against you.
If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.
Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.
Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.
However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.
Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!
3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:
Send henchmen to physically harm you.
If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.
They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.
Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.
Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.
Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.
when and where does it stop?
It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.
Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.
I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.
Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.
If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.
If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.
And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.
This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You
3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense
4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone
You describe the mind of a bully ever so perfectly!
Thank you so much, Michael! This means a lot!