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What Can You Learn from Bullying? 17 Powerful Takeaways

What can you learn from bullying? There are several things it will teach you, and you can find those life-lessons right here. However, you may not recognize the lessons until after the bullying ends and you become a survivor.

what can you learn from bullying

Bullying hurts, don’t get me wrong. It can be traumatic for many victims. However, there are takeaways you can get from it if you look for them.

In this post, you will learn the answers to the sometimes-asked question, “What can you learn from bullying?”

Once you learn about all these takeaways, you can feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will be proud of yourself because you survived! More importantly, you overcame.

What can you learn from bullying? This post will give you all the answers.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullying sucks! I will be the first to agree with you. In fact, that’s the understatement of the century. Bullying is horrible.

However, as Katy Perry sang, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

You would be amazed at what you can learn from bullies. This may sound a bit strange to some. However, bullies can teach you a great deal about human nature and the evils of the world.

Yes, they can hurt you, but they can also teach you some of the most powerful life lessons. If you were ever a victim of bullying, it more than likely did the same for you.

It’s hard to look for the silver lining while bullies are bullying you. However, things change once you get away from your bullies, and the torment is over.

You regain a renewed sense of hope. Moreover, you see so much more clearly the lessons in what you had to endure.

So, what are the takeaways?

1. Bullying Teaches you how to detect bullshit.

Bullying can give you a finely tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. If you’ve dealt with bullies and bullying long enough, you learn very quickly how to spot liars and fakes before you even talk to them.

And you learn it because your survival depends on it. I’m not only speaking from my own experiences. I’ve also heard the same from other survivors of bullying.

When you have experienced bullying, especially long-term, it has a way of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people. Moreover, you can figure out their true motives and intentions.

All you have to do is carefully observe a large group. Then you can spot the fakes and troublemakers at lightning speed and with accuracy.

As for me, I don’t have to speak a word to anyone. All I have to do is stand back and watch.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

When It’s a matter of survival, your brain learns something quickly and to near perfection.

For example, a person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. It’s the same with a victim or survivor of bullying.

They quickly grow the ability to read people like newspapers. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many survivors can read body language like an FBI agent.

They can decipher the tiniest micro-expression. In fact, they can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones.

When a specific skill is mandatory for your survival, nature gives you no choice but to hone that skill and use it to near perfection.

I consider this sixth sense to be a gift. And, this gift came at a heavy price. However, it was worth it in the end because it made me a better judge of character.

2. Compassion for the Underdog.

When you know what it is to be a victim of bullying, it teaches you empathy and compassion for others- especially the downtrodden.

You’ll more likely reach out and protect those who are bullied because you were there once. And you can’t stand the thought of anyone else enduring such pain.

Therefore, you make a point of extending kindness. And you do it primarily to people whom others have unjustly marginalized and misjudged.

As for me, I believe in spreading the same kindness to the janitor as I would to the CEO.

3. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Greater Appreciation for those who love you.

Because you know what it is to be mistreated and alone, you never take anyone for granted. I’m no longer a victim of bullying. However, I have an awesome family and the most positive, fun circle of friends you’d ever want to meet.

And the same will be for you. When you’ve known what it’s like to be excluded and isolated, you don’t take your familial relationships or friendships for granted.

You make a point of being loyal to all of them. And you’ll stand behind them when the chips are down.

In fact, you consider your family, blood, and non-blood, wonderful blessings to your life. And you cherish them.

4. Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate.

After you’ve been bullied, you know never to be afraid to say “no.” You learn very quickly that it is crucial to set boundaries, or others will walk all over you.

And you find that out the hard way. Moreover, you learn that sometimes, even if you do, there will be those who will challenge those boundaries.

But you know to stay firm no matter what. You might be retaliated against for it, but at least you’ll feel better later. Knowing that you stood up for yourself gives you untold confidence.

As the old saying goes, “I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”
Finding the lessons in bullying will make you a happier person later on. It did me!

Therefore, you will stand up to bullies without guilt. Why? Because you know that it’s okay to defend yourself when someone is harming you.

5. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullies can give you the dogged determination to go after what you want in life.

Bullying can teach you to go after your goals and dreams. If there’s anything you want in life, you go after it.

Therefore, you work hard for what you want because you’ve gotten enough of what you don’t want. Being bullied can give you the tenacity to reach your goals and dreams.

As a result, you will make several accomplishments.  Moreover, these accomplishments would not have been possible if you had never experienced bullying.

If you let it, bullying will only fuel your motivation to achieve more and live a happy life. Therefore, instead of holding grudges against your bullies, use them as your drive to reach heights you never thought possible!

Happiness and success are the best revenge you can ever take.

6. A passion to help OTHER victims overcome bullying.

It puts you on a mission to tell your own story and speak out against injustice. Because you know what it’s like, you strive more to help others overcome bullying and abuse.

7. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

You learn the importance of self-care.

When you’re bullied, you learn the hard way that if you don’t love yourself, no one else will either. So, you make a point of taking care of yourself and treating yourself kindly.

Moreover, you treat yourself well by allowing others to treat you well. You do so by what you tolerate, and those you let into your life.

And you reinforce that by not being afraid to walk away if someone doesn’t treat you well.

8. you realize the importance of loving yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin.

You learn the importance of putting yourself first. No matter what anyone thinks or says, you continue to be true to yourself and to be yourself.

You don’t let bullies distort your self-esteem. Moreover, you don’t allow them to tell you “it isn’t cool” if there’s something you enjoy doing.

Instead, you take care of yourself and stand up for yourself. You do what fulfills you and makes you happy, and forget the rest.

Confidence and self-love are the most important things you can have. Those two qualities will give you the determination to love yourself and pursue what you want in life.

9. A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior.

Even now, I read every book about human psychology and behavior I can get my hands on. Being bullied lights a fire under you.

It gives you the desire to learn about human psychology and behavior, so you never become a victim again.

10. What Can You Learn from Bullying:

The will to protect other victims of bullying.

You’ll stand up for others who are being bullied. Again, because you know what it’s like to be mistreated, you wouldn’t want to see anyone else endure what you have.

Therefore, you take every opportunity to be someone’s hero and friend for life. This is one of the greatest lessons bullying can teach you.

11. To live life on your terms.

If nothing else, know this! You do not need anyone else’s permission to live your life the way you want. From the way you dress to the decisions you make, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, you can do as you please.

No one has the right to tell you what your lifestyle should be, how you dress, or when you speak. Therefore, you must exercise your autonomy daily to overcome bullying.

Your life is yours. Live it the way you choose.

12. It makes you selective of who you allow in your life.

Being selective means avoiding people who bring you drama. And if you look closely, you will know which people to avoid.

For instance, if you see people gossiping about someone, they will eventually talk about you. You know this. Therefore, you don’t need or want these kinds in your life.

Therefore, you will have the courage to get rid of toxic people without guilt or apology. You also forgive, but you do so without being foolish.

13. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That everyone, even bullies, HAS problems.

You quickly learn that bullies always put on a front of having a perfect life. They use arrogance and cockiness to mask their feelings of inferiority.

I say this from experience because many of my bullies had alcoholic fathers. Many had drug-addicted mothers. Others had fathers who cheated on or beat their mothers.

Many of my classmates were being raised by single mothers who had a different man in their beds every night. Others had parents who neglected them and older siblings who abused them.

Several had a parent dealing drugs or one who was in and out of jail. Also, many had been sexually abused.

So, it was no wonder most of my classmates were so full of piss and vinegar?

14. To grow a thick skin.

Have you ever noticed how redundant bullies are? And have you noticed how they repeat the same worn-out insults?

It’s true that the crap they talk can hurt and hurt badly. However, bullies can repeat the same rubbish for so long that eventually, it loses its meaning.

And when something loses its meaning, it also loses its effectiveness. You get to a point where you don’t care what they call you anymore. Then, the taunts get boring, and your bullies become one big yawn.

15. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

The evils humans are capable of.

People can be the cruelest of all living things. Not everyone is inherently good. Being bullied teaches you to be on the lookout for those who secretly wish to harm your loved ones or you.

You learn to watch for enemies disguised as friends. Moreover, it teaches you to pay close attention to body language, expressions, and microflashes.

When you are the victim of bullying, you see the darkest side of humanity possible if you’re unlucky enough. You see things that those who aren’t targets would never see. And they will be things you won’t forget.

My classmates showed me the darkest and ugliest sides of human nature.

16. It teaches you the kind of person you never want to be.

You will watch bullies act arrogantly. You will also see them being loud and obnoxious. As a result, it will be a huge turn-off to you, and you will be glad you aren’t them.

It may not seem this way now. But it will later. I guarantee it!

17. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That you are responsible for your own safety.

I learned early on that I was the only person responsible for my own safety, success, and future happiness, no one else! And I had to be willing to do whatever it took to bootstrap my way back up.

And it was the same with my other siblings. There were no freebies nor piggyback rides. The school didn’t help me. No one was coming to rescue me. So, I had to learn to stand up for myself.

Realize that no one is coming to rescue you. When bullies come after you, it’s up to you to defend yourself.

In closing, here is a quick summary of what bullying can teach you.

Life Lessons from Bullying:

Quick Summary

  • How to detect bullshit
  • Compassion for the underdog
  • Greater appreciation of the people who love you
  • Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate
  • Dogged determination to go after what you want in life
  • A passion to help other victims overcome bullying
  • A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior
  • The will to protect other victims of bullying
  • The courage to get rid of toxic people and live life on your terms
  • It makes you selective of who you allow in your life
  • That everyone, even bullies, has problems
  • To grow a thick skin
  • The evils humans are capable of
  • The kind of person you don’t want to be
  • That you are responsible for your own safety

Being the object of bullies is never fun. But if you look for the lessons in it, it can teach you so much. It gives you so many lessons about the messed-up world we live in.

Moreover, it teaches you about the dark side of human nature. And you learn to keep the faith and believe in yourself. You learn to love yourself and appreciate the people who love you.

You also gain the willingness to stand up for the people who aren’t able to defend themselves.
Know that you have the power to turn the abuse you suffer around for good. That’s what adult survivors of bullying do.

You can also turn the negatives into positives. Your pain today can become your power tomorrow! I guarantee it! Here are several other life lessons you can learn HERE.

What can you learn from bullying? This post gave you the answers so that you can look for the lessons and, most of all, feel better about yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overcome 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

3. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

4. The Importance of Forgiveness

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

bullying techniques psychology

Bullying Techniques: 5 Top Sneakiest Tactics

‘Want to know the cleverest bullying techniques seasoned bullies use? Here are the top sneakiest tactics you need to be aware of.

bullying techniques

Let’s face it, most bullies are masters at what they do. They know better than to mistreat you directly. Instead, they use subtle tactics to get you. This is why they mostly go undetected and get away with their attacks.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the sneakiest bullying techniques bullies use to fly under the radar.

Once you learn about these covert assaults, you will be better able to recognize them and call them out when you see them.

This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques, so you can recognize them and better defend yourself against them.

Bullying Techniques

So, let’s dive right in. What are the covert tactics that you need to be aware of? Here is a list of them below.

1. ordering you around.

Many bullies constantly boss you around. But understand what this is. It’s a power game. They order you around to exert power over you and feel superior.

They may tell you to sit down, shut up. I speak from experience because my classmates did the same to me every day. But again, you must see the goals and intentions behind these orders.

The reason they tell you to sit down or shut up is to take power over you. Moreover, they want to feel superior by making you small. They also want to undermine your confidence.

Therefore, you should never give in to their demands, no matter what. Never follow their unwarranted orders. I know, I’m one to speak because many times, years ago, I caved in.

However, knowing what I know now, I’d take a beating before I’d give in to them. Why? Because I realize that I’d more than likely take a beating anyway.

2. Bullying Techniques:

Empty promises, false incentives, and veiled threats.

Bullies may sweet-talk you into doing things you don’t want to do. To sweeten the deal, they may give you empty promises and false incentives.

Then, when you give them what they want, they don’t honor their promises. As a result, they only laugh and go back to treating you like dirt. Moreover, you feel like a total idiot for believing them.

Or, bullies may threaten you with even more abuse if you don’t do what they want. They may threaten to exclude you. Or they may tell you that the abuse will only get worse. However, here’s something to think about:

You can’t lose something you never had. Your bullies already hate you, and they already want to hurt you. So, you can’t lose any points with them because you never had them in the first place.

Therefore, you must refuse to give them what they want, no matter how they react.

3. Bullying Techniques:

Tattling on You.

This is one of the most evil techniques. Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales.

They often tattle for even the tiniest of infractions. And, if they cannot find anything to tell, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will ensure it’s believable.

These kinds of people work as little Gestapos. Your bullies will watch you closely. They’ll wait with bated breath for you to do or say something- anything that is against the rules.

Then, they’ll run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager. Here are the reasons they use this technique.

  • To gain the moral high ground.
  • To feel superior.
  • They feel entitled.
  • To impress those in authority.
  • To ruin your reputation with those in authority.
  • They want to set you up for future bullying.
  • To silence you.
  • To take attention away from their own bad behavior.

A deeper explanation of these kinds of bullying techniques

Bullies feel entitled to see that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

However, the reality is that everyone is free to do as they wish, everyone, except you. They only tattle on you. Why? To keep you from being able to defend yourself or report any bullying in the future.

Think about it. All your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They can then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported.

After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker?

If enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many pointing the finger at you?” Right?

Bullying Techniques:

Think of this as a game of chess.

By tattling, these bullies are setting up a system that will discredit you. In that case, they’ll leave you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it.

Tattling is also a way to silence you. Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’ll find it easier just to keep your mouth shut.

Bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Why? Because once you’re completely powerless, they won’t need to hide it. They can bully you openly and in plain sight.

And who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a riffraff! And they aren’t bullying you; they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

In other words, you’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. And the staff can’t be everywhere at once.

The tattle-tales serve as extra pairs of eyes that help the staff do their jobs. Therefore, they’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

These Bullying Techniques are planned ahead of time.

Tattling is a tactic that can eventually block you from any help you’d otherwise receive. Afterwards, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly. Then, the bullies are virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic and protect yourself.

3. Imposing Standards, then moving the goalposts.

Understand that bullies will always judge you, and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation.

You won’t need to do anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something. Moreover, your mere presence will provoke their attacks.

But, realize this. They hurl personal attacks strictly to control you. That’s right. Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more.

Moreover, those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies won’t accept you, no matter what you do. And any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Bullying Techniques:

It’s all About power!

How many attempts are you willing to make to satisfy these bullies before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that conforming does no good?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these creeps aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will lose respect for you. The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you.

In other words, you teach others how to treat you by what you put up with. And when you conform to others’ standards, you only discard your own.

4. Giving Unsolicited Advice.

This technique is used to disguise bullying as being helpful. Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice. However, they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.

They try to advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict.

These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they? However, I want you to understand why bullies do this.

They do it to give their audience the impression that they are more intelligent than you. Bullies don’t give free advice to help you. They do it to help themselves.

Bullying Techniques:

You Don’t Need their Cheap Two Cents.

You counter this by realizing that the weight a person’s opinion carries depends on who they are. Put another way, the people who are the closest to you are those whose opinions have value.

These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse, your dearest family and friends.

In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, or anyone who uses and abuses you should carry the least weight. We should never value the opinions or judgments of bullies. Ever!

Never Give Value to Anything that Has None.

Opinions are like elbows, and everyone has one. But the value of an opinion must always be determined by where it comes from and the relationship you have.

Therefore, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration. Discard any unsolicited advice from anyone who hasn’t earned your respect. When you do, you keep your power and your dignity.

For more information about opinions, see this post.

5. Bullying Techniques:

Sowing Discord between You and Other People.

Another classic tactic of bullies is to tell you how “everyone” talks about you. They may also tell you that this person doesn’t like you or that person hates your guts.

But make no mistake. When bullies do this, they aren’t trying to warn you, and they don’t have your best interests at heart.

What they’re trying to do is break your confidence. They want to make you insecure and feel like you aren’t wanted and don’t belong.

They pull this classic divide-and-conquer move to throw you off balance. Their goals are to destabilize you and make you look like you’re suffering from paranoia.

Why? Because if your bullies can make you suspicious of those around you, then you’ll eventually lose trust in people, and your relationships will suffer.

And if your relationships suffer, so too will your performance, your ability to make good decisions, and your ability to think clearly and rationally. This is precisely what the bullies are counting on.

In closing

Bullies are slick. Therefore, they use covert techniques to trick you into believing they mean well when they really don’t. These are only some of the tactics covert bullies use.

The real number of tactics is too many to list in one blog post. However, for a broader list of covert bullying tactics, click HERE.

 This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques that smart bullies use so that you will recognize them when THEY HAPPEN to you and defend yourself properly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

4. Covert Bullying Examples: 7 Must-Know Tactics Covert Bullies Use 

5. Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know 

know your worth lyrics

Know Your Worth: 4 Reasons It’s Important

, ‘Want to know why you should know your worth? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

know your worth

Bullying is hurtful, no matter how confident you are. We’re all human, and we all have feelings and emotions. However, the effects are even more damaging when we look only outside ourselves for our value.

In fact, the damage to self-esteem is exponentially more serious. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you must know your worth.

Once you know all about these facts, you will realize that true worth comes from within. Then you will do the inner work you need to do.

This post outlines the reasons you should know your worth and how to begin today.

Know Your Worth

Your worth must come from inside you. Why? Because when you look outside of yourself for your value, you automatically look to others to give it to you. And when you do this, you put yourself at their mercy.

Therefore, to know your worth is the foundation of confidence and healthy self-esteem. Understand that your worth comes from within and never from without.

Here’s Why.

1. You can never control the Atmosphere around you.

There will be times when you find yourself in a toxic environment. Moreover, you will be surrounded by poisonous people. Toxic people are everywhere.

They can frequent the school you attend, the company you work for, or the home or neighborhood you live in.

When you know your value and let it come from the inside, bullying won’t have such an impact on you. It will hurt, yes. But it won’t be nearly as devastating.

Additionally, you won’t suppress as much of yourself to fit in. Why? Because, deep down, you’ll already know the value you bring. And you’ll realize that the negative people around you are only trying to diminish you.

Then, you will be more determined not to let them. You will do what you must to maintain your self-worth despite their behavior.

Know Your Worth:

Sometimes it’s best to walk away from toxic people.

Also, when the crap gets too thick, you’ll know when it’s time to walk away. You’ll bail out of relationships that don’t fulfill you. Why? Because you’ll realize that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Therefore, you’ll know that you’re better off leaving this cesspit and moving on to greener pastures.

Moreover,  you’ll do it without feeling guilty. You’ll do it knowing that it isn’t because you’re “chicken” or “running away from your problems” but because you deserve better.

You’ll have the courage to do what’s best for you and you won’t care if they like it or not.

2. You can never control others’ behavior and how they think of you.

This is another reason it’s never advisable to rely on others’ approval. Understand that there will always be people who don’t like you and some who even hate you.

When you depend solely on others’ approval, you become a doormat. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your mental health, don’t give anyone that kind of power!

When your value comes from within, you will have respect for yourself. You will love yourself and have strong self-esteem. Also, you will give yourself compassion and care when others take potshots at you.

And you will have the confidence and courage to protect yourself and stand up to abuse. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to blame yourself for their behavior.

Why? Because you will know without a shadow of a doubt that they are the ones who have the issues and not you.

Realize that everyone serves a good and higher purpose here. You may or may not know what that purpose is, but you are here for a purpose.

Find that purpose and fulfill it. And know that you have value.

3. Know Your Worth:

You’re better able to withstand bullying attacks.

When people target you for bullying, loving yourself can be very difficult. How do you know your worth when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks, even for a short time, makes life more complicated than it needs to be.

However, over time, bullying can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that others tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may behave, you must do everything possible to hold on to your worth! Even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

Loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some difficult decisions to earn that love and respect.

Again, sometimes, you have to walk away. And you must do it, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth.

And this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

Know Your Worth:

self-love sometimes means making difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. They may eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

However, if it does not happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect you know you deserve.

Again, you must love yourself, or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

the movie “good will hunting” can teach you a valuable lesson about worth.

When I watched the movie “Good Will Hunting” for the first time almost thirty years ago, the character Will Hunting reminded me of myself in high school. He was bullied, angry, lashing out at people, and would fight at the drop of a hat if someone stepped on his toes.

I wasn’t a genius like he was. But still, there’s a moral to the movie.

Will, although highly intelligent and talented, had been conditioned to think he was worth less than he was. Therefore, he worked as a college janitor at the beginning of the movie.

With his smarts, Will could have any job he wanted. Only, he didn’t know it.

Because Will had a difficult start in life, he had lost sight of his self-worth. The character, Will Hunting, learned the hard way that you must know your worth to be happy and have a good life.

Therefore, know that you have value and that you matter. And if you’re blind to that, you’ll never be successful at anything.

4. If you don’t know your worth, you won’t reach your potential.

You’ll end up settling for less than you deserve. As a result, you’ll sell yourself out in every area of life.

For example, you’ll settle for crummy, dead-end jobs that pay a pittance. Also, you’ll accept dates and partners you aren’t even remotely interested in. And you’ll latch onto fake friends who treat you shoddily.

One thing Will did have is great friends who had his back. Those guys would’ve laid down their lives for him.  So, I can say that Will chose his buddies wisely.

But in every other area of life, he sold himself short. And his best friend finally told him that, in so many words, toward the end of the movie.

As the old saying goes, “If you settle for less, you get even less than what you settled for.”

I hate to admit that I did the same when I was young. And I got even worse than what I settled for. And why did I do that?

It was all because others had programmed me to believe that mere crumbs were the best I could do. And let me tell you, it royally sucked!

That’s what happens if you don’t know your worth.

Fortunately, I eventually worked my way out of that mindset. I now live a better and happier life.

It wasn’t easy, but it got better once I began drumming into my own head that there was more out there for me and that I deserved a good life as much as anyone else.

Will Hunting also got the message at the end of the movie. He eventually recognized his value and found the courage to pursue the life he wanted.

In closing:

Your worth is not conditional. And it is not up for debate. So, isn’t it time you started getting more of what you want and deserve out of life?

Make the decision today to know your worth. Begin aiming higher! Apply for that 90K per year job you may or may not qualify for.

Go ask out the girl whom you initially thought was out of your league. Command respect and love from others and return the same to them.

Aim higher than you ever have, and watch your life change for the better. You will be amazed at the rewards!

This post is all about the importance of knowing your worth so that you can begin taking steps to empower yourself and better your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.  A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

2. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

3. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends

5. Standing Against Bullying: 3 Reasons It’s Worth the Risk

resilience quotes

Resilience: 16 Ways to Stand Tall When You Suffer Bullying

‘What is resilience? Here’s what it is and how it helps you overcome bullying.

resilience

Resilience is essential for overcoming bullying. In fact, it’s how you defeat any adversity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can overcome anything that tries to bring you down.

Once you learn these critical life lessons, you will be able to overcome any challenges you face.

This post is about resilience, to assure you that you still have some control over your circumstances.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity quickly. You may bend, but you don’t break. So, how do you stay resilient?

Here are all the ways to do it.

1. By Knowing Yourself

When you know yourself inside and out, you know, without a doubt, the definition of who you are. In other words, you won’t allow bullies and abusers to define you.

Instead, you only accept your own definition of yourself. And you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you can recognize abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it. Moreover, your self-esteem won’t take such a massive hit.

Knowing yourself is freedom!

2. Know what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate.

Refuse to accept what you won’t tolerate. Focus on your wants and needs and work hard to achieve them. This means working on yourself. Moreover, it means working toward your goals and your aspirations.

This is of the utmost importance. Why? Because when you’re too busy working on yourself, you won’t pay attention to your bullies. You’ll care less about anyone’s opinions other than your own.

3. Resilience:

trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Here’s a little nugget you should know: your first instinct is usually the correct one.

For instance, any time you have bullies shaming and ridiculing you, your first instinct is to get away from them. However, when they see you’re leaving, they may mock you.

They may say, “Are you scared? Is that why you’re leaving? Don’t be a wuss. Stand up and face us.” They may even tell you, “You’d better run!”

You’re not afraid to put your hand up and walk away when toxic people accost you. Why? Because you don’t have time for foolishness and drama.

Sure. The taunts might sting a little, but they won’t crush your spirit.

4. Practice speaking out and showing your emotions.

Resilience means that you won’t feel the need to hold back emotions. You’ll be able to recognize them better and allow yourself to feel them. In some situations, it may be okay to express them.

Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Never allow bullies to shame you into suppressing yourself.

You wouldn’t want to break down crying in front of everyone at school because a bully called you a name. Instead, you’d show annoyance and tell the bully to get stuffed.

Also, you wouldn’t cry publicly at work because the boss chewed you out or your project fell flat. You’d just stick out your chest and try to do better the next time.

However, you would cry at the funeral of a loved one. In fact, during those times, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry.

5. Resilience:

be yourself.

Know that you don’t have to put on a big front and try to act like someone you’re not. There’s no need to try to fit in with anyone. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.

When you’re willing to be yourself, you know your worth. You accept that you are valuable, regardless of what people say or where you are in life.

Those who aren’t authentic will follow the crowd and try to fit in. People who are insecure about themselves will accept others’ definitions of them without realizing it.

They build fake identities based on others’ expectations and ideas of who they should be. But not you. You are true to who you are.

You would rather be original because you understand that originals are like famous paintings and artwork. They’re much more valuable than copies. Therefore, you refuse to be a cheap knock-off!

6. Refuse to blame yourself for others’ behavior.

Realize that other people’s behavior is no reflection on you. It only speaks volumes about their own lack of morals, decency, and character.

Know that what your bullies do to you is wrong. Now, this inner realization may or may not stop them from attacking you. In fact, it may make the abuse worse.

However, instead of hating and blaming yourself, know in your heart that they are the bad ones. Realize that they’re only projecting their own shortcomings onto you. A bully’s accusation is usually a confession.

7. Resilience:

trust your gut.

Listen to what your gut tells you. Pay close attention to the vibes you’re getting from the people around you. The energy people put out never lies.

This is how you maintain your inner strength and sense of self. It takes listening to your instincts when they signal that you should be cautious around certain people.

And don’t be ashamed of it. Instead, pay close attention to how your body reacts when you’re around certain people. You may not be able to pinpoint it. And you may not know why you’re having these yucky bodily sensations.

However, you must still pay attention to what you’re feeling.

  • Does your body automatically tense up?
  • Do you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach?
  • Does something feel off about the person or people you’re with?

If so, know that any one of these symptoms is your cue to get away from these people… and fast!

8. Resilience:

Be Confident.

When you’re being bullied by everyone, holding onto your confidence can be challenging. And that’s putting it mildly. Moreover, after being bullied, it can sometimes take years to regain the confidence you lost.

However, there are steps you can take to buffer your confidence and mitigate the impact of their attacks. Here’s a shortlist of ways to build your confidence.

  • Watch and listen.
  • Know that you aren’t the only one these creeps have bullied.
  • Befriend others your bullies have bullied.
  • Collect info on your bullies.
  • Keep company only with those who love you and want the best for you.
  • Show off your talents and gifts.
  • Do the things you enjoy.
  • Be there for others who are suffering.
  • Look your best.
  • Make positive affirmations.
  • Find someone to talk to about what you’re going through.
  • Never internalize any labels others stick to you.
  • Stop caring about others’ opinions.
  • Don’t be silent. Speak out!

If your confidence wanes, so does your performance, social abilities, and everything else! Therefore, guard it with your life. Why? Because your life truly does depend on it!

9. If you have a negative mindset, work to change it.

If people bully you at school or at work, you’re more likely to feel insecure. Moreover, you’ll have a horribly negative outlook. Therefore, it will require significant reprogramming to change.

Also, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is easy to change certain things about yourself. However, changing ingrained thought patterns is one of the most challenging tasks. And it won’t happen overnight.

Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.

However, once you start, you will gradually notice a positive difference in your outlook. Additionally, your circumstances will improve.

10. Resilience:

Turn Every negative thought into a positive thought.

For instance, you have a test or an interview coming up, and you ask yourself, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t make it?”

Immediately catch yourself. Then, turn that thought into a positive one by asking yourself, “What if I pass?” “What if I succeed?” or “What if I do make it?”

Or, if you find yourself thinking, “What if things go wrong?” Immediately turn it around and ask, “What if things go right?”

Also, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re a loser. Tell yourself, “No. I’m a winner.”

And talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Instead of putting yourself down, begin building yourself up. Encourage yourself to keep going when things get tough. Give yourself the love you would give to your family and best friends.

Continue doing this until thinking positively becomes like second nature!

11. Maximize your chance-opportunities.

If you’re talented in writing and you find a writing contest, enter the contest. In other words, instead of letting this opportunity pass you by because you’re too afraid that you’ll lose, face your fears and enter the contest anyway.

And you never can tell. You might win that contest! The point I’m making here is to try! Because if you don’t try, you don’t know. Put another way, if you try, you at least have a good chance of winning. However, if you don’t, there’s no chance of it.

Therefore, taking risks is crucial to achieving positive change in your life.

12. Resilience:

Get out of your comfort zone.

This brings us back to what we mentioned in the last section, taking risks. Resilient people take risks. And because they take risks, they score many successes.

This isn’t to say you’ll succeed every time; you won’t. Even resilient people fail sometimes. However, they don’t let failure stop them.

They do not give up. Instead, they move on to the next opportunity and keep trying until they succeed.

Remember the line in Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

In other words, the resilient get hit all the time, but they keep going. They continue to take risks and don’t stop until they reach their target. And that’s how they win! So, don’t be afraid to take risks!

13. Set goals and work hard to achieve them.

Set goals and go after them. Work hard and don’t quit until you achieve those goals. Moreover, never let bullies and jealous people discourage you.

Why? Because if word gets out that you’re working on a goal, there will be those who will do everything possible to discourage you. And this goes especially if you suffer from bullying. Therefore, keep striving and don’t stop until you reach the finish line.

14. Resilience:

Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

You and they have something in common. Therefore, this should be a piece of cake! Align yourself with these other victims.

And be there for them when they need you. In fact, be there for those who are suffering. Why? Because if you’re there for them, then it’s likely that they will be there for you, too.

Understand that strength comes in numbers, and human predators prefer loners.  If you band together with other victims, they will think twice before accosting you. But most of all, it will enhance your resilience.

15. Keep company only with those who uplift you.

A true friend uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. They encourage you, have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer you on when you succeed.

All too often, victims latch on to fake friends – frenemies who only tolerate them. These frenemies will subtly humiliate you in public. Then they throw you under the bus when you’re in trouble.

Resilience wanes sometimes. Therefore, to stay resilient, you must feed your confidence by surrounding yourself with only those who encourage you.

Resilience:

16. Make affirmations every day.

This is as easy as looking in the mirror each morning and making “I am” statements to yourself. For example, you can say,

  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM smart.”
  • “I AM better than what they say.”
  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of love and friendship.”
  • “I deserve respect and dignity.”

There are many affirmations you can choose to tell yourself. This may be awkward at first. However, the longer you practice this technique, the more natural it will feel.

And, most importantly, the better you will feel about yourself. This produces resilience.

In closing

Resilience can determine the entire trajectory of your life. It determines your successes and failures because you need it to avoid giving up when times get tough.

Therefore, it’s crucial to remain resilient when you experience bullying. Thinking positively also helps. Remember that bullies want you to give up. They want you to quit.

Don’t give them what they want. Be someone they find hard to bring down.

This post was all about resilience and how important it is to have it when you suffer from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways