‘Want to know how to overcome learned helplessness. Here are all the ways you can empower yourself and take back control over your life.

When you’ve been bullied and abused long enough, you develop a condition called “Learned Helplessness.” In other words, you feel hopeless.

You feel that there’s nothing you can do about your situation. Therefore, you give up any options you may have to make a better life for yourself.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to overcoming learned helplessness so that you can take back your autonomy and your life.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back control of your life and begin your journey back to peace and happiness.

This post is all about how to overcome learned helplessness and go from hopelessness to happiness.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness

How does learned helplessness apply to bullying?

When people bully you, many times they will either keep you from defending yourself or punish you for it. This is how learned helplessness rears it’s ugly head if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, many targets and survivors of bullying get stuck in the only life they know. Moreover, if bullying and abuse are the only things a person knows, guess what happens?

They usually stay stuck in relationships and environments that are harmful to them. Why? Because bullies and abusers have conditioned them all their lives to accept it as a normal part of life. This can happen to animals as well.

Here’s a piece from the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M. D.

“Maier and Seligman had repeatedly administered painful electrical shocks to dogs who were trapped in locked cages. They called this condition, ‘inescapable shock.’”

“After administering several courses of electric shock, the researchers opened the doors of the cages and then shocked the dogs again. A group of control dogs who had never been shocked before immediately ran away, but the dogs who had earlier been subjected to inescapable shock made no attempt to flee, even when the door was wide open- they just lay there, whimpering and defecating. The mere opportunity to escape does not necessarily make traumatized animals, or people, take the road to freedom.

Like Maier and Seligman’s dogs, many traumatized people give up. Rather than risk experimenting with new options, they stay stuck in the fear they know.”

This is interesting.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Learned helplessness doesn’t come from bullying per se. It comes more from being trapped and having no way to escape bullying.

Many targets of bullying have been repeatedly traumatized just like the electric shock dogs in the excerpt. People have abused them for so long that they’ve programmed them to stay in a miserable environment.

Moreover, others have conditioned them tolerate more abuse. It’s heartbreaking!

Nine times out of ten, the target is trapped in the bullying and has no chance of getting away from it. In other words, they’re trapped in a school they can’t transfer from.

Many victims of workplace bullying are stuck in a job they can’t afford to quit. Many parents of bullied kids can’t afford to move to a new area. Maybe zoning laws forbid switching schools.

Whatever the situation may be, there’s no getting away from the bullying.

When bullies and abusers deliberately block your fight or flight response, what can you do? What can you do when people or circumstances prevent you from running away or fighting back?

You either fly into a rage and end up committing a serious crime or you do like most victims. You shut down completely and surrender to “what just is.” In short, you give up.

L.H. comes from long-term entrapment

Therefore, many targets and survivors suffer from Learned Helplessness because of entrapment. Moreover, evil people have programmed them to believe that there is nothing they can do to defend themselves.

Therefore, bullies and abusers have trained them to believe they have absolutely no control over what happens to them.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Keep fighting and know that things will get better sooner or later.

This is why we should never allow bullies and abusers to drive us to the point of giving up. Never allow bullies and abusers to brainwash you into believing that you’re helpless.

Why? Because it will have devastating consequences for your entire life. No matter how others treat you and how bad things get, you must hold on to your self-belief.

Moreover, you must hold on to hope. Know that if you keep fighting, things will eventually improve.

Keep your eyes on your goals and dreams. Only then will you be able to break the hold that bullies or abusers have on you.

You may not physically be able to escape the bullying and abuse you suffer. However, you still have control over your mind.

You still have a say in what goes into your mind and what you choose to kick out of it. So, never allow the words of a bullying abuser clutter your brain.

Instead, fill your mind with your goals and dreams. Continue to think of things that make you feel good about yourself.

Work on devising a plan of escape and stick to it. Then, when the time is right and a door opens, put your plan into action.

Trust me, you’re worth it and you deserve to live drama-free and in peace.

Run your life. Don’t let your life run you.

The feeling of powerlessness is a gawd-awful place. You can feel you have no control over your life. Instead of running your life, your life runs you. Even worse, as much as you want to fix it, you don’t know how.

Your life may be a constant battle. You may be fighting a war you never volunteered to fight in but one you feel you’ve been involuntarily drafted into.

Moreover, in this war, you have no furlough nor R&R. Even worse, this war seems to be never-ending. You feel you’re sailing on a ship without a rudder.

Bad things keep happening back-to-back. What’s worse is that you don’t know what’s broken. Therefore, again, you have no way of knowing how to fix it.

Perhaps, the most heart-sinking thing is this. It looks as if everyone else is happily enjoying life. They’re getting what they want, or more appropriately, what you want.

Everyone… except you. And you’re sick of always being the exception.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

1. Recognize it in your thinking patterns.

For example, your bullies can program your subconscious mind if you let them. They will make you believe that love, success, anything good and meaningful, was for anyone who isn’t you.

Moreover, you may feel that God loathes  you. It may seem that He wants to punish you by blocking you from any kind of happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. Also, it may seem that God is making sure that you see everyone else reaching successes and enjoying their lives.

And you may hate them all for it. Even worse, you may hate God for blessing them and cursing you. You may rage at Him for allowing you to suffer.

It may seem that God has left you to fend for yourself, then cut off ways for you to do it.  But see all this for what it is… all lies!

Your reaction may be to stop talking to God. In fact, you may want nothing to do with Him. Your impulse may be to ignore Him flat out or curse Him in your heart. You may be angry, even outraged!

It may seem that He’s forcing you to suffer while rubbing everyone else’s successes and blessings in your face. You may have the feeling He is starving you. That He is forcing you to go without food while forcing you to watch everyone in the room enjoy a huge feast and eat heartily.

And it feels like torture. But again, it’s all lies. Therefore, never stop praying no matter what! And never allow this type of thinking to take root.

Therefore, the first step to preventing this type of mindset is to recognize it.

This type of thinking is the result of learned helplessness.

But you see? This is what learned helplessness does. It programs you to believe that you’re at the mercy of Fate!

You ask yourself, “what’s the point?” After so many disappointments and heartaches, you feel there’s nothing you can do to change your situation.  You think that you’re just “stuck with it,” and “that’s just the way it is.”

Learned helplessness forces you to believe that you have power over nothing! You’re just a leaf being blown about by the wind- a car without a steering wheel.

It is as if your life has been set to autopilot and there’s no way you can navigate its direction.

You come to believe that you should just roll over and resign yourself. People and circumstances have forced you to accept your fate and station in life.

And why not? It’s easier just to go with the flow and let yourself be blown wherever the wind decides to take you.

However, you’ll do yourself so much good by resisting this type of thinking.

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Read Personal Development books and articles.

You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene! Or, you can read the Bible.

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

Begin reading personal development and putting everything you learn into practice. This requires that you be hungry for any knowledge you can use to make a better life for yourself.

And, trust me. When you’re hungry for the knowledge, you’ll devour book after book. Moreover,  you’ll continue to practice the new habits you learn. And you’ll do it everyday until it became like second nature and you no longer have to think about it.

The transformation won’t happen overnight. It will take time, even few years. However, you will be amazed at the results.

Good blessings will begin to flow into your life almost immediately! They may be small at first. Nevertheless, they’ll still be blessings.

You will realize that, all along, you’ve had the power to change things only you’d never known you had it.

And power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have because it’s power you can’t use. You cannot use anything you don’t know you have.

3. Seek therapy.

You don’t have to let them shove psych meds down your throat. However, there’s counseling. Counseling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

4. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Prayer.

Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. Part of reading personal development is practicing it.

You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

This post was all about how to overcome learned helplessness so that you can take back control of your life and feel powerful again.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying