Want to know why you get punished for defending yourself and what you can do? Here are all the details you need to know.
Sadly, many victims of bullying end up getting punished for defending themselves. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you get punished for defending yourself if you’re a victim of bullying. Also, you will learn what you can do about it.
Once you learn all this vital information, you will be able to push back effectively and protect your right to self-preservation.
This post is all about why you get punished for defending yourself and what you can do to assert your rights to safety.
Punished for Defending Yourself
You can take a lot of crap from bullies and no one else says a word. However, once you get sick of the bullshit and begin defending yourself, suddenly, they are surprised! But not only are they surprised, they’re pissed off.
It’s like, “How dare you,” and “Who do you think you are!” That is essentially what everyone else thinks once you stand up to bullies.
Bullies not only CONDITION you to Accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses, they condition bystanders to get comfortable with seeing it.
Gradualism and Incrementalism- drop by drop, bullies start by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. They take it up ever so slowly and step by itsy-bitsy step.
In fact, they escalate it so slowly and so subtly that it isn’t noticeable. Yet you feel that something is off and that something doesn’t feel good. But you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!
But here’s your first clue: Your body will know if you pay attention to it. When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from these people, and you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.
You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged. You will sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen.
You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around. Then you’ll see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.
Then you’ll see them look at each other and smirk. And, when they do, you’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even notice a micro-flash or two of contempt. Don’t ignore this!
Understand that these bullies are sizing you up and probing to see how you respond or react. But, more importantly, these bullies are slowly conditioning you and everyone else that it is normal for them to bully you.
Punished for Defending Yourself:
Bullies Always size you up at first.
Next, bullies start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you. Again, they start by making the abuse almost unrecognizable. That is, until it isn’t anymore.
By the time you recognize it, the abuse is so out of control that your bullies can’t help themselves. And they don’t even try to hide it anymore.
Why continue to put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long that there’s no incentive to stop? Right?
By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. And once they’ve grown accustomed to it, it’s almost impossible for you to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to protect yourself.
Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting yourself, bullies and everyone else become outraged. You must understand that they don’t give a crap about your pain. Why? Because you’re their target and they intend for you to stay that way.
They get a psychological reward from bullying you. And hell will freeze over before they give that up. This is why, at this stage, bullies respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them.
Bullies have big egos. And when ego is involved, bullies become offended when someone they deem inferior finally develops a backbone. Therefore, they’ll do everything they can to break your will. And they’ll do it to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.
The unspoken message is, “How dare you take away our fun!”
Punished for defending yourself:
This is why you should always put a stop to it in the early stages.
Conditioning always starts small. Therefore, you must stand up to it in the early stages. You must know how to recognize it when it is barely recognizable.
Why? Because the longer bullying goes on, the more severe the abuses become. And the bigger the violations get, the harder it is to defend yourself and put a stop to it. I can’t stress this enough!
And how you recognize it is by listening to your body, because your body will feel it. You’ll also sense it in the vibes the people put out. So, pay close attention.
Bullies Want You TO BE Dependent on their approval.
Deep down, many targets are brainwashed into thinking that they must depend on their bullies for something. It’s true. I know this leaves you scratching your head. You may ask, “Depend on bullies? For what?”
Your bullies want you to be dependent on their approval and acceptance. They want to have control over your ability to meet people and make friends. In short, they want to have power over your social life.
It’s how they keep you begging for it. They dangle carrots of acceptance to keep you under their thumb and doing what they want you to do.
Punished for Defending Yourself:
Domestic Abusers Do the same to their PARTNERS.
Think about it. Domestic abusers do the same to their abused partners. They keep them dependent to maintain control and domination over them.
Only spousal abusers keep their victims dependent on financial resources. How? They do so by controlling the purse strings. They withhold money from them. Also, they shut down opportunities for the partner to make their own money by forbidding them from working.
Another control tactic of the spousal abuser is cutting the partner off from their family and friends. They do this to cut their partner off from any support they may get from them.
Again, know the early signs of bullying and abuse. If you defend yourself in the early stages, others are less likely to punish you for it.
Why? Because they haven’t gotten comfortable with seeing others bullying you yet.
Abuse is abuse, whether it comes in the form of bullying in school or the workplace, or domestic abuse in the home.
Oppressive Governments do the same to their CONSTITUENCIES.
Socialist and Communist governments also do the same to their citizenry. They manipulate events and media narratives. Moreover, they deliberately crash their countries’ economies to force the people to become dependent on them.
They even set up terrorist regimes to beat any dissenters into submission and burn their homes and businesses. This is nothing new. Those in power have used these tactics throughout history!
And they have done it solely to wrest control of the people’s behavior, thoughts, and very lives. Why? Because if you can keep someone dependent on you, you can make rules for them to follow.
In other words, you can tell them what to do and have complete domination over their lives. You can also force them to put up with the most unspeakable and evil of abuses. And you can silence them by keeping them in a state of fear.
You can make them afraid that you will withdraw whatever it is they need from you. With bullies, it is approval, acceptance, and the ability to make friends with others. With spousal abusers, it is love, money, or even food and medicine to keep you alive.
And with government despots, it’s basic needs like food, water, and other vital resources. And they can have complete control over every aspect of your life if they can keep you dependent on them for your very safety and survival.
Again, it always starts small. So, defend yourself before others have time to grow accustomed to it. This way, you won’t wait too long and get punished for it.
Punished for Defending Yourself:
Bullies will strip you of freedom and autonomy if you let them.
Understand that when control freaks use these methods of control, they strip you of your freedom and autonomy. They keep you too afraid to be your own person and exercise your human rights.
Also, they take away your ability to speak freely, be creative with your life, and flourish. They also keep you too afraid to stand up to them, call them out on their abuse, and assert your God-given right not to be controlled and abused.
The controlling person does this by keeping you under the threat that they will retaliate and unleash even worse pain on you if you disobey or step out of line.
The problem with this is that bullies, abusers, and oppressive governments only get drunk on their power. You can never satisfy them, and they can never get enough power. They must always up the ante and take more and more control.
Reasons You Get Punished for Defending yourself
Here’s something you need to realize. In your bullies’ minds, you’re only here for their convenience, their purpose, their agenda, and their pleasure. Never your own.
They need you to stay powerless. In other words, they need the scales of power to keep tipping in their favor.
Therefore, when you defend yourself against a bully, you automatically restore the balance of power. In other words, you reclaim your power. You snatch back the very thing your bullies are trying to keep from you.
When this happens, your bullies panic! Why? Because they feel that if they lose power over you, they’ll lose power over everyone else.
As a result, they will lose face. The bullies will lose respect, credibility, allies, and support. Then, they will become the bullied.
Bullies fear becoming targets.
Bullies have an obsessive fear of going from hunters to the hunted. And why not? You aren’t the only person they’ve bullied. There were many others before you. Moreover, bullies know all too well that most average people hate people like them.
They also know that most love to see bullies get their comeuppance. And once someone brings a bully down, no one will ever allow that bully to get up again.
This is why bullies will go to great lengths to keep you under control. If they cannot control you, they control nothing. Most people are still under the presumption that victims are weak. Therefore, if a victim stands up to a bully, others will see that and the bully will be at everyone else’s mercy.
Others will look at the failed bully and think, “Wow! If he can’t handle a wimp like them, then he really couldn’t handle me! This is a juicy opportunity! I can punk this creep out so easily!”
The bully then becomes the new man on the bottom. Gasp! Because if they can’t overpower the person who’s deemed the weakest link in the bunch, then they become the new weakest link! Ouch! Talk about a humbling situation!
Punished for Defending Yourself:
Bullies fear becoming the new man on the bottom.
Therefore, the bully and everyone else punish you for daring to defend yourself once the bullying reaches the late stages. And with each provocation from the bully and each counter you deliver, the more determined they are to tip the scales of power back in their favor.
With your counter jab comes pain and humiliation for bullies. Therefore, the human reflex is always to punish or eliminate the cause of that pain and humiliation.
When you stand up to a bully, they feel vulnerable because you just upset that power imbalance. Therefore, the bully punishes you to restore the power imbalance.
What do you do?
In a situation like this, you have three choices: either keep defending yourself with counterattacks or give up and feel even worse about yourself later. Or, you can leave the toxic environment altogether.
My advice is to defend yourself. However, you must punish the bully so severely that they won’t ever want to mess with you again. You must give the bully a traumatic memory they never want to relive.
It’s the only way they will stop. And if you can’t do this, then the next best thing to do is to remove yourself from the environment and relocate to a place where you can live in peace.
This post is all about what happens when you’re punished for defending yourself and what you can do about it.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses
2. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!
