Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

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‘Want to know the importance of learning to love yourself? Here are all the reasons why self-love is most important.

learning to love yourself

When you are a target of bullying, loving yourself can be very difficult when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity. Constantly being bombarded with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks over a long period of time can have a devastating cumulative effect on your self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the importance of learning to love yourself and how it can drastically improve your life.

Once you know this life-changing information, you will look for the good in yourself. And you won’t pay so much attention to what your bullies tell you.

This post is all about learning to love yourself so that you can begin to turn your life around and live happier and in peace.

Learning to Love Yourself

Your self-esteem can take a beating from all the bullying you suffer. And if you aren’t careful, you too will soon believe the cruel falsehoods others tell you.

However, no matter how viciously others may treat you, you must do everything possible to hold on to self-love! Even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

  • “I AM an awesome person.”
  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM worthy of being loved.”

Also, you must maintain your self-esteem. Never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

You Must Love Yourself Before Anyone Else Can.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. And you must take care of yourself.

Moreover, you must command respect and love from others, including a few toxic family members you love dearly. And you must be willing to make some tough decisions to receive that love and respect.

Sometimes, you have to walk away, knowing that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth. And this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

Learning to Love Yourself:

But what if the person never changes their behavior?

If, by chance, they don’t change their behavior, realize that you did all you could do. Understand that you didn’t turn your back on the person because you didn’t love them.

You walked away because they didn’t love you enough to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Therefore, you must love yourself, or nobody will love you.

Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. And don’t depend on them to validate you. Let love come from within your heart!

When you suffer bullying, loving yourself won’t be easy.

When people target you for bullying, loving yourself can be difficult. How can you feel good about yourself when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

Having people constantly bombard you with ugly names, cruel taunts and attacks, even for a short time, makes life harder than what it needs to be. Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love!

11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

1. You’re more likely to attract the right people into your life.

When you learn to love yourself, you attract better people into your life. Instead of attracting users and abusers, you draw healthier people with morals and ethics.

Therefore, if you don’t love yourself, who will? And how can you love anyone else if you don’t first love yourself?

When you don’t love yourself, others can tell. They see it in your demeanor, your face, and your posture. Moreover, they can hear it in your tone of voice and the way you talk.

Why do you think you attract users and abusers? And why do you think you end up with only people who mistreat and control you?

2. Learning to Love Yourself:

You’re able to love others the way they need to be loved.

If you don’t show yourself some love, you’ll never be able to properly love anyone else. Instead, you’ll be codependent. You’ll always search outside of yourself for love instead of allowing love to flow from within.

Moreover, when you finally find someone who loves you, you won’t love them the way they need to be loved. Instead, you’ll only smother them to death because you’ll always need to be right on top of them.

If you’re in a relationship, you’ll be suspicious of others. You’ll wonder if your partner’s going to leave you or if they’re cheating.

Also, you’ll wonder if your friends really like you or if they’re only pretending to. As a result, you’ll end up making a new partner or friend pay for something someone else did in the past.

And that’s not fair to them or to you. Being in constant worry and suspicion is no way to live!

On the other hand, if you do love yourself, you won’t suspect anyone. Why? Because you won’t need to worry about anyone doing anything behind your back. You’ll trust people and they’ll appreciate you for it.

3. You’re Not afraid to be alone.

In other words, you won’t rely too much on others to feel loved and wanted. And you won’t feel that you must always be one half of a couple to be happy.

Instead, you’ll be happy single or in a relationship.

4. Learning to Love Yourself:

You allow relationships to progress naturally.

Put simpler, you won’t want to move too quickly into any relationship. Instead, you’ll take your time and you won’t force it

Why? Because you know that moving too quickly is death to any relationship. And you’ll likely love your partner before they’ve had time to earn that love.

Therefore, you won’t do anything that might scare the other person away. You’ll realize that love needs time to grow.

5. You keep your personal Power

Instead of giving away your power, you hold on to it. In other words, you won’t put yourself at the mercy of someone else nor let them take advantage of you.

You’ll set healthy boundaries and put your needs and priorities first. Why? Because you know that you can’t pour from an empty cup. In other words, you realize that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you’ll have nothing to give to anyone else.

Therefore, you’ll keep your boundaries firmly in place.

Also, you’ll allow yourself the freedom to make your own decisions, rather than let someone else choose for you. And the best part is that people will likely respect you for it.

6. Learning to Love Yourself:

You don’t feel the need to control other people.

You can never control how another person acts nor how they feel about you. Moreover, you understand this and you’re okay with it.

Therefore, if your partner gets tired of you and decides they no longer want to be with you, you won’t force them to stay. Though it will be painful, it won’t completely devastate you.

Why? Because you’ll realize that a break-up isn’t the end of the world. Moreover, you’ll know that if they came into your life, someone else will too.

So, you’ll let the chips fall where they may.

7. You let love and friendship find you instead of searching for it.

Therefore, you won’t exhaust yourself searching for friends and lovers. Instead of spending your whole life searching for love and friendship, you’ll relax and let them come to you.

 As a result, you’ll save your precious energy and won’t be so off-putting to others. Moreover, you won’t waste your time, hopping from relationship to relationship.

And, who knows, you just might be happier by yourself. So, again, if you do have a partner and they get bored with you and leave, you won’t feel you need to search for someone else to take their place.

Most importantly, you’re least likely to have a long string of broken relationships behind you.

8. Learning to Love Yourself:

You’re selective of your friends and lovers.

If you settle for less, you’ll get even less than what you settled for. You realize this, so you won’t settle for less than what you want.

If a friend or partner comes along, you’re willing to give them a chance. However, if that person isn’t the person you thought they were, you quickly move on to something better.

Therefore, you aren’t afraid to be selective of the company you keep.

9. Instead of attracting takers, you attract givers.

Because of this, you don’t mind giving back in return. Therefore, you enjoy happier and healthier relationships.

Again, you’re selective of your lovers, friends and associates. Why? Because you realize that some people are more than happy to be around you just to get something from you.

Moreover, human predators will know that you aren’t one to mess with. So, they’ll avoid you and move onto some poor sucker who doesn’t respect themselves.

10. You take responsibility for your own happiness.

Instead of replying on someone else to make you happy, you allow happiness to come from within. How? By creating happy moments for yourself.

You spend quality time with family and friends. Maybe you do things you enjoy the most. However you do it, you take charge of your own happiness.

You never put your happiness in the hands of someone else. And that’s a part of learning to love yourself

11. Learning to Love Yourself:

You have no time for toxic people.

Therefore, you won’t put up with shabby treatment even if it means you must be alone for a spell. Therefore, you aren’t afraid to give toxic people the old heave-ho!

Again, you’re selective of the people in your life. So, it’s likely that you won’t end up with someone who will only abuse you. Moreover, you won’t accept anyone who’s too lazy to work and expects you to keep their worthless ass up.

Instead, you show them the door, fast!

In Closing:

If you don’t love yourself, who will?

If you are a target of bullying, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of learning to love yourself! You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for love and acceptance. It isn’t necessary.

You have better options. You just don’t know it yet.

Therefore, learn to love yourself. Practice your talents and gifts. Do the things you enjoy most. And spend time with the people who love you.

Most importantly, give a little of yourself to help others without expecting anything in return. And I promise you. It will pay off sooner or later.

Be selective of the people you allow in your life. And know that there will come a day when you attract genuine friends into your life.

This post is all about the importance of learning to love yourself so that you can give yourself the compassion you deserve and take charge of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

2. Make New Friends: 11 Easy Ways to Attract Buddies

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

physical bullies at school

Physical Bullies: 9 Secrets You Should Know

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‘Want to know secrets of physical bullies. Here are all the secrets they hide so you can use them to your advantage.

physical bullies

They may appear tough. However, physical bullies are the weakest ones of all.

In this post you will learn all the secrets physical bullies don’t want you to know so that you can use them to your advantage.

Once you learn all about these important details, you will feel better about yourself just knowing that you don’t have to result to physical means to get through life.

This post is all about physical bullies and their weaknesses so that you can use them as weapons to protect yourself.

Physical Bullies

The weakest person always uses physical violence. However, the strongest person always uses their brain. It’s also true that the weakest person talks the most and the loudest, but the strongest person gets his message across in few words.

Through experience, I’ve found that these bullies were taught at home that violence is the answer to all their problems. Most of my classmates had the same brutish mentality.

Therefore, if you didn’t give them what they wanted, they resorted to using their fists to force you to comply. Also, they used physical violence any time they felt you weren’t giving them the respect they thought they deserved.

Additionally, bullies like these may even use physical violence to take their frustrations out on you. Whenever they’re in a bad mood, they hold you responsible for it. It’s pathetic really.

But they would never tell you these things!

Here are the secrets they hope you never find out.

1. Physical Bullies are highly insecure with themselves.

Physical violence is weakness. Why? Because people only submit because they don’t the bully to beat them up.

True persuasion is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. Therefore, when people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, it’s so much more rewarding.

Understand that physical bullies see everything as zero-sum. In other words, they feel they either have total control, or none at all. And there’s no in-between.

If they can’t have complete influence, they feel powerless.

2. Physical Bullies:

They compare themselves with others.

Physically violent bullies often compare themselves with others. They see themselves as less effective at persuasion than others.

Therefore, they feel that they’re not as good at getting others to cooperate. And they feel that they should always be in command of circumstances and situations.

In their intense anger and rage, these bullies look at you. And through use of force and violence, these bullies shift the blame. They shift it from their own sense of powerlessness to something you must have done.

They see you as their enemy or their adversary. Therefore, they feel that they must punish and destroy you.

Therefore, their knee-jerk reactions are triggered with a self-demeaning or self-defeating thought and feeling of indignation. And this trigger happens somewhere between your statement or action and their blow-up.

3. They care what you and everyone else thinks of them.

Consequently, the bully has an afterthought that compels them to physically attack you. The afterthought can be something like:

  • “He thinks I’m a wuss.”
  • “He thinks I’m chicken.”
  • “She thinks I’m weak.”
  • “I’m not getting through to this jerk.”
  • “He doesn’t respect me.”
  • “I need to show this person she cannot ignore me and just walk away.”

This is all the result of the bully’s feeling hurt. Therefore, they cover this hurt feeling behind a veneer of anger and toughness.

Moreover, physically violent bullies believe that being calm and cool is a sign of weakness. They feel the same about walking away from confrontation.

 They also think that ignoring an aggressor is a sign of disrespect. However, understand that these bullies place high value on their status and social image.

Therefore, when they feel that you’ve slighted them, they make you responsible for their feelings of indignation.

4. Physical bullies must use violence to keep their power.

In other words, they think they’re entitled to put their hands on you. Why? Because they think that you wronged them somehow. Therefore, you should be punished.

Also, physically violent bullies impose rules of engagement on you that they, themselves, don’t follow. Bullies think they’re exempt from any rules.

Again, physical bullies have a sense of entitlement. They believe that you should respect them at all times. According to your bullies, you should know what they want from you.

In fact, your bullies expect you to do what they tell you to do and never say no to them. Moreover, you should only tell them what they want to hear.

In short, your bullies expect you to satisfy their every whim, even if it means sacrificing yourself for them.

5. They see themselves as the victim and you as the aggressor who must be punished.

In their minds, they’re thinking the following thoughts.

  • “You caused me distress!”
  • “You made me mad, so I must make you pay dearly for it!”
  • “How dare you defy me!”
  • “That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”

By reversing the roles and making you the aggressor, physical bullies can blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than hopelessness.

Physical violence may Seem like strength. But, is it?

Physical bullies may look strong and mighty. They may seem tough when they’re whipping and beating up on you, However, they’re really weak.

In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s because they can’t have power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use physical force.

Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm nor seductive powers.

In other words, they aren’t able to persuade people to do what they want.

Physically violent bullies constantly apply evil intentions to you. Therefore, they feel consistent urges to make you pay for being such a pain.

Remember that your bullies are under the delusion that you’re persecuting them when, in fact, it’s the opposite. However, realize that blaming you helps them soothe their self-image.

Fisticuffs give physical bullies psychological rewards.

When physically violent bullies attacks you and beats you down, they get instant psychological rewards. As a result, they relieve their anger and get a sense of power.

Finally, they get to feel a sense of satisfaction and justice.

Moreover, your bullies get to deal with you up close. They get to look into your eyes to see your pain. Also, they want to hear you cry out or scream in pain.

They also get the satisfaction from the possibility of getting you good and bloody. For them, that’s icing on the cake.

Realize that these people are sick individuals. They derive pleasure from inflicting cuts, bruises, and broken bones.

6. These types of Bullies Feel Powerless. they’re are No Different Than Rapists

For example, the reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.

Maybe they have no game. In other words, they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.

Moreover, maybe they’re creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to potential partners.

Most rapists are ineffective and powerless with women under normal circumstances. So, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!

7. Physical Bullies Feel Vulnerable during conflicts.

It comes down to the  views of not just others, but of themselves. The reason these bullies use physical force and violence is because they feel vulnerable in conflicts.

Therefore, they go to the only problem-solving technique they know. Physical violence is the only way they can punish their targets and restore their self-esteem.

Here’s another way to look at it. Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. They may beat the crap out of you but you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.

Moreover, your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence are things they are stuck with forever!

If nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use relying on the school, workplace, or the law to protect you.

You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!

8. Instant Gratification.

These bullies tend to crave instant and immediate gratification. Physical violence gives them that. Moreover, your bullies get an immediate rush of power and dominion.  And they think that they’ve won.

Many physically violent bullies are egocentric and have delusions of grandeur. And when you stand up to them, you shatter their delusions.

Moreover, if you say anything back to the bullies, it automatically puts your bullies on the weaker end. Therefore, they fly into a rage and use violence to restore that sense of power and invincibility.

Understand that these types of people are self-serving. And they feel superior to anyone else. Therefore, they think they have innate entitlements that supersede even your most basic human rights.

Physical Bullies Expect you to take their shit.

These bullies believe they’re entitled to hurt you.  On the other hand, they believe you’re just supposed to shut up and take it. They expect you to take the abuse without question or protest.

Therefore, when you stand up and oppose the abuse, your bullies will take it as a challenge. They may even see it as an insult. As a result, they will use forceful and violent measures to take you down.

9. They are Sadistic.

Physical bullies derive feelings of pleasure when beating you up. Moreover, they feel no shame unless the wrong people find them out.

They’re open with their violence and don’t fear accountability. Why? Because they know that most others are too scared to confront them.

Physical bullies have no qualms about asserting their dominance over others. They feel their entitlements supersede your basic rights.

Therefore, they confidently encroach on your time, your space, and your safety. Where most people would feel shame over hurting someone, physical bullies only feel powerful.

Sadly, there isn’t much you can do to help these types of people. Sadistic people are resistant to any help. Consequently, those who are physically violent usually end up in prison for battery or murder.

Bullies have many secrets and it’s up to you to find out what they are. Also, it’s up to you to defend yourself against them no matter what.

This post is all about the mentality of physical bullies so that you’ll be more emboldened to defend yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

covert bullying examples

Covert Bullying Examples: 7 Must-Know Tactics Covert Bullies Use

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‘Want to know all the covert bullying examples so that you can recognize them when you see them? Here are all the sneaky tactics bullies use so that you can see it and call it out.

covert bullying examples

Covert bullying can be difficult to detect, which is why it’s so hard to defend against.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the covert bullying examples and how to stand up to it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to recognize it when you see it and defend yourself when it happens to you.

This post will give you all the covert bullying examples so that you’ll spot it and stand up to it when bullies get sneaky about their insults and personal attacks.

Covert Bullying Examples

Bullies are big cowards and most will take tiny nibbles of your self-esteem through subtle insults and sneaky attacks. Here are all the examples of covert bullying and how to stand up to subtle bullies who use stealth abuse to undermine your confidence.

1. They Will Make Softened Statements.

Euphemism- word, phrase or statement that softens a harsher meaning.

Seasoned bullies are well-known for euphemisms. In other words, they soften their words so that they don’t look bad to others.

Anytime bullies soften their insults, they appear concerned for your well-being. They seem sympathetic. However, don’t be misled. In reality, they’re anything but!

By softly putting you down, your bullies persuade their listeners to confirm and justify their atrocious behavior. And when they get the confirmation they seek, they get the green light to continue talking.

Here are the most common softened statements.

  • “I hope she gets the help she needs.”
  • “The poor guy, it’s sad that people treat him so bad.”
  • “I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
  • “Bless her heart, she’s such a miserable and unhappy person.”
  • “I sincerely hope she can go someplace where she can be happy.”

I want you to understand that when your bullies make these statements, they’re not the least bit concerned about your well-being. They’re only concerned with how they look and sound to everyone else.

They’re only putting on a good front to cover their true feelings.

2. Covert Bullying Examples:

Bullies will use Doublespeak

Bullies are slick with their insults. Many times, they may disguise their vitriol and contempt with the use of doublespeak. And it’s the same as using softened statements.

The term “doublespeak” comes from George Orwell’s book “1984.” Bullies use doublespeak when they words that sound more palatable to the ears. Bullies use doublespeak to lessen their chances of turning other people off.

This form of abuse is covert because it makes the bully sound like a caring, concerned person rather than a vicious one.

For example:

Bullies degrade you in front of others. However, rather than being blunt, they’ll be polite about it.

Instead of, “I can’t stand him, he’s batshit nuts and he belongs in the nuthouse!” they’ll say,

“I’m very concerned about him. I think he has a mental imbalance somewhere that hasn’t been addressed. I hope he gets the help he needs.”

The first version would make the bully sound mean and nasty. The second version sounds so much better. It makes the bully look like a good person who’s genuinely concerned for you.

Here’s another example:

A female bully is putting her neighbor down. But rather than say,

“I’d like to catch her in the street and beat the living crap out of her and leave her to die!” which would make the bully sound like a vindictive and hateful bitch, she says,

“If she doesn’t change her attitude, I’m afraid someone’s going to hurt her really bad!”

Again, the second version sounds so much better because it shows concern rather than hatred. Also, it makes you look like you must be bringing the bad treatment on yourself.

It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it. Moreover, it’s the nonverbal communication you use with it that makes all the difference. It’s just too easy to bully someone without looking like a bully!

You know when you’re being bullied no matter how covert your bullies may be. The trick is to call it out in the early stages before the sneaky attacks become a set pattern.

Never let anyone grow too comfortable with abusing you. Why? Because they’ll escalate their bullying until it gets out of control.

And once bullying gets out of control, your bullies won’t even try to hide it! And that’s when you will be in grave danger!

So, call it out in the early stages. It’s the only way you’ll be able to put a stop to it!

3. Covert Bullying Examples:

Your bullies will make vague excuses.

Your bullies will make these statements When they can’t come up with a good excuse for their rotten behavior

Any time others ask your bullies why they behave the way they do toward you, they will often come up with vague excuses. Moreover, they’ll conjure up something that sounds plausible and makes sense.

For example, your bullies will make one of the following excuses:

  • “She just rubs me the wrong way!”
  • “I just don’t like him.”
  • “I just get a bad feeling about her!”
  • “There’s just something about him that I don’t like!”
  • “She just gives me a bad feeling!”
  • “I just don’t feel good around him!”
  • “Something about her just scares me!”

4. Your Bullies will pull “I just have a bad feeling about” so-and-so routine.

Let’s face it, we’ve all met people who instantly give us the heebie-jeebies. There will be those who make you suspicious of them. And you didn’t have to see them do anything for them to raise your alarm bells.

The person won’t even have to speak. They may even be a nice person and very well-behaved. However, you still won’t feel good around them.

Therefore, these explanations are so plausible. Because some people, regardless of whether they’ve done anything wrong, just seem to creep you out. And you should always follow your gut instinct.

However, these explanations are covert because they’re so plausible and relatable. Therefore, bullies can leverage them. In other words, they can use them to make others suspicious of you. As a result, people may even begin shunning and abusing you.

Covert Bullying Examples:

Others will suspect you too.

Understand that many bullies have the ability to charm and draw others to them.

Therefore, if the bully saying this about you happens to be a trusted and highly thought of person, those listening will automatically think, “Whoa! If so-and-so gives Becky a bad feeling, then what have I been missing here?”

Therefore, they will view you with a cautious eye too. Remember that moods, emotions, and behaviors have a highly contagion effect. In other words, they tend to spread over a group like a brush fire!

Here’s the thing. When people think highly of your bullies, they trust their judgment. Therefore, they’ll likely doubt their own senses and go with the word of the bully.

And they’ll do it simply because they like them. Put simpler, they will trust the bullies’ judgement more than they do their own.

But, know that these evil people are trying to be slick! The purpose for maneuver is to cast doubt on you in the eyes of others and provoke suspicion. Nothing more.

All it takes is one seed of doubt to start a long smear campaign. Therefore, the best thing to do is to see it for what it is. It’s a smear campaign in the making.

And just watch your bullies escalate it from there. Watch them try to “create” bogus stories.

Moreover, they’ll create proof to back it up. How will they do it?

They’ll do it by baiting you into an altercation. If you react, they’ll use your normal reaction and spin it to fit their twisted narrative. That’s how it works. So, be alert!

If possible, the best thing to do is to avoid them altogether. You want to save yourself a ton of drama. Remember! Out of sight, out of mind!

5. Covert Bullying Examples:

They will use Confabulations.

Many times, bullies will blow up on you for absolutely no reason. Later, when people question them about the blow-up, they won’t remember why they lost their temper.

Therefore, they’ll drum up fake memories to fill in the blanks. You must understand that bullies do this to sound plausible instead of ridiculous.

When bullies confabulate, they do it to feel sane. And the way they feel sane is to insert made-up stories to fill in the blanks.

Sometimes, people mistake confabulations for real memories.

When bullies confabulate a justifiable reason for their appalling behavior, they believe themselves. Therefore, is it any wonder that most abusers appear to be telling the truth?

It’s why they’re so good at justifying and rationalizing their abusive actions? When a person believes their own lies, others will likely believe them too.

Bystanders and witnesses

Confabulations have an incredible effect on witnesses. When people hear lies spoken as truths, it is as if you’ve entered the twilight zone.

No one wants to be under a bully’s influence. However, people get sucked in all the time. Many people have had their lives destroyed, even taken because they were persuaded by bullies.

Moreover, those who saw through it and spoke out were silenced. Or, they paid a heavy price for daring to open their mouths. This has also happened to entire cultures and populations.

Understand that confabulations can be a powerful weapon. And it’s why you must learn to properly counter them. Or, you can let the bully drag them out until others get tired of hearing them squawking about it.

6. Covert Bullying Examples:

Bullies use Plausible Deniability

Most bullying is emotional and psychological torture. Sure, there are many physically violent bullies out there. They are psychologically traumatize you enough by using their fists.

However, most physical bullies aren’t socially intelligent. They aren’t persuasive.

Many of these types of bullies attack in groups wearing masks over their faces to ensure anonymity. Maybe they’re so well-connected that they’re almost untouchable.

Or, they don’t care about the consequences they will face.

Again, most bullies prefer psychological violence. And the reason is that there are no visible bruises or wounds to prove it. And without visible marks, there’s no proof of abuse.

The plausible deniability of it is what makes this tactic so covert.

Therefore, when you report the abuse, the perpetrators aren’t likely to get into trouble for it. Also, you stand a pretty good chance of taking the blame.

7. They Use Exaggerations and distortions.

These are the kinds of covert deception bullies love to practice. Bullies understand that a pure lie isn’t likely to be believed. Therefore, it would only discredit them.

However, if they tell a half-truth, people will more than likely believe it. A half-truth is a lie that contains a tiny grain of truth. And the cleverest of liars use them.

Exaggerations and distortions are the same as half-truths. They’re perfect for bullies because, again, there’s always a degree of truth to them.

For example, a bully will provoke you. They will keep provoking you until you get fed up.  You’ll finally to tell the bully to buzz off. And you may use a low, angry growl to do it.

Later, the bully will tell others about it, making sure to blow it up, and make it bigger than it was.  They’ll say that you started the confrontation. Moreover, they’ll exaggerate what happened.

 The bully may tell everyone else that you screamed and cursed them out. And they’ll leave out the part where they kept provoking you until you got tired of their crap and told them to buzz off.

And the part where you told them to buzz off? The bully will distort it by saying that you told them to f*** off.

Therefore, always be prepared when you know you’re going to walk into a snake pit.

Covert Bullying Examples:

How to Defend Yourself

Here are ways to defend yourself by gathering evidence:

1. Document it.

It’s crucial to document each bullying incidence and do it in detail. Use the 5W method (what, who, why, when, where…and sometimes how).

Write down what happened, who was involved, and who the bystanders and witnesses were. Also record why the bullying incident happened (retaliation for reporting a prior bullying incident?).

Be sure to include when it happened (date and exact time of incidence) and where it happened (school bathroom, locker room, behind the school, the company parking lot, etc.).

2. Wear a body camera

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction and the laws permit you to wear one, I recommend you wear a body camera. In fact, I can’t stress it enough!

Body cams that record both video and audio are your best bet. However, if you can only get a cam that records video, that’s fine too. With these, you can still capture physical attacks and body language.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a video is worth a thousand pictures. Why? Because if bullying is caught on video, there’s no question that it’s happening.

This is why it’s the best evidence you can get!

3. Covert Bullying Examples:

Keep a digital recorder handy

These are good for recording verbal altercations. Also, many of them can play recordings that  sound clear and not muffled.

4. Make 3-4 Copies of your evidence

Whether it’s documentation, body cam recordings, or digital audio recordings, it’s always best to make several copies of the evidence.

Why? Because schools and workplaces are notorious for deliberately misplacing or losing your evidence of bullying.

Yeah, I know. Convenient, isn’t it?

5. Keep each of your copies in different locations.

This is so important! Because, if you think school districts and companies won’t snoop, you’re only fooling yourself.  In fact, many entities have hired people to break into victims’ houses to search for evidence they can dispose of.

When it comes to the threat of being sued, schools and companies will resort to anything, and I mean anything!

6. Covert Bullying Examples:

Screenshot and save any nasty and abusive emails, texts, or private messages

Very important! Any time bullies resort to cyber-bullying you, they automatically leave a paper trail! Screenshot it, save it, and, if need be, print them all out.

Make copies of them. Store each copy in an entirely different place (your house, your grandma’s house, your lawyer’s office, etc.) Also, you can store them in a fireproof safe!

Realize that schools and companies may snoop through your garbage when you put it out on the street for the trash-men to pick up. Moreover, they may break into your vehicle or  your home to snoop around for any evidence you might have against them.

You must realize that these people will do anything to cover their butts. I can’t count the articles I’ve read about these things happening to targets of bullying, whether in school, the workplace, or community.

And in today’s world, bullies are now targeting their victims with surveillance drones. Also, school boards are targeting parents with electronic surveillance as well, then spreading their private information and pictures of children to some evil entities.

It’s a very dangerous world nowadays and you never know what sick people you’re dealing with.

7. Never count on anyone else to investigate bullying for you.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to gather your own evidence. Therefore, quietly do your own investigation.

It’s pointless to rely on the school or workplace to investigate for you. Why? Because the results will only be in the bullies’ and the investigating entity’s favor, not yours!

So, never, ever trust anyone else to gather evidence or investigate for you. When bullies target you for bullying, you cannot afford to trust anyone but yourself. I’m not joking!

When you’re bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. The only person you can depend on is you. Only you can gather the evidence you need to prove that bullies are targeting you. And, only you can take legal action, and get justice.

This post gave you all the covert bullying examples so that you’ll know them when you see them in real time.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

character vs reputation in the bible

Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You

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‘Want to know the differences of character vs reputation? If people have bullied you and unjustly ruined your reputation, know that your reputation doesn’t equal your character. Here, we discuss in detail how the two differ and the tactics bullies use to mar your good name.

character vs reputation

“Your reputation is what others think of you; your character is what you truly are. Reputations can be manipulated; character can only be developed and maintained.”

~ Bohdi Sanders ~

All too often, when a person is bullied, their reputation takes a big hit due to the many ugly rumors and lies spread by their tormentors.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn character vs reputation and how they differ. Also, you will learn how bullies destroy the reputations of good people and how others come to believe the lies.

Once you learn all these bits of information, not only will you be able to see through the lies when they happen to yourself and others. But you will also learn what you must do to protect yourself against smear campaigns your bullies may launch against you.

This post is all about character vs reputation and what you can do to protect your good name.

Character vs reputation

Bullying is a campaign. Just as politicians go about kissing babies and shaking hands with people on the street, giving a spiel of why they’re the best person for the office they’re running for, bullies do the same.

They go from person to person spinning their yarn about why no one should associate with you and why you’re such a contemptible person.

Your bullies will engage everyone, even your friends and family, pulling false accusations out of thin air. Moreover, they make them sound so convincing that others find the lies difficult not to believe.

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

Bullies attack your reputation to strip you of power. Once your reputation is gone, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack.

Therefore, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. Even worse, you’re at the mercy of virtually everyone around you.

You see? Bullies know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down. Why? Because they’ll have public opinion on their side.

They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions of you finish you off.

Why Bullies are successful in making people believe the lies.

1. The tiny grain of truth tactic.

Tormentors will use a tiny grain of truth about you. In other words, they may bring up a simple mistake you made in the past (possibly an error which anybody could have made at any time).

They then add their spin to it, making it worse and more significant to make the story even more believable.

2. Character vs Reputation:

The Baiting tactic.

Here’s a good example of the baiting tactic.

Harassers will use subtle provocations, taunts, and assaults to bait you into an emotional reaction. Once they get the reaction from you that they’re looking for, they’ll turn around and use your perfectly normal human response as further proof that you’re mentally imbalanced.

Moreover, even if you don’t give them the reaction they want, your bullies will only double down in their efforts to get you to snap. And sadly, after being attacked for so long, it’s too easy for you to become worn down.

 And once you become exhausted, you’re likely to go the “eye for an eye” route and return the attacks (physically or verbally). Although defending yourself is a perfectly reasonable response, bullies will use it as confirmation that you’re the bad guy.

Therefore, you must be cautious in your counter-attacks. Also, you must carefully choose your battles. Why? Because, again, a well-experienced bully can easily use any reactions to validate any rumors lies about you.

Before long, even those who aren’t necessarily bullies will also shun and brutalize you. This is a sign that your bullies have tarnished your reputation and sadly, a ruined reputation can take years to repair.

3. the use of charm and allure.

You must realize that bullies are sociopathic. They have a wealth of superficial charm at their disposal. Therefore, they are masters in the arts of persuasion and influence.

Also, most superficially charming people are very skilled wordsmiths. This is why they can pull a complete fabrication out of their butts and make it smell sweet and sound plausible.

Because of this oozing charm that most seasoned bullies possess, they can encourage bystanders and sometimes authority (teachers, principals, monitors, etc.) to join in the torment.

4. Character vs Reputation:

Smear campaigns.

How do Smear Campaigns work?

It always starts subtly.  Bullies begin the smear campaign by planting seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others. Doubt is a powerful tool.

They may start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Moreover, all it takes is one little rumor- just one!

Next, the bullies use repetition. They repeat the same rumor over and over again until it sticks. And sadly, once enough people believe it, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie.

In fact, by then, people will want to believe it.

And there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

In other words, bullies ruin targets by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, they’ll fade into the background because they know that with everything put together, whatever lies they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

Stage 1 of the Smear Campaign.

The bullies provoke you. You blow them off for a while but the bullies are relentless. Therefore, they not only continue but escalate the harassment.

Finally, you get fed up with their crap and, out of exhaustion and emotion, tell them to go to hell in a hand basket. And there! The bullies get the reaction they’ve been waiting for.

Now, the smear campaign begins. Your bullies start by suggesting that you’d be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good to look as if they have genuine concern for you.

Next, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there. Understand that bullies need to slowly and ever-so-gradually ramp up the smears. Why? So, that what they’re doing doesn’t appear so obvious.

Character vs Reputation

In the beginning, you may have friends. Others may like or even love you. Moreover, they may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what he told you.”

Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Smear Campaign Stage 2.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy.

Moreover, they make false statements and accuse you of wrongs you never committed.

And as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they grow until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be more wrong!

Character vs Reputation:

Smear Campaign stage 3.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth.

Therefore, by the time the open bullying is underway, you no longer have a clean reputation.

Character vs reputation:

The results of a successful smear campaign.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

They’ll say that you put on a front, and you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

Moreover, others will make your past wins, accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. They will also maximize your mistakes and failures and add many more you didn’t make.

In other words, they will rewrite your history.

If you’re on your best behavior and others see it with their own eyes, they’ll only accuse you of being a con artist. Also, any hard evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they’ll chalk it up to you being a smooth-talker who’s good at using charm to manipulate others.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? They’ll claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear up and down that they were only kind to you because they felt sorry for you, or because you conned them.

Your so-called friends will tell others, “who you really are.” They’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

Also, they’ll say that they only agreed with you about your bullies because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. Your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once people’s minds are already made up, there’s no changing it.

Character vs Reputation: Smear Campaign Stage 4

Stage 4 is the late stage. Therefore, in the late stages of a smear campaign, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators.

Gossip will be everywhere. And it brings scandal, which means to assassinate the target’s character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a student, worker, neighbor, and human being.

Moreover, anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated, so this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if the target attempts to defend himself or speak out against the abuse, it will be used against him.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for the target to ensure his safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment and go to a new place where he can start anew, establish new connections, and reinvent himself.

Here’s an example:

Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me.” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Moreover, during the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy, telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal.  However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, that happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

 Therefore, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether and never look back. Moreover, never have anything to do with any of these people again.

You owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

Character vs Reputation:

Focus on your character and not your reputation.

Know that reputation does not equal character. In other words, your reputation is not who you are. Hold on to your self-love because these people do not know you nor do they deserve to.

Know that once you’re free of these people, you can start again, making new friends in your new area. Moreover, these new friends will see the awesome you that people in the old town missed out on. And you will live in peace and be surrounded by love once again.

It happened for me and it can happen for you too.

This post was all about character vs Reputation and the tactics bullies use to destroy your good name. Also, it was about the process and stages of the smear campaign and what you can do to escape it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

3. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

bullying and mental health stigma among students

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

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Bullying and mental health stigma are, sadly, close relatives. This is because the stigma on mental health can lead to bullying. Moreover, it’s the perfect weapon. Here’s why bullies and abusers use mental health as a weapon.

bullying and mental health stigma

You can be a victim of mental health stigma whether or not you have mental health issues. All it takes is for someone to claim that you have mental problems and your reputation will take a huge hit.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and mental health stigma. Moreover, you’ll learn why bullies weaponize this stigma so you recognize it for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to call it out with confidence and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma

Sadly, the mental health label has loads of staying power. Also, it’s the hardest to get rid of. It’s the most common form of gaslighting there is.

Do you ever wonder why most bullies attach labels, such as “unstable,” or “mentally disturbed” to targets who stand up against abuse?

Here are 5 reasons bullies stick you with the cr*zy label:

1. The cray-Cray label is a last option.

Bullies attack your sanity when they’ve run out of bad things to pin on you. Think about this. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around.

Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Therefore, the mental illness label is the last option your bullies have.

2. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

If you are a target of bullying, and you have the guts to stand up against the abuse, the bully may tell everyone that you’re nuts. Moreover, everyone else may believe it too.

However, the bully can’t prove that you are, in fact, cr*zy, there is also no way you can prove that you aren’t.

You may not even have any record of mental illness. But those records are protected by HIPAA. Therefore, again, you have no way of proving that you don’t have psychological issues.

So, it’s the most difficult to debunk.  In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

3. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

People tend to see the worst in others.

Another reason the “cr*zy” label is just too easy to stick on anyone is because people have a strong tendency to see the worst in others.

Moreover, the burden of proof is on you. It is damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally unstable, especially when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down.

The natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked, and others can mistake it for mental illness.

It happens when people walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. Many times they only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

Then they draw the wrong conclusions. Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. Often, they provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely lost it.

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. And the thing that makes it so difficult to disprove is the stress you’re likely under when your being bullied and mobbed.

4. Bullying tends to make you an emotional wreck.

Any target of bullying will be an emotional mess because of the chronic abuse they suffer. This is another reason the MH label is such a clever label for your bullies to pin on you.

‘You see? When bullies label you unstable, it doesn’t mean they actually think that you are.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. If they really and truly thought you were bonkers, they wouldn’t mess with you at all.

In, fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, a mental case, that person would tear their heads off. That person would go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.

If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually batshit loony, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. They’ll do their due diligence to keep from setting them off!

5. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t clueless. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap. They figure that you’ll either report them or stand up to them.

Therefore, if everyone thinks you’re loony, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

Understand that bullies do this all the time to discredit their victims and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong!

Again, if your bullies can make you look like you just escape the nuthouse, then who’s going to believe you when you report them? And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it?

They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely berserk!”

6. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them.

Again, just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet. In that, they can save their own behinds.

If you know that people think you’re mentally unstable, chances are that you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth. Why? Because you know that people probably won’t believe you.

They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just having a bout of paranoia.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back. You know that the bullies will only reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re a “mental case.”

7. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

Your bullies don’t really think you’re cr*zy. They think you’re weak.

Your bullies know that you’re as sane as everyone else. However, they push that label because weakness or helplessness in a person does have a certain allure and appeal.

As a result, others may feel compelled to come to that person’s aid. Helplessness sparks a natural tendency in people to want to take care of the person who is helpless.

On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person who is deemed a basket case. Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they stick you with the mentally unhinged label to strip you of that allure.

In labeling you mentally disturbed and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable. If they can successfully dodge responsibility for their abuse, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability. If you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

When Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks

Isn’t it funny how quickly bullies can become board-certified shrinks? And they can do it overnight, without reading as much as a single word out of a psychology textbook.

As we all know, bullies are legends in their own minds. Also, they only make themselves look foolish when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych,” and, it empowers bullies to conduct, “remote analyses.” All while holding little to zero education in the field of Psychology!

If you’re a target of bullying who’s been diagnosed by bullies, you can counter these accusations of insanity by reading a basic psychology 101 textbook. Then, you can challenge your bullies  by asking questions that challenge their narrative.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

Here’s an Example:

Jack: “Don’t hang out with Jill. She’s cr*zy.”

Kelly: “Cr*zy? That sounds like a pretty serious accusation. Cr*zy in what way?”

Jack: “Uh…I don’t know. Like schizo or something.”

Kelly: There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think she falls into?”

Jack: “Uhhhhh…having paranoia?”

Kelly: “I’ll have you know that paranoia is a common trait in many psychopathologies.”

Jack: “Uhhhh. I dunno. She’s talking about people talking about her and thinking they’re after her or something- that’s cr*zy.”

Kelly: “Jack, have you ever considered that possibility that Jill may be a target of bullying?”

Jack: “Oh, no! We’re not allowed to talk about that.”

Kelly: (Rolls her eyes and scoffs at Jack, then walks away.)

When bullies use pop-psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ignorant.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

For more information, go to:

https://antiss.net

If They Can’t Manipulate You, They’ll Attack Your Mental Health

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally imbalanced” label to discredit you.

Moreover, they get to control how others see you when they can no longer control you. It only goes to show that they see you as a threat.

Also, it proves that they’re both desperate and afraid. When you refuse to be manipulated, it sends several messages to your bullies. These messages threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and their power.

  • It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  • It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • Also, it tells them the opposite of what they think of you- that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak.
  • Your refusal to be manipulated puts them in their place.
  • It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • Moreover, it tells them that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  • It tells them you could care less about impressing them.
  • Finally, it tells them they don’t matter to you and that you don’t value their insults or do you accept their definitions of you.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

How to defend Against the Label.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Thus, they feel entitled.

They despise being told no and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. Therefore, if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships, and the way others perceive you.

Don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and calmly tell them,

“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave them standing there slack-jawed. If your bullies follow you and ask, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. So, say as little as possible.

Tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”

You say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

Short responses are key here.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

Your bullies may not change their ways and their attitudes toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down. Also, you didn’t look unstable to any bystanders!

Know that there are ways to stand up to the mental illness label.

This post was all about bullying and mental health stigma and why bullies stick you with the mental health label so that you can see it for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying Those with Mental Illness

3. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

Confident Person Example: Who Are the Most Confident People?

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‘Want to be a great confident person example? First, you must know who the most confident people are and use them as your guides. Here’s who the most confident people are and they are those you don’t expect.

confident person example

What do confident people do differently? And who are these confident people? You must know the answers to these questions to learn to do what they do.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn which group of people are the perfect confident person examples.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to see these examples and let them inspire you to do what you must do to boost your own confidence.

This post will guide you on how to be a good confident person example so that you can grow and repair your self-esteem.

Confident Person Example

People under 4 years old are the perfect examples of pure confidence. Why? Because they don’t worry about what others think of them.

What Babies can Teach Us about Confidence

Babies are so adorable! They have that charm and innocence that no other age group has. Also, they don’t worry about what others think of them and they never try to impress others.

These little darlings display open sweetness, purity, complete authenticity, and hearts of gold. Babies don’t have a care in the world.

They have no inhibitions whatsoever. They’re not afraid to cry and express their wants and needs. You can see it in the way little toddlers shamelessly coo, laugh, babble, skip, run, and dance.

And they’ll do it in front of anyone. These little sweeties are fearless. They’re not afraid to show their emotions, express their thoughts, or show their creativity.

Furthermore, their precious little souls are completely open. They give, share, and receive love with an open and grateful heart. They love being loved and doted on and will receive it with a squeal of joy.

They are the perfect examples of confidence!

Confident Person Example:

Everything starts with self-love and babies are a perfect example of it.

Sadly, as time passes and these babies grow bigger and lose their confidence, bit by tiny bit. The ways of people and the world slowly and incrementally taint their little hearts.

Many grow up in toxic environments. Some live with parents who excessively criticize and abuse them.

Therefore, as these babies grow, they slowly build a protective wall around themselves. And that do it to try and keep the contamination out.

Because family members and others discount, ridicule, even punish them for their feelings, they learn to mask their emotions. Consequently, babies collect emotional baggage as they become preschoolers, school-aged kids, then teenagers, and finally, adults.

Many are raised by drug-addicted, mentally ill, and neglectful adults. Therefore, they build walls to protect themselves from that as well. Some of these children learn to raise themselves.

No one is born with low self-esteem and lack of confidence. However, bullies and abusers force-feed them to us over time. Also, well-meaning family members, wanting to keep us humble and sweet, can accidentally wreck our self-esteem.

Consequently, many adults cause a baby to grow up thinking that they are unlovable. They don’t feel they deserve to have their wants and needs met. Thus, they grow up angry or sad and depressed.

Confident Person Example:

Life Has Ways of Eroding The Confidence and Goodness We Were Born With.

We all go through these terrible changes, even those who aren’t bullied. Only few people in this world manage to keep that confidence and joy they were born with.

Furthermore, life’s disappointments, hurts, and heartaches have ways of changing us. However, the worse changes happen to targets of bullying and abuse.

Victims of bullying stop expressing emotions and give up asking for anything. Why? Because other people have conditioned them. They programmed them to think that they’re selfish for ever needing or wanting anything out of life.

Therefore, they resign themselves to the attitude that, things are “just the way they are.” They feel that there’s nothing they can do to change anything.

When you wait too late to tell them about self-love, they wince at the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. Again, other people program them to think that self-love is somehow selfish and evil.

I can relate to this because, when I was thirteen and fourteen years old, I did the exact same when I was first told about the idea of self-love and self-care.

The thought of looking at myself in the mirror every day and making positive affirmations felt weird. In fact, it felt downright sickening.

Why?

Because many of the adults in my life had taught me that stuff like that came from vanity. And that vanity was wrong. But confidence isn’t vanity. It’s a necessity!

Confident Person Example:

Learning to love yourself can be Uncomfortable.

Self-love can feel downright painful after you’ve wasted years hating and degrading yourself. After all, it’s not something you’re accustomed to.

So, anything new and out of the ordinary feels painful at first. Like all things, it must first become a habit. And it can only become habit through rigorous learning and practice.

‘You see? Bullies and abusive people will brainwash you. They’ll put ideas in your head that any form of self-care or self-love is self-serving. In fact, they’ll convince you that they’re abhorrent!

Evil people will keep you under the misguided belief that self-degradation and self-criticism is a virtue. They’ll try to tell you that they’re signs that you’re humble and meek.

Therefore, I thought that was what average people did. And why not? I watched a few family members do the same thing.

Some of my family members still do this at times and it breaks my heart. If only they could see their value. If they could only see what I see. In my eyes, their worth is more than gold.

Self-hatred is the equivalent of a ball and chain. You drag it around everywhere you go and it’s exhausting. Therefore, it zaps your energy.

Moreover, it takes the magic, wonder, and excitement from your life. It keeps you stuck and invites more disrespect and abuse from others.

Confident Person Example:

Self-love isn’t Vanity, It’s Virtue!

Self-love can only come from within, never from without. It doesn’t come from a partner, a spouse, or a boatload of friends.

Moreover, it can’t come from a banging body or fancy clothes, hairdos, or makeup. Money can’t buy self-love. Power doesn’t give it to you and neither does prestige. Self-love comes from the heart and only the heart.

Additionally, self-love is about self-acceptance and being perfectly okay with your imperfections. It comes from being comfortable in your own skin and not caring even the slightest what others think or say of you.

Therefore, to find peace and joy in life, self-love is a must-have. It helps you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams and aspirations.

It determines your outcomes- whether you succeed or fail. Also, it helps you to better re-frame bad situations and see them as learning experiences. Self-esteem and self-love give you peace of mind.

Furthermore, self-love gives you complete freedom! It is the key to happiness and joy! Don’t you think you deserve to be at peace with yourself? Don’t you think you deserve happiness and joy?

Therefore, do what babies do. Love yourself. Know that your true colors are vibrant and never be afraid to show them.

So, dance like you’ve never been ridiculed. And play like you’ve never fallen and scraped your knee. Express your emotions. Love, laugh, and live.

You’ll be surprised at how everything changes for the better! I promise!

This post describes the perfect confident person example so that you can get a better picture of confidence and use it as your guide.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. The Importance of Confidence

3. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

confirmation bias and bullying in schools

Confirmation Bias and Bullying

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‘Want to know how confirmation bias and bullying relate? They relate a lot more than most would think. Here are all the details you need to know.

confirmation bias and bullying

Confirmation bias and bullying go hand in hand. When bullies spread rumors and lies to smear you, they have ways of making the lies look truthful. That’s what confirmation bias is, it’s when people go along with what makes lies look like the truth, even when they know it’s wrong.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can recognize it when you see it.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will know what to look for and you will use what you learned to your advantage.

This post is all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can use it as a weapon to defend yourself.

Confirmation bias and bullying

People will believe what they want to believe. Therefore, no amount of solid evidence will convince them if they refuse to believe it.

Sadly, the only way confirmation bias has anything to do with facts is when they match the belief. If cold, hard facts don’t match the person’s beliefs, chances are they’ll only deny it and look elsewhere for evidence that contradicts them.

Understand that your bullies do the same when it comes to you. They seek to justify and explain away their cruelty and abuse.

Moreover, they find arguments that support their opinions of you. And this only creates bigger problems for you.

What is confirmation bias?

It’s the tendency to recall, interpret, and favor information in a way that confirms a pre-existing belief.

In other words, if there’s evidence that debunks a person’s belief, that person is likely to reject it. Then they’ll search for evidence that confirms what they believe.

Therefore, there’s where the bias comes in. Hence, it is confirmation bias.

Bullies will find evidence to back up their lies, even if they must invent it themselves.

Any time bullies disregard information that contradicts their beliefs, they usually know what they’re doing. However, they don’t care.

All they care about is making you look bad to everyone else.

For instance, your bullies get caught beating the crap out of you. And later, they are standing tall before a member of authority.

They don’t want to face any accountability for abusing you. So, they tell the person in authority that there’s a good reason why they beat you up.

 Therefore, they make up a cockamamie excuse for their brutality. They blame you, saying that you instigated the fight.

They tell the staff member that you started it by spreading a rumor that could cost them their reputations. So, they just had to teach you a lesson.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

CB is another tactic in the bully’s playbook.

Your bullies will have this type of bias when they desperately search for evidence that supports their pre-existing beliefs of you. They will be selective in their stories about you.

They’ll spin the story until it best fits what they want to believe. Therefore, there are good reasons why you should never try to prove yourself to bullies or anyone else. Don’t waste your time trying to clear up any rumors.

Instead, just let them think what they want because they’re going to do that anyway.

Bullies Rarely tell boldface Lies.

Bullies have been lying and telling half-truths for so long that they have it down to an art. Most bullies rarely tell blatant falsehoods. Why? Because the boldface lies are easiest to figure out.

Bullies deceive by telling half-truths and adding their own spin. Therefore, your bullies will deceive by either adding to or taking away from the truth. In other words, they use the “Tiny Grain of Truth Technique.”

This is what facilitates confirmation bias. Here’s how they do it.

Bullies use that tiny grain of truth as a starting point any time they decide to defame you to others. If you are a bully, the beauty of this is that others can mistake it for the whole truth.

With the smallest grain of truth to a rumor, the rumor can be spun, twisted, and completely taken out of context. This not only benefits your bullies, but it causes more damage to you.

Therefore, no matter how much a story has been changed and rearranged, that grain of truth is all your bullies need to make the story believable to others.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

No wonder bullies are such believable liars!

As I have said a million times before, bullies are very practiced and convincing liars.  This is one of the ways they make their lies so convincing.

Again, they rarely tell straight up lies, they only take one tiny grain of truth and embellish on it. This is one of the bully’s most powerful deception tactics.

They Use Distortions and Exaggerations

It’s the same thing, really. Bullies either blow it up, water it down, or heavily distort facts. They conveniently take things out of context.

For example, your bullies begin to provoke you. They keep it up until you get fed up and, in a low but angry growl, tell them to buzz off.

Your bullies then tell everyone else about the altercation, making sure to blow it up, and make it bigger than it was.

They tell others that you started the confrontation. Therefore, they distort it. The truth is that there was a confrontation between you and your bullies.

However, they distort it by claiming that you started it when they were the ones who provoked you. They then exaggerate what happened by telling others that you yelled at them and cursed them out.

 Also, they leave out the part where they kept provoking and pushing you and didn’t stop until you got tired of the bullshit and told them to buzz off.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

They cherry-pick different parts of the story.

Understand this right now. Bullies do this deliberately. They distort anything to shoehorn it and make it fit their narrative.

Bullies will even cherry-pick different parts of the truth. In other words, they select the parts that fit their beliefs and add their own spin to it.

Then, they’ll glue the pieces together to create their own version of the truth and make it sound believable. Therefore, it now fits the bullies’ existing beliefs.

This is the same thing the media does.

Think about it. The media does this all the time. For instance, a witness may pull out their phone and film something terrible that is happening right before their eyes. They then send it to a news station to be broadcasted.

When the new media gets a hold of the film, they will edit out anything that doesn’t fit their narrative.  They’ll only show the bits and pieces of the film that best fits the story they wish to put out.

If they get an audio recording, they will also edit it and create soundbites. Therefore, they’ll only broadcast snippets of the recording that best fits the story they want to tell the public.

It’s all the same.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

Everyone is capable of confirmation bias.

Granted, each one of us looks at things from our own perspective, therefore, we all have a tiny bit of confirmation bias in us because everyone looks at the world differently.

However, bullies will take this to a whole different level. They will twist, distort, embellish, and lie to get the answers they desire.

And if it means denying solid evidence- any solid, concrete evidence which goes to your favor, then that is what they’ll do.

Understand that the reason bullies do this is to discredit you and skew the perspectives of  others. This is all designed to create prejudicial and negative views of and attitudes about you.

It’s so important that you understand the mindsets of bullies, their tactics, and their intentions behind such tactics. Moreover, it’s also important that these tactics have names and that you know those names and how to describe them.

Only then will you be better able to speak out about them and be your own advocate.

People who believe the lies are showing you who you should cut out of your life.

Unfortunately, there will be many people who fall for your bullies’ lies. Some, may even be those you think are your friends.

However, look at it this way. These people are showing you their true colors. They’re showing you exactly who you should cut ties with.

The people who matter will believe you. The ones who don’t believe you don’t matter. Therefore, walk away from anyone who believes any lies and rumors about you. And don’t look back!

It’s the smartest way to handle fake friends who can’t wait to believe the worst of you.

This post is all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can know what’s happening and call it out when it happens to you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

how to outsmart bullies at work

How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

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‘Want to know how to outsmart bullies in ways they’ll never expect? Here are the sneakiest ways you can do it!

how to outsmart bullies

There are ways to outsmart bullies that most people don’t think about.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to outsmart bullies in the sneakiest ways so that you can lure them out in the open and finally expose them for the creeps they are.

Once you learn all these clever tricks, you will be better able to trick your bullies into outing themselves. Moreover, you will not only have the possibility of exonerating yourself and repairing your unfairly ruined reputation, you’ll also be able to defend yourself more effectively.

This post is all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can take back your personal power and your life.

How to Outsmart Bullies

When you trick your bullies, the last thing you won’t to do is to make it obvious. Therefore, here are the sneakiest ways to out your bullies so that you can keep yourself safe while you use your bag of tricks.

1. Draw Your Enemies Out in the Open

We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. However, many are not who they make us think they are.

In life, there will be fakers and imposters. There will be those who infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll figure out everything about you. They’ll suss out your soft spots and most intimate details of your life. T

Moreover, they’ll discover what your goals, dreams and plans are. Then these creeps will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to flush out all the rats? Before we go any further, be forewarned. This won’t be easy.

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief. Here’s what I’m talking about.

How to Outsmart Bullies:

Draw your bullies out by appearing weak.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen. And this is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. No one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when you’re defeated. Moreover, it’s the same even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world.

You’ll be ridiculed, your bullies will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

You can also pull this trick on friends you suspect are fake.

However, this is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing. Why? Because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying.

Very few want to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that. It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king.

But trust me, it is only when you’re at your lowest that you find out who’s really in your corner. And those who aren’t, never were.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your ass, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins. Many will reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect.

Very few people realize who their enemies are until thing get hairy.

How to Outsmart bullies:

When you’re at your lowest, the snakes will shed their skins.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you.

And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being too powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of beforehand.

If you do this right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future. Moreover, you can remove any obstacles to your progress. More importantly, you can make yourself available only to the people who are your tried and true friends.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see what they do.

2. Fake a Surrender.

If your bullies are extremely powerful, it’s best to fake a surrender if you want them to leave you alone. This may not feel good. However, sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first.

Why? Because if you fight back, you might be fighting an unwinnable war. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to do it correctly.

You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor them by fooling them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies love to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be too easy to trick them.

Submitting, for the time being, makes your bullies feel satisfied and powerful. In this, they become easier targets for a later counter-attack.

3. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Use Their Attacks Against them.

You can do this by dragging out the attacks. For example, when they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.”

When you do, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. Therefore, you drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sometimes that’s not wise to do.

This method can be effective in the workplace.  However, it’s much harder and usually takes longer to have an effect. Why? Because adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying.

Respond, Don’t React!

This strategy works much better in the school environment. So, respond. But never react.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking defeated. Why?

Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks over a long time. By doing it this way, you force them to wear them out until they get so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing them.

And once people get tired of hearing it, they’ll no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength.

Instead of winning others over to their side, your bullies only alienate them. Why? Because people get bored after hearing the same old shit for so long.

4. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Rattle Your Bullies to Expose Them

Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!

Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Therefore, say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!

They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.

Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug.

Next, they’ll wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think you’re up to something when you act this way.

Also, They’ll go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.

Here’s another possibility. Your bullies may think you’re making fun of them and get super angry. But, all the better for you.

Here’s why:

  • When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
  • When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something foolish.

If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people. Then get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone.

Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority! Oops! BUSTED!

Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully by allowing others to see with their own eyes. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon and isn’t criminally violent.

Outsmarting bullies is easy if you know the right tactics to use.

This post was all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can expose them without being obvious and take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

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Bullying and Psychological Effects: 10 Emotions Victims Feel

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‘Want to know all the bullying and psychological effects? Here are all the emotions that come with being a victim of bullying.

bullying and psychological effects

Bullying and psychological effects are closely related. Targets go through so many raw emotions. They go from anger, to sadness, to hopelessness and so much more.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the emotions victims feel so that you can know what you’re feeling and know when to get help.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to better take care of yourself.

This post is all about bullying and psychological effects so that you can show yourself compassion and get profession help when you need it.

Bullying and Psychological Effects

If you’re a victim of bullying, here are all the emotions you’ll likely feel so that you can understand what you’re feeling and why. Self-knowledge is one of the steps to overcoming bullying.

Emotions Victims of Bullying Feel

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend. Unless they have experienced bullying, others won’t understand what it does.

It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it. The psychological effects cannot be underestimated!

1. Grief

Once bullies select you as their object of bullying, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get things back to the way they were.

You also grieve the loss of the dignity and respect you once had. Moreover, you mourn the loss of your reputation and good standing. In fact, you’ve lost your entire identity.

You grieve for your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family. There’s nothing worse than to endure grief over a loved one who’s still alive.

2. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Bewilderment

You don’t understand why this is happening to you. You can’t fathom why people are bullying you because you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

You’re shocked that people you love and who you thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred.

In your heart, you know that you’re a great person. You’re fully aware of the good you bring to this world.

3. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Confusion

You don’t know which way to turn. Who do you turn to? How do you remedy the situation? Each time you do something to make things better, the bullying only intensifies. Therefore, you feel stuck!

4. Terror

Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak.

Moreover, you’re frightened of the people around you. You’re scared to make any moves or decisions. Why? Because you know that people will scrutinize anything you do.

They’ll only see it in a negative light. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know what’s waiting for you when you get there.

You know that none of it is just your imagination. They’re all out to get you and if you show up, they’ll only blindside you with another bullying attack.

5. Sadness

You cry in your car to and from your school or your job. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed.

It seems that no one will give you a chance. Therefore, you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene.

They turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness you feel is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Depression

Depression is the lowest point bullying can drive you to. Why? Because it comes from feelings of powerlessness. When you think that you have power over nothing, it’s as if your life has been set to autopilot.

Therefore, you feel like a leaf being blown around in the wind. This is the epitome of hell on earth. Why? Because it seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. It’s the feeling of being bound and gagged.

Bullying makes you feel trapped like a rat. And there’s nowhere to go where the bullies won’t find you. Therefore, it seems that things will never get better.

When you’re depressed, you don’t fight back because you’re exhausted from all the bullying you’ve endured. Therefore, you resign yourself after so long.

After bullying has knocked you on your ass enough times, you want to give up. However, it’s not that you want to quit, you only want a break from the bullying.

Moreover, you want to feel some semblance of peace. You want to rest because you’re so damn tired!

Depression Also Comes from Exhaustion.

Therefore, you lose the will to fight.

This is why bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Understand that when you’re depressed, they’ve already diminished you. Therefore, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

They’ve already accomplished that mission. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep you down. After all, it’s much easier to keep someone on their knees than it is to bring them to their knees.

In other words, it’s always easier to maintain something than it is to change it.

If this describes you, don’t lose hope! Know that things will get better and you will heal. You many need lots of therapy, but you can regain their confidence and feel good again.

Moreover, you can take your life back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, know that there are people who care. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

7. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Rage

This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion you can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows.

Therefore, it festers until you just want to rip the bullies’ heads off and shove them up their butts. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you. It gives you such evil thoughts!

If you aren’t careful, the bullying can make you feel homicidal! In other words, you’ll loathe your bullies so intensely that you’ll just want them all to drop dead.

But please! Use your brain. Don’t allow yourself to snap and take any lives. Instead, think about your future. Moreover, think about the consequences you’d face.

The bullying you suffer will only last for a little while. Therefore, your bullies aren’t worth you ruining your future.

Also, they’re not worth the pain you’d cause the people who love you. Rest assured that, eventually, a door will open for you. And you will be able to transfer to a new school or job where things will be so much better.

8. Suicidal thoughts

It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop. Therefore, when the torture reaches a certain level, death seems to be the only escape.

These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. However, don’t give up.

As long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change. If you hang tough, things will get better and you’ll come out victorious on the other side of it.

I want you to know that if you suffer bullying, things may seem hopeless but they aren’t. Things are going to change for the better. And it will happen when you least expect them to.

9. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

shame

Bullying comes with a high level of shame. Bullies can ritually torment you to the point that you may begin viewing yourself through their eyes.

Toxic shame is, perhaps, the worst effect of bullying. Why? Because once you begin seeing yourself through the eyes of your abusers, that’s when you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

Your abusers’ contempt, disgust, and aversion toward you have rubbed off on you. Therefore, you began to hate yourself.

But I want you to understand that this is what your bullies want. They want you to hate yourself. Because the bullies know that once they finally get you to hate yourself, they’ve won.

Your bullies aren’t dimwitted. They know that you’ll submit to the abuse because when a person hates themselves, they think they deserve abuse.

When a target of bullying suffers from toxic shame, they accuse themselves of sins of which they aren’t guilty. They apologize incessantly over things that aren’t their fault. Ultimately, targets feel guilty for merely existing!

There, you must fight like the devil to keep your self-esteem and confidence. Educate yourself on the psychology of bullies and bullying. Then, you will have the knowledge to empower yourself.

10. You Grow Numb to the bullying

Some people endure bullying and gaslighting for so long they seem to grow accustomed to it. Therefore, they become emotionally numb.

This is one of the most heartbreaking effects of bullying. When the bullying has gone on for so long that the attacks don’t even hurt anymore. You may think you’ve finally toughened up.

However, here’s what’s really happening here. You’ve gotten so used to the torment that the more subtle attacks no longer sound cruel.

Now, some people think that targets are better off when they no longer realize they’re being bullied. But are they really?

In some instances, yes, and in others, no. If you don’t react because you don’t know to, some bullies will get bored with the lack of response and leave you alone.

But others will only bully you worse.

Either way, there comes a point when the target just says, “F it!” and doesn’t care anymore. In order to survive and keep your sanity, sometimes it becomes a necessity not to give a damn until you can find a way out.

The effects of bullying are no joke and you shouldn’t take them lightly. So, get wise to your bullies’ mind games.

I can’t stress this enough! Things may seem utterly hopeless now but it won’t always be this way. This is the time to dig in your heels and fight to keep your self-esteem intact. Whatever you do, don’t give up!

Look to the future because you never know what tomorrow will bring! Things eventually improved for me. And they will for you too.

Know that one day, you’ll finally live in peace.

This post was all about bullying and psychological effects so that you’ll recognize them and do what you must to keep your sanity and heal from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

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How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

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‘Want to know how to deal with a bullying partner? Here are all the details you need to know.

how to deal with a bullying partner

Bullying partners can be dangerous and life-threatening.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about how to deal with a bullying partner. Also, you will learn the tactics they use to make you stay with them and what you can do to escape and get your life back.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will have the encouragement to leave and to take control of your personal safety and your life.

This post is all about how to deal with a bullying partner so that you can recognize the tactics they use to keep you trapped and gather the courage to get out of the relationship.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

Whether you call it domestic abuse or spousal abuse, it is still a form of bullying. Only the bullying takes place in the home against a significant other. The reason this is a form of bullying is because there is a clear power imbalance between the abuser and the target.

 Moreover, the attacks, whether physical, verbal, or psychological, are repetitive. They become a pattern and go on over a period of months, years, or decades.

Domestic Abuse is a form of bullying

The bully in the home, (or domestic abuser) abuses the target verbally, emotionally, and/or physically. They do this to assert power and dominance and keep their partner from leaving the relationship.

If the abused partner succumbs to the abuse, the bullying partner traps them in a cycle of torment. Also, the abuser blocks them from defending themselves and gaining any kind of independence.

If you find yourself in this type of situation, the bully feels they must use force to keep you in line. Why? Because your abuser is a life loser who have no social intelligence and no redeeming qualities.

If the bullying and abuse you suffer is in the late stages, Things can become life-threatening really fast. And you may wonder how things got so out of control. Here’s how.

Somewhere along the way, your abuser learned through experience that being a loving partner didn’t work. Moreover, they may have been taught that calmly talking out any issues, or seduction and soft persuasion were signs of weakness.

Most domestic abusers grew up in an abusive household. They were either abused by a parent or they watched a parent being abused by the other parent.

Nevertheless, they never learned how to love. They never learned social skills and how to use positive re-enforcement. Also, they never mastered the art of charm or soft persuasion.

Therefore, the only thing these pathetic souls have left in their toolbox is the use of intimation, force, and violence.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Here are ways that domestic bullies keep control and dominance over their partners:

1. Verbal abuse.

If you have a partner that subtly puts you down through jokes or offhand comments, it is still verbal abuse. Only you are in the early stages and the abuse is so subtle you hardly recognize it.

However, you must understand that this stage is the safest time to leave the relationship. And the longer you stay, the worse the abuse will get and the more danger you’ll face when you finally do walk away.

 Know that you deserve to live a peaceful life on your own for a while. And when you’re ready to love again, you deserve a partner who respects you. And you should select one who treats you with love.

Again, you owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship before the abuse gets any worse. 

Anyone who screams, yells, curses you, or calls you degrading names does not love you. They only want to exert power and control over you. They may claim they love you but actions speak louder than words..

Therefore, you must find a path of escape and disappear. Why? Because verbal bullying tends to turn physical if you don’t address it.

Do what you must do to get yourself to safety. I realize that it’s hard to leave someone you love. However, if your partner doesn’t love you enough to treat you with respect, you’re better off alone.

At least you can live in peace when you’re by yourself. Also, you make room for someone who truly loves you to come into your life.

2. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Domestic abusers may use Physical abuse.

Nobody wants to be physically beaten. Therefore, many people will submit to a bully just to keep from getting hurt.

However, submission only provides physical safety in the short term. Why? Because bullies and abusers always come back for more.

If nothing else, know this! If they hit you once, they’ll do it again. Like school bullying, workplace bullying, and neighborhood bullying, spousal or domestic bullying can intensify quickly.

It can become a pattern and escalate because bullies and abusers grow comfortable with abusing you. They always pushing the envelope.

In other words, when they get bored with verbal abuse, they will begin to commit “borderline physical abuse,” which is shoving or tripping. Next, they’ll up the ante to blatant physical abuse through punching, choking, kicking.

After that, they’ll progress on to severe beatings. And the beatings will get more brutal until your abuser ends up killing you.

If you are being physically abused, it’s imperative that you call police and a battered partner’s shelter to get help. Find a way to get out of the relationship.

The last thing you want is to end up dead and any children you have to become orphaned.

3. Controlling the purse strings.

Domestic bullies are notorious for keeping a tight fist on any household income. They refuse to give their partners any money for things they need.

Moreover, spousal bullies may prevent their partners from going to work and making their own money. If the abused partner happens to have a job, the abusive partner will demand that they give them the money. Or they may force them to quit their jobs.

Understand that the reason these bullies are so stingy with the money is because they want to control you. They know that having your own money brings freedom and independence.

Your abuser is afraid that you just might skip out on them one day, while they’re at work. Therefore, the last thing your abuser wants is for you to have the resources to live on your own.

And what better way is there to keep you stuck in the relationship than to keep you broke?

4. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Abusers keep control of you by Isolating you from family and friends.

Domestic abusers try to cut you off from your family and friends because they’re afraid of any support you might receive. Therefore, they isolate you from anyone outside the relationship.

Another reason they try to prevent you from seeing the people you care about is that they’re afraid you might talk about the abuse. Moreover, the abuser is scared that your family and friends might advise you to drop them.

And gasp! You just might take their advice!

Therefore, they keep you all to themselves to abuse and degrade at will. Again, you must find a way to get away from this person…fast!

5. Using children as leverage.

Many spousal bullies will threaten to take the children and never allow the abused partner to see them again. I’ve heard and read many stories like this.

Spousal bullies use the love you have for your children to intimidate you into staying with them. Therefore, you stay with them out of fear and they get to continue the abuse.

However, understand that when an abusive partner does this, they don’t really love the children nor want what’s best for them. They only use the poor kids as pawns to keep you under their control. 

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

How to Escape Your Abuser?

If you want to protect yourself and your children, you must find a way to leave the relationship. Otherwise, your children can end up with long-term emotional trauma if you don’t take them and get away.

So, please. I beg you. Get your ducks in a row and leave this person, not only for your own safety, but for that of your precious children.

1. Get Legal and Financial Help.

Anytime there’s physical violence, get the police involved. They may or may not arrest the abuser, but if you make a police report, it will be on record.

Also, there are assistance programs that can help victims of abuse. Look into them.

2. Keep a Hidden Stash of Money, if possible.

Depending on your situation, keeping money hidden away can make it easier for you to escape your abuser.

3. Find People who can help you.

Besides your friends and family, there are organizations that can assist you if you suffer domestic violence. There are battered women’s shelters and government assistance programs that can help you get on your feet.

4. Get Therapy.

Getting therapy can not only help you heal, it can also give you records of any psychological trauma.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

In Conclusion

Understand that anyone who must bully and abuse their partner is highly insecure in the relationship. They are the weak ones. They are the cowards.

If you are the target in an abusive relationship, I want you to know that none of it is your fault. Realize that it’s not your responsibility to fix this person.

Know that you owe it to yourself, your children, and your family and friends to find a way out of the relationship. And you must do it so that you can lead a better, happier, and more productive life.

Moreover, you must leave so that your children, family, and friends do not risk losing a loved one to murder.

Know that you’re worth it. And you deserve to be free of bullying and lead a life of peace and safety!

If you’ve suffered domestic abuse, please feel free to tell your story in the comment section below. Also, if I’ve left anything out, let me know in the comments.

This post was all about how to deal with a bullying partner so that you can know what to look for and have the courage to get out of the relationship sooner rather than later.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3. How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

imbalance of power in bullying examples

Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

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‘Want to know all about the imbalance of power in bullying? Here are all the sources bullies draw their power from.

imbalance of power in bullying

Too many victims of bullying don’t know what to do to reclaim their power. They’re at a loss as to where to start.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the imbalance of power in bullying. You’ll also learn exactly what it is that unfairly tips the scales of power in your bullies’ favor.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back your personal favor and tip the scales back in your favor.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you know where it comes from and you can finally take back control of your life.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying

As most of you know, bullying arises from an imbalance of power. In other words, the bullies have way more power than you do. This is why they selected you as their victim.

However, exactly what is it that determines this power imbalance? Here are 5 sources your bullies get their power from.

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge.

You’ve heard people say that knowledge is power. And they’re right. Knowledge is power. Having knowledge is the first step in problem-solving.

Your bullies get their power because you simply don’t know the power you have. To know your power, you must also have knowledge of your goodness, your strengths, and your rights as a human being.

Power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have. In other words, if you don’t know your power, you might as well not have it.

Here’s exactly what you need to know.

You must have self-knowledge. This means not only knowing your power, but also your worth! Furthermore, you must also know your potential and the good things you’re capable of.

You must believe in yourself. And you must realize that you deserve love and respect just as much as the next person

You must know all about human predators. This means knowing all about bullying and how bullies operate. Therefore, have knowledge of he  nature, mindset, and tactics of bullies.

In short, you must have self-knowledge and know your enemies. Once you do, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of self-knowledge and that of your bullies is where they draw their power over you. This is why many victims of bullying beg for approval.

However, when you seek approval from others, you only hand over more of your power. There’s a name for this. It’s called, “simping.”

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets beg for approval, attention, and popularity. And the sad thing is that most don’t realize they’re doing it.

As a result, you’ll only get bullied worse. Also, people lose respect for you. Even bystanders will mistreat you too. And it’ll be because you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late.

And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Also, setting boundaries is a way to respect yourself. Know your worth and you will know your power!

And once you do, you will be able to defuse bullying like a champ.

2. Naivete.

Naivete and lack of knowledge are closely related. However, the latter comes more from lack of life experiences.

We all have been naïve at some point in our lives. But over time, we grew and accumulated knowledge. This knowledge came from lessons learned from good and bad life experiences.

This is how wisdom is acquired. Some people become sage quicker and others slower. What counts is that we eventually learn. It doesn’t matter the pace.

However, some people take years to learn. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, the learning process takes longer due to the environment you’re stuck in.

Maybe you live in a sheltered home. Maybe you have a secure family and home life. Therefore, you believe that all people have goodness in them.

Again, this is not a bad thing. However, it can mark you for bullying and abuse. It can set you up for someone to take advantage of you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies Can Smell Naivete A Mile Away.

It’s what helps them choose their victims. Any time you’re a target of bullying, you can’t afford to be naïve. Moreover, the sad reality is that most people targeted for bullying are.

And it’s why their bullies selected them in the first place.

When I was young, I was not very smart when it came to people. I believed that all people were inherently good, and I believed it to a fault. I can admit that today.

Therefore, the bullying I suffered years ago wised me up when it came to the duality of human beings.

Most victims hold the same belief. They believe that all people are inherently good. They cannot fathom how anyone could deliberately harm another person without a darn good reason.

In other words, they were raised to believe that things will work out for the best. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think positively.

However, many fail to take into consideration that the world is full of bad people with evil intentions. Also, we live in a competitive world.

And there are people who want to take what we have. There are people who want to hurt us. Failure to realize these harsh truths will only subject targets of bullying to years of abuse.

You must learn to spot bullies before they strike.

Bullies, especially those in power, will always win unless you learn to spot them ahead of time. Moreover, you must learn strategies to counter their attacks.

You can only learn to counter them when you accept the truth that bad people exist in the world.

You must realize that once bullies have their sights set on you, they won’t just disappear. Bullies are very persistent with their goals to harm you and ultimately destroy you.

 This is hard to swallow because we all want to believe that all humans are good. However, the fact is that many of them are monsters. Not everyone believes in treating others as they would like to be treated.

When you’re naïve, you’re vulnerable. Why? Because without people-knowledge, you’ll continue to take abuse. Therefore, you must gain knowledge of the bully mindset. And you must learn the motivations and intentions behind each tactic bullies use.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself and keep them away.

3. Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies also get their power from Your Predictability.

Being predictable is dangerous. Why? Because if bullies can predict your next move, it’s game over.

Remember that most bullies are socially intelligent. They can spot behavior patterns in their victims.

All they have to do is carefully observe you. They look for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. Your bullies closely monitor your reactions to everything. They notice what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you.

Moreover, they study your body language to suss out your moods and emotional state. And when they watch you, bullies leave no stone unturned.

They even scrutinize the way you do things. For example, the way you arrange objects.

Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the bank’s layout and search for any vulnerabilities in the security system. Also, they look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

It’s always best to be unpredictable.

Being too predictable is unwise, especially if a pack of bullies are on your tail. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. In other words, do things as randomly as possible.

I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. However, if you do things people don’t expect, you won’t be so easy to figure out.

Therefore, it’s best to be versatile.

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions.

This will confuse the bullies and force them to back off. In fact, it’ll scare the hell out of them!

Again, by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. Therefore, when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death.

As a result, they’ll either leave you alone or react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next.

Moreover, it’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and behavior patterns of the deer they hunt.

Understand that habits and patterns are the worst things for you. Bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

In closing

you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly.

The attack should come without warning. You should hit them in a way they wouldn’t expect, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns.

 What you want is to lull them into a false sense of security. Then, you can strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!

You can find many more ways to reclaim your power here.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you’ll know all the sources your bullies draw their power from. Moreover, with this knowledge, you’ll be able to counter bullying much more effectively.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. False Sense of Power: Real Power versus the Fake Power of Bullying

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

why do bullies get away with bullying at work

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

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Why do bullies get away with bullying? ‘Want all the answers to this question? Here are all the answers you’ve been searching for.

why do bullies get away with bullying

Most bullies get away with their behavior and it’s a fact we all need to face. They have a knack with escaping accountability and making you look like the bad guy.

Therefore, in this post, you will get all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying.”

Once you learn all about these important details, you will be better able to outflank your bullies when they try to lay the blame on you.

This post will give you all the answers to the frequently asked question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying,” so that you can use this information to your advantage.

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Every victim has at some point asked either themselves or another person these questions.

  • “Why am I always to blame?”
  • “Why do my tormentors always get away with abusing me?”
  • “Why do bullies get away with bullying?”

Here are the answers, and there are many.

1. Bullies are notorious suck-ups.

They have a knack for appealing to those in authority and winning them over to their side. Understand that these types of people are very convincing liars. They use charm and allure to disarm anyone in authority.

Also, most people in authority love it when people suck up to them. And bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they will eagerly kiss ass if it gets them what they want.

 Because they kiss the right butts, supervisors, managers, and HR are more likely to overlook their rotten behavior. They also tend to thumb rides on others’ coattails.

Moreover, in school, bullies often suck up to teachers, principals, and school officials.

Sucking up is one of the reasons they gain power.

2. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re High Performers and scholars.

Many school bullies also impress school staff with academic excellence and being stars of the sports teams. In that, they make the school look good.

Therefore, the school is less likely to punish them. Instead, they’ll accuse you of picking on them.

3. They know people in high places.

Add that to their parents having connections with town and city big-shots, and they have the freedom to bully at will.

Why? Because people will be too afraid to hold them responsible for anything. They fear that their big connections just might come after them.

4. Bullies are convincing liars.

They’ve been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. They have been doing this for long enough that they have learned what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, they are master manipulators who have great skill in the arts of deception.
You must realize that these types are also very good at rationalizing and justifying their unacceptable behavior.

They are wordsmiths and con artists, who often use charm to deceive those in authority.

5. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re masters at projection.

In other words, they project all their faults and shortcomings onto their victims. In doing this, they successfully reverse the roles, making you look like the bully and themselves the victim.

Anytime these abusers face possible accountability for their evil actions, they often cry those crocodile tears to feign victim-hood. This tactic is usually employed by females.

6. They’re charming to the right people.

Consequently, they can use this as another weapon against a victim. Bullies seem to emit an oozing charm. Nevertheless, they have a way of winning people over and making them their allies.

“How are these people able to use their good reputations as weapons?” You may wonder. Here’s a simple explanation.

When the bully has a good name among the majority, it’s much easier for her to fool everyone except you. Others find it hard to believe that “this sweet, innocent, pretty little girl” would harm anyone.

Moreover, take a look at the outgoing guy that everyone loves. No one is going to believe that this “fine young man” would ever beat up a smaller boy unless he was provoked.

7. Because they have so many friends who cherish them.

And the sad reality is this. Even if the bully’s friends did witness them attack you, their loyalty will override their sense of right and wrong. Therefore, these friends will lie for them to hide their bad behavior and place the blame on you.

8. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

There is strength in numbers.

Unfortunately, most bullies have a large number of friends behind them. And people in large numbers wield a cumulative power that can be overwhelming for victims.

In other words, if enough people actively hate a certain person, that person is powerless, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going they may be.

9. They use gaslighting to keep you silent.

They’re good at placing the blame on you to make you feel like you did something wrong by defending yourself. Bullies may also lay guilt trips or hurl insults at you.

Also, they try to convince you that it’s your own fault or that the abuse is just your imagination.
Bullies are masters at this, especially females who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

They will deny their abuse and trivialize everything you are experiencing. “Don’t believe your eyes, ears, nor how you feel. You’re too sensitive.”

And the most effective tactic is to make you look like you have a mental imbalance. Why? Because the tough reality is that there’s nothing that will discredit you more than the mental illness label.

10. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They malign you to destroy your reputation.

They’ll recruit followers and start a campaign of hate and viciousness against you. They will spread rumors and lies about you to turn everyone against you.

Moreover, they’ll even turn your friends against you if they can.

It happens in school, the workplace, and in communities. Many times, this is how bad people retaliate against victims who have the gall to stand up to them.

Bullies hate it when you refuse to take their abuse.

11. They appeal to the self-interests of the school or workplace.

For example, the bullies may excel academically or be stars of one of the school’s sports teams. You must realize that schools have a vested interest in their sports teams and want to win championships.

Why? Because it boosts the school’s image. Also, if the school has a low number of dropouts and high graduation rate, this also reflects highly on the school.

Schools also get recognition for cranking out college-bound graduates. This adds to a schools good reputation.

And if the school has a great reputation, the larger number of students in attendance. Moreover, more parents want their kids to go to this school.

Additionally, the more students a school has, the more federal and state funds they get.
Do you see where I’m going with this?

So, right or wrong, the school won’t take your word over those of its brightest stars and highest achievers.

I want you to realize that in most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about which people have the most power.

Again, most care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

12. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re good at victim-blaming.

Evil people will blame you to protect one another from accountability. Moreover, they do it to protect their reputations.

Here’s something to think about. Most students in school get into two, maybe three fights in their entire twelve years of school. This sounds perfectly normal.

However, too many fights and people will likely label you a troublemaker. Teachers and school staff will see you as a problem child. And this goes whether or not your harassers provoked you.

Destroying your name with the school lessens your chances any chances of anyone listening to you. Your abusers can’t have you running and snitching.

Therefore, they may hit you first just to provoke you to fight. As soon as you hit back in self-defense, the bully draws everyone’s attention to you. And they make it look like you started it.

No one sees them hit you first. But they conveniently catch the tail end of it, when you hit back. Understand that this is how bullies set the stage.

The do this to protect themselves from discipline at school or work. Whereas, you get a bad reputation. Thus, it gives them the freedom to bully you again later.

This is also meant to silence you and make you afraid to report them or speak out about the harassment.

When people give you a bad rap, people won’t believe you when you try to get help.

Bystanders and people in authority will only think,

  • “Why would so many kids have it in for her if she’s not provoking them somehow?”
  • “Nobody likes him, so there has to be a reason that justifies it.”
  • “She’s a lowlife, so she deserves it!”

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

People with bad reputations are the easiest to point the guilty finger at anytime a confrontation arises.

In other words, if people expect trouble to come from a certain place, that is where they’re going to look. Therefore, who’s going to look any further than the child with the worst reputation at school? Who’s going to look anywhere else other than the employee who isn’t a team player?

If you’re the one others suspect, the bullies get off scot-free.
Again, they provoke you to manipulate school staff and save their behinds from having to face repercussions.

Therefore, you don’t only need the confidence to fight bullying. You also need to know all about these types of people and how they operate.

The first step of defense is knowing the mindsets and intentions of bullies and the tactics they use.

13. Relationship is the determiner in many cases of bullying

Many times, if you’re a target of such torment, whether people believe you or not depends on their relationship with you and your abuser.

If the bully is someone they either like or love, they’ll act out of loyalty and take their word over yours. It won’t matter that the other person is in the wrong.

In fact, people may know the person is wrong. They may even witness the person’s bad behavior.

However, they’ll still may take that person’s side because that’s their friend or family member. Another possibility will be that they they dislike or may even hate them. But they dislike or hate you even more.

Therefore, they choose who they perceive to be the lesser of two evils. People tend to believe those they care about the most and disbelieve those they care about the least.

14. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They feign sympathy and compassion for you in front of others.

It’s not easy for people to distinguish between the real bully and the victim. Bad people are good at making you look guilty.

They show only you the worst, most brutal, and evil sides of themselves. And they do it all while showing everyone else their best, sweetest, and most loving halves of their personalities.

Fake sympathy and false compassion are powerful weapons for bullies!

They may tell others, “I feel so terrible for Jackie. I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs before it’s too late.”

These types of people very sweetly accuse their victims of attacking them when it’s the exact opposite. Therefore, they can easily confuse people, causing them to not know who did what to who. This is one reason it’s so easy to blame the wrong person.

15. They’re are in positions of power.

Anytime you’re up against people in powerful positions, it only multiplies an already bad situation. Why? Because people tend to listen to those in power.

Their positions alone give them credit, even if they haven’t earned it. Sadly, people tend to follow these types of people blindly.

My advice to you is this: It pays to have friends and connections. If you don’t have them, find ways of making them. Do it even if you must establish those connections outside of the toxic workplace or learning environment.

Friends may not be able to help you with your situation in the toxic environment. But what they can do is help you feel better about yourself. Moreover, you won’t feel alone.

Also, establishing connections and relationships now may pay off in the long run. Why? Because if people target you at your job, chances are you won’t be working there for much longer.

And maybe your outside friends and connections just may work at your next job. Therefore, life will be much easier there. And you’re least likely to get blamed if you suffer bullying.

This post gave you all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying” so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to not only feel better, but use to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

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Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

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Are you being bullied for being smart? Here are all the reasons you need to know. And these are reasons you should be proud of.

bullied for being smart

Many victims get bullied simply because they’re smart. Many bullies are smart too. However, they like to bully anyone who’s intelligence rivals theirs.

If you fall into this lucky category, you will learn all the reasons you get bullied for being smart.

Once you learn these details, you will feel so much better about yourself. At the same time, you will only pity your bullies.

This post is all about the reasons you’re bullied for being smart so that your self-esteem will get the boost it needs.

Bullied for Being Smart

When you have exceptional intelligence, it can attract bullying. However, don’t feel bad about yourself because you have a gift that few others have.

Both a Blessing and a Curse

You have a sharp BS detector and are able to see through fake people. Moreover, you may have the ability to see and behind their meanness. Realize that you have a special gift.

And you can use it to more easily avoid the pitfalls that bullies, shysters, and con artists set up for you.

However, having this gift can feel more like a curse. Although being awake and alert to lies, deceit, and bad intentions is both freeing and empowering, it can also be an excruciating and alienating journey.

Also, it can be lonely, confusing, and frightening. You often struggle as you try to process the insanity around you.

There is a reality that no one talks about. And that is the suffering that often goes along with having this kind of sight. In fact, you may even grieve for what you thought for so many years was the truth.

When you realize that everything you were taught turned out to be lies, it’s the most difficult pill to swallow.

Furthermore, when the people you once trusted and the principles you had turn out to be false, it can flip your life upside down. Its not easy to ditch the beliefs you once held, and the life you once lived.

Bullied for being Smart:

The Truth Hurts

Having your illusions shattered is never an enjoyable experience. However, with growth comes pain and discomfort and it doesn’t stop there.

With these newfound revelations, you will often find yourself grieving again. You’ll grieve the loss of relationships with people you thought were friends. Also, you’ll be disappointed in them because you thought they were smarter.

You’ll feel alone. Moreover, people will ridicule you. And not only by acquaintances and passers by but sometimes by friends and family! You’ll realize that you never had nearly as much in common with them as you originally thought.

Therefore, again, when you grow wise to bullshit, people will judge and mock you. Why? Because they may not see the things you do. Or, maybe, they do see it but don’t want to believe it.

Instead, they’re either living in denial or they’re too chicken to call it out.

You might even grieve the loss of your own ignorance. Why? Because ignorance is bliss and reality is harsh. Moreover, you might find yourself wishing that you were still just as ignorant as they are. Because, if you were, you’d still fit in with them.

Having the sense to see through all the smoke screens can be a lonely road to travel. There’s no sugarcoating it. Once you wise up to the realities of the world and the people around you, life can be brutal!

Bullied for being Smart:

Most People Can’t Handle the Truth

Furthermore, the ability to dive down into the deepest, darkest rabbit holes and to remain functioning in daily life is a skill that we don’t talk about enough.

I’ve lost many people I thought were friends. However, I still consider myself one of the lucky few. Why? Because most of my family and my small circle of true friends? They get it and they get me.

However, many of you aren’t so lucky. You’re struggling with feeling disconnected from your family and friends and it’s as though they exist in another world.

Just know that you’re not alone. Not only are you not alone, but you also have an entire team standing behind you. We may be separated by miles, but we’re deeply connected in purpose and spirit.

So, hold on to your faith and your dignity. Hold onto your truth and stand on it. Continue to be yourself and to press forward.

Know that we’re here and we’ve got you! Most importantly, know that God’s here and He’s got you!

Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs won’t be easy.

Now, more than ever, we must stand up for our God, our beliefs, and convictions. We must be true to ourselves, our hearts, and to the people who love us. Moreover, we must do it boldly and confidently. We must know ourselves inside and out.

In short, we must have the courage to be different. Why? Because the blessings of critical thinking can be dangerous nowadays.

Sadly, in the last ten years, this country has gotten so divided that people have lost family and those who were once close friends. All because they held onto their beliefs, convictions, and traditions.

I’ve lost a few friends myself. However, I’m not afraid to lose people. It’s only God’s way of removing the people who were imposters all along and never deserved to be in my life in the first place.

Hey! I know it’s hard. However, if some of the people you cared about turned on you these last few years, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. Your beliefs and convictions are yours and you own them. Again, God is taking out your trash for you.

Therefore, sometimes, what is a blessing can feel like a curse. Some blessings require pain and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it in the end. And, who knows? You might end up with much more than you ever lost.

Bullied for being Smart:

Sometimes these things happen so that you’ll see who people really are.

Although quite painful, I truly believe that this last decade was a test. That’s right. It was a test to see if you’re strong enough to stand in your truth, no matter what it may cost you.

Therefore, never be afraid to be yourself, speak your truth, and risk losing people you think are friends.

Why? Because life can reveal so much to you. And among those revelations are the true faces of those you thought highly of.

Moreover, life can shed new light on the true intentions of a few so-called leaders, whom we thought were loyal to us.

Therefore, if nothing else, remember this. You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

Here are 5 positive ways to look at it.

1. Bullies always go after the best of The best

Being the best- having smarts, working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost. A lot of people will resent you. Moreover, they may try to sabotage you.

You must realize that there’s usually a social penalty for smarts. This also goes for authenticity, hard work, creativity, and ethics. In fact, if you have any positive qualities, bullies will likely give you a difficult time over it.

2. Your bullies only bully you out of jealousy.

Jealousy is why peers don’t nominate you even if you deserve any awards and accolades. Also, it’s the reason they don’t recognize you for your successes.

These people may think you work too hard or too fast. Maybe they feel that you’re too passionate. Others may think you’re too perfect or excessively detailed.

Realize that jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance. However, you must see these things for what they are.

 They’re only intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold you back. Peers who are secretly angered by your successes will only undermine by stealth silence.

Why? Because to do it openly would be too obvious. It would look to much like sour grapes. In other words, it would only show that these people feel inferior to you.

And most people are careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

3. Bullied for being Smart:

You raise the bar for everyone else.

When you’re smart, you tend to excel. You may reach heights no one else can reach. Therefore, you unwittingly raise the bar for everyone else.

For example, blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

Again, it’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar. Therefore they raise teacher or management expectations for the rest. They create new goals that are much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

4. Bullies experience your intelligence as their inferiority.

In other words, in you, they see their flaws and imperfections reflected back at them.

Socially, it never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

To bullies, the feeling that someone else is better than them is uncomfortable. Moreover, it nags at them until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

5. Bullied for Being Smart:

You’re not easy to manipulate.

They know that if they try to manipulate you, they won’t get very far. In other words, your bullies instinctively know that you’re smart enough to see through their mind games and facades.

Moreover, when you have high intelligence, you also know yourself. And to know yourself is to trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you trust what you see and experience.

This means that you’re wise to any lies and abuse when you see them. Therefore, you threaten their power.

Bullies hate anyone who has a chance of outsmarting them.

So, never feel bad for being smart! Ever! Know that your intelligence is a gift, and, that’s how you should look at it!

If you allow your bullies to make you feel bad for being smart, allow me to ask you the following question.

Would you rather be bullied for Being Smart or Pitied for Being a dummy?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of bullying and hatred. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls.

People tell you to dummy down because you’re “likely to make others feel bad about themselves.” They tell you to tone it down a little or you just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Bullied for Being Smart:

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues. And they’re only trying to lay their insecurity off on you.

Therefore, realize that your intelligence may tempt some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you.

Again, that’s not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons.

You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You aren’t responsible for someone else’s feelings.

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated. On the other hand, there’s  no dignity in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others may hate smart people, but they pity the foolish.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being a dummy?”

This post was all about the reasons you’re being bullied for being smart so that you can feel better about yourself and continue being an inspiration to others.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

Wallowing in Self Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

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If you’re a victim of bullying, do you want to know why you should stop wallowing in self pity? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

wallowing in self pity

Too many victims of bullying resort to wallowing in self pity when people bully them. It’s okay to feel hurt and it’s okay to cry. However, when you constantly feel sorry for yourself, you only make life worse for yourself.

Therefore in this post, you will learn why wallowing in self pity is counterproductive and that there are better ways to solve your problems.

Once you learn these important truth, you will seek better ways to overcome bullying.

This post is all about wallowing in self pity and why it’s not good for you so that you can begin handling bullying more constructively.

Wallowing in self pity

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

Therefore, allow yourself to feel bad. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you. And don’t allow them to cause you to distrust humanity or yourself!

Know that your bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. I realize that this isn’t always easy.

However, it all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice. It’s not something that magically happens to only certain people.

1. Your bullies are cowards and they’re fighting their own demons.

They’re only fighting the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are.

Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto you to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think  about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate.

They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Therefore, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself.

2. Wallowing in Self-Pity:

Self-Pity is not attractive.

In fact, it’s socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake. And the only thing it did was bring more misery and drive people away.

So, I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

When you begin to counter your bullies’ statements, their words won’t have such an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling. Therefore, you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

No matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you’re an awesome person. That you are the best, and sometimes, people treat the best the worst.

Moreover, you may need to have this self-talk every minute of every day. Why? Because you must do it often enough for it to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you.

Why? Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions. You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

3. Life Isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand.

However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich.

Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not. It’s the luck of the draw.

Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward.

It may take a while. It may require years of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Therefore, empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair.”

4. Wallowing in self Pity:

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. However, you do owe it to yourself. You have every right to pursue and achieve happiness.  And you can make a good life for yourself.

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to get where you want to go.

Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny.

5. No one else will improve your life for you.

Governments really don’t care about you. Though they may try to legislate blessings, luck, and chance, they only do it out of their own self-interest.

Moreover, they cannot legislate fairness. You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life.

You must do it all on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, whining and complaining gets you nowhere. Also, anger and bitterness only make things worse for you.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see people act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere.

Understand that this is victim-mentality. And those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

People need to grow up and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, life isn’t fair.

Sadly, I see many victims of bullying do this. Though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

The only way you can take back your happiness is to banish the word, “fair” from your vocabulary. Then, work toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want.

And once you do, I guarantee that you’ll instantly empower yourself and be much happier.

6. Wallowing in Self Pity:

Complaining won’t help you any.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there’s a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem.

“But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

Moreover, I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

Understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality.

Moreover, you only unleash all your anger and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient must vent every now and then.

Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will only get sick of listening to it. After a while they will lose respect for you.

Also, complaining invites bullying to come your way. Why? Because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. Therefore, all that complaining becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are a victim of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

Wallowing in Self Pity:

chronic complaining also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that.

However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must take action.

On the other hand, if you’re an empath and you hear someone else constantly complaining, it may be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person.

You may be enabling them to complain more. Also, you might be setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload.

As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

7. You only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

In other words, others won’t want to be around you. Moreover, you’ll kill any support you might otherwise have if you took action instead of having a pity party.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You’ll score more points by doing something about the bullying than you will by whining and complaining about it.

When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair. Moreover, you take action by standing up for yourself and reporting it.

And, in doing that, you empower yourself and continue to stand strong. Therefore, if you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

This post was all about wallowing in self pity and why you should take action and find solutions instead.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying