Male vs Female Bullying

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‘Want to know the differences in male vs female bullying? Here are all the contrasts you need to know about.

male vs female bullying

Males and females bully differently. Moreover, there are differences between bullied males and females.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the differences of male vs female bullying so that you’ll better understand ways that members of each sex bully. You will also learn the difference between male and female victims.

Once you learn all about these distinctions, you will know how to protect yourself from both male and female bullies.

This post is all about the distinctions of male vs female bullying so that you’ll recognize these differences and know how to defend yourself in every bullying situation.

Male vs Female Bullying

female bullies

Female bullies can be the most vicious. Why? Because they seem to be better at going undetected than male bullies.

Granted, there are always exceptions to this rule. However, for the most part, this is true. Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying. Females, on the other hand, lean more toward psychological and social or relational bullying.

In other words, females are mostly passive-aggressive with their bullying. However, there is a moral decline in today’s young girls and women. Therefore, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering. They try to ruin their victims’ relationships.

Girls and women also use smear campaigns. They spread gossip and rumors. Moreover, they go on witch hunts.

But, make  no mistake! These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against their victims. Their goal is to isolate their victim.

Female bullies also use projection. Put another way, they project all their shortcomings onto the their victims.

Bullies do have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. Therefore, projection is one of the best ways to keep their own imperfections hidden.

These bullies will also use distraction. How do they do this? By distracting others’ attention away from their own behavior and pointing out the negative qualities in their targets.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Girls and some boys, use psychological warfare. Psychological bullying includes exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors and lies. Moreover, destroying friendships and relationships also counts as psychological bullying.

Also, it can include thievery, invasion of the victim’s privacy and destruction of their property.

If this does not work, females may resort to violence but not as often as male bullies. If girl bullies want to cause bodily harm to their target, they’ll send someone else to do their violence for them.

Female bullies may send a male friend to beat up their victim. Or, they may send a bigger and tougher female friend. The minions will then catch the target alone and physically assault them.

Now, you may wonder how they get these minions to comply. Here’s how.

Bullies get their flying monkey’s to comply by offering incentives. For instance, girls may offer illicit sex to a male friend to get them to do what they want.

On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion into their particular clique. With that, they give them the chance to climb up the social ladder.

They may also offer money.

By instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women toward maintaining relationships whether they be familial, friendships, or romantic.

Many young girls plan to eventually get married and have families of their own.

Therefore, female bullies will sabotage their victim’s relationships. Most girls and women, from the time they are small, dream of one day finding a mate and having children.

Why? Because they have an instinct to nurture. They are more likely to be the caretakers of the family and home.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Covert vs Overt Bullying

Therefore, female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names that attack the feminine virtues.  They call their female victims names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floosy’ and skank.

Moreover, anytime a young lady is called one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Here’s the hidden meaning.

If you are a female victim of these vicious bitches, they call you these names to imply that you aren’t marriageable. In other words, you aren’t worthy of a mate or children. And you are not considered to be a woman.

A female bully wants to brainwash you. This is the reason her attacks are so vicious and repetitive. She wants to convince you that you are worthless.

And she will stop at nothing to make you believe it!

Additionally, she knows that if she can make you believe the lies, there is a strong chance that you will live up to them. We are what we believe.

Therefore, she will try to drum it into your head. And if she does, she will succeed in breaking your spirit. Then, you’ll likely prove her right.

Females aren’t always the weaker sex.

Again, get this straight. Female bullies want you to live up to the names they call you. In other words, if they call you a whore, they want you to be one.

So don’t live up to it! Show her up! However, she will not give up so easily.

Girls tend to hang on to their hatred to the point of obsession. The bullying becomes a ritual. And when you stand up to a bullying woman, don’t expect things to get better.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Male bullies

Nature has hardwired most males to be hunters and gatherers. Therefore, guys tend to be more physical. And why not?

During prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring food home to feed their families. Often, they had to fight off wild animals and human males of other groups in order to survive.

Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression. Therefore, most young men are expected to be strong and tough – to display manhood.

If a victim of bullying is another male, the boy bully will likely use his fists. Moreover, he’ll try to feminize the other boy by repetitively emasculating him.

Emasculation of Male Targets

Male bullies often bully other males. They call their victims names like, “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the male pride. Their goal is to cause them to feel less like men. Therefore, they’ll try to strip the victim of his manhood.

And if the male target speaks out against the treatment, the male bully will trivialize it by referring to the target as a “whiner” and tell him to “man up.”

Other males may see the victim as going against “man-code” if he dares to report the bullying.

And male bullies who are physically violent usually beat up on males and females. However, there are a few cowards who’ll never stand up against another guy. They only beat up on girls.

I knew a few of those types of boys in school.

Male vs Female Bullying:

The Difference between Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective. However, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys.

What usually happens to female victims?

After her peers have bullied her for so long, she feels alone in the world. Also, when she reports the bullying, others usually rebuff her.

It’s bad enough when school staff ignore her pleas, but when members of her own family refuse to listen to her, it’s twice as painful. Once this happens, she begins to feel that no one cares about her.

What Bullied Girls Experience

Bullies shame female victims for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call them names that attack them as women.

People will use their weight and their appearance as a weapon to cause harm. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names bullies call them.

Consequently, some bullied girls turn to sexual and dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on. This usually doesn’t end well.

Male vs Female Bullying:

What Bullied Boys Experience

Bullied boys have it much worse. Many don’t have partners to fall back on because girls expect them to be tough. When a boy is bullied, he isn’t seen as macho. Instead, others see him as a wimp.

Also, people consider it “un-macho” for a boy to report being bullied. Others may tell him to “suck it up.” Why? Because it goes against the male code of conduct.

This can also erode male self-esteem.

Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide

Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it becomes next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

Therefore, no matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullying. We must also encourage them to seek therapy.

Males must also have older males in their lives to remind them of their worth as men. These older men must also re-enforce those positive messages.

We must also encourage females to speak out and get help, as well. Moreover, they must also have older female role models who lift them up.

These role models must instill in them that they are beautiful even if others try to bully them and tear them down. In short, they must teach them to know their worth!

And finally, they must see themselves as targets, not victims.

This post was all about male vs female bullying so that you know the differences in the ways they bully. 

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

3. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

How to Develop Charisma: A Powerful Weapon Against Bullies

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‘Want to know how to develop charisma so that you can use it as a weapon against bullies? Here are all the tips you need to know about.

how to develop charisma

Some people seem to be born with charisma and come by it naturally. But sadly, others must learn it.

Moreover, learning charisma may not totally eliminate your chances of falling victim to bullies. However, it can lessen your chances of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to develop charisma so that you can reduce the likelihood that you’ll continue to be bullied. Also, you can use it as a powerful weapon against your bullies.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be able to not only protect yourself from bullying, but make new friends so much easier.

This post is all about how to develop charisma so that you can make friends and allies easier and ward off bullies.

How to Develop Charisma

It’s true that your reputation can be your most valuable asset. How people talk about you when you’re gone can be the difference between your ability to make friends or not. It’s the sum total of the impression you make.

And first impressions are everything. They set the stage for your future in many areas. With charisma, you’re more successful and you have more positive relationships with others.

Also, you make more money and get faster promotions. Charismatic salespeople score more sales, and win more negotiations and debates.

In other words, charisma allows you to have more influence over the people you meet. And you’re much  more persuasive. Now, who doesn’t love that.

What is charisma?

Charisma is that alluring, magnetic quality that draws people in like bees to honey. Anther word for it is je ne sais quoi.

When you have charisma, you live in the moment with people. You’re focused on them and interested in them. In short, you like them more. And people have a natural desire to be liked.

With charisma, you don’t care whether they like you but you want to like them.

You can have all the good looks, all the fancy clothes, cars, and money. However, all that is nothing if you don’t have charisma. Why? Because charisma is something that’s much more powerful.

How to Develop Charisma:

Some people are born with it.

It’s true that some are just born with charisma. They have that coveted quality that goes way beyond having a pretty face or and banging body. In other words, these people have the ability to create rapport that mesmerizes people and makes them feel special.

They have that super-power that makes others respond to them positively and instinctively.

Years ago, when I was being bullied so horrifically, I would notice the people that seemed to get everyone to like them with little to no effort. Moreover, I despised these people because they had something that I wanted so badly.

I hate to say it. But, I’d give them a hard time out of pure jealousy. Also, when I asked a few family members how I could learn to be as magnetic as them, here’s what they’d tell me.

“You might as well give that up. You either have the ability to schmooze successfully, or you don’t.”

“You’re either born with charisma or you were just tough out of luck! You just have make-do without it!”

“‘Sorry, hun. That is something that can’t be taught! It’s something you’re born with. So, you just have to get along the best you can.”

You can imagine just how pissed off I was at God! In fact, I stopped talking to him for quite a few years.

How to Develop Charisma:

Thankfully You can learn it.

Thankfully, we now know that charisma and the ability to schmooze successfully can be taught, learned, and harnessed.

Charisma is an art, a craft, and you must perfect it. And you perfect it by practicing the charisma-skills you’ve learned on your family and closest friends. Then, you can work your way outward to the people you meet each day.

To learn it, you must read and study the art. Moreover, you must be able to identify the behaviors charismatic people use. Here are the characteristics of charismatic people.

  • Charismatic people enjoy giving others a positive experience.
  • Charismatic people understand how to make people feel great about themselves. So, they make them feel special and important.

The benefits of being charismatic

  • People listen to you.
  • Others give you extra chances.
  • You get opportunities others don’t.
  • Others will more likely forgive you for things they’d crucify others for. Bullies are very charismatic. However, their charisma is fake.
  • You get filled in on secrets others don’t
  • People make excuses for you, and give you the benefit of a doubt.
  • Others go out of their way for you. In fact, many people will bend over backwards for you.
  • You sweep people off their feet- especially potential partners.

How to Develop charisma:

Here’s what charismatic people do.

Those who are charismatic have certain behaviors that draw people to them. Here they are.

  • They seem to like you…a lot!
  • Those who are charismatic seem to value your opinions and beliefs
  • People with charisma seem to give you all their attention and no one else. They have a way of making it feel like it’s only the two of you in a room even if the room is crowded.
  • They make it seem as if you’re the most important person in the room
  • Those with charisma make you feel like a million bucks.
  • They make you feel great about yourself.

Understand that this kind of power is unlimited. So, nurture it, cultivate it, and exploit it! If you want to make your bullies look like the devils they are, you must first learn it!

Therefore, learn it and practice it every day. If you do this long enough, it will some come like second nature. Then, you can give your bullies a proverbial slap in the face by reaching unimaginable heights.

I can’t stress this enough! Do everything you can to develop your charisma. It can be one of the best offenses against bullies!

If you can create that awesome feeling in others anywhere and at any time, you have a gift that’s priceless! And the social rewards are limitless! With charisma, you have the keys to the kingdom!

In fact, you have that je ne sais quoi that most people covet!

How to Develop Charisma:

What is Je Ne Sais Quoi?

What is that coveted je ne sais quoi? Je Ne Sais Quoi is French, and it means, “I don’t know what.”

The term is used to describe a special but indescribable characteristic that someone has. This characteristic is hard to name. Therefore, it’s that unnameable characteristic that attracts people, especially suitors, and puts them under your spell.

When someone has a certain je ne sais quoi, people will usually say things like, “There’s just something about them.”

For example, someone who falls in love will often use that phrase when others can’t understand what they see in the love-interest.

Again, some people were born with this mysterious allure and come by it naturally. These lucky people seem to attract people easily and effortlessly.

Others, like many bullying victims, were not blessed with it. Therefore, they have great difficulty making friends. Shy individuals and those on the autism spectrum tend to have the most difficulty in this arena.

Je Ne Sais Quoi is charisma! But, it’s more than that!

You may be a victim of bullying who has difficulty making friends or finding love. However, all is not lost!

The secret to getting that je ne sais quoi is to understand exactly what it is. And, again, you can learn it! And, once you learn it, you can use it to your advantage.

So, what is it exactly?

Simple. It’s charisma. It’s also social intelligence. JNSQ is a combination of confidence, charm, and charisma. I call it, The Three Attractive C’s.

Therefore, the most precious thing in the universe isn’t money. It isn’t gold or silver. It’s these three traits because they set you on a path of success in every aspect of your life.

How to Develop Charisma:

you must have good self-esteem.

However, to have the three C’s, you must first have healthy self-esteem.

Sadly, many targets of bullying don’t realize this. They want these traits so badly but don’t have the self-esteem to back them up.

As a result, they live a lonely and unsuccessful life. Moreover, they secretly resent those who have it as they sit on the sidelines and watch them have a blessed life.

And, they may resent God for not blessing them with it, which only makes things worse.

Here are a few things you can do to raise your self-esteem and with it, your charisma.

1. Smile!

And by smile, I mean do it authentically. A real, genuine smile is one complete with the crinkles around the outer corners of the eyes.

If there are no crinkles around the eyes, the smile is fake. Realize that you must display confident body language or it’s all for naught!

2. When you’re talking to a person, say their name.

According to Dale Carnegie’s book, entitled, “How to Make Friends and Influence People,” a person’s name is music to their ears. Therefore, saying their name when you speak to them just makes them feel that having a conversation with you is all the better.

3. How to Develop Charisma:

Engage in small talk.

Never talk about anything deep. Great small talk conversations discuss topics such as the weather, sports, movies, music, and current events (just don’t go to deep on the current events).

4. Realize that it’s not about you.

One thing I want you to know right now. People care more about themselves and their lives than they do about you.

It’s just the reality of human nature. Therefore, become interested in other people and their lives. People always love someone who’s interested in them.

Start with doing the above practices and don’t be afraid to learn new tricks. Realize that you will probably need to fake it, at first. So, fake it until you make it!

It’s what I had to do. However, I discovered that when you act confident, you will soon feel confident. And when you feel confident, the fake becomes real.

Practice these things and you will soon be able to raise your charisma level and draw people to you. And once you do that, you’ll be able to schmooze like a pro!

But more importantly, you’ll feel confident as hell!

This post is all about how to develop Charisma so that you can keep away bullies. Also, so you can feel confident and in control.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

Bullying on Reality TV: Why It Teaches People to Bully

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‘Want to know about bullying on reality TV and how it encourages people to bully? Here are all the details you need to know about.

bullying on reality tv

There’s a lot of bullying on many reality shows. Moreover, people, especially young women and girls, watch it and think that this type of thing is okay.

Why? Because many of the stars of reality TV are famous. And many, especially the young will follow these reality stars. In extreme cases, some may even try to imitate them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying on reality TV and how it can influence people to act the same way as the celebrities that grace these programs.

Once you learn all about this important message, you will better understand that, although these are influencers, bullying still isn’t okay.

Moreover, if you suffer bullying, you’ll realize that even celebrities get bullied too and that it doesn’t reflect badly on you but only on your bullies.

This post is all about bullying on reality TV and why it teaches people to bully so that you can realize the damage it can do. Moreover, it will further drive the point that bullying isn’t okay, even when influencers do it.

Bullying on Reality TV

Bullying on reality TV shows as all too common. When people watch these episodes, especially if they’re children and teenagers, many will think that if celebrities do it, it’s okay for them to do it too.

Therefore, I feel compelled to discuss what a poor example these programs set for our young people. Also, parents who permit their children to watch them must be aware of the subliminal messages their children may be receiving.

Bullying gives these shows high ratings.

Sadly, reality series’ that receive the highest ratings also have the highest incidences of bullying. Bullies love drama. In fact, they’re drawn to it like flies to feces!

Bullying brings drama…always! Therefore, the more altercations and confrontations a reality show displays for viewers, the more drama it brings.

And, more drama means the series is more interesting to viewers. The more interesting the show, the more views the program gets, and the higher the ratings the show receives.

Bullying on Reality TV:

Reality stars who bring the most drama receive the highest pay.

The more drama a certain reality star brings to a series, the higher the show’s ratings rise. And how does the celebrity bring the drama? They usually do it by bullying others on the show.

Therefore, the more bullying the audience sees, the higher viewers rate the show. And in return, the higher the producers and network executives rate the bullying celeb.

All because they bring the most excitement. As a result, this guarantees the celebrity a spot on the show’s next season. Also, it promises them a much higher paycheck.

Producers and execs offer the bullying star hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars to keep bringing the excitement. And sadly, many think that seeing someone else get slammed is exciting.

And this goes whether the bullying is happening on TV, on the streets, or online. For example, years ago, when I was in school, a few other people would suffer bullying.

Moreover, every time a blowup would occur, I noticed that most of the other students would gleefully come running. And they would almost trip over themselves trying to get a front seat view of the melee.

I’ll never forget the looks of excitement on their faces when someone would scream, “Fight! Fight!” And everyone would gather around just to see someone get ripped apart!

Bullying on Reality TV:

Crap is king and most people love seeing someone get punked out. AS long as it isn’t them.

It’s the same with viewers that watch reality shows. They watch the excitement of celebrities bullying other celebrities on the show. Then, most of them go off to school or work and try the same behavior on some poor victim they know.

Why? Because they watch bullies on the show reaping the rewards from the trouble they stir up. Therefore, this only encourages despicable behavior!

For example, think of reality stars, like Teresa Guidice of “Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Nene Leakes of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” is another example.

Both of these women are in their 50’s and 60’s. Moreover, in my opinion, they’ve shown some of the most queen bee, mean girl behavior of anyone on television.

Should they even qualify as celebrities?

I don’t know about anyone else. However, in my opinion, watching women in this age group display such girl’s locker room antics is sickening. Also, it’s an embarrassment to my generation of women.

This behavior is unbecoming of women of any age. But it looks downright ugly coming from those in my age-group. You’d think they’d want to be a better example to younger females.

Therefore, parents need to sit down with children and explain that just because they see bullying on TV doesn’t mean it’s okay.

It’s one thing when bullying occurs on movies like The Karate Kid, or any fiction show. Why? Because you know that it isn’t real.

Moreover, with The Karate Kid, there’s a moral behind the story. And the moral is this. If you’re a victim of bullying like Daniel La-Russo, you must stand up to bullies like Johnny Lawrence and the Cobra Kai if you want them to leave you alone.

Therefore, shows like this get a pass.

Bullying On Reality TV:

Most reality shows glamorize bullying.

And we need to let our young know that just because reality shows make bullying look glamorous does not mean that bullying is okay. In fact, bullying is anything but glamorous, especially to victims.

Sadly, producers prioritize high ratings over the examples they set. And it speaks volumes about the society we live in today.

What it says is that the bulk of society apparently has an insatiable appetite for trash. It is glaring proof that in the eyes of a vast majority, garbage is king.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that bullying and peer abuse is so rampant today?

Your opinion may differ. However, there are many perspectives that say that parents and grandparents must forbid kids to watch these types of reality shows. And, if they do allow them to watch it, they must have a talk the children.

They must explain to them that, just because certain behavior is shown on television does not mean it is acceptable in real life.

To Glorify Bullying is to Glorify Bullies.

Reality TV only rewards bullies. Viewers, especially young ones, view this and think that if they bully, they’ll reap rewards from it too.

It also prioritizes poor values. It sends the message that being famous and popular is what life’s all about. And it’s not.

Moreover, it places to much value on being the toughest kid on the block. And there’s more to life than those things.

Bullying on Reality TV:

Reality Television and the present epidemic of bullying:

One of the reasons that bullying has become so out of control in our schools is the overabundance of it in reality television. Again, it only glorifies the abuse of others.

I don’t know if networks have cancelled these programs now. However, those like “Bad Girls Club” and “Jersey Shore” are the absolute worst.

Moreover, The Real Housewives franchise features adults in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s acting like middle-schoolers in a locker room brawl. You’d think grown people would have a modicum of maturity.

But, nope! They often resort to name-calling, bashing others, and yes! Even hair-pulling, shoving, punching, and kicking!

What kind of examples are they setting to our children and teens?

When you watch these kinds of behavior coming from adult influencers, you can’t help but ask. “What kind of example and message are these series’ and their stars sending our children and teenagers?”

Yes. Violence has been featured on TV and in movies for decades. However, before reality television were heard of, TV was not real. Moreover, kids of my generation understood because our parents never let us forget it.

We knew that what we were seeing was only actors playing the parts of fictional characters. Moreover, our parents and grandparents taught us not to try anything we saw on TV. Why? Because they knew we would risk of getting hurt or killed.

Therefore, those my age grew up with the understanding that it was only a television series or a movie, and that none of it was real.

Bullying on Reality TV:

Television networks have run out of ideas. Reality shows are replacing traditional TV

Sadly, television networks have slowly run out of ideas for fictional TV. As a result, reality TV has gradually taken over the airwaves.

TV is becoming less fictional and less interesting. Moreover, it’s sending the wrong message to kids. And that message is that bullying is okay and that you have to be a bully to get ahead.

That to move up in the world, you have to step over another person!

However, what most don’t realize is that many reality stars are has-beens with oversized egos. They’re old, washed-up celebrities who are just dying to stay relevant. They’re trying get that last shot at fame! As a result, they’ve only made themselves lousy role models!

In closing

Most reality shows set a bad example for influential children and teens. And they do it by sending the message that bullying is okay, even rewarding. It isn’t.

What bullying is, is sick and twisted. What it is, is abuse.

This post was all about bullying on reality TV so that you can know that it’s still wrong regardless of who does it or how famous they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims 

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

bullying myths and facts

Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

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‘Want to know all the widely-held bullying myths that you need to bust right now? Here are all the wrong beliefs you need to know about.

bullying myths

People often mistake myths for facts and obscure people’s judgment. Myths can also blind you to bullying behavior, even when it’s happening right in front of your face. In fact, they can even make it hard for you to know when someone is abusing you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the bullying myths that are floating around and the facts that debunk them.

Once you learn all about these falsehoods, you will be able to see bullying exactly for what it is. Moreover, you will learn the facts about bullying rather than be misled by a bunch of myths.

This post is all about bullying myths so that you can better discern bullying facts from fiction.

Bullying Myths

There are many myths floating around about bullies and victims. And they’re wrong. Therefore, you must bust those myths if you’re a victim of bullying and you expect to get a fair shake.

Here are all the myths.

1. Victims are weak losers who deserve bullying.

Despite all the available information about bullying, there are people who still believe that you’re weak if you suffer at the hands of bullies. Moreover, they also believe that you’re a loser.

However, know this! You are not weak, nor are you a loser. In the past twenty years or so, we have found that bullies don’t only target people who are physically impaired in some way.

Moreover, they don’t only victimize those with mental handicaps or those who have difficulty in social situations. In fact, bullies target mostly those who are good people with hearts of gold.

Anyone who is multi-talented can fall victim of bullying.  Star achievers and performers often suffer bullying because they’re exceptional.

However, understand that bullies perceive these people to be threats to their power.

When high-achieving targets outshine bullies, especially those with narcissism, they unwittingly provoke jealousy. Therefore, bullies will pull out all the stops to make them pay.

If nothing else, understand this! Bullies hate to be beaten at anything!

Nobody deserves bullying. Ever! Bullying is harmful and can destroy someone’s life. You must realize that bullies are evil people who are predatory by nature. So, learn to see them for who they are.

2. Bullying Myths:

Bullies are brave, strong, cool, exciting, and in control.

Ha! Bullies are the opposite of these things. Let me break it down for you.

Bullies are brave.

Nope! Bullies are great, big cowards! They’re only good at hiding it. Bullies live by the motto that strength comes in numbers. Therefore, they run around in packs.

They hide their cowardice behind groups of flying monkeys. You will never catch a bully alone because a bully doesn’t know how to stand alone.

The bullies’ followers are there to back them up and do their dirty work. Realize that bullies get their power from an entourage.

Without their wing-men to cover them, they would be powerless.

Bullies are strong.

‘Taint so! Bullies are weak. They only hide it behind aggression, loudness, and false bravado. Moreover, bullies will instill unnecessary fear in you if you allow it.

‘You see? Bullies are notorious bluffs and blowhards. The tough act they put on is a way they hide their weakness.

And your fear is where they draw their power. Therefore, don’t be afraid of these windbags! Stand up to them and do it confidently.

Then, they’ll likely leave you alone and go find someone else to mess with.

Bullying Myths:

Bullies are cool.

Au contraire! Bullies are pathetic. They bluff, they posture, and they’re notorious one-uppers.

Moreover, they always have to be king of the hill and better than anyone else. All of this is a sign of insecurity and self-loathing.

Why? Because if they were secure in themselves, they wouldn’t resort to this type of buffoonery. People who are happy, confident and secure with themselves have nothing to prove.

Therefore, they don’t go around trying to intimidate others to get their point across.

 Bullies are exciting.

They may seem exciting at first, but they get boring pretty quick. Why? Because bullies are notorious for talking incessantly about themselves.

In other words, they brag and showboat until you want to chew off your arm just to get away from them. And they won’t be so exciting when they turn on you.

 Bullies are in control.

Really? Is that what you want to call it? Um…not!

Bullies can’t control their own pathetic lives. So, they seek to control you in order to feel powerful.

And in doing that, they create enemies who hate them with a passion. Bullies may control their victims to a certain degree. And they may put the fear of God in them.

However, they’ll never control what those victims think of them. Because the mind and thoughts are free.

And if they run across someone who has a strong sense of self, what are they going to do then? Some people won’t fall for their guff.

3. Bullying Myths:

Bullying is a normal rite of passage that all people endure.

Not so. There’s nothing normal about bullying. Moreover, it’s not a rite of passage. And there are many people who never suffer bullying.

Therefore, another bullying myth bites the dust!

Here’s what bullying is. It’s perverse, twisted, and sick. Bullying only speaks volumes of the bully’s lack of character. It never reflects on you.

Bullying is always a reflection of the bully’s insecurity, jealousy, and hidden rage. And the more we learn about it, the more evidence we get that supports this.

4. Bullying builds character.

No, it doesn’t. It tears it down and suppresses it.

Bullying instills fear in its victims. It makes them afraid to relax and be themselves. People don’t feel safe when bullies target them.

In fact, being bullied can cause victims to shut down. And they bury parts of themselves for their own safety.

As a result, bullying can lead to low self-esteem and poor mental health. So, stand up to bullies and they’ll likely leave you alone.

5. Bullying Myths:

Bullying is only Darwinism, Natural Selection, or Survival of the Fittest.

It may be a dark part of human nature, but a reason doesn’t equal an excuse. Bullies and their enablers often use this line as an excuse for their rotten behavior.

Moreover, supporters of it say this to normalize this despicable and pathetic behavior.

This is why it’s important not to fall for these myths. You must dispel them to protect yourself.

And never blame yourself for someone else’s crappy behavior. Hold on to your truth.

If anyone rattles off any of the above lines when you speak out against bullying, counter those statements. And do it with conviction!

Other facts about bullying

1. You can never appease a bully.

Never! This goes no matter what you do to satisfy the bullies and no matter how many times you tell them what they want to hear.

If you submit to them, your bullies may go away and leave you alone for the time being. However, they always come back for more.

Bullying Myths:

You can never submit your way out of being abused.

Put another way, the more you submit, the more your bullies will hound you. Why? Because it’s how they get what they want from you.

Moreover, by cowing down to them, you make yourself look weak. And bullies prey on weakness.

Therefore, stand up to them and they’ll leave you alone.

Sometimes it takes a final showdown before your bullies will finally give you the respect you deserve and go find another target to bully. Think of the movie “Tombstone.”

2. Bullies thrive on your fear of retaliation and further harm.

Know that your fear is understandable because it is a natural human response to danger. So, I don’t blame you for it.

However, you must realize that your bullies thrive on your perfectly normal fear response. And they will exploit it every chance they get!

Why? Because your fear has, so far, gotten them what they want. So, why would they stop?

Begin standing up to these creeps! You may face the possibility of getting beat within an inch of your life. But you’ll never improve your situations unless you learn to take risks.

3. Bullying myths:

Bullies only understand strength and power. They do not understand reason, diplomacy, nor politeness.

There are no polite ways to handle bullies.  Also, you can never reason with them.

Realize that bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are.

This means refusing to be afraid to set boundaries. And when you set your boundaries, you must do it firmly and mean it!

Moreover, you cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences.

Why? Because your bullies will see this as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

In other words, they will violate your newly established boundaries just to dare you and prove to you that they can. And when they do, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop!

The consequences must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again, much less mess with you.

This is how you earn respect!

In closing, realize that your bullies want you to believe these myths. They do not want you to know the facts. Moreover, supporters of bullying also want you to believe it because they like to side with bullies. Therefore, do your research. Once you learn the truth your bullies try to hide, you’ll feel more confident in yourself. I promise!

This post was all about bullying myths and facts so that you’ll know that the bullying you suffer is no reflection on you and that bullies are more pathetic than you think.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn 

2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of 

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies 

4. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know 

opinions are not facts quotes

Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

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Opinions are not facts. ‘Want to know why they’re so cheap? Here are the reasons you shouldn’t care what others think of you.

opinions are not facts

It seems the people who know the least about us are the ones who have the most to say.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that opinions are not facts. Moreover, you’ll learn why you shouldn’t care what others think or say about you.

Once you learn these important truths, you will no longer let the words of a bully, or anyone else who doesn’t matter, phase you.

This post is all about why opinions aren’t facts so that you can let others’ snarky words roll down your back and keep it moving.

Opinions are not facts

Facts are truths about you. Opinions are what people think of you.

Bullies talk a lot of crap and put on a fake persona. Moreover, they’re loud and obnoxious, which translates to thirsty for attention and admiration.

“Hey! Look at me! Look at me!”

Their lives are so pathetic that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. It’s all because bullies are insecure and afraid.

They’re scared that someone else is either going to outshine them somehow or make them look inferior. However, should what they think of you ever matter?

What if I told you that your bullies’ negative thoughts of you only reflected those they secretly have of themselves?

Would you believe me if I said that their hatred of you is only a reflection of their own pathetic self-loathing? And that they’re only trying to put it all off on you?

Understand that bullies put on quite a show to look significant and relevant. Also, they must work damn hard at keeping up their images.

When you really stop and think about it, it’s just as pathetic as when someone stuffs their bra or puts a sock in their crotch. Anyone who must expend such an enormous amount of effort to keep the less-than-perfect parts of them hidden can’t be a person who likes themselves much.

Therefore, why should you value the opinion of some buffoon who’s desperate to be seen? Realize that this person’s opinion has no merit whatsoever. And their hurtful words carry little weight, if any at all.

If you know what to look for, you’ll see these people for what they are, and you won’t take them seriously. And when you do, it will buffer you from their attacks and your self-esteem will skyrocket!

Here are 7 reasons why the opinions of bullies don’t matter.

1. Opinions Are Not FActs:

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

In fact, a good majority of them are posers and fakers. Moreover, these imposters account for at least ninety percent of the population.

Therefore, should it be surprising that in high school and in the workplace, everything is based on appearances? Realize that those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the most popular ones in the bunch.

Also, they’re more than likely bullies to boot.

However, most people don’t pay attention to detail. And, they aren’t concerned with facts. Thankfully, there are a few who do. Even during high school, I noticed detail right off.

For instance, in the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. However, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Many bullies do the same thing. They pose.

2. Most of them will bully you over your virtues, not your faults.

But you? You know that you don’t need to be fake and put on any fronts, yet you’re the one getting bullied. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re better than that and your bullies know it. Therefore, because you choose to be your authentic self, they give you a hard time over it.

Your bullies are jealous of you because you have the guts to be yourself. Moreover, you don’t have to work as hard as they do. To keep up fake appearances takes a lot of work.

Therefore, they project their fakery and insecurities onto you. Realize that people who are authentic and real will receive a lot of hate. Those who are comfortable with being themselves, are those most likely to suffer bullying.

It’s just a part of the messed-up world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. In other words, it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

3. Opinions Are Not Facts:

The value you give to an opinion is based on relationship with the person who has it.

“In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try, though!”
~ T-Ronn Hicks ~

It’s a shame that most don’t realize this. But it’s true! When you value someone’s opinion of you, you’re naturally going to feel insulted if those opinions aren’t favorable.

Therefore, value the opinions of those most important in your life. Those people are the one who love you and help to grow and shape you into a better person. These people lift you up and help you feel better about yourself.

Moreover, they encourage you to reach for your goals.  They’re most likely to be your family, friends, and your favorite mentors.

They are those whose opinions you should value.

On the other hand, if you don’t consider certain people important, you won’t value their opinions. Some people do not deserve for you to value their opinions.

And those people are those who hurt or abuse you. Your bullies fall into this category.

4. Bullies and abusers don’t qualify.

I want you to understand that if a person seeks to harm you in any way, their opinions hold no value. Therefore, you should consider them null and void!

They’re of no importance to you whatsoever! Why? Because they can bring absolutely no good to your life!

Again, you should only value the opinions of those who love and care about you.  They are the ones who are down for your good and your advancement!

However, people who continually tear you down, wreck your self-esteem, and belittle you should have zero significance to you.

It doesn’t matter if they are in a high position. And, it doesn’t matter if they’re popular or have the most money. If they consistently tear you down, they’re no good to you.

Therefore, you should just blow them off and keep going.

Defending yourself and valuing the wrong people’s opinions isn’t the same.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t assert yourself if someone violates your boundaries. Because you should! However, don’t let it cause you to love yourself any less.

Blow off the petty put-downs of bullies. Why? Because, more than likely, the insults they spew have no merit in the first place!

I know it’s not easy. Believe me. I’ve been there. It took too many years for me to finally realize this important rule of life, but I’m glad I finally did. Better late than never.

Know that you can do it. Avoid toxic people as much as possible and only keep company with the people who have your best at heart.

You will know who these people are. Your gut will tell you. Moreover, their behavior will tell you. So, listen to that gut instinct and pay attention to the vibes others around you put out!

 You’ll thank yourself later!

5. Opinions are Not Facts:

“If you care too much about what others think, you care less about yourself.”

This is what a fellow blogger wrote a few years back. And, she was right!

When you care too much about what other people think, you become a slave to those people. In other words, these morons own you.

Any time you care too much about the thoughts and opinions of others, you’ll bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll be a yes-person because you won’t have the guts to say no when you really want to say it.

You’ll do things you’d rather not do. Also, you’ll agree with things that go against your beliefs and convictions. You’ll sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it.

6. You’ll lose respect for yourself and others will too.

You’ll fall for other people’s BS and accept crappy behavior from them just to avoid conflict. And they’ll see you as a pushover.

In other words, you’ll be a doormat and lose respect for yourself. And you’ll look pathetic! To put it bluntly, you’ll kiss butt and eat shit all for the sake of approval. Yuck!

You’ll only attract users, abusers, and losers, who’ll only deplete you of time, energy, and worst of all, self-esteem!

Even worse, your submissiveness will come to be expected after a while. And once you do finally get tired of being walked on and grow a spine, people won’t respect you for it. They’ll be offended by it.

‘You see, here’s the thing. If you truly know your value, you don’t have to prove it because you know it’s there. Even better, others see it too. Why? Because they not only sense that others’ opinions don’t phase you, but they can see it in your demeanor.

So, stop caring what bullies and abusers think of you. They shouldn’t even matter to you.

7. Opinions Are Not Facts:

Although they can Affect Our Lives to a degree, opinions are not facts.

This bears repeating. Bullies’ opinions shouldn’t concern you. However, it doesn’t mean they can’t affect you, or even hinder you.

The reality is that the bullies’ opinions of you can have a huge impact on your life. Moreover, you may not want to admit it. And, no, it isn’t fair.

However, the reality is that the personal opinions of other people are often the deciding factor on whether you’re well-liked or hated.

Bullies influence the attitudes of others who otherwise wouldn’t have issues with you at all. Also, the opinions of bullies have ways of spreading far and wide.

They make bullies out of those who, under normal circumstances, would never resort to mistreating another human being. It’s amazing what a contagion effect bullying has on schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

However, don’t let that discourage you. Know that opinions aren’t facts and refuse to care what they think.

Why? Because, nine times out of then, if you don’t give a rat’s ass about others opinions, they won’t affect you. Moreover, others will notice that you don’t care. Then, they’ll leave you alone and go find someone else to bully and push their cheap opinions on.

This post is all about the truth that opinions aren’t facts so that you won’t care so much about the opinions of bullies and other people who don’t matter.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn 

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps 

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See 

4. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

no victim, no bullying can exist

No Victim No Bullying: 10 Reasons Bullies Need Victims

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No victim, no bullying. In other words, there can’t be bullying if there’s no victim. ‘Want to know why? Here are all the reasons bullies need victims.

no victim, no bullying

Every day, bullies fool their victims into believing that they need their approval to have a good life.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the true meaning behind the phrase, “no victim, no bullying,” and why your bullies work hard to brainwash you and look like they have absolute power over you.

Once you learn all about these life-changing truths, you will instantly know that you have the power to run your own life and your bullies won’t be near as threatening to you.

This post will give you all the truths you need to know and make you realize, no victim, no bullying. When you realize that bullying cannot thrive without victims, you’ll be encouraged to stand up to your bullies and refuse to be a victim any longer.

No victim, no Bullying

There are reasons why bullies brainwash you into thinking that they’re all powerful and that they have the power to dictate your life. Moreover, they fool you into thinking that you need them somehow.

They want you to think that you need them! You don’t. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Understand that your bullies need you more than you will ever need them!

You may be scratching your head, wondering what I’m talking about. Moreover, you may wonder why they need you.

Here’s why bullies need victims And why Your bullies need you.

1. Bullies Need You to Demonstrate their power before others.

They use these victims as guinea pigs on which, to demonstrate their might. Understand that, if you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will use you as an example to everyone else that they’re not ones to mess with.

Therefore, other people won’t stand up to them either. Why? Because they don’t want to be another you.

Bystanders would rather the bullies keep jerking you around. Why? Because, at least, they’re not coming after them. Therefore, they watch you getting bullied and think, “Nope! I don’t want none of that!”

2. They need You to feel better about themselves.

It’s no secret that most bullies are the most insecure souls on earth. Why? Because most average people wouldn’t go around abusing other people without a good reason.

If  you’re confident and secure in yourself, you don’t have to do these things. Therefore, many bullies feel bad about themselves. In fact, they don’t feel like they’re good enough.

Your bullies need someone they can be better than. Because, if you’re not better than somebody, than you’re on the bottom of the shit heap.

3. No Victim, no Bullying:

Bullies need a scapegoat.

Your bullies need you to blame their stupidity and bad behavior on. Moreover, they need you to be a dumping ground for all their problems and frustrations.

Also, they must use you as a distraction from their own shortcomings. Understand that if they can project all their flaws unto you, then others will be too busy looking at you instead of them.

Therefore, it’s easier for your bullies to hide their own imperfections by using you as a distraction.

Think about it, bullies are cowards. So, they hide that by making you afraid. Then, you’re the one who looks cowardly.

The use of a scapegoat is nothing new.

It’s as old as time. In fact, during the Medieval Period, kings and other monarchs often used scapegoats to keep their hands clean – or at least make them look clean.

Back then, it was common practice to execute scapegoats for the wrongdoings of kings. Blaming them and putting them to death kept the scapegoats quiet and the kings above reproach.

Therefore, the monarchs could continue unquestioned, and smelling like roses. Bullies do the same today, only in different ways.

No victim, No Bullying:

Bullying and scapegoating go hand in hand.

The purpose of scapegoating is to force another person to accept blame for sins of which you are guilty. Sadly, the person blamed is often innocent. Even sadder is the fact that he’s usually the one least likely to fight back. The person is then punished and sacrificed.

Bullies are notorious for refusing to accept blame for any wrongdoing or mistake. So, they search for the most convenient person to lay blame on- their target. And what’s the victim going to do about it?

The ability to transfer guilt to their victims gives bullies immense power. Understand that bullies depend on appearances to maintain their fake facades of gleaming-white perfection. Well-seasoned bullies must appear to be god-like at all times.

4. Bullies need victims like you for entertainment.

They don’t only need you for their own entertainment. But, they need to use you to entertain others and get a few laughs out of their audience.

Why? Because most bullies crave attention. Also, they want people to admire them. Therefore, they try to humiliate you in public to get those things.

5. Bullies need To Keep You Under their Control.

Think about it. Domestic abusers, who are also bullies, do the same to their partners. They keep them dependent by making them believe that they need them.

Why? To keep control of them. Only domestic abusers keep their partners dependent by keeping a tight grip on any money that come into the household.

Moreover, domestic abusers close their partners off from any job opportunities. They also cut them off from their friends and family who may loan them money.

Make no mistake! This is all designed to keep the abused partner in the relationship.

Abuse is abuse, whether it comes in the form of bullying or domestic violence.

No Victim, No Bullying:

Dictators and totalitarian governments do the same thing to their people.

Socialist and Communist governments, also bullies, want their people to think they need them. And they do so by forcing them to become dependent on them.

In that, they can keep control of their speech, their behavior, and their thoughts. So, how do these tyrannical governments keep their citizenry dependent?

They do it by controlling all the resources – food, the water supply, energy distribution, income and wealth distribution.

Why? Because, if you can keep someone dependent, you can make the rules and tell them what they can and cannot do. Even worse, you can force them to put up with horrible treatment.

Therefore, if you can make someone think they need you, you can force them put up with bullshit that they, under normal circumstances, would not tolerate.

Make them dependent on you for their very survival, and you can control every aspect of a person’s life!

What Do you think you’d have to depend on bullies for?

For acceptance and approval. Also, for the ability to make friends and establish relationships. Yes, many targets of bullying have been hoodwinked into thinking that they should depend on their bullies to have these things.

This kind of brainwashing is how bullies keep you begging for it. They dangle carrots of acceptance in front of your face.

Then, when you reach for those carrots, they jerk them back. And the reasons why bullies do this is to keep you begging.

Bullies want you to believe that you’re nothing without their approval. Moreover, they want you to think that you can’t make friends, find a date, or have any successes without their say so.

In short, they want you to think that they control your very existence

But, make no mistake! This is how they brainwash you to wrest complete control and domination over your life.

If they can make you believe that you’re nothing without their approval, then they succeed in taking away your power!

No Victim, No Bullying:

It’s all about control.

When bullies do this, they keep you afraid to be your own person. Moreover, they keep you scared to exercise your autonomy, speak freely, be creative, and to flourish.

In that, your bullies keep you fearful of standing up to them. They stop you from calling them out on their atrocious behavior and asserting your God-given right not to be abused.

Understand that bullies, domestic abusers, and oppressive governments have the same in common. To control everyone, favor their friends, and destroy their targets.

It’s how they keep everyone dependent and obligated, and, therefore preserve dominance and power over them.

6. Your Bullies Need you for their convenience.

Realize that in the minds of bullies, you and everyone else are only there for their convenience. In other words, you serve their purpose and their agenda. Nothing more!

If you’re exceptionally intelligent, you pose the biggest threat to your bullies’ positions. On the other hand, if you’re naïve, bullies will exploit it to the fullest.

Why? Because they know that naïve people aren’t taken seriously. Also, the naïve tend to overdo their claims of innocence. And others often mistake it as a sign of guilt.

7. No Victim, No Bullying:

They need you to destroy.

Especially if you threaten them somehow! Bullies contain threats by undermining them and wearing them down with constant smear campaigns.

They’re also use exclusion, and personal attacks to lower your social standing.  Again, most smart victims are socially intelligent. They stay calm when their bullies are reeking social havoc around them.

However, if you’re one of those socially intelligent victims, you’ll likely overdo being calm and relaxed. And others may mistake your stoicism for guilt.

Why? Because they’ll assume that your keeping it together is only an act and that you’re hiding something.

8. They need you to take responsibility for their negative feelings.

Here’s another reason your bullies need you. They need someone to make responsible for their negative feelings. They need you to be a lightning rod for their feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and hurt.

And when they make you responsible for their bad feelings, you become the offender who must be punished and eliminated.

9. No Victim, No Bullying:

Your bullies need you to use as a dumping ground for all their emotional issues.

To combat their negative emotions, bullies demand that you take their shit. Also, they insist that you show them respect at all times. And, to bullies giving them respect equals allowing them to abuse you without protest.

Moreover, they also have the attitude that you should do whatever they tell you to do and make them feel powerful.

10. Your bullies need a bottom rat to ensure that they don’t end up on the bottom.

If you’re a target of bullying, they need you to stay on the bottom. Therefore, your bullies will go out of their way to keep you there. Every pecking order needs whipping boys.

In other words, they need easy victories for the higher-ups to collect.

If you are a target of bullying, I want you to understand that bullies consider it crucial that you stay on the bottom. Why? Because bottom rats make them and everyone else look good.

When your brutalize you, everything must appear as if you had it coming. Your bullies need to make everyone think that they were wronged by your stupidity, incompetence, and evil.

In Closing:

If nothing else, know this! You do not need approval from anyone except the people who love you back. If someone doesn’t see your worth, their opinions of you shouldn’t matter.

Therefore, stop allowing your bullies to program you into believe that you need them. Because, in reality, they are the ones who need you. Only they’ll never tell you that.

Lastly, realize that bullying cannot exist if there’s no victim. In other words, no victim, no bullying. Therefore, decide once and for all that you aren’t going to be a victim anymore.

Stand up to your bullies and take your power back!

This post is all about the true meaning of “no victim, no bullying” to encourage you to take yourself out of the victim role and find a more powerful role for yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Being a Scapegoat: 5 Powerful Ways to Put a Stop to It

2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

3. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

how to stop over-explaining yourself

How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use

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‘Want to know how to stop over-explaining? Here are all the mind hacks you need to know about.

how to stop over-explaining

Too many victims of bullying feel that they must explain themselves to everyone. However, some things just don’t need explaining.

Therefore, you shouldn’t explain yourself to people who mean very little to you. That includes bullies and haters.

In this post, you will learn how to stop over-explaining yourself so that you can enjoy more freedom and autonomy.

Once you learn all about these important tidbits, you will no longer feel the need to explain yourself to anyone you don’t owe anything to. As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself and freer to do your own thing.

This post is all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can free yourself from other people’s ignorance and judgments.

How to Stop Over-Explaining

It’s amazing how we waste so much of our time and energy caring about what others think of us. Moreover, these are usually people whose opinions of us have absolutely no bearing on our lives!

I want you to understand that there will always be people who judge you negatively without knowing you. It’s a part of life.

Moreover, those who say the most are usually the ones who know the least about you. So, why do you place so much value on their opinions? Why do you need to explain yourself to them?

Don’t explain yourself to the wrong people

I can understand if the person means a lot to you. Longing to be accepted is human nature and we’re all hardwired to desire human connection.

Also, it’s good to value opinions of our families, friends, and those who love us and want best for us. Why? Because their opinions of us are credible and we value them.

However, a bully or hater’s opinion isn’t credible. It has no value and shouldn’t matter at all. These people add nothing to your life, they only take from it!

So, again, are people who are of no benefit to you even worth the energy expenditure? Should what they think of you even matter?

And do their meaningless opinions have any bearing on your life? Are they a superior at work or school and do they have the power to determine what happens to us?

If not, then chalk their opinions up as just a bunch of noise that you need to mute. Why? Because they aren’t worthy of any explanations or apologies.

And, if you continue over-explaining yourself to the wrong people, you only make yourself a bigger target to them.

1. How to stop over-explaining:

See your bullies’ opinions as a bunch of drivel.

One of sad things about suffering bullying is that others will always stick their noses in your business. Moreover, if you so much as scratch your nose, they will happily insert their cheap two cents on it.

Therefore, chances are that you’re doing all the research on how to refuse to answer to your bullies.

If nothing else, know this! You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse?

2. See your bullies’ unsolicited opinions as tiny power-grabs.

Your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.

Therefore, realize that you don’t have to answer to these ignoramuses. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. And take back your peace of mind.

Again, you don’t have to explain yourself to these pieces of garbage.

Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. They just want to run their mouths to undermine your autonomy. So, you don’t owe those creeps a damn thing!

3. Your bullies are trying to Bait you into a reaction.

Understand that bullies are playing games with you. Moreover, there’s a psychological payoff to these little mind-games.

Baiting you to react gives your bullies satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.

To put it simpler, while you’re wasting your breath, trying to explain yourself to your bullies, they’re smiling inside over how easy it was to get you riled up.

They’re getting their kicks off their ability to make you nervous and afraid. Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.

4. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that Explanations are a waste of time and energy

Why? For these reasons.

  • No matter what you say or how you say it, bullies will never believe you.
  • Most people only believe whatever feels convenient.
  • They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being. However, your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
  • They’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand another explanation later.

Therefore, it’s better just to tell them, up front, that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to step off before turning your back and walking away.

5. See Your Bullies’ Opinions as a mind-Game.

Realize that your bullies get their thrills from knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth pissing on.

Therefore, who are they that you should have to explain anything? Why should you care what they think?

Are they even worth your consideration? They don’t pay your bills. And they don’t sign your paychecks. They damn sure aren’t important to you.

Are they even up to your level? Do they bring anything worthwhile to your life?

Ask yourself these questions and you’ll know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these morons jack shit!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.

It’s difficult not to began rattling off when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!

This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.

6. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

See their opinions as a trap!

When your bullies attempt to interact with you, they’ll try to suck you into the explaining trap. And, no matter how you much you explain things, they’ll only pretend not to understand.

In fact, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Again, most things don’t need an explanation. However, it doesn’t mean bullies won’t try. They’ll do their damnedest to get you to give needless explanations.

And, if you don’t understand how to avoid this trap, they’re have you running on an endless hamster wheel of trying to clear up things that aren’t a big deal.

You’ll only wear yourself out, trying to explain yourself to idiots who aren’t worthy of your time or consideration.

Therefore, realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

7. Realize that your bullies are trying To throw you off-balance

Realize that your bullies only make you explain yourself to keep you on the back foot. They’ll keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you drowning in an endless sea of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

8. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that They can use your explaining To gather ammunition they can fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more they can reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire at you later.

And they may use it tomorrow, or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

9. Know that They Only get you to explain yourself just To trip you up.

When bullies dupe you into explaining yourself, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, you probably won’t be able to keep your story straight. And this will be no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

So, what are the best ways to respond?

And how do you respond with strength? There are several ways.

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

Moreover, you want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Understand that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! This bears repeating. You don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.

Here’s another example. You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

Again, the trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. Use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Sometimes, you have to embarrass your bullies to make them back off.

For instance, when they ask you to explain why you got smart with them, you can ask them, “What are you, five!”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like punks!

You can also ask them, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like complete idiots. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you win!

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and hit them in the gut with it.

However, most victims miss this opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Sometimes, It’s best not to respond at all.

Some things just don’t need an explanation.

Therefore, if your bullies try to get you to explain yourself, you can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work.

But, you’ll come out ahead because you understood that over-explaining isn’t necessary. And you didn’t fall into the explaining trap.

In closing:

So, what will happen when you figure out what your bullies are doing?

Once you figure out where all this bullshit comes from, your bullies’ mind-games will no longer affect you. You’ll get bored with all their shenanigans.

Then, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever,” and keep it moving.

Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake is that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.

Then, your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.

 Therefore, stop thinking you have to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth your time. And stop caring what other people think.

Realize that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.

You’re better off without them. So, do whatever you must do to take back your power and your peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can make yourself less a victim and take back your personal power and your peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

2. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4.  How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

bullying journal articles

Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

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‘Want to know the importance of a bullying journal and why you should keep one? Here are all the reasons you should keep a journal of the attacks if you suffer bullying.

bullying journal

If you’re a victim of bullying, it can have long-term, devastating effects on your life. Sadly, school officials, corporate managers, parents and even law enforcement still can’t fully comprehend the daily torment victims endure.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why it’s crucial that you keep a daily bullying journal and document everything.

Once you learn all about the reasons for keeping one, you will be more proactive in ensuring your safety.

This post is all about the importance of keeping a bullying journal so that you can do your own investigation and build your own case against your bullies.

Bullying Journal

Journals are one of the best ways for you to get evidence of bullying.

Moreover, you especially need one if the bullying becomes physical and you need medical attention. Therefore, here are all the reasons this documentation is important to have.

1. Bullying is Hard to Prove.

Bullies are experts at acting charming and polite in front of other people. However, they do this to hide their bad behavior. This is why people often don’t believe you when you report the bullying.

In fact, they may blame you. They may ask what you did to make the bully attack you.

Why? Because the bully will only rationalize and explain away their bad behavior. Moreover, they’ll make it sound like you asked for it.

‘You see? Bullies are very convincing liars. They’re experts at turning others against you. Thus, you should always keep written documentation of their abuse.

Here’s another reason bullying is so difficult to prove.

Bullies often disguise their behavior as harmless jokes and teasing. Therefore, people in authority probably won’t take it very seriously when you report it.

They’ll just think that you’re too sensitive and need to lighten up.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Bullies are experts at making you look like the bad guy.

This goes back to number one. However, it bears repeating. Bullies can charm the panties off a nun. Here are ways they charm people in authority and make their lies sound so believable.

Many bullies use good looks and impeccable dressing to impress others. In this, they use the halo effect, to their advantage. The Halo Effect is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.

Also, bullies will use your emotions against you. Let’s face it, being bullied can turn you into an emotional mess. Therefore, if you react to bullying with intense anger or crying, bullies will put on a calm and collected demeanor.

As a result, you’ll come off looking unhinged. And people in authority will take the bullies’ word over yourself. Why? Because of the calm, cool front they put up.

Moreover, while looking calm, they’ll point out your emotional reaction and twist it to convince everyone that you’re unstable.

Bullies will also play the victim and burst into tears to gain sympathy from other people.

Seasoned bullies are master wordsmiths. They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Most Schools and Workplaces Protect Bullies.

If your bullies are high performers, they’re able to impress teachers, principals, and supervisors. Therefore, it’s likely that reporting them won’t help

In fact, it might make things worse.

Understand that schools and workplaces look out for their own interests. Therefore, if your bullies impress them or make them look good, you’re screwed.

It’s not uncommon for schools or workplaces to cover up incidences of bullying. The reasons they do this is to protect their precious reputations.

Moreover, they may like the bullies, a lot! So, they’ll hide bullying to protect them as well. There are countless stories of schools retaliating against bullied kids for opening their mouths.

For example, the school might contact Child Protective Services and send them to their homes to break up their families.

Remember that school officials, mainly school board members, are elected officials.

3. IT Gives You Evidence to present in court or tribunals.

The school or company may tell you that they’ll investigate the bullying. However, they either won’t do it at all or they’ll do a sloppy investigation.

Also, here’s another thing you need to think about. Any investigations they conduct will be geared toward keeping their own asses out of hot water, not to protect you.

Therefore, you must be your own detective and build your own case. Keeping a bullying journal is one of the ways you can do this.

In fact, journals are the best way you can gather evidence of bullying.

4. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It Establishes a pattern of the bullying events.

To establish a pattern, you must write in your journal every day. Even if you have days when the bullies leave you alone, which will probably be rare, write those days down too.

This will prove how often these people bully you and will provide prove of that if the bullying is severe and ritualistic.

5. Documenting the bulling gives you a voice.

In other words, it gives you equal say when no one else listens to you. By documenting the abuse, you can tell your side without being ignored or having their experiences trivialized by the bully or anyone else.

Journals cannot trivialize your experiences. Moreover, they can’t invalidate your suffering in any way. Journals are also confidential. Therefore, they’re the safest.

If you’ve tried telling a staff member how people bully you, only for them to silence or blame you, you owe it to yourself to document the harassment in your daily journal.

In short, if you can’t talk about it, write about it! It will probably be the only outlet you have.

6. Your story will be more credible.

Writing your bullying journal is a clear, legible, and organized manner helps you to keep your story straight. Therefore, you’ll look more credible to anyone who’s in a position to help you.

When you’re emotional from all the bullying you suffer, you’re more likely to forget important parts of what happened.

Also, emotions may cause you to ramble when you explain what’s been happening. And, the last thing you want to do is start rambling when you’re trying to report bullying.

The reason for this is that high emotions block your ability to think straight. But if you have your journal, you’ll be more likely to stay calm and tell the entire story.

7. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It’s Admissible in Court.

Keeping a journal gives you a legal record of the bullying. Therefore, In case the bully hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, you’ll have your journal to present to law enforcement.

Moreover, if you have to go to court, you can use the journal as evidence of bullying.

8. It’s good therapy for you.

Keeping a journal is cathartic and therapeutic. It allows you to express the emotions you can’t show any other way.

What to do and what NOT to Do When You Journal

 When you document bullying in your journal, you must think about the quality of the information. Here’s what not to do when documenting in your bullying journal.

1. Don’t be Vague.

Write down everything in detail. Record the what, who, when, where, why, and how. Also, avoid using subjective language. And never write down your conclusions of the bullying that’s been happening.

Examples of vague statements include,

  • She made me feel humiliated.
  • He embarrassed me in front of everyone.
  • He physically assaulted me.
  • They isolated me from everyone.

Focus on what happened and the bullying behaviors you encountered, not what you feel! For example, what do the bullies do? What did they say to you? Write down your bullies’ exact words, complete with quotation marks.

For instance, if a bully got in your face and slapped you, include that in your journal. Those are the bullying behaviors you need to describe. If they yelled at you, cursed you out, and threatened you, write that down too. Be sure to write down exactly what they said to you.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Do Stick to the facts.

In other words, avoid any primal responses. Keep the inflammatory language to a bare minimum. Now’s not the time for emotional writing. Just share what they did to you in the tiniest details possible.

3. Use the 5W Rule (what, who, when, where, why, and sometimes How). 

Again, write down what happened in full detail. Also, record the names of those present when the attack took place. Write down the names of bullies, bystanders, teachers, EVERYONE!

Record the time, date and place the altercation occurred. Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out!

Even if the attacks are minor, you must still record it in your journal. For example, if the confrontation is verbal, write it down.

Why? Because verbal aggression often precedes a physical one.

In Closing:

I can’t stress this enough! Keeping a journal can be the difference between people listening to you or blowing you off.

Therefore, keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.

Also, write everything down while it’s fresh in your mind. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate and end up forgetting a few important details.

Write your daily journal in secret. This should go without saying. You wouldn’t want anyone to see it.

Bullies are known to destroy property and rummage through your belongings. Therefore, keep your journal in a safe place. If you worry about the wrong people finding it and snooping through it, keep your journal at home.

But write in it as soon as you get home, while your memory of the days events are still fresh. The sooner you record, the better.

Keeping a bullying journal is crucial when people bully you. Don’t depend on anyone else to do an investigation for you. Do your own. Gather your own evidence.

Build your own case. It could save your life.

This post is all about why you should keep a daily bullying journal so that you can gather your own evidence and build a rock solid case against your bullies and the people in power who allow them to abuse you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal 

2. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying 

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

walking away from fake friends at work

Walking Away from Fake Friends

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‘Want to know why walking away from fake friends is the best thing you can do for yourself? Here are all the details you need to know about.

walking away from fake friends

Having pure enemies is better than having fake friends. Why? Because with an enemy, you know where you stand with them.

However, fake friends are worse than enemies because they get close enough to you to get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why walking away from fake friends is smart so that you won’t feel guilty about it.

Once you learn all about these important reasons, you will be able to walk away with confidence instead of guilt.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you won’t beat yourself up when it’s time to say adios to imposters.

Walking Away from Fake Friends

Ditching those you thought were your friends can be a difficult thing to do. Why? Because there are feelings of guilt involved. Moreover, you might be afraid of being alone and friendless.

However, if you have friends who are stabbing you in the back and trying to sabotage you in life, it’s the wisest thing you can do.

Don’t drink dirty water because you’re thirsty.

You might look at the title of this post and think, “Well, duh!” So, let me put it another way.

Just because you’re thirsty doesn’t mean you have to drink dirty water. Even if it seems that dirty water is all that’s available.

In other words, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic people just because good people are hard to find.

“Settling for toxic friends because you’re lonely is like drinking dirty water because you’re thirsty.” – Cherie White –

When you finally get enough of being used and abused by fake friends and decide to walk away, you may be alone for a while. In fact, life may put you to the test to see if you’re really and truly done with those creeps.

Even worse, life may decide to drag it out over a few weeks or months just to test your strength. This happens to many victims of bullying. They may ditch the fakes who only pretended to be their friends.

Afterwards, they may be friendless. And they may wait a little while. However, eventually they cave in and go back to the same assholes who treated them so badly.

You may do the same thing.

You may allow your frenemies to sweet-talk you back into the friendship. However, what happens once you go back?

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Patience is a Must!

It’s true that these fakes may be extra friendly. They treat you well for a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month. However, they will eventually go back to treating you like crap again.

Why? Because they see the second chance you gave them as weakness. To them, it’s evidence that you were only bluffing when you broke off the friendship.

You only look desperate, or, as the kids say today, “thirsty.” And ewww! That’s not a good look at all! Cringe is what it is!

Therefore, these fakers only lose respect for you and no longer take you seriously. Even worse, if you get tired of the abuse again and walk away a second time, they’ll only look at each other and say, “She’ll be back. She just needs time to cool off.”

There’s a reason for the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I’m all for giving second chances, don’t get me wrong. Why?

Because people screw up from time to time. However, you should use judgement when doing so. Who is it that you’re giving the chance to?

And have they blown any chances you’ve given in the past? This is very important!

Don’t Give Chances to Those Who Only Abuse Them

Again, second chances are fine. Just make sure you don’t end up giving them a third chance, fourth chance, and so on. Moreover, realize that there are instances when even a second chance isn’t deserved.

Why? Because there are some things you just can’t come back from. So, if you decide to give another chance, make this your rule of thumb.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

The Second Chance is the last chance!

The second chance is always the last chance. If they blow that chance, that’s it and it’s on them.

When it comes to situations such as this, you must stick to your guns. Otherwise, your fake friends, your bullies, and others who are around to see it will only use you as a cat toy.

Therefore, when you get rid of imposters, do it and mean it! Do it with the presumption that you may have to wait a spell before better friends find you.

Then stick it out! Wouldn’t you rather be by yourself rather than with people who only use and abuse you?

If you’re going to be alone anyway, it might as well be for a damn good reason. Because nothing feels worse than being alone in a group!

So, the next time you get fed up with shabby treatment and decide to walk, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic assholes.

Be patient and wait it out! I promise you that better people will come along eventually. Dry spells don’t last forever.

If you hold true to yourself and stick it out, you will have better friends. And they will be people who are worth your time and consideration- people who deserve to have you in their lives.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Choose Quality over quantity

I have only a small circle of friends and associates and I like it that way. I’d much rather only five true friends than to have a million fake ones.

And the truth is that you can have millions of frenemies and fair-weather friends who don’t value you as much as you deserve to be valued and still be lonely. You are no better off than you’d be if you had no friends at all.

But you can have only one friend, two friends, three or five, true friends who genuinely love you, enjoy being around you, and have your back and never feel abandoned.

Quantity is always zero without quality.

You can own a hundred houses, but it does not mean you’re rich. If your hundred houses are all infested with termites, rats, and cockroaches; and about to fall apart, do you really have anything of value?

A hundred cars don’t make a dealership if they’re all old beaters that don’t run. No. What you have is a junkyard.

The same goes with the friends you keep around. You can have thousands of friends but if they all treat you like crap, never have your back, and bail out at the first sign of trouble, they aren’t worth a damn, and you should ditch and switch.

Pick friends who know your worth and who earn the privilege of being in your life.

Signs of Fake Friends

You must add value to yourself and that means that your time and your friendship must come at a cost. And that cost is reciprocation.

If a so-called friend constantly gives you shabby treatment, you must immediately withdraw your friendship. Tell that person to take a walk and to not even look back. That’s how you add value to yourself.

You must teach others how they should treat you.

I realize that it won’t be easy to walk away, especially if you endure bullying and your toxic, fake friends seem to be the only options you have.

Nobody wants to be lonely and friendless. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be friends with a bunch of sorry pieces of shit who only let you down? I know I would!

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Know your worth.

You must know your worth. Know that you deserve more than the crumbs you’ve been getting. Moreover, know that you can have true friends if you ditch these creeps.

Think of it like this: You’re getting rid of them to make room for the better friends you’re about to meet. I’m not saying that you won’t be friendless for a while because you just might be.

And, if you must wait, here are a few things you can do to lift your spirits while you wait:

  • Dive into your hobbies.
  • Spend time with family and friends.
  • Do the things you enjoy doing.
  • Exercise.
  • Treat yourself to a pampering session- get a spa treatment, go on a trip to the beach, etc.

There are so many things you can do that will put a smile on your face. Only you know what they are. Self-care is so important during times like these.

But I promise you. You will meet better people and you will make better friends. And once you do, they will be worth the wait! Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

And always remember. Quality over quantity!

Signs of Fake Friends and what you should do

Nefarious people are experts at hiding their evil. And they do it under the cover of concern and love. Bullies and fake friends are such people.  However, it can be difficult to spotlight them.

After they’ve harmed you, you’re often left shocked and bewildered.

Fortunately, there are signs you can look for if you know what they are. Here’s what you can do to spot frenemies, fakes, and undercover bullies.

1. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Always observe the people around you.

But do it without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment.

Once you do this, you’ll quickly pick up on their moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context.

Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

3. Watch for micro flashes.

If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it or when they think you aren’t aware of it. There are good actors; don’t get me wrong.

However, there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily. And, if you look for it, you’ll see it.

When you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut.

Don’t ignore that because you aren’t only imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Notice the person’s feet

You can tell a lot by the feet! If the person is talking to you, facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.

Put some distance between you and that person.

5. Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.

If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language. And, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say.

Therefore, it’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Looking at you without blinking.

If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

7. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Here are other signs you should look for.

If you notice a furrowed brow or one corner of the lip slightly raised, it’s time to ditch this person. Also, if you see an icy, piercing stare, or they’re smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes), it’s a bad sign.

Therefore, you might want to distance yourself.

8. What if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away?

It’s a red flag. Therefore, you want nothing more to do with these people.

9. Watch what you share

Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly.

In other words, don’t reveal information that’s better off private. And, don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone.

Fakers may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.

10. Watch for eavesdroppers.

If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Don’t talk near corners or open doors.

Why? Because, many times, people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Pay attention to people who walk by.

And if you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and those people aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private. And, be sure you aren’t being followed.

In order to protect yourself, you must keep your eyes and ears peeled and be an avid people-watcher. Only when you pay attention to other people, will you be able to see behind the masks bullies and fake friends wear.

Here are other ways you can spot fake friends.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you can know when to do it and do it with confidence and without feeling guilty.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

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‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

when bullying gets out of control

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

  • “We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
  • “Who’s going to stop us?”
  • “Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

gatekeeper bullying in the workplace

Gatekeeper Bullying: 10 Ways Bullies Act as Gatekeepers

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Want to know about gatekeeper bullying? Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

gatekeeper bullying

Gatekeepers are those who allow only certain people in and keep others out.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about gatekeeper bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn about this sneaky form of bullying, you will be able to find ways to skirt around the gatekeeper and protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying to give you the signs you need to recognize.

Gatekeeper Bullying

This kind of bullying occurs mainly in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, at school, in the neighborhood, or even in the family.

Before we get into this topic, let’s find out what gatekeeping is. Therefore, what is gatekeeping? It is the act of taking control over resources, time, materials, information and chance opportunities.

Again, gatekeeper bullying happens mostly in the workforce. However, it can happen anywhere. Gatekeepers can be individuals or groups. They’re the type of bullies who specialize in letting only certain people in and keep others out of the loop.

As a result, they limit the choices and opportunities of those they deem unworthy and give them all to others. Therefore, understand that gatekeeping is a form of bullying.

Why? Because it’s specifically designed to leave out people the gatekeeper either hates or doesn’t like.

Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are passive bullies.

Why are they passive? Because they aren’t out there, actively doing things to make their victims’ lives hell. In fact, they don’t have to do anything at all.

The problem is not what they do, it’s what they don’t do. These bullies are passive because they take a more indirect approach. Therefore, they’re much harder to detect.

While other bullies are out there, actively doing bad things to ruin their targets’ lives, gatekeepers do their dirt on the sly.

This is what makes gatekeeper bullying so hard to prove.

The weapons this type of bully uses are their talents, resources, time, materials, and their access to information. Therefore, they have the power to either withhold those things or use them as leverage against you. Also, they have the power to control deadlines.

In doing these things to the people they can’t stand, they create undo stress for them. So, what tactics do these people use against you?

1. Gatekeeper Bullying:

They Withhold resources.

These resources could be money or material like paper and ink cartridges for the printer. ‘You see? Gatekeepers like to bully those who are bold, resourceful, innovative, and creative. And if you’re that type, look out!

Why? Because you threaten them. Therefore, these bullies will withhold resources just to slow you down. And when you ask them where the materials are? They’ll only sweetly reply that they either can’t find them or that they’re running low.

Therefore, they’ll make plausible excuses.

But see this for what it is and the goal behind it. They do this to sabotage you on the job. And it’s designed to make you look incompetent or that you just don’t give a crap.

Without the tools to do your job, you appear to be a bad employee. And, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Sally didn’t give you the supplies you needed to do your assignment?

If nothing else, know this! These bullies have a vested interest in keeping you out of the loop.

2. Controlling Your Access to Accurate Information.

This person will control your ability to have the information you need to complete a task. They’ll do this by either completely withholding it or only giving you bits and pieces of it.

For instance, they might give you a five-step process to an assignment when the job requires ten steps to complete.

Also, if there’s a company meeting that starts at eight o’clock, the gatekeeper may tell you that the meeting starts at eight-fifteen.

They may even “accidentally” forget to tell you about a mandatory Zoom call. Gatekeepers may also discourage others from helping you out.

And you won’t think to question it because this person has probably worked with the company longer than you have. Therefore, you’re likely to trust them.

Even if you don’t, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Kathy gave you the wrong information?

You must know the intentions behind it. And the gatekeeper’s objective is to make you look like you can’t do your job.

3. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving Unrealistic Deadlines.

For example, these types of bully bosses may give you deadlines that are impossible to reach. Moreover, they might pile so much work on you that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting it done in time.

And, are you likely to question the boss? Would you have the guts to tell him that there’s no way you can make that deadline or complete all that work in time?

And if you did, what do you think the boss would say? He’d likely hit you with a barrage of gaslighting.

Make no mistake! Your boss really doesn’t want you to make that due date. He wants you to fail. Why? Because it makes you look bad.

4. Controlling Opportunities.

This bully will block any chances of advancement. For instance, you may be up for a well-deserved promotion and get passed over. Instead, they may give it to someone who isn’t qualified.

In fact, they’ll give it to anyone who isn’t you. Why? Because if they gave it to you, they would have to admit that you’re damn good at your job.

And when you’re good at your job, you outshine them. Therefore, in order for the boss to look like he’s better than you, he has to make you look like crap.

5. Gatekeeper bullying:

Controlling Your Life-Chances.

These bullies might throw a monkey wrench in your life-chances. So, what are life chances?

According to EBSCO Research Starters, they “refer to the probabilities of opportunities to individuals in society, influencing their potential for success and upward mobility.

Gatekeepers love to control your life chances and keep you stuck. Why? Because it gives them a rush of power. Also, it keeps them on top.

So, how do they do it? They do it by giving a potential employer a bad reference when you leave the toxic workplace.

Therefore, how do you protect yourself from an undeserved bad reference? You do it by just putting in your resignation, fulfilling the conditions of your two-weeks notice, and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Also, if possible, you don’t put them down as a reference. I know this sounds dishonest. However, if you quit a workplace you were bullied in, it’s never a good idea to even let on to a new company that you ever worked for them.

Because workplace bullies will find ways to block you from future employment if they get the opportunity to do so. Therefore, it’s best not to give them that chance.

6. Destroying Your Chances of Success.

This is what their shenanigans are all about. To keep you from having any successes. Again, the bully’s entire mission is to set you up to fail.

They trip you up, then stand back and smile as they watch you fall on your face. And they pat themselves on the back for a job well-done.

They’ve contained the threat and now they can breathe easier and work in peace, knowing that their little corner is safe again.

7. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Excluding you from meetings, classes, and workplace social functions.

These bullies will also conveniently forget to tell you about any meetings or social gatherings. Moreover, they’ll make sure no one else tells you either.

Why? They do it simply to make you feel like you don’t belong there. Also, they do it to make success feel like it’s out of reach.

8. Adding more steps than needed to do your job.

Bullies may tell you that your job requires more steps than it really does. Understand that they do this to slow you down.

Why? Because you just might make that deadline and upstage them. Trust me when I say this. These people will pull out all the stops to keep you from finishing tasks.

9. They distract you from your work.

Workplace bullies deliberately distract you from your projects with constant interruptions, which are time-consuming. Why? Because they know that if they can stall you, they may cause you to miss a deadline.

Moreover, they may call your office phone with constant memos and reminders. But realize that it’s all a ploy to throw you off your game.

10. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving you meaningless or degrading assignments.

Bully bosses will often take you off you regular work assignments and give you degrading or subservient jobs. For instance, they may select you to clean the office bathrooms.

Also, they may designate you to make coffee runs for everyone else. Or he may give you the task of serving coffee to the rest of the team.

You might even be tasked with emptying all the trash.

However, see this for what it is. He’s doing it to degrade you. In other words, he’s demoting you, only without making it official.

In closing

If you recognize three or more of these signs and they occur repeatedly, it might be time to quietly begin looking for new employment.

You won’t to create an exit plan early in the game. Why? So that you can get out before the bullying has time to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

You must do what you can to protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying on the job so that you can recognize it when it happens to you, cut your losses, and quietly find new employment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

how to stop a bully at work

How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

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‘Want to know how to stop a bully? Here are the mind hacks you need to know about.

how to stop a bully

If you don’t learn the tricks to stop them in their tracks, bullies will continue to steamroll you until you have no self-esteem left.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop a bully by using clever mind hacks almost no one thinks about.

Once you learn all about these mental tips and tricks, you will be better able to more confidently counter bullies each time they attack.

This post is all about how to stop a bully so that you can spare your self-esteem and dignity from being raked over the coals.

How to Stop a Bully

To stop a bully from bullying you doesn’t only take physical strength. It takes a lot of mental power as well. Remember that bullies are mostly bluff.

To call their bluff, you must know what to expect and be ready for it. Therefore, before we get into the hacks, let’s first talk about the reactions you should expect from your bully and where it comes from.

7 Things That Happen When You Call a Bully’s Bluff

When you finally stand up to a bully and call out their abuse, these are the reactions you should expect.

1. They’ll try to avoid the subject.

They’ll change the subject to an irrelevant topic. Moreover, they’ll do it while appearing to be busy doing a task. Females are notorious for this trick.

2. They’ll become irate and go on a tirade.

They may even yell and curse at you. They may turn it back on you and accuse you of having paranoia. Moreover, they may call you mentally unstable, a crybaby, or any other label that discredits you.

However, realize that anyone who becomes this defensive only looks desperate and afraid. Know that this is just another dead giveaway.

Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted. They will get loud. They will scream, yell, and pound their fists, curse, and swear when they fear exposure.

However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate!

3. How to Stop a Bully:

They will lay guilt trips on you.

For instance, if a fake friend is stabbing you in the back and you call them out on it, you’re likely to hear the following.

“Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe XYZ”

“If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”

Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty. Or they’re trying to intimidate you into silence.

If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, then you can bet that they’re guilty. Moreover, if enough people tell you that the person is saying things behind your back, they’re likely telling the truth.

4. They will escalate the harassment.

Bullies do this to either punish you or intimidate you and shut you down. Again, understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed and facing accountability.

Moreover, they fear losing face. So, your bully will stop at nothing to silence you.

5. They will justify themselves.

  • “If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
  • “If you weren’t so ditzy, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
  • “You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
  • “If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
  • “You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”

Again, don’t believe a word of it! Continue calling them out. You must protect yourself by speaking just as loud and with just as much conviction as the bully.

Therefore, make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!

6. How to Stop a Bully:

The bully will slander you.

Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Therefore, they spread rumors and lies to discredit you.

Also, they do it to distract others from their appalling behavior by making you look bad. ‘You see?If the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.

  • The bully can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
  • They can discredit you.
  • The bully can make themselves look like the victim and gain sympathy from other people.
  • They can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
  • The bully gets the green light to bully you again later.
  • They get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
  • The bully gets the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.

Like the old quote goes, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

Slander is designed to protect bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto you. People have used this tactic since the beginning of time!

So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior!

7. They’ll stop talking to you and begin talking about you.

If you have a bully who’s a fake friend and you bust them, they’ll stop talking to you. However, once they quit talking to you, they’ll talk about you to justify themselves to others.

Here is what they’ll likely tell them.

  • “She’s unstable.”
  • “He’s just mad because I called him out!”
  • “She’s so fake.”
  • “She’s too sensitive.”
  • “She doesn’t want to admit when she’s wrong.”
  • “I was just trying to help them.”
  • “She’s just jealous of me because… ”

Again, this person is exposing themselves through their behavior. Therefore, see this as a giveaway and have no more to do with them.

How to Stop a Bully:

Here are all the hacks you can use.

1. See your bullies’ most vicious attacks as a sign of fear and desperation.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? When someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you. It could be something you said, did, or conveyed. In fact, it may be your very presence that bothers the person.

Whatever the case may be, there’s something about you that’s motivating the attacks. However, realize this.

It’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about is the possibility of your taking your power back from them. The bully is also afraid of you becoming independent of their opinions of you.

Most bullies go into panic mode when you stand up to them. Moreover, they really lose it when you stand up to them confidently.

This is because your bullies are scared to death that they’re losing power over you. Any time you call a bully’s bluff, you automatically put them in the weaker position.

Bullies know this and it drives them batty!

2. How to Stop a Bully:

Maintain a healthy and positive sense of self.

Don’t lose sight of your worth. Find ways to maintain your confidence. And, how you do this is to know what motivates your bully to attack you.

Knowing why your bullies do what they do is the best way to preserve a healthy self-esteem when you’re under siege.

3. Refuse to accept your bullies’ definition of you.

And this goes no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

To accept someone else’s definition of you, you must first discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

Also, little by little, you lose the awareness of your emotions each time you allow them to do it. Then, you eventually grow numb.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It also takes mind power.

Therefore, never let anyone else define you. Stop caring what people think.

Bullies may think they know you and they may attempt to define who you are. But only you know the definition of who you are.

By trying to tell you who you are, your bullies attempt to force you to replace your definition of yourself with theirs. Moreover, they try to play God.

So, stop allowing your bullies fool you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

4. How to Stop a Bully:

Stand up to bullies, even if you’re afraid to.

When a bully tries to tell you what you are, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are.” Then, you can walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to them.

Moreover, if the bully challenges you to a fist fight, don’t back down. There’s nothing wrong with hitting back if someone strikes you first.

Even if someone doesn’t hit you and gets in your face, you must assume that they’re getting ready to physically attack you. In this situation, offense is the best defense.

Knock the ever-loving hell out of them.

5. Have a clear vision of your value as a human being.

Know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

This means having a crystal-clear understanding of who you are. Moreover, it means know what you will and will not put up with.

6. Keep company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life.

Only associate with people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities. Keep company with those who know the good you bring to this world.

On the other hand, refuse to have anything to do with those who are toxic. Any time someone makes you feel bad, walk away and stay away.

It’s okay to be selective in who you let into your life. This is how you protect your mental health from unsavory people.

7. How to Stop a Bully:

Hold onto your principles and convictions.

Hold onto your standards. Moreover, stand up for your beliefs, and convictions. Be true to yourself and follow your heart. And do it boldly and confidently.

Don’t be afraid to think critically. In short, have the courage to be different.

This is how you protect your mind from bullies. Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

8. Trust your gut.

Listen to your gut feeling because it will always tell you the truth. Therefore, if something doesn’t feel good, your gut will tell you.

Remember that the sensations of the body never lie. And when something feels off about a person, move away from them.

This is one of the ways you protect yourself from bullies.

9. Set and enforce your boundaries.

This goes back to number four. Set your boundaries. Then, enforce those boundaries if a bully ever crosses them.

If a bully verbally attacks you, don’t ignore it. Counter that attack with a good burn so that the bully thinks twice before messing with you again.

And if they physically attack you, haul off and knock them on their ass.

However, staying strong physically is only part of the battle. Maintaining a strong mind is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Put them together and you’ll be able to stop a bully from ever bullying you again.

This post is all about how to stop a bully and all the ways to do it so that you can protect your self-esteem and live in peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

the impacts of bullying at work

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

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‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

the impacts of bullying

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

 And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

  • That you take things wrong.
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • That you had it coming.
  • That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself.  You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire,  but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You creative a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

 Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

what bullies hate most about you

What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

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‘Want to know what bullies hate most? Here are all the things bullies despise so that you’ll have something to feel good about and use against them.

what bullies hate most

There are things bullies absolutely despise and if you know how to use it against them, you’ll make yourself less a victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what bullies hate most so that you can use it to protect yourself.

Once you learn about these game-changing details, you will be a force to be reckoned with the next time your bullies come for you.

This post will tell you exactly what bullies hate most so that you can use it to your advantage and be less of a target to them.

What Bullies Hate Most

Let’s get right into it! Here are all the things bullies hate most.

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only take it as a personal attack. Remember that bullies are highly egocentric.

They must always be right about everything. Moreover, if they can’t be right, they’ll make it look as if they are. This is how bullies hide beneath a veneer of total perfection.

But why do they do this? For several reasons.

  • They do it to make themselves look better than they really are.
  • The facade of perfection fools people and attracts followers and admirers.
  • Perfection also protects bullies from accountability and shields them from reproach.
  • Bullies can use their so-called perfection as a weapon against their victims.
  • It gives them status and social capital.
  • It gives them the attention.

Understand that when you give bullies any criticism, constructive or otherwise, they see it as an insult to their intelligence. Moreover, it shatters their fake facade.

Again, bullies hate being told they’re wrong about anytime. Therefore, if you want to expose them, tell them they’re wrong. Then, stand back and watch the fireworks!

2. What Bullies Hate Most:

You Countering Their Attacks

It’s because any time you counter a bully, you restore the balance of power. In other words, you take back your personal power, the very thing your bullies are trying to take from you.

You’ll throw them into panic mode. Why? Because, if they lose power over you, they  lose power over everyone and everything.

Moreover, when someone loses power, they lose face. Also, they lose respect. And when they lose respect, they lose credibility, allies, and support.

Then, they will become the bullied. ‘You see? Bullies have an obsessive fear of going from being the hunters to being hunted.

And why not? You aren’t the only person they’ve bullied. There were many others before you. Bullies know that most average people hate people like them. Also, they know that most others are just itching to see them get what’s coming to them.

Everyone loves to see a bully get brought down. And once a bully is brought down, no one will ever allow them to get back up again.

You become a threat to your bullies’ power.

This is why your bullies will pull out all the stops to keep you under their control. If they can’t control you, they control nothing.

Most people are still under the presumption that targets are weak. Therefore, if your bullies can no longer dominate you, others will notice.

And, chances are, the bullies will be at everyone else’s mercy.

In other words, bystanders will look at them and think, “Wow! If they can’t handle a wimp like her then he really couldn’t handle me! This is a juicy opportunity! I can punk this creep out so easily!”

Your bullies then become the new men on the bottom. Gasp!

Why? Because if you can’t overpower the weakest person in the bunch, then you become the new weakest person! Ouch! Talk about a humbling situation!

3. What Bullies Hate Most:

People Who Prefer to be Themselves

Bullies are fake. They have to be to instill fear in those around them. Therefore, they resent anyone who’s comfortable in their own skin. Here’s why.

1. Most bullies are highly insecure

In fact, they’re more insecure than others. When you prefer to be yourself, you’re naturally more charming, seductive, and graceful.

You captivate others without trying. Because of your openness and fluidity, you draw others to you like a magnet.

Bullies are jealous of anyone who enjoys good relations with others.

Not only are bullies insecure, they’re also vain. When you’re authentic, you outshine them without even trying. In fact, your presence, alone, makes your bullies appear less alluring to others.

Therefore, avoid these bullies like the plague. Why? Because they will find a way to destroy you if you stay around them.

They’ll only force you to suppress your natural charm and goodness. And they’ll do it to keep you from looking like you’re better than them.

2. What Bullies Hate Most:

When you chose to be yourself, you don’t have to make any effort to put on a show.

Everything you say and do comes natural. On the other hand, being fake requires a lot of work. There are also a lot of worries that go with it.

 As mentioned earlier, bullies are fake. Therefore, they fear they might slip up and expose themselves somehow. Then, their personalities just might seep through.

Here’s another reason bullies hate you for being yourself. They resent the fact that you don’t have to work and worry like they do.

But no matter what these idiots may throw at you, never be afraid to be yourself. Never hide anything about you.

Why? Because you’ll only lose a bit of yourself each time you put on an act until you lose yourself entirely.

To be fake, you have to work too hard. So, be lazy!

3. What Bullies Hate Most:

Targets They Can’t Manipulate

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll will hate you. My classmates were no different.

Moreover, bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally imbalanced” label. And they do this to discredit you and control how others see you.

 But see this for what it is. It’s a desperate attempt to get you back under their control. Bullies also do this when they can’t find anything else to pin on you.

It only goes to show that they see you as a threat and they’re both desperate and afraid. When you refuse to be manipulated, it sends several messages to your bullies. And these messages threaten their sense of superiority.

  1. It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  2. It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  3. It tells them the opposite of what they think of you- that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak and clueless.
  4. It puts them in their place.
  5. It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  6. It lets them know that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  7. It tells them you could care less about impressing them.
  8. It tells them they don’t matter to you and that you don’t value their insults or do you accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Therefore, they feel entitled. Your bullies despise being told no and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled.

If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships, and the way others look at you.

5. Your Confidence

Bullies despise any confidence you have. Why? Because when you’re confident, you believe in yourself. Therefore, you don’t let others define who you are.

Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. It naturally buffers your self-esteem for personal attacks.

Therefore, you’re more likely to tell your bullies where to stick it when they try to mess with you. And that’s a huge threat to their power.

They may try to push you around one time. But it will be the only time they do it.

It pays to love yourself even when it seems others don’t.

6. What Bullies Hate Most:

Being Called Out

They really hate it when you call them out in public!

Any time you call your bullies out on their bullshit, you expose them in front of any bystanders. Moreover, you do it right to their faces.

Understand that bullies have big egos. And when you call them out, you deflate their egos like popping a balloon!

Also, if there are any witnesses present, you humiliate them. You make them look like weak little punks! And others will notice it and they’ll laugh at them.

They may not laugh right then but once they get off somewhere away from the bullies, they’ll laugh about it behind their backs. And bullies instinctively know this because they’d do the same if they saw it happen to someone else.

7. Being Proven Wrong

For example, you’ve entered a contest and your bullies tell you that you’re going to lose. You ignore them and continue your plans to be in the competition. And you end up winning!

Therefore, you showed them up! Bullies despise it when you prove them wrong. Why? Because you force them to back peddle.

Bullies hate it when you feed them a plate of crow. Therefore, don’t be surprised if they try to get back at you for it.

8. What Bullies Hate Most:

Being Exposed.

Bullies despise it when someone rips their masks off. Especially if that person is you! Understand that they have an image to keep up.

And if you poke holes in their image, look out!

9. Being Stood Up To

This goes back to number two. Again, when you stand up to your bullies, you automatically restore the balance of power.

In that, you put your bullies in a weak position. Therefore, expect them to retaliate against you. Realize that bullies will do anything to restore their sense of superiority.

So, be prepared to dig in your heels until your bullies give up and go find another victim.

This post is all about what bullies hate most so that you can use it to defend yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

nosy bullies at school

Nosy Bullies: 11 Reasons Bullies Pry into Your Private Business

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‘Want to know all about nosy bullies? Here are all the reasons bullies keep their noses stuck in your business.

nosy bullies

When you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will watch you closely, clocking every move you make. Bullies love to stick their big noses into your business. For people who hate the very air you breathe, they seem awful interested in the details of your life.

Have you ever wondered why?

In this post, you will learn all about nosy bullies and why they pry into your business so that you will gather the courage to tell these snoops to mind their own damn business.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be able to better defend yourself against these types of bullies and preserve your privacy.

This post is all about nosy bullies to give you a peek into their minds and use the information to protect your precious privacy.

Nosy Bullies

If you’re a victim of bullying, you’ve probably wondered why your bullies can’t keep their big, fat noses out of your personal life.

You have the nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life. Maybe, you’re having problems with the  workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do.

Or, you know the spying neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window to spy on the neighbors outside.

Whoever they are, they’re bullying the crap out of you. Moreover, these kinds of bullies can be a real hemorrhoid when you want to be left alone and live your life in peace.

Here are all the reasons your bullies can’t stop spying on you. Moreover, they’re the same reasons your bullies ask you such personal questions.

1. Your bullies want to get information they can use against you later.

Most nosy people are, in fact, gossips, busybodies and buttinskies.

A nosy bully may ask you how much you get paid every week.  I know. The nerve! Right? However, you must know why they ask you this question.

They’re trying to gauge whether they should feel jealous of you or better than you. For instance, if your income is low, than they can feel better than you and use the information to ridicule you.

If your income is high, they’ll be jealous of you and talk smack about you just to bring you down a few notches.

Therefore, if someone asks you such personal questions, politely tell them that they’re getting too personal. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you don’t share such private information with anyone.

Then walk away and never have anything to do with this person.

2. Nosy Bullies:

They personally want to see you mess up.

Bullies will watch you closely, waiting with bated breath, for you to screw up somehow. Moreover, they’ll listen in on your conversations, hoping you’ll say the wrong things.

We all make blunders every now and them. You will too, eventually. And your bullies will be right there to pick it up and use your gaffe against you.

Realize that bullies love to see you goof because it gives them the ammo they need to ridicule you with.

3. To see who you associate with.

If you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will want to know who you associate with. Why? Because they want to know who to turn against you.

Think about it. A salesperson must know who his target audience is. It’s the same with bullies. They need to know who to target with their smear campaigns against you.

4. For gossip.

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. The purpose of gossip is to control your status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.

Another purpose is to justify bullying you by convincing others that you don’t deserve respect.

Also, it tightens group connections. And it gives higher status to the people who are privy to the negative information. Moreover, it sets expectations in the group as to how they should treat you.

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social infrastructures. Gossip promotes unity and shared enmity. With the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility.

Therefore, it gives bullies a way to feel better about abusing you. Why? Because they can say that you deserve it and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Your bullies may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask others to inform them of any new information and updates about you.

Realize that gossip provides bullies reaffirmations that they’re right about you.

5. Nosy Bullies:

They want to find your weaknesses.

You can’t find your enemy’s vulnerabilities unless you get information on them. Therefore, this is another reason your bullies ask personal questions and watch you closely.

Once they find your weak spots, they can easily weaponize them.

6. For future blackmail (leverage).

If your bullies want to make you do something you don’t want to do, they can use anything negative information they find.

For instance, you’re a successful businessman who has to travel frequently. During one of your out of town trips, you cheated on your wife a few years ago.

She still doesn’t know about it. However, your bullies catch wind of it. Later, they decide they want to make you do something that’s against the best interests of you and your business.

Therefore, they threaten to tell your wife all about it if you don’t do what they want you to do.

7. To humiliate you.

Your bullies will ask you some of the most embarrassing questions.

  • “Have you started your period yet?”
  • “Are you a virgin?”
  • “How is your boyfriend in bed?”

The audacity of them will leave you scratching your head because you just can’t believe that anyone would have the chutzpah. Especially if you were raised to mind your own business

Moreover, these kinds of questions will make you cringe! They might even upset you. You may tell them to get a life or just storm off without saying anything to them.

However, the best way to handle these people is to  laugh, make fun of and humiliate them. And enjoy it.

I guarantee you that if you handle it like this, your bullies will never do it again!

8. Nosy Bullies:

For revenge.

Bullies often want to get back at you because they feel you slighted them somehow in the past. Therefore, they’ll dig for any dirt they can find about you.

And, once they find it, they will spread it around just to teach you a lesson.

9. To sow discord between you and others.

Nosy bullies love sowing discord among other people. They just can’t seem to get enough drama. In fact, they thrive on it.

These individuals always have their ear cocked, listening in on your conversations with others. They listen specifically for anything you might say about someone else.

Why? So they can go back to the person you’re talking about and tell them what you’re saying about them.

In fact, what you say may be innocent enough. You may be legitimately concerned about Kathy’s health and may be talking to mutual friends of you both. And these friends may be equally concerned.

However, once your bullies overhear all of you talking, they’ll go back to Kathy and tell her only the parts that suit them. In other words, they’ll twist the story to make it look like you and the rest of her friends have evil intentions behind it.

And before you know it, all hell breaks loose.

Bullies get a kick out of watching others tear each other down. The more they stir shit, the more it stinks. And the more it stinks, the better they smell.

Therefore, the next time someone tries to turn you against a friend, ask yourself who the division would benefit most. You, your friend or the instigator?

Also., you can ask the same question if someone tries to turn a friend against you.

10. Nosy Bullies:

For cheap thrills.

Bullies may ask you personal questions because they know that you don’t know any better. This often happens to victims who are on the Autism spectrum.

Evil creeps ask them embarrassing questions because anyone with ASD likely doesn’t realize they’re humiliating. Therefore, when they answer innocently, the bullies get to watch the person unknowing humiliate themself.

The bullies then get their fun out of it, laughing and ridiculing the person.

11. Just to have power over you.

Make no mistake! Any time, a nosy person searches for intimate details about your life, the end goal is power and control!

In other words, their having a constant nose stuck in your private business can be a form of attempted control.

Why? Because they can’t seem to control their own lives. Therefore, they wish to control yours. And they do it for nothing more than to cause an annoyance or embarrassment.

Even in the adult world, you’re going to have people who have more nerve than a bad tooth. In other words, there will be those who will pry into your business and openly ask you embarrassing questions.

Therefore, you might as well prepare for it now. Why? Because these kids of creeps are everywhere!

How can nosy bullies be so brazen with their questions?

When these idiots ask you such personal questions, they may shock the living crap out of you. After all, you’re the type who knows that asking such questions is shameful.

Here’s why some people have no shame in their intrusiveness.

Most of them are raised in nosy families.

In other words, many of these people had parents who were the same way. They had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

I know this because, years ago, I had a next door neighbor who was the same way. We all nicknamed her, “Mrs. I-Spy.”

This woman would sit on her front porch and watch who came in and out of the other neighbors’ houses. She would even have her ten-year-old granddaughter watch everyone, then report back to her.

Therefore, nosiness is generational and tends to run in families.

How do nosy bullies get you to talk?

They Air their dirty laundry to get you to air yours.

Beware the big mouth who airs their dirty laundry.

If you’re a target of bullying, another type of person you should be aware of is the big mouth. These people give you their own personal details, hoping that you’ll give them some of yours.

However, be forewarned! If they tell their private business, they’ll tell yours too.

Here are the red flag topics they talk about.

  •  Their messy home life.
  • A philandering husband.
  • Their lazy wife who keeps a nasty house.
  • Unruly and disrespectful kids they might have.
  • Getting toilet-hugging drunk at a bar.
  • Intimate details about their sex life (Yikes!).
  • Details about their bodily functions (Yuck! Gross! Barf!).

Again, if they will trumpet embarrassing details about their own lives, you can bet dollars to doughnuts they’ll talk about yours. Therefore, keep your private business to yourself!

Any personal details about themselves that make you want to “call Ralph,” should especially make you want to run for your life!

Therefore, avoid these people at all costs. Not only will they embarrass the crap out of you, but they’ll dig for information about you that’s equally humiliating.

In Closing

Those who are nosy are usually toxic people.

Be aware that your bullies may not be so blatant with their personal questions. Many may be subtle and you might mistake it for curiosity instead of nosiness.

Nevertheless, realize that anybody who openly asks you such personal questions about your life has no respect for you. Therefore, politely end the conversation, and excuse yourself.

In fact, you should wave these morons away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

And you don’t have to get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them. Because it’s those types who really need to get a life.

Or, if you’re a smart-ass like I am, take the opportunity to have a little fun with them. Just catch it, throw it back at them and shame them with it. And why not? They asked for it.

This post was all about nosy bullies, their shameful questions, and why they ask them so that you know what to look for and how to respond.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person