‘Want to know what you should do if you endure physical bullying. Here are the self-protection measures I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.
Being punched, kicked, choked, and shoved plagues millions of victims in school, at work, in the neighborhood, and in the home each year.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the physical bully. Moreover, you’ll discover the mindset behind this kind of abuse.
Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be better able to protect yourself against them. Here is what you can do if a bully thinks they’re entitled to put their hands on you.
This post is all about physical bullying so that you can know what’s behind it and how to defend against it.
First, let’s learn the exact mindset and motives of this dangerous type of abuse.
The Psychology Behind Physical Bullying
These types of bullies use force because of an inner sense that they otherwise would have no influence over people. When people dare to disagree with, defy, thwart, or worse, ignore them, they automatically think:
- “Nobody will listen to me.”
- “I can’t get anywhere with anyone.”
- “They don’t value me.”
- “They don’t respect me.”
- “I can’t get any cooperation out of anyone.”
- “I can’t get any satisfaction.”
And the list goes on and on…
This causes them to feel weak and defeated. Therefore, they use force and violence to get their point across because it’s the only thing that works for them.
People who use force Are the Weakest of All
However, that is weakness because people only submit because they don’t want the bully to beat them up. In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.
True persuasion or influence is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.
Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum: They either have total control, or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.
People who uses Physical bullying often compare themselves with others.
They see themselves as less effective than others when it comes to persuasion and influence. They feel that they’re no good at getting others to cooperate or at being in command of circumstances and situations.
Therefore, in their intense anger and rage, these bullies shift the blame. They shift blame from their own sense of powerlessness to the behavior of their targets.
In other words, hese people then see their targets as their enemies or adversaries. So, they feel that they must punish and destroy these targets.
Using this kind of Violence for Anything Other Than Self-Defense is Weakness.
- “(The target) is wrong for defying me.”
- “He never listens to me.”
- “She never pays attention to me.”
- “That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”
When these people shift the blame onto their targets, they are able to blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than sadness and hopelessness.
Again, I want you to realize that this is weakness in and of itself. These individuals may look strong and mighty as they’re beating up on some poor helpless human being. However, what they really are is weak.
In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s simply because they can’t get power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use the fear of physical harm and yes, even murder.
Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm or seductive powers. In other words, they cannot get people to do what they want them to do through the use of persuasion.
those who use physical bullying are No Different Than Rapists
I’ll use rapists as an example: The reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.
Maybe they have no game- they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.
Moreover, they may be creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to them, which means that they are ineffective and powerless.
Therefore, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!
Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. Yes, they may beat the crap out of you, but chances are good that you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.
And your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence, powers of persuasion, and people skills are things they are stuck with- forever!
And if nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use to rely on the school, workplace, and sometimes the law to protect you. You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!
Should you defend yourself from physical bullying by hitting back?
This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. The media and politicians vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence.
Moreover, you’ll hear statements from others, such as:
- “Be the bigger person and walk away.”
- “Two wrongs don’t make a right?”
I’ve heard them all.
Using more peaceful solutions, walking away from the bully and reporting it sounds good. However, sometimes peaceful solutions don’t work because they won’t let you be peaceful.
If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bully will only continue to come after you and hurt you. Also, everyone who knows you will see you as a punching bag at school or work and everywhere else.
Why? Because when word gets around that one person can hit you and get away with it, everyone else will think they can too. They’ll peg you as the school or the community whipping boy. That’s no way to live.
In the middle of a physical attack, the last resort is the only option you take.
So, How do you respond to it? here it is:
When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!
Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.
Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!
Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.
Make physical bullies Not want to put their hands on you ever again!
The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable the bully. Additionally, you want to give him such a bad memory that he’ll never even think about coming for you again.
You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this, folks! It’s called self-defense!
Again, punch the bully’s lights out! School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.
Furthermore, if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend me, fire me, or take me to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.
Nevertheless, you may not condone fighting. Although you may need to fight many times in school, you may hate it each time you have to. However, when you’re a 5’4″, 120-pound girl being jumped and most of the time by multiple assailants, it may be your only option.
Also, if you are a small-built male and the attacker is much bigger than you, it’s not the time to play patty-cake. There will be times when you’re boxed in and cannot go anywhere.
When there’s no other choice, it’s either fight or risk your bullies possibly maiming or killing you. Sometimes the last resort is the only way to protect yourself.
You must let the bully know that you’re not the one to mess with and that you aren’t afraid to fight back if necessary.
There will be others who may disagree with this post, and that’s okay. I am very thick-skinned now and rarely do I get offended. I can agree to disagree. But I will do what I have to do to protect my well-being and my life if ever I’m in physical danger.
So, if all else fails, go ahead and whoop that ***!
This post was all about physical bullying and why you should defend yourself against it.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies
3. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same
4. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing
5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies
Great post Cherie and I agree, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire for the Bullies to get the message that you will protect yourself. When we fight back, we give the message that we won’t be doormats to their abuse and in time, the hope is that they will leave you alone. Most of the time, it works.
Thank you so much, Stella. I’ve always believed in the right to self-defense.
Several points here. First, I think for those that disagree with your post, they miss the point. No one is condoning violence. Fighting should never be the first answer BUT there are times when you have to take a stand. Second, never over or underestimate someone because of size or gender. Sometimes a small person may be tougher than you think and just because someone is big and strong looking doesn’t necessarily make it so.
The thing with true bullies is they are cowards looking for perceived easy targets. Many times if you put up your dukes they will back away and claim “you aren’t worth it
” In actuality, you called their bluff. And because bullies want “power” the last thing they want is to lose in front of their peers because if someone perceived as tough loses to the captain of the chess team in a fight, their reputation is gone. More people will challenge the bully and even their followers will turn. And if the bullied person loses, if they even stand up for themselves they earn respect from others who wish they had the Guts to do the same or if they lose but hold their own for a while it is still a win. And just the willingness to fight them back increases the odds the bully will leave them alone more and more.
And I think a good rule of parenting is to teach kids never to initiate a fight but if you get attacked you have a right to defend yourself. Every person, man, woman and child have a right within reason to defend themselves.
You absolutely nailed it with this comment, S. There will indeed be times when you must take a stand. And yes, and small people can be tough in that they have tremendous speed behind them. I’ve personally seen this. Thirdly, bullies are indeed the biggest cowards who need easy targets. And when you finally stomp the crap of of a bully, he doesn’t want anymore of what he got and he leaves you alone. Bullying is all about power and if they can’t get it from you, they will go look for another target. And you made a great point that when the bully gets her tail whipped, her power is gone and people see that she isn’t so tough. That’s when the people she mistreated in the past can come back and rub it in her face. And the target reclaims their power. But the bully loses theirs – more socially than anything else. People see the bully as a punk. Lastly, parents absolutely should teach their children not to start it, but to finish it if someone else starts with them. You made so many great points here and I love your comment.
I agree fully here, back in my day, the victim was usually blamed for being bullied and you highlighted was this was the case. However, when I did retaliate, the original actions by the bully was ignored and it was twisted around that I started it.
I can relate, Michael. However, at least you stood up for yourself. If I’m going to be blamed anyway, I might as well go ahead and fight and get as much out of it as humanly possible.
I’m fortunate that I was never physically attacked. My father never advocated violence but he did teach me some self defense… And I was small but wiry and was capable of holding my own against siblings who were younger but larger.!
You are very fortunate, Valerie. And I’m happy that you didn’t have to go through physical attacks at school or anywhere else. Sibling rivalries are a real thing and sometimes you may have to fight although you love them. So, you got training at home, at least. 😂🤣😂🤣
Sibling rivalries are interesting things. A lot of it is normal and there is a fine line between bullying and just normal sibling stuff. It is also kind of a “king or queen of the mountain” moment when the younger or considerably smaller sibling can physically take the older siblings. It totally changes the dynamic of the house.
Absolutely right! Sibling stuff is mostly a competition.
That’s an interesting subject in itself, the sibling (brother/sister) factor. I think it is normal competitive for one of the siblings to try and be dominant and in most cases the stronger sibling usually seems to be able to be that. I guess the question is how one uses that strength advantage. Some are protectors.
I think what it comes down to is we have a ride to defend our lives and well-being. If there is not a better option I see no other option than to defend ourselves physically. I’m with you on this one. Even turn the other cheek is taken out of context sometimes!
I totally agree, Petrina. Bullies can sometimes use the “turn the other cheek” thing to guilt their targets into not fighting back and letting them abuse them. Targets shouldn’t fall for it. Thank you for bringing this up!