Al’Want to know the signs of conditioning so that you can protect yourself from it? These are the surefire signs to be aware of.
Bullies and abusers have ways of conditioning you without you ever being aware that they’re doing it. In most cases you won’t notice it until it has totally changed you and ruined your life. As someone who has been there and overcome it, I’m giving you the signs you must know to stay safe.
You are going to learn about all the early signs of conditioning so that bullies can no longer play these mind games with you.
After learning about the signs of conditioning, you will be prepared and no longer easy to manipulate.
This post is all about the signs of conditioning that every victim and target of bullying should have knowledge of.
conditioning
What is it? In simplest terms, conditioning happens when others brainwash and train you to believe or accept something you wouldn’t normally believe nor accept. Therefore, unscrupulous people will psychologically condition you to believe many falsehoods and accept all kinds of abuse.
This is how people become brainwashed and extreme evil and terrible abuses get normalized.
Therefore, when you’re a target of bullying, bullies will very deceitfully try to condition you to roll over and take their abuse. Also, they will slyly and slowly, over time, “Pavlov” you to believe any lie they say until finally, they convince you to turn on yourself.
Realize that conditioning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, incremental, bit-by-tiny-bit process that can also be soft and subtle.
In other words, conditioning starts out small and is barely recognizable when it first begins. It is at this stage when you must know how to recognize it because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.
he one thing that will help you to recognize it is that your body will feel it and you’ll sense it in the vibes the people you’re dealing with put out. Pay attention.
So, how do you know your bullies are conditioning you?
Here are the signs:
5 Signs You’re being Conditioned:
You’ll know by the feelings you have.
1. You begin Feeling guilty for defending yourself, speaking out about the bullying you suffer, and reporting the bullying to authority
This most commonly occurs with empaths. However, if you’re an empath and you aren’t careful, you will likely be used and abused by narcissists, bullies, and abusers.
Remember that sometimes you must put your needs first. Also, there will be times when you will need to stand up for yourself.
You have a right not to be abused and you are just as good as the next person. You wouldn’t inflict pain on anyone else and you should never allow others to inflict pain on you either.
Self-care is never selfish. It’s essential.
Therefore, continue to stand up yourself. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. Because, if you don’t, no one else will either. Remember that you aren’t responsible for their feelings.
In a situation of bullying, all you have is you and your greatest weapon is your voice. Use it! Don’t lose it!
2. Another sign of conditioning is Feeling that the bullying you suffer is all your fault.
Anytime you blame yourself for the bullying you suffer, you can be sure that your bullies have conditioned you. Therefore, understand this right now! It’s not your fault!
You are not responsible for your bullies’ behavior. Their horrid actions are a reflection of their choices, not yours. Moreover, you cannot control the behavior of another person. The only person’s behavior you have control over is your own.
So, when you blame yourself for being bullied, you are taking responsibility for the behavior of others, which are things you have no control over.
Do not allow them to condition you to believe that anything beyond your control is your fault! It isn’t!
3. You start feeling like a heel for saying no.
Saying “no” can be difficult and at times, even downright scary. If you’re a decent human being who believes in being civil to your fellow man, the last thing you want is to let someone down. However, there are situations when saying yes to someone else is like saying no to yourself.
When you say no, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person, especially when bullies are trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.
But what if your bullies threaten either physical harm or worse social exclusion if you do not comply with their wishes?
Nobody wants to get hurt. The natural human response is to submit and make the pain, torment, or the threat of, stop. In your mind, you’re thinking, “Alright, alright! I’ll do it if you’ll go away and leave me alone!”
Therefore you fall for the false promises that they will leave you be and stop hurting you. BUT!
Realize that bullies and abusers never make good on those promises. The harassment won’t stop. If anything, it will only get worse.
Why? Because your bullies have benefited from forcing you to say yes. And more than likely, they’ve been getting those benefits for a long time now.
Your bullies never stopped the harassment after all those times you said yes to them before. So, why would they stop now?
Saying no to a bully is never an easy option.
Bullies don’t take no for an answer, least of all from their targets! However, not only is it necessary, it’s essential for self-care!
Therefore, begin saying no, and do it often. However, realize that you can’t change a bully. And if the bullies resist (and they more than likely will), be ready for possible retaliation. And if they do act up, again, it isn’t your fault nor your responsibility.
The only time you should say yes to bullies is if they pull a gun. Otherwise, stick to your answer.
I’ll grant you that saying no is risky. It always has been. Your bullies may threaten you with the business end of their fists and you may come out of it with a shiner and a fat lip.
However, those wounds will heal. But the psychological injury of wishing you hadn’t let yourself down will last for years.
Again, you must say no, even if it makes others angry.
4. another hallmark of conditioning is when You feel like the biggest wuss on the planet.
You know the feeling. When you know you allowed someone else force you into something you neither wanted to nor agreed to. It left a psychological injury that took a long time to recover from.
You ended up asking yourself, “Now, why didn’t I tell those creeps to take a flying leap off the highest cliff head first?” That feeling of powerlessness can be worse than any physical pain you ever suffered.
In other words, you blame yourself for not standing up to your bullies or abusers. You think that maybe you’re not strong enough, or this enough, or that enough. This is another sign of conditioning.
However, you must know that your bullies act up not because you aren’t firm enough. And don’t think it was because you aren’t any good at defending yourself.
It’s because your bullies are a bunch of pathetic, self-entitled turds. Bullies are abusers and abusers have a talent for conditioning their victims. Therefore, abusers expect the rest of the world to bow down and kiss their behinds and none of that is your fault.
Understand that their behavior isn’t your guilt to carry. Then, begin standing up for yourself and refuse to believe the lies your bullies try to drum into your head.
REPEAT!
Don’t fall for their power plays. Stand up, stand tall, and stand firm no matter what.
5. Your body will feel those icky vibes your bullies are putting out.
In other words. you’ll sense it by feeling that something is “off.” Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach. And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.
This is, perhaps, the most important sign of all. Why? Because, as mentioned earlier in the post, conditioning is soft and subtle in the beginning. So much so that it isn’t noticeable.
However, here’s your first clue: Your body will tell you if you pay attention to it. Your body, particularly, your gut, will pick up on these sickening vibrations your bullies put out.
Many targets of bullying often mistake this feeling for “just being paranoid” and ignore the feeling. But this is the last thing you should do.
Understand that God gave us all that “sixth sense” or, as it is more commonly called, the “gut feeling” or “instinct”, for a reason.
Therefore, anytime you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you are not being paranoid and you are not over-reacting. What you’re doing is picking up on that person’s energy. As a result, your inner alarm is trying to warn you about the person and keep you safe.
You must pay close attention to your gut and to other people’s energy because energy doesn’t lie and neither does your gut instinct!
If ever you catch bad vibes off another person, have nothing to do with them. Instead, get as far away from them as you can and as fast as you can! You will save yourself a lot of trouble, I promise!
This post was all about the signs of conditioning to help you to recognize these indicators early on and protect yourself.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know
2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators
3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to be Aware of
4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Power Statements to Use
My bullies’ excuse was that it was because I acted weird and told lies. It took me a long time to realize that while I might have been unconventional in many people’s eyes, it was more the bullies being intolerant and looking for any excuse.
Absolutely right, Michael. Even if you weren’t “unconventional” at times or different, they would have made up a reason.
By the way, Michael. I read your email and yes. Let’s collaborate on a post! Now’s the time.
This is so true! Bullies should be reported. No shame in telling the truth!
Absolutely, Sara. Bullies thrive on the target’s silence and reporting the bullying is actually a very brave thing to do because bullies will often try to shame the target by calling them a crybaby, or worse, retaliate by physical means.
Excellent points! All true!
Thank you so much, Tamara. Much appreciated.
Very detailed and informative.
Thank you so much, Sushimita!