Why? Because this type of harassment offers easy deniability.
Unlike the physical kind, Psycho/Emotional bullying is less evident to others outside the bully-victim dynamic because it leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds. Therefore, the target has no proof that any bullying ever took place. The bullies can easily deny any incidences if the victim becomes fed up and either assert themselves or reports the harassment to an authority figure.
Afterward, the bullies can brand the target as mentally unstable, destroy his/her credibility, reputation, and relationships, then retaliate against the victim by continuing and escalating the harassment later.
Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards and the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment that are well-planned in advance.
They go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty, committing their attacks ever so slowly and subtly, undercover and behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.
These types of bullies are often in the Preppy/Popular crowd at school or in the Good Ole’ Boy Clique at work because of their superior social skills, ability to read people and predict others’ reactions. They have a talent for keeping up appearances.
They are usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers, and CEOs. They excel in studies, join clubs or sororities/fraternities, and make themselves out to be high performers at work by stealing others’ ideas and work.
Because their popularity and extreme likeability serve as a shield from accountability and add a lot of weight to their lies and deceit, they often get away with bullying others.
If you live in a small town, they likely come from families who have powerful connections, which is all the more reason why they must keep up appearances. Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths, which is why they are such good liars and seem to have the right answer or justification for anything.
Bullies of this kind also have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty, so if they want to cause any physical harm to their target, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them, being sure to offer money and social status as possible incentives to get the job done and stay quiet.
But understand that most of their followers don’t like them; they only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them- their approval and the power and social status that comes with it.
Bullies on top of the pecking order will also use their social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled (kids with Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Traumatic Brain Injury, etc.) and the physically disabled (kids with Diabetes, Lupus, heart defects, and food allergies; kids who are paraplegic, etc.).
They also target kids with weight issues (overweight or underweight), those with low self-esteem, or those younger and smaller.
And most of the abuse they dish out to these kids is strictly psychological or emotional because they’re such cowards! Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable kids to push around in the first place.
Since you have to go to school or work with these types and there is no way to avoid these types of people or to go no-contact, I want you to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps so that you can learn their weaknesses and expose them for your own protection.
You must get into the minds of these bullies. You must think as they do even though it’s not a pleasant place to properly defend yourself, and I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!
Sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky, and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are before they back off.
The more you know, the more you’re prepared, the better you can protect yourself from such people.
very useful info
Thank you very much. 🙂
I echo your statements about bullies being the best actors; one of my school bullies is a part-time actor and communal narcissist. I knew her my entire life; she lived next door to my grandma. She is the main inspiration behind my Bern Cacca character. https://moronicarts.com/2021/01/21/behind-the-moroniverse-peppi-bernadette/
Absolutely right, Jen. I’m so sorry you had to deal with a person like her. I’ll have to order and read your book about Bern Cacca. I just know it’s a good read!
Thank you. My manuscript is not done, however you can read my story behind the Bern Cacca character on my blog. I posted the link in my comment above. 🙂
Cool! I definitely will! <3
Thank you. I went thru hell because of her and am finally getting to the point where I can think of her as a character so it does not hurt so much.
You’re so welcome. And know that you have a friend.🤗
You hit on something key. They can deny bullying and often times people like teachers, administrators, parents etc will sometimes downplay it or act like bullying didn’t occur. Plus the bully is protected because if they lose in a physical altercation it takes away their power.
You hit the nail on the head with that comment, PJ! <3
What an awful thing to be talented at. I think this type of bullying is the most prevalent because, as you say, it’s easy to deny.
Absolutely true, Sunra. And it is awful indeed! It’s the worst!
This type of bullies usually back off if you ignore them (don’t play their game). If that doesn’t work and they still push on, you must show them you are not to be toyed with.
I totally agree, Joseph. And bullies are persistent. Sometimes you must use your fists and beat them down so bad that it puts the fear of God in them.