Category: abuse

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Inside the Mind of a Bully

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‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.

inside the mind of a bully

If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.

However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.

This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.

Inside the mind of a bully

Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.

Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.

Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.

Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.

A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.

Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.

Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.

It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.

Inside the Mind of a Bully:

In their minds, you owe them respect

And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.

The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.

In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.

From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.

Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.

This is the mentality of bullies.

The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.

Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.

“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”

In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!

You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.

When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.

They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.

Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.

Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.

Inside the mind of a bully:

Most bullies are relentless.

Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.

Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.

Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.

Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.

‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!

This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.

Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.

Do bullies know they’re Bullies?

In most cases, YES!

Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.

The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.

Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.

Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!

Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.

Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!

In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!

Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!

Inside the mind of a Bully:

What to expect

Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.

1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.

In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.

2. Pit your friends against you.

If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.

Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.

Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.

However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.

Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!

3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:

Send henchmen to physically harm you.

If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.

They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.

Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.

Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.

Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.

when and where does it stop?

It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.

Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.

I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.

Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.

If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.

If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.

And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.

This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You 

2. The 4 Stages of Bullying

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

loving yourself in an environment that hates you reddit

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

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Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is one of the biggest challenges you face when people constantly bully you. However, you can do it! Here’s how to love yourself in the middle of bullying so that you can emerge from it with your self-esteem and mental health intact.

loving yourself in an environment that hates you

Loving yourself can be challenging when people target you for bullying. How can you feel good about yourself when the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

In this post you will learn all about ways of loving yourself in an environment that hates you. In that, you will learn ways to do it so that you can come away from bullying with a healthy self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be able to come through any abuse with minimal damage to your mental health and move on to a happy and productive life.

This post is all about loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you can come through bullying with your confidence, self-esteem, and mental health intact.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts and attacks, even for a short time, makes life harder than it should be.

Moreover, after a long period of time, it can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited bullies tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Here are ways to keep loving yourself when everyone bullies you.

1. Make positive affirmations every day, several times a day.

In other words, look at yourself in the mirror each morning and say these words to yourself:

  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of being loved.”
  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM important.”
  • “I AM smart.”

The more you give yourself positive affirmations, the more they will stick and the more you’ll believe it even if others try to bring you down. This is how you shield your precious mind from bullies who wish to destroy it.

Understand that you must do what you must do to maintain your self-esteem. Never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU. Therefore, love yourself enough to give yourself compassion when others mistreat you.

2. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Be willing to make difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some very difficult decisions in order to either receive that love and respect or get rid of toxic people who refuse to give it to you.

Sometimes, you have to walk away for people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

Moreover, this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible. It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If by chance, it doesn’t happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve.

You must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go.

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Stop Caring what people think of you.

No lie. This can be hard to do, especially if the people around you hate you and are bullying you. Loving yourself in a room full of people who hate you takes a mountain of hard work.

In other words, it’s real tough to do when all you hear from everyone is:

  • “You aren’t worth a damn!”
  • “You suck!”
  • “You’re a drain on society!”
  • “You’ll never amount to a hill of beans!”

I understand. If you hear that long enough and from enough people, it can break your spirit if you let it. And how you refuse to let it get to you is to see it for what it is- noise pollution!

This is why it’s so important to stop giving a tinker’s damn what anyone thinks of you. At the end of the day, what they think of you doesn’t matter.

Here’s another thing to think about. The weight a person’s opinions carry depends on their relationship with you. In other words, you give the most value to the opinions of the people who are closest to you. The ones who love and care for you.

However, the opinions of those who are out to hurt you carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t have to place in value on the opinions of enemies, bullies, and haters.

To get offended by someone’s opinion, you must first value their opinions. Therefore, don’t give any value to things that have none.

In other words, refuse to let the incendiary remarks of a bully get to you.

4. Give yourself permission to be yourself.

That means be the authentically beautiful person you were born to be. Moreover, do it even if others don’t like it. Understand that most people are fake and they won’t like it when you relax and be yourself. Why? Because you’re their complete opposite.

Also, giving yourself permission to be yourself means knowing it’s okay to have needs, wants, and desires. Moreover, it’s okay to express those desires.

Other people might ridicule or reprimand you for asking for what you want. However, pay these people no mind and just do your thing. They’ll get over it eventually.

5. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Train your inner voice to speak lovingly to you.

You do this through practice and patience. If that inner critic starts putting you down, catch it when it happens. Then turn the negative words into words of love.

Therefore, when you do this for long enough, that voice will begin to love you unconditionally.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Understand that we’re all on different paths. Some have smooth paths and others paths are rougher. However, never compare your life with theirs.

Look for the blessings in your life and be proud of who you are.

7. Give yourself permission to walk away from drama.

When bullies begin running their mouths, sometimes it’s best to just walk away and leave them standing there. Understand that you have a right not to deal with drama.

Moreover, expect your bullies to ridicule you for choosing to remove yourself. They may accuse you of being to scared to face them. However, know that it’s not out of fear that you do so, it’s out of smarts and self-care.

Therefore, realize that it’s okay to leave if you’re in an environment where you aren’t valued.

8. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, not everyone has bullies who constantly shame them for it or remind them of past errors.

This is proof that your mistakes are no worse than the ones others make. Your bullies may make it seem like they are. But they aren’t. Therefore, you’re no worse than anyone else.

Continue to love and value yourself anyway, despite what others may say or think.

9. Know that it’s okay if people get angry with you.

In other words, if people get angry at you for taking care of yourself, that’s your cue that they don’t deserve to be in your life and you should ditch these creeps and move on.

Don’t let their anger discourage you from doing what’s best for yourself. Because you’re the only one who must live your life. Therefore, make your life the best life you can make it.

And to hell with what anyone else thinks!

10. Realize that you can’t control how others think, feel, or behave.

Another person’s behavior is beyond your control. Therefore, give up the urge to control the way others act toward you. Why? Because it’s impossible and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

You can never control how others view you. Moreover, you can’t control what people say to you and how they act toward you.

However, what you can control is how you behave. In other words, you can control how you respond to the behavior of bullies and other idiots who try to steal your joy.

And, most importantly, you have a choice whether to keep associating with these losers and keep them in your life. Therefore, give them the boot if possible.

You don’t need them around.

11. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

See your bullies’ drivel for what it is – a bunch of noise!

Loving yourself in the face of bullying is revolutionary!

Therefore, you must drown out all the hot air and noise pollution your bullies emit. And you must see it for what it is. How do you do that?

  •  You do it by seeing your bullies for the creeps they truly are.
  • You do it by understanding where all their vitriol comes from.
  • Also, you do it by thinking good thoughts of yourself and reminding yourself of your good qualities.
  • And you do it by reminding yourself what a bunch of pathetic losers your bullies truly are.

Therefore, keep training your brain to think highly of yourself, even when nobody else thinks lowly of you. It’s the greatest act of rebellion against bullies!

Again, see it for what it is. The judgements and verbal abuse you consistently hear from the cowardly creeps around you, is nothing but a bunch of racket. In other words, it’s noise pollution!

When you’re determined like yourself when others don’t, you refuse to let bullies get into your head.

Moreover, you train your brain to filter out the negative comments that serve no purpose but to damage your self-esteem. Also, you silence that inner critic that would otherwise nag you night and day.

And here’s the best part! When you love and accept yourself, others outside the bullying environment will likely accept you. In other words, strangers who have no history with you will be inclined to also love and accept you.

No, your bullies and abusers won’t like or love you even if you love yourself. But who cares about them?

Therefore, you must love yourself in spite of what others think of you. You will be surprised at how it protects your self-esteem. When you work to feel good about yourself, even while bullies are trying to tear you down, it will work as a buffer to the psychological attacks they launch.

You may come out of it bruised, but not broken.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Learn to Love the Person You’re Stuck with For Life- You!

There’s no getting away from it, bucko! You can never run from yourself. You are confined to yourself and will take this person with you wherever you go.

Therefore, would you rather be stuck for the rest of your life with someone you love or someone you hate?

This post was all about the importance of loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you’ll be able to buffer yourself against the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to overcome learned helplessness. Here are all the ways you can empower yourself and take back control over your life.

how to overcome learned helplessness

When you’ve been bullied and abused long enough, you develop a condition called “Learned Helplessness.” In other words, you feel hopeless.

You feel that there’s nothing you can do about your situation. Therefore, you give up any options you may have to make a better life for yourself.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to overcoming learned helplessness so that you can take back your autonomy and your life.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back control of your life and begin your journey back to peace and happiness.

This post is all about how to overcome learned helplessness and go from hopelessness to happiness.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness

How does learned helplessness apply to bullying?

When people bully you, many times they will either keep you from defending yourself or punish you for it. This is how learned helplessness rears it’s ugly head if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, many targets and survivors of bullying get stuck in the only life they know. Moreover, if bullying and abuse are the only things a person knows, guess what happens?

They usually stay stuck in relationships and environments that are harmful to them. Why? Because bullies and abusers have conditioned them all their lives to accept it as a normal part of life. This can happen to animals as well.

Here’s a piece from the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M. D.

“Maier and Seligman had repeatedly administered painful electrical shocks to dogs who were trapped in locked cages. They called this condition, ‘inescapable shock.’”

“After administering several courses of electric shock, the researchers opened the doors of the cages and then shocked the dogs again. A group of control dogs who had never been shocked before immediately ran away, but the dogs who had earlier been subjected to inescapable shock made no attempt to flee, even when the door was wide open- they just lay there, whimpering and defecating. The mere opportunity to escape does not necessarily make traumatized animals, or people, take the road to freedom.

Like Maier and Seligman’s dogs, many traumatized people give up. Rather than risk experimenting with new options, they stay stuck in the fear they know.”

This is interesting.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Learned helplessness doesn’t come from bullying per se. It comes more from being trapped and having no way to escape bullying.

Many targets of bullying have been repeatedly traumatized just like the electric shock dogs in the excerpt. People have abused them for so long that they’ve programmed them to stay in a miserable environment.

Moreover, others have conditioned them tolerate more abuse. It’s heartbreaking!

Nine times out of ten, the target is trapped in the bullying and has no chance of getting away from it. In other words, they’re trapped in a school they can’t transfer from.

Many victims of workplace bullying are stuck in a job they can’t afford to quit. Many parents of bullied kids can’t afford to move to a new area. Maybe zoning laws forbid switching schools.

Whatever the situation may be, there’s no getting away from the bullying.

When bullies and abusers deliberately block your fight or flight response, what can you do? What can you do when people or circumstances prevent you from running away or fighting back?

You either fly into a rage and end up committing a serious crime or you do like most victims. You shut down completely and surrender to “what just is.” In short, you give up.

L.H. comes from long-term entrapment

Therefore, many targets and survivors suffer from Learned Helplessness because of entrapment. Moreover, evil people have programmed them to believe that there is nothing they can do to defend themselves.

Therefore, bullies and abusers have trained them to believe they have absolutely no control over what happens to them.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Keep fighting and know that things will get better sooner or later.

This is why we should never allow bullies and abusers to drive us to the point of giving up. Never allow bullies and abusers to brainwash you into believing that you’re helpless.

Why? Because it will have devastating consequences for your entire life. No matter how others treat you and how bad things get, you must hold on to your self-belief.

Moreover, you must hold on to hope. Know that if you keep fighting, things will eventually improve.

Keep your eyes on your goals and dreams. Only then will you be able to break the hold that bullies or abusers have on you.

You may not physically be able to escape the bullying and abuse you suffer. However, you still have control over your mind.

You still have a say in what goes into your mind and what you choose to kick out of it. So, never allow the words of a bullying abuser clutter your brain.

Instead, fill your mind with your goals and dreams. Continue to think of things that make you feel good about yourself.

Work on devising a plan of escape and stick to it. Then, when the time is right and a door opens, put your plan into action.

Trust me, you’re worth it and you deserve to live drama-free and in peace.

Run your life. Don’t let your life run you.

The feeling of powerlessness is a gawd-awful place. You can feel you have no control over your life. Instead of running your life, your life runs you. Even worse, as much as you want to fix it, you don’t know how.

Your life may be a constant battle. You may be fighting a war you never volunteered to fight in but one you feel you’ve been involuntarily drafted into.

Moreover, in this war, you have no furlough nor R&R. Even worse, this war seems to be never-ending. You feel you’re sailing on a ship without a rudder.

Bad things keep happening back-to-back. What’s worse is that you don’t know what’s broken. Therefore, again, you have no way of knowing how to fix it.

Perhaps, the most heart-sinking thing is this. It looks as if everyone else is happily enjoying life. They’re getting what they want, or more appropriately, what you want.

Everyone… except you. And you’re sick of always being the exception.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

1. Recognize it in your thinking patterns.

For example, your bullies can program your subconscious mind if you let them. They will make you believe that love, success, anything good and meaningful, was for anyone who isn’t you.

Moreover, you may feel that God loathes  you. It may seem that He wants to punish you by blocking you from any kind of happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. Also, it may seem that God is making sure that you see everyone else reaching successes and enjoying their lives.

And you may hate them all for it. Even worse, you may hate God for blessing them and cursing you. You may rage at Him for allowing you to suffer.

It may seem that God has left you to fend for yourself, then cut off ways for you to do it.  But see all this for what it is… all lies!

Your reaction may be to stop talking to God. In fact, you may want nothing to do with Him. Your impulse may be to ignore Him flat out or curse Him in your heart. You may be angry, even outraged!

It may seem that He’s forcing you to suffer while rubbing everyone else’s successes and blessings in your face. You may have the feeling He is starving you. That He is forcing you to go without food while forcing you to watch everyone in the room enjoy a huge feast and eat heartily.

And it feels like torture. But again, it’s all lies. Therefore, never stop praying no matter what! And never allow this type of thinking to take root.

Therefore, the first step to preventing this type of mindset is to recognize it.

This type of thinking is the result of learned helplessness.

But you see? This is what learned helplessness does. It programs you to believe that you’re at the mercy of Fate!

You ask yourself, “what’s the point?” After so many disappointments and heartaches, you feel there’s nothing you can do to change your situation.  You think that you’re just “stuck with it,” and “that’s just the way it is.”

Learned helplessness forces you to believe that you have power over nothing! You’re just a leaf being blown about by the wind- a car without a steering wheel.

It is as if your life has been set to autopilot and there’s no way you can navigate its direction.

You come to believe that you should just roll over and resign yourself. People and circumstances have forced you to accept your fate and station in life.

And why not? It’s easier just to go with the flow and let yourself be blown wherever the wind decides to take you.

However, you’ll do yourself so much good by resisting this type of thinking.

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Read Personal Development books and articles.

You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene! Or, you can read the Bible.

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

Begin reading personal development and putting everything you learn into practice. This requires that you be hungry for any knowledge you can use to make a better life for yourself.

And, trust me. When you’re hungry for the knowledge, you’ll devour book after book. Moreover,  you’ll continue to practice the new habits you learn. And you’ll do it everyday until it became like second nature and you no longer have to think about it.

The transformation won’t happen overnight. It will take time, even few years. However, you will be amazed at the results.

Good blessings will begin to flow into your life almost immediately! They may be small at first. Nevertheless, they’ll still be blessings.

You will realize that, all along, you’ve had the power to change things only you’d never known you had it.

And power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have because it’s power you can’t use. You cannot use anything you don’t know you have.

3. Seek therapy.

You don’t have to let them shove psych meds down your throat. However, there’s counseling. Counseling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

4. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Prayer.

Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. Part of reading personal development is practicing it.

You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

This post was all about how to overcome learned helplessness so that you can take back control of your life and feel powerful again.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

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‘Want to know how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying? Here are the reactions you need to know about so that you can learn how to re-frame them and see them for what they are. Also, here’s why you should feel good about it when your bullies react out of panic.

speaking out against bullying

Remember that your bullies thrive on your silence. Why? Because, as long as you stay quiet about the abuse they inflict on you, they can continue to avoid accountability. Even worse, they get to continue bullying you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that you begin speaking out if you want to take your power and your life back.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying. Also, you will learn how much it will positively change your life.

Once you learn what to expect from bullies, you will be prepared to double down and stand your ground no matter what. In that, you will successfully take back your personal power and, with it, control over your life.

This post is all about what happens when you start speaking out against bullying and the positive life-changes that come with it.

Speaking out against bullying

Speaking out against bully starts with reporting your bullies and their bullying when it happens to you. Bullies made coerce you to stay silent. In fact, they may intimidate and induce fear into you. They may threaten physical violence or social consequences.

However, you have a right to safety and dignity. Therefore, reporting your bullies is the first step if you want to overcome bullying.

 Yes, speaking out is scary and yes, it involves taking a huge risk of being retaliated against.

But understand that anytime your bullies retaliate and seek to punish you for reporting them, it speaks volumes. It shows that they’re desperate. Moreover, it shows that they’re guilty!

Why? Because if your bullies weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t need to retaliate and they wouldn’t make such an effort to silence you.

In other words, behind a bully’s retaliation for your refusal to stay silent is the knowledge of their own guilt and fear of exposure and resulting consequences. Sadly, most people still haven’t caught onto this yet.

But what if I report it and people in authority refuse to listen?

Understand this right now. Although members of authority and bystanders may not want to listen to your pleas for help, the truth is that they can never un-hear what you’ve told them.

Moreover, though they all may cover for the bully and deny they saw any bullying take place, they can still never unsee it. As long as it reaches their eyes and ears, you still have a voice.

Speaking out against bullying:

When Bullies Retaliate because you spoke out, it screams panic and desperation.

Think about this. Warplanes always get bombarded with the most flack any time they’re flying over their target. This is when the battle is at it’s absolute worst!

You see, the closer the plane gets to the target, the more the enemy will escalate their defensive attacks.

It’s the same with bullies. Any time you peg them on their BS, you’re over the target. And they will hurl all kinds of vicious attacks on you.

Therefore, accept it, expect it, and most importantly prepare for it.

Moreover, if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t let them shake you. Always remember the warplane analogy and you’ll better withstand the onslaught. Even better, you’ll be able to call it out when it happens.

You’d be surprised how much easier it is to fight against something once you can name it. A problem that you can put a name on and explain clearly is a problem you can more easily solve.

5 Things Bullies and Abusers Do When You Call out Their Abuse

Here’s how your bullies will react when you put their bullying on blast.

1. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Lash out at you.

This is the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names. In fact, they’ll call everything but a child of God.

I won’t kid you. It will be difficult to face but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

Instead, see it for what it is. By breaking your silence, you forced your bullies to reveal their true colors. Why?

Because when your bullies fly off the handle and viciously attack you, that’s when you know you’ve busted them. In fact, you force them to bust themselves just by their very reactions!

Also, you force them to explain themselves.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their “authority”- their power because neither power nor authority ever explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

In other words, you instantly snatch them out of their position of power and move them into a vulnerable position. You automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a subordinate place.

In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

2. Deny their abuse.

Bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively, claiming they never bullied or mistreated you. And, you can be sure that they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen to them the same thing.

Again, don’t let it deter you. Calmly tell them, “Don’t try to deny it because you did.” The trick is to not only call out what they did, but also to call out their denial of it.

3. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Gaslight you.

Oftentimes, when you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing the bullying or dismissing it.

They may claim that you must’ve misinterpreted them somehow. Moreover, they may question your memory of the events. They may even accuse you of imagining things.

 You may hear remarks such as, “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being overly sensitive”.

Also, they may make statements such as:

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it” or accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

Here are other objectives for their gaslighting:

  • To minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • To make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • To cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

You must realize that this is gaslighting and it speaks volumes about their character. You know bullying when it happens to you, so, don’t be afraid to counter their gaslighting.

4. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you notice their bullying and call it out is when bullies and abusers lose control over you. Therefore, if they can no longer control you, they will control how others see you.

And they will tell everyone who will listen what a lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, as difficult as it may be, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control. Why? Because they’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face.

So, expect them to tell everyone that you’re “mentally imbalanced” and that you’re having some sort of mental episode.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care and wouldn’t react so desperately. So, always see this as an admission of guilt.

5. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared. Understand that this is the best outcome because if they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them trying to gaslight you.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

However, be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others. Moreover, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth.

Different bullies react different ways and may use any or all four of the above defensive measures.

Speaking out Against Bullying:

In conclusion:

I can’t stress this enough. Bullies and abusers count on your silence. Moreover, they detest, or more appropriately, fear the possibility of you exposing them.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because it puts them at risk of losing respect in the community.

Therefore, the last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Understand that bullies make everything about appearances. And when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both.

Again, don’t be afraid. Instead, see it as they’re unwittingly revealing themselves and let them go at it. Let them launch their personal attacks.

By attacking you, they only tell off on themselves.

This post was all about the possible reactions of bullies when you begin speaking out against bullying. The purpose of this post was to help you see through their reactions so that you’ll be more encouraged to talk.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

5. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

sadistic personality type

Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure

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‘Have you ever wondered if bullies have a sadistic personality. Do you want to learn about bullies who bully for pleasure? Here is all the information about sadistic bullies that you need to be aware of.

sadistic personality

Though we hate to say it, many bullies are, in fact, sadistic and enjoy inflicting pain on their victims. Sadly, it is the ultimate power rush for them.

Therefore, you will learn all about bullies, particularly those with a sadistic personality so that you know how to recognize them when you meet them.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be better able to defend yourself against such people.

This post is all about the sadistic personality so that you can be prepared to protect yourself against evil bullies who are cursed with this type of personality and ensure your safety.

Sadistic Personality

Sadly, most bullies bully because they enjoy it. None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world- people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

If you’re an empath, you’d like to think that every human being has a modicum of feeling when a another person is hurting.

I too would like to think that everyone on Earth has, at least, some feelings, some empathy, and some compassion- even if it’s a teeny tiny speck of it. However, this is not reality.

If it was, there wouldn’t be so many serial killers in the world.

Bullies and Schadenfreude

In this world, there are a lot of people who get sick pleasure from the suffering of their fellow man. Moreover, this goes especially for  those they despise and don’t see as human.

Otherwise, we would never have had unspeakable atrocities like the Holocaust, the Jonestown Massacre, or Waco.

Again, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they get pleasure from it. They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

Sadistic Personality:

If anyone does anything of their own free will, it’s something that pleases them to do.

And let’s face it, nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

No one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person. It gives them a sense of power, control, superiority, and domination.

Moreover, they get a thrill from it. Understand that these four things: power, control, superiority, domination, and sadistic jollies, are the payoffs bullies get. Hurting people they perceive as weaker- people they know will not (or can’t) fight back is what they do best.

Through their torment, the bullies send their targets these unspoken messages:

I can do anything I want with you and there is nothing you can do about it.

You are powerless against me.

I am more powerful than you.

I’m superior to you.

I dominate you.

I have control over your life.

I’m over you.

You’re beneath me.

You can’t do anything without my approval.

You are nothing without my approval.

Sadistic Personality:

Understand that when bullies bully, they feel almighty! And they enjoy the rush of power they get from it.

Realize that to people of a sadistic nature, bullying others is like pulling the legs off an ant or the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm.

In order words, physical bullies will beat the target just to hear them writhe, groan, or scream in pain. And the bullies will kick him again and again just to get him to scream louder and more frequently.

It’s the same with psychological bullies. They will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them.

And they do this because they cannot get satisfaction, happiness, control, superiority or… power any other way. Therefore, the only other option for these bullies is to inflict harm on others. It’s the only way they can feel good about themselves.

However, typical people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. Most people feel powerful through making accomplishments and achievements. This is called personal power.

With personal power, they get power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

Most get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Others achieve it through their family life, their talents, their finances, or their physical health.

Therefore, this is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they display their talents and gifts.

Sadistic Personality:

Personal Power vs Power Over

Understand that getting power this way doesn’t require hurting others.

Bullies, on the other hand couldn’t achieve these things without hurting others. That’s what makes them, well, bullies.

They can’t survive in this world without inflicting pain. Even worse, the pain of others is what they thrive on and they can never get enough of it. This is called power over.

Remember that, to these types of people, the rush they get from causing pain is like a drug. And this “drug” produces a high that wears off very quickly.

Therefore, to get another hit, bullies must come back to hurt you again, again, and again. In other words, this isn’t something they can stop cold turkey. Moreover, they can’t stop it without some kind of intervention.

 In other words, they go after who they think is the weakest in the herd. They’re like sharks that smell blood in the water.

Bullies in school may target those in the sped classes or those who have a physical disability. In fact, it isn’t unheard of for bullies to pick on kids who must use wheelchairs.

Many school bullies also target kids with Diabetes or those who are battling cancer. However, many seasoned bullies know better than to target those with visible disabilities because they know they’ll look like monsters if they do.

Therefore, they may target those with invisible disabilities or differences, like those with fibromyalgia, or people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

However, these people bully, they either secretly or openly take pleasure in hurting others. And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them.

This is hard to fathom for many empaths. However, it’s better to find out now so you won’t be paralyzed with shock when it happens to you.

Shock can throw you off-balance and slow your response time. And if you aren’t reeling with shock, the better you’ll be able to take care of it and respond appropriately.

Sadistic Personality:

How to Deal with These Kinds of Bullies

Sadly, adult bullies in the workplace target those with disabilities and health issues too. Most people, I’ve found, don’t really grow up. They may only pretend to just to avoid any social consequences.

The best way to deal with these kinds of people is to find a way to expose their evil. Also, if you have a disability, it’s much better if you don’t try to hide it. Why?

Because if others know you have a disability or health issue, the more likely they are to come to your aid if bullies come for you.

Therefore, instead of hiding any disability or medical issue you might have, use it to your advantage. In other words, use it to gain sympathy and to make your bullies look like the monsters they truly are.

Expose them with it. Because, human nature dictates that if you look a little bit helpless, the right people may stand up for you.

Remember that bullies don’t get the glory they once got in the olden days. In other words, people don’t celebrate bullies like they did during the sixties, seventies, and eighties. They look down on them now.

Therefore, again, take advantage of that!

For example, when I was a freshman in high school, a much bigger girl tried to attack me in the hallway as we were leaving school for the day. I was a tiny 5’4″ 110 lb girl with a 5’8″, 180 lb female bully on my tail.

Bullies are also opportunistic, especially those who bully for pleasure.

The other kids in the hallway took up for me because I was a tiny girl. I’ll tell you how I did it. I just kept walking and let the bully expose herself in the crowded hallway. Moreover, I made myself look as helpless as I possibly could.

Therefore, I was able to garner a little bit of sympathy from the upperclassman and they come to my aid. There were many times I used being tiny (and being a female) to my advantage.

When you’re in danger, you do what you have to do to survive. And this was one of the tricks I used to survive bullying. Being a female had it’s advantages back then and I milked it, not sorry to say.

Therefore, sadistic bullies should read the quote below.

“If your happiness is based on someone else’s misery, it isn’t happiness ..it is a fleeting pleasure that will bite you in the ass…hard.”

This post was all about bullies with a sadistic personality so that you’ll know how to deal with them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

2. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

3. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

4. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

threatening body language examples

Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

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‘Want to know how to read threatening body language so you can protect yourself before bullies have a chance to hurt you? Here are 21 Nonverbal bullying signals you must know about.

threatening body language

Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words. Words have power, yes. But without the body language that goes with them, they’re only static- empty noise.

Seasoned bullies often don’t use words to intimidate you. They threaten you with their body language because it’s less detectable than words.

Therefore, in this post you will learn to read threatening body language so that you can be aware and protect yourself before anything bad happens.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be more alert when bullies try to intimidate you. As a result, you’ll be better prepared to stand up to them or remove yourself from the situation.

This post is all about threatening body language, what it means, and how you can respond to it properly to defend yourself from bullies.

Threatening body language

If you’re stuck in an environment that’s peppered with bullies, the ability to read even the most subtle cues is a must. Bullies are masters at hiding their imperfections, their motives, and their intentions.

Therefore, you must pick up on what they try to conceal, and you can only do it by correctly observing their most subtle cues and pantomimes.

Every movement, even the tiniest, from eye movements to gestures, holds a wealth of information. Moreover, every body position and stance also hold info. Everything people do or don’t do conveys a message. We are forever communicating.

Therefore let’s get right into it. Here are all the threatening body language cues you’re likely to get from bullies.

1. Eyes- That Creepy Piercing Glare.

The bully’s eyebrows narrow and their eyes bore into you without blinking. The head does not move. Moreover, the person stares you down as if they want to attack you.

Understand that bullies do this number to either challenge or intimidate you. Therefore, you must return the same stare to the bully and they’ll likely go away.

2. Nose- The Nostril Flare.

You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flare when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies.

When a bully wants to harm you, their nostrils flare to take in the extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. In other words, when a person’s nostrils flare at you, look out!

Why? Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Therefore, keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to defend yourself.

3. Threatening body Language:

Jaw- The Jaw Clinch.

The bully is gritting his teeth at you and hiding it. When this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding. The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight.

Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore it. Stay vigilant.

4. Mouth- Pursing of the Lips, the One-Sided Upper-Lip Raise, Baring of the teeth (snarling).

There are many expressions bullies use with their mouths.

  • Pursed lips. Lip pursing looks like the lips are thinned out and pushing together hard. Moreover, pursed lips are a sign of anger and hostility. However, pay attention to context because they can also signal concentration and decision-making.
  • The One-Sided Upper-lip Raise is a clear sign of contempt or disgust. Coupled with a glare, the message is even clearer. The person loathes you.
  • Baring of the teeth or snarling. Another thing bullies may do with their mouths is bare their teeth or snarl at you. This is a way for them to threaten and intimidate you. Again, return the expression but be prepared.

Therefore, don’t look away. Instead, return the sentiment to show the bully that the feelings are mutual and you aren’t intimidated. Chances are that the bully will likely shift their eyes away from you.

However, if they don’t, keep your guard up and prepare to defend yourself.

5. Threatening Body Language:

Chin- The Jutted Chin.

The bully tilts the head back and juts his chin forward strictly to look down his nose at you. Therefore, when the bully does this, he is either challenging you, trying to intimidate you, or he truly thinks he’s superior.

Again, return the sentiment and the bully will likely back down.

6. Neck- The Exposed Neck.

The bully will expose and lengthen the neck to challenge you. People do this to show that they aren’t afraid of the person in front of them and can hold their own if necessary.

Moreover, bullies do it to make themselves appear taller and to intimidate anyone in their way. Again, reflect the gesture back to the bully and he’ll likely leave you alone.

7. Shoulders- The Shoulder Throw.

Bullies will often throw their shoulders back to convey confidence and power. Therefore, if you want to appear confident, never slouch the shoulders. Always stand up straight, tall, and with your shoulders back.

8. Chest- The Puffed-Out Chest.

The bully’s chest puffs outward toward you. Also, the chest fills with extra air in preparation for a possible fight. In other words, this is not only done to make the bully look bigger and to intimate you, but also a sign of a coming physical attack.

Be aware and be prepared.

9. Threatening body language:

Arms- Arms Akimbo.

The arms of a bully are often akimbo (elbows out, hands on hips, thumbs forward). This makes the bully appear bigger and more powerful.

Also, bullies use this gesture to intimidate you and show power and superiority over you. Therefore, to raise your chances of warding off these creeps, stand with power, and send the message that you won’t be a victim.

10. Crossed Arms.

When coupled with the jutted chin, bullies will also cross their arms anytime they’re facing you. Crossed arms are not only a sign of superiority and power, they also convey closed body language.

Why? Because, when a bully crosses his arms when facing you, it means they are “closed” to anything you have to say.

However, note that victims will also cross their arms when a bully confronts them. However, the difference is that they cross their arms to avoid a possible attack to the torso. In this context, crossed arms signal intimidation.

 Victims may also throw their hands and arms in front of their face and neck. Instead of using the jutted chin, a victim will lower the head, hide the neck, and slouch. This is where paying attention to clustered body language comes in.

To keep bullies away, never slouch, lower the head nor hide the neck. You must always look confident and mirror the bully’s body language back to them or they’ll eat you alive!

11. Threatening Body Language:

Hands- The Clenching Fists.

The bully will often clench their fists when they want to physically attack you. Therefore, always see this as a sign the person wants to harm you and be ready in case they do.

12. Mid-Section- The Crotch Expose.

This is done mostly by boys and men. Although it is a sign of sexual interest in a potential mate, it can also be used to intimidate you and to assert dominance and power.

You’ll know the difference by the context.

If you are male, take a power pose. On the other hand, if you are female and this is used by a male bully for intimidation, stand facing the bully.

When you face your bully, do so with your feet apart and hands on your hips. Then challenge him with a death glare.

You can also give him a dismissive look and walk away.

13. Legs- Legs Apart.

Again, most bullies stand with their feet shoulder-width apart to appear bigger and more powerful. Confident people also stand this way.

Therefore, if you want to appear confident and keep bullies at bay, this is how you should stand.

The Dominant Leg Back-step.

This is when the bully steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes!

Therefore, if you see the bully step back with one leg, either get clear or be prepared to fight!

14. Threatening Body Language:

Feet- The Toe Point.

Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading. The toes always point to where the person wants to go.

If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction. Whereas, if the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you and their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the context and other cues their body will give you. It pays to observe!

Threatening Body Language:

Putting it all together

Dominance and Superiority Body Language

 15. Bullies take up lots of space to appear bigger.

You will often see bullies place their hands on their hips and stand extra tall. They will lengthen their necks and make sure their torsos are exposed to convey confidence and bravery.

16. They will stand extra close to you.

In fact, bullies will stand so close that they will sometimes touch you as they deliberately invade your personal space. Understand that they do this to intimidate you.

Also, they do this to provoke you and dare you to do anything about it.

17. Bullies will use threatening, clustered facial expressions.

They will frown and purse their lips at you while maintaining unblinking and unwavering eye contact. Also, your bullies will bore their eyes into you like a dagger, without moving their heads.

18. Threatening Body Language:

They will freely touch you because they have no regard for your personal space.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. They may also grab you by the arm and lead (or drag) you where they want you to go.

A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you.

Understand the message behind it. Your bully intends to show you who’s in charge. Moreover, they may also do these things to signal ownership of you.

Yes. You read this correctly. In the bully’s mind, he owns you. The message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

19. If you’re sitting, your bully or bullies will stand over you to look bigger and more intimidating.

Moreover, bullies who are short in stature will stand on something to appear taller than you. Some may even stand on their tiptoes.

20. Threatening Body Language:

Bullies will also lay claim to your territory or property.

Your desk, chair, and parking space is fair game. Also, your bullies will expect others to obey rules when near their claimed area or object.

They may walk into your room, office, dorm, or home uninvited and without knocking. Moreover, your bullies may plop down in your chair without asking permission.

Other invasions include leaning on your vehicle, parking in your parking space, cutting in front of you in line, or propping their feet on the back of your chair when sitting behind you.

Also, your bullies put their hands on your personal belongings with a carefree attitude. Their message is, “I own you, so I own anything that is yours.”

 They’ll walk up to your table during lunch, pick a French fry off your plate in front of you, and pop it in their mouths. Or, your bullies may pick up your fork and take a bite of your food.

Moreover, bullies will pick up your phone and scroll through the contents. They will also rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.

The hidden message is, “I can take whatever I want, and what are you going to do about it?”

Understand that bullies do these things to take away your power. When they do any of these things, tell them in no uncertain terms to keep their hands off your shit! In fact, you may have to knock the hell out of somebody to get your point across!

21. Bullies will invade public territory.

They’ll walk in the center of a hallway or sit on a flight of stairs, expecting people to move and go around them. Also, bullies will stand in the middle of a road or driveway or take their time crossing the street, forcing cars to stop and wait.

In Conclusion:

It’s important that you respond to these signals and do it with power. Never ignore them. Mirror any threatening facial expressions or gestures.

Moreover, if a bully violates your space or belongings, always call them out on it. Never let it happen without asserting yourself. If a bully stares you down, always return the stare. Either look them in the eye or look them between the eyes.

If they look at you while standing feet apart and arms akimbo, reflect the exact same stance back to the bully. If the bully is rushing you, slow down. Do not speed up! Remain calm.

The point is to show the bully that you’re not the least bit intimidated by them. And be willing to fight in you must.

This post is all about threatening body Language and what you can do to respond with strength so that you can let the bullies know you won’t be their victim.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

4. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

5. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

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‘Want to know the reasons bullies target quiet people? Here are all the reasons bullies bully the silent the most so that you can feel better about yourself if you’re an introvert people like to bully.

why bullies target quiet people

Bullies usually go after the people who are the quietest. But why?

In this post you will learn all the reasons bullies target the quiet ones the most. Moreover, if you’re an introvert who others like to bully, you will learn why your silence isn’t such a bad thing and can be a gift.

Once you learn all these important points, you will feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will be compelled to use your silence as a means to expose your bullies.

This post is all about why bullies target quiet people so that you can feel good about your silence rather than see it as a defect.

Why Bullies Target Quiet People

Many times, it’s the quiet person who often gets targeted by bullies. So, why do bullies go after those who have little to say?

The silent types usually mind their own business. They have no need for attention, and they don’t bother anyone.

Quiet people don’t feel the need to be a part of a group to feel important. They work hard and stay out of the way. Therefore, again, why won’t bullies leave them alone?

There are several reasons:

1. Bullies presume quiet people to be weak and timid.

introverts who have low Self-Esteem.

Bullies can sniff out low self-esteem very quickly and from far off. In fact, they seem to have radars for it!

Low self-esteem is difficult to hide because it very subtly seeps out through your body language and your entire demeanor. Moreover, people with low self-esteem carry themselves complete different from those with healthy self-esteem.

They slouch when they sit or stand. Whereas, people with healthy self-esteem will hold their shoulders back and stand up straight.

Also those with low self-esteem tend to have downcast eyes and hold their heads down. On the other hand, confident people look up and ahead while holding their heads high and lengthening the neck.

Naturally, bullies take notice and, therefore, take full advantage!

Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

However, not all introverts have low self-esteem. Bullies often mistake Quiet Confidence for low self-esteem.

Most people are under the misguided belief that quiet people are afraid of conflict. Moreover, they think that the silent types are socially awkward misfits whom others have shot down in the past and are now using avoidance to play it safe.

But in reality, they have better things to do. In other words, these quiet people have no time for gossip and other meaningless chit-chats.

It’s true that many of the silent types do have low self-esteem. However, not all of them do. Therefore, bullies can mistakenly select introverts who often have quiet confidence.

Why? Because they mistake their reserved nature for low self-esteem. As a result, lots of bullies have ended up getting the shock of their lives. The quiet target often snaps and ends up kicking the bullies’ asses up between their shoulders.

Therefore, still waters run deep and bullies need to watch out when messing with the quiet ones. Because quiet people are unpredictable!

2. Bullies mistakenly believe they’re least likely to stand up for themselves.

Unfortunately, bullies think that because someone isn’t loud and obnoxious like they are, they won’t defend themselves when provoked. This is a fallacy. I’ve seen many bullies push silents too far and end up with a face-full of humble pie.

3. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Others mistake quiet people for being standoffish.

Bullies will presume that silents are stuck up and think they’re too good to speak. Moreover, bullies can’t stand it if there’s a possibility that someone is ignoring them.

Remember that bullies love attention and they’ll do anything to get it. Therefore, they target the quiet person to get a reaction out of them. Or, they’ll punish them for “being so stuck up.”

4. People think that the silent are sneaky and have something to hide.

Therefore, bullies will often target them to shake them up. They do this to make them slip up and accidentally reveal “whatever it is they’re hiding” out of nervousness.

Bullies often believe the stereotypes they’ve heard about people of few words:

  • “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!”
  • “The quiet ones are the most dangerous!”
  • “Watch out for the quiet ones!”

But wait! It goes much deeper.

5. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Quiet people intimidate bullies.

Only the bullies will never in this lifetime admit it! So, why would someone so silent be so intimidating to bullies?

It’s because bullies have no idea what to expect from them. Moreover, they have to work twice as hard to study and assess them to see if they’re easy targets.

6. Quiet people are unpredictable.

Therefore, this makes the quiet person a threat. Remember that bullies rely on a target’s predictability to bully effectively.

And if you can’t predict what a person’s next move is likely to be, that, in and of itself, can be very frightening. Moreover, if the person is the kind who’s stoic, all the more difficult it will be to “get their number.” In other words, the less you say, the harder others must work to figure you out.

Also, many bullies see the silence as a challenge and will rise to it by provoking the person to get a reaction.

7. Having little to say can keep bullies off balance.

Put simpler, if bullies can’t figure out where you stand on anything, where your hot buttons are, or your desires, likes, and dislikes, they have less fodder and ammo to use against you.

In other words, if they aren’t sure what gets you excited, ticks you off, or makes you nervous, they can’t control you so easily.

Also, because you don’t show your cards, bullies resent you for making them work so hard to pin them.

8. Why bullies Target Quiet People:

Quiet people expose bullies by staying- well, quiet!

Quiet people are very in tune with what goes on around them. They listen very deeply while those around them rattle off at the mouth, exposing everything about themselves.

As everyone knows, bullies are loud, obnoxious, and talk too much. In fact, most of them never shut up. Most targets are quiet, and yes, many are silent because of the fear bullies have instilled in them.

However, there are those targets who are quiet for a different reason. They know that you can’t observe as effectively when you’re too busy yapping.

Think about it. When you’re quiet, you’re watching people closely and listening very carefully to them. Your silence allows you to pick up on things that those with big mouths miss.

You watch, you listen, and you learn so much about your bullies and bystanders too. You watch their body language and you can do it without staring. In fact, you can use your peripheral vision and no one will suspect a thing from you.

You listen to their voices- tonality, pitch, the slightest quiver- and it tells you so much. Therefore, they always say that it’s the quiet ones you should watch out for.

In this case, they’re right! Because, on your silence, you can pick up everything and have people figured out in no time.

9. In their silence, quiet people terrify bullies.

They keep them under their control. Subconsciously, bullies know this, and it drives them nuts! Why? Because bullies can never tell what the silent types are thinking.

Remember that bullies are masters at reading people. However, the quiet person puts their people-reading skills to the test and bullies hate that!

10. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Bullies desire to know what others are thinking.

Again. Quiet people make bullies uncomfortable and their silence makes it difficult to guess their intentions. Therefore, bullies get frustrated when their people-reading skills don’t work like they have before.

11. Quiet people put bullies on the defensive.

Their answers are short and silences are long. Therefore, this automatically puts bullies on the defense. Why? Because the bullies assume the quiet person is getting short with them.

So, if you’re a silent person and a target of bullies, don’t let them shake you. Continue to play your cards close to the vest.

Realize that your lack of predictability is what protects you. You must understand that silence has a power all it’s own. Use it.

Silence really is Golden.

Understand that the quiet person may not be talking but trust me. They’re watching people, especially bullies, like a hawk and they’re listening.

In fact, they’re studying people’s every micro-expression. They’re analyzing every tiny detail in others’ movements and actions. Moreover, the silent person is assessing every little sound those around them make.

Quiet people are also constantly thinking and planning. So if you’re a bully, especially a loudmouth one, don’t underestimate them. Remember, “it’s the quiet ones you must watch out for.”

And if you’re a target, use your silence to figure out not only your bullies, but also the bystanders and those who claim to be your friends too.

Remember. Your silence can be a powerful weapon if you know how to use it.

This post was all about why bullies target quiet people so that, if you’re an introvert, you can feel good about your silence and use it to expose bullies and keep them on the back foot.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

3. Family Bullying: 9 Powerful Tips to Buffer Yourself Peacefully

4. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

5. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

hostile body language at work

Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical

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‘Want to know how to recognize hostile body language when you see it? Here are all the warning signs that your bullies either want to or are about to physically attack you.

hostile body language

Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected. This type of bullying can occur either at school,  in the workplace, or even in the community.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the subtlest of hostile body language so that you can be prepared when a bully gets ready to attack you.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be better prepared to defend yourself against any physical attack.

This post is all about how to recognize hostile body language so that you can fight back against physical bullying and ensure your safety.

Hostile Body Language

Before we get into the body language cues, let’s first talk about proxemics and zone distances. So, what is proxemics?

Proxemics is knowledge and study of personal space. In other words, it deals with the amount of space between you and other people. This amount of space between people is known as zone distance.

We practice different zone distances based on the relationship we have with the people in the room around us.

There are 4 different types of zone distances.

1. Intimate Zone

(6-18 inches) This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will move into your intimate zone when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack.

Anytime someone we don’t know, don’t trust or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close. Therefore, our minds and bodies automatically go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Many bullies may also invade your intimate area only to toy with you and get you to react. Then, they’ll only step back and laugh at your reaction.

But do not ignore it! No matter how they do it, your bullies are still invading your space and you absolutely must set boundaries.

Call the bully out. Moreover, let them know that they are in your personal space and that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable.

If they still violate your space after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to fight. So, knock the living hell out of them and beat them so bad that they’ll think twice before doing it again.

2. Hostile body language:

Personal Zone

(18-48 inches) We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close. Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

3. Social Zone

(4-12 feet) These distances, we stand from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from you.

Therefore, you might not want to respond if you don’t want to look unstable. However, do keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

4. Public Zone 

(Over 12 feet) We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from you and not look conspicuous or threatening.

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

Hostile Body Language:

Nonverbal Signals that a Bully is About to Attack You

If a bully is about to commit physical violence against you, you’ll know it by paying attention to their body language. Here is what bullies do when they are about to get physical.

1. They’ll get in your face.

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. Therefore, they’ll get in your face.

I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge you. Also, bullies may do this to dare you to hit them first.

Therefore, haul off and deck this person with every ounce of strength you have! This may sound old school or even barbaric to some people.

However, understand that there is no “nice” way to handle it when someone gets in your face. Bullies don’t respond to politeness or diplomacy. They only respond to strength and power.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to knock the hell out of anyone who gets in your face. Because you can best believe that if a bully gets in your face, their next move will be to put hands on you.

2. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll Stand too close behind you.

Bullies will walk up behind you and stand way too close. Moreover, they’ll stand so close that the front of their bodies are actually touching your back. There’s a name for this type of move. It’s called looming.

Understand that bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Therefore, see this for what it is, a violation of your personal space. Bullies are notorious for getting too close.

These types of bullies have unlimited audacity. They do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Never allow this type of behavior to go on. Why? Because they will only increase the behavior if you let them get away with it.

Again, understand that when the bully gets in your face or looms you from behind, he is trying to intimidate you or challenging you, looking to fight. So, do what you have to do to teach this idiot a lesson!

3. they’ll stand over you while you’re sitting down.

If you’re sitting, the bully or bullies will often stand over you to look bigger. They do this also to intimidate, challenge, or provoke you.

This is also a violation of your personal space. Moreover, it is a precursor to a physical attack. Therefore, you must beat them to it. Be quick about jumping up and knocking the holy hell out of them.

The only way to handle this type of bullying is to make them never want to try it again!

4. Hostile Body Language:

They may grab you like an object.

 For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. Moreover, they may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go.

A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you. Understand that the bully intends to show you who’s in charge. Or they might want to compete with you.

The bully may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes, in the bully’s mind, he owns you. Therefore, the message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

Again, if a bully just reaches out and grabs you, it’s time to haul off and knock somebody’s teeth down their throat! Remember that we teach others how to treat us by what we put up with.

Therefore, teach this bully that there are consequences for anyone who puts their hands on you! Give them the business end of your fist!

5. They’ll size you up.

Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up. They do this by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests.

Male bullies will snarl at their victims, whereas female bullies will glare at their targets with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.

Bullies often glare at their targets persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.

Therefore, these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!

6. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll give you the death glare.

Bullies will give you a murderous glare. Moreover, they’ll maintain that glare. This will be an unblinking and unwavering eye contact as they bore their eyes into you like a dagger. Also, they will do this without moving their heads.

That stare will make the hairs stand on the back of your neck. That creepy, bone-chilling look will make you stop whatever you are doing or clam up if you’re talking.

Moreover, they will look at you so intensely, making you feel as if you’re under a microscope. The person doing the staring will be eerily calm.

This is not to say that all staring is necessarily bad. For instance, if a person likes you and has feelings for you, they may also stare. Moreover, their pupils will dilate and crinkles will form around the eyes every time they look at you.

However, the look bullies give you is much different. Their pupils only constrict, becoming tiny black holes in the irises of their eyes.

Moreover, the stare is a cold, prolonged “I’m going to kill you” look which stops you cold. This is the best way I can describe it.

However, the trick is to not let this glare intimidate you. You must realize that bullies pull this number to either challenge or intimidate you.

Therefore, return the stare and the bully will likely go away.

7. They will flare their nostrils at you.

You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flair when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies.

The nostrils flair to take in extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. When a bully does this, he’s hostile. Therefore, when a person’s nostrils flair at you, look out!

Why? Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to throw up your dukes and defend yourself.

8. Hostile Body Language:

The bully’s toes will point toward you.

This is known as the toe-point. Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading.

The toes always point to where the person wants to go. If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction.

If the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you. Therefore, their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the other cues their body will give you. It pays to observe and be prepared.

9. They will invade your privacy.

Bullies will very carefully observe you. Also, they’ll eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details. Why?

So they can take the private info and spread it to make you look bad. They may also read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets.

Again, they want to use the info to damage your reputation. Moreover, bullies may even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with.

If you are a victim of bullying, understand that bullies do this on purpose. They invade your privacy to intimidate or dominate you.

Therefore, you must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space and territory.

Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

9. Hostile Body Language:

Bullies will deliberately knock stuff out of your arms or off your desk as they walk by.

This is a clear provocation to fight. Why? Because they’re daring you to do something about it. Therefore, do what you must do to impose consequences. Call them out on their bad behavior even if you must raise your voice and say, “Cut it out!” or “You stop that right now!”

10. They will pinch their chin.

Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin. They pinch their chin to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them.

In other words, it is a way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.

Therefore, understand that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.

 11. Bullies will clinch their jaw.

When they look at you and clinch the jaws, the bully is gritting their teeth and hiding it. Therefore, when this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding outward.

The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight. Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore. Stay vigilant.

12. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll look at you and pound their fist into something.

Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall or the palm of his/her opposite hand.

You must realize that any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for your physical body.

Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.

Again, be prepared.

13. Bullies will clinch their fists.

Clinching their fists is another sign that they want to physically attack you. Therefore, always be ready just in case they do.

14. They will do what is known as Mock Fighting.

When a bully mock fights, they will look at you while, throwing punches in the air. The bully will also dance around like a boxer as he does this.

You must realize that he is doing these things to show you what he wants to do to you. I can’t stress this enough. Be on the lookout.

15. Hostile Body Language:

Snarling and Baring teeth.

This is a no-brainer. It’s a clear sign of a coming physical attack. Also, bullies do this to intimidate you. Therefore, don’t let it scare you.

Instead, just stand there and glare at them when they do this. And don’t look away. Keep glaring until the bully breaks eye contact.

Never be the one to break eye contact first. Stare the bully down and maintain that stare until the bully gives up.

The point is to show the bully that they don’t scare you. Also, it pays to be prepared and alert.

The bully may also look at you while frowning and pursing their lips. Therefore, mirror the same expression back to them. Again, don’t be the first to look away. Maintain eye contact until they give up.

16. The bully will step back with their dominant foot.

This is when the bully faces you and steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes!

Therefore, knock the hell out of them before they do it to you. Because stepping back on the dominate leg always, ALWAYS, signals coming physical violence. So, deliver an earth-shattering punch to destabilize the bully.

Then keep punching them until they’re on the floor.

17. Hostile Body Language:

They will accidentally (on purpose) run into you or trip you.

You’ll automatically know when this is no accident. Therefore, deck the bully in the nose and there won’t be a next time.

This post was all about hostile body language so that you will know it when you see it and either prepare yourself or address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

6. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

curiosity vs nosiness reddit

Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

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‘Want to know how to distinguish curiosity vs nosiness? Here are all the differences you need to know about.

curiosity vs nosiness

People often confuse curiosity for nosiness and vise versa. However, the two are very different.

In this post, you will learn all the differences of curiosity vs nosiness to enable you protect yourself from nosy people.

Once you learn these important life-secrets, you’ll better be able to avoid nosy people and bullies like the plague. Moreover, you’ll feel much freer to let your curiosity guide you to learning new things.

This post is all about curiosity vs nosiness to give you the knowledge to know the difference and to help you guard your own personal life against nosy people.

Curiosity vs nosiness

A fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

So, what are the differences between the two?

1. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries.

On the other hand, nosiness does.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosy is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out,”
“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

2. Curious people and those who are nosy do things differently.

In other words, a curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. A curious person is more interested in educational information. Therefore, they want to know more about how things work. They could care less about the personal lives of other people.

On the other hand, a nosy person will pry into your personal and private business. Moreover, they do it to get dirt on you to spread around.

A curious person will study educational materials. They won’t stick their nose into your business. However, a nosy person will snoop through your mail and your computer. If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t do it.

Understand that bullies are such people. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

3. Curiosity vs Nosiness:

Nosiness is invasive. Curiosity isn’t.

Nosy people will ask you questions about your personal business. Nothing is off limits to them because they love to make your private business theirs.

Moreover, if you refuse to answer, these people will claim that you have something to hide.
However, understand that this is how your bullies trick you. They use that line to coerce you into giving up the details.

What’s even worse is that you may feel compelled to tell your business just to keep from looking as if you are hiding something. Therefore, you cave in and go against your better judgement.

Again, you only answer the bullies’ questions, just to prove that you don’t have anything to hide and consequently, get yourself into trouble.

So, if you ever find yourself in this predicament, know that your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Therefore, realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Bullies will also accuse you of being nosy when you’re only trying to learn something new.

For example, this happened to me when I was a teenager. During History class, we were studying about World War II. I asked the teacher how it was that the German people fell for Hitler’s lies and all the news propaganda they were being fed.

For some reason, this angered many of my bullies, who were in class with me and they accused me of being nosy. Unfortunately, I fell for the lie and let it have a negative impact on my learning.

Therefore, it’s so important to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter bullies and busybodies with confidence.

Also, you’ll be able to confidently defend yourself any time some snake accuses you of being nosy when you’re only trying to become more educated on a certain topic.

4. Curiosity vs Nosiness:

They have two different meanings.

Curiosity is a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broadens one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow.

Moreover, curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries nor to cause harm.

Nosiness, on the other hand, is prying in other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and to cause harm to them.

Therefore, learn these differences by heart and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the above-mentioned scenarios.

5. Curiosity seeks to help. Nosiness seeks to harm.

You may have a nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life. Maybe you deal with the workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do. You might even have a spying neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window to see who’s coming and going at your house.

Whatever the scenario, these kinds of people can be a real hemorrhoid if you’re the type who only wants to be left alone and live in peace.

However, here’s the silver lining to having nosy neighbors. If you have a burglar breaking into your house, the nosy neighbor will be the first to see it and call the cops. Therefore, in those cases, thank God for nosy neighbors because they do serve a great purpose!

However most nosy people have no inhibitions when it comes to prying. They’ll ask you how much you get paid at your job. They also try to find out the cost of your rent or mortgage? And when they do, it’ll likely shock the daylights out of you.

However, you don’t have to answer these types of questions. You can politely tell them that they’re was getting too personal. Or, you can say that you don’t share such private information with anyone, not even your family members.

And when you do, they won’t like it. However, that shouldn’t concern you. You have a right to maintain your privacy.

Curiosity vs Nosiness:

Why do bullies pry into your private business?

These types of people have a lot of nerve. The questions they ask will make you cringe! They often leave you scratching your head because you just can’t believe anyone would be so brazen.

However, there’s a reason why bullies ask you these types of questions. They do it strictly for power.

In other words, their gossip, butting-in, and having a constant nose stuck in your life is a form of attempted control. Bullies will often ask you these kinds of questions to embarrass or humiliate you.

Therefore, anybody who openly asks you such questions has no respect for you and you should deal with them accordingly. Also, because they can’t seem to control their own lives, they wish to control yours. And they do it for nothing more than to cause an annoyance or embarrassment.

People who are nosy will watch you closely and eavesdrop on your conversations. They always have an ear cocked. Around them, the walls have ears.

On the other hand, those who are curious will read a lot, they’re study, and they’ll ask questions that do not violate anyone’s privacy.

How should you respond to nosy people who ask questions they shouldn’t ask?

 First off, don’t let it upset you if a bully or anyone else has the audacity to ask you anything about your private business. Instead, just  laugh and make fun of them. And while you’re laughing and making fun of them, enjoy it!

Understand that bullies have more nerve than a bad tooth. Therefore, expect them to pry into your business. Moreover, expect them to openly ask you personal, even embarrassing questions.

You might as well prepare for it now because people like these are everywhere!
Nosiness tends to be generational and run in families.

Many nosy folks were raise by parents who were the same way. Some even had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

Therefore, blow them off and wave them away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

Don’t get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them. Because it’s these types who really need to get a life and often don’t have one. Or, if you’re a smart-ass like I am, take the opportunity to have a little fun with the person. Just catch it, throw it back at them and shame them with it.

And why not? They asked for it.

On the other hand, you should admire someone who’s curious. Why? Because they don’t intrude. They only have a desire to learn and grow.

This post was all about curiosity vs nosiness so that you’ll be able to tell the difference between the two and use the information to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

2. Confidence vs Arrogance

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

5. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

bullied for being autistic reddit

Bullied for Being Autistic: 7 Reasons Those with ASD Suffer High Rates of Bullying

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‘Want to know why people with ASD are bullied for being autistic? Here are all the answers you need to know, especially if you’re on the spectrum or have a loved one who is.

bullied for being autistic

Sadly, those on the Autism Spectrum suffer THE highest rates of bullying. What most people with someone with ASD in the family don’t understand is why their loved one gets bullied so much and so often.

In this post, you will learn the exact reasons people target those on the spectrum for bullying, persecution, and oppression so that you can easily and confidently call it out when you see it.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to stand up for your loved one and call out any bully who dares to exploit them in any way.

This post is all about people who are bullied for being autistic. Moreover, it’s about the reasons bullies love to target those on the spectrum and how you can call this insidious and cowardly form of bullying.

Bullied for Being Autistic

Sadly, most people with autism are doomed to a life of bullying, abuse, and exploitation. As a result, they often live a lifetime of loneliness and isolation. Here’s why bullies love to target the autism community.

1. Those on the Autism spectrum aren’t able to read social cues.

This makes them easy targets for predators, particularly, bullies and abusers. When a person isn’t able to read social cues, it’s as if they’re walking blind.

Therefore, the victim may not know when they’re in danger. In other words, they may not be able to tell or to sense when someone is evil and means to hurt them.

This is because the victim on the Autism spectrum isn’t able to read facial expressions and body language. And when you aren’t able to read non-verbal communication, bullies can easily pick up on it.

As a result, bullies will take full advantage. For example, many people on the spectrum are lonely and long to make friends. In fact, they are desperate to have friends.

Bullies pick up on this desperation. Therefore, they will often pretend to be friends with the victim with autism. Moreover, while these bullies put on this fake act to trick the AS person into trusting them, they only mock and ridicule them in front of other people.

They do this to make a fool out of the person and humiliate them.

After this happens enough times, the person with ASD will isolate themselves. Why? Because they’ll grow afraid of relationships and friendships, thinking that other people just aren’t safe.

People who pretend to be friends with you to get close enough to hurt you can shatter your faith and trust in humanity. Therefore, you isolate yourself. You may even resign yourself to a life of isolation.

Therefore, we must teach those on the spectrum to read nonverbal communication, listen to their intuitions, and recognize evil people when they meet them. Again, these skills can be taught!

Let’s teach those with Autism Spectrum Disorder these skills!

This happens in the workplace too.

Adults with Autism often suffer social exclusion and are ostracized by their coworkers. Also, supervisors and managers may exploit them.

Again, being on the autism spectrum dooms many people to a sad and lonely life of bullying, abuse, and exploitation. As a result, they don’t really live, they only exist.

2. Bullied for Being Autistic:

People on the spectrum often Have Difficulty Asserting themselves properly.

In other words, when bullies provoke them,  one of two things usually happen. They either don’t stand up to them at all or they fly into a rage.

Not standing up for yourself can give others the impression that you’re a doormat. Moreover, people see that there are no consequences for their bullying behavior. Therefore, they think it’s okay.

On the other hand, flying into a rage can make the person with autism seem mentally unstable or dangerous. Therefore, this is another reason they’re more susceptible to bullying and abuse.

3. Those on the spectrum are known for having meltdowns.

Bullies may witness them having meltdowns and think it’s funny. As a result, bullies begin to see the victim with autism as a source of free entertainment.

Therefore, they may deliberately try to provoke the victim with autism and get them to react so that they can get their jollies.

Here’s another thing bullies may do. They  may also use the meltdown against their autistic victim. For instance, they may use it as confirmation of mental instability.

Moreover, bullies may also use the meltdown to make it look like the person with ASD started the altercation and make themselves look like the innocent victims.

And lastly, bullies will use the meltdowns as a distraction from their own bad behavior.

In other words, if the other person’s behavior is worse and over the top, then, who are you likely to look at? The bullies’ behavior or that of the person who’s flipping out because the bullies provoked them?

Sadly, people use those with autism as the perfect cover for their own abuse and bad behavior. I’ll do another post on this later.

4. Bullied for Being Autistic:

People on the spectrum often have poor eye-hand coordination.

In other words, those with autism often struggle with clumsiness. This is because they have poor depth perception and judgement of distance. Also, they usually have poor balance.

Therefore, bullies see them as easy targets for physical bullying. Add that to the meltdowns and rages those with autism are known to have and others only think that the bullies are the innocent victims when, in fact, the opposite is true!

This is what makes them easy targets for physical bullying.

5. Those with Autism often have trouble making eye contact.

Anytime someone has difficulty making eye contact, bullies automatically see this as a sign of intimidation and low self-esteem. Therefore, this is a hallmark of an easy target.

Poor eye contact signals fear and bullies thrive on their victims’ fear. Always remember that!

6. Most People with Autism are in the special Education Class at school.

Kids in sped classes get bullied terribly because most others presume them to be “ret4rded.” Those with autism are no exception.

Therefore, other students see anyone who is in the sped classes to be of lower social status. And bullies will bully them because of it.

7. Bullied for Being Autistic:

People with Autism are Different.

The dark side to human nature dictates that anyone who is different should be excluded from the social group. We know that they should be included and that we should accept those who are different.

However, bullies don’t think like we do and sadly, the majority of bystanders don’t either. People tend to gravitate toward and take care of those who are most like them. Therefore, it’s sad to say that those on the autism spectrum may never fit in with the neurotypical majority.

This alone makes them prime targets for bullying. Therefore, we need to be proactive in protecting them from bullies.

In conclusion:

Sadly, those in the autism community are the most vulnerable and least valued in most schools, companies, organizations, and communities. It’s a grim reality that we all need to be aware of.

Furthermore, they are, for the most part, defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that nine times out of ten, the rest of society and even members of authority do not see people with autism as human beings.

Should it be any wonder bullies prey the most on sped students, those with autism, and anyone who is disabled? It’s because bullies are great big cowards. All too often, those with autism are unwilling or unable to defend themselves effectively.

Because students with autism are usually low on social intelligence, bullies can exploit them at will.

Bullied for Being Autistic:

Even teachers aren’t above bullying students on the spectrum.

I’ve witnessed, firsthand, a group of cliquey teachers laughing at and mocking sped students. And these people were supposed to be adults!

These cruel educators would look down their noses at these kids and openly ridicule them!Moreover, I also heard the mean-spirited comments.

The teachers remarked about how these kids would never find a job nor contribute anything to society. They also concluded that they would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once they got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for those students when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. I knew to keep my mouth shut because these bullies were teachers.

Every school and workplace has those types of teachers and managerial staff. Moreover, they are usually the ones who mistreat lunch ladies and janitors as well. It’s a crying shame!

This is why we need upstanders who aren’t afraid to stand up for these people. However, sadly, upstanders are only few and far between.

Therefore, we also must teach these victims how to stand up for themselves.

This post was all about those who are bullied for being autistic and why bullies do it so that we can call these bullies out when we see it happen.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

4. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

target vs victim bullying

Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

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‘Want to know the difference between target vs victim of bullying? Here’s why the words you choose have the power to determine what you are.

target vs victim

Are  you a target or victim? If people have made you an object for bullying, could it be that you’re not a victim but a target? Also, could it be that you’re a target not because you’re weak or inferior, but because you’re a threat?

You may not know it. But, maybe, your voice and your very being are powerful?  So powerful, it scares them to death?

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference of a target vs victim so that you can know which category you fall into and how to empower yourself.

Once you learn this important information, you will be prompted to make a few mental changes and feel more powerful.

This post is all about how to distinguish between target vs victim of bullying so that you can decide which one you’d like to be.

Target vs Victim

Which one are you?

Believe it or not, being a victim has a lot to do with mindset and words have enormous power. In other words, if you’re a victim, you’re right, but if you’re not, you’re also right. A victim mentality can only bring about more abusers, more abuse, and therefore, more victimhood.

Victim mentality only hurts you. It is the downfall of many survivors of bullying. It keeps you defeated and oppressed. Therefore, it keeps you a “victim.”

1. The term “Victim” Breeds Laziness.

Why? Because it keeps you in the mindset that you are powerless to do anything about your situation. Therefore, if you feel powerless, you’re least likely to try.

Powerless means that, no matter how hard you try, your situation will remain the same. So, you’ll see no point in putting in the effort to bring about change. And you’ll become to lazy to even try.

Therefore, you’ll only resign yourself out of hopelessness and learned helplessness. Resignation can only bring laziness.

Why? Because, when you have the victim mentality, you’re afraid of taking back your power because to do so requires personal responsibility.

Taking back your power means that you make your own reality. And you do so by making your own decisions, your own path, and your own successes.

All this requires that you take risks and face the possibility of failure.  And yes! It’s scary!

However, you must create your own happiness and your own power. Whether you know how to do that, the responsibility is still there and always will be.

2. Target vs Victim:

The word “Victim” keeps you dependent.

In other words, when you’re a victim, you’re at the mercy of someone else. Moreover, it means that another person has to come rescue you. Here’s where dependency comes in.

Therefore, you must be your own hero. When you’re bullied, the only person you can depend on is you! Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves to ensure our own safety, happiness, and successes.

3. The term “victim” reeks of inferiority.

When you view yourself as a victim, subconsciously, you feel inferior. It dictates that you think that you’re nothing without the consent of another person and that’s wrong!

Therefore, I want you to know with every fiber of your being that, you’re inferior to no one! You have more power than you know. Therefore, you can change your situation.

Who is anyone to decide who you are or what you can do?

You’re not a victim. Yes, you may feel like a victim. But are you really?

This comes from personal experience.

The memoir about the bullying I endured is entitled, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying). However, was I really a victim? I’ve come to realize that I was a target. However, I was never a victim!

I say this because I had the victim mentality when I was young, and it almost ruined my life. Please don’t let it ruin yours.

Being a target of bullying is one of the hardest things a person can endure. But, one thing your bullies can’t take is your mind unless you allow it. Please don’t allow them to turn you against yourself.

Why? Because that’s what they want and you deserve better. Much better!

Therefore, know that no matter how bad things get, there’s always hope.

Target vs Victim:

Which would you rather be?

Many people are under the assumption that being a target and being a victim are one and the same. However, they’re quite different and have different meanings.

Notice the difference in the actual meanings between the terms, “target” and “victim.”

A target is a mark you aim at- as in a shooter aiming his gun at targets at a gun shooting range for practice.

A victim is a person or animal who others kill and sacrifice. When someone is sacrificed, they assume the blame and punishment for the sins and shortcomings of others.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Words have enormous power- more so than most realize. Therefore, stop using the word “victim” to describe yourself. Use the word “target” instead.

Being a target is much more empowering than being a victim.

4. There’s no power in being a victim.

A target can defend themselves, whereas, a victim cannot. A victim is powerless to do anything about their situation. There’s no power nor dignity in being a victim.

However, when a person is a target, they maintain some power and dignity. In that, they lessen the impact of the bullying on their mental health.

Therefore, if you can change the way you view yourself and see your bullies exactly for who and what they are, they will have little control over you. Moreover, you’re less likely to allow their words and behavior to get into your head.

Target vs victim:

A target is a mark. a victim is prey.

In other words, a target is a person chosen by bullies as a perceived enemy to attack. On the other hand, a victim is a person bullies harm, oppress, and destroy.

The word victim says that you don’t stand up for yourself. You only capitulate. But the word target says that, although people attack you on a regular basis, you don’t give into fear. Moreover, you stand up for yourself no matter what it may cost you.

Your Choice of Words Can Have Consequences You Don’t Realize

When you view yourself as a victim, you give your bullies exactly what they want. You hand them power over your life.

You, in a sense, surrender yourself. Consequently, you will most likely to suffer physical and/or psychological damage.

On the other hand, when you see yourself as a target, you won’t acquiesce. You’re least likely to take the bully’s behavior personally. Moreover, when you have a target mentality instead of a victim mentality, you buffer your self-esteem from the attacks.

Therefore, you salvage your overall mental health. You maintain your personal power. And ultimately, you take control of your life and refuse to allow anyone to make you, their victim.

For example, I’ve witnessed both in movies and in real life, incidences of bullying where the bully would tell the target, “I’m going to make you, my bitch!” In other words, his victim.

This should give you a better understanding of why you should see yourself as a target rather than a victim. Because you are nobody’s bitch! Nope! You’re no bitch at all! You are a fighter, a warrior, a lion!

5. Target vs victim:

Victims surrender. Targets keep fighting!

Realize that your bullies’ goal is to control you. And if you see yourself as a victim, you weaken yourself. Thus, you play right into your bullies’ hands. But when you see yourself as a target and refuse to become a victim, you refuse to allow them to take control over your life.

Therefore, you keep fighting. You stand up for yourself. You may get knocked down, but you don’t stay down. Therefore, you always get back up again.

You’re a Target, Not a Victim!

It’s not my intention to minimize any suffering you’ve endured at the hands of your bullies. Bullying hurts, no doubt about it! And I feel your pain.

So, know that everything you’ve gone through is real. Your story is valid and worthy to be told and heard.

However, I want you to understand this. If you’re the object of bullying, you are a target, yes. However, you don’t have to be a victim.

Victims are scapegoats and sacrificial lambs. Targets refuse to be.

Think about it, victims accept responsibility for things they have no control over. They take blame for evils they never committed nor took part in. And when they carry these burdens that aren’t theirs to carry, they end up paying debts they don’t owe.

Here’s an example. A bully blames his target for his own anger, insecurity, jealousy, and incompetence. And it comes out in the bully’s behavior when he bullies that person. Then later the bully and others may gaslight the target when he speaks out.

Another example would be that a rapist wants to make their rape target responsible for their own sexual frustration. Then, later, the target is presumed to be at fault for the rapist’s behavior by the defense attorneys in court.

However, instead of accepting the blame, both of these people continue to stand up for themselves. This is target behavior.

Victim behavior would be if they surrendered and accepted blame for their tormentors’ behavior.

target vs victim:

A Target Endures Bullying but Refuses to Become a Victim

Sure, people hurl blame at targets just as they do at victims. However, the difference between a victim and a target is that the victim accepts the blame.

Moreover, he blames himself for what happened to him then spirals downhill into depression, regret, and self-hatred. On the other hand, a target refuses to accept the blame because he knows with every fiber of his being that his attackers are the ones in the wrong.

He sees his attackers for the cowards they are. Therefore, he sees the incessant gaslighting as proof that they’re full of shit. Moreover, he understands that they’re only trying to cover their butts to keep from being exposed.

A target won’t allow his attackers to make them a victim!

‘You see? It’s all in how you see yourself. And how you see yourself is determined by the inner dialogue you have. In other words, the words you use have ways of shaping the way you think.

Moreover, the words you speak to yourself are the difference between living in heaven or hell. In other words, they determine whether you have self-love and acceptance or depression and self-loathing.

Words also decide whether you continue to stand strong despite the attacks and pain bullies inflict, or whether you succumb to them.

Therefore, you must see yourself as a target but never a victim!

This post is all about the difference of target vs victim so that you can distinguish between them and chose to empower yourself no matter how difficult bullies make things for you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

3. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

empowerment definition

Empowerment: 7 Things that Come with It

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‘Want to know everything that comes with empowerment? Here is everything you need to do to empower yourself against bullying and abuse.

empowerment

Empowerment from bullying is the best feeling ever and I say this from personal experience. However, it comes with some personal responsibility. Why do I say this? Again, it’s because of experience.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about empowerment and the responsibility that comes with it. This is so that you’ll know what to do to empower yourself against bullying.

Once you learn all this essential information, you will be more inclined to take the appropriate steps needed to empower yourself and overcome bullying and abuse.

This post is all about empowerment so that you know exactly what to do and the steps needed to get there.

Empowerment

Empowerment. What exactly does it mean and how do you get there? First off, empowerment takes a lot of responsibility. In other words, it takes patience and hard work.

Therefore, before you can empower yourself, you’ll need to take a certain degree of personal responsibility. Scary, huh? Don’t worry, it’s easier than you think. Here’s are 7 things that come with empowerment.

1. Read and Learn all about bullies and bullying.

In other words, do research on bullies and bullying. This means learning all about the mindsets and mentality of bullies.

Learn who they select as victims and why they select these particular people. Also, gain knowledge on the different types of bullies and bullying, the tactics they use, and what to expect from them in any given situation.

Moreover, you must learn what to do if anyone ever targets you for bullying. Learn how to document bullying and do your own investigation. Gain knowledge on the best ways to respond instead of reacting to bullying.

And lastly and most importantly, get abreast on all your bullies’ weaknesses and shortcomings. In other words, find out where their most vulnerable areas are and learn how to exploit them to protect yourself.

Read all you can about bullying. And when you read, you must also think about all the behaviors your bullies have displayed. Then, you can put two and two together.

And once you do, you will finally see the bullies for the pathetic cowards they are. Then, your self-esteem will soar!

2. Empowerment:

Stop Seeing yourself as a victim. Instead, see yourself as a target!

Words have power. What you speak, you’re likely to become. Therefore, change your words and you will change your mindset.

Instead of referring to yourself as a bullying victim, begin saying that you’re a bullying target.

This is the first step in changing your mindset and getting out of victim-mode.  Not only must you learn about the mindsets of bullies, you must also learn about your own mindset as well.

Learn about the mindsets of victims and also the mentality of people who refuse to be victims. The key is to change your own way of thinking too.

Stop thinking of yourself as a victim and you’ll have more control over your life. Also, you’ll have the courage to make your own decisions, even if those decisions upset other people.

However, if you don’t get rid of that victim-attitude, you’ll only continue to allow your bullies to take away your power. Thus, you’ll remain dis-empowered.

As a result, you’ll least likely put in the work to reclaim your power.

3. Get to know your worth.

Knowing your worth means knowing your value as a human being. Moreover, it means knowing who you are and the good you deserve. And, more importantly, it means knowing what you do and don’t like and what you will and will not put up with.

Therefore, when you know your worth, you won’t settle for less than what you want. In other words, you won’t put up with abuse nor will you crawl behind anyone who doesn’t value you.

Instead, you’ll be picky who you associate with. You’ll be selective of your friends and romantic partners. Also, you’ll get rid of the creeps who disrespect you. And you’ll do it without so much as a shred of guilt.

Then your self-esteem will rise significantly.

4. Find your purpose.

Having a purpose is so empowering! However, it requires that you find out what that purpose is. Think back to those childhood inclinations and try to remember what your strongest inclination was.

Did you want to be a singer? A writer? This is one way to find it.

5. Empowerment.

Find your passion.

What do you enjoy doing? What is your favorite hobby? How might it help you to make the world a better place?

If you can answer these questions, then chances are, you’ve found your passion. Therefore, practice it. In fact, indulge in it!

Do what makes you happy and what make you feel alive!

6. Work on your goals and pursue your dreams.

If you do this, you’ll be too busy to worry about what people, especially bullies, think of you. You’ll also be too preoccupied with your own stuff to hate on your bullies.

You’ve got things to do! You don’t have time to worry about them! Moreover, you’ll be doing what fulfills you. Therefore, that is power in and of itself!

7. Love Yourself.

To love yourself is to accept yourself. And to accept yourself is to just be yourself! Therefore, when you love yourself, you don’t worry about who doesn’t. You can just relax and be.

That is also empowering!

Loving yourself also means setting boundaries, even with your bullies. Then, you must enforce those boundaries if anyone violates them. This is self-care. Loving yourself includes taking care of yourself.

Empowerment: It Won’t Come Easy!

 Finding your purpose and passion are wonderful ways to empower yourself. It gives you something to do that will take your mind off the bullying you suffer. Therefore, the bullying won’t have the effect on you that it will have if you only sit around and dwell on it.

However, it won’t come without resistance from those around you. Sadly, when we chose to follow our purpose, passion, goals, and dreams, it can induce jealousy and insecurity, especially in your bullies. Moreover, they will find ways to distract you from achieving your desired outcomes.

Also, getting knowledge of your bullies and of bullying can empower you. In fact, it’s one of the most empowering things you can do. And once you realize where bullying comes from and why bullies do it, it won’t have near the effort on your self-esteem that it once did.

Again, don’t think any of these steps won’t come with some resistance.

So, what are the things bullies and other people will do to get in your way?

1. They will fill you with doubt.

If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this. Those who fill you with doubt also doubt themselves. When their own self-doubt holds them back, they will project it onto you and hold you back as well.

2. They won’t be as excited about your dreams as you are.

But don’t take it personally. Only a few people in your life will be as excited about your dreams as you and vise versa.

You will only be as excited about the dreams of those you love most and wish well. And bullies will laugh at your dreams. This is a fact of life.

Therefore, don’t let that kill your excitement and don’t let it stop you. Because, if you’re not careful, it’s easy to let their lack of enthusiasm discourage you.

3. Empowerment:

They may go a step further and discourage you.

Bullies may tell you that your goals or dreams aren’t worth pursuing. Maybe, they’ll tell you that you’ll only fail. This can inject fear in your mind and cause you to hesitate taking the first step to success.

Therefore, again don’t let them stop you! Keep going until you reach the finish line!

 Play Mind Games with Yourself If you have to.

Understand that bullies and others only discourage you based on their own failures and limitations. Their negativity comes from their own worldview. And their worldview is that of failure and disappointment.

In other words, their own limited self-beliefs stem from their own lack of success. Moreover, it comes from their observation of those around them who also failed to achieve their goals and dreams.

As a matter of fact, some discourage you because they’re afraid you’ll succeed. And, if you reach success, you might just force them to take stock of their own lack of accomplishment.

But others, who may indeed care about you, may call themselves trying to spare you from the heartache of failure. These are the people who mean well. However, they’re going about it the wrong way.

For example, let’s say you want to go into the music business and bullies are piling on a mountain of ridicule and disparagement.

Empowerment:

Here are some questions you will need to ask yourself.

  • Do these bullies know more about music than you do?
  • Do they understand you as a person? Have they even taken the time to do so?
  • Have they themselves worked hard and achieved any of their own goals and dreams?

If the answer is no, then you should give no consideration to anything they tell you. You must do what you love. In other words, you must follow your purpose and passion.

Otherwise, the desire to do so won’t have an outlet and will only grow. Also, the bullying you suffer will have more of a chance of getting under our skin.

You will only continue to squelch those desires, only for them to resurface. Or worse, you’ll end up living with regret.

Therefore, you must realize that people who are determined to stay in their comfort zones also want you to stay in yours.

Comfort Zones Only Keep You Stuck

Again realize that empowerment comes with personal responsibility. It comes with a ton of mind work and much re-framing. And when bullies are attacking you left and right, it can be extremely difficult to re-frame those attacks and keep that victim mentality from getting a grip on you.

However, if you want to keep your power and move toward a better life, you must refuse to call yourself a victim. Instead, call yourself a target. Because you are a target. But you don’t have to be a victim.

Also, double down in your efforts to reach your goals and dreams.

Empowerment:

The More Bullies Tighten Their Fists, The More Like Water You Become

In other words, you only run through their fingers and out of their hands. You have more power than you know. Your bullies cannot hold you. Why?

Because you only continue to flow over and around them. Understand that sometimes, in their efforts to tighten their grip, bullies only make you defiant or sneaky. As a result, you will find your way around them.

You must refuse to be controlled.

In other words, when your bullies try to silence you and prevent you from speaking against the abuse, you can find another way to communicate. You can choose to write about it instead.

And you do this by keeping a backup journal at home in case bullies steal your primary journal. Also, you can speak out through music and song or through artwork, such as drawings and paintings.

There are so many vehicles through which you can speak out.

Take advantage of the fact that your bullies are flawed humans just like you are. Also realize that they can never read you mind nor control your thoughts.

Other ways to get around your bullies

  • When your bullies trash your reputation at school, make friends outside that toxic school. Befriend kids who don’t attend your school.
  • If bullies have destroyed your chances of getting a date at school, date people from different schools and communities. If you’re eighteen and a senior in high school, date people who are in college.
  • If you’re old enough to have a driver’s license or work after school,  opportunities for an after school job in your community may be nil. However your attempts to get one in the next town will more than likely be successful and you can make many friends there.

Empowerment:

Speaking from my own experience

Here’s the miracle that happened twenty years later when I endured horrible rashes of cyber-bullying. Moreover, some of the attackers online were former schoolmates.

I handled the cyber-bullying with smarts and class. As a result, I ended up making many allies who came to my defense. Moreover, these were people from all over the country! And I’m still friends with them people today.

Yes, sometimes, things may look hopeless. However, they can turn out for the best.

Therefore, if you think hard, there’s always a way around the stigma if you’re bullied. So, do what you must do for self-preservation.

Dig those heels in, double down, and become like water that only runs through your bullies’ hands. Also, don’t give up! There’s always hope!

You must find ways to empower yourself. Also, realize that once you begin working on self-empowerment, the bullying may get worse before it gets better. But don’t stop working at it. Don’t give up or give in. The empowerment process is long but totally worth it in the end!

This post was all about empowerment, what comes with it, and the baby steps you must take to empower yourself from bullying.

1. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

6. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

you aint shit song

“You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

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“You ain’t shit” seems to be the most common go-to attack for bullies. ‘Want to know why they tell you this? Here are the most common motives behind the statement and how you should re-frame it to buffer your self-esteem.

"you ain't shit!"

Any time you show some confidence, it will make your bullies feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it will threaten their power over you. Moreover, if you score a win or accomplish an achievement, your bullies won’t like it. Therefore, your bullies will say something to cut you down to size.

Their favorite go to attack is to tell you that “you ain’t shit.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly why your bullies use this phrase. You’ll also learn how to use context to buffer your self-esteem against it and how to counter it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will better be able to brush it off when bullies use this statement.

This post is all about why bullies like to tell you that “you ain’t shit,” so that you can re-frame it and use it to raise your confidence.

“You Ain’t Shit!”

Introducing Rev. Aldtric Johnson

This post was inspired by Minister Aldtric Johnson of the “Be Blesstified” blog. He is a talented blogger and this is a must read for anyone who is a target of bullying.

Not only is his post packed with truths that we don’t often think about, but it’s also loaded with good humor! I can tell you that not only did I learn a few things, but I was in stitches as I read it! So please take the time to read the post below, you’ll be so glad you did!

In the words of Pastor Aldtric Johnson:
“This is a much too common insult in our culture, and yes, the bad grammar is always intentional…

“You ain’t worth s**t! Of course, implying that someone doesn’t have the value of feces, crap, refuse, doo-doo, dung, ‘ish’. It can be very hurtful if you allow it, especially if you are insecure or struggle with self-esteem. Or, if it’s told to a child by a parent, authority figure or peer.

It’s damage can last well into adulthood. So, let me give you a little ammunition with biblical support in case someone ever tells you, “You ain’t worth shiggity!”

Even Sh*t has value.

God created everything with value. Everything! Even doo-doo! We all know that there’s an industry built around the use of animal dung to make mulch and fertilizer.

Why? Because God put purpose and power, even in poop. Not only does it have value, but great value. People pay good money for a sack of s**t at Home Depot and Lowe’s.

God, in His wisdom gave waste the power to make things grow…so even waste doesn’t have to be wasted.

But, let’s look at the bible. There, we find the ‘S’-word was used for two ‘F’-words…both FERTILIZER and FUEL. Not only did they use it to grow their food, but they used it as fuel/coal to heat their food too.

When Bullies Tell You, “You ain’t Shit,” Look up these Bible verses on the value of crap:

Luke 13:7-8 (NKJV)
7 Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it.

Ezekiel 4:15 (NKJV)
15 Then He said to me, “See, I am giving you cow dung instead of human waste, and you shall prepare your bread over it.”

So, don’t get it twisted. God has value for dung. He has a purpose for poo, and He has a purpose for you.

Feces is used to diagnose illnesses, research for cures for disease, and do scientific research. There’s value in doo doo!

So, if anybody ever tells you that “You aren’t worth s**t,” tell them thank you! Tell them of it’s value. And then, remind them that if they ‘ain’t’ working God’s purpose for their life, tell them “S**t is worth more than you!”

Aldtric Johnson’s Blog – Be Blesstified

Now, here’s my take on it.

So, Why do Bullies Make the “You Ain’t Shit” Statement?

As mentioned earlier, bullies use this statement to cut you down to size. And they do it anytime you win at something and others either announce it or tell them. Also, they may tell you this anytime you show pride in yourself. Also, they do it anytime they overhear you sharing your successes with others.

So, why do bullies spew this ratchet statement?

1. They’re threatened By Your Confidence

Realize that your confidence will always threaten your bullies. Moreover, your bullies will only see your confidence as arrogance. And they will call you arrogant for the sole purpose of shaming you for it to get you to tone it down.

Moreover, they may even call you this to tear down your confidence and demoralize you. Realize that confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. And this is why bullies want to destroy it.

2. To Erode Your Self-Esteem

If  you have healthy self-esteem, your bullies won’t be able to tear you down as easily. Therefore, they throw subtle digs and zingers to chip away at your self-esteem.

Look at self-esteem as an invisible fortress. In order for an enemy to invade and take over, they must destroy the fortress first. It’s the same with bullies. They must destroy your self-esteem before they can invade you and take over your life.

Therefore, they begin by subtle verbal taunts to soften you up.

3. Why Bullies tell you, “You Ain’t Shit”

To Assert Superiority over you

To assert domination over you, your bullies must first cut you down to size. Bullies want to be superior to you. Therefore, they will make this statement to feel more powerful and to make you feel powerless.

4. To Humiliate you in front of others

Have you noticed that bullies will usually tell you this in front of an audience? Understand that they do this to humiliate you and to entertain others at your expense.

Bullying is hurtful enough in private. However, it’s several times worse in public, when there are others around to see it.

5. To Put you in your place

When you succeed at something, bullies consider it an affront to their power over you. Moreover, your win only reminds them of all the things they failed at.

There are reasons why bullies discourage you. And they do it deliberately. Realize that your bullies are more aware of your potential than you are and they are jealous of that potential.

Moreover, these people are scared to death that you’re going to make it in life later on. Therefore, they ridicule your confidence and try their hardest to make you ashamed of it so that you’ll tone it down a little.

Bullies know that if they can convince you that having pride in your win is arrogance, they can fool you into suppressing your confidence. In that, they can steer you away from success. So, see this for what it is.

It’s a sneaky form of sabotage!

Understand that these people see you as inferior to them. Therefore, any accomplishments you make will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos.

Understand that these people aren’t happy. Why do you think they go out of their way to bring you down, rain on your parade, trash your dreams?

Think about it. How many happy people do you see sitting or standing around putting others down? Therefore, realize that when they tell you, “you ain’t shit,” they just might be projecting their own feelings of inadequacy onto you.

And they tell you these things because they want you to believe it! Moreover, they want you to live up to it!

Realize that this phrase usually comes from jealousy.

So, how do you counter your bullies when they tell you, “you ain’t shit?”

Simple, you let it go in one ear and out the other. Or, you can do as Rev. Aldtric Johnson suggested, you can tell them, “thank you.”

Also, look at the context of it. Did you win at something? For example, did you finally accomplish a goal that you’ve worked hard to attain? Did someone give you recognition for a job well done? If so, feel good about it and laugh at your bullies.

Why? Because they’re only saying these things out of jealousy and to keep from feeling inferior to you.

Are you a confident person? Maybe your bullies are jealous of your confidence.

Again, just look at them, smile, and say, “thank you.” Then watch your bullies seethe, knowing they didn’t get the reaction they wanted from you.

This post was all about why bullies tell you, “You ain’t shit,” so that you’ll know where it comes from and buffer your confidence against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

what happens when you set boundaries in a relationship

What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

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‘Want to know what happens when you set boundaries? The good and the bad? Here are several things that come about when you finally stand up for yourself. Also, you’ll feel better knowing that the good vastly outweighs the bad!

what happens when you set boundaries

Setting boundaries is always good because it promotes respect among people and makes for a polite society where peace and harmony can exist.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when you set boundaries. Moreover, you will learn the good and the bad tasting (but good for you) results.

Once you learn all about this useful and important information, you will feel more compelled to set boundaries and take back your right to live in peace.

This post is all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can gather the courage to establish your own boundaries and take back your peace.

What happens when you set boundaries?

When you establish boundaries, you build an invisible fortress around yourself that protects you from abuse.  But first, lets discuss the good results.

1. You get to know yourself better.

When you set boundaries, you become much clearer on what you will and will not tolerate. Moreover, you become more familiar with your likes and dislikes. Thus, you get to know yourself better.

2. Your self-esteem will improve drastically

Once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll feel as if you accomplished a huge feat. Because, you will have!

Anytime you set boundaries after you’ve spent so much time not having any, you discover that you’ve made a huge step in taking back your autonomy!

Therefore, your self-esteem will get a huge boost and you’ll feel so much better about yourself. The people who care for you will say, “Look at you! You did it!”

You finally got sick of other people’s bullshit and put your foot down! Moreover, you stood up for yourself and told a few creeps where they could stick it!

That would sure make me proud of myself! And it will you too!

3. Toxic people will slowly disappear from your life.

Bullies and other such losers may challenge your boundaries at first. However, if you continue to stick to your guns and hold firm, they will, over time, give up and move on to an easier target.

Therefore, you’ll take back your peace and live a much happier life!

4. What happens when you set boundaries?

Your overall mental health will improve.

This is because, in setting boundaries, you protect your overall mental health. Therefore, the more you do this, the better for your psychological well-being.

Moreover, your mind will continue to improve over time the longer you continue to keep those boundaries in place.

5. You’ll be more selective in who you allow in your life

In other words, you’ll keep the bullies and abusers out of your life and only invite people who are positive and uplifting. Even better, you’ll do this without apology nor guilt because you’ll know without a doubt that you deserve better.

Now, before we go on, I realize that, in today’s society, people preach and squawk about “inclusion.” However, when people are bullying and abusing you, inclusion shouldn’t even come into it!

And this goes no matter what race, gender, religion, or orientation you or your bully or abuser may claim.

Abuse is abuse no matter who it comes from or who it’s aimed at. Therefore, you have every right to exclude from your life anyone who treats you like a doormat. You have a duty to yourself to protect your peace at all costs!

6. You’ll have more time for your own priorities.

In other words, you’ll make time for your own needs because you won’t allow users to take up so much of your time with their problems. Therefore, you’ll have more time for self-care and to pursue your own goals, priorities, and interests.

7. What happens when you set boundaries? You’ll be more determined not to go back to BS.

Once you taste a life free of bullying and abuse, you’ll be even more determined never to go back to being a doormat. Therefore, you’ll be more compelled to keep your boundaries in place and not allow anyone to stick so much as a toe over them.

You’ve been on both sides of the fence. In other words, you know what it’s like to have people shit on you every chance they get.

On the other hand, you’ve also discovered what it’s like to be treated well. Therefore, you’ll choose the side of greener pastures and never go back to the old life.

What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally establish limits

In movies and television, victims can stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, this is not reality in most cases.

However, don’t let that stop you. Think of it like this. When you’re sick, you must take medicine. The medicine may taste downright disgusting. However, you still must take it if you want to get well and return to optimal health.

It’s the same with setting boundaries. You may endure a lot of discomfort at first. However, you’ll thank yourself later!

With that said, you must realize that bullies and abusers will not relinquish their power so easily. In other words, they will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully.

Remember that human predators have an insatiable need to wield power over others, and without that power, they feel lost.

Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. Also, since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

Make no mistake about it. Once you begin setting boundaries, they will do the following:

1. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and toxic people will gaslight you.

They’ll try to convince you that you’re in the wrong or that you’re becoming unhinged. Understand that they do this to make you doubt yourself and keep allowing them to abuse you.

They may tell you that you’re imagining things or that you’re just too sensitive.

Therefore, don’t fall for this bullshit! Don’t allow them to add their spin to make you feel like the bad guy. Know that you’re in the right and continue to stand firm.

2. They will lay guilt trips.

And they’ll do it by trying to convince you that you’re selfish or self-centered for not allowing them to mistreat you. Therefore, understand that bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

Stick to your guns, no matter what they say!

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign.

Human predators may recruit followers to spread rumors and lies about you. These people will malign you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.

Moreover, expect this to happen many times. Why? Because bullies and abusers are relentless. They don’t give up so easily.

They’re also vindictive. They will do these things out of retaliation for your having the gall to stand up to them and assert your rights.

But don’t give up! Keep your boundaries in place!

4. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and abusers will try to turn your friends against you.

Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by dividing and conquering. In other words, they try to isolate you by attacking your relationships.

Think about it. Chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to human predators.

Again, expect your bullies to do these types of things. Moreover, instead of caving in, let their antics prompt you to double down on your boundaries.

5. They will project their shortcomings onto you.

Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto you?

They will also do this for retaliation and to keep their power over you. Therefore, dig your heels even deeper and fight back twice as hard.

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours.

“Don’t look over here. Look over there!” Or, more appropriately, “Don’t look at me! Look at her!”

What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

However, be resilient and keep your boundaries in place. Because eventually, they’ll give up and move on to someone who’s easier to control.

Understand that it will get worse before it gets better. You will get a ton of push-back and resistance when you first begin setting boundaries.

However, continue to hold firm no matter how hard your predators may make life for you. And know that eventually, they’ll grow tired and move on.

This post was all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can know what to expect and continue to hold firm with toughness and grit.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

signs of low self-esteem in women

Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

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‘Want to know the signs of low self-esteem? Here are all the indicators that your self-esteem is broken and the best ways to repair it.

signs of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem makes for a miserable life. People who have it bypass opportunities that would otherwise improve their lives. Moreover, it can put a strain on relationships.

If you’re a target of bullying who’s self-esteem has been broken by bullies, this is the last thing you need. So, your first step is to know the signs of low self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post you will learn all the signs of low-self-esteem and how to recognize it in yourself and in others. Also, you’ll learn how to correct it in yourself so that you can raise your self-esteem, gather the courage to stand up to bullies, and ultimately, live a more fulfilling life.

Once you learn all this pertinent information, you will be prompted to take the necessary steps to improve your self-esteem so that you can take back control over your life.

Signs of low self-esteem

Let’s jump right into it. What are the signs of low self-esteem? And what can you do to raise it?

1. Lack of boundaries

When you have no boundaries, you let others walk all over you. You allow others to treat you like dirt. You don’t say no or stop when someone abuses you.

However, if you don’t set boundaries, you’ll only attract more bullies and predators in your life. Why? Because predatory people will see you coming a mile away!

Therefore, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You must understand that this is part of taking care of yourself.

Self-care isn’t selfish and you deserve well-treatment as much as the next person. Moreover, if people lash out at you for establishing boundaries, that’s your cue to ditch these losers and surround yourself with better people.

This will work wonders for your self-esteem

2. People-pleasing behavior

 You can’t please everyone all the time. Therefore, people-pleasing doesn’t score you any points in the end. It only leaves you depleted and exhausted.

Realize that you can’t please everyone all the time and there are time when you must make yourself a priority. So, don’t be afraid to say no when you can’t fulfill someone’s request right away.

Know that there’s nothing wrong with pursuing your own interests when you must. And if anyone has a problem with it, it’s a sign you need to get rid of them.

This is how you place value on yourself. You do it by weeding out the users and abusers who only show up when they need something and get pissed when you’re in the middle of something else and can’t help them right away.

3. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

approval-seeking behavior

What does approval-seeking behavior look like? Here are a few examples:

You change or soften your position when it looks like someone isn’t happy with where you stand. Or, you might give insincere compliments all for the sake of being liked.

Also, you may pretend to agree with someone when you really don’t. These are among the behaviors of approval-seeking and most people see right through it.

Therefore, be true to who you are. Stop pretending to be something you aren’t. People respect those who are authentic and have no time for someone who’s fake.

When you stop seeking approval, you’ll be amazed at what it does for your self-esteem!

4. Shyness/withdrawal

In other words, you avoid social situations because you’re afraid of rejection.

However, if you don’t take risks and put yourself out there, you’ll miss out on possible friendships and rewarding relationships. Here’s another thing to consider.

The best way to get rid of shyness is to take the focus off you and focus on the positives you can bring to others. This is what worked for me and it’ll work for you too.

5. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Fear of conflict

When you fear conflict, you go out of your way to avoid debates and disagreements. This is a close sister to seeking approval and people-pleasing because you pretend to agree when you really disagree.

For instance, you voice your opinion and others look like they disapprove. you notice their discomfort and suddenly change your opinion to line up with theirs.

You only do this to avoid any possible conflict you might have with them. However, if you don’t stay true to yourself, people will notice and they won’t respect you.

You must continue to be yourself even if others don’t like it. This is how you build your self-esteem.

6. Fear of failure

Fear of failure makes for an unsuccessful life. Understand that everyone fails at some point. However, those who keep trying eventually succeed. And they succeed because they keep trying no matter how many times they crash and burn.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to try. Why? Because if you don’t try, you surely won’t reach success. And think about this. You have a much higher chance of hitting your goals if you keep trying. But if you don’t try, you’ll have no chance whatsoever!

7. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Negative self-talk

Thinking things like, “I’m a loser,” or “I’ll never make it,” is negative self-talk. Therefore, if you continue with this inner dialogue, you’ll only motivate yourself to give up easily. Even worse, your self-esteem will sink even lower.

Instead, treat yourself as you would your best friend. Practice positive inner talk. This is how you turn negative thoughts to positive ones.

This may feel awkward at first because you aren’t used to thinking this way.

However, if you practice every day, it will feel less and less weird until it becomes like second nature. Try it! You’ll be surprise at how it raises your self-esteem!

8. Self-Depreciating jokes

You wouldn’t want anyone else to degrade you with jokes. So, why do it to yourself. Again, treat yourself like you would a best friend and watch your self-esteem improve dramatically!

9. Downplaying accomplishments

Any time you minimize your accomplishments and successes, it means that you don’t feel you deserve recognition and praise for them.

Therefore, be proud of your successes and don’t apologize for them. Realize that you aren’t being arrogant when you take pride in the things you’ve done.

When you allow yourself to bask in some of your accomplishments, you raise your self-esteem.

10. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Avoiding Eye Contact

Avoiding eye contact conveys fear and bullies can see this from a mile away! As a result, you become a target to those who wish to take advantage of you.

Therefore, practice good eye contact until it becomes nature. This will immensely improve your self-esteem.

11. Poor Posture

Slouching only shows the people around you that you don’t like yourself very much. And, trust me, they will treat you accordingly.

Therefore, learn to stand up straight with your head up and shoulders back. This is called confident body language and it’ll boost your self-esteem like magic!

12. downcast eyes

Looking down is another indicator of low self-esteem. When you look down all the time, it means that you’re afraid to look others in the eye.

Therefore, you’ll draw bullies and abusers to you instead of healthy, quality people who would otherwise be good friends and associates.

Therefore, never look down. Always look straight ahead and walk with purpose. These are other ways you can display confident body language and raise self-esteem.

13. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Toxic shame

When you feel toxic shame, you feel worthless. As a result, this can cause feelings of self-loathing and it will only cause you to behave in ways that signal that.

Therefore, if you haven’t done anything to deliberately harm anyone, what are you ashamed of? Take steps to find out where the shame comes from and take steps to get rid of it.

If you’re ashamed of the way you look, change the things you can change and accept the things about yourself that you can’t. It won’t be easy.

However, if you learn to embrace your imperfections, your self-esteem will soar!

14. self-doubt

Self-doubt comes from bullying and abuse. It comes from others who teach you that you can’t make choices on your own without screwing up.

However, realize that those people probably told you these things just to keep you down and steal your power. Once you realize their true motivations, you’ll be more compelled to trust your instincts, your decisions, and yourself.

Moreover, when you begin trusting yourself fully, your self-esteem will improve tremendously!

15. Self-comparison

There are reasons why well-meaning people tell you to never compare yourself to others. It’s because it kills your self-esteem.

Realize that we’re all different and that different people are good at different things. In other words, we all have different talents and gifts.

Therefore, instead of focusing on what they can do better than you, focus on the things YOU are best at! Then practice your talents and show them off.

I guarantee you that your self-esteem will thank you for it!

16. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Trust issues

Whether your trust issues is with your partner or with people in general, it’s not a good sign. In order to have a social life, you must learn to trust other people.

In other words, you must take risks. Realize that encountering a few assholes is a part of life and you should expect it. However, don’t let them cause you to sink into paranoia.

Instead, deal with the bullies and assholes accordingly. Stand up to them and tell them to piss off. Then keep doing your thing!

This is how you keep your self-esteem from tanking.

17. Difficulty accepting compliments

Any time someone gives you a genuine compliment. Tell them thank you. Real compliments are something to be grateful for and they feel good.

However, when you have low self-esteem, you have a hard time taking compliments because you don’t think that you deserve them. Moreover, you may feel that the person paying you that compliment may have ulterior motives.

However, think about this. Most people won’t pay you a compliment unless they feel you’ve earned it. Therefore, accept it with grace, smile, and say thank you.

Then let it repair your self-esteem. I promise you. If you start being grateful for the compliments people give you, you’re likely to get more of them, which will give your self-esteem a huge boost!

This post was all about the signs of low self-esteem so that you can recognize them in yourself and make the necessary change to boost it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some