‘Want to know how to spot a bully and pick them out of a crowd? Here are all the body language cues you must be aware of.
If you want to combat bullying, you must know how to spot bullies before they spot you. This means having a spidey-sense when it comes to reading people. You must automatically pay attention to others’ non-verbal communication and their silences.
Therefore, in this post you will learn how to spot a bully among a huge crowd of people. You will also learn more about body language in general.
Once you learn all these non-verbal messages, you will be able to better protect yourself against bullies and bullying.
This post is all about how to spot a bully and what you can do to protect yourself from them.
How to Spot a Bully
Why You Should Learn to Read Body Language
People won’t tell you they have bad intentions. However, if you pay attention, you’ll see it in their body language.
Body language is the unspoken messages we all send everyday. You should learn these things not only to read other people but also to be aware of your own nonverbals.
For instance, noticing the clothes people wear and the arrangement of objects in their homes and work spaces can also give clues as to the kind of people you’re dealing with.
Moreover, it pays to notice patterns in their breathing and tensions they have in certain muscles (mainly the neck and jawline). You should also have the ability to read the subtext in conversations.
The feet are the parts of the body that people pay the least attention to! However, this is a mistake because the feet can tell you so much.
Participating in or listening to conversations is good practice as well. And you should also home in on what is implied rather than what is said.
All of this is non verbal communication. And let’s face it, there is no such thing as an action that doesn’t communicate something.
The ability to read nonverbal communication is increasingly becoming a lost art due to technology and the advancement of social media. And that’s a sad thing because without it, we lose the ability to live in harmony with our fellow man.
How to spot a bully: Bullies always display these types of body language, especially around their targets.
Dominance and Superiority Body Language
1. Bullies take up lots of space to appear bigger.
In other words, you will often see bullies place their hands on their hips and stand extra tall.
2. If you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will stand extra close to you.
Moreover, they’ll stand so close that they will sometimes touch you. Your bullies deliberately invade your personal space to intimidate you. Moreover, this is the way they show you who’s boss without saying a word.
Therefore, how you respond is to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell off.
If they don’t move or they move closer to challenge the boundary you just set, you may have to throw up your dukes and enforce that boundary.
3. Bullies will also frown and purse their lips at you while maintaining unblinking and unwavering eye contact. Also, they will bore their eyes into you like a dagger, without moving their heads.
Again, this is to intimidate you and let you know that they’re watching you.
And when they glare at you, they do it persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.
Know that these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!
Therefore, you respond to this by reflecting the same body language back to them. In other words, return the glare and purse your lips back at them. Let them know that they don’t scare you and that you can take care of yourself if you have to.
4. How to Spot a Bully:
Bullies will freely touch you because they have no regard for your personal space.
For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. They may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go. A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you.
Understand that your bullies do these things to show you who’s in charge. Also, they may do it to compete with you.
Moreover, they may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes! In your bullies’ minds, they own you.
Their unspoken message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”
Therefore, you must jerk away from them and tell them to never ever put their hands on you. And, if they challenge you by touching you again after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to punch their lights out.
And when you do, hit them so hard that they’ll think twice about ever messing with you again. Make the lick count!
5. If you are sitting, bullies will often stand over you to look bigger and more intimidating.
Or, if you’re standing, bullies who are short in stature will often stand on something to appear taller than you. Some may stand on their tiptoes.
Bullies will also lay claim to your territory (your desk, spaces, parking spaces, etc.) and expect others to obey rules when near the claimed area or object.
Again, they do this to intimidate and dominate.
Therefore, tell them to back the hell up!
6. How to Spot a Bully:
Other ways of Invading your space and claiming ownership
Your bullies may walk into your room, office, or home uninvited and without knocking. They may sit in your chair without asking permission.
Other invasions include leaning on your vehicle and parking in your parking space. They may cut in front of you in line, or prop their feet on the back of your chair when sitting behind them.
I had a girl do that to me in school, and if I knew what I know now, I would have jumped up and beat the living hell out of her!
Understand that bullies crave control and do these things to take away your power.
Therefore, you have every right to demand that they either know first or don’t bother coming in. If they lean on your care, desk, etc, tell them to get off the object. You must stand up to these people!
7. Bullies also put their hands on your personal belongings with a carefree attitude.
But know that the message the bully is sending you is this: “I own you, so I own anything that is yours.”
Therefore, tell them in a firm tone to keep their hands off your shit!
They may walk up to your table during lunch, pick a French fry off your plate, and pop it in their mouths. They may pick up your fork and take a bite of your food.
Moreover, your bully may also pick up your phone and began scrolling through the contents. They may even rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.
The hidden message the bully is sending is, “I can take whatever I want, and what are you going to do about it?”
Therefore, do something about it!
Get up, face the bully, and say, “Don’t you ever do that again.” If he challenges you, again, punch their lights out.
They crossed the line and you must enforce your boundaries. Why? Because they’ll keep it up if you don’t.
8. How to Spot a Bully:
Another way bullies invade territory.
They walk in the center of a hallway or sit on a flight of stairs, expecting people to move and go around them.
Bullies may also stand in the middle of a road and driveway or take their time crossing the street, forcing cars to stop and wait.
Therefore, tell them to move or to get out of the way. You could also say, “Excuse you!” This may or may not change their behavior but it will let them know that you aren’t afraid to stand up to them.
9. Bullies also show dominance by how they dress or the car they drive.
Bullies do this to impress admirers and to one-up you and other targets. Therefore, see it for what it is, a pathetic ploy to show off.
How you respond to give them a dismissive look and keep going. They aren’t worth your time.
10. Hostility Body Language
Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin.
The pinching of the jaw is used to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them. It’s their way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.
Therefore, realize that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.
Therefore, put your hands on your hips, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and give them the death glare. The point is to let them know that you aren’t the least bit intimidated.
11. How to Spot a Bully:
They pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand or another object.
Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall, or the palm of their opposite hand.
Any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for the victim’s physical body.
Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.
Also, male bullies may snarl at you, whereas female bullies will glare at you with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.
Repeat the response in number 10. Show the creep you aren’t afraid of them.
12. Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up.
They size you up by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests. The best response is to mirror the bully.
13. Bullies will stand in the center of the room.
They do this to be the “center” of attention. I call this the “look-at-me” body language. Therefore, how you respond to this is just to dismiss the body and keep walking.
How to Spot a Bully
In Conclusion:
Here’s a complete rundown of what we just covered.
If a bully violates your space or belongings, always call them out on it. Never let it happen without asserting yourself. If a bully stares you down, always return the stare. Either look them in the eye or look them between the eyes.
If they look at you while standing feet apart and arms akimbo, reflect the exact same stance back to the bully. Mirror the bully to show that you’re not the least bit intimidated by them. If the bully is rushing you, slow down. Do not speed up! Remain calm.
Also, if the bully challenges you, enforce the boundary you set. Sometimes this may mean putting up your dukes.
Here’s another thing that we didn’t mention but is important because it will help your self-esteem tremendously.
Dress your best and look your best. This shows that you take pride in how you look and conveys confidence. It also helps you to feel better. When we look better, we also feel better!
This post is all about how to spot a bully so that you can read their body language and be better prepared for anything they may try.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them
2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe
4. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies
5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
I appreciate this post on the body language. You can avoid conversing with them all together!
Thank you so much, Ruby! And you’re absolutely right. You can.
Like you, I wish I knew all of this back in the day.
I feel ya, Michael!
I know this post is regarding Body Language but I think one other aspect of it all is their Verbal Language in addition to the Body Language. They will often say belittling things and then give someone a hard slap on the back or get in their face and they may even smile and say “Just picking at you.” Okay, look siblings do it occasionally, friends give each other a little bit of needling from time to time but you know when they aren’t being serious. Bullies do it as intimidation and usually with a dark almost sadistic smile or a threatening look and then the body language. Watch the words of people too along with the body language. You can tell the ones who are really trying to intimidate you.
You’re absolutely right, Scott. However, this post is about spotting bullies before they spot you. I plan to write a post about verbal bullying in the near future. Also, I’m working on a post about subtle bullying as well. Thank you so much for your comments. Just as you learn from me, I also learn from you. It’s fun to exchange different views on bullying because I learn so much from my commenters and I appreciate it so much!