‘Want to know why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies? Here are the characteristics bullies look for in potential targets and how you can turn the tables on these predators.
If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably ask yourself a thousand times a day, “Why me?” And you’re not the only one who has asked that question.
What you may not know is that your bullies purposefully chose you to bully. Moreover, there are reasons why they selected you as their target.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn one of possible reasons why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies. Moreover, this post will teach you by listing the exact characteristics bullies look for in potential targets so that you can figure out which trait applies to you.
Once you learn all about these characteristics and why they chose you, you will be able to turn the tables on your bullies and take back your peace, your happiness, your mental health, and your life.
The Perfect Victim
Bullies never randomly choose their victims from a crowd. There are certain criteria they search for and not everyone meets that criteria. This is why it isn’t everyone who gets bullied.
Therefore, when you think of the perfect victim for bullies, what kind of person do you see? A nerdy boy with eyeglasses? A girl with a weight problem?
Granted, these could be factors. However, there are many people who wear eyeglasses and who have issues with their weight that troublemakers never target. Trust me, I’ve known several in those categories who were completely accepted regardless of those things.
Therefore, it’s not about picking those with vulnerabilities that are obvious and people can see from five miles away. Bullies often pursue those who have victim qualities that are nuanced and less obvious.
So, what is it about these victims that attracts human predators?
It’s the weaknesses in their psychological makeup. Now, this is not to say that all targets have mental illnesses. However, there are things about them that instantly attract these human predators.
Here are 9 characteristics that draw bullies like vultures to a carcass. (The traits of potential Victims)
1. Emotional Fragility
When someone is emotionally fragile, they tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. These are those who cry easily. Also, many of them are sullen and have a crappy outlook on life in general.
People who are painfully shy are also bait for bullies. Moreover, those who get angry and flip out easily may also be targeted for bullying, though not often.
The reason bullies choose these types of victims is because they know they can easily get a reaction from them. Remember that bullies love the reaction they get because not only do they get their kicks out of it, but they can also weaponize the victim’s reaction and use it against them.
What do I mean?
Let’s say that harassers pick on a victim who easily loses their temper and the target flips out on them. The bullies can then use the person’s reaction to reverse the roles of victim and offender.
Therefore, it’s the target who gets the blame and thus, labeled the troublemaker and the bullies get off Scot free, even though they are the ones who are the provocateurs.
2. The Perfect Victim:
Sensitivity
Sensitive people also fall into the emotionally fragile category. For example, you can so much as look at them the wrong way and they’ll dissolve into a puddle of tears.
Therefore, bullies will target this person. Why? Because they know the person will break down crying and give them the reaction they’re looking for.
And once the victim starts crying, the bullies not only make fun of the person and call them a crybaby, but they can also use the tears against the target.
How? You may wonder.
They can accuse the target of being “too sensitive,” or a “crybaby” who just needs to lighten up. Therefore, other people will more than likely agree and stop taking the victim seriously. Because, after all, the target just needs to grow up and stop being such a wienie. Right?
3. Weak Personalities
When I say, weak personalities, I’m talking about people who are afraid to be themselves. Also, you have those who constantly seek attention and approval.
Granted, bullies do these things as well, only they’re better at hiding it.
However, when you’re afraid to be yourself and it’s obvious, you will also attract bullies. Realize that this doesn’t make you a bad person. You may come from a home where you aren’t allowed to just be your own person, therefore, you put on a front out of survival.
Therefore, I’m not judging you nor accusing you. What I am saying is that bullies can sniff that out and they will take full advantage if you’re not careful.
Remember that a pack of wolves always target the injured elk in the herd. It’s the same with bullies. They always go after those who are already injured in some way.
Maybe the potential victim has low self-esteem. Or they could suffer from nervousness brought about by a past traumatic event.
Again, bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. They’re opportunistic creatures!
4. The Perfect Victim:
Fear and Anxiety
Bullies will select those who are fearful and anxious. These people make good victims because bullies can leverage their fear and anxiety to get what they want. Also, a person who is nervous and fearful is easy to control and dominate.
Remember that bullying is about power and control. And bullies need these types of people to assert superiority over.
5. Loneliness
People who are lonely are especially vulnerable to bullies. Why? Because someone who has either very few or no friends or family is also least likely to have a support network.
In other words, there’s less chance of them having anyone to protect them or speak in their behalf.
Therefore, bullies can easily abuse this person any time they feel like it, with little chance of accountability.
A person who is always by themselves is the perfect opportunity for bullies. Why? Because people who are alone all the time are likely going to be desperate for friends and human connection
This desperation is something bullies can easily exploit for their own evil purposes. Therefore, these people are fertile soil for bullies to sow seeds of abuse and manipulation.
6. The Perfect Victim:
Disappointment
Those who are disappointed in life also make easy targets for bullies. Why? Because bullies can often make empty promises and dangle carrots of any of the things the victim desires to draw them in.
The victim’s desires could be acceptance and friendships, or it could be material things. Whatever the void, the bullies are more than happy to fill it, and for nothing more than to sucker the potential victim into their web.
7. People-Pleasing Behavior
Loneliness, disappointment, and people-pleasing behavior often intersect with each other. Therefore, people-pleasing behavior is a dead-ringer for bullies to exploit.
There are many reasons someone may feel the need to people-please. They may do it for acceptance and approval. Also, the person may do out of a survival mechanism to keep someone from harming them.
Nevertheless, bullies will quickly take notice. Then, they will dangle carrots of friendship and safety to draw the potential victim in, only to exploit them later.
8. The Perfect Victim:
Co-Dependency
All of the above mentioned psychological holes are related and can go hand in hand. Co-dependency is another weakness bullies look for in potential targets.
People may become co-dependent out of loneliness and the craving for approval. Moreover, they may people-please to get the friendship, romance, and approval they desperately seek. Also, these people may have fear and anxiety at the prospect of being alone.
Now, do you see how this works and how many traits on the list intersect with each other?
Therefore, bullies may notice these things and search for ways to suck the person in and exploit these weaknesses.
Therefore, if you have any number of these weaknesses on the list, bullies will be watching and waiting. In fact, they will see you coming a mile away.
Why? Because bullies have a flair for sniffing out anything that plagues the psyche, from loneliness, to low self-esteem, to fear and sensitivity. Bullies have a radar for any kind of insecurity and they will exploit it for their own personal gain or simply to hurt you.
Therefore, take all of this as a warning!
9. Exceptionalism
Exceptionalism is a little different. Yes, you can be an exceptional person and still have some of the above insecurities. However, bullies will also target confident people who are exceptional.
The person may make straight A’s in school or be a music prodigy. They may perform well on the job and get lots of praise and recognition from supervisors and coworkers.
Also, they target those who are goal oriented, highly intelligent, and take responsibility for their lives. Empaths are candidates for hate from bullies as well.
Creative and imaginative people are those bullies love to tear down. Understand that bullies fear their potential and they will try like the devil to kill that good seed before it has time to grow.
But why?
Here’s your answer in one word. Jealousy!
Realize that bullies want to be the top dogs. They do not like to be out-shined. In fact, they despise competition! And anytime you’re exceptionally talented, you steal the spotlight away from the bullies.
Therefore, expect them to victimize you without fail. Because they will just to poke holes in your confidence and self-esteem.
The Perfect Victim
In Conclusion:
If you fall into either one of these categories, let me ensure you that there are ways you can protect not only your body but your mind against the onslaught of bullies.
Therefore, your first line of defense is always, ALWAYS, self-acceptance. And when I say self-acceptance, I mean complete self-acceptance.
You must accept yourself, flaws and all. Moreover, you must be okay with who you are and love every thing that makes you you.
Why? Because when you’re happy with who you are, bullying attacks won’t have near the effect on you that it does if your self-esteem is broken.
In other words, your self-love and self-acceptance will act as your body armor and shield, preventing the psychological attacks of bullies from penetrating.
Therefore, accept yourself. Love yourself and all your imperfections. For we all have them. Even your bullies have flaws.
This post is all about the perfect victim and the characteristics in them that bullies look for and exploit so that you can pinpoint which one you have and take steps to turn the tables.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying
2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.
3. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target
4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
All of these to resonate with me, although for years, I thought I just had one of those faces which said, “victim.”
Sadly, once you’re bullied, you tend to put off “that bullied vibe.” And you’ll attract bullies and abusers like a moth to a flame. Confidence is the only way to combat this.