Isn’t it funny that when a target does something right- when they succeed, especially if they receive recognition and praise for a job well done, an award hard won, or a good deed well accomplished, the bullies protest the loudest? They work feverishly to trivialize and minimize any positive quality and maximize any negative. Bullies will also be quick to bring up any mistake or wrongdoing in the target’s past to overshadow the positive quality or accomplishment.
I’ve had firsthand experience with this because my classmates did the same to me, as did coworkers at a workplace years later. Understand that, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies see you as the bad guy and they want everyone else to see you the same way. They can’t stand even the thought of you reaching success, much less getting recognized for it.
Therefore, anytime you score a win, expect your bullies to do everything in their power to downplay it by minimizing it. Or, they may remind you and others of a past mistake or sin you might have committed, even if it was done decades ago when you were a dumb kid.
They may also make all kinds of wild accusations concerning your win. Here are a few cruel remarks bullies will make:
1. You cheated. Your bullies will refuse to believe that you won that coveted award through hard work and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to convince you and everyone else of it too. But don’t fall for it! And don’t fret if others choose to foolishly believe the bullies. Instead, see it for what it is and what it’s meant to do.
Know that this is designed to dull your shine and cast doubts in the minds of others. Your bullies mean to make other people assume that your success or accolade is illegitimate and that you didn’t come by it fairly. It’s also designed to discredit you and cause others to resent you.
2. It was just dumb luck. When you make a good grade at school, your school bullies and other classmates may verbally pass it off as your being lucky. Realize that when they say these things, they mean to discredit your abilities and cheapen your success in the eyes of those around you. The underlying message is that you couldn’t have made it if you tried and that your accomplishment was some freak accident.
3. You kiss arse. Ah, yes! Your bullies will say that you sucked up and won favor with the right people. They will accuse you of scoring “brownie points.” They will whine, saying that the person whose ass you kissed gave you a boost and that you got an unfair advantage. Again, this is designed to discredit you and undermine your abilities and intelligence. It’s also meant to instill intense anger and resentment of you in others.
4. You slept your way to success. If you’re a woman who’s a target of workplace bullying and you happen to get that coveted promotion that you and several competitors have been vying for, be prepared to get accused of “f***ing the boss man.” Bullies don’t censor their words and that’s exactly what they’ll say.
Also, if your workplace bullies are trying to get you fired and your boss happens to know better and goes to bat for you, they will also accuse you of giving sexual favors. And sadly, this is the most common accusation if you are female.
Just like all the rest, this remark is made to undermine your abilities and smarts, discredit you, cheapen your accomplishments in the eyes of others, and cause anger, hatred, and resentment toward you. It’s also meant to degrade you as a lady and instill in others the belief that you’re nothing but an opportunistic slut who will spread her legs to get ahead in life. This happened to me when I worked at a nursing home years ago, and, let me tell you. It wasn’t fun!
But don’t fret over any of this! I want you to see it for what it is- jealousy, poor sportsmanship, and trash-talk! You must see it for what it is and what it means. And what it is and what it means is that your bullies are a bunch of crybabies, whining and foaming at the mouth because they didn’t get that cookie and you did!
It means that they feel inferior and that they no longer have the attention they crave. It means that they feel cheated and indignant, and it shows that they’re the real losers!
But wait! Here’s something else that neither bullies or targets think about: If you’re a target or survivor of bullying, you’re going to loooove this little gem of truth!
Anytime your bullies make any of the above accusations, what it is, is a confession on their part. In other words, your bullies are projecting- they’re accusing you of the very things they either would do or are doing themselves!
Think about it. How many husbands have falsely accused their innocent wives of cheating, only to end up being caught cheating themselves?
It’s the same when bullies falsely accuse their targets of wrongdoing. Anytime bullies are so quick to point fingers at the target for an alleged transgression, it’s a good indicator that they’re committing the same sins themselves and are only trying to cover their behinds. Always remember that!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
I experienced all of those. One memory was when I went to the camp which was the inspiration in “He Was Weird,” I was voted ‘camper of the week.’ Although, he wasn’t a bully, one kid did accuse me of bribing everyone with sodas in order to get them to vote for me. BTW, wives can use the same tactic on husbands.
That doesn’t surprise me, Michael. There’s always a jealous person in the bunch though he may not necessarily be a bully. And you’re right in your last line. Wives have done the same.💯
At some point in our lives, each of us will be exposed to our own mirror in front, and from it will reflect towards us multiplied, everything we have done to our fellow human beings (right or wrong) in plain sight or in secret…
“Now we see as in a mirror, in a dark way; but then we will see face to face. Now, I know in part; but then will I know fully, as I have also been fully known.”
So true… bullies are cruel, bullies are mean. It is awesome that you are bringing awareness as to how a bully acts and shames it’s prey.
Thank you for a great read! 😊
You’re most welcome, Simone! 💖 And thank you for your kind words!
Is it my imagination or are those all the things that bullies do in order to ‘stay in charge/on top”?
#1 – election fraud pops to mind and I’ve sure heard a lot about Kamala and #4!
That’s exactly why they do it, Jeanne! To stay in charge and on top! You nailed it! 💯💯💯
Absolute truth these are something one really faces, bullies really torments a person so badly that sometimes one finds hard to find our self confidence shaken. They are the people who finds it good while leading others down.
You’re spot on with everything you said here! 💯🎯👍
Yes real experiences could give us an insight. 🙏🙏💐
Cherie, isn’t it interesting how bullies throw their bile at their targets with the same ole B.S. just warmed up differently on their hotplate of envy and jealousy on a different day? Yup! Pretty predictable! Another good read my dear friend! Enjoy a bully-free day! 🤩✨😉🦋😎💖🥰🌺🤗
You got that right, girl! 💯🎯👍Bullies throw their bile because they’re poor miserable souls. And if they see someone winning and happy, you can bet your hind end that they’ll do their best to whizz all over it! They’re not happy and they don’t want their targets or anyone else happy either. The poor things!
Guurrrrrlllll, AMEN to that! 👏🏼🤗🦋😘🌺🥰🥂
💖🌺🌞🌷🦋🎉💃
A couple of these sound really familiar. At one office they said I was put into the ‘sale que’ so I had an unfair advantage even though I took way more customer service calls than sales calls. At another office they had no way to accuse me of cheating so they attacked my empathy saying I only viewed people as wallets. lol it was crazy in both cases.
Yep! I’m not surprised, Sara! That’s exactly what bullies do when they see you shine, sweetie! You won and your win forced them to take a look at their own lazy selves. I hope you were smiling inside when they were screwing such garbage. Because they were proverbially showing their butts!
Thank you for this insightful information. We indesrmsd more about bullies than ever. I don’t think I’ll ever be bullied and not be aware
You’re most welcome, Lebogang! I’m so glad you’re learning and gaining your confidence to stand up to bullies in the future! I’m so proud of you! 😊💖🌺🌷
Great post. Even people who are not classic bullies but infected with envy can stoop to minimizing the success of others.
You got that right, Geoff! I know a few of those kinds of people too- not necessarily bullies, just so insecure that they have to rain on other’s parades!
You hit the nail on the head with this post.
Thank you so much, Molly! 💖🌺🌷🌞 Bullies are so doggone predictable aren’t they! No matter who the bully is, where they are, or what time period they lived in they all have and still use the same tactics. Bully tactics are both universal and timeless.
I find bullies often repeat the same insults to every person they target, going from person to person to see who will give them attention. Even folks who do not win awards. They target folx who create, those who think differently than them, anyone who challenges the status quo. My thought is they wish they were the ones coming up with new ideas, they wish they were first, everything is a competition to them. Keep on creating, it might take decades to find your audience, do it anyway.
You’re so right! 💯 That’s exactly what they do, Jen! Repeating the same insults to different people. You’d think people would get bored with their redundant gibberish!