If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit. Believe me, I understand and if this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.
It’s not that you want to fight. In fact, you hate fighting- intensely. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?
Like most targets, I too hated to fight but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life. Not only the girls would try to jump me, but the guys would too and most of those redneck brutes had no qualms nor reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little. Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened with a knife or a box-cutter and it’s amazing I got out of there alive.
But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them paranoid, makes them desperate, puts them in survival mode! In other (and more scientific) words, it awakens their primal instincts. It rewires their brains in preparation for a hostile environment.
A target of bullying must live in constant vigil and adrenaline. They must always be on alert- they must grow eyes in the back of their heads and be prepared for danger every time they turn a corner. That gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long.
I cannot count the times in school I showed my booty to people after having taken all I could take. And there were times I didn’t just let off a little stream, I blew a gasket!
The longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage. It all piles up. We are all human and no one can hold that crap inside forever it doesn’t matter how resilient they are. It’s humanly impossible.
You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews.
Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last (and unfortunate) creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, others, you piss off even more and make twice as determined to get you, and few see your tirade as personal entertainment.
I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.
There were times I’d yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. I would tell people to get the eff away from me and not to come back around. I admit it. I showed the worst sides of myself on a few occasions.
I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.
Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with a fist, a second time with my purse, then a textbook. The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.
Once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off. No decent person wants to lose their cool and act a fool, but when you been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.
Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.
Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Some of the tiredness bled over into my home life. Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.
You can’t pour from an empty cup and as a result, you just don’t give a crap- about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.
I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.
Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.
I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.
So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.
If this has been your experience, feel free to comment.
0 thoughts on ““My Give-A-Dam is Busted!””
This is a completely relatable post Cherie. It was really terrible, the way people treated you at school. And I must admit, you gave them quite some shocks many a times. That’s what I used to do and I still have to try v hard to control the temptation of being violent. It only provokes the bullies further. Great post.
Thank you so much, Aahna! This means a lot! 💖 You’re a very strong lady and I admire you! 😊
Aww… Thank you for such kind words 💖
You’re most welcome! 💖
That is so hard! What an impossible cycle! 💗💗💗
It’s very hard, Shauna. 💯 Thank you so much! 💖 This means a lot!
I’d like to think I bullied bully’s. Whatever sense that makes but it’s true. If I witnessed bullying I would step in and stop it. Of course I did not keep up with it so I don’t know if things continued but I for one would not allow that type of behavior to go on around me. I stood up for the quiet type. Those who seemed to have no voice for themselves. I went to a fairly small school but bullying still occurred. That was so long ago now I can hardly recall the incidents where I stood up for someone but there were a few.
I’m very proud of you for standing up for the bullied kids who had their voices silenced. We need more upstanders like you! You just may have made a difference in their lives! 💖🌺🌷
“My Give-A-Dam is Busted!”
Great Post Cherie
Thank you so much, Lance! I always look forward to seeing you on WordPress! 😊
Once again, you have similar experiences to me. When I did snap and fight back, I was made out to be a maniac and a trouble starter when the fact was I was simply retaliating against the abuse. Great post Cherie.
Thank you so much, Michael! And unfortunately, this happens to most targets. 💔
Cherie, I have had one of those moments where the damn breaks. I was in either 7 or 8th grade. This one guy had bullied me constantly. One day on the way home he started again. All I remember is being pulled off him by my best friend. I was told I bloodied him across his face.
He never tried anything again.
I think about it now, and sometimes I feel so bad about it. You are correct, I detest violence!
You were pushed too far, Dwain. A person can only take so much until they can’t. That bully deserved what he got. But I’m proud ofbyou for the man you became. God bless you! 🙌 🤗
Thank you Cherie, it means a lot to me!
You’re most welcome, Dwain! 😊