When a person is a target of bullies, it’s too easy for that person to stop caring- about everything, including his appearance.
The reason for this is that when someone gets bullied for so long- once enough people have told them so many times over that they are nothing, that they aren’t good enough, that they have no value as a human being, and that they’re a waste of time, space and breathable air, they begin to believe it subconsciously.
They won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late, and the contrary belief of themselves has already taken a foothold on their psyche. And when they believe something of themselves, whether it be a complete lie or truth, they will unwittingly live up to it.
Understand that this change in a target happens ever so slowly. And before the person realizes it, they begin to neglect themselves. They neglect their appearance, their housework, even their health!
1. Targets will often isolate themselves and become shut-ins.
2. They fail to make themselves presentable.
3. They stop exercising and forego physical check-ups.
4. They withdraw from people and social gatherings.
5. They don’t get adequate sleep and nutrition.
6. Some overeat for comfort and gain weight.
7. Some stop eating and lose too much weight.
8. Some even begin using alcohol and drugs.
In short, they let themselves go!
These are the reasons why, if you’re a target of bullying, it’s even more important that you take care of yourself.
Bullying and life – pictured as a word Bullying and a wreck ball to symbolize that Bullying can have bad effect and can destroy life, 3d illustration
When I was a target of bullying, I stopped believing in myself too, for a while, only I didn’t neglect my appearance. Instead, I got mad. Damn mad! And in my anger, I grew more determined to take care of myself. The more I was bullied, the better (and more flashy) I dressed. I also exercised to keep myself fit.
It was my way of thumbing my nose at the bullies- a poke in the eye to them, or a proverbial middle finger.
I became as a peacock fanning out her tail to show her beautiful colors. It was also a means for me to maintain what control I did have, which was control over my body and appearance. Also, I wanted to keep my self-esteem from completely bottoming out.
It was only one of the ways I fought like hell to hang on to my dignity and to maintain what I could of myself. And today, I believe it saved me in so many ways.
I may not have had control over how others viewed me. No one has that kind of control.
I may not have had control over how others treated me.
I may not have had control over my reputation.
And I may not have had control over my physical well being as I got the snot beat out of me a few times.
But, what I did have was control over my hygiene and how I looked!
That was the one thing those creeps couldn’t have control of!
However, I knew so many other bullied people who give up on themselves, and it breaks my heart for them!
So, please! Please, don’t give up. Hang on to what power you do have with everything in you! You’ll thank yourself for it later. I promise!
Good one. Never give up . I ve seen bullies taste a dose of their own medicine . These creeps have an inferiority complex issue. Let them pay for that in the hard way.
Thank you so much, Saji. And yes, I too have seen karma deal with many a bully. 😊
Plus a lot of high school bullies reach their peak during their teen years but that’s it for them where the bullied finds themselves and becomes successful as an adult and has the last laugh. Cherie is a perfect example of that, look at how many of us admire her.
Thank you so much! And this is so true. I actually did a post on this very thing a while back. 🙂
That’s a good point too. Take pride in yourself and it will make you feel better. Plus it exudes self-confidence to others (even if you really don’t feel that way inside) Also, we have to remember not every person is a bully. Looking your best may actually attract someone. I think about the movie, Pretty In Pink. There were a lot of bullies toward the Molly Ringwald character and Duckie but friends too and one of the “cool” kids actually realized he was attracted to Molly Ringwald even though she wasn’t labeled “cool.”
That’s right.
Girl Cherie, this is spot on! No matter what, do not allow the craziness to cause you to respond the way bullies want you to respond. Your appearance makes a huge difference in your attitude and confidence. Bullies try to deactivate any sense of pride or courage from you. When you start by paying attention to your appearance, you can’t imagine the impact that has on your outlook, on your day and your life! Superb my dear! 👏🏼🙏🏼🤗
Much appreciated, Kym! 🌹❤
My pleasure my friend! 💝💐💖
I was bullied on account of my appearance. Since it was the 70s, I got a lot of stick because my flares didn’t cover my shoe laces. When I did wear pants which met the imagined criteria, bullies would change the rules so they could bully me more. I was also told the reason I was bullied was because I wore ‘babyish’ things. In 6th grade I wore a baseball jacket. When I got out of the service, people tried to give me grief on account of my long hair and Native American moccasin boots. Their barbs didn’t effect me but I was frustrated by people’s ignorance.
I can certainly understand why you were frustrated, Michael. Ignorant people can be a huge annoyance. 🙄
80smetalman, let me throw in too, even your user name brings up a good point. Music preference was a big deal back in the day. At my school, if you were a white kid listening to rap music you often were ridiculed. And as someone who loved(loves) 80’s hard rock and metal many people labeled metal heads as people into drugs, devil worshippers, punks, whores, dropouts. And none of that was true! Most of us grew up to be Christian, intelligent, hard working people that became lawyers, doctors, nurses, teachers, etc
Absolutely. I became a metalhead myself when I was a teen and was often labelled by teachers as a druggie, a devil worshipper, punk, whore, rebellious, and other such nonsense. And…a friend of mine has always loved heavy metal and he’s a college professor and a born-again Christian now. Your comment is ON POINT! Thank you so much!
People were pretty ignorant to judge us back then. LOL