‘What is resilience? Here’s what it is and how it helps you overcome bullying.
Resilience is essential for overcoming bullying. In fact, it’s how you defeat any adversity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can overcome anything that tries to bring you down.
Once you learn these critical life lessons, you will be able to overcome any challenges you face.
This post is about resilience, to assure you that you still have some control over your circumstances.
What is Resilience?
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity quickly. You may bend, but you don’t break. So, how do you stay resilient?
Here are all the ways to do it.
1. By Knowing Yourself
When you know yourself inside and out, you know, without a doubt, the definition of who you are. In other words, you won’t allow bullies and abusers to define you.
Instead, you only accept your own definition of yourself. And you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you can recognize abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it. Moreover, your self-esteem won’t take such a massive hit.
Knowing yourself is freedom!
2. Know what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate.
Refuse to accept what you won’t tolerate. Focus on your wants and needs and work hard to achieve them. This means working on yourself. Moreover, it means working toward your goals and your aspirations.
This is of the utmost importance. Why? Because when you’re too busy working on yourself, you won’t pay attention to your bullies. You’ll care less about anyone’s opinions other than your own.
3. Resilience:
trust yourself to make the right decisions.
Here’s a little nugget you should know: your first instinct is usually the correct one.
For instance, any time you have bullies shaming and ridiculing you, your first instinct is to get away from them. However, when they see you’re leaving, they may mock you.
They may say, “Are you scared? Is that why you’re leaving? Don’t be a wuss. Stand up and face us.” They may even tell you, “You’d better run!”
You’re not afraid to put your hand up and walk away when toxic people accost you. Why? Because you don’t have time for foolishness and drama.
Sure. The taunts might sting a little, but they won’t crush your spirit.
4. Practice speaking out and showing your emotions.
Resilience means that you won’t feel the need to hold back emotions. You’ll be able to recognize them better and allow yourself to feel them. In some situations, it may be okay to express them.
Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Never allow bullies to shame you into suppressing yourself.
You wouldn’t want to break down crying in front of everyone at school because a bully called you a name. Instead, you’d show annoyance and tell the bully to get stuffed.
Also, you wouldn’t cry publicly at work because the boss chewed you out or your project fell flat. You’d just stick out your chest and try to do better the next time.
However, you would cry at the funeral of a loved one. In fact, during those times, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry.
5. Resilience:
be yourself.
Know that you don’t have to put on a big front and try to act like someone you’re not. There’s no need to try to fit in with anyone. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.
When you’re willing to be yourself, you know your worth. You accept that you are valuable, regardless of what people say or where you are in life.
Those who aren’t authentic will follow the crowd and try to fit in. People who are insecure about themselves will accept others’ definitions of them without realizing it.
They build fake identities based on others’ expectations and ideas of who they should be. But not you. You are true to who you are.
You would rather be original because you understand that originals are like famous paintings and artwork. They’re much more valuable than copies. Therefore, you refuse to be a cheap knock-off!
6. Refuse to blame yourself for others’ behavior.
Realize that other people’s behavior is no reflection on you. It only speaks volumes about their own lack of morals, decency, and character.
Know that what your bullies do to you is wrong. Now, this inner realization may or may not stop them from attacking you. In fact, it may make the abuse worse.
However, instead of hating and blaming yourself, know in your heart that they are the bad ones. Realize that they’re only projecting their own shortcomings onto you. A bully’s accusation is usually a confession.
7. Resilience:
trust your gut.
Listen to what your gut tells you. Pay close attention to the vibes you’re getting from the people around you. The energy people put out never lies.
This is how you maintain your inner strength and sense of self. It takes listening to your instincts when they signal that you should be cautious around certain people.
And don’t be ashamed of it. Instead, pay close attention to how your body reacts when you’re around certain people. You may not be able to pinpoint it. And you may not know why you’re having these yucky bodily sensations.
However, you must still pay attention to what you’re feeling.
- Does your body automatically tense up?
- Do you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach?
- Does something feel off about the person or people you’re with?
If so, know that any one of these symptoms is your cue to get away from these people… and fast!
8. Resilience:
Be Confident.
When you’re being bullied by everyone, holding onto your confidence can be challenging. And that’s putting it mildly. Moreover, after being bullied, it can sometimes take years to regain the confidence you lost.
However, there are steps you can take to buffer your confidence and mitigate the impact of their attacks. Here’s a shortlist of ways to build your confidence.
- Watch and listen.
- Know that you aren’t the only one these creeps have bullied.
- Befriend others your bullies have bullied.
- Collect info on your bullies.
- Keep company only with those who love you and want the best for you.
- Show off your talents and gifts.
- Do the things you enjoy.
- Be there for others who are suffering.
- Look your best.
- Make positive affirmations.
- Find someone to talk to about what you’re going through.
- Never internalize any labels others stick to you.
- Stop caring about others’ opinions.
- Don’t be silent. Speak out!
If your confidence wanes, so does your performance, social abilities, and everything else! Therefore, guard it with your life. Why? Because your life truly does depend on it!
9. If you have a negative mindset, work to change it.
If people bully you at school or at work, you’re more likely to feel insecure. Moreover, you’ll have a horribly negative outlook. Therefore, it will require significant reprogramming to change.
Also, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is easy to change certain things about yourself. However, changing ingrained thought patterns is one of the most challenging tasks. And it won’t happen overnight.
Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.
However, once you start, you will gradually notice a positive difference in your outlook. Additionally, your circumstances will improve.
10. Resilience:
Turn Every negative thought into a positive thought.
For instance, you have a test or an interview coming up, and you ask yourself, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t make it?”
Immediately catch yourself. Then, turn that thought into a positive one by asking yourself, “What if I pass?” “What if I succeed?” or “What if I do make it?”
Or, if you find yourself thinking, “What if things go wrong?” Immediately turn it around and ask, “What if things go right?”
Also, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re a loser. Tell yourself, “No. I’m a winner.”
And talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Instead of putting yourself down, begin building yourself up. Encourage yourself to keep going when things get tough. Give yourself the love you would give to your family and best friends.
Continue doing this until thinking positively becomes like second nature!
11. Maximize your chance-opportunities.
If you’re talented in writing and you find a writing contest, enter the contest. In other words, instead of letting this opportunity pass you by because you’re too afraid that you’ll lose, face your fears and enter the contest anyway.
And you never can tell. You might win that contest! The point I’m making here is to try! Because if you don’t try, you don’t know. Put another way, if you try, you at least have a good chance of winning. However, if you don’t, there’s no chance of it.
Therefore, taking risks is crucial to achieving positive change in your life.
12. Resilience:
Get out of your comfort zone.
This brings us back to what we mentioned in the last section, taking risks. Resilient people take risks. And because they take risks, they score many successes.
This isn’t to say you’ll succeed every time; you won’t. Even resilient people fail sometimes. However, they don’t let failure stop them.
They do not give up. Instead, they move on to the next opportunity and keep trying until they succeed.
Remember the line in Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”
In other words, the resilient get hit all the time, but they keep going. They continue to take risks and don’t stop until they reach their target. And that’s how they win! So, don’t be afraid to take risks!
13. Set goals and work hard to achieve them.
Set goals and go after them. Work hard and don’t quit until you achieve those goals. Moreover, never let bullies and jealous people discourage you.
Why? Because if word gets out that you’re working on a goal, there will be those who will do everything possible to discourage you. And this goes especially if you suffer from bullying. Therefore, keep striving and don’t stop until you reach the finish line.
14. Resilience:
Befriend others your bullies have bullied.
You and they have something in common. Therefore, this should be a piece of cake! Align yourself with these other victims.
And be there for them when they need you. In fact, be there for those who are suffering. Why? Because if you’re there for them, then it’s likely that they will be there for you, too.
Understand that strength comes in numbers, and human predators prefer loners. If you band together with other victims, they will think twice before accosting you. But most of all, it will enhance your resilience.
15. Keep company only with those who uplift you.
A true friend uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. They encourage you, have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer you on when you succeed.
All too often, victims latch on to fake friends – frenemies who only tolerate them. These frenemies will subtly humiliate you in public. Then they throw you under the bus when you’re in trouble.
Resilience wanes sometimes. Therefore, to stay resilient, you must feed your confidence by surrounding yourself with only those who encourage you.
Resilience:
16. Make affirmations every day.
This is as easy as looking in the mirror each morning and making “I am” statements to yourself. For example, you can say,
- “I AM beautiful.”
- “I AM smart.”
- “I AM better than what they say.”
- “I AM a good person.”
- “I AM worthy of love and friendship.”
- “I deserve respect and dignity.”
There are many affirmations you can choose to tell yourself. This may be awkward at first. However, the longer you practice this technique, the more natural it will feel.
And, most importantly, the better you will feel about yourself. This produces resilience.
In closing
Resilience can determine the entire trajectory of your life. It determines your successes and failures because you need it to avoid giving up when times get tough.
Therefore, it’s crucial to remain resilient when you experience bullying. Thinking positively also helps. Remember that bullies want you to give up. They want you to quit.
Don’t give them what they want. Be someone they find hard to bring down.
This post was all about resilience and how important it is to have it when you suffer from bullying.
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