How to Recover from Bullying: The 1 Thing You Must Do

6 Comments

‘Want to know how to recover from bullying? Here’s the one thing you must do if you expect to recover from and overcome bullying.

how to recover from bullyingTo recover from bullying takes time and effort. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recover from bullying and reclaim your power and your life.

Once you learn this one crucial step, you will overcome bullying so much faster.

This post is all about how to recover from bullying so that you can move on to a better and more rewarding life.

How to Recover from Bullying

This may make you angry because it did me when someone gave me this advice years ago.

Moreover, you may think that I’m an idiot for what I’m about to say. However, when I finally did it, it worked for me. Therefore, here is the ONE thing you must do to recover.

You must forgive your bullies.

Ouch! I know this is not what you expected to read. However, know that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to be buddy-buddy with them.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean foolishness

Healthy forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you was okay. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind.

It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

Sadly, too many people think that forgiveness means that you must play nice. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt.

Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse. Why? Because they assume you’ll always be okay with it.

Forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with bullies. It doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool. You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good.

Toxic people are dead weight, and though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

How to Recover from Bullying:

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Because these people have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. However, if you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they’ll continue to take advantage of you.

You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them. However, no law says you have to trust them again. In fact, you shouldn’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiving your bullies and anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I know, I know! I can practically hear the groans of dread and scoffs coming from a few already. To be honest, I once had the same attitude myself anytime someone advised me to forgive.

I wasn’t ready to because I hadn’t healed yet.

How to Recover from bullying:

You must heal before you can forgive

Sometimes, you need time to process the abuse you suffered and heal before you can forgive.  I understand because I’ve been there. And only you can know when you’re ready.

Again, forgiveness doesn’t mean that the transgression they committed against you is okay. And, it does not mean that you have to buddy up with the person who wronged you.

But when you’re ready to forgive, it will only benefit you, not your attacker.

 It took me several years to forgive my classmates. It was why I didn’t go to the ten or twenty-year class reunion. I had no desire to see their faces. I was just damn glad they were out of my life.

As long as I stayed away from my former schoolmates and they stayed away from me, I was happy. But when I’d see one of them on the street, I’d turn and walk away without giving them so much as a “hi” or “kiss my ass.”

To heal and forgive, you must allow yourself to feel the emotions.

When you’ve been a target of bullies, it’s only natural to feel anger, resentment, and disgust. To heal, we must allow ourselves to go through the pain and raw emotions.

Never bury the pain. Never keep it stuffed down inside because you’re afraid to make anyone angry or uncomfortable. Why? Because it will only fester if you do.

You will internalize everything you’ve been through, which is the worst thing you can do. It will come out sooner or later in a very destructive rage or physical illness, such as a heart attack.

How to Recover from Bullying:

It’s okay to feel sad. Just don’t dwell on it.

Take your time and feel your emotions as long as you need to. Go somewhere private and cry if you need to. Crying doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means that you’re a human being.

Please do whatever you need to do to get it off your chest. The sooner you process those bad feelings, the sooner you can forgive and move on to a better life.

Just don’t stay in that dark place for long. Don’t set up your tent and live there!

Be open about your anger and talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. Tell them you’re pissed. Speak out about the abuse. But get it out! And realize there will be those who won’t like it.

Understand that, in this world, some people won’t mind wiping their feet all over you. However, they will be greatly offended when you become angry about it and speak out.

There will be those who expect you to be okay with something they know good and well they wouldn’t be OK with if it were done to them. But tell those people to get lost because they don’t matter. What matters is that you care for yourself and put yourself first.

It’s okay to speak up and defend yourself.

Why should you give a ticker’s damn about their feelings? They never gave a damn about yours. So, never let those ignoramuses make you feel guilty for speaking out and responding in kind!

Tell them what you think and let it out. But do it constructively. Put some bass in your voice. Be firm, but don’t yell. A certain amount of cursing is expected when you’re pushed too far.

But don’t drop any F-bombs. Raise your voice if you need to, but don’t scream and yell. Screaming and yelling will only incite toxic bullies to push your buttons to see you react. Then they will tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re “mentally unstable.”

I’m glad to say that I eventually healed and forgave them. Doing this felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. And when I forgave, I found a peace I hadn’t known in years.

I was able to move on through reading, researching, and writing about bullying. But first, I had to heal!

How to Recover from Bullying:

Forgiveness is the prerequisite for re-empowerment.

This bears repeating. It’s not about letting anyone off the hook. It’s about setting yourself free from toxic emotions that hold you back.

This message is for targets of bullying today and for survivors. Forgive them when you’re ready. I can tell you that for me, there’s truly no better feeling!

Let go of grudges.

Anytime you hold on to grudges, that individual controls you. They may have exerted control over the years they bullied you. But you don’t have to let them control the rest of your life.

Let me put it another way, holding onto anger doesn’t hurt the person it’s aimed at. It hurts you. Why? Because the people you have grudges against either don’t know about it, or they don’t care.

While you’re sitting around stewing over someone who did you wrong, that person couldn’t care less. They’re going on with their lives and not giving you a thought. So, why should you allow them to take up space in your mind?

Forgiveness is the only solution. It’s the only way that you will be able to take back control of your life.

If you want to be happy, successful, and live in peace, forgive those who wronged you. It’s the only way!

How to Recover from Bullying:

Never allow Yourself to Hate Your Bullies

Sadly, hate is too easy for bullying targets to get sucked into. When others have treated you so horrifically for long enough, you lose faith in humanity.

A person who is the object of bullying begins to believe that all people are self-serving and enjoy seeing others suffer. They soon become the very ones they’re suspicious of. I’ve been there.

Targets of bullying often think that there is justification for their hate. However, does this intense loathing serve any purpose or have benefits? No!

No matter how some creep may have wronged you, never give in to hate. Because it is poisonous! Not to the other person but to YOU!

Here’s Why:

  • It burns you up inside. It eats down into your very soul and prolongs feelings of hurt, depression, and downright misery.
  • Again, it doesn’t hurt your enemy. It hurts you because nine times out of ten, the person you hate either doesn’t know about it or doesn’t care.
  • You give up your blessings. Also, you forego any opportunities that would otherwise come your way. You invite negativity and evil into your world instead. Hatred causes you to forego your own happiness, and life is too short to be anything but happy.
  • Again, while you are sitting around stewing over some idiot who has wronged you in the past, they aren’t thinking about you.
  • It can destroy your happiness and prospects.
  • It skews your judgment and ability to think clearly.
  • It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.
  • It numbs your conscience and dulls your reasoning capabilities.
  • You will condone things that you would otherwise deem immoral and evil.
  • You will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the one you hate. Yet you will condemn it if it’s against anyone else, even a total stranger.
  • It prevents you from recovering.
  • It is a sick and twisted obsession, and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

As a result, you will never recover from bullying.

It Serves No Purpose

While you are holding grudges and plotting ways to get back at them, that person is getting on with life. The person who hurt you doesn’t care about you.

They are not thinking about you. So why do you allow them to live rent-free in your head? They are a complete waste of brain activity!

Hate, insecurity, grudges, and excessive anger are all garbage in your life. And they need to be disposed of.

It’s time to take out the trash and take back the peace and happiness that you not only deserve but have a divine right to.

You deserve to be happy. And the only way you will find happiness is to let go of any grudges and hate and replace them with love and acceptance. It is what I had to do before I could recover from bullying and finally be happy again.

 

How to Recover from Bullying:

What hate does to the hater

It eats the hater’s soul out from the inside. Their minds are so consumed that all they can focus on is ways to harm the object of their hatred.

It causes them to give a pass to things they would otherwise deem the most depraved and heinous. That is, as long as they’re done to the person they despise.

Hate can turn the kindest humans into the vilest monsters. If it’s someone they loathe who is being abused, they will stand by and watch it happen with smiles on their faces.

If you’re bullied and the object of animosity, your bullies have a sick and twisted obsession with you. They can’t get you out of their minds, and they want to hurt you as much as they possibly can.

Yes! You read that correctly. Hate is an obsession. And it won’t destroy you alone. It will ruin your bullies, too.

You can choose to let your haters get to you or not.

You have the delicious power to re-frame your thinking and see their hatred for what it is. It comes from something inside them; it has nothing to do with you.

They are only poisoning themselves with it. So, sit back, eat your popcorn, and watch them eat their hearts out and self-destruct.

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies- deep into their eyes- down into their souls! And I genuinely believe that if there weren’t a law against murder, I wouldn’t be here today.

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt its powerful and painful sting and been paralyzed by it. As much as I don’t like to admit it, I even directed it toward others in those days.

But I’ve also learned that there’s dignity in being hated.

How to Recover from Bullying:

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

Indifference is better. Why? Because with indifference, you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

On the other hand, with the former, you care because you want the despised person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to ensure nothing good happens to the other person.

And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to them. This is what animosity does. It causes you to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t return the animosity. When you refuse to despise those who wronged you, you recover from bullying so much faster.

Instead, be indifferent toward them; do that by stopping your thoughts about them. Stop caring what others think. Forgive them. Recover. Then move on and do your thing, baby!

How to Recover from bullying:

Summary:

  • To recover from bullying, you must forgive your bullies.
  • Forgiveness isn’t letting anyone off the hook; it’s setting yourself free.
  • Get rid of any hatred because it will only rot you out from the inside and hinder recovery.
  • Realize that there is dignity in being despised. So, don’t give your bullies the dignity they don’t deserve. On the same token, if you are the object of hatred, smile. Because your enemy is giving you dignity without realizing it.
  • Through forgiveness, you recover from bullying much faster.

This post showed you how to recover from bullying so that you can move on to peace and happiness.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

2. Recovery from Bullying: Journey to Healing

3. The Importance of Forgiveness

4. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection  

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy

6 Comments

‘Want to know how to turn a bully into a buddy? I did it, and you can too. Here’s how.

how to turn a bully into a buddy

In this post, you will learn how to turn a bully into a buddy so that you can win by turning an enemy into a friend.

Once you learn all these cool details, you will turn bullies who are easily won over into the best of friends, and they will wonder why they ever hated you to begin with. But, more importantly, you will have rewarding friendships that last a lifetime.

This post is all about how to turn a bully into a buddy so you can win without throwing a punch or showing hostility.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy

Believe it or not, you can turn a bully into a buddy. However, it depends on the person you are dealing with. With the right attitude and the proper techniques, some bullies are easy to turn into friends.

However, many bullies are resistant to any kindness you show them. Therefore, you shouldn’t waste your time with them. Just let them go. It’s the best thing to do when someone is that determined to dislike you.

Here is a true story of personal experience.

Shelly (not her real name) was one of my most vicious bullies in school. When we passed one another in the hallway or at a ballgame, we would not hesitate to exchange nasty insults.

We would growl, “Bitch!”, “Whore!” “Skank!” every time we saw each other. Thinking up ways to degrade and slut-shame each other was always a top priority during these little meetings.

Twenty years later

Fast-forward twenty years, in late 2007, I went to a karaoke show at the Moose Lodge on the outskirts of town. I wanted to celebrate my courage to break off my recent 2 1/2 year-long abusive relationship.

Therefore, I decided to reward myself with a fun girls’ night out.

When I arrived at the Moose Lodge with a few friends in tow, the first word I heard was, “Oh my God! Not that bitch!” Honestly, I thought the verbal assault was directed at someone else until I looked up and saw her.

There Shelly stood, pool cue in one hand, the other hand resting on her boyfriend’s back. Her eyes and brows narrowed into little slits in her face and bore into me like a sharp object.

I had not seen her in two decades. And I wondered how she’d managed to drag around so much hate for so many years. After all, I had forgotten entirely about her amid juggling bills, a job, family, and other adult priorities.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

I didn’t realize that Shelly was fighting her own demons.

Sadly, I also had to do some self-reflection. I discovered that maybe I, too, had some unresolved hatred. Only it had been a case of out of sight, out of mind.

I’d soon learn that that night, Shelly was at the lowest point of her life. Life had not been kind to her either. And she was lashing out. I couldn’t hate her. I could only feel bad for her.

It seemed that, even twenty years, two marriages, and children hadn’t been enough to erase the teenage animosity she still held. We lived in a small Southern town. And in small Southern towns, few people forget the past.

Therefore, it’s easy for the reputation you had in your teens to follow you for the rest of your life. Sadly, this is still how it is in a small town.

The turning point

Having always loved music and had a strong voice, I got up and sang one of my favorite songs. Everyone cheered once I was finished. After I sat down, Shelly sat down beside me and was very impressed with my performance.

She told me she admired my voice and had always known I could sing.  However, she didn’t think I was that good. At first, I was flabbergasted. This was the first positive remark I’d heard from her.

Nevertheless, I was grateful. I smiled and gave her a gracious “Thank you. It’s good to see you again after all these years.”

We continued to talk, and she took some pictures out of her purse to show me. Those pictures were those of her talents – woodwork and paintings. They were the most beautiful works I’d ever seen.

This lady was very talented, and I wouldn’t deny it. I truly loved her work and could not stop looking at those pictures and complimenting her. She was truly an expert in woodworking and oil painting.

It was at that point that the dynamics of our relationship changed for the better. We exchanged phone numbers and soon began calling each other. Also, we texted cute little funnies back and forth.

Next, we began inviting each other to family outings and cookouts. Also, we started meeting each other in town for lunch or coffee.

How to Turn a Bully into a buddy:

One of my worst bullies became one of my best friends.

We soon became the greatest of friends, and I grew to love Shelly very much. We often talked about how we had missed out on what could have been a wonderful friendship years ago.

“Boy! We were clueless back then, weren’t we?” Shelly laughed. I laughed and readily agreed. She was right. We were kids with big mouths and bad attitudes.

The past couldn’t be changed. Therefore, we were content to go from there and make our friendship as fun as possible.

The moral of the story.

Nothing is impossible. It is always possible to turn a bully or enemy into a friend. All it takes is to break down that wall and show the other person genuine interest.

Everybody loves it when you are interested in them, their likes, and how things are going in their lives. Even some of the coldest and meanest of people soften toward anyone who tries to understand them.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

We all want the same things.

As humans, we all have a certain degree of selfishness. We all desire the same things- to be loved, appreciated, and respected.

Everybody has a void waiting to be filled. If we can fill the void by making the person feel loved and that they belong, we will make them feel wanted.

It is said that people may forget what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel. If you can make them feel like they’re the only person in the room, it’ll be the difference between gaining a friend and keeping an enemy.

Through our many talks, I found out that the girl I thought was so cruel was a girl who didn’t feel loved by anyone. She was just as sad as I was, but had put on a tough exterior. Also, she had suffered incidents of bullying herself, and it still hurt her immensely.

I didn’t know that I would eventually lose Shelly to a devastating disease.

Sadly, my beautiful friend passed away eight years ago from cancer. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her and think of her.

I’ll never forget that night at the karaoke club, the night Shelly and I became close friends. We remained as close as sisters until the day she died.

By showing her genuine interest, without fakery, I turned one of my most resistant bullies into one of my best friends. And I’m so thankful that we got the chance to be besties.

We discovered that the other person was really a great person who had been hiding a lot of past hurts. We were both broken people! Others had mistreated us both. And that commonality is what brought us closer.

I thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together, and I miss her…I miss her so much. Fly high, Shelly! Until we meet again on those golden streets!

Here are the steps on how to turn a bully into a buddy.

1. Show Genuine interest in them.

You can’t just act like you’re interested in them; you must be interested in them. In other words, if you aren’t really interested in the person, don’t fake it. People can sense when you’re being fake. Your body language will tell them.

Therefore, show genuine interest in the person. This means showing interest in their hobbies and interests. Also, it means asking how things are going in their lives.

2. Make eye contact and lean in when they speak.

This shows that you want to hear what they have to say. And, trust me on this. They will appreciate it very much.

3. Ask how they’re doing.

When you ask how someone is doing, it shows that you care about their well-being and want them to do well. And people appreciate it.

4. How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

Remember that everyone wants and needs the same things.

Just as you want people to love and respect you, so does everyone else. If you keep this universal truth in the back of your mind, you will be a true friend. Therefore, you will attract true friends.

5. Have their back.

If they are going through a difficult time, be there for them. Be the source of support they need. And if someone mistreats them, stand up for them. Let them know that you will stand behind them when someone bullies them.

6. Find things you both have in common.

In other words, if you and the other person have been through the same things, share that. If you both like rock music, share that too. People are attracted to those who are most like them. They will befriend those they share the same experiences with.

To make a friend, you must first be a friend. Therefore, extend your friendship by making the person feel good when you are around.

This post is all about how to turn a bully into a Buddy so that you can defeat an enemy without ever showing hostility. More importantly, you can be the friend they need.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You: 4 Tips and Tricks

2. Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

Let It Make You or Break You: Being a Victim of Bullying

6 Comments

“Let it make you or break you.” You’ve heard the term. Here’s how to overcome bullying so that you can move on to peace, happiness, and success!

let it make you or break you

In this post, you will discover that, no matter how severely you are bullied, you still have the power to determine the outcome. Let it make you or break you.

Once you learn all about this vital truth, you will be compelled to let it make you better instead of bitter.

This post is all about the choice you must make, whether to let it make you or break you, so that you can make the right decision.

Let It Make You or Break You

Understand that simply caring about anyone or anything is going to be painful. It’s why so many who were once kind and caring people are now cold, hard, angry, and bitter.

These people were relentlessly bullied, and they allowed it to make them cold and mean. They are often those who adopt the “I’m going to get you before you get me” attitude.

Bullying has a way of taking it all out of you. It doesn’t only take away your self-esteem, confidence, energy, and happiness. It also strips away your love and kindness, your health —even your will to live.

But only if you let it!

Bullying will either make or break you. It will either wise you up or dum you down. And it will make you better or bitter. Either way, these results are up to you.

Bullying changes a person, no doubt about it. But don’t let it make you bitter. Let it make you better!

You still have the power to determine your outcomes.

Being the object of bullies is a hell that only a few people can comprehend. If you aren’t careful, it can very easily turn you from a kind and caring human being to one of two things:

  • an angry, bitter. distrusting and mean-spirited person
  • a sad, sullen, and withdrawn individual.

Bullying can either make or break you. Sadly, so many people end up broken. But I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You still have a choice of what you do with it.

If you continue practicing self-care, chances are the bullying you experience won’t have as much impact. So don’t—I repeat—DON’T give up! EVER!

I say this because I’m living proof. I’m a very happy, healthy, and successful adult. But if you knew me during high school, you never would’ve thought that I would ever make it as far as I have.

The bullying didn’t break me. It made me! I consciously chose not to let it break me. And you, too, have that choice. Being bullied is never good. But it not only made me a stronger, more resilient, and compassionate woman.

Let it Make You or Break You:

Being bullied can be a powerful motivator.

It also motivated me.

It gave me the drive to pursue my goals and dreams. Also, it gave me a purpose. And that purpose is to spread awareness of the bullying epidemic, which seems to be sweeping the globe.

It gave me the drive to become a published author and be a voice for those who are too afraid to speak out. It can do the same for you, too!

But understand this: If you have a dream, there will be people along the way who will do their best to discourage you. Why? Because if you flourish, it will compel them to take a long look at their own mediocrity.

It’ll be as if you’re holding a mirror up to them and showing them a reflection of who they really are. You will be a walking reminder of their own personal failures.

Therefore, no matter how others may treat you, you must continue to follow your dreams. You must do what makes you happy. Never shrink yourself down to make someone else feel better about themselves.

Tune out the voices of toxic people.

You must mute the voices of these toxic people and get them out of your life, if possible. And do it as quickly as you can. Then continue pursuing and achieving your goals, because life is too short not to.

You only get one shot at life. Make it count! Do what fulfills you and live life to the fullest! You can do it!

Let it Make You or Break You:

Bullies May Turn Others Against You, but Never Allow Them to Turn You Against You!

No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are. Bullies love spinning smear campaigns and turning others against you.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid. However, no matter how convincing the bullies are or how many believe them, it doesn’t make the talk true. Remember that reputation doesn’t equal character!

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can do that. They may try. They may think they know you. But do they really?

I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that everyone hates you. Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?”

It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized. In other words, it’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. Their behavior reflects on them, not you.

Therefore, you are not responsible for their ugly behavior. Believe it!

You must love yourself even if others don’t.

Continue to love yourself. Continue to be true to your own heart! Keep doing the things that give you pleasure. Surround yourself with those who love you and want the best for you.

Why? Because when everyone bullies you, you must ‘baby’ your self-esteem! Bullies may turn everyone else against you! Just don’t allow them to turn you against yourself.

You have no reason to hate yourself. So, love yourself even when it seems that others hate you. I promise you that your self-esteem will thank you for it! You will thank yourself for it!

Let it Make You or Break You:

Avoid Self-Pity

It all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice, not something that magically happens to only certain people.

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s OK to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

So, allow yourself to be angry. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Understand that your bullies are cowards and fighting demons of their own. Only they are doing it the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you only proves it.

So, never let your tormentors cause you to feel sorry for yourself because self-pity is so unattractive and socially repelling! The only thing it does is bring more misery and repel people.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world.

Also, realize what a blessing you are to the people who love you. Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions.

Let it Make You or Break You:

You Are Responsible for your own life.

Let’s face it. Life isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. But you owe it to yourself. And you have every right to pursue and achieve happiness and make a good life for yourself.

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand. However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt wisely.

It’s the luck of the draw. Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you can move upward.

It may take time and a ton of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it.

empower yourself by ditching the word “fair”

People need to man up (or woman up). You must accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust.

In short, the world isn’t fair. Sadly, I see many victims of bullying saying, “It’s not fair!” And, though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

But since when has life ever been fair?

Banish the word “fair” from your vocabulary and start working toward your goals. I guarantee that you’ll be much happier.

Let it Make You or Break You:

Try to Avoid Complaining.

When you’re being bullied, it’s easy to complain about it. However, when you whine and complain, you focus only on the problem, not on possible solutions. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect, a complainer.

If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there is a time and place for it. However, complaining won’t change things.

Complaining always comes from powerlessness! It comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim mentality. Moreover, it comes from laziness and a lack of personal responsibility.

Sure. Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it every time something doesn’t go your way, it becomes a problem.

So, which would you rather do? Let it make you or let it break you? If you let bullying break you, they win. But if you let it make you, then you become the winner.

And how do you empower yourself? Learn to love yourself. Practice confidence. Become your own hero!

This post was all about the decision to let it make you or break you so that you will be encouraged to take the steps you need to overcome bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders 

2. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You  

4. Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

leaving town to escape bullying reddit

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying: 7 Reasons it’s a Good Idea

6 Comments

‘Want to know why leaving town to escape bullying is sometimes the best idea? Here, you’ll find out the exact reasons, in detail, why moving to a new area could be the best decision you’ll ever make.

leaving town to escape bullying

“A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” – Mark 6:4

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you may need to consider leaving town to escape bullying.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you will be compelled to make the changes you need to have a better life.

This post is all about leaving town to escape bullying and why it could be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying

You want to live bully-free. You long for others to give you space and the chance to relax, be yourself, and live a rewarding and meaningful life.

Moreover, you want opportunities to flow into your life and to live by your own standards. If people bully you, you probably desire to reinvent yourself and attract love and respect.

Unfortunately, to do this, you will have to leave the area if everyone bullies you. Here’s why this is a good idea.

1. People will always know you as the label they stuck you with.

If you don’t move, everyone will never forget you as that “loser,” or that “whore.” They will only remember you as that “lowlife,” that “nut-ball,” or whatever label they stuck you with. Therefore, no one will give you a chance, no matter what you do.

Moreover, Everyone will know you as the kid whom everyone bullied and got away with it. They’ll always have you in their mind as “Everybody’s bitch.”

As a result, they will treat you as such. And they will do it long after graduation, especially if you live in a small town or rural area.

So, why not consider leaving if you can afford it?

2. Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In a New Town, People Will Likely Welcome You.

In a new geological area, you will be the new kid in town. You will be that new kid who is mysterious, intriguing, and beguiling!

You will be the person everyone is anxious to meet because they feel that you’re full of hope and promise. When you leave for a new area, you can reinvent and redefine yourself.

You can rewrite your own story and give a stellar first impression, then let it speak for itself. As a result, you can be successful at anything. And you can attract endless opportunities for love, friendship, and advancement.

3. If you stay, no one will give you a chance to rise above.

But back in the old town, you’re the kid who was desperate for attention. In other words, others will view every success you enjoy as another ploy to show off and impress others.

Also, there’s a high likelihood that you will provoke their jealousy. And they will treat you even worse as an adult.

In contrast, any failure will be seen by others as an “I told you so” moment. It will confirm to them that you really are a loser.

However, in a new area, your value comes from what you put out. You are judged by the fruit you bear, not who you are.

Whereas, in the old town, you are judged by your reputation, which was ruined in school. Just because of who they think you are, they will adjust their attitudes to reflect hostility.

Therefore, leaving town saves you from all of that.

4. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

In the old town, people will have already made up their minds.

In a locale where you were bullied, nobody will be interested in how much you’ve grown as a person. They won’t want to hear about any successes you’ve enjoyed or accomplishments you’ve made. Why?

Because it would only force them to consider that maybe you’re not such a bad person after all. As a result, it might quiet their own judgment of you.

Think about it. No one wants to be wrong about anything. Therefore, they’ll only dig their heels in and double down on their judgments and attitudes.

Again, leaving town and going where no one knows you gives you a chance to re-establish yourself.

5. Without leaving town, you’ll Never Discover Your True Potential.

It’s next to impossible to discover your true potential when others define you by who they think you are. Their perceptions of you will always be negative, so they will do everything they can to keep you in your place.

It’s a box you will never be able to get out of, no matter what. However, when you leave and move to a new environment, you will more likely advance. You’re likely to get the breakthrough you’ve waited for so long.

6. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Opportunities will open up for you.

You could become an expert at something later in life. And others would respect you for it anywhere else. However, if you took that expertise to the old town, only a scant few would acknowledge it.

But if you leave and move to a new locale and show what you know, then you’ll likely have notoriety.

But more importantly, you should consider leaving so you can finally have peace. Do it because your happiness and your sanity depend on it.

Why would you stay in a place where people constantly watch you every move? Moreover, why would you stay where people unfairly judge and mistreat you?

Why stay where you’ll only suffer more bullying in the future? Also, why live where people will more than likely bully you out of every job you find?

Moreover, why risk bullies harassing you at the supermarket? Why continue to live under the threat of hoodlums jumping you in the parking lot outside the local Dairy Queen?

7. You can always return for a visit if you have family in the old town, but you don’t have to live there.

You can always return a few years later after you’ve built your confidence and social and creative portfolios. However, don’t be surprised if you notice all the things that suck about the old town.

And, one of the things that will suck the most is the reception you get from the people there. Therefore, if you have family there, stop in for a visit. However, do it on a low key.

Another thing that will most likely disappoint you is that you will have experienced more life changes than anyone who stayed. Therefore, they would only bore the crap out of you.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

It’s best to get out of Dodge

Leaving town isn’t running, and it isn’t being chicken. It’s finding a place where you can flourish and have a better life. There’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s no shame or blame in that.

Go to a brand-new place and rediscover yourself. You want to get beyond the confines of your reputation, and the only way to do that is to pack your bags and leave.

When you escape bullying, you escape everything that comes with it. You escape mental and physical abuse, and you also escape unfair judgment. And the best part is that you escape stagnation.

Leaving town is the only way you’ll become what you want to be and move up in the world! Once you move to a new area and get re-established, you’ll have a level of respect, influence, safety, and best of all, freedom that you never would’ve achieved had you stayed in your home area!

You either leave or stay and embrace the Suck.

I realize that some cannot leave, especially children or adults who can’t afford it. Life circumstances can sometimes trap victims of bullying in a school or town that hates them.

It’s easier to get out of a toxic environment when you’re an adult who others bully at work. You can transfer, and if you can’t transfer, you can always quit.

However, when you’re a minor, it’s almost impossible. What if your family cannot afford to move to a new school district? Also, what if your parents refuse to move or to transfer you? What if your parents can’t afford to homeschool you?

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a toxic environment and in a horrible situation. When everyone in the school or area is bullying you and there’s no way of escaping it, it’s the feeling of entrapment!

Just imagine finding yourself in this situation, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t get away from it! You’re just stuck there!

So, what do you do? You embrace the suck.

Embracing the suck means that you grin and bear it. You accept the god-awful, crappy mess that plagues your life because there’s no other choice.

Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Sadly, some people have no choice but to stay.

In other words, you’re just plain screwed, and there’s no way out of it. You decide to live with it and make peace with the possibility that things may not get any better. And yes, it sucks!

Sadly, uncontrollable circumstances keep targeted kids in schools with a toxic culture of bullying. Finances keep adults stuck in neighborhoods full of people who hate them.

When a child is stuck in a school where bullying is rife, their classmates attack them daily. They attack them psychologically and physically.

Teachers and principals view these children unfavorably because bullies have convinced them that they are the instigators. Therefore, school staff are constantly watching them, waiting for any reason to drag them into the principal’s office.

These kids suffer from plummeting grades and poor school performance. Why? Because circumstances force them to stay in a toxic school.

As a result, they live in survival mode. And, unfortunately, preparing for a hostile learning environment takes priority over studying and learning.

Therefore, school staff see them as lazy and hopeless. And they refuse to give them the extra help they need.

Gee! That’s an awful lot of suck!

And how much suck can one child deal with?

Understand that if you’re a child dealing with these types of circumstances, you don’t have to “embrace the suck.” There’s always School Choice.

Nowadays, families can apply for vouchers to transfer their child to a new school. These vouchers have saved countless targets from years of bullying.

Also, there are other things you can do if, by chance, School Choice isn’t an option where you live:

  • document the bullying and have your parent or legal guardian help you with your documentation.
  • Also, depending on the jurisdiction you live in, hide a body cam or digital device somewhere on your person.
  • Thirdly, practice self-care.

And keep the faith. School Choice may not be available in your area now, but it doesn’t mean it won’t be later. You are not entirely powerless. Do the above three things because they are within your control.

When you document and record the bullying and practice self-care, you’ll not only change the dynamic. You’ll also feel so much better about yourself because you will have at least some control.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In conclusion

If you can’t leave, my heart goes out to you. However, if you can, you must consider doing so because leaving for greener pastures can change your life. Leaving town to escape bullying usually works out for the best. It gives you new hope.

It allows you to get re-established and start your life anew. You will meet new people who will welcome you because you’ll have no history with them.

Leaving town gives you a fresh start with a clean slate. And you won’t regret it. I promise you!

This post was all about leaving town to escape bullying to let you know that there is always something you can do to better your life and get away from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying 

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You 

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill: 7 Reasons They Do It

6 Comments

‘Want to know why bullies label you mentally ill? Here are all the reasons they do it and how you can fight back.

why bullies label you mentally ill

When people label you “unhinged,” no one has to take you seriously ever again. Others will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

In this post, you will learn why bullies label you mentally ill, so that you discover where the label comes from.

Once you realize these crucial facts, you will be able to counter the label more confidently and effectively, as you will understand its intentions.

This post will tell you why bullies label you mentally ill to alleviate any confusion you may have and to help you stand firm against the label.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they are deemed a criminal. Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists, more seriously. What a crying shame!

Therefore, when bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that it can make the labelled person doubt their own sanity. In other words, it’s not so much that they think you’re mentally imbalanced; it’s that they want you to believe it.

Why? Because if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

Furthermore, the cr4zy card is the easiest for bullies to play. Although they can never prove you’re a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

This Label is worse than the label, “criminal.”

This is why the mental health label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting.

“Cray-cray” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you. Think about it. They can’t easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around.

Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more you know about the ins and outs and the reasons behind its use, the better you can defend against it.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually the label does wear out. And when that happens, its effect will be lost.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

3 Reasons Bullies Stick The “Cray” Label on you

Do you ever wonder why bullies attach labels, such as “unstable” or “mentally disturbed,” to you when you stand up to their abuse? Here are the reasons:

1. The unstable label is used by bullies as a last option

When there is nothing else they can pin on you, this is their last-ditch effort to stigmatize you. And, sadly, it works like a charm.

2. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

Let’s say you’re a target of bullying and have the guts to stand up to the abuse.  The bully may tell everyone that you’re nuts, and everyone else may believe it, too.

There is no way the bully can prove that you are, in fact, unhinged. However, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you. And proving that you aren’t mentally ill is the most difficult.

3. They’re trying to make you doubt your own sanity.

Bullies aren’t clueless. In fact, they probably know more about human nature than the average person. They’ve learned that if someone is told something a million times, they’re more likely to believe it, eventually.

And when you believe something about yourself, you will likely live up to it. Therefore, don’t you doubt your sanity for a second!

If you know that you are not mentally ill, say it! Tell them that you know what they are trying to do and that you don’t buy it!

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

People tend to believe the worst in others.

This is why the “cray-cray” label is just too easy to stick on anyone. People have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. And, again, the burden of proof lies with you.

It is damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally ill when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down. Why? Bullying is devastating to the victim’s mental health.

Therefore, when a person is bullied, they are at their worst.

The natural response is to react when attacked.

The natural human response is to react and defend oneself when attacked. Bystanders can very easily mistake your reaction for mental illness.

It happens when others walk in on you as you’re telling your bully where to stick it. Many times, they only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

Then they draw the wrong conclusions. Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. Often, this is how they set it up.

Bullies have ways of making you look like you’ve completely “lost it” to any witnesses who happen to walk by.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds when they’re wrong! If the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report the harassment?

And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely batshit!”

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

The trick is to stand up to them calmly.

Please, for your own sake, don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and you tell them, “You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

And you do it calmly.

Then walk away, leaving the bully standing there, slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know. And you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Therefore, say as little as possible.

Tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”

You say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

The idea is not to beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

2 More Reasons Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill and Why It Works

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Sadly, a label like this has loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove- especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

If people bully you, there’s a good chance you will be an emotional wreck. Chronic abuse does that to victims. So, there’s another reason the mental label is a clever label to pin to them.

The label is only used to discredit you.

When bullies label you as bonkers, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. Allow me to explain further.

Bullies are big cowards. If they really and truly thought you were cuckoo, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. In fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, cray-cray, that person could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

That person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich. If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. And they will do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

So, if your bullies don’t really think you’re unstable, why then do they label you as such?

4. Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t clueless. They figure that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap. You will either report them or stand up to them.

And if everyone thinks you’re cray-cray, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

5. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them.

They do it just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse. In other words, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet. Why?

Because if they can silence you, they can keep their reputations spotless. Moreover, if you know that people think you’re unstable, chances are that you’ll be too afraid to open your mouth about it.

And why not? Because you’re “mentally unstable,” people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that you probably have a severe case of paranoia.

6. To discourage you from defending yourself.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back. If you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and hurt those poor, innocent bullies. Maybe they’ll think that you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re “unhinged.”

 Again, it’s true that your bullies can never prove you’re mentally imbalanced. However, there’s also no way that you can confirm that you aren’t. And it’s why this label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

Do you see how this works?

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

Your bullies don’t think you’re nuts, they think you’re weak.

They only push that label because weakness or helplessness has a certain allure. And your helplessness may compel others to come to your aid.

Helplessness sparks a natural tendency to take care of the helpless. However, people are less likely to help someone they deem mentally ill.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they label you mentally unhinged to strip you of that allure and appeal.

With the mentally ill label, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable. And if they can successfully dodge responsibility, they get to continue hurting you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, you must understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability. If you’re aware of the motives behind it, you’ll be able to catch it and counter them with it.

7. To control how others view you.

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally ill” label to control how others see you. And they’ll do it when they can no longer control you.

You see? When bullies no longer have power over you, they become anxious. They see you as a threat. So, they become desperate and afraid.

Refusing to be manipulated sends several messages to your bullies. And these messages threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and power.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

What are these messages?

  • You see through their smokescreens.
  • You’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • You’re the opposite of what they think of you – strong and intelligent, not weak and foolish.
  • You put them in their place.
  • They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • You don’t give a crap about what they say or think anymore.
  • You couldn’t care less about their approval.
  • They don’t matter to you anymore.
  • You no longer accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Thus, they feel entitled to mistreat you. They despise being told no, and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. So, they use the mental health label to stigmatize you.

Then they weaponize it to punish you.

Therefore, if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships and the way others perceive you.

In closing

Attaching the mental illness label on someone is the worst form of gaslighting there is.

Once you understand the reasons and motives behind the mental illness label, everything makes perfect sense. As a result, you will feel a lot more confident in defending yourself. You will no longer be afraid to speak out. And you will no longer care what others think.

Knowledge is power, and it can bring peace of mind.

This post was all about why bullies label you mentally ill so that you realize the motives behind it and will be encouraged to defend yourself anyway.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

2. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness 

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill 

4. Bullying Those with Mental Illness: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know 

types of people to avoid in life

Types of People to Avoid to Protect Yourself from Bullying

8 Comments

Want to know the types of people to avoid to protect yourself from bullying and abuse? Here are all the people you need to be aware of.

types of people to avoid

One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the types of people to avoid to keep yourself safe.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be able to spot them a mile away and avoid them like the plague.

This post is all about the types of people to avoid so that you can become more bully-proof and resistant to all kinds of human predators.

Types of People to Avoid

Trusting your feelings is also important. Why? Because some people are experts at hiding their true intentions. It’s a good thing we all have a sixth sense and can sense the vibes and energy others put out. This can also work in our favor.

Here are the types of rotten eggs to be aware of and avoid at all costs:

1. The gossip

The gossip is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people, and you’ll notice she does it all the time.

Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know. They always seem to know everything about everyone- everything, short of their bathroom habits.

So, know this! If they talk about others, they will talk about you, too. Ditch these people…fast!

Gossipers, Busybodies, and Buttinskies

Maybe it’s the nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life.  Or it’s the workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do.

Maybe you have a nosy neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window at you and the other neighbors. Whoever they are, these types can be a real hemorrhoid to those of us who only want to be left alone.

Types of People to Avoid:

The end goal is power and control!

Understand that these people can be bullies too. Their gossip, butting in, and having a constant nose stuck in your life can be a form of attempted control.

Bullies will often ask you personal questions to embarrass or humiliate you. And they will be the kinds of questions that make you cringe! Naturally, it may upset you and you might storm off.

However, what you should do is laugh, make fun of and humiliate them. And enjoy every minute of it.

Realize that even in the adult world, you’re going to have people with more nerve than a bad tooth. There will be those who will pry into your business and openly ask you personal, even embarrassing questions.

You might as well prepare for it now because they’re everywhere!

2. The big–nose

This person is virulently nosy and should be considered a twin sister to the gossip. Why? Because most gossips tend to have their faces in everyone’s business.

You will often find them asking personal questions and eavesdropping on conversations. Also, you may see them eyeing people intensely and butting in. They insert their cheap two cents where it doesn’t belong.

While we’re on the subject of nosy people, let’s delve a little deeper.

Types of People to Avoid:

The Difference Between Curiosity and Nosiness

A fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog a few years back. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

So, what is the difference between curiosity and nosiness? Simple. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries, whereas nosiness does.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosey is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out.”

“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

What do Nosey People and Curious PEOPLE do differently?

A curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. They are more interested in educational information. They want to know more about how things work than they do about other people.

On the other hand, a nosey person will pry into your personal and private business, trying to get some dirt on you. Then, they will spread it to everyone later.

Moreover, a nosey person will snoop through your mail, your computer- heck! If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t go there, too.

Understand that bullies are such people, and they will be the nosiest. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

Nosiness is invasive. If a nosy person asks you a personal question and you refuse to answer, they will accuse you of “having something to hide.”

Types of People to Avoid:

NOSEY people will claim you have something to hide if you don’t give them answers.

This is how bullies trick you. They will use the “having something to hide” line to coerce you into giving up the details.

Moreover, you might feel compelled to give it up even if they know it’s better to keep it private! When bullies make this accusation, you may cave in and go against your better judgment.

You may answer the bullies’ questions to prove that you don’t have anything to hide. And that’s when you get yourself into trouble.

Therefore, if you ever find yourself in this predicament, know this. Your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Additionally, bullies will accuse you of being nosy when you’re trying to learn something new. This happened to me, and, being a young teenager, I fell for the lie, and it affected my learning.

Nosiness can run in families.

Many of these people had parents who were the same way. They had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

I know this because a neighbor did the same to me many years ago. Therefore, nosiness is a generational thing with many. About 90% of my classmates also came from nosy, overbearing families. So did many coworkers I’ve worked with down through the years.

And it’s these kinds of people you should blow off and wave away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

Don’t get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them because it’s those types who really need to get a life and often don’t have one.

Types of People to Avoid:

Responding to a Nosy Person

It’s essential to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter busybodies with confidence.

For added clarity, here are the definitions of curiosity and nosiness.

Curiosity- a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broadens one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow. Curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries or to cause harm.

Nosiness- prying into other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and cause them harm.

Learn these differences by heart, and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the scenarios mentioned above.

3. Types of People to Avoid:

The two-face

The two-faced person is an even closer sister of the gossip. These people pretend to be your friend but stab you in the back. And, the sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know.

Again, if they talk about somebody else, they’ll talk about you, too. Just give them time. Therefore, be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

And two more words of advice. Steer clear!

4. The drama queen/king

This rotten egg is a chronic complainer who always seems to have a problem with every solution. They are never happy and are impossible to please.

Moreover, this person also seems to have unending misfortune – bad break after bad break, back-to-back. Sure, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck.

That’s perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is unknowingly bringing much of it on themselves somehow.

Drama queens and kings complain about everything and everybody. And they will complain about you, too, eventually. Bad moods have ways of spreading fast.

So, if the person consistently dogs your mood, it’s best not to have anything to do with them. No one wants to be around a sad-sack nosebleed who whines constantly. Why? Because being around them can quickly become a drag.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of people. They’re the type who think everyone is out to get them or that everyone has ulterior motives.

And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll assume you’re out to get them, too. And they will try to get you before you get them. Again, steer clear!

5. Types of People to Avoid:

The passive-aggressive person

This person is sneaky, and you should avoid them as well. Why? Because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unleash a rash of covert attacks. And they will be attacks you won’t even see coming until it’s too late.

Also, if they have an agenda and you happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

6. Anyone who puts out bad vibes.

When you’re around some people, you can sense that something is off about them. Or you pick up on the bad vibes and energies they put out that don’t feel good. Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie.

When it comes to bullying, many people find out the hard way. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Save yourself years of trial and error and the heartache that goes with it. Get rid of these people…pronto!

Avoiding these six types of people will save you many headaches in the future. The trick is to observe the people around you. Then you will figure out who the troublemakers are and who to avoid.

This post was all about the types of people to avoid so that you can save yourself trouble down the road.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

2. Nosy Bullies: 11 Reasons Bullies Pry into Your Private Business

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know

calling the bluff meaning

Calling the Bluff: Ways Bullies React When You Stand Up to Them

8 Comments

‘Want to know why calling the bluff is so effective in disarming bullies? Here’s why it works and how they react when you call their bluff.

calling the bluffSo, what does it mean to call someone’s bluff? According to Merriam-Webster, it means to challenge someone’s threat or statement because you don’t believe it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about calling the bluff, why it works, and how bullies react when you call their bluff.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be more emboldened to challenge bullies when they come around with threats and taunts.

This post is all about calling the bluff and everything that comes with it.

Calling the Bluff

As we all know, bullies are convincing liars. But what happens when they finally get called out on their lies and evil deeds? Let’s use scenarios to find out.

For example, you’re a target of bullying. You find out that the one friend you thought you could trust has been spreading your deepest secrets.

Also, they’ve been spreading lies behind your back while only pretending to be your best buddy. This can apply to both school and workplace environments.

When you confront her, here are her possible reactions.

1. She will deny it or try to avoid the subject.

How will you know she’s dishonest? She will deny it. Moreover, she may change the subject by discussing a topic irrelevant to the issue while appearing to be busy with a task. Girls are known for this.

2. She will become irate and go on a tirade.

She may yell and curse at you. Also, she may turn it back on you and accuse you of suffering from paranoia, being unhinged,  or being a crybaby.

But understand that she only looks and sounds desperate when she does this. Know that this is just another dead giveaway. Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted.

Understand that most bullies will get loud. They scream, yell, and pound their fists. They will curse and swear when they fear exposure.

However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate! And through their desperation, they only expose their guilt.

3. Calling the Bluff:

They will lay guilt trips on you.

For instance, the guilty person might say,

  • “Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe…”
  • “If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”

Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty or trying to intimidate you into silence.

If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, it’s a safe bet they’re the one who spoke it without your permission. And if enough people tell you that she is saying things behind your back, especially people you’ve never met or had any dealings with, or people who aren’t a threat to you, she’s guilty!

Example 2:

You have a bully on your back, and you’ve finally had enough. You call them out on their bad behavior and begin speaking out about the abuse they dish out.

4. They will escalate the harassment to either punish you or intimidate you.

Understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, they’re scared of facing accountability and losing face. Therefore, they will stop at nothing to silence you.

‘You see? Bullies have their image to protect. And, when something or someone threatens to shatter that image, they become unhinged.

5. Calling the Bluff:

He will justify himself with full conviction.

  • “If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
  • “If you weren’t so ignorant, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
  • “You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
  • “If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
  • “You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”

Isn’t it funny how they always seem to put it off on you? They love to blame you for their atrocious behavior, don’t they?

Also, they may make “you made me” statements.

  • “You made me hurt you.”
  • “You made me mad, so yeah, I hit you in the mouth.”
  • “You make people want to punch you.”

The other person may even say that you “had it coming” or “deserved it.” No, you didn’t! Again, don’t believe a word of it!

They chose to behave the way that they did. You never made that decision for them. Moreover, it’s impossible to control another person’s actions. Only they have that kind of power.

Therefore, don’t allow them to make you feel guilty. Continue to report the harassment. And keep speaking out about it.

You must protect yourself by speaking just as loudly and with just as much conviction as the bully. Make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!

6. Calling the Bluff:

They will slander you to everyone who will listen and try to turn others against you.

Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, she is fearful of losing control over you. So she spreads rumors and lies to discredit you. They also do it to distract others from their appalling and embarrassing behavior. If they can make you look like you instigated it, then they get off scot-free.

You must understand that if the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.

  • They can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
  • Also, they can discredit you, make themselves look like the victim, and, therefore, gain attention and sympathy from other people.
  • The bully can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
  • They get the green light to bully you again later and with impunity.
  • Moreover, they get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
  • And, they get the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.

As goes the old political quote from World War II, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

Understand that any smear campaign is designed to protect the guilty bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto innocent victims. It’s a tactic used since the beginning of time!

7. They will justify themselves.

  • Well, I wouldn’t have punched him if he hadn’t looked at me the wrong way. 
  • She wouldn’t have gotten hurt if she’d acted right.
  • If you’d only straighten up and fly right, you wouldn’t get beaten up all the time!

Bullies are forever making excuses for their rotten behavior. And, sadly, bystanders and witnesses fall for that garbage. But you don’t have to accept it.

So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior! And if they react like any of the above, tell them like it is.

Instead of allowing them to silence you or going along with their hair-brained excuses, say this:

“The tirade isn’t going to work anymore,” or “Go ahead and lie all you want. Everybody knows this is only retaliation because I had the gall to expose your deplorable behavior! Right,(the bully’s name)? Is that what this is, (Bully’s name)?”

Be sure to say the bully’s name at the end of the above questions because that really shakes a bully when you put their name on it! If the bully says, “No!” Tell them in a fast and short tone, “Oh, yes, it is, and you know it, (Bully’s name)!”

Counter. Everything. They. Come. Back with!

8. Calling the Bluff:

They will threaten you with physical violence.

If they threaten to harm you physically, you must challenge that. Call their bluff. And be really to throw down if they put their hands on you.

In other words, if they hit you or shove you, haul off and punch them back. Remember that bullies don’t respond to diplomacy; they only respond to strength. Therefore, they will only back off if you give them a good whack in the nose.

This post is all about calling the bluff so that you know what to expect and how to handle any retaliation that bullies may throw at you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

2. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

5. When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

flying monkeys meaning

Flying Monkeys: The 15 Personality Traits They All Share

6 Comments

‘Want to know all about flying monkeys? Here are all the traits of these kinds of people that you need to know.

flying monkeys

When we say flying monkeys, we don’t mean those from the Wizard of Oz. However, it is where the term got its meaning.

So, what are flying monkeys? They’re followers and minions who do the bullies’ dirty work. In other words, they’re those your bullies have recruited to attack you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the flying monkeys that bullies recruit to pursue you. Once you know all about those worker bees, you will recognize them when you see them. And, you will be able to better protect yourself from them.

This post is all about flying monkeys so that you can recognize them, see through their behavior, and protect yourself from them.

Flying Monkeys

It’s the bullies’ foot soldiers who do the dirty work of their leader. Why? For several reasons. The ringleader is too scared to fight their own battles, and the flying monkeys are slaves who do the work to get rewarded with something.

Having their strings pulled

Believe it or not, it’s easy to tell when someone is being controlled. Many nefarious actors use gaslighting to keep their followers in line. If you pay attention, you’ll always know if a person you know is being told what to say, what not to say, what to do, and what not to do.

If you are a target of bullying, you more than likely suffer at the request of a powerful ringleader. You may have had friends and allies at first. However, you’ve found that slowly, those friends and allies have only disappeared.

And now, you have no one left who will associate with you, much less help you. Do you know why?

It’s because your bullies have gotten to them somehow. Maybe they have either threatened to retaliate and harm them if they have any more to do with you. Or they may have given them good incentives to turn against you- social and financial perks, promotions, and rewards.

So, what are the traits of flying monkeys? How can you tell when a person is compromised?

1. Flying Monkeys:

They flip-flop back and forth.

This person will say whatever they’re told to say, often leading them to flip-flop. They say one thing, then later say the opposite. They say whatever they think will benefit them, or, at least, keep them out of hot water.

2. They say anything they think people want to hear, no matter how irrational and foolish they may sound.

Again, this goes back to flip-flopping. And bullies often change narratives. Therefore, their puppets must change with their puppet masters and handlers. This keeps them in the bullies’ good graces.

3. They go with whatever the prevailing narrative or belief is.

These worker bees will fall in line quickly. You can always tell a follower because they stay in lock step with their “masters.”

They quote whatever is popular and say whatever is popular. Moreover, they wear whatever the bullies are wearing and act however they must to stay on the bandwagon.

In short, they’re a bunch of wannabes trying haplessly to fit into the bullies’ world of morals and standards.

4. They’re chameleons.

This person will behave one way toward this person and another toward that person. Understand that this person has no personality of their own.

They conform to this group and that. They change personalities like a model changes clothes.

5. Flying Monkeys:

They can’t think for themselves.

Again, these idiots never think for themselves. They only flex and bend to anything others tell them. They allow others to suck them into the groupthink.

God help them if they ever had an original thought. Or worse, took a stand (gasp!).

6. They’re easily led and influenced.

Life must really suck if you need someone to hold your hand to make decisions. However, some people would rather be controlled than go out on a limb and choose for themselves.

They believe it’s better to have security than freedom. In their minds, freedom and independence are too risky because they might fail!

Being your own person indeed involves a lot of risk. Independence and free thought invite enmity and risk of failure.

However, you must understand that anyone who doesn’t like you because you prefer to be yourself is more than likely a controlling person. They may be an abuser, a bully, or a narcissist.

Only those who like to control others hate those who are independent and who think for themselves.

So, why would you want to please those types of people? Why would you choose a puppet master? Understand that only objects have owners.

You’re not an object, you’re a person with your own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs. So, keep it that way!

Flying Monkeys:

It’s best to let these kinds of friends go.

Let’s say that you are a target, and your friends and allies have turned their backs on you. It’s best that you have nothing more to do with them and find new friends.

You don’t want friends who are too weak to have your back when the chips are down. Trust me on that one.

You should choose strong friends and allies – people who aren’t too chicken to have your back and are more than happy to go to bat for you. That’s what real friends do!

These types of friends are hard to find. Fair-weather friends are a dime a dozen. Know that you deserve better!

Are they People or Sheople?

Sheople, sheeple, however you choose to spell the word, are people who are easily led. They are blind followers who are willing to be led to their own slaughter.

You often hear the word in toxic government politics. However, you also meet them in office and school politics. Not only do politicians use their followers, but bullies in the workplace and at school deploy them, too.

And most people are, in fact, toxic conformists. A person who thinks for themselves is a rare jewel, especially during the last few years. I’ll bet you’ve wondered why most people bow down and conform. I know I certainly have.

Flying Monkeys:

No one is born to follow.

None of us is born to follow. The adults in our lives may raise us that way. Moreover, we receive subliminal messages through the news and shows we watch and the material we read.

However, it’s up to us to dig deep and sort out the crap from the facts. Moreover, it’s also up to us whether to follow society’s standards or to follow our own path in life.

At the end of the day, we choose whether to live free or remain shackled to the whims of others. We decide whether to give in to bullies and peer pressure.

7. Flying monkeys don’t trust themselves to make their own decisions.

Why? They suffer from insecurity and lack the confidence to make their own decisions. So they take the easy way out and allow others to make decisions for them.

These types lack direction and are either easily bullied. Therefore, they allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. In essence, they are slaves to the whims of others.

8. They are lazy.

Those who are lazy don’t want to work for anything; they want everything done for them. Therefore, they’ll do anything to keep from having to work for anything, even if it means that they relinquish their personal freedom.

So, they rely on others or the system to provide for them instead of providing for themselves. However, what they don’t realize is that they open themselves up to being ordered around and told what to do.

They accept being told how they should live their lives. Even worse, they open themselves up to being abused and taken advantage of.

Understand that the rewards of compliance are only crumbs, and anything free comes at a price. And that price is often your independence and autonomy.

No one will give you anything free, and if you can’t repay them with material goods. However, you will repay them with services or with your personal freedom.

9. Flying monkeys need someone to hold their hand.

They’re little five-year-olds in adult bodies. Again, they don’t trust themselves to make good decisions because they fear they’ll fail. Therefore, they feel they must have someone else guide them through the maze of life.

They don’t understand that to give up responsibility for their own lives is to give away their power. And, in most cases, bullies only lead them off a cliff!

10. They are gullible.

They believe anything others tell them. Why? Because they can’t think for themselves, so they adopt others’ beliefs just to fit in and be accepted.

They’ll go with any narrative you give them. They allow themselves to be lied to and used for someone else’s purposes.

11. They are dependent.

They either can’t, think they can’t, or don’t know how to do anything for themselves. So they rely on an authority to provide all their wants and needs.

And to keep getting their wants and needs met, these sheople will bow down and submit to the will of the person supplying them, even at their own expense.

12. They are hopeless.

Many flying monkeys are incompetent and ineffective. They don’t believe in themselves and, deep down inside, feel powerless. On their own, they can’t do anything right.

Many feel that they’re failures, and sadly, many of them are. So, they look to a so-called leader to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is that by looking to this person, they only make themselves subject to that person.

13. Flying monkeys are slaves.

By exchanging their freedom for security, they become servants. By caving into peer pressure, they become beholden to bullies and abusers.

Having someone else do everything for you means being obligated to them. Totally obligated! And because they’re completely useless and can’t take care of themselves, they must have someone else to keep them up.

And anything the other person tells them to do, they will do. Why? Because they know that if they don’t obey, the benefits they’ve been enjoying will stop.

However, who’s to say that they won’t stop anyway? What if the person decides to cut the sheep off once they’ve served their purpose? Then what?

14. They are fearful.

They are believers of fearmongers. They’re also afraid that they might have to work for something. Thirdly, they’re afraid that if they don’t conform, the benefits they enjoy will be cut off.

They are easily intimidated by those in power, so they do everything they’re told to stay in the good graces of the person or people at the top. Everything they do is out of fear!

15. Blind loyalty.

Blind loyalty means being loyal without really knowing why. They may think they know why. But, do they?

Blind loyalty is to follow someone without question. In that, flying monkeys continue to follow them even when they misbehave or cause harm to others. Instead of looking at them with a critical eye, they prioritize the relationship over the truth.

Followers even place the relationship before their own well-being.

In Conclusion:

Here’s the thing that flying monkeys don’t realize or refuse to accept. Once they’ve served their purpose, the bully will discard them like used toilet paper. Why? Because they are only tools.

They think that they’re joining a group with a cause. They believe that they’re really a part of something cool or important. However, what is really happening is that they’re being used. And it’s sad. Again, flying monkeys are only tools – a means to an end.

This post is all about flying monkeys, their personality traits, and their purpose so that you can recognize them, protect yourself from them, and pity them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

2. Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

3. Tearing the Mask off the Bully: 3 Tools That Build Their Facade

4. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

female-on-male bullying at school

Female-on-Male Bullying: A Catch-22 No One Talks About

8 Comments

Female-on-male bullying is something people rarely discuss. Therefore, want to know all about it so that you can recognize it when it happens. Here’s everything you need to know.

female-on-male bullying

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not something we talk about. However, female-on-male bullying happens more than we know. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can recognize it when it happens.

Once you learn all about it, you will be able to call it out and stand up to it if you are a male who a female bullies.

This post is all about female-on-male bullying so that we can address the problem instead of burying it.

Female-on-Male Bullying

Here’s a reason why I believe that the term “toxic masculinity” is bogus.

Many times, you have a situation that most people ignore and almost no one talks about. And that is female bullying against male targets, and why society gives male targets a bum rap.

I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and heard about males being abused by vicious females. Boys and young men, who, under normal circumstances, are kind and caring but get pushed too far by their female tormentors.

And when they finally get enough of it, they strike back to defend themselves.

Females who Put Themselves in a Man’s Place.

Unfortunately, after suffering bullying for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point. The poor guy finally decides that enough is enough and hits the girl back after she hits him first. As a result, HE gets blamed simply because he is male.

The girl knows very well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that females are the weaker sex. Therefore, she uses it to her own advantage by playing the “woman card” and feigning victimhood. And she completes the act with crocodile tears, rationalization, and projecting blame onto her victim.

The conniving and cunning female also deceives by acting sweet and innocent in the presence of the right people. She is silver-tongued. She is a pro at spinning a convincing story to deceive authority while demonizing her male target, all to avoid being held responsible.

The male target is actually a great guy with good morals, values, and ethics. However, to bystanders and the authorities, he is just another punk who goes around beating up on girls.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

The Catch-22

So, he ends up either suspended/expelled from school or arrested and charged with a crime, while his female bully looks on with a smirk of gratification. She then escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. Thus, the cycle continues.

However, let’s say that the young man doesn’t hit her back. He only restrains her to protect himself; he will still be dehumanized and punished because he laid hands on her.

Yes. You read this correctly. If someone physically attacks you and you restrain them, you can STILL go to jail. It will be as if you delivered the first punch because your hands were touching the person. It is impossible to restrain anyone without touching them.

This is just a sad example of how completely backward the rules and laws in this country really are.

The Second Catch 22

Let’s say that a young man is being bullied relentlessly at school by a girl or a group of girls. The girls have harassed this boy for many years. And, during this time, he is the bigger person and walks away instead of fighting back.

The other boys also laugh at him and make fun of him, calling him a wimp because he refuses to “hit a girl.” They feminize him by calling him names, such as “wuss”, “pussy”, “bitch-boy”, to attack him and strip away his masculinity.

And when the guy does the wise thing and reports the bullying, they tell him to “man up” or “toughen up.” And the other boys only shame him for being a “whiner”, “crybaby,” or “tattle tale”.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

What happens when being the bigger person doesn’t work?

Then, the young boy finally gets sick of the mistreatment, and walking away doesn’t work. This is what happens. He snaps at one of the girls and batters her until her lip and nose are bleeding. Now, all hell breaks loose!

Why? Because he goes from being labeled a wimp to being viewed as a punk who gets his jollies by beating up on females. Therefore, he can’t win no matter what he does!

So, authority members suspend, expel, or arrest him for assault and battery. Also, the other boys now want to jump him because he hit a girl.

As a result, the targeted guy, although a victim, is now marginalized by the system, which is supposed to protect him. But what other recourse does he have after he’s tried everything to defend himself and make the harassment stop?

The Moral Decline in Females.

My purpose is to open a few eyes and let society know that girls do sometimes bully boys. Women bully more and more men. Females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history, due to the significant moral decline of girls.

However, understand that this article does not apply to male bullies, who go around physically or psychologically harming females. It applies only to innocent male victims, who only want to be left in peace and live an everyday life like everyone else.

If two men are at odds with each other and resort to fisticuffs, they usually end up later patching things up. And they will go somewhere to have a beer together. Not so with women.

If two women get into an altercation, they are likely to hold onto their hatred. A woman is like a dog with a bone. She will cling tightly to her grudge against her rival until the heavens come crashing down.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Male Victims Have it the Worst.

I’m a woman myself, and I know firsthand that when it comes to evil, women and girls can be the most vicious of the sexes! In most cases of bullying, victims who are male get a bum rap! We must bring this to light!

It’s high time that we wise up to these females and expose their misdeeds to as many people as possible. Not all girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Female bullies are sneakier. They’re better at going undetected than male bullies. Granted, there are always exceptions, but this is true for the most part.

Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying, and females lean more toward bullying of the psychological variety.

Female Bullies:

Most females are passive-aggressive and commit much of their bullying on a psychological level. Again, thanks to radical feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering—attacking the targets’ relationships. Girls and women use smear campaigns, gossip, rumors, and witch hunts. These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against the victim.

Girls and women also use projection. In other words, they all project their own shortcomings onto their victim. Bullies do have flaws, and their greatest fear is you exposing them. Projection is the best way to hide their own imperfections.

Female bullies will use distraction. They distract others’ attention away from their provocation onto the victim’s reaction to it.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Psychological bullying includes exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors, and lies. Also, it can consist of thievery, invasion of the target’s privacy, and destruction of the target’s property and relationships.

If this does not work, they may then resort to violence, although not as often as male bullies. If females want to cause bodily harm to their target, they are more likely to persuade someone else to do the violence for them.

They may send a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend to catch the target alone and physically assault them. Moreover, they get them to comply by offering incentives.

These girls may offer illicit sex to their male friends to get them to do what they want. On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion in their clique and the chance to climb the social ladder.

These bullies may also offer money.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Female bullies love to tear down your relationships.

By instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women to maintain relationships, especially family and romantic ones. Many young girls plan to get married eventually and have families of their own.

Thus, female bullies aim to sabotage the victim’s relationships. Again, most girls and women dream of finding a mate and having children from a young age.

Why? Because they have an instinct to nurture. Females are usually the family’s caretakers and homekeepers.

Slut-Shaming

Therefore, it should not be any surprise that female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floozy’, and other names that attack femininity and virtues.

Moreover, anytime females call another young lady one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Therefore, here’s the hidden meaning.

It’s that you are not marriageable. Female bullies deem you unworthy of a mate or children, and you are not considered to be a woman.

Female-on-Male Bullies:

Male bullies:

Because nature has hardwired most males to be hunters and gatherers, guys tend to be more physical. And why not? Back during prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring home the food to feed their families.

Often, they had to fight off wild animals and men from other groups to survive. Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression.

People expect young men to be strong and tough…to display manhood. Therefore, if the target is another male, the boy bully will not only use his fists, but will also try to feminize their target by repetitively emasculating him.

In closing

If females bully a male victim, it’s even worse for that victim. Again, if he defends himself, society will automatically accuse him of being the aggressor. If he walks away from her, society will accuse him of being a weakling.

Therefore, this puts male victims in a trap that they can’t escape from.

This post was all about male-on-female bullying so that you can learn all about the unique effects and circumstances that male victims suffer.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Male bullying vs Female bullying

2. Male vs Female Bullying

3. Bullying Statistics Male vs Female: How Males and Females Bully

4. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

5. A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

Social Bullying: Clever Ways to Protect Yourself from It

8 Comments

‘Want to know all about social bullying and smart ways to protect yourself from bullies who are destroying your social life? Here are all the details you need to know about.

social bullying

In this post, you will learn all about social bullying and how to protect yourself if it happens to you.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to buffer yourself from the effects of social bullying.

This post is all about social bullying and steps you can take to protect yourself from it so that your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit.

Social Bullying

Social bullying is one of the worst kinds of bullying. Why? Because bullies not only attack you as a person, they also attack your existing relationships and undermine your ability to make friends.

Social bullies use tactics like gossip, spreading rumors, and launching smear campaigns to destroy your reputation. By putting you down in front of others, they cast you in a bad light.

Understand that social damage equals emotional pain and weakened self-esteem. However, if you’re a target of bullying, you can protect your social life! And there are many steps you can take to do it.

So, you must learn those steps and do everything possible to protect your social life. And when you do, you automatically protect your emotional health.

Here’s how you can protect your social life from relational bullies.

Follow these steps, and you’ll take the sting out of the bullying you suffer. And, you’ll safeguard your self-esteem, reputation, and your social life.

1. Establish relationships and make friends outside the bullying environment.

In other words, if you’re being bullied at school, make friends with kids who do not attend your school. If people bully you at work, make friends, and forge relationships with people outside your place of work.

When you establish connections outside the bullying environment, you do so in a safe place, away from your bullies. You don’t have to worry about bullies coming in behind you and influencing these people.

Therefore, you can make allies more safely and effectively.

2. Maintain distance from your classmates or coworkers.

The further away you stay from toxic people, the safer you’ll be. So, keep your distance. However, this doesn’t mean they won’t try to hunt you down. Some people are sick in the head.

But you will lessen your chances of encountering them.

3. Social Bullying:

Realize that your bullies, coworkers, and classmates aren’t the most important people in your life.

They’re not the only people in the world who’ve ever known you or will know you in the future. They’re the only group of people whose views of you are based on lies and false information.

So, realize these people should matter the least to you. Your friends and positive relationships are outside that toxic environment, and more positive relationships will come. I promise you!

“But how do you forge new relationships and social networks elsewhere?” You ask.

4. join interest groups, places of worship, clubs, communities, organizations, and classes.

For instance, you’re bullied in school. Although your classmates may intensely hate you, you can join a scout troop or a martial arts class.  Therefore, you will likely be very well-liked by all the kids there.

You may be ostracized at the workplace. However, you can join the American Legion if you are a veteran. You can also join a group at your church or a music club if you’re into music. And you can find wonderful friends and a supportive network there.

Also, you can also advocate for a cause, take an art class, or join a music club.

Just don’t tell anyone what you’re going through at school or at work. That stays where it belongs, in the bullying environment.

Take time for them to get to know you. The only places appropriate for bringing up what’s happening at work are religious and therapy groups.

But feel everyone out first. The goal is not to find a place to dump all your problems but to find one where you’re valued and respected.

5. Social Bullying:

Fake it.

Appear calm and confident even when you feel like you’re about to fall apart. Only talk honestly with your most trusted.

The last thing you want is to allow your bullies to see that they’ve gotten the best of you. Why? Because you’ll, in essence, only give them the psychological rewards they’re looking for.

As a result, they will bully you worse to get more of those rewards.

6. Don’t vent nor gossip.

Why? Because you will look as bad as your bullies. You’ll also look unstable. Distance yourself from your bullies.

They might notice it and accuse you of being stuck up or standoffish. However, what they think shouldn’t matter. Why? Because your focus is self-care.

And practicing self-care is of the utmost importance when you’re a target of bullying.

7. Social Bullying:

Befriend others who are bullied.

The old saying that “birds of a feather flock together” rings true. The Law of Similarity dictates that to find good friendships, you must establish common ground.

Understand that those who share similar experiences are more likely to develop close friendships. Humans are naturally drawn to those who share commonality.

Making friends means finding like-minded people to bond with. And nothing bonds humans like a shared contempt for the same things, people, and groups.

Therefore, developing connections with other targets is not only necessary but wise.

When you find others who the same bullies have bullied, it confirms that you aren’t alone in the fight. Additionally, it’s a juicy opportunity to make friends and allies.

But that’s not all! It reinforces the fact that you are not a bad person. It says that, despite what bullies and most others have told you, you can make friends.

It sends the message that you are a likable person and automatically discredits your bullies. Therefore, having friends who share the same experiences is a real self-esteem booster.

And these new friends might back you up the next time your bullies come looking for trouble.

Commonalities Attract

When targets unite, they share a sense of sameness and are therefore least likely to conflict with one another. Each target in the group finally feels understood.

Case in point, sameness will always attract people to one another. People tend to become friends with those most like themselves.

When you begin associating with others that the bullies have targeted, you immediately establish common ground. It is this common ground that quickly develops rapport.

Social Bullying:

A “Target Rich Environment”

If you’re a target of bullying and you find it difficult to make friends, you can create a “target-rich environment” for yourself by staying among other targets.

I cannot say this enough- we develop the best friendships with those who resemble us the most. We’re attracted to people with the same desires and pursuits.

If you can find common ground, developing a positive relationship will be a cake walk!

So, how do you know that there’s common ground before you even talk to the person?

You start by noticing how the person dresses. Are there any similarities? If the person is wearing a T-shirt with the logo or picture of a rock group you like, there’s a shared interest.

Moreover, if they only have a slight interest in the group, you, at least, share a love of rock and roll music.

What a person is doing also gives clues. Also, their posture gives many tells.

For example, if a person is sitting alone at the lunch table, slumps in their chair, and doesn’t interact much with others, you know they have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem comes from bullying and abuse.

So, don’t be afraid to go over and talk to them. You might be the friend they’re looking for!

8. Social Bullying:

Seek to Be A friend and not only to make one.

Zig Ziglar once quoted,

“If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

Therefore, make friends for the right reasons and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results! You must be a friend before you can meet one.

9. Be Approachable.

Before you can make friends, you must also be approachable. How you do this is to smile and stand up straight. Never slump when standing, and don’t hunch in your chair when sitting.

Make good eye contact and be interested in others. Look confident. Talk to strangers by making small talk.

Also, take pride in your appearance. When you look good, you feel good.

10. Stop Caring what others think. 

Once you stop caring about others’ opinions, you will be bullied less and less until it finally stops altogether. And it will happen like magic!

Why? Because people will notice that you don’t care anymore. And when you don’t care, you’ll no longer react when they bully you.

Social Bullying:

In Conclusion

Making friends when you’re bullied and suffer social aggression is easier than you think. I’m living proof because I know from experience. As a result, I’ve gone from being bullied to being loved and respected.

My only regret is that I didn’t have this knowledge when I was in school.

This post was all about social bullying and the steps you can take to protect yourself from relational bullies so that you can begin enjoying friendships and close connections.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

2. Relational Aggression: 12 Must-Know Reasons Bullies Use It

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

4. How to Make Friends When You Have None at School or at Work  

5. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know

16 Comments

Want to know all the different types of bullying you’ll possibly encounter throughout life? Here are all the types, sub-types, and categories you need to know.

types of bullying

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re a victim of bullying, chances are that you don’t only suffer one particular type of bullying. You likely suffer from many different kinds.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the different types of bullying, including categories and subtypes.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you will be better able to protect yourself and tailor your defense to each type.

This post is all about the types of bullying so that you will be able to recognize different kinds of bullying when they happen to you.

Types of Bullying

Bullying comes in many forms. Let’s discuss the categories first, and then we will get into the types.

Categories

The categories of bullying depend on the setting in which it occurs. In other words, where it happens. For instance, people can bully you at school, on the job, or at home.

1. School Bullying

School bullying happens at school, and mostly children and teens are victims.

Types of bullying in school.

The most common kind that occurs in school is physical bullying. Because children’s minds are still developing, they are more likely to attack their victims physically.

School bullies also target children who are smaller, weaker, and have few to no friends.

However, as they get older, they learn better ways to hide their behavior. Therefore, they later avoid physical bullying and lean more toward social, emotional, cyber, and psychological bullying.

If you are bullied in school, students and teachers may bully you. Moreover, it may negatively impact your grades and class performance. School bullying destroys the mental health of millions of children and teens every day.

2. Types of Bullying:

Workplace Bullying

This kind of bullying happens at work. If you suffer from this type of aggression, you may be bullied by coworkers and supervisors. Bullying at work includes exclusion, sabotage, and the blocking of opportunities.

Moreover, you may also suffer verbal abuse, gaslighting, and people may send you nasty emails. Understand that workplace bullying is designed to destroy your self-esteem and destroy your job and career prospects.

3. Family Bullying

This type of bullying happens at home. For instance, an abusive husband may bully his wife, or an older sibling may bully the younger.

No matter who does it or who the bullying is aimed at, it is heartbreaking to those who suffer it.

4. Neighborhood Bullying

This kind of bullying happens in the neighborhood. Maybe you have a neighbor who is disabled and acts differently from others. You might see other neighbors bullying that person because they are different.

I’ve seen this happen to a few people myself, and it was painful to watch. And I can tell you that it was agonizing for them.

Nevertheless, if you are a victim, the best way to overcome it is to relocate to a safer area, if you can afford to do so.

5. Types of Bullying:

Intimate Relationship Bullying

This happens when one partner bullies the other. For instance, you have spousal abuse, dating violence, or intimate partner abuse. Whether the couple is married or just dating, abuse is abuse and bullying is abuse.

Therefore, if you are dating and your partner abuses you, it’s so crucial that you end the relationship. Why? Because once you marry this person, getting out of the relationship will be expensive.

Types:

The types of bullying depend on the kind of tactics bullies employ. For instance, do they bully you physically or psychologically?

1. Physical Bullying

This kind of bullying happens when the bully makes direct contact with the victim’s body to cause bodily injury. Physical bullies may punch or kick you. They may also choke you, pull your hair, or shove you. They may even trip you or deliberately run into you in the hall and pretend it was an accident.

Destroying your personal property also falls into this category.

Understand that no one has the right to put their hands on you. So, if anyone raises a hand to you, you have the right to hit them back. It’s the only way your bullies will keep their hands to themselves.

2. Types of Bullying:

Verbal BULLYING

Verbal bullying can be done openly through bursts of rage, overt personal attacks, name-calling, and threats of physical violence. Open verbal bullying aims to strike fear in you.

It also seeks to make it clear to you that the bully is controlling you and that you’d better acquiesce, or the bully will hurt you. Moreover, it dares you to protest against it or defend yourself. In open bullying, bullies instill terror in bystanders as well by making you the example.

Why do most bullies bully you with words? They do it to discourage, disrespect, and devalue you. Also, they attack you with words to diminish your confidence and self-esteem.

3. Non-Verbal Bullying

Many bullies use body language to bully you. For example, they may give you a threatening look from across a crowded room. Maybe one of them looks at you and makes the slitting throat gesture to let you know what you can expect later.

You may ask, “Why do bullies use gestures? Why don’t they just come out and say it directly?”

The reason seasoned bullies prefer facial expressions and gestures is that they are silent and less detectable to others. In other words, it’s just a sneakier way for them to try to intimidate you without getting caught or in trouble.

4. Types of Bullying:

 psychological bullying

Why do the best and most seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying? Because this type of harassment offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to others outside the bully-victim dynamic. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

Therefore, you have no proof that any bullying ever took place. The bullies can easily deny any incidents if you get fed up and report them.

Moreover, it’s easy for them to make you look bad if you call them out. Afterward, the bullies can brand you as mentally unstable.

Then they can destroy your credibility, reputation, and relationships as a form of retaliation. And the best part for them is that they can continue and escalate the harassment later.

5. Social Bullying (Sometimes Called Relational Aggression)

Social bullies are like obsessive exes who won’t allow you to move on from the hurt. You know the type- an ex who claims they don’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.

Bullies use social bullying to lower your social standing, isolate you, and wreck your existing friendships and relationships to wield power over you. Social bullying tactics include exclusion, rumors, gossip, and smear campaigns.

These tactics are designed to decrease your popularity and destroy your reputation. If bullies succeed at these things, then they can have more power over you. Remember that any form of bullying is about power.

Therefore, social bullies gain power over you by ruining your connections with others.

6. Types of Bullying:

Cyber-Bullying

Cyber-bullying is bullying through electronics, such as smartphones, computers, and the internet. The tactics include sending you mean private messages and posting negative social media posts about you.

Also, other methods include sending you harassing text messages, creating embarrassing memes about you, or posting humiliating photos of you without your consent.

In severe cases, bullies can dox you and find out your personal information, such as your home address, phone number, and place of employment. They can either go so far as to find the names of your family members and make them public for other bullies and nefarious actors.

Subtypes

Each type of bullying, such as verbal bullying, has different subtypes. For instance, using sarcasm is considered passive-aggressive, verbal bullying.

1. Passive-Aggressive Bullying

Passive-aggressive bullying is one of the most cowardly forms. When these types of bullies insult you, they’re slick about it. These types of bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. You won’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.

But the bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. Passive-aggressive attacks include sarcasm, zingers, digs, and sneak dissing.

In fact, sneak dissing is the most common form of passive-aggression. It’s the kind of attack where the bully talks about you without naming you.

And they usually do it where you can hear. But, at the same time, they hope it flies right over your head or that you won’t have the guts to clap back. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you.

2. Types of Bullying:

Passive BULLYING

Passive bullying is cowardly, too. Passive attacks include exclusion and withholding information. Passive bullies may also quietly sabotage your work, give you the silent treatment, or avoid eye contact.

This type of bullying is the most difficult to spot.

3. Bullying By-Proxy

Bullying by proxy is when bullies recruit and send others to bully you on their behalf. When you think of by-proxy bullying, think “flying monkeys.”

When someone bullies on behalf of a lead bully, they are being used as a stand-in. Why? Because the real bully doesn’t have the stones to confront you.

4. Covert Bullying (Subtle Bullying)

Covert or subtle bullying is the kind that happens behind the scenes. Gossiping behind your back would be a form of covert bullying.

Smear campaigns and social/relational bullying are also kinds of covert bullying. Subtle bullies also set you up to be humiliated or jumped.

Again, these people bully behind closed doors. They silently plot and plan behind your back. Then they blindside you with something horrible.

5. Types of Bullying:

Overt Bullying 

Overt bullying happens out in the open. Physical bullying is overt. Verbal bullying that involves yelling and cursing is also overt.

Bullies often bully overtly because they’re either not afraid of being caught or they fear no consequences. Bullying usually starts covertly but becomes overt once the bullies have gotten away with it for so long.

6. Group Bullying (Mobbing)

Group bullying is when a large mob of people gang up on one person. This kind of bullying is also called mobbing. The tactics can include all forms, from social bullying to physical.

7. Bullying By Teachers and school Staff

This kind of bullying happens to children and teens. Teachers and school staff may begin bullying a young student after other kids have bullied them for years.

The student’s reputation has been destroyed and teachers have often heard repeated lies and vicious rumors. And they believe them. Therefore, they join in on abusing the student.

This post is about all the types of bullying so that you will be able to recognize each one when it happens to you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Covert Bullying Examples: 7 Must-Know Tactics Covert Bullies Use

2. Verbal Bullying

3.  Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

Sowing Discord: A Powerful Weapon of the Social Bully

4 Comments

‘Want to know the psychological payoffs bullies get from sowing discord between you and others? Here’s why it’s such a powerful weapon and how you can protect yourself from it.

sowing discordGossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. It has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about sowing discord and why it’s such a powerful weapon for the social bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to recognize what your bullies are doing and call it out when it happens to you.

This post is all about sowing discord and the tactics social bullies use so that you can recognize them right away and call them out. 

Sowing Discord

Many bullies sow discord through gossip. The purpose of gossip is to control your status by demoting you in the social hierarchy.

Another purpose of gossip is to justify any abuse by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve respect, dignity, or humanity, but only abuse and hostility.

 And once others think you deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

The more you stir shit, the more it stinks.

Bullies are notorious for sowing discord among other people. They can’t seem to get enough drama. In fact, they thrive on it. Have you ever wondered why?

Here are the reasons:

It’s to keep the spotlight off themselves and their despicable behavior and dirty dealings. Often, they do it as a distraction. If the bullies can stir the pot and keep others at each other’s throats, they can keep people focused on that rather than on them.

Therefore, the bullies get to look like gods and be untouchable.

Also, bullies get cheap thrills from watching others tear each other down. Trust me, bullies love that stuff! Bullies use appearances to look better than they really are. And the more they can stir it up and make it stink, the better they smell.

Remember this the next time you see bullies trying to instigate hatred between other people. Also, remember this the next time bullies try to instigate a fight between you and a former friend, or between another classmate or coworker.

Sowing Discord is a powerful Distraction.

Understand that this is done in politics all the time. In fact, it’s what the media is best at. It is called the Divide-and-Conquer strategy. And it’s used to sow discord among people. And sadly, it works.

The next time someone tries to turn you against a friend or tries to turn a friend against you, ask yourself. Who would the division benefit most? You, your friend, or the instigator?

Gossip

Not only do gossip and smears lower your social standing, but they also benefitanother way. Additionally, it tightens their group connections. It confers higher status on those privy to negative information.

Moreover, it sets expectations and norms within the group for how they should treat you.

Through petty talk, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social infrastructures. Gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

While using it, the group will foster justification for hostility. Therefore, no one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and say they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

People tell others to keep it a secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any new information and updates about you.

Realize that gossip reinforces bullies’ perceptions that their views and treatment of you are correct.

Sowing Discord:

What Gossipers do to cover their gossip.

Gossipers will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt. They begin their sentences with things like,

  • “I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
  • “Poor thing…”
  • “Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that you’re a human being. However, they’ll only do it because it gives them the green light to keep talking. Also, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

Reputation doesn’t equal Character, but it can affect your life.

Indeed, reputation doesn’t equal character. But it can affect life. Bullies and toxic people are aware of this.

Understand that the rumors may, in fact, be false. And there may be zero credible evidence to back them up.

But if pure speculation best fits the bullies’ goals, that’s what they will go along with.

In the late stages, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators. Gossip brings scandal. It means to assassinate your character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a human being.

Anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated, so this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if you attempt to defend yourself or speak out against the abuse, they will find ways to use it against you. They will even resort to gaslighting.

Sowing Discord:

Gossip Escalates.

Once gossip reaches the late stage, the only way to ensure your safety is to leave the toxic environment. In other words, you must go to a new place where you can start anew, establish new connections, and reinvent yourself.

Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me.” In reality, he was a great kid. However, because of lies and gossip, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Do you remember the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy? He told him about how he got his bad name and wished he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal.

However, they were able to blame him for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

Sadly, that happens a lot. In most cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and rebuild their lives.

Rumors and Lies Breed False Memories

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories. These details have a way of being inserted into people’s memories.

There have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun.

Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose. They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. They actually “remember” seeing it.

And the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much. And it caused their brains to fill in the blanks with the details they heard.

Another reason for false memories is that when bullies ask questions such as,

  • “Did you see her do this?”
  • “Did you hear him say that?”

They only suggest that she did do this, or that he did say that —Power of Suggestion at work.

Sowing Discord:

Influencing OTHERS Memories

It’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations.

People see what they expect to see. Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations —what they expect the target to do, not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistaken and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

Baiting Others to Attack you.

If you already have a bad reputation, your bullies may pick some random person. Then they’ll look at you, pointing to them, and say, “I think this guy’s madly in love with you!”

To save their own reputation, the person will insult you to prove that they don’t like you either. And they’ll do it to fit in.

They may say, “Hell no! I can’t stand that creep!” Or, they may say, “No way! Not that whore!”

Therefore, they will insult you to make a point. Do you see what the bullies did? They baited the other person to bully you, too. This is just another slick way of sowing discord between you and others. And it works like a charm.

Sowing Discord:

Playing Messenger

If you are already having trouble with another person, your bullies may fan the flames to make the situation worse. For instance, the person may be giving you trouble because they want to fit in with the bullies.

You may be angry and embarrassed. You may tell your friend what a piece of garbage the person is. And your bullies may eavesdrop on your conversation. As a result, they overhear it and run back to the other person with what you just said about them.

And the next thing you know, the person you are into it with wants to fight you for running your mouth behind their back. Never mind that you were confiding in your closest friend.

The bullies will conveniently leave that part out. It won’t matter that you were only getting stuff off your chest and confiding in a friend.

The only thing that will matter is that you said something bad about them. And now, they want to get even with you for it.

When you know the many ways people try to sow discord and instigate drama, you’ll be one step ahead.

This post was all about sowing discord and the many tactics bullies use to do it, so you know what to expect and how to call it out.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Instigation: 3 Ways Bullies Sow Discord Between You and Others

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

3. Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You

4. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

5. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person 

blaming the victim definition

Blaming the Victim: Reasons Bullies Make You-Statements.

4 Comments

‘Want to know how bullies go about blaming the victim? Here are all the signs to look for.

blaming the victim

Have you noticed how bullies always seem to make “you” statements? You this, and you that; “you always” this, and “you never” that. You, you, you!

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recognize blaming the victim so that you can adequately respond when your bullies try to blame you for their atrocious behavior.

Once you learn all this crucial information, you will be a pro at recognizing victim-blaming when you see it.

This post is all about blaming the victim so that you can avoid taking blame for behavior that isn’t your fault.

Blaming the Victim

“You made me mad!” “You made me hit you!” The thing is, these statements are so transparent and so telling.

They speak volumes about the bullies and nothing about you. Why? Because they are hallmarks of the typical abuser- accusation and blame.

Here are a few common you-statements bullies make.

  • “You lie all the time!”
  • “You always bitch and complain about everything!”
  • “You’re (clueless, ugly, mentally imbalanced, a liar, a wuss, etc.)!”
  • “You can’t leave well enough alone!”
  • “You’re a chicken!”
  • “You couldn’t find your ass with both hands!”
  • “You’ll never amount to anything!”
  • “You just keep pushing it!”
  • “You’re always trying to start something!”
  • “You always blow everything out of proportion!”
  • “You bring it all on yourself!”
  • “You always have to screw everything up!”

And the list is endless.

Blaming the Victim:

Bullies will always point the finger at you. Expect it.

Know that these you-statements are designed to blame you for their shameless behavior. Also, bullies blame you to tear you down and keep you there.

Bullies make these you-statements to strip you of your rights to defend yourself. They do it to take away your personal power.

Therefore, you must counter those accusations and turn them back on the bully. How to do this is by simply saying, “No, I’m not, YOU are!” or “No, I don’t! YOU do!” Then dismiss the bully and walk away.

The bully might argue back, but the important thing is that you’ve made your point. And you walk away, leaving the bully standing there, running their mouth. In that, you make them look both desperate and foolish.

“You Made me” and “You Make Me” Statements

Survivors, when you were bullied, did your bully ever justify their horrific treatment?  Did they make statements such as, “You ‘made me’ do it!”?

I’ll bet that you have. Bullies often make the following statements to justify their behavior and intimidate you into staying silent.

  • “You ‘made me’ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
  • “You ‘make’ people want to hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me’ hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me’ mad!”
  • “You make me hate you!”

These are all statements bullies use to gaslight you. They want to brainwash you into believing that their behavior is your fault.

They need you to believe that you somehow provoke them to act the way they do. That you made them lash out.

Blaming the Victim:

Personal Experience

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard these kinds of accusations from my classmates. And I must admit, it was very hurtful and intimidating.

However, I look back now and realize this was only my bullies’ way of shifting the blame onto me. Why?

Because they were so afraid that I would call them out on their terrible behavior. And they were scared that others would see them for the creeps they truly were. They also wanted to maintain the upper hand.

The keywords in these sentences are either “you,” “made,” or “make,” and they are very telling if you really stop and think about it.

There are many reasons bullies resort to blaming the victim.

Blaming the Victim:

Organized Physical Attacks.

Organized physical attacks may also be used in school to blame you for their abuse. What do I mean? Here it is.

They may stage fights with you and other people. This is designed to bait you. For instance, they may go to the others and tell them that you said something bad about them. And you probably didn’t. In fact, you probably don’t know the person.

Nevertheless, you have people you don’t know confronting you and threatening physical harm. And, sooner or later, one of them attacks you. Then, a week later, another person physically assaults you.

A month later, another person jumps you. And these attacks repeat themselves until people begin looking at you with suspicion. Why? Because the fights always seem to involve you.

Others can’t help but think, “Why would so many people want to junk Jackie is she isn’t provoking them somehow?”

But! If nothing else, understand this right now! That’s the idea! If you are in this kind of predicament, this is precisely what your bullies were counting on! It was the plan all along!

But why? What do your bullies hope to gain from this?

1. To Destroy your credibility

If they can get different individuals at different times to physically attack you, they can cast suspicion on you. Moreover, they can turn even your friends against you. If you’re the one who’s always fighting, you look like the violent one.

This happens regularly to targets in schools, workplaces, and communities. Many times, this is how bullies retaliate against victims who have the gall to stand up to them.

Bullies hate it when you begin refusing to take their abuse.

2. Blaming the Victim:

To protect one another

Bullies run in packs, and they usually single out only one person. There is strength in numbers. Therefore, they do it to protect one another from being labeled and getting a bad reputation. Also, they blame you to stay out of trouble.

Most who have been in school have at least gotten into two fights, which sounds perfectly normal. However, too many fights, provoked or unprovoked, risk labeling victims as “troublemakers.”

3. to destroy your reputation with those in authority.

Destroying your name with the staff lessens any chances of anyone listening to you if you report the bullying. Bullies can’t risk you running and “snitching” on them.

Therefore, this protects them from discipline at school or work. Moreover, it allows them the freedom to do whatever they want to you whenever they feel like it.

So, they also use this tactic to silence you and make you afraid to report the bullying.

If you are a victim of bullying, expect those kinds of tactics. But understand that these are classic methods bullies use to shift the blame your way.

It also prevents them from losing power over you.  If they can bully you freely, without the possibility of facing consequences, then you’re completely powerless.

4. Blaming the Victim:

To shift everyone’s focus from their actions to your reactions.

This is also a classic bully move. Anytime you call attention to their disgusting behavior, your bullies try to distract others’ attention to the way you reacted to it.

And they do this to make you ashamed of defending yourself. Moreover, they want you to doubt your own judgment.

Bullying thrives on secrecy. Therefore, bullies point out your reaction, hoping that you’ll shut your mouth.

5. Trivializing Your pain.

“It’s not that bad.” “Aw! It’s not the end of the world.” How many gave you one of these responses when you reported bullying and abuse or spoke out about it?

Understand that bullies say these things to trivialize your pain. Therefore, don’t fall for that garbage! Your bullies aren’t the ones on the receiving end of the abuse. You are!

Again, don’t let them gaslight you! 

6. Blaming the Victim:

Suggesting that  you had it coming.

Lots of times, when bullies abuse you, they’ll tell you that you had it coming. It’s just another way to say that you made them do it.

They’ll make statements, such as,

  • “You had it coming for a long time and you finally got it!”
  • “You asked for it.”
  • “You were cruisin’ for a bruisin’”

All you-statements. However, you must see all this for what it is. It’s all a way for your bullies to justify their abuse.

Think about this. If they can make you look like you asked for it, then they get off Scot free. Moreover, they can make themselves look like innocent victims who were only reacting to something you did.

7. Implying that you must have provoked the bully.

This is usually done by witnesses and authority members who side with bullies. For example, you’re bullied at school and you report it to the principal. The principal then asks you, “What did you do to make that boy attack you?”

Sadly, school staff tend to take the bully’s side and blame the victim.

8. Blaming the Victim:

Asking you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.

School staff and workplace managers are also guilty of this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”

If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put it off on you. Don’t let them do it!

Call them out on it! Let them know that you see through it and you won’t accept blame for anyone else’s deplorable behavior but your own! And when you say it, mean it.

And there’s always a way to bust the bullies who try to shift blame onto you this way:

Counter the bully’s “you made me ” statement and say this: “No! I didn’t make you do a damn thing! You did that all on your own!”

Say it point-blank and with conviction. If possible, say it in front of an audience. Call the bully out, and more than likely, you’ll protect your good name from being further tarnished.

This post was all about blaming the victim and the different tactics so that you will know what to expect and protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.  Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

5. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers 

when bullies lose power over you in school

When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

6 Comments

What happens when bullies lose power over you? Discover 3 things that happen when bullies realize they can no longer control you.

when bullies lose power over you

In this post, you will learn what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you’ll know what to expect.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will be better equipped to prepare for your bullies’ reactions and protect yourself from any reprisals.

This post is all about what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you can be ready for anything they throw at you.

When Bullies Lose Power

When you take back your power, bullies react in various ways. This is because they feel a sense of dismissal or rejection when you stop letting them control you.

Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they consider inferior. That’s a blow to the ego like no other!

When you finally dismiss a bully, oh my goodness! They lose it! Why? Because they thought for so long that you were too weak to stand up to them.

Therefore, the minute you finally stood your ground, you snatched your power back and left the bully powerless over you! And now the bully must go through the headache of finding a new target! Gasp!

1. If a bully cannot control you, they will attempt to control how others see you.

There are several reasons they do this. Number 1, they’re afraid that you’ll tell others the truth about them, so they do it to cover their backsides.

Number 2, they do it to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself.  And number 3, to close you off from any human connection and therefore, any protection.

Bullies know that if they can isolate you, they can reclaim their narrative. They can cut off any protection you might receive, then you are theirs for the taking, and they can move in for the kill.

Now, they can do with you whatever they choose, freely and with impunity. Why? Because if everyone is against you, the less likely they are to help you. Think about it. If everyone else is against you, then, in their minds, you deserve what’s happening to you.

Therefore, they will try to turn others against you.

Bullies want to, figuratively, hold you hostage. And they will resort to any means necessary to keep you “in your place.”

2. When Bullies Lose Power:

They will use physical violence if nothing else works.

Bullies will commit their violence either by assaulting you themselves or sending someone else to do it for them. This does not mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself, because you should.

However, when you do, be prepared. The torment may get worse before it gets better. But be strong. Be brave and know that it isn’t your fault.

3. The power dynamic shifts in your favor

Anytime you stand up to a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. In other words, you immediately reclaim your personal power. Moreover, you put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority.

You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle rejection. They feel that they must always be in a position of power in the bully/victim relationship.

A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them is someone they’ve grown accustomed to having power over, it makes them livid.

You must realize the reason for this. This is because you’re likely at the bottom of the pecking order. So, when you finally buck up and stand up to a bully, you, figuratively, trade places with the bully and put them on the bottom, if only for that moment.

When bullies lose power over you, here are their unspoken messages:

  • “How dare you!”
  • “Who is this phlegm-wad to stand up to me? ME!
  • “This piece of scum is supposed to be under me, and here she is talking to me and acting like she’s OVER me! Oh no! This can’t happen!
  • Who does this loser think she is!”
  • “The nerve of that &#$%!”
  • “She’s making trouble, and now I’ve got to really act out to put her back under me where she belongs!”

Bullies need raw power!

Understand that bullies rely on fear, overwhelming strength, and coercion to get what they want. And they’ve been steamrolling you for so long that they’ve become quite arrogant and self-satisfied.

Do you know what happens when you’ve finally had enough of their gas and set your foot down? You will throw them off balance. And do you know what else you’ll do?

You’ll blast a huge hole in their ego and shock the hell out of them. And trust me when I tell you. Your bullies will become highly pissed!

In fact, they’ll become so angry that they’ll go from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. If the bully has narcissistic personality disorder (and most bullies do), they will go into a rage.

When bullies lose power over you, be prepared for anything.

If you are a victim of bullying and you finally grow a spine, your bullies will do anything they can to break it. They will escalate the bullying when you first stop accepting it.

Therefore, when you tell bullies to kick rocks, you undermine their perceived superiority over you. Again, bullies have delicate egos. And when the ego is at stake, people will act out.

Bullies are very prideful, and their pride takes a massive blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than be made inferior, especially to their targets.

4. They become vindictive.

Bullies despise boundaries. When you stand up to your bullies, be prepared for a battle of wills. Your bullies will seek revenge, and they won’t stop coming after you until they get it.

Realize that they don’t care if they’re the ones who’ve mistreated you all these years. And they don’t care how you’ve suffered.

The only thing they are thinking about at this moment is that you challenged their superiority and authority. In their eyes, you are a victim and nothing else. In other words, you are beneath them.

And, still! You had the nerve to undermine them and make them look like punks. Now you must pay a price for it. This is how bullies think.

But don’t let that stop you from defending yourself, no matter what. You have a right to safety and to be treated with dignity.

You must do what you must to protect yourself.

If the bullying becomes too much to deal with, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment. Realize that leaving is not running. It’s not being fearful or “chicken.” It’s self-care, it’s smarts, and it’s self-preservation.

You must do what you must to protect not only your physical health, but also your mental health.

When Bullies Lose Power:

What Happened to me when I had the Chutzpah to Stand up to a Bully

This is precisely what happened when I unfriended an old bully classmate over snide comments on some of my posts. She became furious! She couldn’t stand it! And I’ve got to tell you. I’m laughing as I type this.

This half-crazed woman blew up my inbox. And with such vitriolic rage! Oh, my goodness!

How dare I! The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah of me! O-M-G! I’m such a fake! I’m such a pissy person who deleted her because I got called out! Oooooo! Poor baby! I’m such a weak little bitch who can’t take constructive criticism!

This is what she messaged me before I laughed and pushed that little godsend of a block button. I would’ve pushed the button sooner. However, I had to let it percolate a little.

I was getting a real kick out of her reaction, and I wanted to give her time to shoot herself in the foot. Sure enough, she did.

I took screenshots of her messages—one in which she repeatedly asked, “Why did you delete me?” Then I plastered them all over the internet. The icing on the cake was that some of the other classmates saw the screenshots too and they were shocked.

I exposed her before the eyes of some of her old high school buddies. That’s when that she-bully went even more berserk. And, I have to admit. It was so fun to watch!

I kid you not. There wasn’t enough popcorn in the world!

You see, this woman thought that I was weak in high school. She never bet on the possibility that I had smartened up a little since. So, I went ahead and let her assume what she wanted and trapped her with it.

Therefore, I want you to know that standing up to a bully isn’t as hard as you think. It’s quite easy if you don’t let intense emotions get in your way.

Bullies get their power from getting you emotional. And when you finally come to a place where they can no longer faze you, the better you’ll be able to use your head. You will find some leverage and use it as a weapon.

Understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they can no longer think clearly. That’s when you have the opportunity to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you can know what to expect when you finally stand your ground.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

when victims of bullying snap on their bullies

When Victims of Bullying Snap: What Really Happens?

6 Comments

‘Want to know what happens when victims of bullying snap? Here is what happens when victims of bullying get fed up with the abuse.

when victims of bullying snap

Many victims become so fed up that they blow up on their bullies and beat the brakes off them. I’ve seen it happen, and it isn’t pretty.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when victims of bullying snap and why they do it. This is so that you will not only recognize when you’re about to snap, but also when another victim is about to explode.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to stop it before it happens.

This post is all about what happens when victims of bullying snap, so that you can get a handle on it before you lose control of your emotions.

When Victims of Bullying Snap

Oftentimes, victims endure bullying for so long that the sadness builds until it turns to rage. People can only be pushed so far. And when someone pushes you over the limit, you snap and get out of character.

No one can endure bullying and abuse and stay quiet and polite forever. Human beings have their breaking point. And when a victim reaches their limit, things can become dangerous very quickly.

your give-a-damn has burst

If you are a victim of bullying, you will eventually get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap at someone who pushed you over your limit.

Believe me, I understand, and if this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight. In fact, you hate fighting. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight, but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or let them beat me within an inch of my life.

Not only would the girls try to jump me, but the guys would too. And sadly, most of those redneck brutes had no qualms or reservations about beating up on a female.  It did not matter if she was little.

Some of them even threatened me with a knife or a box-cutter. Amazingly, I got out of there alive.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

What happens when you reach your breaking point?

Short answer? You snap! That’s what bullying does to you if you don’t have the proper tools to deal with it. Bullying gives you paranoia and makes you desperate.

It puts you in survival mode! In scientific terms, it rewires your brain to always prepare for a hostile environment. It also awakens your primal instinct for self-preservation.

A victim of bullying lives on adrenaline. They must always be on alert. In other words, they must grow eyes in the back of their head.

To be a victim of bullying is to constantly prepare yourself for danger every time you turn a corner. However, after so long, this gets exhausting.

This comes from personal experiences.

I cannot count the times in school I showed my booty to people after taking all I could take. And there were times I didn’t just let off a little stream, I blew a gasket!

Understand that the longer you are bullied, the more the pressure builds. The sense of injustice! The sadness and rage! It all piles up, and, before you know it, you snap!

Again, we are all human. No one can hold it all inside forever; it doesn’t matter how resilient they are. It’s not humanly possible.

You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews. Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last creep crosses your boundaries.

Some people, you scare half to death. Others, you piss off even more and make them twice as determined to get you. And a few see your tirade as personal entertainment.

I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There were times I’d yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. I would tell people to get the eff away from me and not to come back around, and I admit it. I showed the worst sides of myself on a few occasions.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

Brutal Fights

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library. This happened after she’d spent the last several months getting in my face and spouting taunts.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs and whacking her upside the head with a fist.

The second time I struck her, it was with my purse, then a textbook. I hit her with everything I had in my arms at the time.

The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. As I pulled her down the steps, she hit and bounced off every step. “Thump, thump, thump, thump… “

Once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

You end up doing things you regret later.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time this happened, I remember feeling terrible about it after everything cooled off.

No decent person wants to lose their composure and act foolishly. However, when you’ve been pushed for so long, there comes an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights, but I also lost a few.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

It becomes a cycle.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Some of the tiredness even bled over into my home life.

Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love. Bullying causes you to run out of patience and energy.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, you just don’t give a crap about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

Looking back, I realize that I didn’t handle the bullying correctly. Therefore, you must understand that if you don’t set boundaries early, this is what happens. It’s why we have so many school shootings.

Again, it’s because most victims don’t handle bullying the right way.

Setting Boundaries can help you stay calm and handle bullying in a healthy way.

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries.

Here’s what I do if I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something and they continue: I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

You cannot control another person’s behavior. However, you do have control over how you react to it. You have the power to choose whether to continue having them in your life or send them packing.

Therefore, show them the door. Fast! Once you refuse to associate with them, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

Never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries.

And do it from day one. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

Stand up for yourself.

I cannot stress enough the importance of standing up for yourself and doing it the right way. And timing is everything. You must do it in the early stages—the moment the bullying starts.

Why? Because if you don’t, your life will turn into a constant battle. You will react the wrong way. You will give over more and more of your power until you become powerless. Then, you will become angry and bitter. You may lash out at others.

Your reputation will plummet. As a result, others will mistake you for a bully when you’re only defending yourself.

This is why many victims who fight back are mistaken for bullies. When you take abuse for a long time and then snap, you have a hard time with people. In fact, you have difficulty with life in general. And it can ruin your future.

You can avoid this by standing up to bullies and practicing confident body language.

In closing

If this is similar to how your life is going, I cannot stress enough the importance of seeking help. Please don’t give up on yourself. There is still time to turn it around. You still have hope. You can make positive changes in your life.

The purpose of this post was to give you the information you need to recognize when you are headed toward your breaking point and provide ways to reverse course.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Easy Strategies

How to Deal with Physical Bullies

Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident