Body Shaming is Bullying: How to be Confident with Appearance

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‘Want to know why body shaming is bullying and how you can be confident regardless of how you look? Here is all the information that you need to know about.

body shaming is bullying

Body shaming can have devastating effects on the mental health of it’s victims, causing eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and other outcomes.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that body shaming is bullying, why it is, and the negative effects it can have on your self-esteem. You will also learn how to respond to it and how to look at it so that you can buffer your self-esteem against it.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will be a force that stands against it when it happens to you. Also, you will be able to call it out when you see it happening to others.

This post is all about the reasons that body shaming is bullying so that you can see it as just that, another form of bullying.

Body shaming is bullying

People, especially males, are visual creatures. A part of human nature is that appearances do matter. We choose dates based on the other person’s physical appearance.

Although how you look isn’t the entire package and things like personality and disposition are what counts in the long run, looks are what gets your foot in the door. It’s just the unfair world we live in.

It’s no secret that many females pride themselves on how they look. Hey, I do it too! Beauty is power. There’s also a phenomenon known as the “halo effect.”

The halo effect is “a cognitive bias that occurs when an initial positive judgment about a person colors the individual as a whole.”

In other words, beauty often makes a person appealing, making it difficult to change the minds of others when they receive new and negative information about the person. It makes the person appear more trusting and friendly.

Therefore, people who possess a certain positive quality or strength are assumed to have positive qualities in all other areas as well.

For example, teacher might be so impressed with a student’s looks or charming personality that they may give that student an A when, in reality, they may deserve a C. Sadly, clothes, hairstyles, and makeup are presumed to be of more value than, say, a person’s good heart or generosity.

Bullies instinctively know this, which is why they bend over backward to keep up the best appearance. Moreover, it’s the reason they shame someone else, particularly females, if they don’t look as good as they do.

Bullies will also tear down anyone whose looks rival theirs.

Body Shaming is Bullying:

Weight Shaming

Weight-shaming is all too common these days. Many people ridicule heavier females (and some males) because “they’re not thin enough.”

Moreover, bullies may also taunt tiny people and tell them they “need to put some meat on their bones.”

Because the person is too heavy or not heavy enough, those around them take pleasure in tormenting them. They intentionally make them feel as if they aren’t good enough and that they should not love and accept themselves.

This is wrong!

I want you to understand that weight doesn’t mean that you’re unattractive. I know many heavier and thin people who are beautiful. They have impeccable hygiene, they dress nice, and they have fantastic personalities and positive outlooks on life.

These people are happy, regardless! And they feel good about themselves!

Realize that bullies will often pick out what they perceive to be flaws in your physical appearance. Moreover, they’ll do this when they have nothing else to judge you on.

Bullies have a real flair for picking out something about you that you’re highly insecure about and using it simply because they know it triggers you.

But know that it takes a shallow and superficial person to resort to this kind of behavior.

No matter how you look, you still have value, and you matter! You are loved regardless! Therefore, stop looking at yourself through your bullies’ eyes.

Here are a few ways you can feel better about yourself if your classmates or coworkers are body-shaming you.

Body Shaming is Bullying:

Face Shaming

Bullies also love to face shame others. They may target someone who has a bad case of acne or those with freckles. Moreover, bullies may also face-shame those with totally clear complexions.

No one is too “perfect” to escape bullying. I’ve know people who were drop-dead gorgeous that bullies seemed to eat alive!

Therefore, bullies can target you for anything, good or bad.

During school, I watched bullies face-shame a girl who was a knock out, calling her, “horse-face,” “bulldog-face”… you name it. Therefore, understand that bullies don’t need a reason to bully you. They just do.

Realize that bullies must search, and search hard for something to target you over. Therefore, if you suffer bullying, there’s one thing I want you to remember right now!

It’s not about you.

In other words, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are enough. You’re perfect just the way you are.

It’s your bullies who have the issues. Therefore, it’s all about them, never you!

If Bullies attack your appearance, here’s what you can do to help yourself feel better.

  • Dress your best. Because if you look good, you feel good.
  • Apply a little makeup. Don’t apply it so thick that it looks like you put it on with a paint sprayer. But just a little because a little goes a long way. Again, this will do wonders for your self-esteem.
  • Maybe get a new hairstyle. Something new will often make you feel better about yourself. It will give you that burst of excitement that you’ve probably needed for a while now.
  • Eat right and exercise. Because, when you’re healthy, you’re happier. This is not about trying to lose weight, though it would be healthier for you. This is about releasing those endorphins to make you feel good.

Body Shaming is Bullying:

If there’s something you Want to change, then change it. But don’t do it because others say you must.

However, if you’re striving for weight loss, do it because it’s better for your health. The looks part is only an added benefit.

Why? Because we should take steps to take care of our bodies so that we can ward off any illnesses in the future. Also, exercise is a great stress-buster!

This is about practicing self-care. And you should always practice that!

And don’t do it thinking that the bullies will stop harassing you because chances are, they won’t. They’ll only find something else to disparage you about. It’s what bullies do best!

However, do the above for YOU, because YOU want to do it and because you want to change things about yourself that YOU don’t like. Not because others say you should.

If there’s something you cannot change, don’t beat yourself up. Find ways to embrace it. And if others don’t like the way you look, tell them to hit the road!

Change the things you can and accept the things you can’t change.

Understand that good looks isn’t what makes you as a person. A beautiful outer appearance counts for nothing if you’re ugly on the inside. Moreover, beauty is fleeting, but a good personality lasts a lifetime!

Look your best not to impress others, but to make yourself feel good.

And lastly, know that you’re beautiful and that you’re loved! You have a purpose for being here! Never forget that!

Body Shaming is Bullying:

Bullies often attack your appearance out of jealousy

Think about all the celebrities that bullies attack online. These are beautiful people. However, cyberbullies attack them every day, based on their looks. Understand that bullies just may be attacking your appearance out of pure jealousy.

Really think about it. Bullies know they can’t take away your good looks. So, they attack your looks to take away your confidence and trash your self-esteem. Don’t let them do that to you! Ever!

If nothing else, know this!

Beauty is subjective! Different people like different looks and different shapes. So, again, when people attack your looks, they just might be a little jealous!

Self-Acceptance and confidence are Key!

The best weapon against this kind of bullying is self-acceptance and confidence. Therefore, take steps to build your confidence and raise your self-esteem. And respond intelligently to these shallow people.

Remember that confidence is your first line of defense against any form of bullying. Stop caring what people think of you.

Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier! Pay them no mind because they don’t matter.

You’re worth it. Know that you’re worth it and you deserve the best!

This post was all about body shaming, why it’s a form of bullying and how you should respond to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

2. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense 

real friends vs fake friends meme

Real Friends vs Fake Friends

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‘Want to know how to spot the difference between real friends vs fake friends? Here are the contrasts that you need to know.

real friends vs fake friends

Sadly, when people bully you, the loneliness can become so intense that you have trouble deciphering between real friends vs fake friends.

As a result, this can land you in trouble because you become so desperate for human connection that you lower your standards and pick anyone who smiles in your direction. However, you must keep your standards high.

In other words, stay picky and learn the signs of healthy people and unhealthy ones.

In this post, you will learn how to spot the differences between real friends and fake friends.

Once you learn how to recognize these contrasts, you will be able to choose your friends wisely. Moreover, you’ll be less likely to settle for creeps because you’ll have the courage to wait until healthier people find you.

This post is all about the differences of real friends vs fake friends so that you will recognize them and have the courage to be selective of the people you allow in your life.

Real Friends vs Fake Friends

“My fake friends taught me what friendship was by teaching me what it wasn’t.”

It’s been said that you don’t really learn to appreciate something until you must go without it.I say this because many of the losers I called friends back then weren’t friends at all. Therefore, these kinds of people are painful but powerful lessons if you’re willing to learn from them.

Another lesson I learned was that adult friendships are much healthier than high school friendships.

Most school friendships are superficial and are based on how popular you are and how well you can dress and how good you are at faking it. Moreover, they’re cliched, insincere, and one-sided.

So, how do you learn the difference between friend and faux? Here are the differences.

1. A Real Friend will back you up when your bullies come calling. A Fake friend will either disappear, stay silent, or join your bullies.

A real friend won’t be afraid to stand up for you. She’ll either smart-mouth your bullies or even fight them if she must. Understand that real friends are like brothers and sisters. They protect one another.

On the other hand, a fake friend is a weak little coward. They’ll never speak in your behalf nor will they fight for you if a situation calls for it. In fact, they don’t think enough of you to be in your corner.

 Therefore, it’s time to stop having anything more to do with this person because they’re a waste of your time and aren’t worth knowing.

Understand that real friends are assets, whereas, fake friends are liabilities.

2. Real Friends vs Fake Friends

A real friend would never do anything behind your back. A fake friend, however, will pull all sorts of shady stuff when you aren’t around to see it.

For example, years ago, most of the classmates had droves of friends. However, they didn’t appreciate them.

I watched as the cliquey girls would horn in on their best friends’ boyfriends. Moreover, they would talk about them behind their backs. The popular crowd were the worst for this.

Therefore, realize that just because a person has a truckload of friends doesn’t mean they’re better off then you. Many people in the cliquey crowd have friends who are a bunch of vipers. Therefore, you’re better off alone then with creeps like those!

I can tell you that when I saw all this for myself, I wanted no part of “the cool kids” because they really weren’t that cool. Realize that many people are snakes and friends are only a convenience or status symbol to them

A real friend respects your boundaries. Therefore, they will avoid your partner if they have to. They know that some things are sacred and relationships and friendships are two of them.

Moreover, a real friend would never talk bad about you behind your back. In fact, they won’t allow anyone else to do it either and will stand up to any gossip who slanders you in their presence.

In contrast, a fake friend will try to hook up with your partner and talk smack about you when you’re not around. Also, they will either stay silent or join in if they hear gossip and lies about you.

Therefore, ditch and switch, baby! Real friends enhance your life. But fake friends only diminish it.

3. Real friends vs fake friends

Real friends are happy for you when you succeed, whereas, fake friends are jealous and will try to one-up you.

True friends will cheer for you anytime you win at something. They’ll celebrate your wins with you and brag on you to other people, even when you aren’t around to hear it.

Moreover, your true buddies will be happy that you have good social success because they’ll want nothing but your best.

Not so with fake friends. These people will feel jealous and resentful of you because of your good fortune.

If they’re jealous of your relationships and social fortune, many of your fake friends will stab you in the back. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you to defame you and turn others against you.

Moreover, they’ll try to break up your romantic relationships if they’re jealous of your potential to attract partners. These so-called friends will also try to come between you if they’re trying to hook up with your partner.

Also, they may try to sabotage you on the job or with a project you’re working on because they can’t stand the thought of you winning at something. Therefore, these people are a hindrance and you must give them the boot. Fast!

4. Real Friends VS Fake Friends:

Real Friends Respect Your Differences While Fake Friends Resent them.

True friends encourage you to be yourself and to stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you. Moreover, they like it when you stand in your truth.

And they’ll never turn their back on you or get hateful toward you for those differences.

True friends will allow and even encourage you to be yourself, speak your truth, and stand behind it. They wouldn’t want you to be fake for the sake of pleasing others.

Also, real friends like to hear your opinions and they accept your beliefs and convictions. They may not necessarily agree with you, but they’ll always respect your opinions. In other words, they’ll accept that you’re a different person with your own set of values.

On the other hand, fake friends will only resent you for all of it. Moreover, they’re likely to show their true colors anytime you’re show authenticity and have any differences of thought.

Sadly, you may be shocked and dismayed when the monster finally shows its face. For example, you may say something totally innocent, but something the fake friends doesn’t like.

Suddenly, the mask falls off and you find out the hard way that this person isn’t a friend at all. The fake friend then turns their back and becomes an enemy. They may even bully you like your bullies do.

Real Friends VS Fake Friends:

Here’s when fake friends show their true colors:

1. When you stand up for yourself.

2. When you’re not afraid to be yourself.

3. When you speak your truth and stand on it.

4. When you let your opinions, beliefs, and convictions be known.

5. When you call them or someone they like out on their bullshit.

Understand that if a person who claims to be your friend doesn’t allow you to be yourself. In other words, if they don’t let you to speak your mind, or show your emotions, that person is not a friend.

Therefore, you should re-evaluate that friendship and give this person the old heave ho.

Real Friends vs Fake Friends: How do you spot potential frauds?

1. Observe the people around you. Watch how they treat their friends behind their backs.

You watch people without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment, and you’ll quickly pick up on the moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

If you’re in a group and you see your friends talking about their other friends behind their backs while sucking up to their faces, you can bet they will do the same to you. And if you think they won’t, you’re only fooling yourself.

Also, if there seems to be a lot of drama around these friends, you might want to think about ditching these chicks. Then you’ll want to select friends who are saner and more level-headed.

Understand that friends such as these are bad for your self-esteem. Also, it’s a reason that, once most people graduate high school, they could care less if they ever see their schoolmates again.

Therefore, pay close attention to your friends and how they act. Notice how they behave when their friends aren’t around and how they carry themselves. Also, note any negative body language and microaggressions.

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context

Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

3. Real Friends vs fake friends:

Watch for micro flashes

If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it. Also, they may do it when they think you aren’t aware of it.

There are good actors; don’t get me wrong, but there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily, and if you look for it, you’ll see it.

For example, when you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see, out of the corner of your eye, tiny micro flashes of contempt on their faces.

Next, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut. Don’t ignore that because you’re not imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!

4. Notice the person’s feet

You can tell a lot by the feet.

Therefore, if the person is talking to you and facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.

So, use your feet and put some distance between you and this person.

5. Real Friends vs Fake Friends:

Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.

If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language.

In other words, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say. It’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Beware if someone is looking at you without blinking

This person will have that icy, piercing stare. If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

Be sure to mirror the person’s glare. In other words, look back and them the exact same way and keep staring at them until they look away. This will let them know that you aren’t intimidated and that you don’t like them either.

Also, watch for the furrowed brow and one corner of the lip slightly raised along with the death glare.

Smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes) is also a red flag.

Again, regard these people with caution and suspicion.

7. Also take note if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away.

Again, these people are a waste and you should see them as such.

This post was all about real friends vs fake friends so that you can tell the difference and avoid drama down the road.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

4. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

5. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

baiting definition

Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

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‘Want to know about baiting and the tactics bullies use to bait you into a reaction? Here are all the bully bait-tactics you need to know about.

baiting

Another tactic in the bully’s toolkit is to bait you by provoking you into an emotional reaction so that they can turn everything around on you and make you look like the evil one.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about baiting, the purpose of it, and what you can do to protect yourself against it.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to better handle any provocation with class. Also, you have a better chance of exposing your bullies and a lesser chance of getting blamed for someone else’s bad behavior.

This post is all about baiting, how bullies do it, and what you can do to defend against it.

Baiting, Bashing, and Blaming

1. They Bait you by provoking you.

Believe it or not, there is a method to the bully’s madness. Bullies are master life-chess players. They put a lot of forethought into their attacks against you. Always. Here’s how bullies can bully and get away with it.

Baiting

First, your bullies will bait you. They do this by provoking you for a reaction. If you blow it off and refuse to react, they will only intensify and increase the taunts. Albeit slowly and subtly.

Why? You might ask.

Bullies do this to wear you down, over time, until they achieve the reaction they want from you. Understand that bullies are very much aware that everyone has a breaking point. Moreover, they are relentless.

They will also provoke you in front of bystanders and witnesses.

Bashing

For example, your bullies repeatedly provoke you until they push you over your limit. You then react by yelling, telling them off, cursing them out, or punching one of them in the face.

Next, your bullies weaponize your perfectly human and justifiable reaction.

In other words, they will weasel their way into the hearts of bystanders and authority. Moreover, they’ll do it by using superficial charm and charisma to play the victims.

Your bullies will bash you by using your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged. Therefore, they’ll very meticulously make it look as though you’re at fault.

Understand that bullies do this to distract attention away from their bad behavior and project it onto you. Therefore, making you look like the guilty party.

Blaming

Once your bullies have succeeded in turning everyone against you, they entice others to join them in shaming you. Everyone may gang up on you, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”

Others may accuse you of “bringing it all on yourself” when in reality, the opposite is true. It is the bullies who have harassed you for months, even years.

You may have tried to handle the bullying calmly and objectively. However, after so long, you only succumbed to exhaustion and reached your limit.

Baiting:

What happens when you report the bullying?

When you report the abuse, staff is likely to blame you and refuse to hold your bullies accountable. Consequently, your bullies will only take this as a green light to continue tormenting you in the future.

Bystanders and witnesses will refuse to help you because they’ll only see you in a negative light. Therefore, you’ll have no other choice but to endure the torment in silence.

Moreover, you’ll eventually clam up because you know that no one will believe you anyway. You’ll know know that your bullies will only punish you for snitching.

And they’ll only further tarnish your already damaged reputation. And why not? By this point, there’s a strong chance that no one will believe her anyway.

Each time you make a report, those who are often in a position to help, will only blow you off. Why? Because they’ll think that the torture you endure is justified.

This will only do more to embolden your bullies, while damaging you.

Moreover, the more brazen your bullies become, the more the bullying will escalate. In other words, the more frequent and intense the attacks will become.

And it continue until the bullying becomes dangerous or even life-threatening. Therefore, the bullying will only end when they kill you, maim you, or you transfer or die by suicide.

Then the bullies will move on to another victim.

What do bullies have to gain from baiting you?

Understand that successful baiting gives bullies feelings of power and control.  Moreover, this gives them a sense of invincibility.

In other words, because they’ve gotten away with abusing you, they now think they’re untouchable.  Your bullies also get to enjoy favor and sympathy from everyone else.

Bullies also use this strategy to strike fear in and silence you. Therefore, it discourages any future attempts at speaking out.

As a result, it insulates the bullies from exposure. As long as you can’t talk, you can’t expose them for the cowardly, sniveling pieces of human filth they really are.

If bullies target you for abuse, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough when others constantly bully you. However, it’s much worse when they blame you for the bullying you suffer.

In fact, it can downright devastate you because it leaves you feeling completely powerless!

Again, realize that this is just another weapon bullies use and how they trick people into allowing them to continue with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.

Therefore, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash, and Blame. Once you do, you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment. At the same time, expect bullies to retaliate some way or another.

2. Instigation

This type of baiting is indirect and extremely cowardly. In other words, these types of bullies don’t have the guts to be direct or the stomach to get their hands dirty.

Therefore, they do their bullying by instigating a conflict between you and another individual. They then stand back, at a safe distance, and watch from afar. As they watch, they enjoy seeing you get humiliated by someone else.

Moreover, the individual these bullies pit against you probably won’t be the type of person who bullies anyone. In fact, they’ll likely be someone who doesn’t even have a history of conflicts with you.

The person they pit against you will most likely be a stranger, an acquaintance, friend, teacher, or supervisor. Understand that your bullies will do this to divide and conquer.

Baiting:

Divide and Conquer

There are several reasons bullies bait you using instigation:

  • To create a situation where they can gleefully watch as someone else reams you out.
  • For the purpose of turning others against you.
  • To create drama and entertainment
  • They want to parade you in front of an audience
  • To distract attention from their own evil deeds. In other words, if two or more people are too busy fighting and others are too busy watching and getting their kicks, they’re too occupied to pay attention to what your bullies are doing.
  • To isolate you by making you look like the bad guy. The more people the bullies can turn against you, the worse you look, and the less power you have.

Often, when you’re a target of bullying by instigation, the person or people your bullies have pitted against you will start their sentences off as:

  • “Hey! I heard you’re trying to get with my boyfriend!”
  • “Somebody told me that you did…”
  • “I heard you told so-and-so such and such!”
  • “Somebody told me you’re talking smack about me behind me back! How about having the guts to say it to my face!”

Your First Clues of baiting by instigation

If you’re a target of bullying and someone has instigated a conflict between you and someone you don’t usually have trouble with, the first words out of your accuser’s mouth will be,

  • “I heard…”,
  • “Somebody told me…”
  • “It’s going around that…”
    or
  • “It was brought to my attention…”

Those first few little words are your first clues of bullying by instigation, and that one or more of your bullies is trying to pit these people against you.

The Correct Way to Respond

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying and you’re ever in a situation like this, here are a few comebacks you can’t make to the accuser:

Laugh at the accuser and say one of these,

  • “Really? You ‘heard,’? You’re so gullible you’ll believe anything, won’t you?”
  • “Wow! And you believed that? Boy, are you a moron!”
  • “Gee, you’ll fall for anything, won’t you!”

The trick is to challenge the accuser’s intelligence, then walk away laughing. Your accuser will be stunned, and your bullies, who are surely watching from afar, will be sorely disappointed.

Therefore, always imply that your accuser is a fool for believing the lies, and I guarantee that the person will back down. It’s what worked for me.

How I wish I were this quick in school. But, as an adult, I was better able to defuse it by the above counter statements.

3. Baiting: The Secret Admirer Bait

A bully will use this to bait someone to insult and humiliate the target.
Here’s how it goes:

For example, your bullies and a few classmates or coworkers see you when you’re nearby and within earshot.  If you’re female, your bullies point to a nearby male and say,

“Hey, (your name)! John said he was madly in love with you!”
John then goes on the defensive and says,
“Oh, hell, no! I don’t like that ugly thing!”

Or, he might say, “That whore? No freakin’ way!”

Therefore, by doing this, the bullies slyly bait John into a knee-jerk reaction. And his reaction includes insulting and humiliating you just to drive home the point that he hates your guts.

As a result, you’re hurt and embarrassed and your bullies get their gratification in seeing John humiliate you.

Though the secret admirer bait is mostly used in middle and high school, people have used it on targeted adults in the workplace.

4. The Invitation bait

In this situation, the bullies will, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, become chummy with you. They will pretend to have a change of heart. Therefore, understand that your bullies will do this to bring down your defenses and win your trust.

However, BEWARE!

Why? Because, once they win your trust, the bullies will invite you to a birthday party, cookout, sleepover, kegger, or reunion. They will then set you up for either a physical attack or humiliation.

Furthermore, they may also get you drunk or high, then manipulate you into compromising situations. Again, this is used by both school-aged and adult bullies.

Baiting:

Here’s how to shut these monsters down.

Understand that no one ever becomes true friends overnight. Therefore, if someone who has bullied you suddenly starts to buddy up to you, and it seems to have come out of nowhere, it’s a red flag!

Steer clear!

Also, you’ll know it’s all fake if you pay attention. Why? Because when your bullies try to win over your trust, they will lay it on thick!

They’ll overdo the flattery. Moreover, it will sound so sweet, you’ll want to grab a barf bag. However, remember that bullies are very convincing. If you’re young and still in school, you’re likely to overlook the yuck if you aren’t careful.

So don’t fall for it! Don’t go anywhere with those people. Because once you’re alone with them, you’re at their mercy!

If you’re a kid in school and bullies use the secret admirer bait and trick someone into humiliating you, deal out a good burn for the person they baited into insulting you.

For example, you can say, “No chance. I could never be that desperate, and you could never be that lucky.”

Then keep walking.

Your witty comeback will sting the poor sucker who took the bully’s bait and tried to insult you. But hey! Better them than you. Right?

5. They bait you into explaining yourself.

Understand that anytime you feel you must explain yourself, you do so from a place of powerlessness. Moreover, bullies and their followers will pretend that they don’t understand or they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Therefore, know that you don’t owe them any explanations. Save the explanations for people who are worthy of them, such as a parent, teacher, or supervisor.

This post was all about baiting, how bullies do it, and how you respond so that you can emerge with strength and power!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

narcissistic bullying tactics

Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

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‘Want to know the bullying tactics bullies use? Here are all the methods bullies use that you need to know.

bullying tactics

Bullies aren’t always so obvious and they don’t always use physical violence. Many seasoned bullies use psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual bullying tactics that go undetected.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the techniques they use, even the subtle ones so that you can easily call it out by name and protect yourself.

Once you learn all about these bullying methods, you will be better able to see through them, speak out about them, and bully-proof yourself.

This post is all about all the bullying tactics so that you have the knowledge you need to defend yourself from even the most subtle attacks.

Bullying Tactics

1. Relational aggression (Sometimes Called Social Aggression)

Smear Campaigns

Since the beginning of time, bullies of all ages and backgrounds have always employed the smear campaign as their weapon of choice. Why? Simple. Because they work.

This is why the smear campaign is THE top most used bullying tactic of all. It’s employed by not only bullies against you, but many politicians against their opponents. Moreover, people with NPD use them against their victims.

Also, domestic abusers use them against their partners and dictators against anyone who dissents.

Smears always start subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

Consequently, if enough people buy into a smear, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. And there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

Therefore, bullies destroy you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas.

Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that everything is likely to stick. They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the rest.

It shouldn’t be so easy, but sadly, it is.

As the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

Moreover, once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

If they can’t control you, they will control what others think of you.

2. Bullying tactics:

Redundancy – Repeating the Same Lies

Have you noticed how bullies tend to repeat the same personal attacks over and over again? It’s as if they’re going by a script!

Like Josef Goebbels said, “a lie repeated a thousand times becomes truth.

However, luckily for you, this can also backfire on the bullies and have the opposite effect. It can become boring.

In other words, the attacks can go on for so long, they become so boring that they actually lose their effect. Why?

Because, instead of tapering off once the attacks give them the desired outcome, the bullies only increase them.

They make this mistake trying to make sure that the rumors stick. Put simpler, bullies repeat the same garbage because their afraid others will forget how disgusting you are.

Therefore, they repeat the same tired, worn-out narratives and they end up losing support. Hence, it backfires right in their faces.

Therefore, let them repeat, repeat, repeat until they shoot themselves in the foot!

3. Use your friends against you.

First, let me say this. If your friends are allowing themselves to be used by your bullies aren’t friends at all. What they are, is a bunch of scumbags!

Therefore, treat them accordingly.

The reason your bullies may use them against you is because your friends likely know details about you that others aren’t privy to.

So, how do bullies weaponize your friends?

  • They have them ask you questions
  • They have them stick extra close to you.
  • They have them go through your belongings when you aren’t around.
  • They have them hawk your social media profiles and pages.

Therefore, it’s best to ditch these friends and find better ones.

4. Bullying tactics: Barking orders

When bullies order you around, they do it for power and to make you look like a wimp. Moreover they deny your equality and autonomy.

Instead of respectfully asking for what they want you, your bullies only give orders as if you’re a subordinate. Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of you.

Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers or your parents. Therefore, if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks an order, you tell them, “I don’t take orders.”

The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy, self-esteem and keep feeling good about yourself.

5. Putting you on the defense

That’s right. And bullies will do it purposefully and for a reason. They put you on the defense to make you look “defensive” because they know that defensiveness makes a person look either guilty or cr*zy.

Later, they provoke you into a fight and tell everyone else, “See? What did I tell you?”

This is also called, “baiting” because, essentially, they bait you into a fight.

Therefore, when bullies make such predictions, take it as a warning. And it should warn you that your bullies are about to pull some shady stuff on you and that you need to watch out.

It should tell you that what is really happening is that your bullies are the ones plotting to provoke you into a physical altercation.

In other words, while the bullies are making such wild predictions about you, they’re setting everything up to happen exactly how they’re predicting. But why?

So they can turn around and say, “See? We told you so! If so and so wasn’t guilty, they wouldn’t be denying and explaining it so vehemently!

Realize that this kind of deception is easy to pull off. It shouldn’t work but it does!

Therefore, it pays to recognize when bullies unknowingly give themselves away. Then call it out by saying,

“With that statement, you just busted yourselves, and you’re too st*pid to realize it.” And say it without elaborating on it any further.

6. Bullying Tactics: Giving Unsolicited advice

Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice, even through they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.

Therefore, they freely advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict. These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they?

However, I want you to understand why bullies do this. Bullies give unsolicited advice because it serves them to do so.

How does it serve them, you may ask? It does so by giving their audience the impression that they know more and are more qualified than you.

In other words, bullies don’t give advice to help you. They give it to help themselves– to look cute and like they’re smarter than you.

Therefore, if you don’t know why bullies do it nor how to counter it, it can chip away at your self-esteem. So, what are ways that you can counter some smartass who gives you advice you didn’t ask for?

How do you counter it?

You counter this by having a clear understanding that the weight another person’s opinion carries depends on their relationship with you. Or, at least, it should.

Put another way, the people who are the closest to you and whom you feel closest to are those whose opinions you should value the most. These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse- your dearest family and friends.

In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, anyone who uses and abuses you, should carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t need a bully’s cheap two cents worth!

Never give value to anything that has none. In other words, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration.

7. Bullying Tactics: Asking Gotcha Questions

Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha-questions, but bullies are also infamous for asking them. What are gotcha-questions, you may ask?

Gotcha-questions are questions that put you in a bad light no matter how you respond to them or if you respond to them at all. These are the types of questions bullies will usually ask you in public, in front of an audience.

Gotcha-questions are forms of entrapment because bullies use them to trap you into looking bad to others.

Here are examples of Gotcha-Question bullying tactics:

“Hey, Jeff, do your friends know you got arrested the other day?”

This question says that Jeff did get arrested. It implies that he is a criminal and assumes that he was arrested whether his friends know it or not. If Jeff answers yes, it means that he’s a criminal and his friends know about it. If he answers no, it still means that Jeff is a criminal, only that none of his friends knows.

These types of questions are “gotchas” because they are closed-ended questions that leave no room for the truth.

“Tabitha, did you ever get help for your alcoholism?”

By asking this question, the asker is calling Tabitha an alc*holic without directly calling her one. It’s a slick way for the asker to attack her.

A yes means that Tabitha was “a drunk” in the past. On the other hand, a no implies that Tabitha is still a “boozehound.” And that’s what people will think.

Furthermore, if she responds by saying, “I’ve never had a drinking problem,” it would sound like a cover-up. Why? Because others would wonder why anyone would ask such a question if they weren’t privy to such private information? It implies that the asker knows information that hasn’t been available to anyone else.

Here are a few healthy responses to such questions:

“You’re wasting your time with the gotcha-questions because they don’t work on me.”

“You need to quit with the gotcha-questions. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re fooling no one.”

The trick here is to call the person out by calling the questions what they are. And when you do, do it as intelligently as possible. It may or may not save your good name, but you’ll feel good knowing that you called it out without allowing the bully to throw you off balance. And sometimes, that’s enough.

8. Bullying Tactics: Insulting questions

“Why are you so r*tarded, arrogant, ignorant, etc.)?

Understand that these questions aren’t really questions. They’re only accusations made in the form of questions.

Bullies are notorious for asking their targets rhetorical questions, which are questions designed to illicit a dramatic effect and to make a point, not necessarily to get an answer.

In other words, these questions are only innuendo.

They insinuate the target’s perceived lack of intelligence, sarcastic attitude, indifference, refusal to listen to reason, obnoxiousness, uselessness, or worthlessness.

The best way to counter these questions is to come back with something sarcastic. Here are some snappy answers to the above questions:

“Why are you so st*pid?”

“Maybe it’s because I lose a few million brain cells every time I hear you speak.”

“Why are you such a smart-ass?”

“Gee! Maybe it’s because morons like you bring it out in me.”

“Why are you so r*tarded?”

“Because listening to the trash that comes out of your mouth would make anyone r*tarded.”

“Why are you such a loser?”

“Maybe because I’ve been around you too long and it’s rubbing off on me.”

Always counter with sarcasm! Bullies’ hate being made a fool of and I guarantee that answers with some burn will take the wind out of their sails.

9. Bullying Tactics: Body Language

Threatening body language can be any physical gesture, such as dirty looks, invading your personal space, or touching your things.

How you stand up to this is to return the dirty look or tell them to get out of your personal space. You can also tell them to stop touching your belongings.

This may or may not change their behavior. However, you’ll feel great just knowing that you stood up to the creeps.

This post was all about the subtler forms of bullying tactics so that you can recognize them and respond appropriately.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. The 4 Stages of Bullying

5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

cancel culture is bullying reddit

Cancel Culture is Bullying

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‘Want to know why and how cancel culture is bullying? Here is what makes it so to give you a better understanding of it and to help you to better make the connection.

cancel culture is bullying

During the last ten years or so, there’s been a ton of cancel culture going on not only in this country, but around the globe. Moreover, cancel culture seeks to do many things- to instill fear in people, silence them, and tear them down. Therefore, cancel culture is bullying.

In this post, you will learn exactly what makes cancel culture another form of bullying and why we all should look at it as such.

Once you learn all the connections and associations, you will be able to better and more clearly call it out and shed some light on it.

Cancel Culture Is Bullying

Though, it’s disguised as a means to expose wrongdoing, abuses of power, and atrocities committed by those in power, it is, in fact, used by powerful people to subdue the less powerful.

Moreover, they use it as a means to strike fear in, silence and oppress everyday people who are brave enough to call them out for their bullying and evil deeds.

Therefore, cancel culture and bullying are no different. Why? Because there’s an imbalance of power, an intent to do harm, and to keep the victims of it in fear and hardship.

Double standards

When it happens in school or the workplace, we call it bullying. When it happens on a political or government level, we call it cancel culture. Therefore, again, understand that cancel culture and bullying are one and the same.

Cancel culture enforces a double-standard and holds targeted people to standards that no one outside the targeted group lives up to. Bullying does the same with it’s victims.

What is wrong for a each person in the targeted group is right for those in the in-group. What’s celebrated for one person or group is loathed in another. What’s deemed illegal for one person or group is legal, even heroism in another.

Therefore, does this sound familiar? It should.

This is bullying on a grand scale. Because one group has the right to commit crimes, hurt, and kill people. However, the “other” group doesn’t even have the right to defend themselves or their families and homes against the same criminals who are given carte blanche to harm them.

The message cancel culture send is, “We can, you can’t,” “Do as I say, not as I do,” “Rules for thee and not for me,” and dissenting opinions need not apply.”

Cancel Culture is bullying:

It destroys lives.

Many people have lost their jobs, livelihoods, homes, even families to cancel culture. Therefore, cancel culture is bullying. Moreover, it isn’t right to refuse someone else’s right to speak, think, work, flourish, and exist.

And this goes even if they have different opinions, beliefs, and perspectives than you. We must realize that everyone is different. In other words, we all have diverse beliefs, opinions, perspectives, convictions, and ways of thinking.

Moreover, different aspects of our lives shape them.

So, what shapes our opinions, beliefs, and perspectives?

Several things:

  • The family we’re born into
  • The environment we grew up in
  • Personal experiences
  • Education
  • Culture

It isn’t just defamation and smear campaigns. No! It goes much further.

It includes doxing the victim. In other words, if you’re that victim, online enemies will dig up information about you and your family. Then, they’ll use it to cause harm to you and your loved ones.

Cancel culture seeks to take away your good name and standing in society. Moreover, it also seeks to remove your rights to earn a living and feed your family. At it’s most dangerous, cancel culture usurps also yours and your family’s rights to physical safety.

Cancel culture is bullying because It is evil and malicious.

No matter what side of the aisle you’re on, cancel culture is wrong and it has to stop!

Everyone has a divine, God-given right to their own opinions, to be neutral, or to stay silent. These are Human rights, and again, no matter what side of the aisle we’re on, we each have those rights!

However, right before our very eyes, evil forces are conditioning people not to defend their most precious rights. Moreover, innocent citizens are being programmed not to believe what they see happening, nor to listen to their God-given gut instincts.

This is concerning!

Nowadays, it’s too easy to destroy someone’s life and take everything from them. We’re talking about everything they’ve worked hard their whole lives for.

Sadly, if a bully wants to destroy you, they don’t need evidence of any wrongdoing on your part to back them up. In other words, they don’t need any sort of proof to do it.

All it takes is an accusation, an allegation, or suggestion. Or, it can be a screenshot or any online post from twenty years ago.

That’s right! If bullies can’t find anything on you, they’ll dig up anything from your distant past.

All it takes is one harmless joke from way back when that’s now deemed offensive.  Bullies can also use a picture of you from the seventies or eighties. And you could be wearing a Halloween costume that is seen as politically incorrect today.

Bullies can also dig up something from years ago, a high school photo. They could find an old photo of you when you were a wet-behind-the-ears teenager and wipe you out! There’s no forgiveness or redemption on the internet!

Cancel Culture is Bullying:

It doesn’t matter that kids eventually grow up.

Cancel Culture doesn’t take into consideration that people grow up. In other words, it doesn’t care about the fact that people change as they get older.  It doesn’t care whether you learn from your mistakes.

In short, maturity doesn’t sway it. Cancel culture has no concern that we all do and say ignorant things when we’re kids. It doesn’t care that we’re all human beings capable of making errors.

Therefore, understand that if bullies cannot pin anything on you, they will claim that you’re mentally imbalanced. And, if that doesn’t stick, they will dig up something, anything from your past that puts you in a bad light.

Cancel culture is bullying of the highest order. It’s also stalking and it’s dangerous. It puts our very lives at risk.

 In fact, people have had to flee their own homes due to doxxing and having their lives and family threatened. Some have gone into hiding. There are even a few who have had to go underground.

It is my hope that people wake up and see the craziness and obsessiveness of cancel culture. Each and every one of us should take a stand against this madness.

Cancel Culture is Bullying and it Breeds Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous

Cancel Culture is the new cyber-bullying. People say that it was intended for the purpose of shaming celebrities and other people in power for bad behavior.

And maybe it was intended that way. However, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” And it’s definitely true when it comes to this form of cyberbullying.

However, what it really does is give cyber-bullies a green light to bully anyone they deem unworthy of existing.

Therefore, it breeds cyber-bullies who are more dangerous. It even breeds cyber-criminals!

Many celebrities have been cancelled. However, they’re already rich and set for life. They have built nest eggs of tens of millions of dollars to fall back on, if cyberbullies decide to target them for cancellation.

Therefore, cancel culture won’t affect them like it would a normal, everyday person with a job, bills, and a family to feed.

However, common people  suffer the most when bullies target them for cancelling. Interestingly, cyber-bullies love to target commoners because they haven’t built  a financial cushion to rest on.

Therefore, cyber-bullies will come after them before they will those who are already set.

Bullies want want their attacks to have the maximum negative effect.  Therefore, they’ll pick those who don’t have the wherewithal to protect themselves, their families, and their assets.

Cancel Culture is Bullying:

Here’s The Best Alternative.

Cancel culture doesn’t only take away the rights of creators, it also removes the rights of consumers as well. Therefore, here’s my message to those who encourage this kind of bullying.

If you don’t like something, fine. You have a right not to like it and you have a right not to have anything to do with it. What you don’t have a right to do is take away my choice to buy it, judge for myself, and like it.

This kind of bullying violates the personal rights and boundaries of everyone! It seeks to tell you what it thinks you should do. It tells you what to read, watch, eat, use, and who to associate with

. In short, cancel culture strips us all of our God-given rights to self-determination.

But isn’t that what all bullies do, strip their victims (and everyone else) of their right to choose? Their right to have an opinion? The right to speak and to have dignity? Their rights to self-determination?

The alternative to cancel culture is using common sense. In other words, if you don’t like someone, don’t associate with the person. However, don’t take away my right to decide that I want to associate with them.

If you see an item for sale in a store and you don’t like it, then don’t buy it. But, don’t take away my right to like it, choose it, and buy it.

If you don’t like the brand or, more appropriately, if the brand “offends” you, don’t buy it.

Does the show offend you? Then don’t watch it.

Does the business offend you? There’s a simple solution. Don’t patronize it.

If you don’t like the book, don’t read it.

Do you see how this works? It’s that simple.

This post was all about the reasons cancel culture is bullying So that you can call it out like it is.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

2. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

3. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

4. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

5. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

benefits of setting boundaries at work

Benefits of Setting Boundaries

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‘Want to know the benefits of setting boundaries? It just may surprise you. If you only knew what those advantages are, you’ll definitely be more motivated to establish limits with others

benefits of setting boundaries

When you set boundaries, you communicate to people what you will and will not tolerate from them. Also, you let them know what consequences they can expect if they violate those boundaries.

Anytime you establish boundaries, chance are that people will understand where your limits are and they’ll likely adapt their behavior. However, people who are human predators won’t acknowledge your boundaries and may even see them as a challenge.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of setting boundaries. Also, you’ll learn how to deal with people who refuse to respect those limits.

Once you learn about all this essential life-tips, you will be more compelled to set boundaries without fear nor guilt. Moreover, you’ll be brave enough to stand up to those who cross the line.

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries and how to enforce those boundaries so that you can live a peaceful life without any disruptions.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

So, what are the benefits of setting boundaries?

1. You get to know yourself better.

In other words, you have a greater sense of identity. You won’t be afraid to be yourself.  Moreover, you’ll know who you are and what you want. And there’s so much more that comes with it.

You get to know your likes and dislikes and, more importantly, the things you will and will not tolerate.

When you finally come to know yourself, the level of self-acceptance will be off the charts! You’ll learn to embrace your own thoughts, beliefs and convictions.

In that, you realize that everyone is different and no two people are the same. Therefore, you give yourself permission to also be different. Moreover, you’ll be okay with making mistakes. Let’s face it, we all make those!

This is such sweet freedom!

2. You begin loving yourself more.

The more you love yourself, the least likely you are to put up with anyone’s BS. Moreover, you’ll least likely be afraid to go after what you want.

This could be a great paying job or better relationships.

Also, you’ll be less likely to worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you’ll know that you’re a great person no matter what anyone else says.

Loving yourself means treating yourself well. And how you treat yourself defends on how you let others treat you. Boundaries (or lack of) are the way you teach others how to treat you.

Moreover, they signal to others whether or not you respect yourself. And if you don’t give yourself respect, chances are that no one else will either. Instead, they’ll only use you as a doormat.

Therefore, once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll learn to love and respect yourself more. As a result, others may adjust their attitudes and behavior and begin giving you respect.

Do you know what the best part is? You’ll be willing to drop anyone who sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And you’ll do it without guilt.

Therefore, you’ll earn respect not only from yourself but others as well.

3. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You Skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, you’ll like yourself. You’ll also have a better attitude about life and the world around you. Also, self-doubt won’t even be an issue. Instead, you’ll trust yourself to make the right life-choices.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and in your effect on others. In turn, those around you will be more confident in you. The best part is that , you’ll be okay with your flaws and limitations. Therefore, others most likely won’t pay attention to them either.

Moreover, you’ll believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can get to anywhere you want to go. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do something, you’ll be that much more determined to get it done!

You won’t allow bullies to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Instead, you’ll only deep your heels in deeper and double down on your efforts to complete your goals. You’ll use your bullies, haters and naysayers as your rocket fuel! And you’ll put in the work and overcome the obstacles to attain that goal.

When you raise your self-esteem, you won’t fear taking on new challenges and trying new things. In fact, you will be excited to do so!

And lastly, you will know your worth and have a deeper sense of security!

4. You’ll Reduce your stress levels.

Life won’t stress you out as much because you’ll be more relaxed. In other words, you won’t let life’s little annoyances get to you. As a result, you’ll be more successful at solving problems.

In other words, you’ll be able to work through adversity and stare trouble in the face. You’ll even have patience because you’ll be confident that everything will work out eventually.

Social anxiety will be a thing of the past because you will be comfortable in your own skin. Again, this comes from not caring what others think of you.

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll increase your productivity.

Your productivity will automatically rise because you’ll be able to make time to work on your own goals. You’ll use that time wisely, making every second count.

At the same time, you’ll allow yourself rest periods and avoid overworking yourself. And you’ll put your priorities first, then take care of others.

6. You’ll value your solitude a lot more.

In other words, you won’t be afraid to be alone. Why? Because you’ll understand that being alone doesn’t be being lonely. Instead, you’ll value solitude because you’ll be able to focus on your tasks and get more done.

7. You’ll be able to focus more on your goals.

Again, when you set boundaries, you will accomplish more because you’ll have higher mental focus.

8. You’ll enjoy better relationships.

Why? Because because others will more likely respect your boundaries. Moreover, you won’t be afraid to get rid of those who don’t.

Therefore, you’ll have less bullies, abusers, and users in your life.

And the best part is that you’ll attract even more healthy people into your life. Remember that like attracts like.

9. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You’ll keep your circle small.

In other words, you’ll be satisfied with only a handful of friends. Popularity will no longer matter to you.

To you, quality will matter more than quantity. Therefore, you’ll enjoy relationships that are much more rewarding!

10. You’ll take care of your health and hygiene.

You’ll make it a point to shower or bathe regularly. Moreover, you’ll eat well and make sure to exercise to maintain your strength and endurance.

You’ll also get plenty of rest. You’ll be sure to dress your best and look your best. Why? Because when you look good, you feel good!

You’ll also give yourself permission to take breaks from tasks if you need to.

11. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You won’t be afraid to enforce those boundaries.

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them is another.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, you understand that once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

And you’re not afraid to do that. In fact, you’re willing to take that risk to protect your peace of mind.

When you do, no amount of guilt trips or manipulation will sway you. You warned them, they didn’t believe you, and you realize that the only way they’ll take you seriously is to make believers out of them.

Therefore, you’ll do what you have to do to let the creeps know that you mean business. You’ll be willing to impose consequences, whether through fisticuffs or sending their butts to the door and telling them never to come back.

12. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll have improved mental and emotional health.

Because you enjoy healthier relationships with people who love and respect you and you score accomplishment after accomplishment, your emotional and mental health will drastically improve!

Put all these things together and your life can only improve!

In conclusion

Setting boundaries is important for a happy and peaceful life. Therefore, you must not be afraid to keep the bullies and jerks out. Remember that you have one life to live and it’s way too short. Therefore, love yourself enough to do what you must do to protect your peace.

Stop allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for other people’s problems. Take care of yourself. Focus on your goals and priorities. And more importantly, set boundaries and reap the rewards that come afterward!

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries to motivate you to set your own and take your life back.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

inside the bullied brain

The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

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‘Want to know what happens in the bullied brain? Here are the changes that happen in the brain of a bullied person that you need to know about.

the bullied brain

Prolonged bullying can cause actual changes in the brains of it’s victims. And these changes aren’t good.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the bullied brain and the exact changes that victims’ brain goes through.

Once you learn all about these negative brain changes, you will be able to better describe how bullying has changed you. Also, you will be more motivated to take the steps needed to protect your mind from vicious bullies.

This post is all about the bullied brain and why it’s important for you not only to protect your your mind from bullying.

The Bullied Brain

Bullying and Changes in the Brain

As we know, bullying can cause victims lots of trauma. However, bystanders also suffer a degree of trauma as well, just by witnessing it.

For now, let’s talk about what bullying does to targets, since it affects them the most.

Any form of psychological trauma, whether it comes from combat, rape, or bullying, changes the physiology of the brain.

Furthermore, it reprograms the brain’s alarm system. It also causes a sharp increase in stress hormones.

Put simpler, it changes the way the brain distinguishes real information from fake information. And lastly it comes more difficult for the brain to tell the difference between information that relevant and that which is irrelevant.

Because of these changes, you become hyper-vigilant. In fact, some victims and survivors become so much so that they cannot function day to day.

Once you’ve suffered enough trauma, you may have difficulty learning from experience. As a result, you may often repeat the same destructive behaviors. This is why others often accuse you of being a “bad” person.

Also, others may label you as lazy, stubborn, immoral, and having bad character.

1. Bullying rewires Your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

You must understand that this is what happens when people bully you for long periods of time.  It will rewire your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

 In other words, you will have difficulty trusting people. You’ll come to only expect hostility from them.

Moreover, people may accuse you of being lazy when you’re only dealing with “learned helplessness.” And learned helplessness is a common result of repeated and prolonged bullying and verbal abuse.

Also, others may accuse you of being defiant and stubborn when you’re actually shutting down.

Moreover, they may also accuse you of hotheadedness or craziness when you’re actually defending yourself. Or, you could be experiencing the release of pinned up rage.

This sudden out-pour of raw emotions often results from being abused, then silenced and punished for speaking out and defending yourself.

2. The bullied brain:

Prolonged and Repeated Bullying and Abuse Causes Learned Helplessness.

If you suffer repeated bullying and abuse, you may have no way of defending yourself. Moreover, certain circumstances may leave you with no way of fleeing and escaping the bullying and toxic environment.

Learned helplessness doesn’t only come from repeated bullying and abuse. It also comes from feelings of entrapment.

In other words, it’s caused from feeling powerless to do anything to better your situation.

For example, if a group of bullies lock the door of the bathroom and surrounds you, they block any escape. They then hold you down as they attack you.

This is likely to cause “learned helplessness.”

Here’s another example. You report the bullying to the school principal or teacher. But instead of helping you, the school staff only blame you and refuse to help.

Then, the next day, the bullies retaliate and beat you to a pulp for snitching. Even worse, this happens several times until you finally give up trying to take care of yourself.

Thus, you develop learned helplessness.

Battered Wife Syndrome: Another example of the Bullied Brain

A battered wife is constantly threatened by her abusive husband. He tells her that, if she leaves, he will take the children from her, or kill her, or worse, kill her entire family.

As a result, she feels trapped in an abusive marriage with no way out. Therefore, she is likely to develop battered wife syndrome, which is another form of learned helplessness.

Understand that it’s not so much the bullying and abuse that causes this condition. There have been many abused and bullied people who have escaped their situations.

They later became highly independent, healthy, and successful people.

What causes learned helplessness is the inability to oppose or escape the abuse. In other words, you develop learned helplessness when bullies and abusers block you from any possible paths of escape.

Why? Because you have no other recourse than to take the abuse quietly just to survive.  That is what causes “learned helplessness.”

This also happens when you have no one to turn to for help. When no one will listen to or believe you, the condition of learned helplessness has a strong chance of developing.

3. You become exhausted and lose the will to fight back.

When people bully you, it can be extremely exhausting. Understand that bullies know this. Therefore, they’ll deliberately wear you down to take the fight out of you. Then, they can take control over your life.

At first, you may defend yourself, fiercely asserting your rights to human dignity, respect and safety. However, most bullies don’t recognize human rights.

 They only see your acts of self-defense and self-protection as a threat to their power. Therefore, they only double down.

In other words, your bullies intensify the hatred and abuse to keep you fighting until they mentally and physically exhaust you.

You finally become so tired that you lose your will to fight back. You then decide that it’s much easier just to give up.

4. The Bullied Brain:

You lose the ability to recognize mistreatment.

When you’re used to being treated well, you can see bullying more clearly. Therefore, you know the difference when it happens.

However, after you endure bullying for so long, the lines get blurred, and you lose the ability to see aggression so clearly. This happens especially if the hostility is subtle.

Finally, you reach a point where you don’t recognize abuse at all!

5. Bullies condition you to accept bad behavior from others.

After bullies have verbally abused you for so long, you begin to believe their words. In other words, bullies have abused you until you finally start to believe that you somehow deserve it.

These damaging self-beliefs happen after the bullies, their followers, and bystanders have repeatedly abused you and prevented you from defending yourself.

Put another way, they have drummed into your head that you are worthless. Moreover, they have repeated that lie over and over until you begin to believe it too.

6. The Bullied Brain:

You begin to punish yourself.

You do this by engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors. you may hang with the wrong people and befriend those who only tolerate you. Moreover, you may participate in risky sexual behavior or having relationships with abusive partners.

7. You contemplate suicide.

After bullies have tormented you for so long, the torture can reach a point to where you think of suicide. It’s not that you want to die, per se. However, when people constantly bully you without stopping, you may feel that dying is the only way to make it stop.

The Bullied Brain: Understand that Bullying is One Big PsyOp

Think about it. Governments and their military use psyop operations by starting propaganda campaigns. When bullies employ smear campaigns and verbal abuse against you, it is the equivalent of a government propaganda campaign but on a much smaller scale.

Therefore, understand that propaganda campaigns and smear campaigns are pretty much the same and they both have the same purpose. To demoralize the enemy.

When people bully you, they consider you the enemy and want to demoralize you. Therefore, you must realize that, if bullies can demoralize you, they can then crush your will to stand up for yourself and fight back.

The Bullied Brain:

Here’s How Bullies Attempt to demoralize you.

Bullies will tell you things, such as:

  • “You’re not strong (pretty, smart) enough.”
  • “No body likes you” or “You don’t have any friends.”
  • “You can’t fight against us.”
  • “You’ll always be a nobody” or “You’ll never amount to anything.”
  • “No one will ever date you (or) marry you.”
  • “You’ll never win that contest.”
  • “You’ll never make the team.”

You’ll never this and you’ll never that. You must realize that these statements mean to mentally subdue you. In other words, they force you to give up your natural reluctance to bow down and take abuse.

Understand that your bullies must slowly weaken you so that you won’t stand up to them. And once they do, you’ll give up on yourself and allow them to just walk all over you.

In Conclusion:

Understand that you must take care of your mental health and self-esteem if you want to avoid these results in the future.

Therefore, make sure you have friends outside of the bullying environment that you can talk to. Also, turn to supportive family members for help.

Do things you enjoy and keep company with positive and uplifting people any time you’re away from the bullies.

Your goal is to balance everything out by adding healthy and positive relationships and experiences. You must cultivate these relationships even if they’re outside the bullying environment.

This balance will soften the blows to your self-esteem and provide a buffer to your bullies’ attacks.

This Post is all about the bullied brain and why you should take steps to protect your mind just as you would your body

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

bullying support group

Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

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Bullying support groups and organizations are life savers for victims of bullying. Therefore, if you or a loved one is suffering from bullying, gaslighting, and abuse, I want you to know that there are people and organizations you can reach out to.

bullying support

When bullies target you at school or in the workplace, a support system can be the difference between suicide and the will to live. I tell you this from experience.

Sadly today, there are people who don’t consider the damage bullying does to victims because most people don’t like to acknowledge it. Many people simply do not want to know that bullying even exists.

Moreover, many victims suffer in silence because they’re either afraid their bullies will retaliate or they’re too ashamed to admit that they’re victims. Another reason is that much of society is still under the misguided belief that bullying is “a right of passage” – a “normal occurrence that all kids go through.”

This is simply not true.

There is nothing normal about it, and no, the majority of kids don’t endure long-term bullying. Only about a third. And even this estimate is probably much higher because much of the bullying people endure goes unreported.

What you will learn:

In this post, you will learn about the bullying support resources available when you have nowhere else to turn.

Once you learn about all these people and groups, you will be better able to get the help you need.

This post is all about the bullying resources available to you so that you can get the help you need to either fight, face, or heal from the bullying. Know that you are not alone and that there are people out there who care.

Bullying Support

Bullying destroys the lives of millions worldwide every year. Moreover, those who haven’t experienced it still hold the belief that bullying is just a normal part of life. Regardless of what they think, bullying is one of the biggest morale killers.

Therefore, you may think that speaking up about it is out of the question.

Truth be known, you’re more than likely afraid that if you do speak up, others will shame you for it. They may tell you to toughen up. And maybe they did when you tried to tell them what was happening to you.

So, you toughened up. You started fighting back and defending yourself, only for others to blame you, accusing you of being the perpetrator.

As a result, the school principal suspended or expelled you. Or, maybe your were a bullied adult in the workplace and your supervisor fired you because you stood up to the bully.

In a nutshell, there still isn’t enough support for victims of bullying even today. How many child,  teen, and adult suicides could we prevent if we simply put the word out that help is available

Moreover, how many could we’ve prevented decades ago. Unfortunately, that’s an answer we’ll never know because those victims aren’t alive to tell their stories today.

I can only speculate that it was more than likely well over half of all suicides and I’m confident in that guess.

Therefore, if you’re a parent or guardian, listen to your child and take steps to support and protect your son, daughter, or grandchild.

If you’re a teacher and a child or teen comes to you and opens up about the bullying they suffer, please do not trivialize their pain nor rebuff them. Reach out to them and give them a listening ear.

Let this precious human being know that you’re there for them.

If you’re a supervisor or manager, please, listen for the sake of not only the target, but for that of your company. Companies lose millions per year as a result of workplace bullying. Therefore, it’s much more profitable to do the right thing than it is to ignore it or to blame the target.

1. Bullying Support Groups and Therapists

There are millions of support groups of other bullying victims and survivors. Many of the leaders of these groups have also endured bullying. Therefore, do research and see if there is one in your area. These groups are so beneficial because you’ll be together with people who’ve had the same experiences.

Moreover, you will be in a safe place to talk about what’s happening to you and get everything off your chest. The best part is that the members of the other group will listen and they will offer moral support. You will be among friends.

Moreover, a therapist will be able to help you. They can be a good source for counseling to repair your self-esteem and overall mental health.

They can also give you tips on how to handle a bully.

2. Martial Arts Schools

Martial Arts school are great because, not only do they teach you how to defend yourself, they also teach you how to think on your feet. Moreover, many MA schools have classes on how to deal with bullies.

The best part is that martial arts also teaches you to have confidence and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Therefore, if it’s feasible for you, think about joining a martial arts class.

Note: Just don’t tell anyone that you’re taking martial arts. You definitely don’t want your bullies to find this out until it’s time. Also, never use your training on a bully until you are completely confident in your MA abilities.

3. Bullying support for Parents

There are also many groups who support parents of bullied schoolchildren. Again, do research, ask around, see if your area has one. These groups not only offer support, they will also teach you how to be there for your child and how to talk to them.

4. trusted Family and friends

Trusted family and friends are also great avenues of support. Moreover, if you know they will listen with love, open up to them and tell them what you’re going through.

This often works when you don’t have the funds for therapy or group sessions.

5. trusted teachers

Notice I said, trusted teachers. Sadly, not all teachers are sympathetic to bullied students. In fact, I’m willing to say that the majority of them aren’t.

However, there are a few who are especially understanding. They’re the teachers that you don’t meet but maybe 1 to 3 times during your school career. Therefore, if you have a trusted teacher that you absolutely love, don’t be afraid to confide in them.

I speak from experience because I had a few teachers I could talk to when I was being bullied. And, let me tell you! They made a huge difference in my life! They are the teachers, I’ll always remember with love!

6. workplace bullying support groups

Yes, there are support groups for bullied adults in the workplace. Also, if you need to see a therapist, they’re also a great resource for support. In many cases, therapists have made all the difference in the lives of many victims.

Therefore, don’t be too ashamed to see one. Remember that it doesn’t mean that you’re coming unglued. Although there is a lot of unfair stigma around seeing a counselor, you shouldn’t concern yourself with what others think.

This is all a part of self-care. Not only should you take care of your body, you should take care of your psychological and emotional well-being as well.

7. anti-bullying attorneys

There are many lawyers who specialize in anti-bullying law. These litigators represent bullied children and their families against schools who fail to protect them against bullies. Moreover, they also represent adults who have had their lives ruined because of workplace bullies.

They file lawsuits against schools, school systems, and companies for any damages done to victims, from lost wages, to medical costs resulting from bullying. They will even help you to recoup any psychological costs and file for punitive damages from schools, companies, and bullies themselves.

Therefore, if you’ve suffer psychological trauma from bullying, don’t hesitate to consult one of these attorneys. Most of them offer a free consultation and they can tell you if you have a case.

Also, some of them will probably be pro-bono attorneys. In other words, you don’t pay fees to them unless they win your case or you get a settlement. Put simpler, if you get nothing, they get nothing.

In Conclusion

Any time people are bullying you every day, for everything, you need all the support you can get. Why? Because bullies are experts at manipulating social hierarchies and turning other people against you. And they do this specifically to whittle down any support you may get.

And why do they prevent anyone from supporting you? Because any support you get is a threat to your bullies’ power over you. Therefore, this is why most bullies are hellbent on turning others against their victims and isolating them.

This is why support groups, therapists, and attorneys who specialize in bullying are popping up all over the country. There is a need for bullying-support and it’s finally available as it should have been years ago.

Therefore, take advantage of these support systems. You’ll be glad you did.

This post was all about the bullying support resources that are available to victims and why you should consider reaching out to them for help.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

2. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

Confidence vs Arrogance

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‘Want to know the difference between confidence vs arrogance? Here are the differences you need to know about, especially if you’re a victim of bullying and abuse.

confidence vs arrogance

Many people get the two confused. Why? Because others conditioned them to believe that even the smallest shred of confidence is arrogance and that it’s bad.

Sadly, bullies and abusers condition victims that confidence is negative. Also, you can be misguided in thinking such by people who are well-meaning but don’t know better.

Why? Because they were also taught such things. Others conditioned them to believe that confidence, self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion were arrogance. Then, they passed it onto you.

Moreover, they were taught that they were bad people for having those treasures. Also, the abusers in their lives manipulated them into believing that they never deserved to have those traits.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between confidence and arrogance so that you understand the differences.

Once you learn how the two differ, you will have an understanding of the distinctions. Also, you’ll be better able to resist being brainwashed when bullies attack your confidence and try to convince you that it’s bad.

This post is all about confidence vs arrogance so that you can hold on to your confidence when bullies try to attack you for it.

Confidence vs Arrogance

So, what’s the difference?

1. Confidence is healthy.

It’s never shy nor boastful. It’s that happy and healthy middle between low self-esteem and smugness.

Therefore, when a person is confident, they don’t have to trumpet their own importance and they don’t have to show off. Confidence isn’t loud or obnoxious, it’s quiet.

A confident person doesn’t boast or brag because they don’t have to. They know their value and all the good they bring to this world. They already know their own importance. Confidence is seen and not heard because it’s there.

Confident people believe they’re equal to everyone else. They believe they’re no better than anyone but just as good.

Therefore, they are kind to others and allow them to be themselves and do their own thing. However, a confident person is also assertive. They aren’t afraid to set firm boundaries and lay down the law if another person sticks so much as a toe over their boundaries.

A confident person, doesn’t let his confidence effect the way he treats people.

Why? Because he believes that everyone has a right to respect and dignity.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be confident and to be comfortable in your own skin. Moreover, it’s okay to have respect for yourself and to love yourself.

And thirdly, it’s okay to indulge in self-care and to tell some creep to go to hell if they get abusive with you. So, be confident!

Know that you can have confidence without being a pompous stuffed shirt. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well and with love and respect.

2. Confidence vs Arrogance:

Arrogance is unhealthy

In fact, it’s toxic! Arrogance is extreme.

In other words, it’s loud and obnoxious. When a person is arrogant, they’re full of themselves. An arrogant person makes sure that everyone around them knows how important they are because they feel they must announce it to the world.

Arrogance is like a peacock; it shows all it’s pretty colors and expects people to notice and give it recognition. However, it’s boastful because it’s insecure, and craves attention, admiration, and adoration.

An arrogant person believes he’s superior.

They treat people they deem inferior like dirt. Moreover, they’ll go out of their way to bully them and let them know who’s boss.

An arrogant person either doesn’t recognize boundaries, or he resents them. In other words, he believes that he should have carte blanche to violate another person’s boundaries.

Also, he gets highly pissed if the person he bullies has the gall to stand up to him.

Therefore, an arrogant person is a self-entitled, egotistical, self-satisfied turd who uses his attractive qualities to compensate for insecurity, cowardice, and weakness.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Regardless of what others have taught you, there’s a difference.

If other people have taught you the confidence is conceit, understand that they fed you nothing but lies. Confidence, basic self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are not arrogant. Moreover, they aren’t selfish.

What they are is essential– essential for good mental health and a good life. They’re crucial for happiness and fulfillment

Realize that when someone attacks your confidence by accusing you of being arrogant or self-centered, it’s not about you. It’s really about them and always has been.

Why? Because they only do it to keep you down by making you feel less than them.

They do it because, deep down, they feel small. So, they feel they must push you down into the pits of low self-esteem so they can feel superior. Therefore, these people, who are really bullies, believe they must break your spirit to uplift theirs.

Oh, but wait! Here’s something else to think about here: maybe bullies and abusers drum this garbage into your head because they’re afraid. That’s right!

Could it be that bullies and abusers attack your confidence out of fear?

They’re frightened that if you manage to attain that precious confidence that you were born with, then you just might grow a pair of coconuts! In other words, you’re more likely to develop the spinal column to tell them where they can stick it and drop them like a bad habit!

Realize that this is about power. Moreover, it’s about making sure they keep you in your place, so they don’t risk losing their power over you.

Confidence vs Arrogance Or Confidence vs Egotism

Arrogance and egotism are close cousins. The confusion between confidence and egotism is also quite common. However, there are ways to distinguish between confidence and egotism.

Before I go further, let me start by saying that we all have egos. However, the trick is in how we handle them.

Here are the differences between confidence and egotism.

  • Confidence is quiet. Egotism, like arrogance, is loud and boastful.
  • The former doesn’t have to boast because it already knows its value. The latter, on the other hand, must constantly remind others of its value.
  • Confidence is teachable. Whereas, egotism is not. It kills the capacity to learn because it thinks it already knows everything there is to know.
  • Confidence leads to growth. Egotism can only lead to stagnation and eventual destruction.

Two Opposites

Princess Diana, during her latter years, was the perfect example of confidence. Once she saw her worth, she traveled the world, helping the less fortunate.

On the other hand, Hitler was an example of egotism. His overinflated ego led to the destruction and loss of millions of innocent lives. His overstuffed ego produced intense hatred for all Jews and anyone else he saw as his enemy.

As we know, bullies aren’t confident, they’re egotistical. Again, we all have egos. However, not all of us have egotism. Therefore, egotism is bad because it often stems from negative feelings of anger, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, and fear.

Moreover, it’s the reason bullies often target those based on their weaknesses, the lower role they play and their stations in life.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Promotes Equality while Egotism Promotes Division

Confident people treat the janitor or the security guard with the same respect they would give the company president or the CEO. In contrast, egotistical bullies only will only mistreat the janitor and security guard while sucking up to the president and the CEO.

A confident person gives kindness and respect to those who can do nothing for him. In other words, he treats everyone equally regardless of difference or position. Ego-driven bullies only abuse those who can’t benefit them somehow.

Those who are confident have selfless motives and doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re a decent and moral person.

However, those who are ego-driven bullies are self-serving. With these types of personalities, it’s all about fame and name.

Putting ego aside means respecting those whom society deems beneath you and giving them the same human value. It means making an effort to understand those who are different from you and doing your best to help them as you would those most like you.

Egotism is when ego overrides humanity and places it in grave danger, whereas, confidence helps and saves it.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Saves Humanity, Egotism Destroys it.

Sadly, I’ve worked with people who were great people to get along with. But once they got that coveted promotion, they became people I no longer recognized.

Bullies often spend money beyond their means to buy expensive clothes and cars, trying to look like they’re better off than everyone else. However, this is a sure hallmark of egotism.

Unfortunately, many bullies get deep in debt and sometimes resort to thievery to get out of it. As a result, they end up in legal trouble, which is an example of the self-destruction that egotism can bring.

Therefore, be aware of these signs in other people. And be confident, but know where the line between confidence and egotism lies.

“Who do you think you are!”

Have you ever had people seemingly mistake your confidence for conceit? Or worse, get offended by it? And you knew it but never understood why?

Heaven forbid you actually have even a minuscule amount of self-esteem and take pride in your accomplishments.

Sadly, we live in a world that’s insecure, self-conscious, and unhappy. Therefore, there will be people who resent your spirit and your happiness.

Understand that environments that are very toxic and the toxic people within them have an intense hatred of those who are cheerful and have a strong sense of self.

Bullies are such people. But realize that, though they’d tell you differently, bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be because anyone who’s truly happy wouldn’t try to make others feel lousy.

Moreover, they wouldn’t resent the happiness, confidence, or successes of others.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Arrogance and egotism will try to tear down confidence.

I’ve dealt with these types of people- people who resented my confidence. Moreover, this was confidence that I’d worked hard to rebuild after having been severely bullied.

You could see it written all over their faces- the scowls, how their eyes would narrow and turn into slits! Their brows would furrow anytime they saw a smile on  anyone else’s face.

Can you imagine what they were thinking? You can just hear it.

“The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah!”

You probably hear the remarks too.

“She thinks too highly of herself and needs to be brought down a notch or two!”

“He’s an arrogant jerk!”

“She’s so uppity!”

“He loves himself too much!”

“She needs to bring herself down to earth with the rest of us!”

I could go on and on.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Your confidence will offend some.

Many people act as if being confident and loving yourself is wrong. The message you get is that it’s “selfish.” Also, some will tell you that you need to climb down off your high horse.

Maybe they say that you’ve gotten too big for your britches. They try to make you think that having confidence in yourself is something to be ashamed of.

You can practically hear your bullies shout in the style of Greta Thunberg, ”How dehhhhh you!”

Bullies tend to think that if you have pride in yourself, you’re sanctimonious. However, it’s okay for them to have it.

In their minds, confidence and pride should be reserved only for them and people like them. But woe unto you if you have even an ounce of self-value and to believe in yourself.

Therefore, continue to have confidence! There’s nothing wrong with it! Moreover, do whatever you must do to maintain it! Confidence is something you must guard with your life!

This post is all about the difference between confidence vs arrogance so that you can have the knowledge to rebuff any bullies who try to gaslight you into believing that being confident is wrong.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

unhealthy ways to deal with bullying in the community

Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

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Do you want to know unhealthy ways to deal with bullying so that you’ll know the exact behaviors to avoid? Here are things you shouldn’t do when being bullied so that you can overcome and emerge a winner!

unhealthy ways to deal with bullying

To know what to do in a case of bullying sometimes means knowing first what not to do. Here are the no-no’s when people bully you.

In this post, you will learn what not to do when bullies victimize you, so that you’ll handle their abuse more effectively.

Once you learn all about these faux pas, you will make yourself less a victim and emerge a victor!

This post is all about the 7 most unhealthy ways to deal with bullying so that you come come out on the other side of it much happier and healthier.

Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying

Bullying throws you into survival mode. If a situation is threatening and there’s no escaping it, you’ll often find other ways of coping.

Nevertheless, some of those coping mechanisms aren’t good ones. Anytime you’re stuck in a toxic environment, you may become desperate and do things you usually don’t do to either escape or for relief.

1. Don’t instigate fights between others to take the bad attention off you.

I say this because I did that.

Some victims of bullying will pit a few classmates against each other. If they know of a few who dislike or hate each other, they very quietly and slyly pit them against each other.

An offhand comment here, another there, and they’ll have them fighting among themselves. Although it’s a shady thing to do, some victims try to keep others fighting among themselves.

But, why do they do this?

a. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying: Reasons some victims instigate fights between others.

To distract the negative attention and hostility away from themselves

Although I don’t condone it, I do understand why some victims may do this. When you’re severely and chronically bullied, you become desperate to make it stop.

In other words, you’ll do anything and I mean anything to get a nice, albeit short, reprieve from all the drama. And sometimes, you may feel that,“ya gotta do what ya gotta do” to keep yourself safe.

So, you handle it the wrong way by keeping others too busy fighting each other to even think about you. It’s not that you’re trying to hurt anyone, all you want is to avoid the negative spotlight and keep yourself safe!

If you know of a few of your bullies who hate each other as much as they hate you, then perfect! You stoke the fires a little, and take advantage of it!

You very stealthily stir the pot between them because, as mentioned earlier, if you can keep them busy fighting each other, they’ll leave you alone. And let me tell you! It does work wonders!

But, heed this warning. This may keep people’s eyes off you for a little while. However, if someone happens to catch onto what you’re doing, the bullying you suffer will only skyrocket.

Moreover, you’ll be seen as a troublemaker. Now wouldn’t your bullies just love that!

They want to see someone else take heat for a change.

Why? Because it keeps them from feeling like they’re the only one being picked on. Therefore, this is more of a psychological payoff then anything else.

However, this isn’t the way to handle it.

c. Because they’re jealous of other people’s friendships and relationships.

Victims of bullying don’t only have to endure bullying and abuse. They also must sit on the sidelines and watch as other person enjoy all those social benefits of life.

Therefore, you’ll be tempted to cause friction in their relationships. Again, don’t! Because once they find out you pitted them against each other, they’ll only realign. And this time they’ll pursue you to the ends of the earth!

In other words, you’ll only make the bullying ten times worse!

I can’t stress this enough, don’t do it!

2. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying: You Bully people weaker than you.

But why?

It’s because you feel powerless. Therefore, you become a bully yourself to feel more powerful. But understand that, although this may be the reason, it’s never an excuse.

Moreover, know that, if this is not something you normally do, you will be remorseful for it one day. Moreover, you will feel the need to apologize to those you hurt.

And, you know what? You absolutely should!

It’s much better to align with the people who are weaker than you and become a friend to them. Never bully anyone because you’re being bullied. The last thing you should do is take your pain out on someone you deem lesser than you.

It only makes you just as lowdown as your bullies. Moreover, you’ll miss out on opportunities for friendship because the person you bully is likely targeted by the same people who bully you.

Therefore, wouldn’t it be better (and smarter) to take advantage of the common ground you share with this person and befriend them?

I guarantee that becoming a friend would be a win-win situation for you both!

3. You feign illness to keep from going to school or work.

Why? Because you know that once you walk through the entrance, bullies will be waiting to pounce. This is understandable. All you want is for the abuse to stop.

Therefore, you find excuses to stay home, where you can be safe. However, this only causes bad grades and poor work performance. Moreover, it can cause the school to charge you with truancy or to expel you.

If it’s a job, your manager can terminate you. Therefore, the best way to handle it is to find a way to transfer to a new school or begin looking for a new job.

Whatever the case, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment.

4. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying: You resort to deception, con games, and trickery.

Many victims become master manipulators.

For example, a bullied girl in middle or high school may fake being pregnant to trick her classmates into leaving her alone. Also, she may do this in hopes of keeping others from physically attacking her.

Or, she may dress in bigger clothes to make her classmates wonder if she’s expecting. Therefore, she may not actually come out and lie about it. Girls are subtle like that.

The bullied girl may letting their curiosity build and cause them to continue asking if she’s pregnant. Then, after a while, she may use sarcasm and tell them she is. Moreover, she’ll do it knowing good and well that her classmates will take it and run with it.

So, the classmates will blab to everyone that the bullied girl is pregnant. It’ll work for a while and the joke will be on them.

Also, the girl knows that if her classmates find out she isn’t pregnant and try to call her on it, she can turn it back on them by saying,

“Awwww, no! I didn’t lie about that! Are you so dimwitted that you don’t know sarcasm when you hear it? Boy, you’re a bunch of freaking morons!”

However, this will backfire on her. Her classmates, especially, those who bully her, will be furious because they’ll know she tricked them.

Therefore, the bullying will increase exponentially.

5. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying: You Self-Harm.

Self-harm can be fatal. Many victims of bullying have died due to self-harm. Some of the deaths are intentional and others unintentional. Still, if nothing else, you must know this.

Your bullies are NOT worth dying over. You must realize that you’re only giving your bullies exactly what they want. Bullies either consciously or subconsciously, wish to kill you.

Only most bullies don’t have the guts to commit murder because they know they’d land in prison. Therefore, they hope like the dickens that you do it for them. Yes. I said that.

Why do you think bullies tell their victims to kill themselves or that they’re better off dead? Understand that bullies want to harm you. So, don’t do it for them.

Suicide is not the answer. It’s a permanent fix to a temporary problem. Know that you won’t always be a target of bullying and what you’re enduring is only one chapter, not the entire book.

Please, love yourself enough to keep living. Know your worth. And know that your life matters and you have value.

6. You Get Emotional.

Remember that bullies always look for a reaction and enjoy seeing your pain. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Otherwise, they’ll keep coming back for more of that psychological payoff!

I understand that it hurts when people abuse you and I know the hopelessness it can bring. My heart goes out to you.

However, learn to see behind their behavior. In other words, learn the reasons bullies bully. I guarantee that you’ll feel so much better  when you do.

Also, their bad treatment won’t effect you as much once you learn where their meanness comes from.

7. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying:

You self-Medicate.

Drugs aren’t the answer either. The only thing it will do is ruin your health. Please love yourself enough to take care of your body. It’s the only one you’ve got and your bullies aren’t worth you getting sick.

8. You apologize too much.

When bullies target you, it’s easy to get into the habit of over-apologizing. And you do it emphatically, even when an apology isn’t necessary, to appease the abuser and avoid being harmed.

However, you must realize that a bully will take even a heartfelt apology and use it as a weapon!

Furthermore, your bullies will see it as confirmation that they’re right. Moreover, they’ll also see it as an admission that you are what they say you are, be it ignorant, clumsy, mentally imbalanced, whatever.

In short, any apology or admission serves bullies’ goals to re-enforce control over you.

In other words, to a bully without a conscience, “I’m sorry,” only reeks of surrender. Therefore, stop apologizing to them. They don’t deserve it.

Instead, find more powerful responses to use in place of an apology.

9. You Seek approval.

Hear this. You don’t need anyone else’s approval, especially the approval of bullies. The only approval that’s worth having is that of the people who love you for you and uplift you.

Therefore, don’t do anything to seek approval from people who don’t matter.

10. Unhealthy ways to deal with bullying:

You seek Attention.

The same goes for attention. You don’t need attention from these kinds of people. The only kind of attention you should have is that from people who love you and want what’s best for you.

Moreover, you don’t have to try so hard to get it from those who care the most about you. From them, it comes to you naturally.

Therefore, stop jumping through hoops for people who aren’t even worth your consideration. You’re better than that.

11. You Stay Silent Instead of Reporting it or talking about it

You don’t have to suffer in silence. Remember that bullying, as with any other form of abuse, thrives on you’re staying quiet.

Understand that you have a right to report it and you have a right to ask someone to help you. Moreover, you have a right to talk about it and tell your story.

If people are bullying you, don’t be quiet about it. Speak out!

This post lists the unhealthy ways of dealing with bullying so that you know what behaviors to avoid and seek better coping strategies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Insanely Easy Strategies

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

when you start seeing your worth as a human being

When You Start Seeing Your Worth,17 Amazing Changes Happen.

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‘Want to know all the amazing things that happen in your life when you start seeing your worth? Here are all the life changes you need to know.

when you start seeing your worth

Once you realize your worth, magical things begin to happen in your life. Amazing things you never thought possible!

In this post, you will learn all the awesome benefits that come when you start seeing your worth.

After you learn all these advantages, you will begin your journey to discovering just how much you’re loved and that you have a good purpose for being here.

This post is all about the amazing benefits you’ll see when you start seeing your worth so that you’ll be inclined to do the inner work and value yourself as a human being.

When You Start Seeing Your Worth

So, what happens when you start seeing your worth?

1. You refuse to have anything more to do with people who don’t.

 Sadly, when you’ve suffered bullying, your self-esteem has taken a beating. Therefore, it’s too easy to feel you must cling to people who could care less about you.

However, once you begin seeing your worth, you begin weeding out all those who use and abuse you. You refuse to say around people who only tolerate you. This is because you value your time and some people aren’t worth one second of it!

Therefore, you refuse to make time for those who talk down to you or use you.

By kicking out the losers, you make room for better people to come into your life. In short, you start placing less value on the quantity of friends and focus more on quality of friends.

Therefore, you finally attract friendships that are fulfilling.

2. You stop settling for less than what you know you deserve.

In other words, you raise your standards.  Not only are you selective of the people who come into your life. You begin applying for better jobs, and buying products of higher quality.

Moreover and most importantly, you command better service and better treatment. Therefore, you attract healthier people.

You accept nothing less than the best because you know you’re worth it!

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to be alone.

You come to a place where you’d rather fly solo than put up with shoddy treatment. Moreover, you actually like being alone and prioritize your “me time” to relax and recharge.

Here’s another thing. You don’t toil over being single. You’re just as happy without a mate as you would be with one. Therefore, you’re willing enjoy your singleness until the right person comes along.

And when you get to where you enjoy your solitude, that’s when you know you’ve grown!

4. You begin loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away from toxic people.

In other words, you’re no longer afraid to let go of fake friends and posers. And this goes even if a few of them happen to be those you love. And when you do let them go, you do it without concern over the outcome.

Moreover, you drop these people without guilt. Why? Because you know that it pays to be nit-picky of those you allow into your life.

5. You no longer give a damn what others think or say of you.

In other words, you’re not the least bit concerned with opinions. In fact, you actually embrace any dislike a few people have for you. Why? Because those people will no longer matter to you.

When you don’t care what other people think, you’re not afraid to put yourself and your needs first. Why? Because you realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Therefore, you don’t feel guilty because you know that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

6. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to set boundaries.

This means that you have the guts to say “no” to things you don’t want. And when you say it, you mean it.

You’re also not afraid to stand up to people who cross the line with you. In fact, you’re willing to put on your bitch-face when the situation calls for it.

You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. You realize that respect is a two-way street. Therefore, you live by the mantra that others aren’t entitled to your respect. They must earn it!

7. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Why? Because you know that mistakes are your best teachers. Therefore, you’re willing to learn from them. You also realize that no one is perfect. And that’s it’s okay.

8. You’re comfortable in your own skin.

In other words, you embrace the good, the bad, and downright ugly parts of yourself. You continue to feel beautiful whether you’re dressed in an evening gown or in your tee shirt, jeans and sneakers.

9. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re willing to take risks.

Why? Because you’re not afraid to fail. You know that if you do, you can always try and try again. Also, you know that if you try for long enough, you’ll eventually succeed.

So, you don’t quit. You keep going.

10. You look on the bright side.

In other words, you try to see the positive side to bad things that may happen. You may fail at doing this from time to time. However, you, at least search for the good side.

Therefore, your confidence doesn’t take such a big hit when things go wrong.

11. Your confidence goes through the roof.

In other words, you don’t fear rejection nor ridicule. Why? Because you realize that you’re just as good as the next person.

Again, you’re also not worried about who does or does not like you. Why? Because you like yourself, even if a few others don’t.

Therefore, you look forward to meeting new people.

12. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re a go-Getter.

In other words, if there’s something you want, you work hard for it. And you don’t stop until you get it.

If there are any roadblocks, you look for a detour. If you have setbacks, you keep working hard and power your way through it.

13. You work on your goals and follow your dreams.

If you have a dream, you aren’t afraid to strive for it, no matter how long it takes. Though haters and naysayers may try to discourage you, you pay them no mind.

Why? Because you see through the haters. You realize that their negative words only come from a place of jealousy. Moreover, you know that they’re only speaking from their own worldview.

Instead, you keep working toward your goals and dreams until you reach them.

14. You have nothing to prove to others.

You realize that the only person you must prove anything to is yourself. Therefore, you no longer feel the need to try to be someone you aren’t. Why? Because you know that your value is there even if others can’t see it.

you don’t waste time begging for approval. Moreover, you refuse to hang on to people who aren’t really your friends.

Therefore, you don’t waste your precious energy trying to impress those who aren’t worthy of you.

15. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You realize your potential.

You know who you are and what you’re made of. In other words, you are aware of your potential and the heights you can rise to.

You believe in yourself even if others don’t. And that’s what makes you so badass!

16. You’re not afraid to be yourself.

Therefore, you’re not afraid to be silly sometimes. In fact, you’re outgoing and others notice it.

Being fake takes too much work and you’re much too lazy to be fake. Therefore, you’re authentically you and it shows.

Moreover, you understand that fake personalities only draw in fake friends. you also know that to weed out toxic people requires you to be yourself.

In that, you keep the creeps at bay and make it a point to live life to the fullest.

17. When you start seeing your worth:

You give Yourself the best gift of all – Freedom!

Knowing your worth means self-acceptance. In other words, it means being okay with yourself, warts and all! Moreover, it’s giving yourself permission to feel those raw emotions any time some creep pisses you off.

Seeing your worth means freedom! The freedom to be human! To be you! And to celebrate yourself!

Therefore, get to know your worth and your life will change for the better!

This post is all about the life-changing things that begin to happen in your life when you start seeing your worth. Put simpler, it’s about the benefits you’ll reap once you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

6. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

bullying and banter examples

Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

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‘Want to know the differences between bullying and banter? Here are the most common distinctions you need to know about.

bullying and banter

In many situations, it’s tough to know the difference between bullying and banter. Are they laughing with you or at you? You may wonder.

In this post you will learn how to tell the differences between bullying and banter. Also, you’ll learn how to respond to bullies who try to make their bullying look like harmless fun.

Once you learn all these characteristics and how to tell them apart just by experiencing them, you will be better able to defend yourself when bullies try to disguise their abuse as teasing.

This post is all about the differences between bullying and banter and exactly what you can do to counter it.

Bullying and banter

“Can’t you take a joke!”

Bullies are notorious for that line when targets speak out and call them out on their abuse. It’s the most manipulative and dangerous, and popular excuse for crappy behavior.

Why? Because it uses social pressure to make you out to be a party pooper who doesn’t know how to relax and have a good time.

In other words, bullies use this old, worn-out comeback to cover themselves. Also, they employ this tactic to dupe bystanders and witnesses into believing that the abuse was just playful banter.

What’s worse is that it makes you look and feel like some dysfunctional whiner who’s just too sensitive and needs to lighten up.

But how do you know the difference between bullying and banter? Here are your answers:

1. There’s a power imbalance

With bullying, there’s always a power imbalance, and harm is intended. Also, the relationship is always harmful and abusive.

On the other hand, there’s no power imbalance with banter. In other words, each person is always on equal social footing with each other.

Banter is done strictly among friends, family members- people with equal power. There’s no harm intended, and people who exchange banter have a positive and fulfilling relationship.

2. In banter, people respect you enough to stay away from your “no-go zones”

Your “no-go zones” are often called your hot buttons or triggers. These are things that you’re insecure, embarrassed, or ashamed of.

Also, they can be any adverse experiences you’ve had in the past.

In banter, people know to stay away from those areas and won’t bring them up. Moreover, banter is never threatening to the other person.

Whereas, if it’s bullying, bullies will deliberately zero in on things they know you’re insecure about and will only continue to bring them up in front of an audience when they see that you’re upset.

3. The Difference between bullying and banter:

It all comes down to how it makes you feel and your relationship with the other person! 

If nothing else, know this! Anyone you have a negative or hostile relationship with does NOT get the privilege to banter or joke with you! Ever!

Understand that banter is only reserved for the people you feel good about! Because they know your triggers and remember never to go near those tender areas!

4. Always read the person’s nonverbal body language

If the person is smirking and snickering instead of genuinely smiling and laughing out loud, that’s a sign of contempt, and it’s more than likely bullying instead of banter.

Sadly, anytime the bully plays the “Can’t-You-Take-A-Joke” card, it’s too easy for you to get caught off guard. This often leaves you speechless or paralyzed with humiliation.

Many victims end up so upset they walk away feeling indignant. Why?  Because it’s sometimes difficult to adequately address the bully’s comeback without them gaslighting you and making you feel even lower!

How to Address This Kind of Bullying

Therefore, here is the perfect way to clap back at a bully who claims to be playing or joking. And, once you do this, you’ll walk away feeling great about yourself and that you handled it like a boss!

Bullying and Banter – Bullies Don’t get to Banter with you!

Shut them down by saying:

“Only my friends can joke with me like that! You’re not my friend, so you need to back off!”

Or,

“Newsflash! I don’t like you! You’re not my friend! So, you don’t get to say that, I don’t give a __ if you’re playing or not!”

And say it like you mean it! Then watch the bully pathetically slink away with their tail tucked between their legs! It has worked for me, and it’ll work for you too!

Harmless teasing,  playful banter, and comedy are all okay with people you feel good around. Sadly, it’s something that seems to be dying out today.

Too many people get triggered anymore by anything. And bullies seem to be the very people who are easily triggered and are constantly looking for something to get offended over.

However, there’s a difference between harmless teasing and cruel jokes. It’s normal to be offended over cruel jokes because they can be harmful.

Bullying and Banter:

What’s the difference between harmless teasing and cruel jokes?

1. Cruel jokes poke fun of things you’re insecure about, such as your height, weight, nose and ear size, and other hot spots.

Harmless teasing stays away for those hot spots.

2. Cruel jokes continue even after you express hurt and discomfort.

Harmless teasing immediately stops if there’s even the slightest hint that you’re uncomfortable with it.

In short, harmless teasing is harmless and done all in good fun. Cruel jokes, on the other hand, can be damaging to a person’s self-esteem and should be avoided.

Bullying and Banter:

Are they laughing with you or at you?

Many targets are abused for so long that they simply lose trust in people and withdraw from everyone. Also, in social situations, many targets mistakenly assume that those they’re with are laughing at them when they’re really laughing with them.

Make this mistake and it can cause a rift between you and someone who’s a well-meaning friend. This is the last thing you want!

So, how can you tell whether someone is laughing with you or at you?

Here’s how:

1. Laughing with you

There’s always eye contact.

In other words, the person is looking at you and interacting with you while laughing. Moreover, you have a good relationship with the person and there’s no power imbalance. In other words, the person sees you as an equal and you know it.

Laughing at you

There’s absolutely no eye contact.

In fact, the person is looking around at everyone else but you while laughing. Also, you do not have a good relationship with the person. There may or may not be bad history between you and the person.

Therefore, here’s your cue to tell this person that if they think it’s a joke, it’s not and that they need to step all the way off!

2. Laughing with you

The person doesn’t hold the laughter in. Instead, the laughter happens automatically and spontaneously.

Laughing at you

The laughter usually pauses first. And they don’t laugh out loud but only snicker and snort. Some may cover their mouths while snickering.

Again, now’s the time to tell them to get bent.

3. Bullying and Banter: Laughing with you

How does the person treat you once the laughter is over? They’re generally good to you and they enjoy being around you.

Laughing at you:

On the other hand, the person treats you with contempt and they won’t hang around. They may even make a snide remark to you on their way out to go laugh at you behind your back.

Therefore, have nothing more to do with them.

It also depends on context.

4. Laughing with you

The laughter is deep and the person’s natural laugh.

Laughing at you

There’s “mocking laughter”, where the person imitates your laugh.

The person isn’t laughing because you’ve done anything wrong or foolish, or because there’s anything wrong with you. Instead, they’re laughing at you to bring you down.

Moreover, they’re doing it to boost their own social status or to feel better about themselves.

Therefore, tell this person exactly where they can go!

5. Bullying and Banter: Laughing with you

The person generally has good feelings toward you and is having fun or being playful.

Laughing at you

The person has a hostile and hurtful attitude toward you. They’re enjoying your pain, humiliation or weakness.

In conclusion:

The sooner you recognize these differences, the sooner you’ll avoid the wrong people. Moreover, the quicker you’ll be able to enjoy more rewarding relationships.

This is because you’ll be better able to recognize and avoid those who wish to inflict emotional harm. Moreover, you’ll have the confidence to stand up to them any time they get out of line with you.

And when your relationships flourish, just imagine the fun you’ll have with the people who truly love and care about you and how much better you’ll feel when you do!

This post was all about how to recognize bullying and banter so that you can respond appropriately and preserve your personal dignity.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

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‘Ever wondered why you have a fear of setting boundaries? Do you want to know what you can do about it? Here’s why you’re afraid to stick up for yourself and ways you can turn it around.

fear of setting boundaries

Many victims of bullying have a fear of setting boundaries. Why, because bullies have taken their confidence, self-esteem and personal power.

This is heartbreaking because when you’re too afraid to set boundaries, your human rights go out the window. Moreover, it makes for a miserable existence because you’re at the mercy of other people’s whims.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you have such a fear of setting boundaries and what you can do to change it and get your life back.

Once you learn all the reasons, you will be more compelled to squash that fear and begin acting and speaking in your own behalf. In that, you’ll eventually take back your autonomy and freedom.

This post is all about the fear of setting boundaries, why you have it, and what you can do to change it so that you can finally take back control of your life!

Fear of Setting Boundaries

All too often, victims of bullying have a hard time setting boundaries. Many just keep their mouths shut, grin and bear it while others wipe their feet all over them.

Therefore, they suffer in silence and obscurity, which only further damages their mental health. If being used as a rug hurts so much, why do they allow it to continue?

There are several reasons:

1. You don’t have the confidence.

Many targets of bullying, like you, feel helpless and simply think it wouldn’t do them any good. Therefore, they see no point in speaking up because they know that they’ll likely get bullied worse for it.

Remember that bullying, like any other form of abuse, thrives on your silence. Therefore, it takes confidence to set boundaries, which, sadly, is something few bullying victims have.

Also, as we know, bullies don’t respect boundaries because they don’t acknowledge them. In their minds, you’re a victim.

To them,  you have no rights and deserve no human dignity. Bullies don’t see you as a human being, deserving of the same human rights as everyone else. That’s a fact.

Therefore, they feel they have carte blanche to abuse you and expect you to stay quiet about it. However, don’t be afraid to speak out in your behalf. Even more importantly, don’t fear standing up to the bullies.

Understand that you have just as much of a right as anyone else to defend yourself and to ensure your own safety. So, don’t wait on anyone else to help you. Protecting yourself from harm is your responsibility.

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries:

You feel powerless to stop the abuse.

Again, setting boundaries is anything but easy- it’s one of the hardest things to do after people have bullied you for so long. Why?

Because they’ve brainwashed you into thinking you’re to blame for their horrid behavior.

Many victims have been abused for so long that they’ve “gotten used to it.” In other words, bullies and their sycophants have conditioned the targets to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over them.

Moreover, many times, targets have been fooled into believing that setting boundaries is selfish.

This is why you cave in to the bullies’ demands. You may feel it’s safer just to give them what they want and pacify them.

3. You fear the bullies will retaliate.

This is understandable. Bullies can put the fear of God in you if you don’t know your rights.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you may badly want to tell your abusers to knock it off. You may want to tell them to get the hell away from you and stay away. You may even want to fight back, but you don’t know how they may react.

Another thing you don’t know is whether they’ll accept your boundaries, nor if they’ll want to accept them. Moreover, you know that there’s a chance the bullies may act violently toward you for having the chutzpah to speak against their abuse.

Bullies despise even a hint of opposition because they see it as your challenging their power and perceived authority. Therefore, they’ll do whatever they can to tighten their grip if they suspect you’re defying them. And sometimes, things get dangerous, and you must do it scared.

However, what you may not realize is this. When you set boundaries, you enact your autonomy and speak from a place of self-care and self-love. You decide what you will and won’t tolerate. Therefore, you take your power back.

4. Fear of Setting Boundaries:

You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve the abuse.

If you’ve been bullied for a long time, your bullies may have gaslighted you into believing that you somehow deserve the abuse. However, let me assure you. You don’t!

No matter how they blame you for their behavior, I repeat, you do not deserve to be bullied. And I say this with full conviction!

Therefore, realize that bullies know that what they’re doing is wrong. They have to know it. Otherwise, they wouldn’t demand that you stay silent about the abuse. Moreover, they wouldn’t work so damn hard to convince you that you did something to make them behave the way they do.

They also wouldn’t spend the time searching for any justification for their bullying. And they wouldn’t constantly go around spreading falsehoods about you to everyone who’ll listen.

Remember, bullying takes a lot of work. In other words, bullies must work hard to maintain their phony facades and cover up their lies and abuse. Moreover, they must also work hard to keep you powerless.

5. You Fear Physical Retaliation.

I understand the intense fear of getting beat up. No one looks forward to being attacked on the playground, in the bathroom, or in the company parking lot.

However, if your bullies have threatened physical violence for defending yourself, then you must be willing to fight and not back down.

In other words, you either face your fear and fight back or continue being scared and living under the thumb of bullies.

The choice is yours. And you never know. If you fight back, you just might beat the living snot out of your bully and stop them from messing with you. It’s amazing what you can do when you’re in a survival situation!

Fear of Setting Boundaries:

Before you’re able to stand up for yourself, you must be clear of what you will not accept.

Again, it takes confidence to stand up to a bully. It would be best if you also gave up your old self-protective behaviors. In other words, stop the defense mechanisms you tried in the past that failed.

Why? Because these defense mechanisms are ways your bullies and a few other abusers in your life have conditioned you to respond.

So, what behaviors are we referring too here? In other words, what defense mechanism do you need to stop doing?

  • You must stop over-apologizing.
  • You must stop trying to explain yourself to anyone.
  • Stop trying to figure out what made the bullies so hostile.
  • Stop wondering what you did wrong.
  • You must stop wondering if something’s wrong with you.
  • You must stop asking, “why me.”

Before you can stand up to abuse, you must squash the mentality that compels you to use any of the ineffective measures above.

You must understand that all the why me, why this, why that, gets you nowhere. And all the wracking your brains wondering and trying to figure out what’s wrong also serves no purpose. It’s a complete waste of time and only makes you feel worse.

Instead, be real with yourself and conclude that your bullies are just a bunch of ignorant, moronic jackasses who lack character and live fake existences. Also, you must learn to trust yourself, which includes trusting your body and how it feels.

Moreover, trust everything you see, hear, feel, sense, and the vibes you pick up from the people around you. And finally, trust your decisions. And realize that, sometimes, it takes dogged determination to defend yourself from bullies.

In other words,

  • Even if your bullies rationalize and justify their behavior, you won’t take their crap.
  • Though they may blame you for their despicable behavior, you won’t take it.
  • Even if they tell you that you’re cr4zy or mentally imbalanced, you won’t accept their bullshit.
  • Though they call you a bitch, an asshole, or any other degrading name, you won’t put up with it.
  • Even if you made a mistake and your bullies call it out in an abusive manner, you won’t take it.
  • And, for the love of Pete! If the bullies commit physical violence, you definitely won’t take that!  Put up those dukes and throw down if you need to! Or, if you must, get the police involved, file charges, and sue for any damages!

Fear of Setting Boundaries:

Understand that it’ll take calling your bullies out every single time they cross the line.

You can say:

  • “Stop it!”
  • “Cut it out!”
  • “Knock it off!”
  • “Get away from me!”
  • “Get out!”

You get power just by loudly giving either one of these commands. And who knows? I’m not making any guarantees here, but you might shock your bullies back to reality and make them leave you alone.

There were times when I was pleasantly surprised, and it worked for me.

You do not have to walk on eggshells around anyone! Know that you do have a choice and a voice. You can choose not to accept the bullies’ behavior. And, if nothing else, know this!

You have more power than you know. Fear is thinking you don’t have the power you actually do have.

So, stick to your guns and hold your ground!

This post was all about the reasons for your fear of setting boundaries and what you can do to squelch your fear and take back your power and your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

2. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

6. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

signs someone is gaslighting you in a relationship

Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

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‘Want to know the signs someone is gaslighting you and the symptoms you have while it’s happening?

signs someone is gaslighting you

When people gaslight you, you may not know it but you’ll feel it if you pay attention. Victims of gaslighting often start out as confident and level-headed people.

However, once a gaslighter gets a hold of them, they can go on such a downward spiral. They continue this decline until their confidence and self belief are completely stripped of them and they become shells of their former selves.

In this post, you will learn the 13 signs that someone is gaslighting you. These are the symptoms you feel in your mind, body, and heart.

Once you learn all these physical and psychological effects, you will be better able to recognize it not only in the other person’s behavior, but also in how you feel.

This post is all about the signs someone is gaslighting you so that you can recognize it when it happens and decide on a course of action to get away from your gaslighter.

Signs Someone is Gaslighting You

Bullies are notorious for gaslighting their victims, as are domestic, child, and sexual abusers. In reality, bullies are abusers and abusers are bullies. However, that’s the topic of another post.

As we know, when a target speaks out about the abuse and begins defending themselves, bullies are quick to paint the target as cr*zy. Moreover, they will try to reverse the roles to make the victim look like the bully.

They may even try to convince the victim that what happened didn’t really happen. The bully/abuser might say that it was all in the targeted person’s imagination. Also, bullies may accuse the victim of being overly sensitive or overreacting.

Therefore, if you’re someone who is gaslighted, understand that bullies will gaslight you to shut you up. And they want you to stay silent about the abuse so that they can keep their moral high ground and continue looking good to others.

Moreover, they do it to make you doubt your sanity. Now, you may ask what they have to gain from this.

Realize that these bullies know that if they can make you doubt your own sanity, then it’s a sure bet that others will doubt it too.

It’s tough to recognize what these bullies are doing because, in most cases, others may agree with them. Others outside the bully/victim relationship may believe that you really are mentally unbalanced, or too sensitive.

And when others agree with them, you’ll feel even more compelled to say, “well, maybe I really am overreacting. Therefore, you just clam up and go along with it to keep from being further bullied and gaslighted.

So, what are the signs someone is gaslighting you?

Simple. You know just by how it makes you feel. Here are the symptoms:

1. You constantly second guess yourself.

It’s a brutal cycle. You say something, make a judgement call, maybe a decision, and then you turn right around and begin wondering if you said or did the right thing.

This is bad because second-guessing ourselves can cause us to feel stuck in life, and there are few worse things than feeling stuck.

Moreover, you’re hyper-self-aware, self-conscious, and always on guard to make sure you do and say the right thing all the time. Realize that too much second guessing can cause you to do and say the wrong things out of nervousness. That’s no way to live!

How you solve this problem is to stop worrying about what others think. Also, understand that your first instinct will usually be the correct one.

 2. You wonder if you’re imagining things or being too sensitive and you do it several times a day.

They don’t call it “crazymaking” for nothing because it can drive you cr*zy. In other words, when people are constantly taking pot shots at you, you hesitate to make any comebacks.

Why? because, again, you’re too busy doubting yourself and putting too much value on the opinions of others.

The best way to solve this problem is to trust what you feel and go with it. You may get bullied harder for it, but wouldn’t you feel better about yourself later, knowing that you stood up to those creeps?

3. Signs someone is gaslighting you:

You over-apologize.

You apologize for trivial stuff that anyone else could do and probably get away with. Moreover, you apologize for other people’s behavior.

You may even apologize for having to go to the bathroom! In short, you apologize for everything!

Therefore, understand that some things do not require an apology. Know what those things are, then flat refuse to give any apologies. There’s no need for apologies when people are treating you like doody!

4. You’re confused all the time.

Should you do this or that, say this or that? You live in constant confusion. Again, stop worrying about what others will think or say. This is your life! Don’t waste another second of it jumping through hoops for people who don’t give two hoots about you.

Stand up to them and tell them to go @$%# themselves! Then sever ties, baby! Walk away from them without even looking back!

5. You’re never happy but feel you should be.

That’s a dead ringer that you’re being gaslighted! Why? Because when people gaslight you even for feeling a certain way, this is what happens.

Therefore, realize that your feelings are right on target. You should be happier. Only you have a gaslighting abuser in your life holding you back from the happiness you so richly deserve. And, what’s worse is that you’re enabling them!

Please understand that in no way am I blaming you. However, you must realize that you have more power than you’re being led to believe you have.

It’s time for you to get angry and tell these people to go kick rocks! Life’s too short to put up with people who mistreat you! You deserve better!

6. Signs someone is gaslighting you:

You make excuses for other people’s behavior.

This especially happens when you have fake friends who only use and abuse you. You don’t want others to know what they’re doing to you because you already know.

Moreover, you’re riddled with shame over it. It can be embarrassing when the people you call friends disrespect you because you end up looking pathetic to others.

Hence, you make excuses for them not only to hide the shame of being treated like a pile of manure, but also, to keep your abusers from being angry and making you pay for it later.

However, the only way to stop the abuse is to face the truth and ditch these fakers! Realize that, if you must make excuses for people who only bully and abuse you, they can’t be friends.

It’s time to show them OUT! And the sooner you do, the better off you’ll be!

7. You lie to avoid being ridiculed or put down, even about things you should have nothing to worry about.

When you feel you must lie about things that are not a big deal, that’s definitely a red flag! People are going to ridicule you no matter what. So, why lie about anything?

Ask yourself this question. Who are these chumps that you should have to lie?

The best thing to do is to be honest. Then, if they have a problem with it, tell them to shove off. It’s better to be honest then to live in regret, wishing you had spoke your mind when they were the ones being abusive.

Show these morons the door! Fast!

8. Signs someone is gaslighting you:

You feel that you’ve changed- that you’re no longer the confident and outgoing person you used to be.

You’ve noticed a change in yourself and it isn’t a good one. You’re not the happy and healthy person you once were and, chances are, you don’t know why.

Therefore, this is the time to begin evaluating all your relationships and know who your abusers are. Once you figure out who’s making you feel so rotten, you must make some tough decisions as to who to keep in your life and who to let go.

9. You feel like you can’t do anything right.

Its not that you can’t do anything right. It’s just that you’re allowing yourself to be forced to live life on someone else’s terms and not your own.

Moreover, your bullies are forcing you to live up to their standards and not yours. Again, life is too short to be anything but happy. Therefore, gather the courage to make the changes you must make to salvage your peace.

This means establishing and setting boundaries. Then, you must be ready to enforce those boundaries if ever the need arises.

You must not allow a single soul to disrupt your peace and your happiness.

10.  You feel hopeless.

I’ve been there. However, you must realize that nothing is hopeless. Especially if people bully and abuse you. It’s not easy to leave a toxic workplace when you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Therefore, quietly begin looking for new employment now and line something up.

Then, when a new job comes up, quit!

The same goes if you have a partner who abuses and gaslights you. Start putting money away or reach out to your family to provide a place for you until you get a job.

The idea is to get away from the gaslighters in your life.

11. Signs someone is gaslighting you:

You wonder if you’re good enough.

Trust me! You are good enough! You’ve only been led to believe that you aren’t. Understand that people have succeeded in breaking your confidence. Therefore, you must begin working hard to regain that confidence!

How you start is to find ways to get rid of the gaslighter in your life.

 12. You know something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

Realize that being gaslighted day in and day out causes you to eventually lose yourself. In other words, it causes you to lose sight of who you are and once that happens, bullies and abusers will have you exactly where they want you.

Therefore, understand that some things are not so clear and that there are situations that we won’t get direct and easy answers to. That is why it’s so important to go with how you feel. Listen to your body. Put another way, listen to your gut.

“Trust your feelings, Luke.” – Yoda (Star Wars)

In most cases, the way you feel will be all the answers you need.

And once you go with your feelings, find a way to rid yourself of the life-leeches (if possible). It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal, get yourself back, and live a peaceful, happy, and purposeful life.

13. You Feel Trapped.

This goes especially for abused partners. It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be anything but! However, gather the courage to do what you must to take back your personal power and your life.

It may take a while and you will go through a grieving process. However, once you’ve gone through the sadness, you will be amazed at how much freer and more empowered you’ll be.

Moreover, you’ll have peace and happiness like you never thought possible.

This post was all about the signs someone is gaslighting you and the symptoms that go with it to prompt you to make the changes necessary for your self-esteem and mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

open letter to bullies at school

Open Letter to Bullies: From One who Overcame

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Here is an open letter to bullies from a victim who survived and overcame them. These are the words victims want to say to their bullies someday.

open letter to bullies

open letter to bullies

Sometimes it’s does victims good to write an open letter to bullies… without sending it, of course. Here is what millions of victims around the world would love to say to their bullies.

In this post, you will read an open letter to bullies so that  you can get a sneak peek into the mind of every victim of bullying.

Once you learn what victims of bullying really think, not only will you relate to these words if you’ve even been bullies, but you will understand that you aren’t alone in your fight.

This post is all about the open letter to bullies and what victims think but almost never get the chance to say.

Open Letter to Bullies

Much to your chagrin, I’m no longer the naive kid of yesterday, but the wise adult of today. And the beauty of getting older is the wisdom you store up and the realization that you’re perfect just the way you are and always have been.

Moreover, you realize that you never needed certain people in the first place and that some people don’t belong in your life.

Another great thing about getting older is that you become completely secure and comfortable in your own skin. You can speak your mind no matter who sees and hears it because you could care less what others think.

Who are you, anyway? Who are any of you to think you can define anyone?

I’m the only one who can decide who I am because I’m the only one who has that kind of power.

So many people tell me things, and it is people you’d never expect. ‘You know. Those who tell you stories of people you could care less about and regardless of whether you want to hear them? Yeah, those types.

Believe it or not, some of them are people you think are your friends.

Oh, yeah! They stop me in places like the supermarket and the gas station, or when I’m just passing through. They tell me that many of you keep up with my social media posts and regularly read my blog. Yep. I know all about it.

So, I don’t doubt that you’ll read this blog post too. Therefore, I’m writing this to help you indulge yourselves. Because you only expose yourselves and your obsession.

Open Letter to Bullies:

Most people are blessings, you, on the other hand, were only lessons.

To be real, I could care less about what or how any of you are doing. Because you were only people God was teaching me to look out for. In other words, you were lessons, not blessings. And the things I take away from having the displeasure of even knowing you are these:

That if I can survive your obsessive bullying and mobbing for six long years, then I can survive anything. Oh, yes! You most certainly showed me my own strength, resilience, and determination.

You showed me the type of people I don’t want in my life and who aren’t good enough to be in it. Moreover, you showed me the type of person I never want to become.

You gave me a much better appreciation for the real friends I have today. Also, you gave me a thick skin and a fighting spirit.

You gave me clarity- clarity of what I want and what I will and will not tolerate. Additionally, you gave me the confidence to know that hard times are only temporary and they will eventually pass.

Your degradation gave me the drive and determination to have what I want out of life. And your bullying was the motivation I needed to work hard and keep going after it until I reach my dreams.

You gave me the desire not only to learn and improve my knowledge of bullying.  You also gave me the will to use what you tried to do to protect other innocents from people like you.

Open Letter to Bullies:

You didn’t destroy me, you only motivated me.

Also, you gave me the ability to spot a liar and fake a mile away… in the dark! It’s funny how dealing with the likes of you can give one the ability to point out other liars and fakes without ever meeting them.

Therefore, I survived because my determination to remain standing superseded your desperation to tear me down. I overcame because the fire inside me burned hotter and brighter than the fire you ignited around my feet.

My efforts to reach happiness and success outmatched your efforts to keep me miserable and in failure. Moreover, my strength to keep going was much bigger than the force you expended to stop me.

I prevailed against odds that would’ve been overwhelming for the likes of you.

I graduated because I kept pushing myself and went on living through enormous threats and terrible circumstances. These were pressures under which you wusses would’ve dropped out of school.

Most people would’ve hated you. But I don’t. ‘You know why?

Because hate is a waste of energy, I’d rather spend my energy focusing on my goals. I’m too busy working on myself and pursuing my own agenda to hate on anyone. I make it about me. That’s right, all about me, my family, and my goals.

You only made a winner out of me.

I’ll give you this much. For a while, you had me down and even managed to keep me there during school. I forgot who I was. Or maybe without meaning to, I allowed you to take the knowledge of who I was from me. You even succeeded in making me out to be the troubled one.

And while you bullied, harassed, name-called, slut-shamed, shoved, tripped, jumped, beat, choked, and kicked me- even threatened my life with a blade on two different occasions; I was told to ignore it, to toughen up, and not to snitch.

Even worse, you had the chutzpah to tell me to be thankful that your abuse wasn’t worse and to just take it in silence.

Open Letter to Bullies:

But it didn’t last.

You couldn’t keep me in your little box. And once I slipped through your fingers, I began to flourish.

In the end, you only made a fighter and a winner out of me. You ended up making me more determined to love myself.  The girl who used to finish last now finishes first. Why? Because I put myself first.

When you all attacked me, others judged me unfairly and brutalized me- bystanders and even those I thought were friends. And that was worse because the betrayal was more devastating than the bullying and mobbing itself.

Oh, yes. I’ll admit. People, even a few school staff, only scoffed when I went to them for help. They sneered when I tried to explain to them the hell you were putting me through.

When I needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, they only ignored me. When I needed someone to care, understand, and make sense of what was happening, they abandoned me.

Therefore, for a while, you won.

I even went against my better judgment and asked many of you why. Not even you could give me a straight answer.  This should’ve been my first clue that none of you knew why you acted so ignorant. Chances are, you still don’t.

Though I was only a kid and didn’t realize it back then, it’s only proof that you had no excuse nor justification for the simple way you behaved. And the most astonishing part was you didn’t need any evidence of any wrongdoing to launch your petty attacks.

Open Letter to Bullies:

I’m No Longer Afraid of You.

The fact that no one cared about the truth nor even asked is only further proof that you all bullied and mobbed out of pure spite, ignorance, and stupidity.

 Furthermore, the same three afflictions are why a few teachers, who followed your lead, also bullied me to the point of considering a lawsuit.

A few even escalated the vitriol because they saw me as a threat.

Those few so-called teachers were afraid that I would file citing discrimination based on a perceived disability. Why? Because they found out about the daily journals, I kept each school day, documenting everything!

And I’ll never forget their reactions (and those of some of you) each time you all saw me writing. Therefore, it’s hilarious when I look back now because some of you seemed pretty desperate and afraid!

And the few spineless, undeserving losers that I was a fool to call friends? (Scoff) They didn’t have the stones to have my back, which means that I didn’t have any friends at OHS. So, should it matter to any of you if I speak up or stay silent?

You’re entitled to your opinion but not my respect, you never earned that.

I can be honest about it now because none of you are anyone I need to impress. Moreover, I surely don’t owe any of you anything- not even respect because you did nothing to earn it from me. So, you get none here.

And the few rotten apples who called themselves teachers? I now realize they only fell for your lies and smear campaigns out of sheer stupidity.

Those teachers, who were supposed to be adults, only allowed themselves to regress into children by joining you in your evil and spiteful attacks. Therefore, they weren’t smart at all, they were only educated idiots.

Open Letter to Bullies:

Dropping names isn’t my style.

Far be it from me to put anyone’s names out there because I won’t go that low. It’s not my style. However, I already suspect you know which teachers I’m referring to. Moreover, you know who you are. So, I’ll leave it there.

With you, the excuse was always, “I’m afraid of her!” or “She’s cr4zy!” However, the reality was that I was much more afraid of you than you ever were of me. But deep down, most of you were already aware of it.

Oh yeah. I know and you do too. I knew it back then; only I was too afraid to voice it because I knew what most of you would do if I opened my mouth. Oh, yes. You got that one for free. I was afraid of you all back then.

But the difference between then and now is that I’m not anymore. Now that I’m a grown woman, I’m not afraid of any of you. I don’t have to see any of you. You can’t touch me now. And you’re exactly where you belong- out of my life.

The Beauty of Age

It’s funny how age tends to embolden you and fill you with confidence. Moreover, you get less afraid as you grow older.

Therefore, I can say pretty much anything I want. And I say it loud and proud. Even better, I make speaking out about people like you my livelihood, my bread and butter, and my niche!

Therefore, in bullying me, you were only paving my path for me. In trying to instill fear, you only encouraged me. In trying to keep me down, you only uplifted me! And in turning others against me back then, you ultimately made me truer friends now than I ever could’ve imagined back then.

Now, you must ask yourselves what good all that meanness did in the long run. Also, ask yourselves where it got you. Because it certainly didn’t help any of you reach the top!

It didn’t get you fame or fortune because none of you ever went anywhere.

Open Letter to bullies:

Through Your resentment, you only expose your guilt.

And now, thanks to the book, more and more people know the truth. They know what really happened- more people than you ever thought would find out back when we were in school.

Even though I wasn’t out for revenge when I wrote the book, and therefore, had the common decency to conceal your real names and omit certain events that would’ve called you out for the devils you are, I consciously chose not to identify your sorry selves.

So, go ahead, show some chutzpah. Get offended, get angry, talk smack, I don’t care.

‘You see? The thing you don’t realize is that by getting your noses out of joint about the book, you unwittingly called yourselves out! By opening your mouths, you exposed yourselves as I already knew you would! So, who’s the “retard” now?

Again, I concealed your real names, which is more than what you deserved. Nevertheless, you get your emotions so stirred up you end up telling off on yourselves! So, I ask again. Who are the foolish ones?

‘You see? Here’s the thing. If someone had written a book about me and exposed me and all my dirt, but changed the name? I would’ve been smart enough to zip my lips and not to let on that the book was about me!

Moreover, I would’ve put on a poker face because I wouldn’t want anyone to know that I was one of the idiots who acted so immature back in the day. Only a fool would have let on that they were one of the brutes that mistreated a person so horribly. Especially if that person was powerless to defend herself!

Open Letter to Bullies:

Bullies no longer get the glory they once did.

And here another newsflash. Today, bullies don’t get the glory they got back in the ‘1980s. People look down on bullies nowadays! Why? Because they see them for the scared little cowards they truly are.

And let me address the immature, psychop4thic adults who’ve sent me threatening and nasty messages off and on for the first three years after the book was launched.

Heads up, folks!  I’ve both screenshotted and saved them all “just in case.” And I’ve already exposed one woman. Don’t be the next person I plaster all over the internet. Because I will, in essence, parade you naked before the eyes of the entire free world.

Lastly, if anything happens to me, anything at all, that book will be seen as a possible motive. Many, many people will come around, asking questions. And who do you think they’ll come to?

Who do you think those people will want answers from? Are you willing to take that risk?

The entire class will be under a microscope, and everyone will know what the possibilities are. But that’s all it takes. Isn’t it? And you’d know that better than anyone, wouldn’t you?

All it takes is one accusation. One offhand comment. One motive. The slightest suspicion. That’s it.

In closing, I want to thank you for making me the woman I am today.

This post was an open letter to bullies so that you can discover what most victims of bullying think. Also, you can have the courage to write your own if people bully you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies 

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

6. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It