the difference between bullying and accountability psychology

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability

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 ‘Want to know the difference between bullying and accountability? Here are all the details you need to know.

the difference between bullying and accountability

Some people tend to claim the victim role when faced with consequences for their bad behavior. Bullies do this all the time.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between bullying and accountability. You will also learn why consequences are needed to ensure a peaceful society.

Once you learn all about these essential facts, you will be able to confidently call out someone’s bad behavior. Moreover, you’ll be ready when they accuse you of being a bully.

This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability. This is so that it won’t confuse you when bullies accuse you of bullying just for exposing their evil actions.

Trigger warning: Although I usually keep politics out of this blog, Bullying and politics go hand in hand. Therefore, a minimal amount of it will be touched on in this particular post. So, if you are easily offended, I would advise you not to read. If you do read this post, do so at your own risk.

The Difference between bullying and accountability

I received an email yesterday. The author of this email tried to shame me. They say that I called my bullies names and that it weakens the cause. Fair enough. They have a right to their opinion. And I respect their opinion, though I disagree with it.

In fact, I’m thankful for that email because it prompted me to write a post on a subject that has needed to be addressed for a long time now. It’s time that we learn the difference between bullying and consequences.

Bullying is about doing harm to someone who has done nothing to you. Accountability is about forcing someone to take RESPONSIBILITY for their bad behavior.

Most victims of bullying are good people who do not harm others. In fact, most of them have hearts of gold. And it’s why bullies and abusers take their kindness for weakness.

Bullying is about trying to hurt those who have done nothing to hurt you. You don’t have to provoke a bully.

Bullies are always on the hunt for victims. They go after those who have a characteristic they see as a weakness or someone they perceive as a threat to their power.

Accountability, on the other hand, is the consequences you suffer for bad deeds. It comes in many forms. People may call you out and expose you for evil actions. You may lose friends and associates, or your business may take a hit.

If you’re a kid, your school may suspend you. Also, your parents may ground you. If you’re an adult, you may lose your job or go to jail. When you try to attack someone, they may defend themselves and kick your tail up between your shoulders. Again, this is not bullying; it’s consequences.

And we need consequences to live in a safe and peaceful society.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

When you Set out to harm someone else, you forfeit your rights to dignity and respect

The epidemic of entitlement on this rock blows my mind. Too many think that they can do all the violence they want, but no one is supposed to hold them responsible for it.

Moreover, when someone does impose consequences on them, the first thing they do is scream, “bullying.” Bullies are notorious for this. And there is a name for such individuals. We call them a “crybully.”

The term is a combination of the terms “bully” and “crybaby.” Therefore, you get “crybully.”

Here’s a fact that most in today’s politically correct world don’t want to hear. In fact, they’ll probably get angry and label me a hypocrite. But do what you like, I’ll say it anyway.

When you deliberately try to hurt innocent others, you automatically forfeit any right to respect and dignity. Criminals forfeit not only their right to dignity and respect, but also their freedom when they commit crimes.

However, today, schools and workplaces coddle bullies. And the powers that be coddle criminals with the infamous “Catch and Release” and “Cashless bail.”

In fact, media outlets try to shame us for calling these predators what they are. Names, such as “thugs, monsters, terrorists, murderers, rapists,” and a host of others, are considered politically incorrect.

However, to hold bad people accountable, we need to stand up to PC because it is the downfall of society. We need to grow a spine and start calling evil individuals and groups what they are (i.e., Antifa = terrorists), it doesn’t matter who they are or what side they’re on.

Tell them what they are because they gave up their rights when they did wrong to others.

The Difference between bullying and accountability:

Too many people want to cry “bullying” when someone exposes their bad behavior.

The truth is that bad people hate having their conscience thumped at. Therefore, they whine and complain when someone calls them out. They reverse the roles of victim and perpetrator.

Many use their minority status or sexual orientation as crutches. You know what I’m talking about. You see it every day now. And they do this because they’re nothing but cowards.

However, wrong is wrong; it doesn’t matter your race, class, nationality, or sexual orientation. When you hurt someone, all that other BS is irrelevant! The only thing that matters is that you murdered someone, or you physically assaulted, raped, or bullied them.

It’s funny how tough these monsters are when they’re hurting someone else. But under the threat of accountability, they turn into the biggest cowards.

It’s time we start imposing consequences on those who do evil. This is why I urge those who are bullied to defend themselves- to stand up to bullies because most people in power will not hold evil responsible for their actions.

Therefore, if you’re bullied, it’s your responsibility to set boundaries and ensure your safety. And no law says you have to censor your words when it comes to this. Call your bullies and other evil people what they are.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

It’s time that we learn to distinguish between being bullied and being held responsible.

When you address someone’s bad behavior and they cry, “bully,” don’t buy it. Don’t let them shame you into silence or sugar-coat their actions. You say it and you say it directly. And if someone tries to harm you or your loved ones, you have every right to make them regret it.

And when they accuse you of bullying. You stand up and firmly say, “No! That wasn’t bullying, that was self-defense!”

The Difference between Bullying and Accountability:

VictimHood Does Not Excuse Bad Behavior

You see it all the time nowadays. Most baddies use past victimhood as an excuse to harm others. We’ve all been through bad times. Moreover, many people have suffered from bullying, abuse, and unfair treatment. However, it doesn’t excuse wrongdoing.

Just because someone victimized you doesn’t mean you get to go out and victimize another person. You cannot hurt people to get even with the world because it has shown its mean face to you.

Therefore, if you deliberately cause someone harm, you must face accountability for wrongdoing regardless of what you’ve been through. And copping out behind past victimhood only makes you look pathetic. The world doesn’t owe you a get-out-of-jail-free card.

It amazes me that so many people have the idea that when someone faces consequences for wrongdoing, they’re being bullied. And it’s why the term “bullying” has lost its meaning in the last few years.

Many seem to think that they can do whatever they want to others, then, when they get caught and are forced to face accountability, they want to claim that they’re being bullied? Ahem…no. There’s a difference between bullying and accountability. Consequences is not bullying.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

Cancel Culture Reversed

Many of the original supporters of cancel culture are now being cancelled. In the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination, many people have celebrated the horrific way he left this world. Never mind that this man was a husband and father of two small children.

And it did not matter that this man was willing to have open dialogue with the very people who hated him. All that mattered was that they hated him, and they wanted him gone. They were not willing to talk it out, and no one could reason with them.

But that’s what happens when a person is demonized for so long. People believe the lies, and they don’t want to hear the truth about the person. It’s the same with bullying in school and the workplace.

Sadly, to justify harming someone, Bullies must first demonize them. 

Again, once bullies have succeeded in demonizing their victim, no one wants to hear the truth about them – that they may actually be a good person. And this is how bad people murder innocent people.

Many have posted vile things, films, and memes online about Charlie’s assassination. They’ve laughed, joked, and mocked his death. Or they’ve blamed him for his own murder. And, what they are doing is disgusting, it’s despicable, and it’s grotesque!

And why? Because he didn’t share their values and beliefs? There are people whom I disagree with. And there are those I strongly dislike. But I would never – not in a million years- cheer and celebrate their death, especially if someone killed them. Most human beings – real human beings wouldn’t.

Only demons from the deepest, darkest pits of hell celebrate murder. And now, they are losing their jobs left and right because of their evil online behavior. Those who supported cancel culture against others who refused to wear masks back during the COVID era are now being cancelled for their evil posts.

And they claim that people are bullying them. No! People are holding them accountable for vile online behavior.

It’s not Bullying, It’s Consequences.

During the last day or so, many people who celebrated this murder have posted videos of themselves crying and having a complete mental episode because they lost their jobs. However, they don’t realize that actions have consequences.

Now, most people like them may say it’s free speech. And I’m all for free speech. However, this is not about free speech; it’s about decency. It’s about being a human being.

When people speak the kind of evil they have about Charlie Kirk since his death, they reveal exactly who they are. Therefore, when they show themselves to be soulless and ghoulish people, no decent person wants to associate with them, much less employ them.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

It’s not about politics, it’s about Right and Wrong

For too many years, people in power with bad intentions have politicized right and wrong. They victimize an innocent person, then play victim when they face consequences. And it’s a shame. But wrong is wrong, no matter how you politicize it.

And when you do wrong, there are consequences for it. Therefore, accountability is not bullying. We call this responsibility.

Rest in Jesus’ arms, Charlie Kirk!

This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability so that bad people won’t confuse you when they face consequences for their bad behavior by claiming that they’re being bullied.

1. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

2. Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

bullying based on mental health issues

Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness

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Bullying based on mental health is something hardly anyone will discuss. Even the media is silent about it. ‘Want to know why bullies love to target those who either have or who others perceive to have a mental illness? Here’s why they do it and how you can stand up to it.

bullying based on mental health

The sad fact is that bullies love to bully those who either are mentally ill or are perceived to be so. Why? Because they are not only the easiest people in the world to target, but they’re also the most convenient victims.

In this post, you will learn all about bullying based on mental health and why bullies target those people believe to be mentally ill.

Once you learn all this essential information, you will not only understand the motivations behind it but you’ll also be able to successfully overcome it if you’re one of those targets.

Bullying Based on Mental Health

Have you noticed that bullies usually pull the mental health card anytime their victims stop taking their crap? Moreover, have you ever wondered why? Are you one of those people bullies and others have unfairly painted as a cuckoo bird? Here are the reasons bullies do this.

1. They’re the Most Vulnerable.

In other words, those with mental illness are the easiest to exploit.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Why? Because it’s the hardest to disprove. This goes double when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

2. Bullying, especially if it’s chronic, can make anyone an emotional wreck. However, it’s exponentially worse for those with poor mental health.

…and rightfully so. Hence, another reason the mental health label is a clever label for bullies to pin to them.

Understand that the natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. Therefore, people can easily mistake any form of self-defense for mental illness.

when bullies label you as unhinged, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. In fact, they may know good and well that you aren’t mentally ill.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. Therefore, if they really and truly thought you were loco, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. Moreover, they wouldn’t come near you.

Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear. They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that a person who’s not right upstairs could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

In fact, that person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them.  In other words, they do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

Therefore, the mental health label is used to make the person look bad. Again, anyone who’s bullied is likely to be emotional. And who wouldn’t be if they suffered constant bullying?

So, the victim’s emotional reaction to the abuse just makes it easier for bullies to stick that label on them. Put another way, the bullies use the victim’s emotional reaction to their abuse as confirmation that the person really is a nutcase. And sadly, it sticks.

3. Bullying Based On Mental Health:

To Further stigmatize you.

Your bullies are smarter then you think. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap and either report them or stand up to them. Moreover, you just might expose them and cause them to lose face.

Therefore, your bullies will claim you’re a mental case. And why not? If everyone thinks you’re stark raving mad, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

In other words, if you have a reputation of being a nut-ball, the less likely anyone will believe you when you go to them for help.

4. To Silence and subdue you.

The mental health label does two things. First, it makes you afraid to stand up to your bullies or speak out about their abuse. Secondly, it keeps their reputations spotless why trashing yours

. Bullies aren’t clueless. They know that if people think you’re bananas, they won’t believe you. Moreover, they figure that you may make a few attempts to report them, only to be rebuffed. Once enough people either ignore or rebuff you, you’ll eventually grown too afraid to open your mouth.

Therefore, they use the mental health label to shut you up and keep you under control.

Also, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back. Why? Because, if you do, you know that the bullies will only use the label to reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor, innocent bullies, or you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re just “bonkers.”

5. Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Because they don’t have to worry about you defending yourself properly.

In other words, your bullies can never prove you’re mentally unstable. However, there’s no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

Moreover, people have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you.

Therefore, again, this kind of label is easiest to pin on you. It shouldn’t be this easy. But it is.

6. To worsen your condition.

7. Because they know that others are least likely to help you.

If bullies can cause you to wonder if you’re losing your sanity, the more likely others are to believe it too.

Therefore, don’t you doubt your mental abilities for a second! Keep speaking out. No matter what, you must stand up to this kind of bullying.

8. Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Because they enjoy your pain.

Most bullies are sadistic. In other words, they enjoy watching you suffer. However, these types of bullies won’t stop. They’ll only escalate the torment.

Why? Because your pain is like a drug to sadistic bullies. They’re addicted to your pain, and they can never get enough of it. So, they will inflict more suffering on you until you or someone else puts a stop to it.

Most sadistic people enjoy others’ pain, but they can’t handle it when they themselves suffer it. Believe me when I tell you that most sadists are the biggest wusses alive!

Therefore, you must stand up to them and impose consequences so severe that they won’t ever think of messing with you again.

9. Because it’s easier to bait you into an emotional reaction.

Mental illness can drop your social intelligence like a meteor. Therefore, you must work much harder to keep your bullies from baiting you.

The trick is to stay calm and cool when standing up to them. I know. Easier said than done. However, understand that this is doable and that you can do it. Only you’ll need to work much harder at it.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Bullies Don’t Think You’re Mentally imbalanced. They Think you’re weak.

In fact, your bullies most likely know that you’re just as sane as the next person. They also know that you aren’t strong enough to keep them away.

However, here’s another things that bullies also know.

Weakness and helplessness have a certain allure and appeal. And this allure and appeal raises the chances of others coming to your aid. Therefore, your bullies are afraid that others just might feel compelled to come to your aid.

Realize that helplessness sparks a natural tendency to want to take care of the helpless person. On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person they deem loony.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they label you mentally unstable to strip you of the allure and appeal of weakness and helplessness.

There’s a method behind the Exploitation of mental instability

Again, in labeling you a nutcase and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid accountability. Moreover, if they can dodge responsibility, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, if you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Bullies will often bait you into looking unhinged.

For example, your bullies provoke you into a reaction. Next, others walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. In other words, these so-called witnesses only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

And sadly, they draw the wrong conclusions. Therefore, if this happens to you, understand that this is what your bullies were counting on!!!

They do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong! If they can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report it?

And who’ll speak on your behalf the next time you let the bullies have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely batshit!”

How to Counter the Mental Health Label

Don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and you tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there slack-jawed. If they follow you and ask, “What’s your problem?” Keep walking and don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Say as little as possible.

Or you can tell them, “You know what my problem is!”  If your bullies continue to follow you and ask, “What did we do to you?” You can say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

But nothing more than that.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Keep your cool when standing up to your bullies.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm, but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

The bully may not change their ways and their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

This post was all about Bullying based on mental health so that you can understand why your bullies target you and stand up to your bullies without inviting any stigma or stereotypes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Bullying Those with Mental Illness: 9 Reasons Why People Do It 

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

4. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

5. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

bullying research introduction

Bullying Research: 5 Reasons to Study and Learn about Bullying

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‘Want to know how bullying research can give you the knowledge to protect yourself psychologically and physically? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying research

Knowing about bullying is the best way to protect yourself from it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of bullying research so that you can read up on it and get the knowledge you need to defend yourself should you find yourself in the crosshairs of a bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details and why knowing is vital, you will be a more challenging target for bullies, and they will avoid you and select someone who isn’t so knowledgeable.

This post is all about bullying research so that you can better protect yourself against bullies.

Bullying Research

Knowledge is power! Therefore, if you suffer from bullying at school, at work, or anywhere, doing your research on bullying is the first step in defending yourself against it.

Learning about Bullying and the Power Dynamic

I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. The goal was to learn everything there was to know about it.

I wanted to know why people bully and what drives bullies to single out certain people. Also, I was curious about what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affects different people, and what characteristics determine victim selection.

Why? Because it is better to learn from it than to let it traumatize you.

How the Learning Began

During the nineties, I went through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims.

I also pored through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.

Also, I consulted my PC and reviewed numerous online articles and essays on the subject. I begin with Tim Field and bullyonline.org, based in the UK.

I remember emailing him with many questions on bullying, and he always replied curiously and promptly. From him, I learned so much.

I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well. They were celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life.

I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us and that his website was taken down. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise. He was the encouragement I needed to learn more about the subject.

Bullying Research:

Knowledge was the turning point.

In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying. Moreover, this is knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially.

In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.

In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head. None of it was my fault, as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.

Bullying is timeless and universal.

Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats of bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new.

During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it. Also, I had tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. But this is also nothing new.

Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen. I began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school. Why? Because I needed a record of the abuse in case the bullies at school hurt me so badly that I’d need hospitalization or worse, murder me.

I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade, and I never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home and didn’t lose anything.

By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless stories. They were those of social aggression, emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.

Bullying Research:

The Beginnings of the first Memoir

I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” is now published and available.

With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it.

Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past, learn as much as you can about it. Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying.

Also, you can use it to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that it will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!

Nothing heals you like taking on adversity and learning from it. You can use it as a weapon against future bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

your bullies will no longer scare you. They will bore you.

If only your bullies had a clue. If only they knew what sniveling cowards they are. And, if only they realized that some of us are smarter than they think. Bullies don’t realize that some people can see right through them.

They can’t see what some people see behind their pathetic attempts to look bigger, better, and brighter than they really are. Because if they did, they would want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide.

In their feeble attempts to instill fear in and control others through yelling, screaming, and cursing tirades, they look like basket cases. Through their passive-aggressive dirty looks, scowls, and eye-rolls, bullies don’t look all-powerful. They only look desperate.

Their relentless jockeying for power only gives them the appearance of weakness and desperation, not strength and ambition.

Bullying Research:

IF you do your research, you will learn that Bullies are weak and pathetic.

Their threats toward anyone smaller or weaker only expose their fear. Why? Because they would never risk going toe to toe with someone of equal power. And the sad truth is that bullies know it too.

They use victims to hide from the truth of their insecurities. Bullies hide behind victims like a baby hides behind its mother’s skirt.

Their pitiful attempts to use others as a shield to conceal their flaws make them look exactly as they are. They are fakes, frauds, and impostors.

The bullies’ false bravado only proves that they’re not to be taken seriously. It only evidences their pathetic self-loathing.

Bullying Research:

Realize that you are much better off than your bullies.

Knowing that bullies must expend so much energy to hide their true selves? It will make you scoff at them. And knowing they must work so hard to keep others down only makes you laugh behind their backs.

Why? Because you don’t have to work as they do.

Think about it. Most bullies bully in groups. And they always select one person to bully. Therefore, it takes all of them to try to bring down one person. I’m laughing as I type this.

Most targets are comfortable being themselves. Therefore, you can save your energy to create your own happiness and success. It’s so sad that bullies can’t.

Bullies are pitiful. Why? Because their hatred for you burns them up inside. It eats away at their souls and blocks them from any peace and happiness they might otherwise attain.

So, even as your bullies unleash their vitriol on you, you don’t hate them. Why? Because they’re not worth the energy it takes to hate.

Once you learn what bullying is really about, you’ll only pity your bullies.

You’ll only feel sorry for them. Why? Because you will know that at their very core, they’re miserable human beings. And you will realize that your bullies will never achieve growth and become better people.

You will figure out that behind your bullies’ made-up faces and fancy clothes and hairdos, there’s no substance. There’s no authenticity or anything solid.

You’ll discover that the only thing behind their weak and shaky facades is hot air! Nothingness! Dead space!

Bullying Research:

Seeing Behind the Veil of Perfection

Though your bullies paint themselves as most valuable, they bring nothing to the table. They may glitter and sparkle, but not all that glitters is gold. It’s only fool’s gold.

Bullies tear people down, undermine their creativity, and take credit for their ideas. But only because they aren’t smart enough to be original. They never had an original thought in their entire lives!

If you are a target of bullying, you will be thankful you gained this knowledge.

There are so many other things you will learn about bullies. You will discover that bullies only surround themselves with people just like them. They will attract coattail hitchhikers who are unable to think for themselves. They will draw in wannabes who’ll jump through a thousand hoops to make “the right people” like and favor them.

Your bullies will be magnets for people who are nothing but followers, drones, lackeys, and patsies. In a nutshell, they’re only losers disguised as winners.

You will get free entertainment from your BULLIES’ trash talk.

Bullies will talk so much garbage. But instead of making you feel bad, they’ll only give you free entertainment. Why? Because you will see that talk is cheap and that’s all your bullies can do.

Also, you’ll discover that they’re right about one thing. You are different from them. You’re nothing like any of them. And you will be proud of that!

You’ll be thankful that people like you don’t need lackeys and followers. Why? Because you can improvise, adapt to, and overcome anything. And the best part will be that you have your bullies to thank for that!

Bullying research:

You will make your bullies your motivators.

‘You see? Bullies can teach you how to be inventive. You’re creative because you have to be.

Your bullies can teach you how to get around any roadblock or barrier placed in your path. How? You might ask? They give you plenty of practice!

Your bullies can give you grit. They can give you the strength to weather the storms in life, to stay the course, and to live a better and more rewarding life.

Bullies can make you determined to get what you want out of life. In trying to break you down, they can set you on your path to success. And, without meaning to!

While they stay in their comfort zones and live mediocre lives, you’re willing to endure a little discomfort. Why?

Because you know that’s what it takes to expand your horizons and live an extraordinary life. And you know that it will pay off one day.

While your bullies followed the latest fads and trends, you were developing those of the future.

Bullying Research:

Once you learn about bullies and bullying, you will embrace their hatred of you.

Your bullies may have brought you down, but they won’t keep you down. In the end, you may rise higher than they could ever imagine. And that will be another reason they hate you.

But the fun part is, you will welcome and embrace your bullies’ hatred. This is what happens when you do your research and learn as much about bullying as you can.

You learn why people bully and where the behavior comes from. And you can debunk any myths about bullying. You’ll also understand where their power really comes from and the stuff bullies try to hide.

Then you will realize just how pathetic bullies really are. And, once you do, their games will no longer faze you.

This post was all about bullying research and the power of knowledge to compel you to learn everything you can about bullies and bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

haters gonna hate

Haters: 13 Tactics They Use to Bring You Down

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Haters gonna hate. ‘Want to know the tactics they use to bring you down? Here are all the maneuvers you need to know.

haters

Haters can make life difficult. But what if I told you that having them was a good thing?

In this post, you will learn all about haters and the tactics they use to bring you down.

Once you learn all about these confidence-building details, you will be able to remain calm and cool because it will be easier not to let them faze you.

This post is all about haters, why they’re a great thing to have, and the tactics they use to bring you down so that you can feel good about having them.

Haters

So, what is a hater? Here are two definitions from dictionary.com.

“1. a person who has an intense dislike for another person or thing (often used in combination).”

“2. Informal.  A person who thrives on showing hate toward, criticizing, or belittling other people or things, usually unfairly.”

Anyone can have haters. Even celebrities have them. Therefore, if you feel down because you have them, don’t.

Instead, feel good about it because you must have a lot of power if you can upset someone without provoking them. Your presence alone can rile some people. That’s power!

However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to watch your back. Here are all the tactics they will use to bring you down and how you can turn the tables on them.

Why DO PEOPLE HATE YOU?

There are many reasons why some people hate. And they don’t need a good reason to do it. I’ve learned from experience that jealousy drives most haters.

For instance, you may have a personality trait that they only wish they had. Maybe you are outgoing, and people like you because of your confidence. It could be that you are brilliant and you excel in school.

Maybe you’re successful on the job. Or you’re attractive. And perhaps you have talents and gifts others wish they had.

Again, when you’re good at anything, you will likely attract haters who will be itching to take you down a peg or two.

So, what are all the tactics these people use?

1. Haters:

Watch you and give you dirty looks

People who hate you will watch you closely. Why? Because they are waiting for you to fail at something. And when you do, they want to see it, then boast about it later.

These kinds of bullies are tired of seeing you succeed. They wait, with bated breath, for your downfall. So, they watch you like a spy watches a foreign operative.

They may also give you dirty looks. But it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. And it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. The reason they glare at you so hard is to intimidate you.

How you stand up to this is to mirror the same expression back at them. In other words, return the dirty look. Let them know that they can’t scare you and that you won’t tolerate their behavior.

2. Copy you

Some of them will copy you. They may imitate your clothing style or the way you speak and act. However, understand that they’re only showing you and others who they are – a bunch of posers.

I understand that this may get on your nerves. However, don’t let it get you out of sorts.

Instead, laugh at them. And feel good about it. Why? Because any time someone wants to be like you, it only means they admire you, albeit weirdly.

3. Haters Gonna Hate:

Talk about you behind your back

These idiots will stab you in the back every chance they get. They don’t have the guts to tell you anything to your face. So, they must talk about you to others. And you will be the last to know.

However, don’t let it get to you. And don’t allow it to confuse or bewilder you. Understand that anyone who does this to you unprovoked is usually doing it out of jealousy.

Only they will never tell you. Because to admit that they’re jealous of you would be to realize that they feel inferior to you. And no way will they ever!

4. Launch smear campaigns

These bullies will launch smear campaigns to turn others against you and ruin your reputation. If this happens to you, a few people may indeed turn on you.

However, think of it this way. The people who turn their backs on you were never your friends to begin with. So, see this as your haters weeding out the trash for you.

They’re only saving you the trouble of finding out the hard way and doing it yourself.

5. Provoke arguments with you

When others try to start arguments with you, they’re itching for a fight. And it may bewilder you, especially if you haven’t done anything to them.

You must understand the reason they do this. Many bullies will do this to try to drag you down to their level. Therefore, stay above it.

How you stay above the pettiness is not to react, but respond. And do it in as few words as possible. For example, you can say, “I’m not having this conversation with you.” Then, walk away.

By doing this, you will make them look weak and yourself look strong.

6. Haters:

try to sabotage your progress

Bullies at work may try to sabotage you when they see that you’re a competent employee. The reason they do this is to make you look bad to your bosses and coworkers.

Workplace bullies may also point out any tiny mistake you make. Again, this is all designed to undermine your work and make you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

How you stand up to this is to call out their jealousy professionally. For example, you could say, “Listen, (bully’s name). No one is trying to compete with you. So, there’s no need for you to act this way. It’s not very professional.”

When you say this, you diplomatically call them out. And you make them look guilty in the eyes of others.

7. try to block you from reaching success

This mainly happens in the workplace. For instance, you may be a candidate for a promotion. A meeting is scheduled for the next morning. And your bully may tell you that the meeting is at nine o’clock when it starts at eight-thirty.

And when you arrive, thirty minutes late, management may question your eligibility for the promotion.

Therefore, always get the answers to any questions you have from those you can trust. Also, read any memos.

8. Haters Gonna Hate:

try to embarrass and humiliate you

People who don’t wish you well may try to set you up for humiliation and embarrassment. In extreme cases, they may take compromising photos of you.

Maybe they sneak into the bathroom with their phone and take snapshots of you using the bathroom. Or perhaps they try to trip you as you’re walking into a meeting.

Therefore, watch your back. And if you know who your haters are, stay far away from them.

9. try to undermine any successes you’ve had

Bullies will try to downplay any accomplishments you’ve made. For instance, someone brags on you for a success you’ve reached. And your bullies say, “Oh, shit! Anybody could’ve done that.”

The best you can do is let them say it. Why? Because they’re showing others the kinds of people they are. Remember that haters gonna hate. So, why not let them continue to expose themselves?

10. try to one-up you

For example, one of your high school buddies brags to others about your ability to get a date. And he tells them that you seem to attract them with ease.

Then, your bully pipes in and begins bragging that he’s scored with x number of girls – more girls than you.

How you stay above this is to smile and let him brag. Because he’s only making himself look like a jackass and everyone else knows it. So, why not let the chump shoot himself in the foot?

You should always use your haters as your motivation to reach your goals.

11. Haters:

Act superior to you

Most haters hate you because they feel inferior to you. Anyone who feels inferior may try to cover it up by acting superior.

Therefore, you can stand up to them by gently calling them out. For instance, you can say, “I’m sorry you feel so inferior that you have to act this way.”

By saying this, you call out their behavior and expose their innermost feelings that they don’t measure up. Ouch!

And if you do it in public, that’s even better.

12. Pretend to be friends with you

Many bullies will act like a friends to get close enough to you to harm you. You must watch out for these kinds of people because they’re slick!

They have ways of chumming up to you without you knowing their intentions. And you won’t see it coming until it’s too late.

Look for them to ask you personal questions. Also, they may say and do things to get you to confide in them. Therefore, if you make a new friend, don’t reveal anything to them that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know.

You won’t know you can trust them until you’ve been friends for a long time. Also, you can conduct a little test.

Tell them something that you couldn’t care less if anyone knows. Then tell them to keep it secret. Let the person be the only one you tell.  If it gets out, then you know they shared it.

And you know that you can’t trust them.

13. Haters Gonna Hate:

Infiltrate your friend group

Some people who hate you may try to get on good terms with your friends. However, know the reason they do. It’s to cause division and put you on your friends’ bad side.

Therefore, be watchful anytime someone who has treated you wrong in the past suddenly ingratiates themselves into your group. And question them in front of your friends.

In Conclusion:

When you have haters, they have a sick obsession with you, your comings and goings, and what you say and do. Therefore, their viciousness says everything about them and nothing about you.

They will discourage you if you let them. However, know that haters admire you. Only they want what you have for themselves. So, they hate you because you have things they wish they had but don’t think they could ever have.

Therefore, feel good about it because there are good reasons you have them. Let it boost your confidence. But, at the same time, watch your back. And know the tactics they may use against you so that you know how to deal with them.

Remember! Haters gonna hate! So, let them hate! And use them as your motivation to reach your goals and dreams.

This post was all about haters so that instead of letting them make you feel bad, you can use them as your motivation to succeed.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Reasons You Have Haters

2. How to Deal with Haters and Why Having Them is Good

3. When Others Tell You You Can’t: 8 Reasons They Discourage You 

confronting bullying in the workplace legal

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace: Endurance and Resilience

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‘Want to know about confronting bullying in the workplace and how to do it? Here are all the details you need to know.

confronting bullying in the workplace

In this post, you will learn how to go about confronting bullying in the workplace from someone who did it successfully, so that you can avoid losing your job or career.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you won’t be such an easy target for any bully at work who comes for you.

This post is all about confronting bullying in the workplace so that you can emerge victorious.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace

Very few people ever come out the winner if they’re a target of bullying in the workplace. I say this because when I worked in a toxic and poisonous work environment, I saw so many people who fell victim.

Droves of innocent workers lost their jobs and some, their careers. All because of a clique of mentally deranged coworkers who had gained power they had no business having.

These employees were the best and the kindest people. And my heart broke for them. It still does when I think back.

A New Job

In late 2007, I began working for a sanitation company that contracted with Shady Grove Living Center in Oakley. My supervisor, *Darnell, and my coworkers were the best.

Sure, we had our disagreements and our spats. However, I could never have dreamed of working with a better supervisor and team. And on many occasions, we’d have so much fun together!

Another great thing was that we didn’t work for the nursing home. We were employed by a separate company contracted with them. So, in reality, no one at the nursing home had any power over us, though they loved to think they did.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Watching and Observing

I was well aware that the site was very toxic. This is because I did not set out to make friends. And I didn’t share anything about myself to anyone. Instead, I wanted to feel everyone out first.

So, I stood back and observed the people and the goings-on around me. And during my first week of employment there, it didn’t take long to figure out who the troublemakers were.

From then on, I made sure to avoid the drama queens, the gossips, and the bullies. Moreover, I did my job and minded my business.

Fortunately, there was a long corridor between the actual nursing facility and the sanitation area. Therefore, we didn’t have to work with them or be around them much at all.

The only time I saw any of the nursing home employees was toward the end of the shift, when I would roll the laundry cart full of clean linens down to the main building to stock the linen closets.

So, for the first year and three months, everything went smoothly, and no one bothered me. I got along with everyone and they all seemed to like me a lot. That is, until I put one snarky CNA in her place for trying to be a smartass.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Standing up to the wrong person

This CNA, whom I’ll call Candi, had it in her mind that those who worked in the laundry department did not deserve respect. Most of the nursing home workers didn’t see us as human beings because we worked in sanitation.

After I schooled her on a few things, I immediately saw her face change. The smirk fell off and was replaced by a tight-lipped pursing of the lips. Her eyes became slits and her eyebrows furrowed. Then, Candi stormed away, and I didn’t see her again for the rest of the day.

Later, a friendly coworker told me that she had cried to her buddies in the nursing home clique. She even told me that she had overheard Candi shout to her buddies, “How dare she talk to me like that! Who does she think she is! Ooooh, the nerve of that bitch! It’s obvious that she doesn’t know her place!” 

My coworker, whom I’ll call Lucretia, also informed me that, after that long tirade, Candi left work. She took the rest of the day off as a stress leave because she was so upset.

And we both laughed about it together. Lucretia told me that I did the right thing.

“You stood up to Candi, and now, she’s super pissed. Don’t you love their outrage when you catch their shit and throw it back at them?” she said while laughing.

I knew why. Candi was the type who hated being stood up to by someone she deemed inferior. It was hilarious.

However, I found out that, right or wrong, talking down to Candi was a no-no because she had connections.

A Civil War at Work And A Nursing Home Divided

One by one, many people turned against me over the next several months. However, I was lucky. Several of my real friends knew how Candi was and had no respect for her. They were the people who had my back. Therefore, I had allies who took care of me.

There was a clear division at Shady Grove Living Center. We had the administrator, whom I’ll call Beau. There was also Cammie, the payroll clerk, and Harry, who was Cammie’s husband and head of maintenance.

Also, there was one maintenance guy, whose name was Jules, and two CNAs, Shelly and Cheryl, who were two flying monkeys.

On my side were my supervisor Darnell, all of my coworkers (except for one suck up), a charge nurse, and the rest of the CNAs who had my back.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

False Reports

At first, the bullies made false reports about me to Darnell. I worked part-time in the evenings. So, on the days after my shift, the third shift CNAs would complain that I hadn’t stocked the linen closets and they had no clean bed pads, bed sheets, or gowns for the residents who soiled their beds during the night.

However, I always thought ahead and could easily predict what these people would do. So, I made sure to pull out my cellphone and take pictures of all my finished work at the end of every shift.

Once I finished stocking the linen closets, I took photos of the shelves inside, chock full of freshly clean linens. I then took pictures of all the empty barrels that were marked “dirty laundry.” Next, I would clock out and go home.

Because all my images were time-stamped, there was no question I’d done my job. I took pictures every night, at the end of the shift. Therefore, I had proof to show Darnell every time they lied.

The Bullies’ Disappointment

When that didn’t work, the bullies only turned up the harassment. And word quickly spread that I took pictures of all my finished work.

In a way, it was funny because each of the linen closets was directly across from a nurse’s desk. This was where all the bullies would sit around and gossip.

I remember overhearing them make snide remarks about my camera and my taking pictures. I would only snicker to myself and give a cruel chuckle within earshot of them.

Harry, the head of maintenance, would talk pretty ugly to me. However, I knew I wasn’t the only one. Many times, I’d see him talk terribly to several others- even a few who worked for the nursing home. So, I didn’t feel like the Lone Ranger.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Beating them at Their Own Game.

Because I’d already been a target of bullying in school, I knew what to expect. ‘You see? All bullies pull pretty much the same tactics.

Only adult bullies are much more sophisticated with it. Therefore, I was able to prepare, stay a few steps ahead, and outflank them.

Bullies Committing Time Fraud

Soon, I began to witness a couple of the bullies in the clique commit a few illegal activities. On one occasion, I worked a double shift to cover for a coworker who was sick.

Early one Saturday morning, I saw with my own eyes Harry walk into the back door of the nursing home. He was dressed in camouflage and his bright orange hunting vest.

Harry crept down the hall past the laundry room, then stopped at the time clock and clocked in. He then filled out a bogus work order before leaving.

He didn’t return until late that evening to clock out and leave again. I’ll never forget the look on his mug when he saw me sitting outside on my last break as he drove by in his shiny new pickup.

And when I told Lucretia about it a day or two later, it did not surprise her.

“Girl! He’s been doing that since I’ve been here! And I’ll tell you something else. Brenda told me that Cammie’s been embezzling from this facility. And she’s been ripping off some of the residents who don’t have families. She’s been weaseling them into signing papers to leave their assets to her when they leave this world!”

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Illegal Activities

Everyone knew about it, but it seemed they were afraid to report it. It was also evident that Harry and Cammie were getting fat off the embezzlement, and not only those two, but the administrator, Beau, too.

We secretly referred to these three ringleaders of the bully group as “The Thieving Three.” Fran, Marilyn, Misti, and Jules were their lieutenants. At the bottom of this little workplace cabal were the flying monkeys.

There were so many policy violations and illegal activities happening right under our noses. Here are a few of them.

1. Beau would park his Winnebago on the property for Harry and Jules to do repairs on during work hours. Again, they would do all this out in the open.

Beau knew that most of the other employees were too scared to talk about it. So, why put in the extra effort to try and cover it up?

He would have the maintenance men work on his camper. And he would do this while neglecting any repairs the nursing facility needed. The maintenance guys would also work on his car.

You can imagine how much Beau was saving on auto repairs.

2. Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Fighting and Assault on Company Property.

Beau was having an affair with another employee. When her husband found out, he came to the nursing home to confront Beau.

And Beau invited him out to the parking lot to fight. The two men got into a brutal fistfight in the parking lot, in broad daylight, in front of God and everyone. And it happened while Beau was on the clock! Keep in mind that Beau was the administrator of the nursing home.

After the fight was over, Beau sent a harsh warning to all employees. If they uttered one word about the incident at work or outside of work, they would live to regret it. Because he would not only fire them, he would make sure they didn’t work anywhere else.

3. Embezzlement.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie were robbing Shady Grove blind! Beau made off with several hundred thousand dollars, as did Harry and Cammie. And they were moving up in the world quickly.

They were suddenly buying new vehicles and vacation homes on the lake. They began taking lavish vacations whenever they wanted.

Cammie was the payroll clerk and bookkeeper of the facility. She would take the money and doctor the books to make everything look legit.

Her husband, Harry, would clock in, fill out bogus work orders, and leave for the day. Then, he would come back that night and clock back out before going home.

They would also take as many days off as they wanted. And, it went beyond the allotted annual vacation time.

Cammie would also make herself the Power of Attorney over widowed and childless residents with no families. And she would do this by talking them into signing legal documents, agreeing to leave any assets to her and her husband once they passed away.

Cammie helped her teenage daughter get hired at the nursing home. The daughter was the person who passed the snacks, juice cups, and pitchers of ice and water around.

She fixed the wages so that her daughter would make twenty dollars per hour instead of the recommended eight.

4. Confronting bullying in the workplace:

Nepotism.

Harry and Cammie made sure that their children and family got first dibs at any available jobs there. When the nursing home hired these family members, they would receive massive hourly wages, anywhere from double to five times the going rates for the job.

It didn’t take long for the whisper to spread. However, we had to be careful who we talked around. There were eyes and ears everywhere.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie ran the place. Right or wrong, anyone who challenged them in any way, was bullied and mobbed out! And so was anyone who slighted or stood up to any of their favorite people.

Cammie was best friends with Candi. Therefore, she increased her attacks. More and more, she’d provoke me, but I wouldn’t bite.

She and the cabal instituted several smear campaigns against me and a few others, but we only doubled down in our resolve not to let them shake us.

Verbal Attacks and threats

It got rough at times. On a few occasions, the payroll clerk and a few CNAs threatened to catch me out and do physical harm. But it never happened, and back then, I went out all the time. I was lucky.

Although the provocations were stressful, I was able to put my hand up to her, tell her what I thought of her, then walk away.

Darnell was excellent! He was a quiet guy, yet firm when he had to be. Darnell was like me. He kept his mouth closed and observed everything that went on around him.

The man was much more intelligent than people thought he was. He knew what was happening, and he took care of us!

I could never have been more grateful to have such an awesome supervisor. However, this only made the bullies more desperate.

I remember a night when one of the flying monkeys, Shelly, a CNA, approached me in the hall from behind. She began screaming, cursing, and threatening to jump me over a ridiculous rumor.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

The Bully who Snapped

She threatened to attack me there on the spot, physically. And bystanders were everywhere.
When I turned around, faced her, and called her out for being unprofessional, Shelly only became angrier.

One of the bystanders was Deb, the charge nurse, and Shelly’s supervisor and buddy. She restrained Shelly, and I turned and walked away.

But I knew that Deb would sweep Shelly’s behavior under the rug and paint me as the instigator. Sure enough, she did. The level of gaslighting was off the charts. These people had a way of turning everything around to fit their narrative and getting others to agree with it.

A Supportive Boss

They reported the incident to Darnell and suggested that he terminate me immediately. When he talked to me about it, I calmly explained that Shelly had approached me from behind in a very threatening manner.

I told him that I feared for my physical safety. I also told him that I didn’t know what she would do if I hadn’t confronted her.

And by this time, I’d worked under Darnell long enough that he knew the kind of person I was and that I was only taking care of myself.

Once again, Darnell went to bat for me. Also, I had made an awesome friend out of Jane, who was another charge nurse at the nursing home. She, too, went to bat for me, as did several of my coworkers.

Each time nothing happened to me, the bullies only became angrier and more unhinged. Soon, they were all out for blood!

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

A Stalker

It was then that I started noticing Jules hovering around in the hall just outside the door to the laundry room. Later, I’d see him milling around nearby anytime I’d stop in the hallway to greet and talk to friends.

And I’ve got to tell you! He gave me such a creepy vibe! Next, I began seeing him standing across the street from my apartment, smoking a cigarette. Now that freaked me out!

I found out that he and the neighbor across the street had begun dating and that he was there to see her. She didn’t allow smoking in her house, so he had no choice but to smoke outside.

Still, I didn’t feel any better. I felt as if he was watching me.

There were other reasons he was hanging around so close. Jules was an eavesdropper for Cammie and her group.

He would listen in on our conversations in the laundry room. Also, he would eavesdrop on my discussions with friends in the hallway. Everybody knew it because he’d eavesdropped on many others.

My instinct also told me they’d enlisted him to watch my house. He was watching to see who came in and out of my home. The man was looking for any information with which to report back to Cammie.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

A Convenient Cover

Jules’ girlfriend was a cover for him, and they knew it. Although I knew what was going on, I didn’t speak of it. I knew I couldn’t without sounding nuts.

I did the best thing by keeping it to myself. The only people I told were my closest family, and they knew I wasn’t kidding. They, too, had seen the man standing outside my apartment.

Luckily, his girlfriend was a good friend of mine. I knew she only kept him around because she was lonely. So, I used it to my advantage.

I cozied up to her a little bit more so she would volunteer to tell me little tidbits about what he was doing. Sure enough, she confirmed my suspicions.

Days later, Darnell, having become a target of bullying himself, announced that he was resigning in a couple of weeks. He was moving on to a better job and a better work environment.

We were happy that he’d found something better and was getting out of that hellhole. However, we were also deeply saddened because we’d miss him so much.

We saw Darnell as our fearless leader and our hero!

Changes in Leadership

What kind of leader would the new supervisor be? And would they protect us from those devils down the hall as Darnell had?

Choosing not to leave anything to chance, I decided that I’d put in my notice as well. Thinking ahead, I knew that once Darnell was gone, I’d be at the mercy of every bully at work.

Moreover, I had a sickening feeling that the next supervisor would kiss up to the bullies in the upper echelons of management.

Cammie had long waited, with bated breath, for the day when Darnell would quit. Then, she could begin working on the new supervisor and turn them against us.

Sure enough, Lucretia only confirmed my predictions. She had overheard Cammie saying that she’d recommend that the new supervisor terminate three of us.

Knowing I was one of the three, I quickly filled out my two-week notice and gave it to Darnell.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Exit Plan

Darnell introduced us to the new supervisor. She was a short, dumpy woman in her forties. Her facial expression was hard and cold. And she looked at us with cold indifference.

That’s when I knew that putting in my notice was the smartest thing I had ever done.

Off and on during the last two weeks, I’d catch the new supervisor glancing at me. And I would notice those tiny micro flashes of suspicion and contempt.

Lucretia noticed it too. Once the new boss left for a meeting, she told me that she had overheard Cammie talking to the new boss. She told her that I sucked up to Darnell and was one of his favorite employees. She also “informed” the new boss that I had a way with male supervisors (wink-wink).

When word of my impending exit reached the bullies’ ears, they were enraged. And once I was out of there, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was proud that I’d walked away from there with my self-esteem still intact. And when I left that toxic place, I did it on my terms.

And I haven’t told you the best part.

Six months after quitting

Six months after Darnell and I walked away from that cesspool, the shit finally hit the fan there.

I was outside walking my dog when a neighbor, who still worked at the nursing home, stopped me to relay some exciting news.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie, “The Thieving Three,” had all been fired from the facility only an hour or two earlier. The news had traveled that fast!

She told me that the owners of the facility had suddenly shown up. And they had all three of them escorted off the property.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

The Great Comeuppance

An Acting Administrator took Beau’s place. A temporary Bookkeeper/Payroll Clerk and Head of Maintenance took the positions of Cammie and Harry.

Over the next few weeks, several others were fired as well. The DON (Director of Nursing) was let go after stealing narcotics to feed her addiction to pain pills. So were a few other nurses.

The owners also terminated the dietary manager and several CNAs- who had all been loyal flying monkeys to The Thieving Three.

So many got the ax within a short amount of time. The owners cleaned that place out. After it was all said and done, I could count on one hand the people whose jobs were spared.

A Hot Topic

It was the buzz around town for well over a month. After the owners terminated them, Harry and Cammie were so scared and humiliated. They threw everything into three U-hauls and skipped town.

Surprisingly, Shady Grove never pressed charges. Others informed me that it was because the facility was afraid that pressing charges might tarnish its reputation.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Update

Harry and Cammie moved somewhere around Middle, TN, near the Tennessee River. Cammie ended up working for the County Medical Center there. She got a job in the same position she had at Shady Grove.

Later, she committed the same crimes there; only the Medical Center didn’t let it slide as Shady Grove had. They pressed charges, and Cammie was found guilty.

The judge sentenced her to three years in state prison, but she only served two.

I’ll never forget the tyrannical reign of The Thieving Three over the employees of Shady Grove. And I will never forget their downfall.

This is why I firmly believe that most bullies usually get their just desserts in the end, just as these bullies did.

Confronting bullying at work isn’t easy. But sometimes, you must let your bullies do what they do until they get too cocky, too careless, and end up falling on their own swords. Also you must gather your own evidence to protect yourself.

All names are fictional.

This post was all about confronting bullying in the workplace to encourage you and assure you that you can emerge from the other side of it AS a winner!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

3. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

4. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

how to stop taking shit from people at school

How to Stop Taking Shit from People: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

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Want to know how to stop taking shit from people? Here are all the things you need to know to empower yourself.

how to stop taking shit from people

When people bully you for long enough, there comes a time when you get sick of people’s crap.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop taking shit from people and reclaim your power.

Once you learn these life-changing details, you will be a force to be reckoned with when the next bully tries to toy with you.

This post will teach you how to stop taking shit from people so that you won’t be afraid to stand up to bullies and take back your power and your life.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People

When your give-a-damn bursts, you will know it!

If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit.

Believe me, I understand. If this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight because you don’t. You intensely hate fighting. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight, but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life.

Not only would the girls try to jump me, but the guys would too. And most of those redneck brutes had no qualms or reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little.

Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened me with a knife or a box-cutter, and it’s a wonder I got out of there alive.

But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them feel powerless. Moreover, it makes them desperate and puts them in survival mode!

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Bullying throws you into constant survival mode.

In other words, it awakens your primal instincts. It rewires your brain in preparation for a hostile environment.

When you are a victim of bullying, you must live in constant vigilance and adrenaline. You must always be on high alert.

In other words, you must grow eyes in the back of your head and be prepared for danger every time you turn a corner. But it’s not normal to live that way all the time.

It gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long. And you will grow tired of it. You will become angry and bitter if you aren’t careful.

 After taking all you can take, you will show your booty to people. And you won’t just let off a little stream, you’ll blow a gasket!

The rage and bitterness only builds until it explodes.

Moreover, the longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage. It all piles up.

We are all human, and no one can hold that crap inside forever. It doesn’t matter how resilient you are. It’s humanly impossible. You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews.

Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, and they avoid you like the plague afterwards.

Others, you piss off even more and make them twice as determined to get you. A few see your tirade as personal entertainment. I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There will be times when you yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. You will tell people to get the eff away from you and not to come back around.

Bullying can cause you to show the worst side of yourself. And when you do, the people who are there to see it won’t forget it.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Personal Experience

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library. This happened after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with a fist, a second time with my purse, then a textbook.

The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.

Then, once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off.

Everyone has their breaking point.

No decent person wants to lose their cool and act like a fool. However, when you’ve been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Moreover, some of the tiredness bled over into my home life.

Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems, too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and as a result, you don’t give a crap about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Looking back

I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.

So, how do you stop taking shit from people before it reaches a boiling point?

1. Set Boundaries from the very beginning.

In other words, you must stand up to the bullying when it first begins. Never wait until the bullying has gotten out of control.

Because if you keep taking shit off of people and then fight back after it’s gotten so bad, it won’t do you any good. Why? Because once people get used to treating you like crap, they won’t stop, even if you stand up to them. They’ll only double and triple down on it.

Once people have grown comfortable with bullying you, they won’t want to get out of that comfort zone. Therefore, it will be like pulling teeth to get them to stop.

It will take an act of Congress to get them to leave you alone. Start standing up for yourself now. You may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

2. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Use confident body language for the very beginning.

Don’t slouch when you sit or stand. Stand and sit up straight with your shoulders back and head held high. Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying.

Additionally, maintaining good eye contact with others is essential. Avoid looking down or away.

Do everything you can to look confident.

3. Take pride in your appearance.

Appearance isn’t the end-all, be-all, but it helps. When you look good, you feel good. So, dress your best and take care of your hygiene.

To put it bluntly, don’t go to school or work looking like you just got out of bed. Look your best and you will feel your best. And when you feel your best, you are least likely to take shit off of others.

4. Walk away from drama.

Anyone who brings you drama doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Therefore, cut them off. Life’s too short and you have better things to do than to put up with people who bring you drama.

Sometimes it’s best to walk away.

5. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

See your bullies for the cowards they are.

Realize that bullies aren’t happy people. In fact, they’re quite pathetic. Therefore, learn to see them for the kinds of people they are, and their antics won’t bother you as much.

Why? Because you will know that their behavior says more about them than it does about you. So, don’t give them the power to rile you.

In conclusion:

Take it from someone who has gone through bullying

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

You should do the same if this happens to you.

I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

This post was all about how to stop taking shit from people so that you can reclaim your peace and take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. “You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

4. Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

5. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

When Bystanders Become Bullies: 11 Behaviors of Bully-Supporters

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‘Want to know all the behaviors you’ll see when bystanders become bullies? Here’s how bystanders will behave when they agree with and support the person who is bullying you.

when bystanders become bullies

Sadly, in most cases of bullying, bystanders only make it worse. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when bystanders become bullies and all the behaviors of those who support bullying.

Once you learn all about these signs, you will be able to take the best course of action to protect yourself and decide whether it’s better to leave the environment altogether.

This post is all about what happens when bystanders become bullies, so that you can take steps to ensure your safety.

When Bystanders become Bullies

Any time bystanders join your bullies in tormenting you, it can be especially devastating because you have no one to help you. Moreover, it can escalate to group-bullying, and group behavior can get dangerous very quickly.

So, what are all the signs that bystanders support bullying?

1. Laughing and Giggling

When you’re being bullied in front of an audience, you hear laughing and giggling in the background; the bystanders think it’s funny.

However, it isn’t so funny to you. And they wouldn’t think so either, if they were the ones being bullied in public.

When bystanders laugh and giggle, it means they’re getting their kicks at your expense.

2. Ignoring it and Doing Nothing.

When bystanders ignore bullying and do nothing, they become just as bad as the bullies. There are many reasons bystanders don’t do anything about bullying. Maybe they’re scared of becoming the next target.

It could be that they don’t like you and that they think you deserve to be bullied. Also, the bullies could be their proxies. In other words, your bullies are doing what they wish they had the balls to do.

3. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Whispering and Gossiping About The Bullying Incidents.

If the bystanders can’t stand you, they’ll love it when your bullies attack you. And they’ll talk about it too. Therefore, they will whisper and gossip about the bullying incident to everyone who will listen.

They will say things like, “Katie got her ass kicked in the bathroom yesterday! I mean, she got her shit rocked!”

Here are other statements bystanders who hate you might make after bullies publicly attack you.

“Charles finally got what was coming to him this morning! And it was glorious!”

“You should have seen it! Samantha and Janessa jumped Pam on Tuesday in the hall! They knocked her down, then they started kicking her while she was down on the floor!”

“I don’t feel sorry for the bitch! She got what she deserved, and I hope she gets more of it!”

“April said she’s going to kick Carla’s ass, and I hope I’m around to see it go down!”

Several bystanders may come to you and tell you that your bully is gunning for you. Here’s what they may say to you.

“You’ve got several people who are looking for you, and when they find you, they’re going to kick your butt.”

“You’d better hope Sheila doesn’t run into you because she’s got a bone to pick with you.”

Make no mistake! When bystanders come and tell you these things, they’re not doing it out of concern. They’re doing it to intimidate you and instill in you a sense of dread.

4. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Staring and Pointing.

When your bullies are in your face and there are people around to see it, those people may point and stare because they’re getting entertainment from seeing your bullies attack you.

And they won’t stop gawking until the fight is over. Then they will run and tell everyone how your bullies punked you out. Some might even embellish on the story to make it bigger and to make you look weaker.

But realize that they’re doing it because they want a story to tell all their friends.

5. Playing the Messenger between the Bully and Victim.

Many bystanders might run to you and bait you into saying something bad about your bullies. If you take the bait, they will then report back to your bullies with everything you told them. Also, they may embellish and add to what you said to make it worse.

They may then come back to you with how your bullies responded to get you to divulge more. And they will do this several times over.

If nothing else, know this! The reason these people play messenger is that they are itching to see a fight. Therefore, they try to stir it up. So, see their behavior for what it is.

They’re trying to get a fight started so they can watch, then go brag about it later. You should have nothing to do with these people.

The next time someone comes to you and tries to trick you into saying something about your bullies, ask them, “What’s it to you?” Then, tell them to get lost.

6. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Hopping on the Bandwagon and joining in.

When your bullies get in your face, many bystanders will join them in tormenting you. When the bullies accuse you of something, the bystanders might tell the bully that they saw you do it or heard you say it.

Or they may follow the bullies’ lead when they call you names and insult you. They may call you ugly names too.

Again, these bystanders are no better than you bullies are. In fact, they’re worse. Why? Because they don’t have the guts to confront you unless your bullies do it first. All they are is a bunch of flying monkeys.

And you know what usually happens to flying monkeys. Right? Once they do what the bullies want them to do, the bullies have no use for them anymore. Then, the bullies discard them like yesterday’s garbage.

7. Keeping the Rumor Mill Going about the Target Victim.

If your bullies have started a smear campaign against you, they start a rumor about you to ruin your reputation. The bystanders will then pick it up and keep it going.

And they may change the story around during the process and make it bigger. Therefore, you must see these people for who they are. They’re a bunch of followers and wannabes.

8. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Liking or Agreeing with Mean Social Media Posts.

If you’re being cyber-bullied, bystanders will often like any mean social media posts. If your bullies make vicious comments about you, they may like those too.

Anytime someone hits the like button on a mean post, it only means they agree with your bullies. Therefore, if these people happen to be on your friend or followers list, you must delete and block them immediately.

Because they’re not on your list to be your friend. They’re there to spy on you.

9. Inciting More Bullying Between the Bully and THE Target Victim.

Sadly, many bystanders get their kicks out of seeing bullies bully you. Therefore, they will egg it on to keep it going. When bystanders tried to keep the fires burning, you often hear the people around you cheer as your bully is telling you off or beating the crap out of you.

For instance, when your bully gets in your face, you might hear people in the background shouting and jeering. They may say things like, “Hit her! Just hit her!” Or you might hear them say, “Get him, Johnny!” or “Yeah! Set her ass straight!”

Understand where this behavior comes from. They like seeing you get pummeled by the bullies. Moreover, these bystanders are too chicken to do it themselves. Your bullies serve as proxies to them.

Therefore, you must stand up to bullies and show them and their supporters that you won’t take their abuse lying down.

10. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Getting pissed off at you for defending yourself.

Here’s an example. Your bullies approach you in the parking lot and try to provoke you. In fact, they’ve been giving you hell for a long time now, and you’re sick of it.

When one of your bullies hits you first, that’s the last straw. You immediately sock him in the nose, then commence to beating the mess out of him in front of everyone.

All of a sudden, everyone is outraged, not at the bully who started it, but at you for defending yourself. But where was their outrage when they were starting shit with you?

Again, see these bystanders for who they are – a bunch of agitators! And tell them all to take a long walk off a short pier!

11. Retaliating against you for defending yourself.

For instance, you may beat the crap out of one bully, then the bystanders may set you up to be attacked by a bigger bully. They may lie to the bigger bully, telling them that you are trying to get with his girl. Or they may tell them that you said something bad about him.

Whatever they do, they do it because they hate you for sweeping the floor with their hero – the bully they looked up to. Therefore, they’re going to pay you back by getting a bigger bully to attack you. Why? To increase the odds that you might get your butt kicked.

Again, have nothing to do with these bystanders because they’re a bunch of weak little cowards who can’t fight their own battles. So, they must get someone else to do their violence for them.

When Bystanders Become Bullies:

In Conclusion

Sadly, most bystanders are cowards. Chances are that they will not help you if you’re a target of bullying. They will only blame you because they hate you as much as your bullies do. But they don’t have the guts to attack you themselves.

The only way they can attack you is to do it subtly or join in with your bullies. So, see these people for who they are – a bunch of pathetic losers who are scared that they might be next. As long as you look at them this way, you keep your confidence up.

This post was all about the signs you see when bystanders become bullies, so that you will know when it’s time to change schools or begin looking for employment elsewhere.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

2. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

3. Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines

4. Guilt by Association Fallacy: How It Brings About Bullying

bullying statistics male vs female reddit

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female: How Males and Females Bully

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‘Want to know the bullying statistics, male vs female? Here is everything you need to know.

bullying statistics male vs female

In this post, you will learn the bullying statistics male vs female so that you can be prepared no matter what gender your bullies are.

Once you learn about these crucial details, you will be ready for anything.

This post is all about bullying statistics male vs female so that you will get a good idea of what to expect from bullies of either gender.

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female

Female bullies can be the most vicious because they seem to be better at going undetected than male bullies. Female bullying is also slightly worse than male bullying.

According to stopbullying.gov, “the prevalence of bullying is higher among female students (21.8%) than among male students (16.7%).”

Moreover, male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying, and females lean more toward bullying of the psychological variety.

Female Bullies

I’ll say again, but more descriptively. Although there are exceptions, most women and girls are passive-aggressive. They commit much of their bullying on a psychological level.

However, thanks to radical feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering. In other words, they attack your relationships. Girls and women use smear campaigns, gossip, rumors, and witch hunts. And they do it to turn others against you to keep them from supporting you.

They also project all of their own shortcomings onto you. Bullies do have flaws, and their greatest fear is you exposing them. Therefore, projection is the best way for them to keep their own imperfections hidden.

Female bullies will use distraction. In other words, they will distract others’ attention away from their behavior by pointing out yours. For instance, when girls bully you, they will point out your reaction to take the spotlight off their provocation.

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female:

Psychological vs Physical Bullying

Girls and some boys use psychological warfare. Psychological bullying includes but is not limited to exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors, and lies.

Also, it can include thievery, invasion of your privacy, and destruction of your property and relationships.

If this does not work, they may then resort to violence, although not as often as male bullies. If females want to attack you physically, they will likely persuade someone else to do the violence for them.

For instance, they may send a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend to catch you alone and beat you up. And they will get them to comply by offering incentives.

These girls may offer illicit sex to their male friends to get them to do what they want. On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion into their particular clique.  Also, they may offer the chance to climb the social ladder.

Girls and women who are passive-aggressive bullies may also offer money.

Why do female bullies attack your relationships and social life?

By primal instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women toward maintaining relationships, whether they be familial, friendships, or romantic.

Most girls and women, from a young age, dream of one day finding a mate and having children because they have an instinct to nurture. They are usually the caretakers of the family and home.

Thus, female bullies aim to sabotage your relationships.

Therefore, if you are a girl and the target of female bullies, they will call you names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, and other names that attack your femininity and virtues. They do this to limit your dating and marriage prospects.

The unspoken message is that you are not marriageable, not worthy of a mate or children, and they don’t consider you to be a woman.

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female:

A female bully wants to brainwash you.

This is the reason her attacks are so vicious and repetitive. She wants to convince you that you are worthless and will stop at nothing to make you believe it!

Moreover, she knows that if she attacks you enough times, she will likely convince you that her judgments of you are true. And, if she can make you believe the lies, there is a strong chance that you will live up to them.

We are what we believe. Therefore, vicious females know that if they can drum it into your head, they will succeed in breaking your spirit. Then they can make you prove them right about you.

Females Aren’t Always the Weaker Sex

Again, female bullies want you to live up to the names that they call you. Therefore, if they call you a whore, what they really want is for you to be one.

So don’t live up to it! Show her up! But don’t expect her to give up easily. Girls tend to hang on to their hatred to the point of obsession.

The bullying becomes a ritual. And when you stand up to them, don’t expect things to get better anytime soon. They will get worse before they get better.

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female:

Male bullies

Because nature has hardwired most males to be hunter-gatherers, guys tend to bully physically. And why not?

Back during prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring home the food to feed their families. Often, they had to fight off wild animals and men from other groups to survive.

Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression. Young men are expected to be strong and tough – to show manhood.

Therefore, if the target is another male, the boy bully will not only use his fists. He will also try to feminize him by repetitively emasculating him.

Emasculation of Male Targets

Male bullies often call their targets names like, “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack their maleness. If you are a male, your bullies will also do it to take away your pride and cause you to feel less like a man.

In short, your bullies will try to strip you of your manhood.

And if you speak out against the treatment, your bully will trivialize it by calling you a “whiner.” They may tell you to “man up.”

Moreover, your bully may also accuse you of going against “man-code” if you dare to report the bullying.

Male bullies who are physically violent usually beat up on males and females. However, there are a few who are so cowardly that they’ll never stand up against another guy but beat up on girls.

Bullying Statistics Male vs Female:

Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

Now, let’s discuss the plights of bullied females and bullied males.

When a female is bullied, not only are females bullying her, but males also bully her.  And the reason males bully her is to impress the female bullies and stay in their good graces.

When a female target reports the bullying, others retaliate against her for speaking out. They may even blame her. It’s the same outcome that male targets see when they report bullying.

What Bullied Girls Experience

Bullies shame female targets for their looks, femininity, and virtues. Again, if you are a female victim, they may call you names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and other names that attack you as a woman.

People may use your weight and appearance as a weapon to cause you harm. And, even if you are thin, they may still accuse you of being heavy.

If a teenage girl is mistreated severely enough, she may eventually turn to dating partners to get the approval she doesn’t get at school. This usually doesn’t end well.

This is why we must teach bullied girls to know their worth.

What Bullied Boys Experience

However, it’s much worse for boys. In most cases, bullied boys don’t have the dating option. Society expects boys to display manhood.

Again, male victims suffer emasculation. And all too often, they see no way to reclaim their manhood. Bullies do everything possible to feminize them. This erodes male self-esteem.

Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide

Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it will become next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, it’s much higher in males.

This is why we must encourage bullied males to stand up to bullies. We must let them know that it’s okay to hit back when a bully hits you first.

Remember that bullies only understand power and strength. Therefore, we must encourage our sons to defend themselves any time a bully attempts to attack them. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and reinforce it.

We must also encourage females to stand up for themselves. Moreover, they must also have older female role models. And these role models must instill in them that they are just as good as anyone else.

In Conclusion:

If you are a target of bullying, male or female, know that it’s okay to stand up to bullies. You have more power than you know. Know your worth and use your power!

This post is all about bullying statistics male vs female so that you know the methods bullies of each gender uses and the suffering that targets of each gender endure.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Male vs Female Bullying

2. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

3. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

 4. A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

5.  Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

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‘Want to know the difference of flattery vs compliment? Here are all the differences you need to know about.

flattery vs compliment

Compliments are great. But only if they come from the heart.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to differentiate flattery vs compliment so that you know when to say thank you and when someone is just trying to butter you up.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to spot a fake compliment when you hear one.

This post is all about the differences between flattery vs compliment and how you should respond to each.

Flattery vs compliment

Targets of bullying must know the difference between the two. And, surprisingly, many people think that compliments and flattery are one and the same. They aren’t.

A compliment is genuine. Whereas flattery is fake.

A compliment comes from the heart and is truthful. Also, compliments are earned. They’re reserved for people who deserve them. Compliments are given to praise someone for an accomplishment. They are an acknowledgement for a good deed or a job well done.

Flattery, on the other hand, is used for self-servitude. It is insincere, deceptive, and can be an insult to the recipient. Because, again, it is strictly used for selfish purposes. Flattery and insincere compliments are both the same.

Therefore, bullies never pay sincere compliments, especially to their victims. However, they will use flattery to butter them up to manipulate and exploit them. Bullies may also use flattery as a form of subtle sarcasm.

And if the target happens to be gullible, he may confuse it for genuine compliments. Bullies will then watch the victim’s face light up with over-excitement, then laugh later.

Remember that many targets of bullying are often thirsty for any sign of approval and praise because they don’t get enough of it, if they get any at all. Therefore, anything that even looks like approval, they’ll be excited to receive, even overly so.

So, what are the differences between flattery and compliments?

Flattery vs Compliment:

Your Relationship with the person giving it

Simple. You can tell by the kind of relationship you have with the person complimenting you. In other words, if the person complimenting you is a bully who normally mistreats you, then you can be sure that it’s flattery. And the compliment is fake, phony, and false.

I can’t stress this enough. Never take seriously any “compliment” you receive from a bully. When a bully is suddenly nice to you and gives compliments, it is likely an attempt to manipulate you.

A bully who compliments you is only flattering you. They are looking for an eventual payoff, be it psychological or otherwise.

In contrast, if the person is a true friend or family member who loves you and has never intentionally harmed you, you know that the compliment is for real. Even if the praise comes from a total stranger, it would be more acceptable than if it came from a bully.

Still, even with strangers, you should be gracious but cautious because they haven’t established a relationship with you yet. A simple thank you will do in this situation.

Make Sure Your Own Compliments are Sincere.

Just the same, if you are the one making the compliment, make sure the person you compliment is a close friend or family member. In other words, make sure that person damn well deserves it from you and that they’ve done something that warrants it.

Understand that most people know their strengths and weaknesses. And if you give them a false accolade on something they know they aren’t good at, they will see that you’re lying to them. Also, they will wonder what ulterior motives you have in giving them such a fake compliment.

And last and most importantly, never compliment a bully! Ever!

Flattery vs Compliment:

Here’s why:

  1. Bullies get their behinds kissed all the time, and it’s exactly how they’ll perceive it.
  2. You will be giving the bully a juicy opportunity to turn it against you and steamroll you with it.
  3. Bullies are the last people who deserve praise. Never give anyone anything they haven’t earned.

Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed-up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Again, compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken and humiliated I was because she said that aloud, in front of an audience. I vowed that, from that moment on, I would give compliments only to those I trusted.

Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.

Flattery vs Compliment:

They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.

Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

Follow these three rules, and I promise you that your value will increase significantly. It may not seem so, but it will.

So, how can you tell when your bullies are trying to butter you up to get something from you? Here’s what to look for.

1. A Sudden Chance of Heart.

Anytime your bullies have a sudden change of heart, your antennae should automatically go up! Nobody becomes a friend overnight. Friendship takes time because trust takes time to build.

Therefore, just as you shouldn’t rush into a romantic relationship, neither should you rush into a friendship. If someone who is usually brutal toward you suddenly begins treating you warmly, watch out!

Bullies will often begin sweet-talking you when they want something from you. So, look for them to ask you for something once they’ve buttered you up enough.

2. Flattery vs Compliment:

Excessive Sweet-Talk

You must understand that bullies have a higher understanding of human nature than most. They instinctively know that after they’ve bullied you over a certain amount of time and turned enough people against you, you’ll likely be hungry for any morsel of kindness.

People can sense when you’re vulnerable. And they will take full advantage!

You’ll know that something is off because your bullies will overdo the pleasantries. They’ll use excessive flattery. And, man! Do they lay it on thick!

Therefore, if they’re so sickeningly sweet that you swear you’re getting a mouthful of cavities just listening to them, that’s your cue to find the door.

3. fake smiles

A genuine smile is when a person smiles with their eyes and their mouth. You’ll see their eyes light up and crinkles develop around their eyes. On the other hand, if someone smiles only with their mouth, it’s time to end the conversation and excuse yourself.

4. Micro-flashes

If you pay close attention to body language and facial expressions, you’ll notice those tiny, split-second flashes of contempt on their faces. Moreover, you’ll notice them when your bullies think you aren’t looking or paying attention.

Therefore, don’t ignore those. Bid them goodbye and politely leave.

5. Flattery vs Compliment

Giggling or smirking among themselves after you turn and walk away

They’ll look at you until you turn your back. Once you walk away, they’ll give each other knowing glances. Or, they may look at each other and give a wink, a nod, or both.

Also, you may hear giggling and snickering as you walk away. These are a dead giveaway! Therefore, give these idiots the boot!

6. They will get furious when you politely decline any invitations or requests.

Again! Steer clear. It only goes to show that they don’t respect you as a person with boundaries and human rights!

Also, it’s a sign that in their invitations or requests, they more than likely had plans for you that you don’t know about. Maybe they invited you to dinner or a party as a way to lure you to a possible set-up for something humiliating or dangerous?

You never know. And if you don’t know, don’t go!

7. Your Gut will warn you!

When it comes to bullies, always be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. Therefore, if your bullies shower you with flattery, you’ll notice that something doesn’t feel right.

This is your first clue. Your gut will always warn you when there’s danger around. So, listen to it.

Flattery vs Compliment:

In Conclusion:

Any time bullies want something from you, the first thing they do is have a sudden change of heart and pour on the flattery. Therefore, always look at how they’ve treated you in the past. Because past behavior always predicts future behavior.

You’re a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

This post was all about the differences in flattery vs compliment so that you will see the difference and protect yourself from insincere people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me? Here are 5 Reasons to Beware!

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You  

that bullied vibe you put out

That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

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Have you ever heard of that bullied vibe that victims of bullying give off that attracts more bullies and other human predators? Here’s everything that you need to know about it.

that bullied vibe

After bullies have targeted them for so long, some victims will give off certain micro-expressions of victimhood. And they will attract new bullies once the old ones leave their lives.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about that bullied vibe, what it is, and how you can avoid giving it off.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to exude confidence instead of low self-esteem once you leave a bullying environment. Moreover, you won’t have any trouble with bullies.

This post is all about that bullied vibe, so that you know what it is and how to keep history from repeating itself.

That Bullied Vibe

What is it? It’s low energy that comes from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and lack of self-belief. For instance, a person who gives off these kinds of vibes may exhibit specific non-verbal cues that scream, “Weak! Submissive! Vulnerable!”.

These cues include lack of eye contact, slouching, looking down, and appearing nervous. They can also include people-pleasing, neediness, approval-seeking, and desperation for friends or dating partners.

For instance, your bullies have bullied you for years. Moreover, they’ve managed to turn everyone against you, and your friends only side with your bullies.

Losing friends has become the norm for you. And because you suffer deprivation of human friendships, you’ve lost your sense of belonging.

Because the bullying has crushed your self-esteem, you begin slouching when you stand and avoid eye contact with people. You also feel nervous in social situations, and it shows!

After you’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, you become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of connection. So, you become needy. You begin exhibiting approval-seeking behaviors to try to win friends. Only the outcome is the opposite. You only attract more bullying.

In doing all this, you signal to everyone around you that you are a victim. In other words, you give off that bullied vibe.

That Bullied Vibe:

Neediness always invites abuse.

Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down. They leave you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate!

Realize that evil always attaches itself to the weak and most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away.

Therefore, if you give off even the tiniest scent of weakness, you will repel those who are emotionally healthy. In contrast, you will attract only the lowlifes who mean to use and abuse you.

Predators love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When bullies make you powerless, you will attract fake friends.

And they’ll only use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will pretend to be friends so that they can get close enough to you to hurt you.

They may use you for money or material things. Or they may use you for social benefits. Also, they may feign friendship to dominate you.

Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit; they’re here for theirs.

Bullies have a refined ability to sense weakness.

In fact, they have an internal radar for it. They can see vulnerability as plain as day.  In other words, they can tell if you’re confident in your ability to defend yourself. And they know whether they can wield power over someone.

People who have been abused often have learned helplessness. Bullies instantly pick up on this. Why? Because they are always on the hunt for easy prey. And a person who has the power to make their lives unpleasant is not easy prey.

It’s why they only target certain people and not others. Bullies are less likely to target a confident person than they are to select someone who isn’t confident.

That Bullied Vibe:

How and When does it start?

Sometimes, it starts somewhere during early childhood. Maybe your initial self-value and self-love were compromised by abuse. Perhaps you had parents who were overly aggressive with discipline.

It could be that you had older siblings who terrorized you. Maybe they made you believe that your feelings didn’t count.

Or you were born different. Maybe you have autism, and people have treated you like a disease.

Whatever the case may be, it broke your spirit. They conditioned you, and subconsciously, you started believing that you were defective – that you were inferior to others.

However, if nothing else, understand this. All false beliefs are created through traumatic experiences. They also stem from societal conditioning.

And, as time passes, those beliefs fester until they begin attracting experiences of bullying. This is why you must learn to recognize the connection between bullying and the unconscious beliefs you adopted earlier in your life.

The longer you don’t, the more bullying experiences you will have, and the more they will reinforce those false beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Moreover, the more victimized you will feel.

As a result, you will become more reclusive, more avoidant, and more unsure of yourself and others.

Never let them break your spirit!

Your spirit breaks the moment you accept other people’s definition of you. When you take your bullies’ judgements as truth, they win.

I know this is always easy to do. When you’re a small child, you can’t see the hidden motives of abusers. Therefore, when your frustrated mother lashes out at you, or your drug-addicted father abuses you, or an insecure older sibling teases you, their words penetrate your spirit.

As a result, they become a part of your inner dialogue. Why? Because the people who force-feed you this garbage are supposed to love you. Right?

“They’re probably saying these things for my own good. They know what’s best for me. So, I must have screwed up somewhere. I must have done something to cause these people so much frustration.”

That Bullied Vibe:

Toxic Beliefs don’t just HAPPEN. Others plant them in your mind.

 And there you have it. That’s what your bullies sense. They sense your belief that you are defective and that you are not good enough.

And the sad thing is that these beliefs are subconscious. Therefore, they’re more difficult to tackle. If you’re a victim, oftentimes, you become frustrated because you don’t understand why history keeps repeating itself.

You’re at a loss as to why the same shit has happened to you over and over again throughout your entire life.

But here’s what is happening here. 

You have very low self-esteem. And, because of this, you wear an invisible “kick-me sign”. Others may not see it, but they can sense it.

They can tell when you have a deeply buried fear of rejection. Also, you may be co-dependent. You likely don’t have any opinions, ideas, or principles of your own. Therefore, you constantly look to others for advice.

And this probably gets on people’s nerves, so you drive good people away. Others may lash out at you.

However, you must realize that these are only self-fulfilling prophesies.

How to Get Rid of That bullied Vibe and avoid attracting more bullies.

The trick is to dig deep down inside of yourself. Recall the memories of judgment that people instilled in you early in life. Also, remember that they conditioned you to think the thoughts that bring bullying about.

Then, re-frame those judgements as wrong. Moreover, start replacing your self-judgements with compassion and love for yourself.  Do this with the love you would feel for a wounded child.

And most importantly, be patient because the change won’t happen overnight. Life will do everything it can to reinforce the negatives each day. So, you will need to do a lot of work to go against it.

When self-diminishing thoughts try to creep in, you must catch them and reverse them. You must replace them with thoughts of self-love.

You will need patience.

Again, it will be a slow process. However, if you remain focused and continue the work, you will eventually repair the damage your abusers did to your spirit. And the curse will finally be broken.

And here’s another solution. If your bullies are still in your life, cut them out of it. Also, find your purpose. Set goals and achieve them. Create your own power.

Your bullies may still try to bully you. But they will back down quicker if you defend yourself and carry yourself with confidence. You don’t have to be tall, muscular, or good-looking. Just use what you have.

What are your talents and gifts? What are your superpowers? And what are your goals and dreams? We all have them, and they come in many forms. Get to know yourself. Accept yourself, love yourself, and be proud of who you are.

This post was all about that bullied vibe so that you can take steps to change your mindset and undo any self-defeating beliefs that took root from past bullying and abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

3. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

4. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well 

it only gets better with time

It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying

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Do you know that you will eventually escape bullying and that it only gets better after you do? Here is the encouragement you need to keep hope alive.

it only gets better

Your situation may seem hopeless now. But trust me when I tell you that it won’t always be this way. Things will change, and sooner than you think.

In this post, you will learn that the bullying you suffer now will eventually end and that it only gets better from there.

Once you learn this incredible truth, you will be encouraged to keep pushing, keep holding on, and never give up.

This post is here to remind you that the bullying you suffer will end. Then, it only gets better from there. Keep going and you’ll soon be glad you did.

It Only Gets Better 

If you are a target of bullying, you must hold on. Although intense- even unbearable, your pain will only be temporary. I don’t say this lightly because I know what you must be thinking.

“But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands! Nobody else is going through it! How can she possibly understand the daily hell I endure at work (or at school)?”

I do understand. Once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today. You want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance, only for others to beat it out of you! So strong is the desire to believe in yourself and see your value. Yet others repeatedly and deliberately tear you down!

The night always turns darkest before the dawn.

All you want is to speak and have your voice heard! But others only silence you with threats of physical harm and further degradation. The threat of suspension or the loss of your job and livelihood hangs over your head.

Also, the danger of having opportunities for future employment ruined looms over you. Or you face the possibility of a school suspension or expulsion.

Survivors know firsthand what it feels like. You want to move forward, but bullies keep holding you back.

You want to escape the torment. But you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will!

I know the bewilderment when people curse your very existence. It’s terrifying when bullies bombard you with death threats.

They force you to sacrifice your needs and wants for theirs. It sucks to see others getting gratification and entertainment at your expense.

When people dehumanize you, it can be life-altering. Many others, just like you, have also felt the pain of being verbally bullied. Many even get slapped, kicked, and beaten.

It’s no fun when people scorn, disregard, and trample you underfoot. You don’t know how much I hurt for you.

It Only Gets Better:

Know that SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND and They care.

We know what it feels like. It’s like someone running you over with a truck. The driver then stops, shifts into reverse, and backs over you again.

Then, he shifts back into drive and mows over you yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

And if you show any signs of life- any whimper or movement, it only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and repeat. Therefore, he continues doing so until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is how bullying feels. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they succeed at it.

But there is Hope!

You will not have to deal with these people forever. Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

Moreover, your bullies won’t even matter to you when you reach success.

You are beautiful, intelligent, and awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you- unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the value you bring. And they will see you as the asset you truly are!

Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names, physically beat you, humiliate you, and turn others against you.

Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present. But they won’t be in your life forever. Bullies eventually drift out of it.

It Only Gets Better:

But rest assured, Your Life won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school or high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend. And the same will happen for you, too.

You won’t linger in that poisonous environment forever. Life gets better.

When you escape, your confidence will blossom.

There will come a day when you will be happy and have so much to be thankful for. You’ll have a family of your own.

You will enjoy your job and feel comfortable in your skin. Also, you will accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

You will grow to love yourself, imperfections and all.

You won’t worry about what others think of you, and you will permit yourself to be you. Moreover, you will have the courage to say no when you don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to you.

These will be freedoms that you will enjoy and never give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

It Only Gets Better:

Don’t Give Up! There’s Life after Bullying.

I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. There’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting.

Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have. Because it may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.

You will be surrounded by family and friends who love and accept you for who you are, not only for what you can do for them. And you will have friends you never have to explain anything to.

They will love your flaws and quirks, along with your good qualities. You’ll feel so secure with being yourself that you can make fun of yourself and have a good time doing it.

You’ll be relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! You will find your circle of friends, and once you meet them, they will have been worth the wait.

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It only gets better! Much better!

Your bullies only bully you because you have a light that blinds them. Therefore, they are trying like the devil to dim that light. Don’t let them do it.

You may feel dead now. But someday, you will overcome the abuse, and it will breathe life back into you. Don’t give up now. There’s always hope. Keep looking to the future.

Heed these words. You will have life. You will have love. And you will look back on this and be amazed that you not only survived, but you overcame!

The Purpose of this post was to assure you that it only gets better and that there is life after bullying so that you will be inspired to keep pushing forward when times get the toughest. Don’t give up! Choose Life!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

2. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

3. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

A woman who knows her worth is dangerous

A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

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‘Want to know how to be a woman who knows her worth? Here are seven things you never settle for when you know your worth.

a woman who knows her worth

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they were a little more selective!

Then there’s the woman who knows her worth. I’ve met these women too and I discovered that there are things they won’t settle for.

Therefore in this post, you will learn how to be a woman who knows her worth. Also, you’ll learn the 5 things you should never settle for.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a powerful force to be reckoned with. In that, you will begin respecting yourself. As a result, you will also get the respect you deserve.

This post is all about how to be a woman who knows her worth so that you can command respect and get the best out of life. Moreover, bullies will think twice before they mess with you.

A Woman who Knows Her Worth

This woman knows her value, and she knows that she is high-value. Therefore, there are people and things that she absolutely will not settle for. Here are seven of these things.

1. Partners who don’t value her.

A woman who knows her worth won’t settle for some no-count loser who doesn’t treat her well. I’ve known women who did, though. And I’ve seen their partners degrade them and try to control them.

Insecure women think that they can change their no-good partners. Maybe they think that he has “potential.” Therefore, they tell themselves those lies to keep from being alone.

They tell themselves that the partner is just going through a rough patch. They fool themselves into thinking that, eventually, he’ll do better. Again, this is how they end up letting these toxic men drag them down.

But a woman who knows her worth will never date beneath her standards. She knows she’s better off alone than with some creep who wants to dominate her. Therefore, she won’t put up with shabby treatment to keep a partner around.

Instead, she’ll drop him and move on with her life. She knows that her time is valuable. Therefore, she doesn’t waste her time with a partner who doesn’t value her or the good she brings.

So, she won’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who disrespects her and takes her for granted. She’ll stay by herself until she finds someone who cherishes her.

2. A woman who KNOWS her worth doesn’t settle for a PARTNER who IS broke and jobless.

This woman won’t give her time to any guy who is broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.

Guys who are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them are a definite no-go. This is because this woman is wise. She knows that this becomes a pattern for men like these.

Therefore, she won’t choose some scrub she’ll likely have to support. She won’t do like insecure women do and pay his bills and try to make life easier for them. No.

She wants a man who is responsible for his life and who can provide for her. Not some loser she’d have to spend all her hard-earned money to keep out of jail.

Instead, she’d rather be alone than put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep her broke and stressed out.

Therefore, she won’t date someone who doesn’t have their shit together.

3. Friends who stab her in the back.

This woman chooses her friends wisely. She doesn’t settle for jealous frenemies who are secretly out to derail her from her goals.

She avoids backstabbers, mean girls, and shrews like the plague. Why? Because she’s dealt with many of them and has no desire to ever deal with these types of women again.

She knows that they would only drain her confidence, wreck her self-esteem, and suck the life out of her. Therefore, she has nothing to do with these broads.

4. A woman who knows her worth will never be a side-chick

This woman will never date a guy who’s already taken. Why? Because she knows that she is so much more than that. Therefore, she refuses to play second fiddle. No way will she pick up another woman’s sloppy seconds!

She knows that if she does, she’ll only set herself up to be the last choice in a man’s life. Therefore, she won’t settle for the crumbs under the table when she’s worthy of having the whole meal at the table.

She’s content to wait until a partner of her own finds her. Therefore, married men need not apply.

She’s smart enough to know that if a man will cheat on his wife, he’ll eventually cheat on her. Also, sleeping with another woman’s husband is the same as wearing her underwear. Ewww! Therefore, if a married man hits on her, she’ll quickly tell him to get lost.

There’s no dignity in being a side chick.  This woman knows this. Therefore, she won’t reduce herself to that. No way will she cheapen herself by eating another woman’s leftovers.

5. Catty Women Who Bully her and drag her down.

It’s rarely the not-so-good women and butt-floss wearing females who get targeted for bullying? It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect that people treat the worst.

But why?

The running narrative is that anything goes, and that showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man. However, here’s the reality. No guy worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage, with such a woman.

Another reason is that many people believe that classy women are old-fashioned and boring. They prioritize the wrong things nowadays (attention, approval, admiration, and popularity).

So, they’re all for engaging in indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will get them lots of those social benefits. Why? Because bullies are all about having followers who idolize and worship them as they sneer at others who aren’t ratchet like they are.

Here’s a third reason a woman who knows her worth might get bullied.

Because she’s a lady, and a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. On the other hand, the arrogant she-bullies are more than likely the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls.

A woman who knows her worth doesn’t have to work so hard to get attention.

And a lady deems attention-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that and are angered by it.

Reason number four is that the ladies end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to get male attention or to fit in. Moreover, they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.

The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs. They draw the beta-men who only pose as alphas, and the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it, then quit it.

It’s the women who are ladies who attract the real men.

A lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand. She knows she’s worth more than just her body. The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her.

She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her because they don’t matter to her.

It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl, who will score a high-value man. Why? Because she is a high-value woman.

A woman who knows her worth is a principled woman.

This lady will live a good life because she has good morals that she chooses to live by. And the morals they have are, in fact, so strong that they’re unchanged by the decaying society in which we unfortunately live.

Instead of fitting in by being half-naked, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy. And that’s why she’s already ahead of the game.

She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack. Ladies, on the other hand, are wife-for-life material.

They don’t let the desire to fit in cause them to relax their values, their morals, their beliefs, and their convictions. These women hold on to their standards.

Therefore, if you’re one of those women, you may be feeling lonely now.  But the things about you that your bullies ridicule will be the very qualities that real people, with strong beliefs and values, will cherish. You just wait!

6. A job that drains her.

She won’t work for anyone who drains her energy and crushes her spirit. Toxic bosses will be surprised when she hands in her resignation. Bullying coworkers might feel relieved when she quits.

But that’s only because they were all afraid she’d make them look like the incompetent fools they are. And now they don’t have to worry about that.

7. A woman who knows her worth rejects anything that doesn’t fulfill her.

This woman will have nothing to do with anything or anyone who doesn’t fill her with purpose. She quickly discards what doesn’t feed her soul. She has no time for false friends, female bullies, backstabbers, abusive partners, and other toxic people.

Why? Because she loves herself and she knows her worth. She also knows that life is short and it’s a one-shot deal. Therefore, she does what she must do to make it count.

This post is all about the things that a woman who knows her worth WOULDN’T settle for so that you can follow her lead, snub the bullies, and live your best life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

2. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

3. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

4. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

5. Why You Should Love Yourself: 10 Things that Happen if You Don’t  

how to deal with haters and jealous people

How to Deal with Haters and Why Having Them is Good

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‘Want to know how to deal with haters? Here’s everything you need to know.

how to deal with haters

Haters can make your life harder than it should be. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with haters without stooping to their level.

Once you learn all of this essential and detailed information, you will be able to rise above your bullies and haters confidently.

This post is all about how to deal with haters so that you can save your self-esteem without sacrificing your goodness.

How to Deal with Haters

Anyone who’s anyone has haters. If you don’t have haters, you aren’t doing something right. Therefore, if you have haters and bullies on your back, maybe they hate you because you have something they wish they had.

Or, it could be because they’re so miserable with their own lives that they want to give you a difficult time to feel better about themselves.

Whatever the case, realize that their hatred is only hurting them, not you.

Hate Only hurts the Hater, Not the Hated

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate – up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt its painful sting. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve even directed toward others in those days.

However, hatred is worthless. Most people don’t understand the damage it does to not the hated, but the hater!

Hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it.

In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies. I’ve stared deep into their eyes, down into their souls! And I firmly believe that if there weren’t a law against murder, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

How to Deal with Haters:

When You’re On the Receiving End of Hatred

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because hate will eat you up inside and make you batty. It is a sick and twisted obsession, and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgment and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.

Hate is Harmful on Both Sides

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience and dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil.

The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person. However, they would disapprove of it, even condemn it, if it’s against anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. It destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less. You couldn’t care less if the person is doing well or poorly, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

How to Deal with Haters:

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

On the other hand, with hate, you care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to make sure nothing good happens to those you hate.

And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to the hated person. This is what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them. And how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you win. Even the greatest have haters.

Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be.

It depends on how you look at it and how you use it. Once you start seeing the positives in it, they won’t be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even enjoy watching them squirm every time they see you.

How to Deal with Haters:

5 Reasons They Hate You So Much

The greatest people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. But many of them don’t understand why.

Therefore, if you have haters, you probably wonder, “What did I ever do to them?”

You may think to yourself, “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, why do these people hate me so much?”

So, allow me to answer.

You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong. Period! What they think doesn’t matter. Know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are. Now, you’re probably thinking, “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me like they do?”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Here are the reasons your haters have a problem with you.

1. How to Deal with Haters:

They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on you. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mom’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. They’d go out of their way to keep that hidden. Why? Because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it anywhere else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities, and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life. And their only source of entertainment and an endorphin rush is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for. Why? Because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives.

And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin your life.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today. Many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a lovely home, a good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be satisfied, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one.

There are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, they’re miserable people, and you shouldn’t hate them back; you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want. Yet they get outraged at those who work hard and achieve the things they wish for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters don’t want to work. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it, and if you do, you have the choice not to care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have. Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look, they don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition. And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Again, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. You are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds. Why? Because if they can’t have what you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Reasons You Have Haters:

Let your haters be your motivation.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it. Why? Because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

The thoughts and opinions of bullies are worthless to you, or they should be. This may sound strange to many targets, especially those whom bullies have brainwashed for so long.

And that’s a terrible thing. Therefore, if you’re a target who has been conditioned, I’d like for you to ask yourself these questions:

Has it benefited me in any way to measure my value as a person by the opinions of bullies?

Would my bullies be able to hold up as well as I do if they themselves had to endure bullying?

Even on the off-chance that they could, does that give them license to judge me, a person who is enduring something that would break many others?

If we all worried about the opinions of our bullies and haters, the world wouldn’t have even a tenth of it’s population. Moreover, we wouldn’t have doctors, lawyers, writers, comedians, singers, actors, and other such great people.

They all would have collapsed under the crushing weight of anticipated judgements and personal attacks. Therefore, they never would have reached the heights of success that they have.

Therefore, let your haters be your motivation to love yourself, to care for yourself, and to improve your life.

It’s Not What They Call You, It’s What You Answer to.

Your favorite rock star receives hate and vitriolic comments over a few lyrics in one of his songs. Back in the pre-Internet days, famous actors and musicians got bags of hate mail along with the fan mail.

Many targets of bullying have an intense fear of being judged, and it’s exactly what holds them back in life. Why? Because it can cause you to hold back your feelings. Furthermore, you will allow this fear to stifle your talents and creativity.

Realize that a bully’s judgment is only a reflection of their own fears and insecurities.

This is why you must never allow haters or anyone else to make you believe that their feelings about you are more important than how you feel about yourself. Never take your bullies’ word over your own. Never allow their opinions to trump yours.

And once you realize how cheap your bullies’ thoughts and opinions of you really are, they will have less effect on you.

Reasons You Have Haters:

In Closing

You should love your haters. Why? Because your haters are your fans, they just don’t know it. They keep you relevant.

One thing bullies and haters despise is when they can’t get you to hate yourself.

How you deal with haters is to let them hate and keep doing your thing. Keep being yourself. And continue to love yourself.

Know the real reasons you have haters and feel good about it!

This post gave you all the reasons you have haters to motivate, inspire, and encourage you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Reasons You Have Haters

2. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

3. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

things bullies hate most

Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

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‘Want to know about all the things bullies hate? Here are the most common things they despise.

things bullies hate

There are things bullies hate, and if you know what they are, you can use them to gain an advantage.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the most common things bullies hate so that you can weaponize them to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to protect yourself the next time they come for you.

This post is all about the things bullies hate most, so that you can gain the advantage you need to ensure your safety.

Things Bullies Hate

Bullies have images to keep up. Therefore, they hate anything that pokes holes in their image. And they hate anyone who sees behind the facades. So, what are the things that might threaten their images of perfection?

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only react to it as if it is a personal attack. Constructive criticism is designed to help you, not harm you. However, bullies don’t see it that way.

Constructive criticism makes you better. In contrast, destructive criticism tears you down. Let’s give an example of constructive and destructive criticism.

Constructive:

“What you did was foolish.”

Destructive:

“You’re foolish.”

Constructive criticism attacks the deed. Destructive criticism attacks the person. However, bullies can’t tell the difference because they’re too wrapped up in themselves to notice.

Remember that bullies are highly egocentric. They must always be right about everything. Or, more appropriately, look as if they’re right about everything. Bullies have a knack for hiding beneath a veneer of total perfection.

They do this for several reasons.

  1. It makes them look better than they really are.
  2. The veneer of perfection can be used as protection from accountability and shield them from reproach.
  3. It can be used to draw others to them and fool them.
  4. It can be used as a weapon against their targets.
  5. It gives them status and social capital.
  6. It gives them the attention and admiration they seek.

Things Bullies Hate:

Bullies hate getting it, but they love giving it.

Bullies love criticizing you because it makes them look like they’re smarter than you. They will use the veil of constructive criticism to disparage others they deem inferior and unworthy.

They may tell you that they’re only giving you this criticism to help you. However, they’re doing it to show you and everyone else that they’re superior to you. A bully’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

If a bully ever unfairly criticizes you, you must stand up to them. Tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own affairs and go on about their business.

And if they keep it up, hit them with their own book of standards. You can always say something like:

“That sounds real good coming from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Now, get out of here and go on about your business.”

This is one comeback you can use. It’s straightforward and, even better, it’s blunt. It’s nothing fancy. You don’t have to get cute or witty with it. Just say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it in as few words as possible.

2. Rules

Bullies hate following rules. Remember that bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Moreover, they crave power. And the more power they have, the more they want.

Therefore, they feel that rules don’t apply to them. In their minds, rules are for everyone else.

3. Things Bullies Hate:

Being Stood up to

Bullies despise it when you stand up to them. Why? Because you are challenging their perceived authority. Therefore, they will fight you tooth and nail to reinforce their power over you.

Realize that when you stand up to a bully, things usually get worse before they get better. This is because bullies aren’t used to you defending yourself. In fact, they aren’t used to anyone standing up to them.

This is because others usually kiss their ass and give them free reign.

Therefore, bullies grow quite comfortable with having carte blanche to ride roughshod over you any time they feel like it. And they don’t want those advantages to stop.

Therefore, they’ll fight even harder to keep getting those benefits, even if they do come at your expense.

You must get this through your head right now. Bullies do not care about how they’ve hurt you. They don’t care about how much you’ve suffered from their abuse. The only thing they care about is power and whether they can keep getting what they want from you.

So, they will increase the abuse, not only to punish you, but also to wear you down. Why? Because if they can make you too tired to keep fighting, then they keep the upper hand.

Therefore, they will fight harder to keep you down at first. What you must do is stay strong, no matter how exhausted you may become. And you must also fight harder. This means you have to fight harder than they do.

It’s the only way you will ever get them to leave you alone.

4. Things Bullies Hate:

You proving them wrong

When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect. This puts a dent in their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshining them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you back down where they think you should be.

6. Things Bullies Hate:

Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

Understand that bullies see any successes or accomplishments you achieve as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is drawn from a sense of one-upmanship and winning over.

Therefore, if you make a huge accomplishment or win any award or prize, bullies will see it as competition with them. As a result, they will escalate the bullying to punish you for that success.

Bullies will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

7. Taking Orders

Remember that bullies are primarily concerned with exerting power. Therefore, they despise taking orders. Why? Because to take orders means that they must be in a position of inferiority.

Bullies have an attitude of superiority. They don’t follow orders; they give them.

8. Things Bullies Hate:

Someone treating them the way they treat their victims

Bullies are notorious for expecting you to be okay with treatment that they would never be OK with. In their minds, it’s OK for them to treat others with disrespect.

However, when you kick the shit back their way, they become outraged. This is because bullies think that they’re exempt from having to suffer negative treatment.

Bullies think that they’re entitled to respect and admiration. And they become quite angry if you don’t give it to them. Moreover, they may even retaliate vengefully if they feel you aren’t giving them the recognition they think they deserve.

Therefore, see them for who they are… a bunch of smug, self-important turds who think the world should bow before them. Instead of kissing up to them, give them the treatment they give you. Regard them with indifference and dismissal.

9. Being ignored.

I’ve met many bullies who despised being ignored, even if they were acting like total jackasses. Realize that bullies crave attention, and they will do anything to get it.

They want to be the center of attention. “All eyes on me! Look at me! I’m special!”

Therefore, the best thing to do with them is to give them the attention they don’t want. And that is to stand up to them and tell them to get a life. Also, you can give them a dismissive look and walk away.

Things Bullies Hate:

In Closing

Bullies hate anything that doesn’t focus on them. Therefore, the worst you can do to them is dismiss them and keep going about your business. Sometimes, you must give bullies a dose of their own medicine to keep your self-esteem intact.

If you know what your bullies hate most, you can leverage it.

This post was all about the things bullies hate so that you can use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous 

2. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise 

bullying and ego psychology

Bullying and Ego: Why Bullies Won’t Let You Go

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‘Want to know why bullying and ego are so tightly connected? Here are all the details you need to know.

bullying and ego

Bullying stems from ego. Moreover, many bullies feel the need to get that ego boost at your expense because they can’t control their own lives. So they seek to get control of yours. If you’re a victim of bullying, especially if you have been for a long time, you too may feel as if you have no control over your life.

To take back your power, you must first know where bullying comes from and its underlying causes. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and ego and how they connect.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, it will compel you to stand up to your bullies once and for all and stop being the food that feeds their over-inflated egos.

This post is all about all the ways bullying and ego connect, so that you will get angry and take steps to grab your power back.

Bullying and Ego

If people are bullying you and have been doing so for a long time, you may feel powerless. You may think that you have lost complete control over your life. And, in truth, you have.

Powerlessness is the sense that you have no control over what happens to you. It diminishes your sense of security.

And for bullies to take away your power, they must crush your ego to feed theirs.

For Bullies to Feel Powerful, they must make you powerless.

In other words, they must chip away at your power and self-esteem for long enough that they reduce you to feeling like, “it’s out of my hands.” This takes time. But bullies are relentless, and worst of all, patient.

Bullies are empowered by stripping away your power. In fact, it’s the only way they can achieve power. When you stand up to them, they are left to deal with their own mental issues.

By riding roughshod over you, they don’t have to think about their own flaws and shortcomings. Instead, they can continue to convince themselves that they’re the alpha dogs.

Therefore, they gradually increase the attacks until they subdue you. Once they do this, you begin to feel like you have no control over your life. And, if you have that feeling for long enough, it can induce hopelessness.

This is what bullies hope for. Why? Because once they drive you to hopelessness, they’ll induce learned helplessness. In other words, you’ll likely stop fighting back and surrender to them. And that’s when they’ve got you!

Bullies know human nature like the backs of their hands. They know what works and what doesn’t. If they can’t get you one way, they’ll get you another.

Therefore, they’ll experiment with you by trying different kinds of attacks until they find the one that works on you. Then they’ll stick to what works.

Your bullies will slowly intensify their abuse to wear you down. And once they wear you down, you’ll likely give up.

Bullying and Ego:

Where do hopelessness and Learned Helplessness come from?

Hopelessness and learned helplessness don’t come from bullying and abuse per se. No. They stem from the inability to escape it. 

In 1967, Overmier and Seligman conducted an experiment on dogs to prove that learned helplessness was a real phenomenon. They locked the dogs in cages and then subjected them to electric shocks.

Naturally, the dogs tried to run away – to escape the painful shocks. However, the two scientists prevented the dogs from escaping.

Therefore, when the dogs realized that there was no way they could run from the shocks, they began cowering and showing signs of depression.

The dogs endured anywhere from twenty-four hours to one hundred sixty-eight hours of imprisonment and shocks. Finally, the researchers opened the doors to their cages and allowed them to go free.

However, the dogs didn’t attempt to flee. The dogs were broken. They only continued whimpering and cowering in the corners of their cages, even with the doors wide open.

The same happens to you after you’ve suffered bullying for long enough and have no way to escape it. You lose hope, and learned helplessness creeps in.

As a result, you stop defending yourself because you realize that it does no good. Again, this is what your bullies count on. So, when you stand up to them, things usually get worse before they get better.

Bullying and Ego:

Your powerlessness feeds your bullies’ egos.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Again, their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

“How dare you!”

What happens when you take your power back?

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls!

It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Also, many bullies will come up behind you and give you a hard shove if you turn your back and walk away from them.

They become even more abusive to bring you back under their control. Moreover, they will gaslight you. If they don’t deny the abuse, they’ll try to convince you that you brought it on yourself.

Bullying and Ego:

This is why you should never stop standing up for yourself.

When you stand up to bullies, you are setting boundaries. Bullies despise boundaries of any kind. Remember that bullies have gargantuan egos. They think that you should give them carte blanche to walk over you any time they feel like it.

Therefore, expect them to try to wear you down with endless attacks at first. Because, believe me, they will! And, no matter how exhausted you may become, don’t stop fighting for yourself.

You must continue to defend yourself. Because if you give up because you’re tired, the bullying will get worse. As long as you stay in the fight, you have a good chance of wearing your bullies out instead.

Trying to keep someone down is hard work, especially if they defend themselves. When you stand up to bullies, you don’t make it easy on them. Instead, you make them have to work.

You must be a force to be reckoned with.

Therefore, you must be such a huge challenge for them that they get tired. In fact, you must be willing to inflict a lot of pain on them in the process.

Therefore, the worse they bully you, the worse you fight back. When they attack you, you counterattack them harder. When they hit you, you hit back harder.

You must give your bullies consequences they’ll never forget. Moreover, you must inflict so much pain on them that they won’t even think of messing with you again.

Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness. You can’t reason with bullies. No amount of diplomacy will stop them. Bullies only mock you, then keep right on bullying you.

The only thing bullies respond to is strength and power. When you handle them with strength, that’s when they pay attention. When you impose painful consequences on them, they’ll listen up. Believe me!

You must make yourself too painful to deal with. You must be too much of a problem to handle. Only then will your bullies decide that you aren’t worth the trouble and leave you alone.

Why? Because, when you can make them think, “Oh, shit! I don’t want none of that,” that’s when you won’t have to worry about them ever coming for you again.

Bullies are cowards. Bullying is what cowards do. If you can make them fear you, they won’t even look in your direction. And if you can make bullies not want to mess with you, then no one else will either. This is how you earn respect.

This post is all about bullying and ego so that you will be motivated to stand up to bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

4. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health