‘Want to know all the low self-esteem causes? Here are seven things that trigger low self-esteem, along with actions you can take to reverse them.
Low self-esteem doesn’t just happen. It is caused. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the low self-esteem causes so that you can heal yourself.
Once you learn all about these essential facts, you will be able to recognize the early warning signs and take steps to repair things early.
This post is all about low self-esteem causes so that you can take steps to save it when someone tries to put a dent in it.
Low self-Esteem CAuses
Insecurity and a lack of confidence are not characteristics that we’re born with. They are taught!
People begin chipping away at your self-esteem when you are a small child. Bullies and abusive family members can program it into you. This is no secret.
However, well-meaning family members can also give it to you. And they do it, thinking that they are teaching you humbleness and humility. Granted, these characteristics are both good virtues to have, but only in moderation.
Too much of it can cause you to suppress a little too much of yourself. When you’re too humble, you hide your own extraordinary personalities, talents, and gifts.
It can grow into insecurity and, in worst cases, self-loathing.
Low Self-Esteem is taught
Each one of us is born with confidence and a heart of gold. However, over time, your environment, circumstances, and sadly, the people in your life can slowly erode the natural confidence and goodness you were born with.
Once someone has hurt you so many times, you withdraw from others. You put up a barrier to protect yourself. And you turn cold and harden yourself to numb the feelings of rejection and pain.
Low Self-Esteem Causes:
The Slow Erosion of Self-Esteem
Before long, you regard others’ feelings and suffering with indifference. In other words, you don’t give a crap about anyone. You don’t care how they feel or what they think.
Sometimes, you even grow cold toward the people who love you because you lose the ability to trust them. You no longer have any respect for others, much less yourself.
Lastly, you arrive at that dark place where schadenfreude takes hold of your personality. And you secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing others, especially those you hate, suffer.
Low Self-Esteem Comes From Not Knowing Who You Are
Abusive family members and bullies aren’t the only ones who can squash your self-esteem. Media, movies, music, and politicians can also cause you to feel bad about yourself.
You see those with victim mentality, those running around in fear, and those who carry unnecessary guilt.
1. Fear.
Many politicians and news personalities try to cause fear in the masses. Bullies do the same. They instill fear in you by threatening physical harm or smear campaigns. All of them do it to keep you under their power.
Love Self-Esteem Causes:
2. Victimhood.
Media, politicians, and bullies also use the victim card to keep you down. Bullies also tell you that you can’t do anything to better your situation.
They try to convince you that you’re stuck with no way out. They also try to convince you that you’re their victim and always will be.
Politicians and media also try to convince certain ones that they’re victims and can’t rise above it. They also make them believe that others hate them and are blocking them from success.
If someone can convince you that you’re a victim and that there’s nothing you can do to change it, then you’re least likely even to want to try at anything. Right?
Again, they all do this to maintain power over them.
3. Guilt.
Media and politicians use guilt and gaslighting to control particular groups of people. Bullies also use guilt to control you.
Why? Because they all know that someone who feels guilty of something will do desperate things to prove that they’re not guilty. A guilt-stricken person will bend over backwards to make up for their (perceived) transgressions.
For example, several year ago, we saw people kneeling before certain groups to virtue signal and prove they weren’t evil. And while these people were kneeling, those they were kneeling before only laughed. It was quite pathetic.
Bullies, media, and politicians will convince their targets that they’re inherently evil. They’ll send the message that somehow, the targets are responsible for the evil in the world.
Low Self-Esteem Causes:
When you know who you are, you don’t need to prove it.
I want you to understand that you are not responsible for someone else’s unspeakable actions. ‘You see? Here’s the thing. If you know that you aren’t any of the things they call you, you don’t have to prove it.
You’ll refuse to demean yourself by bending over backwards and jumping through hoops to convince these idiots that you are not what they call you. Why? Because you know you don’t have to.
If you know who you are, what you stand for, and that you haven’t done anything wrong, you know. Your virtues are there whether others see them or not.
You’ll let your goodness and humanity speak for themselves. Let your truth do the talking for you. Stop being afraid of being labeled.
Stop being a victim.
If you think you’re a victim, stop this thinking. Realize that you have more power than you know. And if you want to change your life for the better, no one can stop you unless you let them.
If you’re carrying guilt that isn’t your burden to carry, stop it right now. Know that a fearful person who feels guilty is controllable. Don’t be that person!
Instead, be the person whose positivity, love, and good deeds speak for themselves. Remember that we’re all human beings deserving of dignity and love.
Remember, it all starts when we are children. Therefore, parents, here are ways to build your children’s self-esteem.
Low Self-Esteem CAuses:
Ways to Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Bullying can be devastating to a child’s self-esteem. And the damage can last a lifetime. It can harm their progress even into adulthood.
But understand that, if you aren’t abusive, you didn’t cause your child’s low self-esteem. It isn’t your fault. You and your child are innocent in this. However, you still must do some damage control.
Teach them kindness and empathy, yes. However, you also have work to do. You must teach the children confidence. Neither of you gets out of this without some degree of responsibility.
I realize that it isn’t fair that most of the confidence-building work must be done on the victim’s end. However, nothing in life is fair, and we can’t change that reality.
If your child is bullied, you still need to take action. You must do your part to ensure that the children’s confidence stays intact. Why? So that they can flourish.
Therefore, it’s up to parents to tip the confidence balance more in the kids’ favor.
Teaching children confidence means teaching them never to look to bullies for validity. Most of all, it means creating experiences for them that naturally balance out all the negative experiences they face at school.
To neglect this work would be devastating for our children! How do you build a child’s self-esteem?
1. Low Self-Esteem Causes:
Teach them never to seek validation from anyone who mistreats them.
Many victims mistakenly seek validation from the very people who crush it. This is a losing battle. Why? Because when you seek approval from bullies and their followers, they will let you down every time.
And it will only reinforce the low self-esteem they already have. Teach the kids to seek approval from the right people—those who love and care for them. Those people will affirm their validation, and their self-esteem will skyrocket.
2. Give them opportunities to make friends outside their toxic school environment.
For instance, your kid can join a martial arts class or a scout troop. Also, you can send them to summer camp. Maybe you can get them involved in a church group.
There are so many options available for victims of bullying to forge lasting friendships. And you will be amazed at just how it will help build their confidence and self-esteem.
Yes, kind words, encouragement, and verbal reinforcement of positivity are essential. However, giving kids the positive experiences that back up your well-meaning words will work doubly well.
Why? Because it will serve as confirmation that they really are good kids and give their self-esteem that extra boost.
So, give your little guy or little girl fun, exciting, and positive experiences that they can remember fondly! They will thank you for it later! I guarantee it!
3. Low Self-Esteem Causes:
When they tell you they’re being bullied, believe them.
One of the biggest causes of low self-esteem is when a child tells their parents they’re being bullied, and they don’t believe it. Or, they ask them to ignore it.
As a parent, you must be your child’s primary source of support. Moreover, you must teach them assertive and confident ways to respond to bullying attacks.
Ignoring them will not make bullies go away. However, a confident response will. And you’ll be surprised at how it boosts self-esteem.
This post was all about low self-esteem causes so that you will recognize them and take steps to guard your confidence.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It
2. Guilt by Association Fallacy: How It Brings About Bullying
3. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying
4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You
5. Confident Person Example: Who Are the Most Confident People?
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Aum Shanti
Thank you, Shanti!
A couple of thoughts. It is absolutely ridiculous because I went on to become successful as an adult and most people say I am attractive but sometimes I feel like I am still in middle school or high school! I will see a former bully or think about something and want to curl up in a ball. I try and try and somedays I am going about it but other days all these racing thoughts go through my head. I just will never be a truly confident person and that is why bullying fires me up and now I stand up for myself and have zero tolerance of it.
I also wanted to say. I think it was a user, Craig. He mentioned having a crush on a friend and it took him years to tell them. That really encouraged me to do the same. Though it was years ago and certainly people move on and it’s no reflection at all on current relationships, it gave me peace and I got a couple of positive compliments which made me realize I was viewed better than I thought back in the day. I highly suggest if anyone has similar experiences let them know it can help with self-esteem a lot!
Thank you, Kandi! And yes, when you run into one of your bullies years later, it can make you nervous inside. It did me the first few years after high school. However, I eventually sat myself down and asked myself when I was about 24 years old. “Who are these morons that they have any power over me?” and “Do I have to see them every day now, like I used to?” Answering those two questions helped me to realize that they could no longer hurt me and it helped me feel stronger and more untouchable the next time I saw one of my school bullies in town. I don’t know, I was just able to go on about my business and not even care anymore.
I think part of the problem is so many people think bullying is some sort of “rite of passage” or some accuse people have all of a sudden having gotten soft. No, bullying has always destroyed lives. We just now have a few decent human being realizing the effect of it. Schools and workplaces will claim they have policies in place but most aren’t worth the paper they are written on.
In terms of self-esteem, the hardest thing is to realize many bullies are being mean simply because they can and it speaks more about them and you. Even famous people often were bullied growing up. Cherie, that would be a great article to write about celebrities being tortured as well.
With self-esteem, I think this goes back to some other articles and comments posted on here. Consider who your true friends are. Who can you tell anything too, who has your back? There are no perfect people but recognize who has made a positive difference in your life. Those people obviously see something great in you.
I think we have to also take a hard look at ourselves even as we get older. Do we have positive friendships even today? Are we in a positive relationship or seeking out a positive relationship? I am talking being with people who support us, aren’t jealous, build us up and not break us down. So many times when we lack self-esteem we tolerate the behavior of frenemies, bad workplace situations and even constant poor behavior/treatment/lack of support from partners. We also are afraid to take chances whether it is starting a new hobby, new relationship, new anything because we lack confidence. Sometimes we even think we don’t measure up. We won’t take chances because we think that hobby, job, activity, relationship, friendship is “out of our league.” We have to change our thinking. And we also need to realize to have friends, we need to be a friend and make time for others and encourage them. It’s a two way street that sometimes I am not great at. I get busy and don’t always make time for friends and other people who are important to me.
That’s true, Bradley. All that you say is very true. And another thing I want to add is that once you reach a certain age, you really don’t give a damn what people think. The weight of their opinions depends on how important they are to you. You realize who and what is truly important in life (family, your closest and most trusted friends, your home, etc.) and that everything and everyone else is irrelevant.