Have you ever heard of that bullied vibe that victims of bullying give off that attracts more bullies and other human predators? Here’s everything that you need to know about it.
After bullies have targeted them for so long, some victims will give off certain micro-expressions of victimhood. And they will attract new bullies once the old ones leave their lives.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn about that bullied vibe, what it is, and how you can avoid giving it off.
Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to exude confidence instead of low self-esteem once you leave a bullying environment. Moreover, you won’t have any trouble with bullies.
This post is all about that bullied vibe, so that you know what it is and how to keep history from repeating itself.
That Bullied Vibe
What is it? It’s low energy that comes from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and lack of self-belief. For instance, a person who gives off these kinds of vibes may exhibit specific non-verbal cues that scream, “Weak! Submissive! Vulnerable!”.
These cues include lack of eye contact, slouching, looking down, and appearing nervous. They can also include people-pleasing, neediness, approval-seeking, and desperation for friends or dating partners.
For instance, your bullies have bullied you for years. Moreover, they’ve managed to turn everyone against you, and your friends only side with your bullies.
Losing friends has become the norm for you. And because you suffer deprivation of human friendships, you’ve lost your sense of belonging.
Because the bullying has crushed your self-esteem, you begin slouching when you stand and avoid eye contact with people. You also feel nervous in social situations, and it shows!
After you’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, you become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of connection. So, you become needy. You begin exhibiting approval-seeking behaviors to try to win friends. Only the outcome is the opposite. You only attract more bullying.
In doing all this, you signal to everyone around you that you are a victim. In other words, you give off that bullied vibe.
That Bullied Vibe:
Neediness always invites abuse.
Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down. They leave you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate!
Realize that evil always attaches itself to the weak and most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away.
Therefore, if you give off even the tiniest scent of weakness, you will repel those who are emotionally healthy. In contrast, you will attract only the lowlifes who mean to use and abuse you.
Predators love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When bullies make you powerless, you will attract fake friends.
And they’ll only use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will pretend to be friends so that they can get close enough to you to hurt you.
They may use you for money or material things. Or they may use you for social benefits. Also, they may feign friendship to dominate you.
Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit; they’re here for theirs.
Bullies have a refined ability to sense weakness.
In fact, they have an internal radar for it. They can see vulnerability as plain as day. In other words, they can tell if you’re confident in your ability to defend yourself. And they know whether they can wield power over someone.
People who have been abused often have learned helplessness. Bullies instantly pick up on this. Why? Because they are always on the hunt for easy prey. And a person who has the power to make their lives unpleasant is not easy prey.
It’s why they only target certain people and not others. Bullies are less likely to target a confident person than they are to select someone who isn’t confident.
That Bullied Vibe:
How and When does it start?
Sometimes, it starts somewhere during early childhood. Maybe your initial self-value and self-love were compromised by abuse. Perhaps you had parents who were overly aggressive with discipline.
It could be that you had older siblings who terrorized you. Maybe they made you believe that your feelings didn’t count.
Or you were born different. Maybe you have autism, and people have treated you like a disease.
Whatever the case may be, it broke your spirit. They conditioned you, and subconsciously, you started believing that you were defective – that you were inferior to others.
However, if nothing else, understand this. All false beliefs are created through traumatic experiences. They also stem from societal conditioning.
And, as time passes, those beliefs fester until they begin attracting experiences of bullying. This is why you must learn to recognize the connection between bullying and the unconscious beliefs you adopted earlier in your life.
The longer you don’t, the more bullying experiences you will have, and the more they will reinforce those false beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Moreover, the more victimized you will feel.
As a result, you will become more reclusive, more avoidant, and more unsure of yourself and others.
Never let them break your spirit!
Your spirit breaks the moment you accept other people’s definition of you. When you take your bullies’ judgements as truth, they win.
I know this is always easy to do. When you’re a small child, you can’t see the hidden motives of abusers. Therefore, when your frustrated mother lashes out at you, or your drug-addicted father abuses you, or an insecure older sibling teases you, their words penetrate your spirit.
As a result, they become a part of your inner dialogue. Why? Because the people who force-feed you this garbage are supposed to love you. Right?
“They’re probably saying these things for my own good. They know what’s best for me. So, I must have screwed up somewhere. I must have done something to cause these people so much frustration.”
That Bullied Vibe:
Toxic Beliefs don’t just HAPPEN. Others plant them in your mind.
And there you have it. That’s what your bullies sense. They sense your belief that you are defective and that you are not good enough.
And the sad thing is that these beliefs are subconscious. Therefore, they’re more difficult to tackle. If you’re a victim, oftentimes, you become frustrated because you don’t understand why history keeps repeating itself.
You’re at a loss as to why the same shit has happened to you over and over again throughout your entire life.
But here’s what is happening here.
You have very low self-esteem. And, because of this, you wear an invisible “kick-me sign”. Others may not see it, but they can sense it.
They can tell when you have a deeply buried fear of rejection. Also, you may be co-dependent. You likely don’t have any opinions, ideas, or principles of your own. Therefore, you constantly look to others for advice.
And this probably gets on people’s nerves, so you drive good people away. Others may lash out at you.
However, you must realize that these are only self-fulfilling prophesies.
How to Get Rid of That bullied Vibe and avoid attracting more bullies.
The trick is to dig deep down inside of yourself. Recall the memories of judgment that people instilled in you early in life. Also, remember that they conditioned you to think the thoughts that bring bullying about.
Then, re-frame those judgements as wrong. Moreover, start replacing your self-judgements with compassion and love for yourself. Do this with the love you would feel for a wounded child.
And most importantly, be patient because the change won’t happen overnight. Life will do everything it can to reinforce the negatives each day. So, you will need to do a lot of work to go against it.
When self-diminishing thoughts try to creep in, you must catch them and reverse them. You must replace them with thoughts of self-love.
You will need patience.
Again, it will be a slow process. However, if you remain focused and continue the work, you will eventually repair the damage your abusers did to your spirit. And the curse will finally be broken.
And here’s another solution. If your bullies are still in your life, cut them out of it. Also, find your purpose. Set goals and achieve them. Create your own power.
Your bullies may still try to bully you. But they will back down quicker if you defend yourself and carry yourself with confidence. You don’t have to be tall, muscular, or good-looking. Just use what you have.
What are your talents and gifts? What are your superpowers? And what are your goals and dreams? We all have them, and they come in many forms. Get to know yourself. Accept yourself, love yourself, and be proud of who you are.
This post was all about that bullied vibe so that you can take steps to change your mindset and undo any self-defeating beliefs that took root from past bullying and abuse.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses
2. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned
3. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning
4. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well
🙏🌹
Aum Shanti
Thank you, Shanti!
Great post Cherie! For years, I thought I had ‘Victim’ stamped across my forehead and it took many years for me to remove it.
Thank you, Michael! It always amazed me how I, too, seemed to attract more and more bullies. And when it dawned on me why, I was able to make the changes needed to remove that aura. I haven’t been bullied in years now. Some people from my past may try, but they end up with stupid looks on their faces when I put my hand up, refuse to play their games, and walk away.
A few thoughts here. I really think any of us who are parents, witness bullying, etc really have to be willing to have the back of bullying victims and/or doing what you are doing Cherie and teaching ways to empower yourself. For instance, let’s say that a child when he or she was in the first grade was really overweight. There is sadly a high probability they started getting bullied early on. And I have seen people that perhaps even lost all their weight (And people have a right to weigh what they want and in many cases it is a health issue not because of overeating) that had low self-esteem forever.
I think it is also vital to teach people as early as possible to stand up for yourself even in physical situations. Don’t ever be the aggressor but whether verbal or physical learn how to engage back. And for any parents out there, it is like this. If your kid is getting tortured and a school, coach, whomever won’t do anything about it, let your kids know YOU have their back. It is like this. My kids know if someone puts their hands on them first and they have to defend themselves even if let’s say they are risking Suspension from school or getting booted off of a ball team, do what they have to do within reason.
I totally agree, Bradley. Targets must also stand up to bullying, and parents must teach them to stand up to bullies. Also, I’d much rather take a three or five-day suspension than spend years being bullied by everyone! If you defend yourself and put a beating on a bully and STOP them from bullying you, you save yourself years of torment. In my opinion, that’s worth a suspension.
Yes! And those are the things so many people won’t tell you including many parents, teachers, etc. There is admittingly a risk of a Suspension but as you said, give me a 3-5 Day Suspension and a relatively peaceful life after that vs years of torment.
Exactly!
I will tell you one issue that particularly can plaque girls. So many times we get caught up in gender stereotypes and society. The truth is females tend to (and maybe this is a stereotype too so I will apologize if anyone disagrees) hold grudges longer. I have heard many female bosses state they have less drama with most male employees.
Anyway as far as standing up to bullies, so many people seem to think it isn’t “lady like” to retaliate. In other words if you get cussed out and cuss them right back, society says a “lady doesn’t cuss.” And society seems to treat all females as delicate creatures. There are plenty of women who are not and yes some women can sometimes even be as strong or stronger than some men. But I am even talking about female vs female and the “lady like thing.” A bully will jump on that because it means they think the shy non-aggressive girl is an easy target.
Funny thing and if there are any dudes reading this too that perceive themselves as non-aggressive (so I am talking to everyone), you may surprise yourself and what you can physically do whether it is defending yourself against bullies, playfully roughhousing, sports, or verbally standing your ground. It doesn’t mean you have to change who you are at all but just realize you are capable
Exactly, Kandi. Women have been brainwashed to think that it isn’t ladylike to respond to bullies with the same stuff the bullies hurled at them. Well, it isn’t ladylike getting your teeth kicked in either.