Negative Self-Beliefs: 5 Ways They Effect Victims of Bullying

June 24, 2025June 18, 20257 Comments

‘Want to know about negative self-beliefs and all the ways they can effect you if you’re a victim of bullying? Here are all the details you need to know.

When you suffer bullying, it can have ways of playing with your mind. You may initially be a confident person with strong self-beliefs. However, once bullies select you for abuse, they can rip your confidence to shreds. And, before you know it, you’ll begin to doubt your worth and adopt negative self beliefs that match what your bullies think of you.

And, it can destroy your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about negative self-beliefs and ways they effect you so that you can recognize them and take steps to preserve your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will want to fight to keep your confidence and other things that truly matter.

This post is all about negative self-beliefs so that you can hold on to your self-worth and continue to value yourself even when others don’t.

Negative self-beliefs

Bullies have ways of programming you and turning you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. As a result, it can change the entire trajectory of your life. Negative self-beliefs are what Zig Zigler calls, “stinkin’ thinkin.'”

And they can turn your life upside down.

However, there are ways that you can counter this and change those negative beliefs to positive. All you have to do is catch those bad thoughts when they cross your mind. Then, counter them.

It may feel strange at first. But, if you keep practicing, it will soon become like second nature.

Here are a few negative thoughts you can counter.

Anytime you think, ” I’m not good enough,” immediately counter it with, “I AM good enough. I matter and I have value. My bullies’ opinions do not define me.”

Here are other examples you can counter.

Negative belief:

“Nobody will ever love me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Yes they will. People already DO love me. My bullies are only saying these things to tear down my self-esteem.”

Negative belief:

“Nothing good can ever happen to me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Good things CAN happen to me and they will. Things may not look so rosy now. But things always get better sooner or later.”

Negative belief:

”It sucks to be me!”

Positive belief that counters it:

“It’s GREAT to be me and I love being me. Others may not like me. In fact, they may hate me. But that says more about them then it does about me. So, who are they to decide who I am?”

Again, you must counter everything your bullies tell you. Besides, what do you care what they think? They don’t matter and they shouldn’t even be an afterthought.

Why counter negative self-beliefs when people bully you?

Because bullying is a form of brainwashing.

When you suffer bullying for long enough, you become fearful and unconsciously hold yourself back. If bullies continue to tell you that you aren’t good enough, you’ll soon believe it too if you don’t stand up for yourself.

In other words, if your bullies succeed in drumming this crap into your head, it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the last thing you want to happen!

Therefore, counter every verbal attack!

Because bullying is so repetitive.

Bullies are notorious for repeating their attacks. And they do this deliberately to program you to believe them.

This is especially evil because it causes you to think that you’re aren’t worthy of love and friendship. And it makes you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy and prosperous.

Also, it instills fear. It is because of this fear that you stop taking risks. You no longer trust yourself to make good decisions.

Because you don’t think that you’re good enough, you settle for far less than you deserve. And, before long, you develop the mindset that good fortune only happens to anyone who isn’t you.

Bullies can also cause you to lose faith in humanity. You begin to think that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others.

As a result, this attitude only causes you to lose out on good friendships and relationships. And it only re-enforces your loneliness and isolation.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Bullies can cause damage that takes years to repair.

This is what bullying does to you if you allow. It reprograms your mind and smashes your self-esteem to pieces. And it can sometimes take years to put your mental health back together again.

It causes you to do things that you usually wouldn’t do. You select friends you really don’t want to be friends with.

Moreover, you date partners you aren’t even remotely attracted to all because you believe you can’t do any better. But you continue dating these losers just to keep from being alone.

As long as there’s a warm body around, it’s good enough. However, by doing this, you’re not only being unfair to yourself but to the people you select.

You deserve to be with those you want to be with. Also, you deserve to be with those who bring positivity to your life.

And the dating partners you’re settling for? They also deserve to be with people who choose to be with them, not because they’re the only option.

Bullies may accuse you of being selfish when you take care of yourself.

Self-care is never selfish. However, bullies will accuse you of being selfish when you’re only taking care of yourself.

Therefore, you stop practicing self-care and neglect yourself just to satisfy a few ignorant bullies. However, here’s what you need to know right now.

Sometimes, you must permit yourself to be a little bit selfish. In fact, a degree of selfishness is okay. At times, it’s crucial! Therefore, don’t be ashamed of putting yourself first.

Never allow anyone to shame you into believing that anything you do for yourself is wrong. Never put yourself on the back burner to appease toxic people.

Selflessness is good, don’t get me wrong. However, it’s unhealthy if putting others first is done at your expense.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

It’s okay to say “no.”

When you’re afraid to say “no” because you fear retaliation, that’s when you know you need to change your belief system. You deserve to be valued. Therefore, never allow anyone to forbid you to set boundaries.

Realize that you don’t have to allow others to shit all over you! If your life is heading the wrong direction because bullies have brainwashed you, you can change it.

However, it takes getting real with yourself. It requires that you admit to yourself that you’ve been duped. And it takes getting angry at yourself for allowing bullies to mind-f*ck you for all these years.

So, get angry and say, “no more!” You, as much as anyone else, deserve to live happy and in peace.

Changing Destructive thoughts isn’t easy.

Getting rid of destructive thoughts and habits is the hardest thing you’ll never do. In fact, if you’ve had the same thought patterns for several years, your mind will do its best to resist you.

But you can do it! However, It takes a lot of grunt-work. And, most of all, it takes patience. Positive change doesn’t happen overnight.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Here are ways you can alter negative self-beliefs.

You must get hungry! And you must hunger for any knowledge that will help you change your inside. Only then will you begin to see a positive difference in your outside!

Read personal development books.

Therefore, take your first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books that you can get your hands on. Then put everything you learn to practice.

Why? Because, again, psychological reprogramming is hard as hell!

I can’t stress this enough! Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It will take you several years to notice a significant difference in your thought patterns and attitude.

Therefore, you will need to read a lot of personal development books. But be assured that it will pay off in a big way!

And things will be much different! You must realize that doing the work to bring positive changes in your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Don’t let your bullies win by giving them carte blanche to brainwash you with their bullshit. Do what you must do to push back against their rhetoric!

value yourself

Always, value yourself, even when others don’t. Why? Because it will work wonders for your self-esteem. Keep fighting even when it seems you’re losing the battle.

Oftentimes, when things look the bleakest, your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Therefore, continue to love yourself and put yourself first. Reach out to only those who reciprocate the love you give.

Moreover, turn a deaf ear to the harmful talk bullies try to fill your head with. Better yet, send those toxic parasites packing! Because you don’t need them in your life! I promise you!

Do not be afraid to accept outside help. If you get counseling or take courses like Assertiveness Training, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You must do what you need to improve your thought patterns.

In closing:

Negative self-beliefs only turn your life upside down. What we think, we become. Therefore, always counter destructive thinking with positive thinking. If you need extra help, read personal development books, get counseling, or take an assertiveness training course.

Do these things and I guarantee that you’ll get rid of low self-esteem. And you’ll see amazing results in your thinking!

This post is all about negative Self-beliefs and how they can negatively impact your life so that you can catch them and turn them around before they do any lasting damage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

Seeking Validation: 9 Ways it Only Exacerbates Bullying

May 3, 2025April 29, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know about seeking validation and why it only worsens bullying. Here are all the details you need to know.

Sadly, many targets of bullying seek validation from others. Often, the people they seek it from are mostly those who could absolutely care less about them. Even worse, those they seek approval from are bullies – people who have absolutely zero respect for them.

It’s pretty counterproductive. Don’t you think?

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about seeking validation and why you shouldn’t do it.

Once you learn all about this essential information, you’ll want to avoid such behavior and begin treating yourself with respect.

This post is all about seeking validation, how you can change this behavior, and why you should change it.

Seeking Validation

Most victims of bullying are lonely and others reject them all the time. Therefore, they tend to crawl behind people. Even worse, they crawl behind those who don’t give a damn about them.

Why? Because they have such low self-esteem that they’re willing to trade their pride and self-respect for just a tiny morsel of acceptance.

In other words, they simp for approval! Ewww!

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
Who are they that I must impress?
Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
Who are they that I have to lie?
Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?
Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry.

And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing.

Therefore, never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation from another person, you short change yourself. Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life.

Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

Seeking Validation:

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. Therefore, their opinions need not apply.

If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules on you, you have a right to tell that person to go to hell. In other words, if the person isn’t a parent or well-meaning teacher or supervisor, tell them to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

You have an obligation to yourself not to give them your power. And that’s exactly what you’re giving them when you seek approval from them.

You give them control over your life! That’s something they have no right to. Your power is yours and yours alone.

But once you take back your power by refusing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring what people think and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy?

Too many victims think that sucking up will win them Validation.

Too many targets are bullied for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies.

However, it only does the opposite. It only brings them more bullying and ridicule. It attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

Seeking Validation:

What else happens when you seek Validation?

1. You lose your freedom and autonomy.

You stop being yourself and doing what you want to do. Why? Because you become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

In a nutshell, you give away your personal power

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations.

Why? Because you replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others.

And there’s no guarantee that they’ll approval of you. You can’t control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people.

You are the only person in the entire world that you can control. This is why it’s important that you keep your focus on you. You are your only guarantee.

At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative.

In that, you only become a carbon copy of someone else. You imitate their style, and their way of thinking and doing things.

Moreover, when you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

4. Seeking Validation:

You copy others.

In other words, you give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular.

You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do. Also, you do things how they want you to do them. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. Moreover, not everyone will want the best for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly.

When you seek validation and approval, you only look for others’ permission. This will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned. Even worse, it’ll also erode your self-esteem.

Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose tiny pieces of yourself until you completely forget who you are.

So, how does approval seeking exacerbate bullying? It does so in 5 ways.

5. IT reduces your value.

People are more likely to bully you if they don’t think you have much value. Approval seeking only reduces your value in the eyes of everyone else.

Why? Because it makes you look desperate. When you seek approval, you’ll do self-demeaning things out of desperation.

You’ll crawl behind people who don’t value you. You’ll make yourself too available. And you’ll people-please and put up with crappy treatment.

Therefore, you’ll take away from your own value as a human being.

6. Seeking Validation:

You end up looking pathetic.

Approval seeking behavior isn’t a good look on anyone. When you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people, you don’t attract them. You only repulse and repel them.

7. People Lose respect For you.

It’s hard to have respect for anyone who has to beg for acceptance. It’s just a part of human nature. No one respects anyone who begs.

However, when you finally come to a place where you don’t care either way, people will naturally gravitate toward you.

8. You attract users and abusers

People who seek validation and approval are more vulnerable to bullying. In fact, if you have low self-esteem and are constantly looking for validation, you will attract human predators.

Why? Because you will be more likely to do anything for approval. Therefore, you’ll be easy to use and abuse.

Now, do you see why looking for validation is such a no no?

9. Seeking Validation:

Others won’t like you, they’ll only pity you.

There’s a difference between pity and empathy. Empathy is more positive. It’s when you feel the person’s pain and wish you could help them.

On the other hand, there’s a degree of arrogance behind pity. When you pity someone, you don’t care about the other person’s pain and have no desire to help them. You’re just glad as hell that you aren’t in their situation.

In fact, you’re probably glad that you aren’t them. Period! And you want to distance yourself from the person and whatever they’re dealing with.

It’s better to be hated than pitied. Why? Because there’s still a degree of dignity in being hated.

So, how do you break this nasty habit?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself.

This means accepting all parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Count all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of.

Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

3. Seeking Validation:

Ditch and Switch.

Walk away from negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters and naysayers.

Replace them with people who love you and who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around.

Ditch those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes. And switch to happy people who take responsibility for their lives.

No one wants a copy. They want an original!

You might get a lot of push-back at first. Many people become threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life. Moreover, they may give you tons of grief for it.

However, they only do it because they were benefiting from the old you. There were advantages that came with the you who sought approval. And they don’t want to lose the benefits.

We live in a world full of copies. In other words, most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that they lash out at you.

Therefore, embrace the push-back. Keep doing what’s right for you and to hell with what others think!

Only you know what’s right for you. No one else does! So, stop seeking validation. Let go of the need for approval.

I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

This post was all about seeking validation so that you can recognize the behavior in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

2. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

3. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps