how to stop a bully at work

How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

‘Want to know how to stop a bully? Here are the mind hacks you need to know about.

how to stop a bully

If you don’t learn the tricks to stop them in their tracks, bullies will continue to steamroll you until you have no self-esteem left.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop a bully by using clever mind hacks almost no one thinks about.

Once you learn all about these mental tips and tricks, you will be better able to more confidently counter bullies each time they attack.

This post is all about how to stop a bully so that you can spare your self-esteem and dignity from being raked over the coals.

How to Stop a Bully

To stop a bully from bullying you doesn’t only take physical strength. It takes a lot of mental power as well. Remember that bullies are mostly bluff.

To call their bluff, you must know what to expect and be ready for it. Therefore, before we get into the hacks, let’s first talk about the reactions you should expect from your bully and where it comes from.

7 Things That Happen When You Call a Bully’s Bluff

When you finally stand up to a bully and call out their abuse, these are the reactions you should expect.

1. They’ll try to avoid the subject.

They’ll change the subject to an irrelevant topic. Moreover, they’ll do it while appearing to be busy doing a task. Females are notorious for this trick.

2. They’ll become irate and go on a tirade.

They may even yell and curse at you. They may turn it back on you and accuse you of having paranoia. Moreover, they may call you mentally unstable, a crybaby, or any other label that discredits you.

However, realize that anyone who becomes this defensive only looks desperate and afraid. Know that this is just another dead giveaway.

Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted. They will get loud. They will scream, yell, and pound their fists, curse, and swear when they fear exposure.

However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate!

3. How to Stop a Bully:

They will lay guilt trips on you.

For instance, if a fake friend is stabbing you in the back and you call them out on it, you’re likely to hear the following.

“Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe XYZ”

“If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”

Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty. Or they’re trying to intimidate you into silence.

If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, then you can bet that they’re guilty. Moreover, if enough people tell you that the person is saying things behind your back, they’re likely telling the truth.

4. They will escalate the harassment.

Bullies do this to either punish you or intimidate you and shut you down. Again, understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed and facing accountability.

Moreover, they fear losing face. So, your bully will stop at nothing to silence you.

5. They will justify themselves.

  • “If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
  • “If you weren’t so ditzy, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
  • “You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
  • “If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
  • “You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”

Again, don’t believe a word of it! Continue calling them out. You must protect yourself by speaking just as loud and with just as much conviction as the bully.

Therefore, make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!

6. How to Stop a Bully:

The bully will slander you.

Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Therefore, they spread rumors and lies to discredit you.

Also, they do it to distract others from their appalling behavior by making you look bad. ‘You see?If the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.

  • The bully can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
  • They can discredit you.
  • The bully can make themselves look like the victim and gain sympathy from other people.
  • They can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
  • The bully gets the green light to bully you again later.
  • They get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
  • The bully gets the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.

Like the old quote goes, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

Slander is designed to protect bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto you. People have used this tactic since the beginning of time!

So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior!

7. They’ll stop talking to you and begin talking about you.

If you have a bully who’s a fake friend and you bust them, they’ll stop talking to you. However, once they quit talking to you, they’ll talk about you to justify themselves to others.

Here is what they’ll likely tell them.

  • “She’s unstable.”
  • “He’s just mad because I called him out!”
  • “She’s so fake.”
  • “She’s too sensitive.”
  • “She doesn’t want to admit when she’s wrong.”
  • “I was just trying to help them.”
  • “She’s just jealous of me because… ”

Again, this person is exposing themselves through their behavior. Therefore, see this as a giveaway and have no more to do with them.

How to Stop a Bully:

Here are all the hacks you can use.

1. See your bullies’ most vicious attacks as a sign of fear and desperation.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? When someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you. It could be something you said, did, or conveyed. In fact, it may be your very presence that bothers the person.

Whatever the case may be, there’s something about you that’s motivating the attacks. However, realize this.

It’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about is the possibility of your taking your power back from them. The bully is also afraid of you becoming independent of their opinions of you.

Most bullies go into panic mode when you stand up to them. Moreover, they really lose it when you stand up to them confidently.

This is because your bullies are scared to death that they’re losing power over you. Any time you call a bully’s bluff, you automatically put them in the weaker position.

Bullies know this and it drives them batty!

2. How to Stop a Bully:

Maintain a healthy and positive sense of self.

Don’t lose sight of your worth. Find ways to maintain your confidence. And, how you do this is to know what motivates your bully to attack you.

Knowing why your bullies do what they do is the best way to preserve a healthy self-esteem when you’re under siege.

3. Refuse to accept your bullies’ definition of you.

And this goes no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

To accept someone else’s definition of you, you must first discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

Also, little by little, you lose the awareness of your emotions each time you allow them to do it. Then, you eventually grow numb.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It also takes mind power.

Therefore, never let anyone else define you. Stop caring what people think.

Bullies may think they know you and they may attempt to define who you are. But only you know the definition of who you are.

By trying to tell you who you are, your bullies attempt to force you to replace your definition of yourself with theirs. Moreover, they try to play God.

So, stop allowing your bullies fool you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

4. How to Stop a Bully:

Stand up to bullies, even if you’re afraid to.

When a bully tries to tell you what you are, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are.” Then, you can walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to them.

Moreover, if the bully challenges you to a fist fight, don’t back down. There’s nothing wrong with hitting back if someone strikes you first.

Even if someone doesn’t hit you and gets in your face, you must assume that they’re getting ready to physically attack you. In this situation, offense is the best defense.

Knock the ever-loving hell out of them.

5. Have a clear vision of your value as a human being.

Know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

This means having a crystal-clear understanding of who you are. Moreover, it means know what you will and will not put up with.

6. Keep company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life.

Only associate with people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities. Keep company with those who know the good you bring to this world.

On the other hand, refuse to have anything to do with those who are toxic. Any time someone makes you feel bad, walk away and stay away.

It’s okay to be selective in who you let into your life. This is how you protect your mental health from unsavory people.

7. How to Stop a Bully:

Hold onto your principles and convictions.

Hold onto your standards. Moreover, stand up for your beliefs, and convictions. Be true to yourself and follow your heart. And do it boldly and confidently.

Don’t be afraid to think critically. In short, have the courage to be different.

This is how you protect your mind from bullies. Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

8. Trust your gut.

Listen to your gut feeling because it will always tell you the truth. Therefore, if something doesn’t feel good, your gut will tell you.

Remember that the sensations of the body never lie. And when something feels off about a person, move away from them.

This is one of the ways you protect yourself from bullies.

9. Set and enforce your boundaries.

This goes back to number four. Set your boundaries. Then, enforce those boundaries if a bully ever crosses them.

If a bully verbally attacks you, don’t ignore it. Counter that attack with a good burn so that the bully thinks twice before messing with you again.

And if they physically attack you, haul off and knock them on their ass.

However, staying strong physically is only part of the battle. Maintaining a strong mind is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Put them together and you’ll be able to stop a bully from ever bullying you again.

This post is all about how to stop a bully and all the ways to do it so that you can protect your self-esteem and live in peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

the impacts of bullying at work

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

the impacts of bullying

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

 And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

  • That you take things wrong.
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • That you had it coming.
  • That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself.  You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire,  but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You creative a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

 Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You