‘Want to know why enemies are better than frenemies? Here are the reasons that a fake friend is worse than an enemy.
With clear-cut enemies, you know exactly where you stand. Therefore, you know to avoid them. Not so with frenemies. These people can put on a perfect act and fool you into thinking that they’re for you when they really aren’t.
In this post, you will learn why enemies are better than frenemies. Also, you will learn the signs of a frenemy so that you can spot them and protect yourself against them.
Once you learn all this pertinent information, you will be able to spot fake friends and avoid them before they have a chance to do real damage.
This post is all about frenemies so that you can spot them and protect yourself from being harmed by them.
Enemies are better than frenemies
Every single one of us has had that one “friend” or that handful of “friends,” if that’s what you prefer to call them. They seem to really like you and want to be around you all the time.
Moreover, they cozy up to you very quickly (too quickly) because you seemingly mesmerize them. They bombard you with attention and lay the flattery on super-thick.
They’ll butter you up with compliments, smile at you, and pat you on the back. These people make you feel so good about yourself.
In short, they’ll attach themselves to you like a barnacle, wanting so badly to be a part of your life.
Therefore, if you’re being bullied and are feeling insecure, this can be such a welcome change!
You’re bullied, lonely, rejected, and this seems to be just the thing you’ve been waiting for. It gives you that much-needed shot of dopamine you’ve been craving for so long!
You begin to feel great about yourself and think that maybe, the bullying might be coming to an end. However, you notice subtle signs in these so-called friends that don’t feel so good.
Occasionally, you may notice those split-second flashes of disdain on their faces. You may see out of the corner of your eye, a sneer here, an evil, piercing glance there.
Although your gut begins to sound off, telling you that something is off, you only think.
“Oh, well, maybe they’re having a rough day.”
“Maybe someone made them angry before they came to visit.”
“Maybe they’re just in a bad mood.”
Enemies are better than frenemies:
1. you’ll only choose people who don’t deserve to be in your life.
Wanting to believe the very best of the person(s), you mentally explain away the signs that tell you that something just isn’t right. Then, when it happens again, you begin to ask yourself,
“Was it something I said or something I did accidentally to offend this person?”
Next, your new buddy or buddies seem cold toward you. They begin to alternate hot and cold. As a result, they leave you bewildered as to the causation.
All the while your sixth sense is telling you to put some distance yourself and these people and to do it fast! However, you don’t because this person is supposed to be a friend.
You love them and don’t want to seem like a heel or that you don’t appreciate their friendship. Also, the bullies have suddenly disappeared, and you want to keep it that way.
You dread the possibility of going back to square one. Eating your lunch alone and walking alone in the halls are unthinkable. Moreover, having bullies target you again, is definitely something you dread going back to.
Therefore, you continue to tolerate unacceptable behavior. Why? Because, deep down, you don’t think that you can find better people to be pals with.
You’ve been bullied and shamed for so long. Moreover, you have actually forgotten what a true friend is and what it’s like to have one.
When you finally work up the nerve to ask them about their behavior, they either lie about it, downplay it. They may tell you that you’re imagining things or being too sensitive.
Enemies are better than frenemies:
2. You’ll only make yourself a bigger target by tolerating disrespect.
However, as time goes by, those tiny micro-expressions become more noticeable. Also, the split-second glares, and subtle, back-handed compliments and coldness become more frequent!
Now, your Spidey-senses are screaming! These people are now giving you the silent treatment, and you don’t know why.
Suddenly, BAM! It happens! They lash out at you for reasons that are so trivial, or worse, reasons which seem to be made up! Moreover, you know you should tell them to take a hike, but you only blame yourself.
You may even give misplaced apologies. As a result, you look even more pathetic to bystanders and witnesses! Even worse, now, you look like an even bigger target to bullies!
Remember. The gradual but growing hot/cold, waxing and waning in their behavior only snowballs. Moreover, it does so until it turn into a terrible lashing of venom that leaves you both shocked and hurt.
3. fake friends will use the push/Pull method to keep you coming back for more.
Understand that we call this hot/cold, nice/nasty cycle “The Push/Pull Method.”
This push and pull technique is exactly how it sounds. The frenemy pulls you in, pushes you away, then pulls you in again.
This back and forth cycle is specifically designed to hook you into the friendship and throw you off your game! Therefore, you must realize that the person was more than likely never your friend!
4. Enemies are Better Than Frenemies:
They will make you the object of their jealousy.
You may ask yourself why? Moreover, you’ll wonder:
“If this person was never my friend and never liked me to begin with, why then did they exert such much effort to get close to me?”
“Why did this person latch on to me in the first place?”
The reason is that your frenemies were intensely jealous of you. They may have coveted something you possessed and wanted a way to punish you for having it.
Moreover, they may have coveted your confidence and wanted to bring you down a few notches. They were itching to put you in your place… to cut you down to size!
Therefore, rather than a direct, frontal assault, they preferred to out-flank you by carefully cozying up to you. Why? To trick you into dropping your defenses and handing over your trust!
5. they’ll hang around you only to get an ego-boost.
Another reason could be that the frenemy somehow gets an ego-boost from being “friends” with you and the thought of being seen with you!
Understand that this closeness is a way to hook you into the friendship. Why? So that they can gather intimate, personal details about your life and personality.
Then, they can suss out any weaknesses or less-than-desirable qualities you have. Fake-friends are like police detectives who attempt to build a case against you.
And once they gather the intel they need, they exploit this information. Moreover, they’ll use it as a weapon to harm you. They may use it to ruin your reputation and sabotage your personal relationships and associations.
Consequently, when you finally put your foot down and end the friendship, they’ll paint you as the mean, mentally-unbalanced person. Therefore, they’ll trumpet any dirt collected on you to anyone who will listen to them.
I want you to understand that this is how frenemies operate. People such as these are very sneaky, meticulous, and worst of all, patient!
In Conclusion:
Let’s do a recap of the points we’ve just discussed.
It is much better to have full-blown enemies than frenemies because, with an enemy, you always know where you stand.
Therefore, you can more easily avoid contact. On the other hand, frenemies (or fake friends) have ways of reeling you in and keeping you dependent on their approval and acceptance.
Moreover, if you are a victim of bullying, the relationship is much harder to get out of because you’ll fear going back to being friendless.
But wouldn’t you rather be to yourself than to keep company with people who only wish to bring you down? I know I would!
Remember that a smiling face does not a friend make. Not everyone who pats you on the back has your best interests at heart.
There are red flags you can look for.
Red Flag 1.
Excessive speed in friendship progression. Therefore, any time someone is so quick to call you a friend, be alert!
Red Flag 2.
Alternating hot and cold (flip-flopping). When someone runs hot and cold toward you, it’s a bad sign.
Red Flag 3.
Micro-flashes of contempt and hostility in their body language.
In these scenarios, the best you can do is to step back and maintain plenty of distance between you and the person in question. Only then is it possible to observe them and figure out their true motivations and intentions!
Do what you must to protect yourself.
This post was all about why enemies are better than frenemies and what you can do to protect yourself from people who pose as friends.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You
2. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: 6 Must-Know Reasons
3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them
4. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples
5. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It