‘Want to know how to spot fake friends and remove any confusion of whether the friendship is real? Here are 5 tried and true ways to trick them into exposing themselves.
Do you have friends who seem to run hot and cold on you? Do they leave you confused as to whether or not their friendship is real?
In this post, you will learn how to spot fake friends by using these easy methods to make them come clean. And the best part is, they won’t even realize they’ve outed themselves until it’s too late.
Once you learn these simple tactics, you will remove any confusion and see these snakes exactly for who they are. Then you will know to ditch these people and move on with your life.
This post is all about how to spot fake friends, get rid of them once and for all, and restore not only your peace, but also your dignity and self-respect.
How to spot fake friends
At some point in our lives, we’ve all put up with fake friends who cunningly tried to hold us back. These are people who very stealthily undermined our confidence and disrupted your peace.
However, fake friends can be hard to spot if you aren’t paying attention. On the outside, they can look like they’re really in your corner when they’re really only in your business. They may seem like they want you to win when, deep down inside, they hope you crash and burn.
For instance, narcissists are masters at duping unsuspecting people into befriending them, having a relationship with them, and even marrying them.
If you’re a victim or target of bullying, then you are all the more susceptible to being taken in by these social chameleons.
Why? Because chances are that bullies have defamed you so severely that friends have turned their backs on you and making new friends has become difficult, if not impossible.
And now, the isolation you feel is so intense that you’ll befriend anyone who smiles at you. In other words, you’re vulnerable.
Know that this is a recipe for disaster!
Here’s How to Spot Fake Friends
Are you ready for this? Here goes: You do it by being yourself, by setting boundaries, and by speaking and standing in your truth. I’ll explain deeper.
1. Be Yourself.
Too many people put on fake personas to sucker you in and get what they want from you. Therefore, whenever you’re confused about a friend’s intentions, you may have to conduct a test to see if the person really is your friend.
This can be difficult to do, especially if you’re a victim of bullying because you’re afraid of rocking the boat and pissing the person off.
However, you must realize that, if you’re a target of bullying, chances are good that most of your friends aren’t really for you. They only act like they are to either get something from you, or they tolerate you because they feel sorry for you.
You must realize that people like these can reek lots of havoc in your life if you aren’t careful! They can turn on you at any moment, stab you in the back, and disappear when your bullies come for you.
Therefore, for your own sake, give these fakers the boot!
Like Attracts Like
To put it plainly, when you’re fake, you only attract more like-minded people into your world- fakes, fraudsters, and imposters! However, when you start being yourself, these people will naturally be repelled because they won’t like it.
Being real has a way of intimidating and threatening the fake. It strikes fear in them because a person who’s for real has a chance of exposing all who are fake.
Is it any wonder that fake people either stay away from or bully those who are real? It’s because truth and reality scare them to death!
Therefore, never be afraid to start being your true, authentic self. It exposes imposters without them even realizing it because they will react very harshly.
It is through their brutal reactions that these people expose themselves.
2. How to Spot Fake Friends: Set Boundaries.
This is a biggie! Setting boundaries is not easy. It can be frightening sometimes, especially when someone pushes you too far and the situation calls for you to put on your bitch-face and show your booty to people.
However, don’t worry about what others will think of it or say about it.
Boundaries always expose the fakes. Always! When you start setting boundaries, watch how people react! You’ll be amazed at how many people get angry and upset!
Therefore, you will automatically see their evil sides as they immediately turn against you, trying to lay guilt trips on you or smearing you to others.
However, understand that anyone who gets angry at you for having boundaries only does so because they’ve benefited all this time from you not having any.
Do you think they want those benefits to stop?
3. Say no.
Saying no is difficult because it involves risk. However, it’s one of the ways you practice self-care. Moreover, it’s how you expose fake people in your life.
You see? When you tell a real friend no and explain why you won’t or can’t. They will understand and keep the friendship alive.
However, tell a fake friend no and they’re either get angry and lash out, or try to manipulate you into changing your mind.
Again, this is how you get them to show themselves as they truly are. Also, it’s the prerequisite to weeding out the fakers.
And when you make imposters expose themselves through their behavior, you instantly know who to kick out of your life and who to keep around.
Therefore, this is a good thing!
4. How to Spot Fake Friends: Succeed at something.
One way to flush out the fakes is to accomplish something. In other words, win at something.
For example, you win fifty thousand dollars in a contest, or publish a book and make the international best seller list. The money begins rolling in.
You can bet that the majority of your friends will be jealous and resentful. Many may turn on you and accuse you of cheating in the contest.
Maybe a few people you thought were friends suddenly stop talking to you or act cold toward you after you reap huge financial rewards for your best selling novel.
However, don’t feel bad. Although it may hurt, it may even break your heart, see it for what it is. These people are only showing their true colors.
Listen to them and do what you need to do to cut off contact because they were never truly in your corner to begin with.
Know that real friends are happy for you. They cheer you on because they will want what’s best for you and to see you happy. These people celebrate your wins with you.
5. Speak and Stand in Your Truth.
When you begin freely speaking out about past abuse and bullying, you can bet that you’ll make a lot of people angry. Moreover, you’ll make bitter enemies not only of the people who wronged you in the past but also of those who stood by and watched it happen but failed to stop it.
Sadly, even a few you thought were with you will suddenly turn their backs on you.
However, see this as your clue to which friends to keep and which to let go. Again, this is how fake friends expose themselves and their intentions toward you.
6. How to Spot Fake Friends: Ask for help with something.
It’s one thing when friends can’t help you on a particular day you need it. Maybe the friend’s mother or their child suddenly became sick and the friend had to take them to the hospital or doctor’s office.
Also, your friend who had the day off to help you was suddenly called into work. Naturally, these situations are understandable and you should graciously respect that.
However, if your friend has a long record of either making excuses as to why they can’t be there for you, they stand you up without calling you to let you no, or they just disappear every time you’re in a jam, that’s a red flag.
Again, their actions and reactions tell you everything you need to know. Therefore, pay attention and see this as your cue to make changes in the friendship that you need to make.
7. Just Watch and Listen.
Many times, all it takes is just to watch and listen.
In other words, notice how they carry themselves and how they talk and act. You’d be surprised at how much you can learn by observing and listening.
Let’s break it down. If you catch them talking bad about another of their friends, stabbing them in the back, you can be sure they’re talking about you behind yours.
Moreover, if you notice that you only see them when things are going good in your life, then when you’re flat on your back, they seem to disappear, that’s another red flag. You don’t need fair weather friends.
If they’re into drama or always come around when they need something, this is a bad sign as well.
This last one is a biggie! If they’re quick to believe the lies and smears your bullies spread about you, then they’re definitely not friends!
It pays to choose your friends wisely.
This Post Was about how to spot fake friends so that you can get rid of them and take back your peace and dignity.
1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators
2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot
3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know
4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of
5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use
This is something I’m struggling with. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more out of touch with the people around me when it comes to politics and beliefs. I haven’t changed as much as the world around me has, and most of the people like me either have moved away or grown up and have completely different lives now, or both. I wonder if maybe I need to be more outspoken… particularly, if I really do feel like God has work for me to do here, I need to be outspoken specifically about Jesus Christ being the Savior of all human beings, as opposed to being outspoken about politics. But that’ll probably also cost me much of what little social life I have left, particularly since I don’t exactly have tact or discernment to know what is appropriate to say in certain situations, so in practice I just keep quiet about controversial issues…
My heart goes out to you, Greg. I can’t say that I blame you for your silence. I realize that when friendship and acceptance is already limited, it makes it that much harder to speak your mind. Many God bless you abundantly! <3
Thank you… I think I was a bit spoiled through the events that inspired the stories I’ve told recently in my blog, where my finding Jesus was intimately tied up with finding real friends who cared about me for who I was, in a college town where Christians weren’t afraid to be intellectual. I spent my late 20s first at an extremely legalistic and anti-intellectual church, and then at one where I was accused of horrible things while other people did even worse and no one batted an eye (that is going to be the back story of another continuing story blog I will write eventually, http://justtaketheleap.wordpress.com). I considered making a long move then, and sometimes these days I wish I had, but I opted for a short move instead, just far enough to make a fresh start. I got back into swing dancing through church friends in my 30s, then from there I got into other kinds of dancing as well as various groups who play strategy board games, Dungeons & Dragons, and stuff like that. Unlike some people, I don’t believe that those activities are inherently evil, but they do tend to attract people with very different beliefs and values from mine who tend to be outspokenly hostile to my views. A few weeks ago, I was playing board games with some friends (who are polyamorous, but I get along with them and I don’t ask questions about their relationships, and they don’t make too big a deal of it), and there were three new people in the group that night. One of them was talking about how when he is on Tinder and someone says right up front in their profile that they love Jesus, then he knows to swipe past them right away, because f*** Jesus, and another one was talking about how she wants to get her master’s in nursing so she can perform lots of abortions. It was hard for me to keep my mouth shut and my fists at my side that night, but I did… should I have? I really don’t know. But that’s the problem; my beliefs and values don’t line up with my interests. The people with my beliefs and values don’t have social lives anymore, because their social lives revolve around their kids, or they have moved away to more conservative states, or both.
So I don’t know what I’m trying to say… except that it’s hard… :\
I’m so sorry, Greg. I know it’s hard. And I don’t know the reason you go through what you’re enduring. Only God knows that reason.
Amen…
Very well put, Cherie, and always worth being reminded of this👌 I love that you simply have to be yourself to find out who your true friends are! 😂
Here’s a conundrum: what if you’re the toxic person and your friends put you on the spot to try and teach you where you might have said or done something wrong. Cause only a true friend would do that, wouldn’t they? Also, only a true friend would be able to get away with it, wouldn’t they?! 😂
But I guess the ‘toxic’ person couldn’t be all bad if they’ve got friends in the first place? Hey, you’ve really got me thinking with this post! Great food for thought 💭💕😊
Great point there, Sunra! But sadly, that conundrum is a rare one as most toxic people only surround themselves with enablers, flying monkeys, weak wannabes, and patsies.
Thanks Cherie. Yeah, that’s true. I guess I like to think that people can change. But frenemies are definitely a thing!
Always enjoy your posts. You give voice to the voiceless👌☀️
You’re most welcome. This means a lot to me. <3
You’re welcome! Thank you too ❤️😊
Thee are so true!!!!
I love this post. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure, Eunice. You’re very welcome. 💖
🙏
Oh my goodness! This is really important to know and to act upon. What confirmation and affirmation. Love it! Thank you, Cherie. 💕
You’re most welcome, Michele! And thank you so much for your kind words! 💖
Several thoughts on this because I think the older you get the less friends and even true family you realize you have. One, I think you have to ask yourself who would get out of their warm bed at 2 in the morning to help me if I had a dire need. Second, who will show me tough love when needed. If I am royally screwing up will they tell me. Three, how much comfort to feel around them telling dark secrets. Do I feel comfortable being myself. Would I wear short shorts or a bathing suit around them and feel comfortable. Four, can I be honest with them? In this case, I largely mean opposite sex friends. Many many times friendships become relationships OR at some point you have a crush on someone at some point. Can you be honest with that. Five, once again an opposite sex friendship usually but will they stay committed to the friendship even when your significant other as a jealous streak. Six, how do they treat you in a group setting. It is one thing to have a little but of not serious playful teasing for a minute or two but do they ignore you when others are around or attack you in a group setting but act like you are best buddies in a one on one situation. The last one has happened to me a lot!
These are very good points to make, PJ. I actually have a post scheduled to post within a few months that directly deals with the issues you just commented about. These are all the signs of a fake friend. Thank you so much for touching on this!
I found another way to weed out fake friends, when I quit drinking. The fake friends saw me as ‘no fun anymore.’
There you go, Michael! Most people don’t like change. And you made a change, a good one and healthier one. I’m proud of you. And chances are that those drinking buddies were quickly replaced with new friends who didn’t drink. 😊