As we know, bullies are notorious for trying to control other people and bend them to their will. And they do it by using fear-tactics, threats, and force. However, here’s the thing they don’t realize.
When you try to get someone to do something, the more they’ll want to do the opposite.
“Parents are fully aware of this law! If you tell your children not to do something, they want to do it all the more.” (“The Like Switch,” by Jack Schafer PhD and Martin Karlins PhD p.114, para. 3)
Bullies are all about making the statement, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Remember the line in the movie Matilda, by Matilda’s father, Harry Wormwood, played by Danny DeVito?
“Listen, you little wiseacre: I’m smart, you’re dumb; I’m big, you’re little; I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
Just imagine how that made little Matilda feel. It only made her that much more determined to do and say what she wanted.
This I’m right/You’re wrong approach bullies cram down their targets’ throats only puts them on the defensive. It inspires them to push back. In other words, it’s only natural for others to protect their reputations, images, and egos. Therefore, bullies only pit other people against them.
But it’s the same when targets try to get others to accept them.
Bullies have bullied them for so long and rendered targets lonely and friendless. Therefore, some targets will often use every trick in the book to win friends. They’ll tell sob stories, fake being ill, dress in flashy clothing and act like they have more money than they do. Bullies and others see through this and get angry. Why? Because they know the target is attempting to trick them into doing something they aren’t ready to do.
Tricks and fakery are also forms of control. The only difference is that they are the passive kinds of control. And people hate being tricked less than they do blunt force. However, trickery is still a type of force- only it’s force without the other person’s knowledge.
Realize that the only person you can control is you. Other people have minds of their own and they will do whether they wish. There’s no stopping human nature. Sometimes you must go with the flow and once you do, you have a better chance of getting the desired outcomes and results.
With knowledge comes empowerment!