It’s true. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies more than likely don’t consciously know why they hate you. So, what do they do? They make up reasons.
And the reasons they make up arise from confabulations and hasty generalizations. The reasons also come from long-standing rumors that turn into myths. These myths may have been around for years- even decades. When a myth or generalization has been the narrative long enough, it goes unquestioned and takes on a life of its own. It’s “just the way it is.” As a result, people become “biased” against the target.
When bullies and others are biased against a person, they accept any myth as truth, and this bias keeps bullies wound up and ready to hurt the target. Bias blinds people and claims to know the truth about a person or group of people without concrete evidence or firsthand knowledge.
People support biases with stereotypes, which are only lies and opinions repeated so often and for so long until society accepts them as the truth.
But know this. If you’re a target of bullies, although others may tag you with labels that don’t apply to you, you don’t have to accept them nor let them define who you are. Only you can define yourself. Nobody else can do it for you. Understand that nobody knows the inner you but you.
Know that you have the power to accept or reject labels. Use that power. Reject your bullies’ definitions of you. Bullies may have a degree of control over your surroundings and, yes, even your physical well-being. They may also control how others view you.
But they can never control what you think of yourself. Bullies can’t control your mind and thoughts without your permission. That power belongs to you and you alone.
Bullies will find the slightest reason to dislike someone and if not, they’ll make something up. Excellent post, Cherie.
Thank you so much, Michael! 😊 And you’re right! 💯
“But they can never control what you think of yourself. Bullies can’t control your mind and thoughts without your permission. That power belongs to you and you alone.”
Too True!
Great Post Cherie
Thank you so much Lance! 😊
I think there are several major factors. 1) You make them uncomfortable. Perhaps you have a talent most don’t have. Perhaps you have life experiences they don’t have etc or are different. I know back in my day if you were a girl and a Tomboy, the girly girls didn’t like that and some of the boys which often stemmed from the fact there was always that one girl who was more athletic or stronger than most of the guys or knew more about mechanics.
2)Jealousy. If you had a skill they didn’t have they hated that. 3) If you were extremely shy. 4) If you were overly smart. This starts to hit around middle school and big time in high school. 5) You aren’t from here. This is really the small town mindset. Some people’s entire life centers around that town and if you were always from there.
You’re spot on with all of these points- especially #5! Thank you so much for your input! 💯💯💯
I think you are very right bully can control our surroundings or physical well being but not our mind or thinking capacities! Well shared thanks 👍
You’re most welcome, Priti! 💖 And thank you for your thoughts!
They hate you but they just don’t know why? 🤔 What a waste of time. Just walk away, leaving them there to figure that one out! SMH 🙄 Whatever the reasons are, they won’t make a lick of sense anyway. I hope you’re feeling rejuvenated today my friend. Take care and enjoy your day! 🌞💖😘🦋🤩 Smooches! 💋💋💋
Thank you so much, dahhh-ling! Hugs and smooches back! 💖💐🌹🤗😘🤗😘🤗😘
Definitely..they don’t know but they do…
Exactly right! 💯💯💯
It’s so very true.. sometimes people attribute their broken and shattered lives due to the abuse that they have gone through in their lives. Perhaps there is some modicum of truth in that. However, every person is truly responsible for how they perceive themselves and what they choose to become.
Great post with a wonderful message! 😊
Thank you so much, Simone! 💖🌹🌻🌺🤗 And you’re exactly right, many bullies are only compensating for the abuse they’ve suffered in their own lives and it’s sad.
The biggest driving force of bullies and all those people who hate on others without reason is JEALOUSY. They want/wish they had what the other person has and because they can’t control their hard feelings, they allow themselves to get unreasonably angry at the other person and use their power and resources to terribly hurt the other person deeply, just so they can feel better about their horrible feelings of inadequacy.
We as a human race are extremely scary. That’s why the bible tells us to control ourselves. Self control is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and rightfully so. The results of the lack of it are unimaginable.
May God help us🙏🏿
You’re absolutely right, Jermena! Jealousy is the root of bullying in many cases and they want to bring you down to their level. Your shine blinds them! And your intelligence, talents and other good qualities threatens their power. Self control is indeed a gift from God. Without it, you go nowhere. Thank you so much for your insights! 💖💐🌹🦋
I don’t know how you write so many posts and they are all so incredibly thoughtful, well written, and on point! Great work as always
Thank you so much, sweetie. They’re posts that have been written in notebooks over the years, others are old posts that were revamped, and others are brand new. I’ve been blogging for six years so I have a lot of posts now. 💖💐🌹🦋
This helps me not personalize it as much as I have in the past. Thank you 🙂
You’re most welcome, Liz! 💖 Like you, once I realized this, I felt the same way!