Targets of Bullying Who Use Daydreaming as Their Escape

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“What else is left in a harsh, cold world than to dream away in your comforting imagination.”

~ From the Joy, Passion, Desire blog ~

Those six years were the most difficult years of my life. It was during those years that I mostly lived in my own little fantasy world. I think this was partly the reason I began writing at such a young age.

Daydreaming isn’t a bad thing. A moderate amount of it is actually very healthy and sometimes helps us to weather some really bad storms in life. But too much of it can be harmful.

I’ve talked to many other targets and survivors of bullying and most of them have told me the same- that they have often retreated into their own fantasy world where things go their way all the time, where they have imaginary friends. Or they may imagine lying on the beach on a tropical island and swimming in the clear, blue waters of the ocean, like I did. Just as I was, they’re very secretive about this other world. It’s not something they will talk openly about and will only indulge in when they’re alone.

This fantasy world is a private world where we feel safest and sadly, it can become addictive if we’re not careful. I can tell you that my addiction to escaping got so bad that I would drift off in the middle of class and wouldn’t hear the teacher call my name when he/she chose me to answer a question. And many times, I got in serious trouble because of this. Physically, I was sitting in class. Mentally, I was off on a tropical island somewhere, soaking up the sun.

Sadly, I let it overtake me back then. For a while, I lost my connection to the real world, I think. Being a kid, I lived in this world of make-believe so much so that I missed out on many exciting things and stopped learning life’s lessons. I completely quit paying attention to things that went on around me that I normally would’ve picked up on.

You see, there’s a huge cost of escapism when it becomes an addiction. When you’re being bullied is the time when you must be the most alert to everything that happens around you. You must be ready for anything. You must be able to read subtext and decipher meanings behind meanings. And you must learn to pick up vibes that people put off.

Excessive escapism can cut you off from learning these valuable things. That’s why if you’re stuck living in a fantasy world, you must get out of your own head!

Thank goodness, I eventually got out of that habit. There’s nothing wrong with daydreaming every now and again but when it becomes constant, it’s only a sign that something is terribly wrong in your life and changes need to be made to make life better for you. But to make those changes, you must be willing to do a lot of hard work.

And I guarantee you this. If you get out of your own head and put in this work, it will pay off and you’ll thank yourself for it later!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

51 thoughts on “Targets of Bullying Who Use Daydreaming as Their Escape”

  1. Matt The Happy Human says:
    Reply

    Hi Cherie!

    “This fantasy world is a private world where we feel safest and sadly, it can become addictive if we’re not careful.”

    I think the best we can aspire to is to create a place where we feel safest in the real world.

    By surrounding ourselves with supportive friends we can move our safety from fantasy to reality.

    Building a safe, strong and secure framework for our lives means we no longer have to escape.

    Thanks again for sharing your insights and thoughts.

    🫂🙂🫂🙂🫂

  3. Kym Gordon Moore says:
    Reply

    Bullies are dysfunctional, so when they try to seize your power, you gotta learn how to yank it back!!! Love these lines:

    “There’s nothing wrong with daydreaming every now and again but when it becomes constant, it’s only a sign that something is terribly wrong in your life and changes need to be made to make life better for you.”

    Child, you got to be alert for those jokers! LOL 😯🧐🤓

  6. RespectAll44 says:
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    I actually think never losing our sense of imagination is a good thing. Having goals and dreams is important and I think dreaming big is very healthy. I also think a lot of creativity comes from daydreaming and then watching some of it come to fruition. Case and point, look at your writing. You started in school and then it wasn’t until years later your work started getting published.

    • cheriewhite says:
      Reply

      I totally agree! There’s nothing wrong with imagination. However, when I was in school, it became an addiction and I missed a lot of cues and signs that I should’ve seen. But absolutely, we should never give up our imagination because, in moderation, it has definitely taken me places I never thought I’d go! Thank you so much for your thoughts! 💖💐🌹

  7. Jen says:
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    I turn my daydreaming into stories and drawings to help cope with the trauma from having been bullied by children and adults. It’s a great outlet.

  8. Jim Wingrove says:
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    There are some people who, without a fantasy life, would have no life at all, and it isn’t their fault…I basically agree with you, but I wouldn’t be too harsh about “escapism” it’s a normal reaction to terrible circumstances…I am wary about too much “personal empowerment” as a solution to a societal problem that can only be solved by changing the society. Increased bullying is a natural outcome of the destruction of all communities in the name of capitalism. Capitalists are the greatest bullies of them all…we’ve given all our power to uber bullies…so big surprise when your life sucks. Sorry if this is a rant..I am a very damaged person and I get tired of told to “grow a spine…” ☺️☺️

  11. Journalofedification says:
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    It’s not just with being bullied, but with those that feel unaccepted or a “black sheep” of sorts; someone who wants to be accepted. Their thoughts may constantly make them a “hero” or a “princess,” someone others will admire. We need to learn to be comfortable in our own skin — to accept our strengths and, especially, our weaknesses. For me, knowing that the Greater One has accepted me and I’m connected to Him has brought me an inner courage and strength, and sensitivity for others trying to fit in. 👍👍

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