The Difference between Confidence and Arrogance

Many people get the two confused. Why? Because they’ve been conditioned to believe that even the smallest shred of confidence is arrogance and that it’s bad.

Sadly, many people are taught by bullies, abusers, or well-meaning people who, themselves were also taught such things and didn’t know better; that confidence, self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are arrogance and they’re bad people for having those treasures. They are also manipulated into believing that they don’t deserve them.

If you were taught this, understand that you were fed lies. Confidence, basic self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are not arrogant, and they aren’t selfish. What they are is essential– essential for good mental health and a good life. They’re crucial for happiness and fulfillment.


Realize that when someone attacks your confidence by accusing you of being arrogant or self-centered, it’s not about you. It’s really about them and always has been. Because they only do it to keep you down by making you feel less than them.

They do it because, deep down, they feel small. So, they feel they must push you down into the pits of low self-esteem so they can feel superior. These people, who are bullies, believe they must break your spirit to uplift theirs.

Oh, but wait! Here’s something else to think about here: maybe bullies and abusers drum this garbage into your head because they’re afraid. That’s right!

They’re frightened that if you manage to attain or to keep that precious confidence that you were born with, then you just might grow a pair of coconuts! You’re more likely to develop the spinal column to tell them where they can stick it and drop them like a bad habit!

Realize that this is about power. Moreover, it’s about making sure they keep you in your place, so they don’t risk losing their power over you.

So, what is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Here are your answers:

1. Confidence is healthy. It’s never shy nor boastful. It’s that happy and healthy middle between low self-esteem and smugness. When a person is confident, they don’t have to trumpet their own importance and they don’t have to show off. Confidence isn’t loud or obnoxious, it’s quiet. A confident person doesn’t boast or brag because they don’t have to. They know their value and all the good they bring to this world. They already know their own importance. Confidence is seen and not heard because it’s there.

Confident people believe they’re equal to everyone else. They believe they’re no better than anyone but just as good. They are kind to others and allow them to be themselves and do their own thing. However, a confident person is assertive. They aren’t afraid to set firm boundaries and lay down the law if another person sticks so much as a toe over their boundaries.

2. Arrogance is unhealthy- in fact, it’s toxic! Arrogance is extreme. It’s loud and obnoxious. When a person is arrogant, they’re full of themselves. An arrogant person makes sure that everyone around them knows how important they are because they announce it to the world.

Arrogance is like a peacock; it shows all it’s pretty colors and expects people to notice and give it recognition. Arrogance is boastful because it is insecure, and it craves attention, admiration, and adoration.

An arrogant person believes he’s superior. They treat people they deem inferior like dirt and will go out of their way to bully them and let them know who the king of the mountain is.

An arrogant person either doesn’t recognize boundaries, or he resents them. He believes that he should have carte blanche to violate another person’s boundaries and gets highly pissed if the person he bullies has the gall to stand up to him.

An arrogant person is a self-entitled, egotistical, self-satisfied turd who uses flamboyance to compensate for insecurity, cowardice, and weakness.

A confident person, on the other hand, doesn’t let his confidence effect the way he treats people because he believes that everyone has a right to respect and dignity.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be confident and to be comfortable in your own skin. It’s okay to have respect for yourself and to love yourself. And it’s okay to indulge in self-care and to tell some creep to go to hell if they get abusive with you. So, be confident! Know that you can have confidence without being a pompous stuffed shirt. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well and with love and respect.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “The Difference between Confidence and Arrogance

  1. aparna12 says:

    Fabulous post. You beautifully expressed the difference between confidence and arrogance. Actually looking forward to reading your next post. Great work.

  2. AP2 says:

    I think an arrogant person is actually insecure. They need to feel/point out they are better than because they don’t really believe they themselves are enough. A confident person simply believes and trusts in themselves. They don’t feel the need to compare that to others. Great post

  3. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Awesome post Cherie! 👏🏼 Confidence is fulfilling and self-assuring. Arrogance takes up way too much energy, is selfish, and self-defeating. No honey, the two are polar opposites. It’s all about attitude. Thanks so much for differentiating between the two, because I agree with you, they are clearly different! 👍🏽😉✨😊✨😘🥂

  4. nightshade130 says:

    Hi Cherie, Thanks for visiting and following my blog 😊. I just checked out yours and I love your writing style and content! The cyberbully post really intrigued me. Sometimes idle minds have nothing better to do than to troll people making a positive impact. Stay safe out there!


    • cheriewhite says:

      Thank you so much, Sherline.💖 You don’t know how much this means. 💯 And boy, are you right about idle minds! You stay safe too! Wishing you an awesome Monday and week ahead! 💐🌹🕊

  5. RJ Dawson says:

    Thanks Cherie. This is good. We must be confident as the Lord made us in part to not be overcome by those who would tear us down. However, because we all fall short at times it would be better to pray that someone goes to heaven. Blessings

  6. Jen says:

    Concurring with what you wrote, there may be a reason for this common conflation. The Deadly Sin “pride” was originally called “vainglory” — another word for narcissism (lack of empathy, remorse, responsibility, etc.) Over time this got lost in translation.

  7. Shanthy (SGR) says:

    nicely articulated… 🙂 loved the way you connected it to a peacock.. pride and arrogance do go together.. whether the person realizes it or not makes a difference!

  8. Steven Sharma says:

    In my case, I know myself and I don’t see any need to compromise by changing my personality infront of different people, which might look arrogance to others.
    And nicely written Cherie, I loved your writing and topic you write 🙂.
    Hope you remembered 🙂

  9. eileenot69 says:

    What a great piece. I loved the easy to follow contrast between the two points. And whoever “he” is, I hope that he no longer has access to you as it is undeserved. Wishing you happiness every day!

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