Tag: arrogance

Two Groups that Have Much in Common

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Globalists at Davos  and The High School Clique

There really isn’t much difference between these two types of groups. Both have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. They are extremely self-entitled and think that they should have power over everyone else.

1. They believe they have the “authority” to decide who’s who.

These people feel that they have final say on who’s worth something and who isn’t. They think they determine who belongs on this earth and who doesn’t. Who has talent and who doesn’t. And who can talk and who should stay silent.

2. Both groups believe they are sovereign.

The typical high school clique and the Davos crowd feel that they are the only people who have the right to enjoy freedom. Therefore, they believe they should be unlimited while the rest of us should be oppressed.

3. They believe that they know us better than we know ourselves.

These people believe that they have pure intentions while the rest of us are evil, unclean, unwashed, and useless. Also, they believe that we don’t know how to run our own lives and that they should have carte blanche to rule over us.

4. They believe that they have the authority to tell the rest of us what to do and how to live and think.

Both groups have standards they demand that we all live up to, wishing to tell us what we can eat, use, and where we should live. Additionally, they wish to control our speech and our movements.

5. They believe they are perfect or “sinless”.

In other words, they think that they can do no wrong. Therefore, they believe that nothing they do, regardless of how evil, should have consequences. Moreover, if you attempt to expose them and hold them accountable, they will only retaliate and take revenge.

6. They have dirty secrets that they keep from public knowledge.

These groups often participate in evils that most of us have no idea of. And if we do, most will stay silent for fear of ruination. For example, the high school clique might have skeletons in their closet also, or have family members who do. The high school clique may also have henchmen to rough up a target for reporting their bullying. The Globalists, on the other hand, might be involved in drug trafficking, contractual murders, satanic worship and rituals, or human and child trafficking.

Here’s another example.

Both groups will ruin your good reputation. Only high school cliques use word of mouth, social media, and internet town forums. Some might even use lawfare and local politics. The globalists, on the other hand, use the media, politics, lawfare, the fabrication of evidence, and setups.

The point of this post is this. Bullies are bullies are bullies. It doesn’t matter who they are or what group they belong to. Whether they are in the Global evil-lite, the mob, the neighborhood gang, or the high school clique, their tactics are, pretty much, the same and have the same outcomes. However, each group has different styles of operation. They execute their tactics in different ways and under different circumstances.

Again, they both use the same tactics with the same outcomes.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How Confidence and Egotism Differ

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The confusion between the two is quite common. However, there are ways to distinguish between confidence and egotism. Before I go further, let me start by saying that we all have egos. However, the trick is in how we handle them.

1. Confidence is quiet. Egotism is loud and boastful.

2. The former doesn’t have to boast because it already knows its value. The latter, on the other hand, must constantly remind others of its value.

3. Confidence is teachable. Whereas, egotism is not. It kills the capacity to learn because it thinks it already knows everything there is to know.

4. Confidence leads to growth. Egotism can only lead to stagnation and eventual destruction.

Two Opposites

Princess Diana, during her latter years, was the perfect example of confidence. Once she saw her worth, she traveled the world, helping the less fortunate.

Hitler, on the other hand, was an example of egotism. His overinflated ego led to the destruction and loss of millions of innocent lives. Also, it produced intense hatred for an entire people.

As we know, bullies aren’t confident, they’re egotistical. Again, we all have egos. However, not all of us have egotism. Egotism is bad because it often stems from negative feelings of anger, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, and fear. And it’s the reason bullies often target those based on the lower role they play and their stations in life.

Confidence Promotes Equality while Egotism Promotes Division

Confident people treat the janitor or the security guard with the same respect they would give the company president or the CEO. In contrast, egotistical bullies only will only mistreat the janitor and security guard while sucking up to the president and the CEO.

A confident person gives kindness and respect to those who can do nothing for him. He treats everyone equally regardless of difference or position. Ego-driven bullies only abuse those he knows can’t benefit him somehow.

Those who are confident have selfless motives and doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re a decent and moral person. However, those who are ego-driven bullies are self-serving. With these types of personalities, it’s all about fame and name.

Putting ego aside means respecting those who society deems beneath you and giving them the same human value. It means making an effort to understand those who are different from you and doing your best to help them somehow.

Egotism is when ego overrides humanity and places it in grave danger. Confidence, on the other hand, helps and saves humanity.

Confidence Saves Humanity, Egotism Destroys it.

Sadly, I’ve worked with people who were great people to get along with. But once they got that coveted promotion, they became people I no longer recognized.

Bullies often spend money beyond their means to buy expensive clothes and cars, trying to look like they’re better off than everyone else. This is a sure hallmark of egotism. Unfortunately, they get deep in debt and sometimes resort to thievery to get out of it. As a result, they end up in legal trouble, which is an example of the self-destruction that egotism can bring.

Therefore, be aware of these signs in other people. And be confident, but know where the line between confidence and egotism lies.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Excerpt from The Unpublished Novel, “A Mile in Charlotte’s Shoes” (Bullying, Social Politics, and the Power Dynamic) Part 2

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Part 2

…Middle school and high school were periods of time during which- right, wrong, good, bad, ugly or indifferent everything, according to everyone in that awkward age group, was shameful and the definition of what was good or bad (or cool) became blurred and not so clear anymore.

It was a time when you were too weird, too straight-laced, too smart, or not smart enough. You were either an evil monster or a goodie-two-shoes, too stoic or too sensitive! Your nose was too crooked, too long, or too short. Your skin was either too clear, too blotchy, too pale, or not pale enough. Your hair was either too long, short, straight, or curly. You were either too skinny or too fat. Your clothes were either overly flashy or much too drab.

Charlotte would often think, “Lord! Can everyone just make up their minds, for crying out loud?” It was all so confusing!

There were things about Charlotte her peers could not wait to nitpick, things which were either beyond her control, chosen at random or completely fabricated. And she wondered why all this trivial crap even mattered.

The world had suddenly become one big and twisted soap opera. And it was obvious whom the biggest stars of this proverbial daytime drama were.

They were the best actors- the best liars and fakers!

Charlotte noticed that anytime she heard a member of the in-crowd tell a bad joke, the rest of the class would only laugh that fake laugh people always used whenever the corny joke was told by someone whose ass they wanted to kiss.

What those suck-ups never realized was that they only degraded themselves by replacing their true laugh with one that was counterfeit. Charlotte could only imagine how furious the so-called cool kids would be if they only knew the rest of the class were only patronizing them.

It was all akin to playing a card game with an opponent and ‘letting them win’- just another form of deception.

All that kindness and consideration shown to the so-called top dogs was only for purposes of vanity and due to their high positions in the school social hierarchy. The rest of the student body most certainly did not like them for them and most of those who were not in the in-crowd were wise enough to see it.

All this drove Charlotte nuts! At times, she would wonder, “How in the blue blazes am I the one who was always in the wrong?”

It was a system that was one big freak show and one Charlotte had no desire to be a part of. Sadly, this attitude would be to her detriment. She learned the hard way that if you want to get along in this thing- this maze called Life, you had to play along!

The thought of it was enough to make her shudder. No way did Charlotte want to be patronized or pacified! She detested liars and fakes and preferred to be told the truth. This kind of fakery was an insult to the recipient!

These were Charlotte’s thoughts:

“If you want a reaction out of me, then you damn well better deserve it!”

When she would hear some moron tell a corny joke, Charlotte would only roll her eyes instead of laughing and as a result, everyone else would take her silence and lack of interest as a direct insult and escalate the harassment.

Charlotte had nothing to say to any of them. Every day, she would pass them in the halls and look right through them instead of at them. Naturally, this was an even bigger insult because it seemed they expected her to bow-down and lick their boots like most of the other kids did.

And many of her classmates did believe they were better than Charlotte and that she owed them complete homage and submission to their will and every whim.

They saw themselves as an authority over her- higher than her and how dare she not acknowledge their superiority! Kids who were considered on the lower end endured those proverbial gut punches every single day!

With every misstep she took, Charlotte would feel the flaming hot coals of ridicule scorch the soles of her feet!

But as painful as it was, she would much rather have resisted her bullies rather than acknowledged them, much less make any effort to appease them or worse, seek their approval. Charlotte was way past crawling up behind anyone and she already knew where it would get her.

In the past, it had always seemed that the harder Charlotte tried not to be a target- the more effort she put into being “normal”, the worse she would fail. She was either being fake or being arrogant and uppity, and only certain kids could be uppity and get away with it.

At Beulah High School, you either knew your place or you were put in it. If you were on the lower ranks, daring to show any confidence or backbone could be dangerous. Because if you weren’t good enough, those in the upper echelons of the social order expected, even demanded that you kept your head down.

The bottom of the stack was like a raging torrent and the harder Charlotte struggled to reach the surface and get her head above water, the stronger the current, and the deeper it seemed to suck her down.

Therefore, Charlotte had long given up on trying to be like any of them because it was too much work and she had no time for it. She’d be damned if she was going to lie to herself just to win their approval! Forget that noise! She was through with false impressions! She just could not bring herself to do it.

Why? Because all of it was only wasted time, effort, and energy. If you were on the bottom floor, the reality was that the harder you tried to make friends, the harder and further people pushed you away. You were too desperate, too clingy, or too oblivious to how negatively you came across to people and the worst part was that there was no way to fix any of it without knowing what was broken.

And they would never tell her what it was because they didn’t know either. All they knew was that they hated her and couldn’t wait to pick her apart piece by piece…

Behind The Bully’s Fake Superiority

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Instead of putting in the work to improve and better themselves, bullies would rather tear down and destroy another person to look bigger and better than what they are. Understand that bullies never build up, they tear down. They do not create or restore, they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, but they subtract from everything.

Understand that bullies are losers, and they cannot survive in a meritocracy. They have no redeeming characteristics and no real personalities nor qualities. So, in being the weak and pathetic losers they really are, bullies tap into the only power they have left- their last resort, and they make a last-ditch effort to preserve their fragile egos.

They select a person to target and say something mean and hurtful. If that person is you, you’re naturally shocked at first and you feel off balance. Next the shock wears off and you begin feeling the pain in your heart.

If you’re a target, chances are really good that you’re a decent person and you’ve been raised with morals. You’ve been taught to treat others as you yourself would want others to treat you. And like any good person, you won’t be able to understand how or why people would be so mean-spirited and vicious to another person.

After having this happen to you for so long, you wonder, “Was it something I said? Something I did that rubbed them the wrong way?”

You then begin developing negative thoughts because others have made you feel completely worthless and useless. But!

Realize that this is a trap and if you’re not careful, you will fall into the habit of demeaning yourself. Instead, make a promise to yourself and keep it. Promise yourself that you will no longer let someone else define you. Promise yourself that you will no longer let another person decide your worth, that you will never allow other people to decide your successes or failures, or what your capabilities are.

It’ll be hard at first. But make a conscious, intentional, and concerted effort not to value the opinions and insults of a bully. Understand that you have no control over other peoples’ actions, behaviors, nor opinions. If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem, not yours.

Many of my classmates would come out and tell me, “You know what? I’ve got a real problem with you…” They had a problem alright, that much was true. But their problem wasn’t my problem.

Understand that people only look down on you to make themselves look and feel superior, and to bring you down to their level. Realize that people look down on you to conceal their own jealousy, emotional/mental instability, low self-esteem, and insecurity.

Here’s another reason people look down on you. Because it works for them- makes them feel powerful. It works because you give them validity by placing too much value to their opinions. If you didn’t, why else would you give their childish behavior and petty insults any energy at all?

You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. You must see through the facades that bullies put up. And once you do, it will no longer bother you when people look down on you. In fact, you might even see the hilarity in your bullies’ collective fakery, and give them a scoff and a horselaugh as you walk past them. Now that’s the way to take the wind right out of their sails!

Then allow yourself a few chuckles, because, at the end of the day, these people really are quite entertaining- and pathetic.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

4 Non-Verbal Bullying Tactics Targets Must Be Aware of

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Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected.

This type of bullying can occur either at school or in the workplace. Here are a few such subtleties.

1. They lean against the victim’s desk, office doorway, car, etc. Anytime we lean against something, we stake a claim to or show ownership of that object.

How you handle it is to tell the bully point blank and in a stern voice,
“Get off my desk (car, etc.)”

Macho man standing crossed arms near luxury open top car in tropical resort isometric image vector illustration

2. The bully will sit in the other person’s chair. Again, any chair you sit in, you non-verbally lay claim to.

Address it by telling the person in no uncertain terms to unseat your chair.

3. The bully may also pick the victim’s notebook, purse off the victim’s desk, touch their property, etc. Understand that anything of yours the bully touches, he is laying claim to.

The unspoken message that the bully is sending is, “I own your desk, car, notebook, and anything that’s yours.”

Don’t ignore it, and don’t be quiet about it. Open your mouth and tell the creep to keep his hands off your stuff.

When I was in school, I saw a bully walk up to a table of freshman boys during lunch and pluck a French fry from one of the ninth grade boy’s plates before popping it into his mouth without even asking.

It was clear that the bully was challenging the boy. The message was,

“I just took a piece of your lunch. Now, what are you going to do about it?”

Female bullies will often go through their target’s purses or jacket pockets or flip through their notebooks, yearbooks, or diaries. I’ve also heard of bullies walking into their victim’s homes without knocking.

I remember going on a school trip and finding out that my bullies had gone through my luggage and stolen fifty dollars, a dress, and jewelry from me while I was out of the room. Because there were so many bullies, it was difficult for me to confront the thief. Though I had a pretty good idea who stole my belongings, I couldn’t prove she took them!

Understand that bullies will claim ownership of your space and your property, which only means that they believe they own YOU!

4. Bullies will violate your personal space. Bullies are notorious for getting too close.

Understand that when the bully gets in your face or looms you from behind, he is either trying to intimidate you, dominate you, challenging you, or attempting to provoke a fight. Do what you have to do. Tell this idiot to back the hell up!

Understand that these types of bullies have unlimited audacity, and they do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Never ignore them or allow yourself to be intimidated because these kinds of folks will only increase the behavior if you do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Difference between Confidence and Arrogance

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Many people get the two confused. Why? Because they’ve been conditioned to believe that even the smallest shred of confidence is arrogance and that it’s bad.

Sadly, many people are taught by bullies, abusers, or well-meaning people who, themselves were also taught such things and didn’t know better; that confidence, self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are arrogance and they’re bad people for having those treasures. They are also manipulated into believing that they don’t deserve them.

If you were taught this, understand that you were fed lies. Confidence, basic self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are not arrogant, and they aren’t selfish. What they are is essential– essential for good mental health and a good life. They’re crucial for happiness and fulfillment.

 

Realize that when someone attacks your confidence by accusing you of being arrogant or self-centered, it’s not about you. It’s really about them and always has been. Because they only do it to keep you down by making you feel less than them.

They do it because, deep down, they feel small. So, they feel they must push you down into the pits of low self-esteem so they can feel superior. These people, who are bullies, believe they must break your spirit to uplift theirs.

Oh, but wait! Here’s something else to think about here: maybe bullies and abusers drum this garbage into your head because they’re afraid. That’s right!

They’re frightened that if you manage to attain or to keep that precious confidence that you were born with, then you just might grow a pair of coconuts! You’re more likely to develop the spinal column to tell them where they can stick it and drop them like a bad habit!

Realize that this is about power. Moreover, it’s about making sure they keep you in your place, so they don’t risk losing their power over you.

So, what is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Here are your answers:

1. Confidence is healthy. It’s never shy nor boastful. It’s that happy and healthy middle between low self-esteem and smugness. When a person is confident, they don’t have to trumpet their own importance and they don’t have to show off. Confidence isn’t loud or obnoxious, it’s quiet. A confident person doesn’t boast or brag because they don’t have to. They know their value and all the good they bring to this world. They already know their own importance. Confidence is seen and not heard because it’s there.

Confident people believe they’re equal to everyone else. They believe they’re no better than anyone but just as good. They are kind to others and allow them to be themselves and do their own thing. However, a confident person is assertive. They aren’t afraid to set firm boundaries and lay down the law if another person sticks so much as a toe over their boundaries.

2. Arrogance is unhealthy- in fact, it’s toxic! Arrogance is extreme. It’s loud and obnoxious. When a person is arrogant, they’re full of themselves. An arrogant person makes sure that everyone around them knows how important they are because they announce it to the world.

Arrogance is like a peacock; it shows all it’s pretty colors and expects people to notice and give it recognition. Arrogance is boastful because it is insecure, and it craves attention, admiration, and adoration.

An arrogant person believes he’s superior. They treat people they deem inferior like dirt and will go out of their way to bully them and let them know who the king of the mountain is.

An arrogant person either doesn’t recognize boundaries, or he resents them. He believes that he should have carte blanche to violate another person’s boundaries and gets highly pissed if the person he bullies has the gall to stand up to him.

An arrogant person is a self-entitled, egotistical, self-satisfied turd who uses flamboyance to compensate for insecurity, cowardice, and weakness.

A confident person, on the other hand, doesn’t let his confidence effect the way he treats people because he believes that everyone has a right to respect and dignity.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be confident and to be comfortable in your own skin. It’s okay to have respect for yourself and to love yourself. And it’s okay to indulge in self-care and to tell some creep to go to hell if they get abusive with you. So, be confident! Know that you can have confidence without being a pompous stuffed shirt. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well and with love and respect.

With knowledge comes empowerment!