All through life, you will encounter negative and downright toxic people. You meet these mouth-breathers at school, work, the neighborhood, or (gasp) in the family. They’re everywhere and come in all flavors. These kinds of people always seem to take the energy out of the room and suck the oxygen out of the people around them. They’re annoying, obnoxious, and some can be downright intimidating.
These are people who make you feel uncomfortable, terrible about yourself, and worst of all unstable.
With that said, bad eggs are the angry, jealous, and resentful type. They put on a good act and talk a good game, but the proof is in how they treat you. And they will say and do things to try and make you feel bad about yourself.
These people will search for anything about you that they can use against you. They will even turn your good and positive qualities against you and make them seem bad.
For instance, if you are generally a happy person who likes to laugh and have a good time, these types will say that you’re fake and that your laughter is fake. If you have talents and gifts and like to display them, they’ll accuse you of showing off and trying to get attention.
If you’ve made an accomplishment or reached any kind of success, these killjoys will trivialize it by saying that the success you made could’ve been made by anyone. If you won an award, they’ll claim that you didn’t get the award because you either knew people in high places or that you kissed up to them somehow.
If you have a loving spouse and good family, bad eggs will go out of their way to find something wrong with that. If you have a little bit of money, they’ll claim you didn’t work for it but got an inheritance. Or they’ll claim you obtained it either illegally or unjustly.
These rotten bananas will also bully and abuse you- give you a hard time if there’s anything in life you have that they don’t, or you have things just a little bit easier than they do. It’s as if they’re trying to punish you because they think you have it so good.
But don’t let it get to you because that’s what they want. Rest assured that none of it is your fault and that there’s nothing wrong with you.
Understand that their behavior says everything about them and zero about you. It says that they have serious mental issues and that they need help. It also says that these people feel insecure about something or many things in their own lives and their desire is to drag you down in the gutter with them.
When people are brutal to us, our first instinct is to blame ourselves, try to figure out what’s wrong, then fix it. But realize that there’s no need to fix what isn’t broken. And you’re not the one with the issue.
Instead, reframe your thinking and realize that it’s them and not you. Only then will you feel better about yourself. Even better, you might find that you feel sorry for them instead of resenting or hating them for the way they treat you. And believe me, most people with any pride would much rather be hated than pitied.
Bullies will care less about your anger and hate toward them. But they’ll resent and even loathe it when you pity them. There’s dignity in being hated but never in being pitied.
Very true. I resonate. Thanks!
My pleasure, KK!
Hello, Cherie. Trust you’re great. Thank you very much for this post. It spoke to me so deeply. I often felt this way before, that I didn’t deserve anything beautiful or true or new or good or happy, until my mentor helped me shift that paradigm. I could have never been more thankful for it. I started this culture of not seeing myself as the one at fault and it’s been healthy. Sometimes, those trivial things still get to me but your post today was a powerful message that reminded me that I’m not the one at fault just because someone who doesn’t like me said so neither am I to feel sad or apologetic for something I never caused or for a talent I’m blessed with or for my personality.
Thank you.
You’re so welcome! 😊 I’m so glad you found a mentor who helped to re-enforce your sense of self-worth and belief in yourself!
What does breathing through one’s mouth have anything to do with anything, I wonder?
Great question. I attended a public speaking event years ago in college, where a psychologist spoke about the way we breathe. I still remember him quoting,
“When you breathe through the nose, you can live in Heaven. When you breathe through the mouth, you live in hell.”
I’ve since read different articles that confirm this. Breathing through the mouth all the time and never breathing through the nose is connected to moodiness and a negative disposition. Mouth-breather is just slang for miserable person.
Ah. I breathe through my mouth 96% of the time on the bike, so I was curious because I’m a good guy so I wondered how the stereotype fit me in there. Must just be one of those things.
😁😁😁 We all do when we’re doing strenuous activity.
Hehe i Dance in Public Like An 18-Wheeler and MAKE Frowns Smile Happy Bully😝
Thank you for the post! The hardest part in situations like these is to work on yourself, your feelings and belive in yourself again. Our inner peace so fragile and one word can destroy everything. Then you have to convince yourself again….. and again….. This is hard. Thanks again! Very nice post!
You’re so welcome, Angela. And You’re right. 💯