Tag: You’re not a victim

How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

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Do you want to know how to overcome victim mentality? Are you sick of feeling like a victim all the time? Here are the time-tested and proven techniques you can use to shed victim-think and feel much better about yourself.

how to overcome victim mentality

Victim mentality doesn’t serve you. It only drags you down and keeps you there. In fact, victim mentality has a negative effect on all aspects of your life, from relationships and friendships, to business and employment prospects, to finances.

Therefore, as someone who’s been there, I’m giving you all the mind hacks that I and many others swear by.

You will learn all the details on how to overcome victim mentality. These easy mind hacks will boost your confidence and repair your self-esteem quicker than you think.

After you learn all these mental methods, you will be more confident than you ever thought possible. Also, you will be happier, relaxed, and more at peace with yourself.

This post is all about how to overcome victim mentality and will give you all the simple mind hacks that every target of bullying needs to know about.

How to overcome victim mentality

First, let’s discuss why victim-think is so bad for your life.

Now, it’s okay to be angry and to take time out to feel those emotions when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to need time to heal. And I respect that.

However, don’t set up shop and live in that yucky place for long. Because, if you stay there, it will ruin your life.

Understand that holding hate and trying to seek revenge over something that some creep did to you in the past is counterproductive. Moreover, it comes from a victim mentality. It also comes from feeling that the transgressor owes you some form of satisfaction, restitution, or atonement.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. This kind of attitude only makes you miserable.

I want you to realize that a victim mentality is never good because it keeps you trapped in an abyss of anger and hatred. Moreover, spending too much time in this state only leads to depression and poor mental health.

You feel like the world owes you. However, what you don’t realize is that even if the world did give you what you feel you’re owed, you’d still never be happy and you’d only want more, more, and more.

This is why it’s crucial that you know how to overcome victim mentality.

Take it from someone who’s been there. Holding onto resentment and hatred is no way to live. It’s a dark and ugly place to be.

Therefore, I can’t stress how important it is for you to rid yourself of victim-think. It’s the only way you’ll ever reach that beautiful place of self-acceptance and ultimately, peace and happiness. And once you do, it will be such sweet freedom!

You can do this! I’ve got faith in you!

Before we get into the mind hacks, let’s now discuss the benefits you’ll get once you put these mind hacks to practice. Now, one thing you must know is that you can’t one practice them one time and expect to reap the advantages I’m about to spill here.

Once you know these mental training exercises, you must get into the habit of practicing them every day. Then, slowly but surely, you will notice the benefits, and, here they are!

Benefit 1

You’ll no longer feel like you’re less than.

In the past, the bullies in your life may have called you the most horrible names in the English language. Yes, they may have pointed fingers of judgement in your direction. Moreover, they have have ridiculed and smeared you.

Even worse, they may have destroyed your reputation. However, you won’t stay a victim forever because their effects on you won’t last if you don’t allow it to.

Therefore, you’ll discover that you have more control over your circumstances than you know. This new epiphany will cause your self-esteem to soar!

You’ll also realize that you already have within you the delicious power to refuse to let their childish behavior define you. And that you’d had it all along.

You’re a survivor. In fact, You’ll soon find out that you’re more than that!

 You’ll be a winner! Because your bullies and abusers will no longer have the power to make you feel that you’re less than human. No one will have that power but you.

You’ll no longer be a victim because you won’t allow other people’s perceptions of you to determine how you feel about yourself nor define you as a person.

Instead, you’ll know who you are and feel good about it.

You’ll be glad you learned how to overcome victim mentality!

Your bullies and abusers may have taken your confidence away and at times, maybe your physical well-being. But they could never take away your soul! They couldn’t take your integrity, individuality, nor your freedom of thought.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t still be standing.

They couldn’t take any of the things that mattered!

How to overcome victim Mentality: Benefit 2

Another reason you won’t feel like a victim anymore is because you will no longer feel any hate nor any desire to take revenge. Therefore, your energy will better spent on your family, doing what you love to do, and working on yourself.

You’ll be too busy doing you and yours.

Moreover, you’ll look back and be so glad you finally got tired of being unhappy and unfulfilled. You’re eyes will be opened, and you’ll change your way of thinking.

By now, you’re probably thinking, “Okay, okay! Just get to the mind hacks already!”

Here’s how to overcome victim mentality. Finally! The Mind Hacks!

1. refuse to allow bullies from the past to take up space in Your mind

In other words, stop letting them live rent-free in your head. Don’t waste another drop of precious energy on people who were never worth it in the first place.

Know that when you hold grudges, you waste your time thinking about people who probably don’t give you so much as a thought. Why? Because you’re not important to them. Yet you make them important by having them in your head.

You give them power over the way you feel and over your life. Realize that life is too short and you only have one to live. Therefore, stop wasting your time on people who aren’t worth a puddle of pee.

Take your power back and use it to better your own life.

2. How to overcome victim mentality: accept yourself, flaws, quirks, and all.

Put simpler, decide once and for all that you’re okay just the way God made you. Realize that you need no one else’s approval, least of all, theirs!

Why should you care about winning acceptance from anyone else? Decide today that you’re just as important without anyone else’s say so. Who is anyone to decide your worth? Only you can do that. This is how you raise your self-esteem.

3. Make it your mission to love and take care of yourself and the people who truly matter in your life.

And that includes weeding out toxic people who are only there to use you and to see you fail- those who don’t belong in your life.

Also, know that you’re the only one who’s responsible for your life and the outcomes of your situations. No one else is accountable for these things.

4. How to overcome victim mentality: You do it by focusing on things that are important

 Therefore, focus on God, family, your closest friends. Moreover, keep your mind on being the best version of you that you can possibly be. Also, focus on your goals and dreams. Keep your mind on any projects you may be working on or anything you love to do.

In other words, focus on your hobbies and anything that you enjoy doing. Spend time with those who love you most and vise versa. Keep company with those who celebrate you and lift you up while avoiding the creeps who bring you down.

Practice self-care and create as many good memories in your life as you possibly can.

5. Lastly and most importantly, Forgive.

I can just hear some of you now. “Oh, she must be out of her rabid-ass mind!” “She must be stark-raving mad! “No way! They don’t deserve my forgiveness after the hell they put me through!”

And maybe they don’t. But you deserve it.

In other words, you deserve to be able to let go of the pain. You also deserve the freedom and peace that comes after you forgive those who’ve hurt you. Also, you deserve the blessings and good things that follow.

Trust me when I say that forgiveness changes your life for the better. You will see a dramatic improvement in your health, mental and physical.

Moreover, you will also see a significant change in your circumstances. You’d be surprised at the awesome blessings that come your way once you decide to forgive and move on. You will even have success in the things you set out to do and achieve more than you ever thought you would!

Most importantly, you will rise above anything your enemies tried to do to bring you down. And you will frustrate them because they couldn’t keep you down! Yes, that hurts them more than any revenge you could ever take.

It happened for me and it’ll happen for you too. I guarantee it.

This post was all about how to overcome victim mentality so that you can take back your peace and happiness.

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

4. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

You’re a Target but Not a Victim!

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During the last year, an epiphany has occurred to me and I’ve begun to stray away from the word “victim.” More and more, I have replaced that word with the word, “target.” I’ve come to realize that, yes, I was a target but, was I ever a victim?

I want to tell you that if you’re being bullied, could it be that you’re not a victim but a target? And could it be that you’re a target not because you’re weak or inferior, but because you’re a threat? Because your voice and your very being are powerful?  So powerful, it scares them to death?

Believe it or not, being a victim has a lot to do with mindset and words have enormous power- in other words, if you’re a victim, you’re right, but if you’re not a victim but a target, you’re also right. A victim mentality can only bring about more abusers, more abuse, and therefore, more victimhood.

Do you want that?

If you survived bullying, you’re no longer a target. And it could be that you never really were a victim. But you are a victor! That’s right! You’re a winner because you’re an overcomer!

Victim mentality is the downfall of many survivors of bullying. It keeps you down, keeps you defeated, keeps you oppressed, and keeps you a “victim.” This kind of thinking also keeps you dependent. It breeds laziness and the attitude that the world owes you something. Or it leads to resignation, hopelessness, and the attitude of defeat. It’s the root of a condition called, “Learned Helplessness.”

Do you know what’s worse? It also has the undertones that you’re somehow inferior. You’re not!  When you have the victim mentality, you’re afraid of taking back your power because to do so requires personal responsibility.

Taking back your power means that you make your own reality and make your own decisions, your own path, and your own successes, all of which require that you take risks and risk the possibility of failure.  And yes! It’s scary!

You must create your own happiness and whether you know how to do that, the responsibility is still there and always will be.

Again, the victim mentality requires that, subconsciously, you feel inferior and I want you to know with every fiber of your being that, you’re inferior to no one! It dictates that you think that you’re nothing without the consent of another person, entity, or higher power and that’s wrong!

Who is anyone to decide who you are or what you can do?

I’m not a victim. Yes, when I was young and being bullied, I felt like a victim and thought I was. But was I really? Although the memoir about the bullying I endured is entitled, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying), was I really a victim? I’ve come to realize that I was a target. I was never a victim!

I say this because I had the victim mentality when I was young, and it almost ruined my life. Please don’t let it ruin yours. I realize that being a target of bullying is one of the hardest things a person can endure. But one thing your bullies can’t take is your mind unless you allow it. Please don’t allow them to change your thought patterns because that’s what they want and you deserve better- much better!

I was fortunate that my eyes were opened and that I managed to shed negative thinking and adopt a winning attitude. But many victims stay stuck in a self-defeating mindset, continue to have the worst luck, and lose all hope.

In closing, know that no matter how bad things get, there’s always hope. Hold on to it!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

7 Ways to Make Yourself Less a Target

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Before we begin, I want to assure you that the bullying you suffer isn’t your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you, nor did you do anything to bring it on yourself. So, if you feel the title of this post has undertones of victim-blaming, please be assured that you’re not to blame. However, what it does say is that you’re not entirely powerless, which is excellent news! There are ways you can lessen the bullying and make yourself more charismatic.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Practice modesty. Targets of bullying will sometimes incessantly talk themselves up. I completely understand why they do this. When people are always putting you down, sometimes your first instinct is to build yourself back up and make yourself feel better and soothe your battered self-esteem. And understand that sometimes, you have to do this to feel better. However, doing this can make you a bigger target if you aren’t careful.

Never talk about yourself too much, and never try to bring too much attention to what you do. Nobody likes a braggart. And the more you talk about what you’re doing; the more suspicious of you people will be. Even worse, you’ll become a target of backstabbers and people who are jealous! Never toot your own horn. Be modest. Make it about others, not yourself.

2. It’s better to be nonchalant. Make everything you do look effortless.

3. Don’t pour on the flattery. Sometimes, targets of bullying will use excessive flattery to get in their bullies’ good graces, and it never works. I tried it when I was a kid to trick my bullies into leaving me alone. It only backfired. Too much flattery can make things worse because it makes you look like a suck-up. Or, your bullies might think you’re trying to run a con game on them, which will only get them angrier because they take it as your believing they’re stupid. Keep the flattery to a minimum, and for the love of Pete, don’t attempt to flatter the wrong people!

4. Get noticed. But don’t overdo it with being flashy or flamboyant. Sadly, targets of bullying will do anything, and I mean anything to be seen. I can understand because no one wants to be made invisible. But being gaudy will only make you a bigger target, and the last thing you need is to draw even more negative attention to yourself. Subtly create a style all your own.

5. Alter yourself to the people you’re around. But never too much. Keep enough style of your own so you don’t come off as a copy-cat. When you’re a victim of bullying, the last thing you need is for others to brand you a fake.

6. Bring good news. Keep any bad news to a minimum because people will shoot messengers of negativity. And if you’re a target of bullying, people already associate you with enough negativity. Why not shock a few people by bringing positivity?

7. Never criticize. Especially the wrong people. Being critical of others can make you seem like a drama king or queen and can escalate the bullying you suffer.

Doing the above things may not make the bullying stop entirely, but it can dial it down a notch or two. And the less of a target you are, the better!