How to Stop Being a Victim: Ways to Stand Up to Bullies

February 24, 2026January 16, 2026Leave a comment

Want to know how to stop being a victim of bullying? Here are ways you can stand up to bullies and protect your mental and physical health.

Many people, of all ages, are victims of bullying. And they don’t have to be. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop being a victim of bullying.

Once you learn all these crucial steps, you will be a force to be reckoned with. And bullies will think twice before they ever mess with you again.

This post is all about how to stop being a victim of bullying so that you can find your strength and take back your power.

How to Stop Being a Victim

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so good at picking out the right targets? It’s mostly in the body language.

Victim body language is easy to see

The body language that victims display is so easy to spot. However, most people in authority either ignore it or don’t consider it. It is this body language that attracts bullies, users, and abusers!

Bullies can pick up on this body language from a mile away. And they will instantly think, “target!” and take full advantage. Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, you must take steps to correct your body language and start displaying nonverbals that signal power.

It won’t be easy. However, if you want to stop looking like bully bait, you can. I believe in you. All you have to do is catch yourself displaying any of the above nonverbal cues. Then, you can correct it.

How do You Stop Looking Like a Victim?

When you catch yourself slouching, sit or stand up straight. If you see that you’re looking down, hold your head up and look straight ahead.

Also, uncross your arms and legs. Start making eye contact with people. And when people do you wrong, don’t be so forgiving.

Begin seeing your worth and setting boundaries. Lose the sheepish look and replace it with confidence.

Do these things, and your situation will likely improve. Realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself. You have every right to exist!

Things may get worse before they get better. However, it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

How to Stop Being a Victim:

5 Body Language Mistakes You Should Avoid

Human predators are always on the hunt for targets. Therefore, they look for signs in you that scream “victim.”

Bullies will study your body language first and foremost. They also note your emotional reactions to certain stimuli.

In other words, they watch how you handle conflict and adversity. But first things first. Let’s discuss body language you should avoid.

1. Lack of Eye-contact (Looking down or away)

Lack of eye contact signals either dishonesty or a lack of confidence, which is exactly what bullies look for.

Many victims get nervous in social situations. This is understandable. When people have bullied you long enough, you no longer feel safe in social interactions.

Therefore, you often avoid them altogether.

A little nervousness is normal. However, when you’re so nervous that you avoid eye contact with others, bullies will notice. They will select you as a victim.

Moreover, people who aren’t necessarily bullies may mistake you for being deceptive.

Therefore, the best approach is to relax and look others in the eye when socializing. Realize that not everything is about you. The truth is that people are more worried about themselves than they are about you.

Make the interaction about the other person or people in the conversation. Smile. Act confident. Acting confident may seem fake. However, personal experience has taught me that if you act confident, you will soon feel confident.

Confidence is the best way to navigate any social situation. Also, it lessens your chances of attracting bullies.

2. How to Stop Being a Victim:

submissive body language

Avoid poor posture, such as slouching or hunching. Also, people-pleasing is another form of submission (more on that later).

You must stop this behavior right now. Begin standing and sitting up straight. Stop trying to please other people and start meeting your own needs instead.

Remember that you deserve just as much as anyone else to have your needs and wants met. Start working toward your own goals.

3. self-protective behaviors (closed body-language)

Crossing your arms in front of you, crossing your legs signals fear. So is hunkering down into your shoulders and hiding your neck. They are all self-protective behaviors.

Bullies will instantly notice this behavior from a mile away and think, “fresh meat!” when they see it.

Instead, open up and allow yourself to take up some space. Lengthen your neck and hold your head high. Relax. This is how you keep from appearing like a victim.

4. How to Stop Being a Victim:

Having a Sheepish Look On Your Face

That includes downcast eyes, a downcast head, and a bashful look. Again, hold your head high. Look people in the eye and smile. I guarantee you they will appreciate it when you do, and they will think more highly of you.

5. trying to stay motionless to avoid drawing attention

This almost always gets you opposite results. Staying motionless won’t keep you from drawing attention. It just might get you the wrong attention- from bullies.

You must move freely, and I’m going to say it again… relax!

You must watch your body language if you don’t want human predators to spot you as a potential target. If you catch yourself looking down, correct it by making eye contact or looking ahead.

If you catch yourself slouching, sit up straight. And keep doing this until it becomes second nature, no matter how long it takes.

Because body language speaks louder than words ever will. Not only should you mind your own body language, but you should also watch the bullies’ nonverbal cues.

6. People-Pleasing.

Behaviors such as shying away from saying what you want and not pursuing your needs are forms of people-pleasing.

Also, you say yes when you really want to say no. And the reason is that you want to reduce the risk of conflict or to keep the peace.

However, you must realize that if your needs upset the people around you, then it’s time to re-evaluate those relationships.

You might be with the wrong people.

How NOT to be a Victim

1. How to Stop Being a Victim: Say “No.”

In case no one has told you, it’s okay to say no. There will be times when you don’t want to do something. Someone will ask you to do something, and you just don’t feel like doing it.

Maybe you’ve said yes to people for so many years. And now you’re exhausted. All you want to do is rest and have a quiet time.

There’s nothing wrong with saying no. People may not like it. But you need to take care of yourself first.

2. Call them out and tell them to knock it off when they mess with you.

In life, there will be people who provoke you. Realize that you don’t have to stay silent and tolerate their crap.

Tell them in no uncertain terms to knock it off. Call out their behavior. You must show them that you aren’t afraid to stick up for yourself.

3. Look them in the eye.

When someone tries to bully you, you may be tempted to look away. Especially if they have a mean look on their face. However, don’t let them intimidate you.

You must stand up to them. And part of standing your ground is looking the bully in the eye when you tell them to back the hell off.

And when you do, look at them without blinking. Mirror their facial expression. They just might think twice before messing with you again.

4. How to Stop Being a Victim:

Speak in a firm tone.

When you tell a bully to back the hell off, tone will determine whether he takes you seriously. I’ve seen many victims use a high-pitched voice to tell them to step off.

But the bullies only challenged that. Therefore, when you tell someone to get lost, you must do it in a low, firm tone.

And while doing that, you must look at the bully in the eye and stand with power. That means, arms akimbo and feet shoulder-width apart.

Remember that your body-language must match your words. Otherwise, your message falls flat.

5. Don’t back down.

When you stand up for yourself, human predators may view this as a challenge. Therefore, they may push back or double down in their behavior. They may also threaten you with physical violence.

But don’t back down, no matter what they do. Why? Because if you do, you will be telling them what works to subdue you. Then it will be harder to defend yourself the next time.

How to stop being a victim:

In Closing

How you stop being a victim means that you stop giving off that bullied vibe. And how you kill that vibe is by setting boundaries and practicing body language, facial expressions, and a tone that conveys power.

And once you signal power, people are less likely to continue bullying you. You would be surprised at how fast they’ll leave you alone.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

The purpose of this post was to teach you how to stop being a victim so that you can take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying: 13 Subtle Signs to Look for.

2. That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

3. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

4. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

5. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

May 20, 2025May 12, 20251 Comment

‘Want to know how to outsmart bullies in ways they’ll never expect? Here are the sneakiest ways you can do it!

There are ways to outsmart bullies that most people don’t think about.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to outsmart bullies in the sneakiest ways so that you can lure them out in the open and finally expose them for the creeps they are.

Once you learn all these clever tricks, you will be better able to trick your bullies into outing themselves. Moreover, you will not only have the possibility of exonerating yourself and repairing your unfairly ruined reputation, you’ll also be able to defend yourself more effectively.

This post is all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can take back your personal power and your life.

How to Outsmart Bullies

When you trick your bullies, the last thing you won’t to do is to make it obvious. Therefore, here are the sneakiest ways to out your bullies so that you can keep yourself safe while you use your bag of tricks.

1. Draw Your Enemies Out in the Open

We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. However, many are not who they make us think they are.

In life, there will be fakers and imposters. There will be those who infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll figure out everything about you. They’ll suss out your soft spots and most intimate details of your life. T

Moreover, they’ll discover what your goals, dreams and plans are. Then these creeps will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to flush out all the rats? Before we go any further, be forewarned. This won’t be easy.

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief. Here’s what I’m talking about.

How to Outsmart Bullies:

Draw your bullies out by appearing weak.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen. And this is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. No one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when you’re defeated. Moreover, it’s the same even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world.

You’ll be ridiculed, your bullies will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

You can also pull this trick on friends you suspect are fake.

However, this is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing. Why? Because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying.

Very few want to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that. It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king.

But trust me, it is only when you’re at your lowest that you find out who’s really in your corner. And those who aren’t, never were.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your ass, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins. Many will reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect.

Very few people realize who their enemies are until thing get hairy.

How to Outsmart bullies:

When you’re at your lowest, the snakes will shed their skins.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you.

And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being too powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of beforehand.

If you do this right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future. Moreover, you can remove any obstacles to your progress. More importantly, you can make yourself available only to the people who are your tried and true friends.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see what they do.

2. Fake a Surrender.

If your bullies are extremely powerful, it’s best to fake a surrender if you want them to leave you alone. This may not feel good. However, sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first.

Why? Because if you fight back, you might be fighting an unwinnable war. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to do it correctly.

You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor them by fooling them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies love to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be too easy to trick them.

Submitting, for the time being, makes your bullies feel satisfied and powerful. In this, they become easier targets for a later counter-attack.

3. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Use Their Attacks Against them.

You can do this by dragging out the attacks. For example, when they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.”

When you do, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. Therefore, you drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sometimes that’s not wise to do.

This method can be effective in the workplace. However, it’s much harder and usually takes longer to have an effect. Why? Because adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying.

Respond, Don’t React!

This strategy works much better in the school environment. So, respond. But never react.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking defeated. Why?

Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks over a long time. By doing it this way, you force them to wear them out until they get so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing them.

And once people get tired of hearing it, they’ll no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength.

Instead of winning others over to their side, your bullies only alienate them. Why? Because people get bored after hearing the same old shit for so long.

4. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Rattle Your Bullies to Expose Them

Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!

Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Therefore, say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!

They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.

Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug.

Next, they’ll wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think you’re up to something when you act this way.

Also, They’ll go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.

Here’s another possibility. Your bullies may think you’re making fun of them and get super angry. But, all the better for you.

Here’s why:

When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something foolish.

If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people. Then get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone.

Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority! Oops! BUSTED!

Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully by allowing others to see with their own eyes. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon and isn’t criminally violent.

Outsmarting bullies is easy if you know the right tactics to use.

This post was all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can expose them without being obvious and take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

November 25, 2024July 15, 202515 Comments

‘Want to know what you should do if you endure physical bullying. Here are the self-protection measures I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

Being punched, kicked, choked, and shoved plagues millions of victims in school, at work, in the neighborhood, and in the home each year.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the physical bully. Moreover, you’ll discover the mindset behind this kind of abuse.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be better able to protect yourself against them. Here is what you can do if a bully thinks they’re entitled to put their hands on you.

This post is all about physical bullying so that you can know what’s behind it and how to defend against it.

First, let’s learn the exact mindset and motives of this dangerous type of abuse.

The Psychology Behind Physical Bullying

These types of bullies use force because of an inner sense that they otherwise would have no influence over people. When people dare to disagree with, defy, thwart, or worse, ignore them, they automatically think:

“Nobody will listen to me.”
“I can’t get anywhere with anyone.”
“They don’t value me.”
“They don’t respect me.”
“I can’t get any cooperation out of anyone.”
“I can’t get any satisfaction.”

And the list goes on and on…

This causes them to feel weak and defeated. Therefore, they use force and violence to get their point across because it’s the only thing that works for them.

People who use force Are the Weakest of All

However, that is weakness because people only submit because they don’t want the bully to beat them up. In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True persuasion or influence is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum: They either have total control, or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

People who uses Physical bullying often compare themselves with others.

They see themselves as less effective than others when it comes to persuasion and influence. They feel that they’re no good at getting others to cooperate or at being in command of circumstances and situations.

Therefore, in their intense anger and rage, these bullies shift the blame. They shift blame from their own sense of powerlessness to the behavior of their targets.

In other words, hese people then see their targets as their enemies or adversaries. So, they feel that they must punish and destroy these targets.

Using this kind of Violence for Anything Other Than Self-Defense is Weakness.

“(The target) is wrong for defying me.”
“He never listens to me.”
“She never pays attention to me.”
“That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”

When these people shift the blame onto their targets, they are able to blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than sadness and hopelessness.

Again, I want you to realize that this is weakness in and of itself. These individuals may look strong and mighty as they’re beating up on some poor helpless human being. However, what they really are is weak.

In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s simply because they can’t get power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use the fear of physical harm and yes, even murder.

Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm or seductive powers. In other words, they cannot get people to do what they want them to do through the use of persuasion.

those who use physical bullying are No Different Than Rapists

I’ll use rapists as an example: The reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.

Maybe they have no game- they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.

Moreover, they may be creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to them, which means that they are ineffective and powerless.

Therefore, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!

Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. Yes, they may beat the crap out of you, but chances are good that you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.

And your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence, powers of persuasion, and people skills are things they are stuck with- forever!

And if nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use to rely on the school, workplace, and sometimes the law to protect you. You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!

Should you defend yourself from physical bullying by hitting back?

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. The media and politicians vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence.

Moreover, you’ll hear statements from others, such as:

“Be the bigger person and walk away.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right?”

I’ve heard them all.

Using more peaceful solutions, walking away from the bully and reporting it sounds good. However, sometimes peaceful solutions don’t work because they won’t let you be peaceful.

If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bully will only continue to come after you and hurt you. Also, everyone who knows you will see you as a punching bag at school or work and everywhere else.

Why? Because when word gets around that one person can hit you and get away with it, everyone else will think they can too. They’ll peg you as the school or the community whipping boy. That’s no way to live.

In the middle of a physical attack, the last resort is the only option you take.

So, How do you respond to it? here it is:

When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

Make physical bullies Not want to put their hands on you ever again!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable the bully. Additionally, you want to give him such a bad memory that he’ll never even think about coming for you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this, folks! It’s called self-defense!

Again, punch the bully’s lights out! School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore, if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend me, fire me, or take me to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Nevertheless, you may not condone fighting. Although you may need to fight many times in school, you may hate it each time you have to. However, when you’re a 5’4″, 120-pound girl being jumped and most of the time by multiple assailants, it may be your only option.

Also, if you are a small-built male and the attacker is much bigger than you, it’s not the time to play patty-cake. There will be times when you’re boxed in and cannot go anywhere.

When there’s no other choice, it’s either fight or risk your bullies possibly maiming or killing you. Sometimes the last resort is the only way to protect yourself.

You must let the bully know that you’re not the one to mess with and that you aren’t afraid to fight back if necessary.

There will be others who may disagree with this post, and that’s okay. I am very thick-skinned now and rarely do I get offended. I can agree to disagree. But I will do what I have to do to protect my well-being and my life if ever I’m in physical danger.

So, if all else fails, go ahead and whoop that ***!

This post was all about physical bullying and why you should defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

4. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

July 12, 2024August 12, 202416 Comments

‘Want to know what happens when you begin asserting boundaries? Here are both the pros and cons when you establish your boundaries.

Asserting boundaries is so important and if you’re anything like I was at one time, too scared to do it. Then you’re probably wondering what it is that encourages others to stand up for themselves.

As someone who has overcome the fear of establishing personal limits, I’m giving you all the reasons why you should. Also, I’m warning you of all that happens if you don’t.

You will learn about the importance of asserting boundaries. Moreover, you’re going to learn about the positive and negative results of doing do.

Once you learn about all these things, you will be more encouraged and motivated to assert your rights not to be abused. Also, you will be more emboldened to stand your ground for as long as it takes until you are finally free of bullies and abusers.

This post is all about asserting boundaries so that you can take back your personal power and live in peace and happiness.

Asserting boundaries

Here’s how the pros outweigh the cons:

People will accuse you of having “An Attitude”

Many times, when you begin to set boundaries and refuse to lower your standards, others, especially abusive others, will accuse you of having “an attitude.” This is what will happen once you finally take enough abuse and put your foot down and you should expect it.

Understand you will get that response when you either say no to something you don’t like. Moreover, people will give you the same response any time you refuse to be manipulated or to take abuse.

Therefore, it’s better to accept, even embrace, the reality that others will see you as having an attitude when you stand on your principles.

For example, toxic teachers will call you insubordinate. Abusive managers and supervisors will tell you that you’re not a team player. Also, bullying peers will see you as a ‘difficult’ person to be around, and that’s only a very mild version of what they may call you.

Asserting boundaries helps you separate real friends from the fakes.

Understand that anytime you enforce your boundaries and standards, you threaten the power of your bullies and abusers. Furthermore, you expose the manipulative people in your life through the limits you set.

Therefore, you see them more clearly. Why? Because you force them to tell off on themselves through their reactions.

Through having boundaries and standards, you can better tell the difference between real friends and fake ones. In other words, you can better see which people are truly for you and value your friendship. You find out which ones are only in your life because they want something from you. This is one of the most important pros!

bullies and abusers feel they have carte blanche to abuse you

Like all abusers, bullies feel entitled to devalue you and expect you to “just go with the flow” and not object to it. With these types of people, your healthy boundaries and standards are an insult to them. Why? Because they don’t recognize limits.

In their minds, anything goes, and the world and everything in it is one big free-for-all. In other words, any rules, laws, or limits don’t apply to them.

Bullies and frenemies believe they should have carte blanche to treat you any way they choose. They get super offended when you get enough of their abuse and finally have the courage to put your foot down.

Accept that you will lose people you think are friends when you establish boundaries and standards. And they will often be the people you’d never expect.

But realize that these peoples’ condescension and dismissal are only proof of their discomfort and their only recourse. Bullies can’t handle an assertive person of incredible strength because they can never meet them on their level. These are only a few of the cons.

setting limits allows you growth, safety, and freedom

Also, understand that you cannot grow, be safe, or be free if you don’t set boundaries. In many cases, people go out of their way to prevent targets of bullying from imposing any limits.

It seems that boundaries and standards are okay for anyone else but strictly prohibited for targets.

But realize that you cannot continue to live your life as a doormat. Therefore, you must dig deep and pull out the courage to establish your boundaries, which include,

Physical boundaries

Psychological boundaries

Time boundaries

Material boundaries

Intellectual boundaries

Sometimes you must “Cop an Attitude” to defend your rights.

You are a flesh-and-blood human being who has rights! And sometimes, you must “cop an attitude” to defend those rights.

You must enforce your boundaries from relentless bullies and others who won’t take no for an answer. Also, you must set consequences for those who continue to violate your boundaries after you’ve told them to stop it.

When you set firm boundaries and standards and enforce them, you protect your physical well-being, emotional health, self-esteem, and identity from anyone who seeks to destroy them.

Moreover, you make yourself an individual human being who asserts your right to make your own choices and decisions.

Your boundaries and standards are the invisible fortresses surrounding you with protection. They keep you safe from harm.

When you set boundaries, it means that you don’t allow others to take advantage of you. It also means that you refuse to be a pushover.

In other words, you won’t let other people make you do things that aren’t in line with your goals, values, morals, or convictions. In short, you don’t allow others to manipulate you.

And it requires that you call out anyone who tries to stick so much as a toe over those boundaries.

Be Assertive but not aggressive. Be strong but not overbearing.

You’re assertive but not overly aggressive. You’re strong but not overbearing. When you say no, you mean it, and you say it without feeling guilty over not saying yes.

And when you do say yes to others, you can do it without saying no to yourself.

Sadly, it can be hard to set boundaries and standards, especially when dealing with overly-aggressive bullies who have anger issues. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves any way we can- even if it means we must appease these people to ensure our safety.

Many targets have zero boundaries. They feel that to keep bullies from causing further harm, they must always bend over backward to make sure the people around them feel comfortable and at ease. You should never feel you must live this way!

But here’s the positiive side. Assertiveness builds courage and, with it, your self-esteem.

Not asserting boundaries works only temporarily because bullies and abusers always come back for more.

Many targets don’t feel strong enough to keep invaders out of their bubble. And it’s because of this that they feel like they’ve let themselves down because they didn’t stand up to their abusers.

Moreover, they feel like failures when they’re unable to enforce their boundaries and standards. I’ve been there and, let me tell ya! It’s the worst feeling in the world.

I want you to understand that, no matter what others may tell you or how they may act, it’s okay to refuse their disrespect. It’s okay to say no to bullying.

Know that you owe it to yourself to say stop to those who insist they have the right to cross your boundaries and invade your space. You have every right to disallow others to disrupt your peace. Know that you deserve a seat at the table of life, not one in the corner.

Realize that setting boundaries and standards is not having an“attitude.” It’s your right!

You must accept that toxic people will put up a ton of resistance to any limitations you set in place. Therefore, take this as a given!

The upside is that the resistance you get will give you clues to who your real friends aren’t.

**Resistance is soooo telling! It can help you find out who’s really for your good and who isn’t.**

It’s never smart to be a yes-person. Caring about others is great but caring too much is unhealthy.

You need boundaries and standards because, without them, you subject yourself to living your life on autopilot. Put simpler, you’re a car without a steering wheel- a ship without a rudder!

But with boundaries, you have a rudder, and you can chart your life’s course. The winds and currents may change, and the waters might get rough. You may even go off course, but you’ll still have some degree of direction.

In setting boundaries and standards, you’re not completely powerless over what happens to you. You have some say over your destiny.

That’s why it’s crucial that you stand in your power and speak your truth. Never lower yourself and make yourself less than the awesome person you are. Never settle for less than what you want and deserve.

Put yourself first. Stop being a people pleaser. Stop putting your wants and needs on the back burner to keep others satisfied. Practice self-love and self-care.

Accept that people won’t handle it well and be willing to let them go because they don’t deserve a seat at your table. Once you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much better life gets and how many people of integrity and sound quality come into your life.

This post was all about pros and cons of asserting boundaries and how doing so can help you take back your personal power and your say in your life’s direction.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

6. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

April 23, 2024September 18, 202516 Comments

Do you want to know about setting boundaries and how it can improve your life and your relationships? These powerful practices have changed my life and they will change yours too.

When you’re too afraid to set boundaries, you hand over your power. In that, you doom yourself to a life of use and abuse. But once you lose that fear and begin taking control of your life, I can attest that things will make a dramatic change for the better.

You are going to learn about the importance of setting boundaries and the best practices you can use to do so.

After you learn about all these practices and techniques, you will no longer be afraid to hold your ground when people try to push your limits. Even better, you will take back control of your life!

This post is all about the best ways of setting boundaries that every victim of bullying should know and use.

3 Best ways of setting boundaries

1. If someone violates your boundaries, speak up.

In other words, tell the person to stop and use body language to convey that you mean it. For instance, you could put your hand out like a traffic cop as you tell them to stop. This is good because it will most likely shock the bully.

You lack boundaries because you have low self-esteem. Know that you have a right to establish limits with bullies. And how you do that is to speak up when they cross the line.

However, if they keep it up, raise your voice and tell them, “I said stop it, now!” And when you say it, say it confidently and firmly while looking the bully in the eye and giving him a hard glare. Also, make a power pose (hands on hips and feet shoulder-width apart).

The last thing you want to do is to sit or stand in silence and say nothing. You must let the bully know that you aren’t one who will put up with them.

Remember that, In today’s world, bullies and abusers are everywhere and they will violate your boundaries if you allow them to.

Also, remember that bullies don’t respect boundaries because they don’t acknowledge them. In their minds, you’re the victim and you don’t deserve the same human rights as everyone else.

Sadly, many victims of bullying don’t have the confidence they need to set boundaries. They only keep their mouths shut, grin, and bear it while others wipe their feet on them.

Consequently, this only damages self-esteem and overall mental health. Just as you would protect your physical boundaries, you must also protect your psychological and emotional boundaries as well.

It’s your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s

It isn’t your fault if you’re a target or victim. However, at some point, you will need to make a stand. Do you want to spend your whole life being someone’s footstool?

Don’t continue to suffer in silence and obscurity. You should never allow people to use you as a rug. Realize that if people are bullying you, it is your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s.

Yeah, I know you look at schools everywhere and see anti-bullying policies on their websites and “Stop Bullying” posters on their walls in the hallways. Workplaces even have their own policies against bullying.

But the reality is that most anti-bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. Why? Because people in authority rarely enforce those policies. Also, in most cases, the institution will only take the bullies’ side over yours. It happens all the time.

That’s why I stress that if a person is being bullied, it’s their responsibility to put a stop to it.

I understand that setting boundaries is not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

That’s no way to live. So, again tell the person to stop while using body language and facial expressions that match your words. You’ll be glad you did!

2. Setting Boundaries:

Say “No.”

And mean it. Put simpler, if someone asks or tells you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, say, “no.” Then, back it up by refusing to do it.

“No” is a tiny word but has huge power behind it.

However, many of us were raised to believe that saying “no” is rude, self-centered and disrespectful.

Many of us grew up during a time when children automatically owed anyone over the age of eighteen respect. It didn’t matter whether or not the adult was being fair. Neither did it matter if they were self-serving and out to harm us.

Nevertheless, the adults in our lives often forced us to say yes. Abusive ones conditioned us to go against our own rights and welfare, or risk worse punishment.

It was “obey, or else.”

As a result, they ended up molding us into spineless adults. We get used and abused by partners, family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

Why? Because, in the past, we were duped into believing that saying yes to everything everyone asks (or demands) means that we’re “good people.” We got the message that being agreeable shows that we’re being “respectful” and that we have “a good attitude.”

Only we ended up learning the hard way that it’s the exact opposite- what it really means is that we become easy targets for human vampires, leeches, and predators.

Therefore, you must stop being too nice and start setting boundaries!

“No” is not an easy word to say.

“No” is not an easy word to say, especially to bullies and abusers. Why? Because they despise it when you tell them no and, chances are that they will become enraged and retaliate.

However, realize that the offense these people take comes from insecurity and the feeling of rejection. It also comes from feeling entitled. This is why they take being told “no” so personally.

However, you must hold firm even if they retaliate, and even if they use tactics of emotional manipulation, such as guilt-tripping. Know that any indignation or anger the other person feels and displays is NOT your responsibility OR your problem.

Don’t cave in and eventually, they’ll give up and go find another stooge.

3. when someone physically attacks you, defend yourself.

To put it bluntly, if someone physically attacks you, you are well within your rights to haul off and punch them back. And when you do, do it with all your strength and make sure to go for that booger box. Hitting a bully in the nose will stun them. Then, when the bully is stunned, unload on them.

Physical violence should be a last resort after all else has failed, that much is true. However, it becomes necessary when someone is physically attacking you and the situation calls for self-defense.

Whether or not to hit back is the question on every bully target’s mind these days, especially in today’s climate of political correctness that we find ourselves in. Politicians, the media, and movies vehemently suggest not fighting violence with violence. You’ve probably heard statements such as:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.”
And,
“Be the bigger person and walk away.”

However, what if your bully won’t let you be the bigger person? What if your bully has you cornered and you can’t walk away? What do you do then?

Also, what would the person making the statements above do? Obviously, they’re not the one who’s bullied and facing a possible beat down. Therefore, what right do they have to make such statements?

Don’t you just love it when those who know so little talk so much, giving you all this free advice?

speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Furthermore, bullies don’t understand nonviolent means. They don’t understand talking it out, reasoning, politeness, and diplomacy. The only language they understand is brute strength and raw power.

Therefore, you speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

You throw up your dukes and punch the bully’s lights out. Remember, this isn’t about a competition of “Who’s the Toughest Kid on the Block.” It isn’t about any pissing contest.

What it’s about is protecting yourself. It’s about keeping someone else from harming you and it’s also about safeguarding your physical health and well-being.

Also, it may be about survival. I can’t count the stories I’ve read about school fights where bully victims have been beaten to death. These days, there are countless news stories about bullies murdering their victims during a fight.

So, why just let another person use you as their personal punching bag and leave everything up to chance? If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bullying will only get worse until it gets out of control.

When You Begin Setting Boundaries, Amazing things happen!

You get to know yourself better
Your self- esteem improves drastically
Toxic people slowly disappear from your life
Your overall mental health improves
You’re more selective of who you allow in your life
You have more time for your own priorities
You’re more determined not to go back to BS

If you still setting boundaries hard to do, here are a few affirmations to put you at ease.

1. I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.

2. I have a right to say “no” without guilt.

3. Setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect.

4. Setting boundaries is an act of love.

5. It’s okay for me to take care of my needs first.

6. I am allowed to walk away from toxic people.

7. I have a right not to tolerate bullying and abuse.

8. I am worthy of love and respect.

9. I will not apologize for refusing to be used.

10. I am just as good as the next person.

11. I am not responsible for other people’s feelings.

12. I am allowed to exclude people who don’t value me.

13. I am allowed to defend myself when necessary

14. It is okay to love myself.

This post was all about setting boundaries to help you gather the courage to stand your ground when dealing with bullies and human predators.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

3. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

self-defense, hanging pair of boxing gloves

Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

April 16, 2024October 23, 202517 Comments

Want to know the best methods of defending yourself from bullies that every victim of bullying should know? These are the successful defense tactics you need to know about.

Defending yourself from bullies can be terrifying and if you’re anything like me, you’re researching ways to protect yourself properly. Having once been right where you are now, I’m giving you the most successful self-protection techniques you need to know and that I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

You will learn all about defending yourself from bullies, using best remedies that I and several other targets have taken to free ourselves from bullying once and for all.

After learning about all these strategies, you are going to be able to successfully counter your bullies’ attacks and take back control over your life.

This post is all about defending yourself from bullies, providing you the steps that every young victim of bullying must know.

Defending yourself from bullies and how you do it.

1. Know Your enemy.

This requires that you stand back and OBSERVE the people around you but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this.

This is how you find out who the trouble makers are. If you see another person gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure they will do the same to you. This is how you avoid bullies and save yourself a ton of drama.

2. Document everything!

Defending yourself from bullies also demands that you keep a journal and write down every bullying incident. Documenting each and every occurrence serves two purposes:

a. It establishes a written record, which is evidence that is admissible in court in case you decide to sue for damages.

b. Also, it allows you to keep everything organized and explain your side of the story in a clear and intelligible manner. In other words, it keeps you from rambling when reporting the bullying to a school official or company manager.

Always record the incidents using the 5-W method (What, Who, When, Where, Why, and sometimes How). In other words, you must write down the names of not only your bullies, but anyone present when the altercation took place.

Write down what happened and, include the names of authority members (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time of the incident.

You should also record the date and exact time. Very important!

Don’t forget to jot down where it happened. what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!!

There will be more on the 5-W method of documentation in a future post.

3. Defending yourself from bullies means that you Don’t reveal any information about yourself that you would not want to be told.

Never share anything private about yourself to anyone, including your friends. In other words, your business is your business and no one else’s.

Besides, you never know if your friend has another friend who is either your enemy or is somehow closely connected to one of your bullies. Also, if you are the target of bullies, you can be sure that your bullies will, at some point, either try to pry information about you out of your friends or they will turn your friends against you altogether.

Therefore, keep your private business to yourself.

4. Keep a low profile.

Don’t do anything that may undue attention to yourself. Also, stay away from places the bullies may gather.

Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

Lastly, know that avoiding toxic bullies is not cowardice, it’s smarts.

5. Save any threatening texts, emails, and/or voice mails for evidence.

if possible, set your cellphone to record during any altercation brought on by a bully, provided it is hidden in your pocket. You certainly do not want the bully to know what you are doing.

Furthermore, keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language. The last thing you want is to give your bullies ammunition to do the old DARVO switcheroo and make you out to be the bully.

If you happen not to have a cellphone, keep a digital recorder handy (if possible) and be ready to record as soon as the torment starts.

However, before you record the bullying, make absolute sure you know the laws in your state concerning recordings. In some states, recording of others are against the law and your bullies would love nothing more than to have an excuse to sue you.

Again, make sure you get abreast to the laws in your state!

6. Defending yourself from bullies also means to never brag about any evidence you have against your bullies.

It just isn’t smart. Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends.

Moreover, they can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information. Don’t do it!

Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

7. Call the bully out in front of an audience, especially those in authority.

This is risky and could bring retaliation later. However, the bullies will also know that you are on to them and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone.

This happened for me on a few occasions. However, keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone.

Calling the bullies out in front of people can also have the opposite effect. Bullies absolutely despise humiliation, especially by anyone they deem inferior and they will only be that much more determined to get you.

So, pick and choose your battles wisely. Access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this.

8. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

Defending yourself from bullies doesn’t only take physical strength, it takes a lot of mental toughness as well. When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for lies and name-calling your bullies try to bombard you with.

Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself or to cause you to make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel happier and most alive.

9. be okay with who you are.

This is, perhaps, the most fundamental rule of all because, when you aren’t comfortable with yourself, you will be least likely to defend yourself. Realize that you are perfect just the way The Creator made you.

However, don’t confuse low self-esteem with the desire to improve yourself. Know that it’s okay if you strive for self-betterment.

We all have goals and aspirations. That goes for you, me, and everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and everyone else is putting you down. In other words, no matter what they say or how they act toward you, do not, under any circumstances, lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it.

The trick is to practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

10. walk away from All toxic people

Toxic people, AKA bullies, abusers, users, and losers, serve no purpose but to bring you down and keep you there. These people can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults, guilt trips, or gaslights you does not deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments your way.

You’ll be much happier and at ease without them in your life. You’d much rather be alone than with people who make you feel like you don’t belong. So, be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

11. If a bully physically attacks you, hit them back.

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. “Should I hit back if one of my bullies hits me?”

My answer is, “‘Damn right you should!

Although the media, politicians, and even big-name celebrities and influencers vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence, should you actually listen to them?

You hear school officials, managers, police personal, and others in positions of authority make statements, such as:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.”

And the all-time favorite,
“Be the bigger person and walk away.”

**But what if one of your bullies won’t let you be the bigger person and walk away? Then, what?**

Understand that bullies don’t understand politeness, civility, nor diplomacy. The only language they know is raw power and brute strength. Therefore, when a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable your attacker. Additionally, you want to give them such a bad memory that they’ll never even think about laying so much as a finger on you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this. It’s self-defense and you’re well within your rights to defend yourself when someone attacks you.

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock their block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body.

Your counter punch should be so hard that you knock the bully down and they have difficulty getting back up. Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once they get up, the person will charge you!

Again, self-defense is not a crime, it’s a right when a bully attacks you.

This post was all about defending yourself against bullies to help you ensure your safety and peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

4. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying