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how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

bullying and psychological effects in children

Bullying and Psychological Effects: 10 Emotions Victims Feel

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‘Want to know all the bullying and psychological effects? Here are all the emotions that come with being a victim of bullying.

bullying and psychological effects

Bullying and psychological effects are closely related. Targets go through so many raw emotions. They go from anger, to sadness, to hopelessness and so much more.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the emotions victims feel so that you can know what you’re feeling and know when to get help.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to better take care of yourself.

This post is all about bullying and psychological effects so that you can show yourself compassion and get profession help when you need it.

Bullying and Psychological Effects

If you’re a victim of bullying, here are all the emotions you’ll likely feel so that you can understand what you’re feeling and why. Self-knowledge is one of the steps to overcoming bullying.

Emotions Victims of Bullying Feel

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend. Unless they have experienced bullying, others won’t understand what it does.

It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it. The psychological effects cannot be underestimated!

1. Grief

Once bullies select you as their object of bullying, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get things back to the way they were.

You also grieve the loss of the dignity and respect you once had. Moreover, you mourn the loss of your reputation and good standing. In fact, you’ve lost your entire identity.

You grieve for your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family. There’s nothing worse than to endure grief over a loved one who’s still alive.

2. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Bewilderment

You don’t understand why this is happening to you. You can’t fathom why people are bullying you because you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

You’re shocked that people you love and who you thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred.

In your heart, you know that you’re a great person. You’re fully aware of the good you bring to this world.

3. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Confusion

You don’t know which way to turn. Who do you turn to? How do you remedy the situation? Each time you do something to make things better, the bullying only intensifies. Therefore, you feel stuck!

4. Terror

Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak.

Moreover, you’re frightened of the people around you. You’re scared to make any moves or decisions. Why? Because you know that people will scrutinize anything you do.

They’ll only see it in a negative light. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know what’s waiting for you when you get there.

You know that none of it is just your imagination. They’re all out to get you and if you show up, they’ll only blindside you with another bullying attack.

5. Sadness

You cry in your car to and from your school or your job. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed.

It seems that no one will give you a chance. Therefore, you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene.

They turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness you feel is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Depression

Depression is the lowest point bullying can drive you to. Why? Because it comes from feelings of powerlessness. When you think that you have power over nothing, it’s as if your life has been set to autopilot.

Therefore, you feel like a leaf being blown around in the wind. This is the epitome of hell on earth. Why? Because it seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. It’s the feeling of being bound and gagged.

Bullying makes you feel trapped like a rat. And there’s nowhere to go where the bullies won’t find you. Therefore, it seems that things will never get better.

When you’re depressed, you don’t fight back because you’re exhausted from all the bullying you’ve endured. Therefore, you resign yourself after so long.

After bullying has knocked you on your ass enough times, you want to give up. However, it’s not that you want to quit, you only want a break from the bullying.

Moreover, you want to feel some semblance of peace. You want to rest because you’re so damn tired!

Depression Also Comes from Exhaustion.

Therefore, you lose the will to fight.

This is why bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Understand that when you’re depressed, they’ve already diminished you. Therefore, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

They’ve already accomplished that mission. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep you down. After all, it’s much easier to keep someone on their knees than it is to bring them to their knees.

In other words, it’s always easier to maintain something than it is to change it.

If this describes you, don’t lose hope! Know that things will get better and you will heal. You many need lots of therapy, but you can regain their confidence and feel good again.

Moreover, you can take your life back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, know that there are people who care. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

7. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Rage

This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion you can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows.

Therefore, it festers until you just want to rip the bullies’ heads off and shove them up their butts. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you. It gives you such evil thoughts!

If you aren’t careful, the bullying can make you feel homicidal! In other words, you’ll loathe your bullies so intensely that you’ll just want them all to drop dead.

But please! Use your brain. Don’t allow yourself to snap and take any lives. Instead, think about your future. Moreover, think about the consequences you’d face.

The bullying you suffer will only last for a little while. Therefore, your bullies aren’t worth you ruining your future.

Also, they’re not worth the pain you’d cause the people who love you. Rest assured that, eventually, a door will open for you. And you will be able to transfer to a new school or job where things will be so much better.

8. Suicidal thoughts

It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop. Therefore, when the torture reaches a certain level, death seems to be the only escape.

These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. However, don’t give up.

As long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change. If you hang tough, things will get better and you’ll come out victorious on the other side of it.

I want you to know that if you suffer bullying, things may seem hopeless but they aren’t. Things are going to change for the better. And it will happen when you least expect them to.

9. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

shame

Bullying comes with a high level of shame. Bullies can ritually torment you to the point that you may begin viewing yourself through their eyes.

Toxic shame is, perhaps, the worst effect of bullying. Why? Because once you begin seeing yourself through the eyes of your abusers, that’s when you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

Your abusers’ contempt, disgust, and aversion toward you have rubbed off on you. Therefore, you began to hate yourself.

But I want you to understand that this is what your bullies want. They want you to hate yourself. Because the bullies know that once they finally get you to hate yourself, they’ve won.

Your bullies aren’t dimwitted. They know that you’ll submit to the abuse because when a person hates themselves, they think they deserve abuse.

When a target of bullying suffers from toxic shame, they accuse themselves of sins of which they aren’t guilty. They apologize incessantly over things that aren’t their fault. Ultimately, targets feel guilty for merely existing!

There, you must fight like the devil to keep your self-esteem and confidence. Educate yourself on the psychology of bullies and bullying. Then, you will have the knowledge to empower yourself.

10. You Grow Numb to the bullying

Some people endure bullying and gaslighting for so long they seem to grow accustomed to it. Therefore, they become emotionally numb.

This is one of the most heartbreaking effects of bullying. When the bullying has gone on for so long that the attacks don’t even hurt anymore. You may think you’ve finally toughened up.

However, here’s what’s really happening here. You’ve gotten so used to the torment that the more subtle attacks no longer sound cruel.

Now, some people think that targets are better off when they no longer realize they’re being bullied. But are they really?

In some instances, yes, and in others, no. If you don’t react because you don’t know to, some bullies will get bored with the lack of response and leave you alone.

But others will only bully you worse.

Either way, there comes a point when the target just says, “F it!” and doesn’t care anymore. In order to survive and keep your sanity, sometimes it becomes a necessity not to give a damn until you can find a way out.

The effects of bullying are no joke and you shouldn’t take them lightly. So, get wise to your bullies’ mind games.

I can’t stress this enough! Things may seem utterly hopeless now but it won’t always be this way. This is the time to dig in your heels and fight to keep your self-esteem intact. Whatever you do, don’t give up!

Look to the future because you never know what tomorrow will bring! Things eventually improved for me. And they will for you too.

Know that one day, you’ll finally live in peace.

This post was all about bullying and psychological effects so that you’ll recognize them and do what you must to keep your sanity and heal from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

having the courage to be disliked reddit

Having the Courage to be Disliked: 7 Reasons to be Okay with It

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‘Want to know the importance of having the courage to be disliked? Here’s why it’s important and why it’s a part of standing up for what’s right and for your rights.

having the courage to be disliked

Many victims of bullying lose lots of friends because of the bullying they suffer. Many of them begin bending themselves into a pretzel just to get people to like them. This only further alienates them from others.

Therefore, in this post you will learn why having the courage to be disliked is the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be okay with it when people dislike you. Moreover, you will be more choosy of the people you allow into your life.

This post is all about the courage to be disliked so that you can feel better about yourself even when a few others don’t like you.

Having the courage to be disliked

Being disliked is not the end of the world. Life is not a popularity contest and there will be those who just don’t like you. And that’s okay.

Here are all the reasons you should be okay with people not liking you.

1. Like is Subjective. Not Everyone You Meet is Going to Like You

Not everyone is going to like you. Some may even hate you. But remember this! It’s their problem, not yours.

And this goes no matter who you are. Even famous people have others who dislike them. Therefore, it doesn’t matter how talented or famous you are. An estimated 10-35% of the people you know will not like you.

Nevertheless, you must always stay true to yourself. Stay true to your beliefs, and convictions. Moreover, continue to use your God-given talents to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be.

 And know that if you don’t have enemies, then you’re doing something wrong.

Again, celebrities, politicians, and athletes have people who dislike them. This alone should be proof that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

So, feel good about yourself. Embrace all your flaws. Appreciate the people who love you. Let love in and let yourself shine!

Having the Courage to Be Disliked:

2. Opinions are like elbows.

Opinions are pinions. Nothing more. And they’re a dime a dozen. Therefore, don’t let other people’s negative opinions get under your skin. If you do, you’ll only allow their opinions to control you. As a result, you’ll only give them your power.

But once you finally begin seeing your worth, you’ll realize that you’re better off without those people. Therefore, ask yourself these questions:

  • “Have any of these people even reached my level?”
  • “Do their opinions even matter?
  • “Who are they that I should even care?”

They don’t know you on a personal level. Moreover, they aren’t your family nor your closest friends. Therefore, the weight you give to any opinion should depend on who holds it and the relationship you have with them.

If you’re a target of bullying, you should have the same attitude. Realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. Moreover, their words mean nothing.

In order to be offended by what another person thinks, you must first value their opinions. And that means, you must first value them.

3. The Value you Give to someone’s Opinion Depends on Who they Are and how close you are to them.

Realize that some people’s dislike or hatred only comes from a place of ignorance. Or, it may stem from bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity.

Therefore, take it with a grain of salt. Only value the opinions of those who know you. That means, those of God and your closest family members and friends.

Again, to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. And for someone to piss you off or hurt your feelings, you must value them to some degree. I can’t stress this enough.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving your bullies the value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them your power.

Always be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Also, have your own preferences and make your own choices. Do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

4. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

No two people are the same.

Stop worrying about who does or doesn’t like you.

No two people have the exact likes, dislikes, tastes, or opinions. Therefore, their dislike bears no reflection on you. We all move in different circles and directions.

It’s just how life works and how we’re all made.

Continue to love and embrace yourself as the person God created you to be. Continue to enjoy the friends and loved ones you do have and never mind the people you don’t have. They aren’t important.

Embrace your differences because no two people are the same. Accept every flaw and quirk you have. Above all, accept no one’s ignorant, cookie-cutter version of what you should be.

Moreover, imagine how utterly and downright boring life would be if we were all the same. Imagine a world full of white people, black people, or Hispanics. Or a world full of people with blonde hair and blue eyes or dark hair and dark eyes!

It would be like living in a town where all diners were pizza parlors and served pizza but nothing else. Yuck! I love pizza, but I wouldn’t want to eat that every day!

Therefore, love being different. Know that there are people who love you and are begging to spend time with you. And above all else, know that God loves you.

5. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

They Do Not Define you.

Bullies may think they know you and they may attempt to define who you are. But only you know the definition of who you are. By trying to tell you who you are, your bullies attempt to force you to replace your definition of yourself with theirs.

Moreover, they try to play God.

Also, your bullies also want to force you to deny your beliefs and convictions. In that they try to convince you to deny yourself.

They want you to think that what they did to you was all in your mind. Your bullies want you to live in a world of make-believe.

However, understand that to accept someone else’s definition of you, you must first discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

Also, little by little, you lose the awareness of your emotions each time we allow them to do it. Then, eventually you grow numb.

Some Things are off-Limits!

For example, when you cry about a legitimate hurt that cuts you to the core, bullies will often invalidate the pain you feel by replacing it with their perceptions of it.

They do it by making these biting statements.

  • “It isn’t that serious!”
  • “You’re too sensitive!”
  • “Oh, boo-friggin-hoo! You’re just a little cry baby trying to get attention!”
  • “Grow up!”
  • “Put your big-girl panties on!”
  • “Get over it!”

Understand that when you feel sadness, you feel sadness. When you’re angry, you’re angry. Therefore, you should allow yourself to feel those emotions. No one has a right to tell you how to feel. Ever!

6. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

No one can tell you how to feel.

In making these types of statements and accusations, bullies cause many victims to feel guilty for being a person. However, realize that bullies don’t see you as a person.

In other words, they don’t consider you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and convictions of your own. They see you as an abject – a robot they can control.

Bullies don’t see you as an independent and separate being. They see you as a subject who’s only here for their purpose, pleasure, and entertainment.

Therefore, in their minds, your sole purpose on earth is to make them feel powerful. Nothing more. So, instead of allowing you to own your truth, bullies will tell you what your truth should be. And they’ll force-feed it to you by cramming it down your throat.

Therefore, this is the kind of response you should expect from bullies.

7. You have a right to be your own person.

If you’re not careful, you’ll allow their statements to overtake you. In that, you’ll allow their perceptions to replace yours.

You’ll begin to see yourself through their eyes. And you’ll slowly lose sight of yourself until you don’t know who you are anymore.

Even worse, you’ll lose your intuition in bits and pieces. Eventually you won’t know when to protect yourself, because you’ll grow numb to the abuse.

Realize that this is how bullies and abusers train you not to defend yourself. And once they do, they then have you right where they want you.

This is how bullies slowly brainwash you to accept bigger abuses.

Having the Courage to be Disliked:

Never allow your bullies to destroy what matters.

Understand that you must muster the strength to withstand your bullies’ attacks. Do all you can to maintain your sense of self and refuse to accept your bullies’ definitions of you.

Never allow others to trick you into believing that they know you better than you know yourself. The truth is that you know yourself better than anyone else in the entire world.

Why? Because you’re the only one other than God who lives inside you.

However, realize that bullies are persistent. Therefore, you must maintain clarity of who you are. Your beliefs, convictions, likes, dislikes, preferences, authenticity, autonomy, and your ability to decide when something doesn’t feel good all add up to equal your truth.

Your self-definition, sense of self, self-belief, autonomy, confidence, self-esteem are like precious gems. Therefore, you must guard them against thieves who wish to take them.

And you do it by refusing to accept other people’s opinions of you. You do it by realizing that you don’t need everyone to like you. So, hold onto your self-respect.

This post was all about having the courage to be disliked so that you can maintain your confidence and save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

The Importance of Confidence

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‘Want to know the importance of confidence and how it can change your life? Here are reasons why you should always have it so that you can stand up to bullies and live a more rewarding life.

the importance of confidence

Confidence is the most important characteristic you can ever have, not only during school to ward off bullies, but all through life. It doesn’t matter how smart you are or how high your grades are.

Moreover, you can have five PhDs and be the smartest person on the face of the earth. But if you don’t have confidence, you will not be able to effectively communicate nor interact with people. Your social/people skills will be lacking and you won’t get anywhere in life.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the importance of confidence and what a difference it makes in your life.

Once you learn all about this important face of life, not only will you have the strength to ward off bullies, but you will also have power you never thought possible. Moreover, you’ll achieve much more in life.

This post is all about the importance of confidence and why you need it more than degrees so that you can keep bullies away and be a winner in the social arena and at life.

The Importance of Confidence

Whether you choose to believe it, the reality is that other people really do have control over whether we succeed or fail in life. In other words, people are the gatekeepers to our success and if you think otherwise, you are only fooling yourself.

For example, you can’t get that high position you want without being selected for the job by another person- the interviewer, who could be the owner of the company, an HR manager, or supervisor.

Moreover, during school, the vast majority of teachers and professors are honest and grade students fairly. Moreover, they usually do it regardless of how they may feel about the individual.

However, it still isn’t unheard of for a student to receive a failing grade solely because the instructor didn’t like them. It does happen, though not often.

Confidence= great people skills= charm= great friends and connections= success!!! Great people skills will always trump smarts, good grades, high marks, and college degrees! Always!

Confidence or Lack of it is something others notice right away.

Confidence, or lack thereof, is something that people notice right away when they meet you for the first time. When you walk into a job interview and meet your interviewer, he is going to notice right away whether you are confident in yourself.

And if you’re not, chances are very unlikely that you will get hired for that esteemed position that you have been coveting. The reason for this is that if you’re not confident in yourself, how then can you expect others to be confident in you?

Therefore, make no mistake about it. Confidence is the number one ingredient in all areas of your life.

The Importance of Confidence:

Confidence is the first trait others look for.

It’s the first trait that potential employers look for in prospective employees. Moreover, it’s the first thing companies and business notice in associates and prospective customers.

Also, every day people look for it in potential friends and dates. Confidence levels are things everyone looks at unless they are so low on confidence themselves that they can’t afford to be the least bit selective.

This is why you must never let a bully take away your confidence. If another person has already taken it away, you must fight like the devil to get it back.

But how do you do this?

You do this by surrounding yourself with people who love you and lift you up. Also, you do it by doing the things you enjoy and are good at.

There are many ways you can regain your confidence. You can display your talents. Taking care of yourself and taking pride in your appearance also boosts confidence levels.

Therefore, do all you can to raise your confidence. only then will you begin to see your worth and add value to yourself.

However, if a bully steals your confidence, they also steal your potential for success and a happy  and productive life. In short, they steal your future.

Bullies are confidence thieves! Therefore, never surrender your confidence to anyone! This brings me to Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said it best when he made this quote:

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

How right he was!

The Importance of Confidence:

Self-confidence is THE key ingredient that everyone must have to succeed in life.

Why? Because, when you have it,

  • you have better and more fulfilling relationships
  •  you are more successful in school and in your career.
  • You have more dates, friends, are more likely to have a great marriage and raise confident and successful children.

Confidence doesn’t mean perfection

A perfectionist isn’t a confident person and has to work so much harder just to go through life. A perfectionist is insecure with herself and others.

Moreover they focus on themselves than in others and is always worried about what others may think and say about them. This is why they try so hard to be, well, perfect.

A perfectionist is both critical of themselves and others and tends to have strained relationships. Why? Because they have an obsessive need to be right- all the time- about EVERYTHING!

They think they must be perfect for others to like them and covertly seek validation from others rather than looking within themselves for it. And the outcome is usually adverse.

On the other hand, a confident person realizes that no one is perfect and that they will make mistakes. When they do make a mistake, they don’t make a big deal about it and beat themselves up.

Sure, a confident person may be disappointed for a short while but they always get over it very quickly and bounce back.

The Importance of Confidence:

A Confident person vs a Perfectionist

A confident person may even have a few people who do not like her. But confidence brings resilience and she doesn’t concern herself with how others perceive her.

Why? Because she knows that she is awesome and that there are plenty of others who DO love her.

A confident person is a “proud to be me” kind of individual. She always takes care of herself and the people she loves.

Moreover, she surrounds herself with positive and uplifting people who love her. Therefore, she steers clear of the negative people who want to bring her down.

In short, a confident person sees beauty where a perfectionist only sees flaws. She sees opportunity where a perfectionist sees strife and hard luck.

There’s no benefit to being a perfectionist. You only end up working too hard to meet standards that are more than likely impossible to meet.

So, you end up spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Also, you end up failing miserably and in the process, looking like a try-hard.

Confidence, on the other hand, is FREEING and it allows you to be you without fear.

It also brings patience, faith, and positive self-awareness. Instead of spinning your wheels, you move slowly, steadily, and PATIENTLY toward your goals. Moreover, you do it step by step, until you eventually reach them, thus, reaching success!

The Importance of Confidence:

Even the most confident have their moments

Even if you’re confident, you’ll still have moments and days when you don’t feel so confident. Moreover, there will be times when you’ll feel a tad insecure and nervous.

Only you’ll refuse to give in to it. Instead, you’ll give yourself psychological pep talks to make the insecurity go away, then face the fear head-on.

So, know that everyone has those days. And when it happens to you, don’t toil over it. Accept it as a part of being human. Also, when insecurity does rear its ugly head, either use your mind to lessen the feelings or make them go away.

You’re confident but not arrogant. You know where your talents are.

Moreover, you know all of your good qualities and bad, and you know who you are and what you want. However, you also know your limitations.

If you don’t like something, you take steps to change it. On the other hand, if you can’t change it, you find ways to embrace it.

Therefore, if you are a happy and confident person, there will be days when things go wrong, and days when you just aren’t feeling it.

So, I hope you remember that just because you are having a day when you don’t feel so good, it does not mean that you are not a strong, resilient, and confident person.

It just means that you are human, and just like everyone else, you will have down times and bad times. Just keep the faith because those times never last.

The Importance of Confidence:

guard your confidence and self-esteem as you would your life!

When you begin to love yourself, flaws, quirks and all, things begin to change…and for the better. You’ll be at peace and comfortable in your own skin.

Everywhere you look there will be opportunity. Moreover, everywhere you look, you’ll see beauty…because you’ll be looking for it.

And when you look for something, you usually find it.

Therefore, take steps to raise your confidence levels, even if you must recite positive affirmations to yourself every day. Accept your quirks and flaws.

Allow yourself to make mistakes. Most importantly, accept that there will be bullies, haters, and naysayers who will always have something to say and be okay with it.

In a nutshell, be yourself and do your thing. Only then will you be truly at peace.

This post was all about the importance of confidence so that you can take steps to protect it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

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‘Want to know all about confident body language and all the ways you can look confident even if you don’t necessarily feel confident? Here are all the tips and tricks you need to know about.

confident body language

Confidence looks great on anybody! Even you! Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confident body language and ways to look like you just won a million bucks!

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will not only look but feel better! Moreover, your magnetism will skyrocket!

This post is all about confident body language and ways to look confident so that you not only give your self-esteem a boost but your charisma too. And the best part is that you’ll less likely look like bully-bait!

Confident Body Language

The look of confidence can be the difference between being badass or being bullied. But before we talk about body language that make you look confident, let’s talk about the body language you should avoid.

5 Body Language Mistakes You Should Avoid

Bullies are always on the hunt for targets. Therefore, they look for signs in a potential target that screams “victim.” But, how do they do this?

Bullies will study your body language first and foremost. They also notice your emotional reactions to certain things.

In other words, they watch how you handle conflict and adversity. Here are all the negative body language moves and ways to correct them.

1. Lack of Eye-contact (Looking down or away)

Lack of eye-contact signals either dishonesty, or a lack of confidence. This is exactly what bullies look for.

Many victims of bullying get nervous in social situations. This is understandable.

When people have bullied you for long enough, you no longer feel safe in social interactions. Therefore, you’ll often avoid them altogether.

A little nervousness is normal. However, when you’re nervous to the point of avoiding eye-contact with others, bullies may notice.

As a result, they’ll peg you as a victim. Also, even people who aren’t necessarily bullies may mistake you for being deceptive.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to relax and look others in the eye when socializing. Realize that not everything is about you.

Make the interaction about the other person or people in the conversation. Smile. Act confident.

Yes, acting confident may seem fake. However, personal experience has taught me that if you act confident, you will soon feel confident.

And confidence is the best way to get through any social situation. Also, it lessens your chances of attracting bullies.

2. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

submissive body language

This includes poor posture, such as slouching and hunching down. Also, people-pleasing is another form of submission.

Behaviors such as shying away from saying what you want to say and not seeking to achieve your needs are forms of people-pleasing.

You must stop this behavior right now. Begin standing and sitting up straight. Stop trying to please other people. Instead, start achieving your own needs for a change.

Remember that you deserve, just as much as the next person, to have your needs and wants met. Therefore, start working toward your own goals. And to hell with the rest of them if they don’t like it.

3. self-protective behaviors (closed body-language)

Crossing of the arms in front of you and crossing your legs are both self-protective behaviors. So are hunkering down into the shoulders and hiding the neck.

Bullies will instantly notice this behavior from a mile away and think, “fresh meat!” when they see it.

Instead, open up and allow yourself to take up some space. Lengthen your neck and hold your head high. Relax. Always relax!

4. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

Having a Sheepish Look On Your Face

That includes downcast eyes, holding your head down, and looking bashful. Again, hold your head high.

Look people in the eye and smile. I guarantee you they will appreciate it when you do and think more highly of you.

5. trying to stay motionless to avoid drawing attention

This almost always gets you opposite results. Staying motionless won’t keep you from drawing attention. It just might get you the wrong attention- from bullies.

Therefore, you must move freely and I’m going to say it again… relax!

You must watch your body language if you don’t want bullies to spot you as a potential target. In fact, it’s the most important thing you can do.

If you catch yourself looking down, correct this by looking people in the eye or looking ahead. If it’s slouching you find yourself doing, sit up straight.

And keep doing this until it becomes second nature, no matter how long it takes. Why? Because body language speaks louder than words ever will.

Moreover, not only should you mind your own body language, you should also watch the bullies’ nonverbal cues as well.

11 Confident Body Language Cues

Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer.

Even worse, people will see it in your everyday body language. You won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets only attract more bullies and bullying. Why? Because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse.

In other words, the victim’s body language will transform from confident to diffident– meaning lack of confidence. This is the reason most victims have very few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because, others can spot insecurity a mile away. And it makes it difficult to attract healthy people into your life.

You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? Because, human nature dictates that healthy people stay away from those who have low self-esteem.

If you aren’t confident, you’ll attract predators. And these people will only pretend to be your friends to exert control over your life and get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as lack of eye contact, looking down, fake smiles and closed body language make you appear unapproachable.

Confident Body Language:

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not your fault. It is just something that happens after you’ve endured abuse for so long. However, here’s the good news!

Confident body language is something that you can learn. Moreover, it’s something you can teach yourself and practice.

And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life. Also, you’ll begin to repel bullies and other human predators.

Here are 11 powerful tricks you can use to Look Confident and instantly win friends.

1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at people shows that you approve of them. Also, it shows that you’re open to friendships.

Moreover, it conveys confidence and confidence is where it’s at! On the other hand, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off.

It only repels people and invites more bullying. Fake smiles only hurt more than they help.

2. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you are genuinely interested in them. It also shows respect.

People love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye.

Just don’t overdo it or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

3. Confident Body Language:

Stand up straight.

Bad posture, such as slouching and hunching, only conveys insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose.

Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand. Feet should be shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips with your thumbs on the front of your waist.

This also signals confidence. Again, confidence keeps bullies away. When a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with the person. Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power!

And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power!

4. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simpler, open body language means facing the people you talk to and keeping your whole body turned toward the person you’re speaking to.

Also, look them in the eye when. When you do all this combined, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

5. Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space.

Make sure to do this properly and you will build rapport with the people you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

6. Confident Body Language:

Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement.

Therefore, it’s a very powerful form of communication and often gets amazing social results!

7. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy and warmness.

8. Relax.

If you want people to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense.

Not only does it weird people out, it sends the message that you might be trying to hide something!

Therefore, always relax around others. Having relaxed body language conveys that you’re comfortable and confident with yourself.

Moreover, it shows that you’re confident about them too. It signals trust. Therefore, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

9. Confident Body Language:

Hold your head up.

Holding your head down or looking down conveys low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Therefore, always hold your head high. Doing this says confidence and others notice.

Look like you feel good about yourself and your attitude will soon align with it.

10. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone and your toes aren’t pointed toward them, it only conveys that you want to go elsewhere. In other words, it says that you don’t want to be with the person.

Now, some people don’t think about the feet. However, those who are the most aware of body language cues will.

Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to. It signals that you want to move toward them – that you’re happy to see them and speak with them.

11. Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your body language doesn’t match, you will come off to others as insincere.

As a result, they won’t take you seriously and will be repelled by you. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cues are in line with your verbal ones.

This post was all about confident body language so that you can not only keep bullies away but attract healthy people and friendships.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Confidence vs Arrogance

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

practicing self-care when people bully you at work

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

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‘Want to know how to go about practicing self-care when people bully you? Here are awesome ways to give yourself compassion when you’re being bullied.

practicing self-care when people bully you

If you don’t start looking out for number one, you’ll only continue coming in last! I cannot stress this enough. It’s not selfish to make yourself second to only God. Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the 10 ways in practicing self-care when people bully you.

Once you learn all these important tips, you’ll have the tools to show yourself compassion and feel better about yourself.

This post is all about practicing self-care when people bully you so that you can begin putting yourself first and begin to take back your peace.

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Understand that when you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, the only person you have is you! Therefore, be good to yourself. How do you do this?

  1. Set firm boundaries

Setting boundaries means saying no. And when you say it, say it early-on and often! Moreover, it means confidently calling out any disrespect. Then, walking away from the disrespectful drama starter without looking back. And this goes even if it’s someone you love and care about.

You have to look out for number one, because, if you don’t, no one else will. In fact, they just might use you as a rug.

So, protect your peace no matter what.

2. Keep in your mind that self-care isn’t selfish.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s crucial!

Many people may have conditioned you to think that putting yourself first is selfish. Those people may have called you self-centered for it. Maybe you were raised being told that self-centeredness is a huge turnoff to others. In many cases, that’s true.

Bullies and abusers also tell you this.  However, they only say these things to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. Therefore, you must pay attention to context and know when people are gaslighting you with this statement.

There’s a difference in practicing self-care and being self-centered.

  • Self-centeredness comes with self-entitlement. It involves stepping on the rights of other people and not caring how they feel. It is the root of bullying and abuse.
  • Self-care, on the other hand, means taking care of yourself without walking on others’ rights. In other words, it means that you know you’re no better than anyone else, but just as good as the next person.  It means you know your rights and you’re not afraid to stand up for those rights.

You practice self-care because you hold yourself in high regard.  Moreover, you treat yourself like the family member or friend that you dearly love.

It’s funny how quick bullies are to call you self-centered when you stand up to their abuse. Therefore, see it as a part of the bully’s playbook.

Therefore, if you have bullies and abusers who abuse you, always know that if they accuse you of anything- anything at all, you can bet that they are doing it themselves.

So, continue to look out for number one, even if you must find a way to do it on the sly. Don’t you think you’re worth it?

3. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Self-Care May Mean Making Heartbreaking Decisions

Once you choose not to be a target anymore, you may have to make very tough decisions. You will more than likely have to weed certain people out of your life for good.

Moreover, some of those people may even be people you love very much.

You can still love them, ‘nothing wrong with it. However, as much as you may love them, they are not always healthy for you to be around.

It’s a decision many have to make with toxic family members. And it’s very excruciating for them. Why? Because, when someone has to stop talking to a family member, they miss them very much.

In fact, they mourn the person deeply. Even after all the cutting remarks, that family member may have made or the abuse they inflict, the victim still mourns them. It’s akin to having a death in the family.

There’s no pain like mourning someone who’s still alive.

However, you still must cut the person off if they continue to disrupt your peace. It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal and rebuild your life.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose heart. Your relationship with your estranged loved one is still repairable. Some stories do have happy endings.

There’s always a chance you’ll be closer than ever later on! Sometimes, it takes a separation to bring people closer. Although painful when it happens, walking away may actually be a great thing and produce awesome results later on.

Anytime you walk away, your value and the other person’s value often go up. Therefore, in time, you both learn to respect one another. Then you love each other even more than you did before.

4. Do the Things You Enjoy most.

The idea is to create positive experiences for yourself that will balance out the bad stuff. Doing your favorite hobbies is a great way to do that.

5. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You:

Work toward your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. Besides, they don’t deserve even to be an afterthought. So, work on your goals and where you want to go.

Moreover, make life all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

6. Treat yourself.

In other words, treat yourself to a good, long soak in the bathtub, or to a makeover. Go to a spa and get a good muscle massage and pampering session.

Focus on your well-being and the more likely you are to heal from bullying.

7. take a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Also, you can visit an out of state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

8. Indulge in your hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished, but they take your mind off your bullies and the bullying you suffered in the past. Therefore, find something you enjoy doing the most and concentrate on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Moreover, it helps to remind you that you are good at something and that you have value. Which, you do!

9. Practicing self-care when People Bully You:

kick toxic people out of your life.

In other words, go no contact with anyone who uses or abuses you even a little. Why? Because the little abuses can add up to a huge punch to your self-esteem. Instead, begin keeping company with those who love you and who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. Why? Because it has a way of making up for all the hurt bullies cause you.

It gives you an equal or more amount of positivity in your life. Therefore, hang with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them, laugh with them, because laughter truly is the best medicine!

10. work out and eat healthy.

Eating a good diet has ways of making you feel well. This alone can work wonders for your self-esteem. Instead of eating junk that make you feel sluggish, eat proteins and green veggies to energize you.

Also, it pays to exercise every day.

Exercise not only makes you healthier and promotes weight loss and better muscle tone, but it can also be one heck of a stress buster. Whether you like High-Intensity Training with weights or a brisk walk through the park, it increases endorphins and other feel-good chemicals to help you feel better.

Focusing on your physical health is another way to take care of yourself when people bully you.

This post is all about practicing self-Care when people bully you so that you can better protect your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

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Do you know what it means to know your worth as a woman? Here are rules you should live by to increase your value.

know your worth as a womanWhen you know your worth as a woman, you’re least likely to settle for anything less than what you want and what you know you deserve.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it is to know your worth as a woman. Moreover, you’ll live by your beliefs and convictions so that you can increase your value and live the life you deserve.

Once you know this life-changing information, you will successfully increase your feminine value. Moreover, you’ll be more capable of creating the good life you deserve because you won’t settle for crap.

This post is all about what it is to know your worth as a woman so that you can know your true value and live up to it.

Know Your Worth as a Woman

A high-value woman is worth more than gold. However, with the moral decline of today’s females, she’s a rare commodity. Even so, potential partners still hope to find her.

First, here’s a scenario. A fourteen-year-old girl comes home from school to find both her grandmother’s sitting at the kitchen table.

Having both grown up during the Great Depression and been daughters of farmers, the grandmothers only have fifth-grade and seventh-grade educations, yet they are geniuses in common sense and street smarts!

As they sit together, sipping coffee and having just finished a card game, the girl’s maternal grandmother tells her the story of how her grandfather cheated on her many times but only dropped the other woman in the end.

She also tells her how she ended up divorcing him. After she tells her the story. Her sweet grandmas then give her 5 Rules all women should live by.

Rule Number 1

“Never, ever have an affair with a married man because you only settle for second place when you do, sweetheart. You decrease your value as a woman when you go with another woman’s husband”

“In other words, you cheapen yourself. Wouldn’t you rather find your own husband and be his one and only?”

Naturally, the young girl’s answer is an emphatic “YES!”

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Her maternal grandmother continued:

“When a woman dates a married man, she decreases her worth as a woman- and she does it immensely. She reduces herself to the lowest common denominator.”

“Moreover, she lives on the fantasy and false promise that the man will leave his wife for her. In most cases, he doesn’t. She only waits, with bated breath, wasting her valuable time on someone who doesn’t deserve her love let alone his wife’s.”

“Philanderers don’t change. And if he does leave his wife and marries the mistress, he’ll only eventually cheat on her too. When you have an affair with a married man, you sell yourself short. You set yourself up for a huge letdown later. Therefore, you must choose someone who isn’t already committed and who you can call your own.”

“That’s right.” the girl’s paternal grandmother agreed. Then she began to speak.

Rule Number 2

“And never ever throw herself at a man, or worse- crawl up behind someone who doesn’t want you. I see a lot of young girls in your age group doing this and the only thing it does is make them look desperate.”

“Moreover, the guys they chase only get an ego rush from it, them sit back with the buddies and laugh at the girl behind her back. Now, I know you haven’t begun dating yet, but I want to let you know now, so that you’ll avoid these pitfalls when you do begin to date.”

As the girl’s paternal grandmother, a widow, spoke her words, she listened attentively and the maternal grandmother nodded in agreement as she looked at the young girl with those beautiful, wide, but serious eyes.

Now before I go on, I realize that times have changed since I was a young girl and that I may offend a few people out there who may accuse me of using stereotypical gender roles and such. However, the girl in the story was I and this is the conversation we had.

Therefore, for those of you who are thinking about sending me a flamer about how “politically incorrect” this post sounds and that I should be more “gender neutral,” do not!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t listen to the in things of today, listen to your heart.

Don’t waste both your time and mine by trying to “school” me on the unwritten rules of identity politics because I’m not interested! This post isn’t about identity politics.

What it is about is knowing your worth as a woman and a person. Also, it’s about the importance of self-value, which, sadly, is in short supply in people these days.

Getting back to the subject, my grandmothers sure knew what they were talking about. They were two of the smartest and socially savviest women I knew. God rest their souls, I considered them life-geniuses! They were both masters at human nature and the hidden motivations and intentions of people!

Our little talk really made an impression on me that day. I never forgot that conversation and continued to live by it.

Know Your worth as a Woman:

Rule Number 3

You must value yourself. Therefore, my point to the above story is that no matter what relationship you choose, heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwise, you should always know your worth. You should value yourself enough not to even begin a relationship with someone who’s already taken. Know that there are always better options.

I say this not to judge anyone, but to convince you to see that you’re worth so much more than you think. In other words, you’re worth so much more than being a side-partner to some creepy toad who doesn’t value women.

The same goes for men who have affairs with married women or settle for fem-toads who either don’t value them or who cheat on them. You must start treating yourselves better!

When you date someone who’s already in a marriage or committed relationship, you set yourself up to play second fiddle. To be okay with lapping up someone else’s sloppy seconds? Yuck! Why would anyone settle for that pathetic crap?

Here’s something else I’ll bet you haven’t thought of. If you have an affair with someone else’s romantic partner, you might as well be wearing their underwear! Egads!

Rule Number 4

Don’t settle. In other words, don’t be okay with someone who wants to only shack up with you!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

The Value of a Wedding Band

Too many women these days don’t value themselves like they should, especially women who have suffered past bullying and abuse. And many predatory men will take advantage.

Take it from someone who made that mistake when she was young and naive. Shacking up isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

A woman who prefers marriage over living together knows her value and isn’t afraid of making it clear what she wants out of life. She is confident and a man who is worth her time will respect her and be willing to commit his life to her and make her his wife.

In no way am I telling people how to live. If you’d rather live together than to be married, then that’s your business and I won’t judge you for it. And there are couples who live together and eventually marry but that’s a rare occurrence these days.

Know that you’re worthy of so much more.

If a man wants you to live with him but doesn’t want to marry, how much does he actually think of you? Really think about it.

He expects you to cook, clean, and go to bed with him every night, and yet, he doesn’t think enough of you to make it official? Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Seriously, don’t you think you deserve better?

Rule Number 5

Don’t be afraid to go after the relationship you want.

Don’t be like the woman in the video!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

There are reasons why marriage is so much better than shacking up

1. There’s much more security.

Marriage is more legally binding than living together ever will be. Understand that people who marry make much more of a commitment to their partners than those who only live together.

2. There are higher levels of trust between partners.

The average couple who is married trusts each other more than the average couple who lives together outside marriage. I know that many will counter me with statistics of a high divorce rate. However, this should not deter you from getting married if that’s what you want.

When my husband and I were dating and the subject came up, I made it absolutely clear that the only man I would even consider living with would be the man I married. I knew what I wanted, and I didn’t fear speaking up about it.

Moreover, Mike loved and respected me for it. He thought a lot more of me, and eventually, he asked me to marry him. And the real kicker is that the first few times he asked, I said no because I wasn’t ready yet.

But he never gave up and eventually, I said yes.

3. Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Know your value. You are not free neither are you cheap.

There’s an old saying that was popular when I was growing up and it pertained to the attitudes of those who didn’t want the responsibility of marriage but wanted the perks of it:

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Nothing is free. There’s always a price in some way, shape, or form.

If I perform the duties of a wife, then I’m damn sure going to have the title. If I’m going to wash some guy’s dirty underwear, clip his toenails, or wash his funky feet when he’s sick and cannot do it himself, you can believe I’m going to do it with a marriage certificate and a wedding band.

When two people are truly in love, the chances are high that they will marry.

Realize that you have value. If you want marriage and your boyfriend doesn’t want to step up to the plate after you’re together for a few years, then let him go.

It won’t be easy, but don’t be afraid to walk away if your guy isn’t emotionally mature enough for marriage. Then you can make room for a man who deserves you. Understand that you deserve to be a wife, not a forever girlfriend.

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t be afraid to walk away from emotionally immature partners.

Therefore, love yourself enough to walk away from a man of low quality. Value yourself enough to wait for a high-quality man who deserves you and who wants your hand in marriage. You’re worth it, don’t you think?

http://www.thebridalbox.com/articles/benefits-of-marriage_0051522/

http://www.thelist.com/41041/surprising-benefits-married/

If you don’t learn to value and be true to yourself, how do you expect a potential partner to value and be true to you?

You value yourself by getting absolutely clear on what you will not settle for and what you won’t tolerate. Also, you value yourself by avoiding such partners who are known for cheating on their significant others.

You also value yourself by avoiding any toxic person, commanding respect, and being selective of friends and even choosier of dating and romantic partners.

Know that you deserve so much more. You deserve to be one and only in someone’s life and that should be non-negotiable. Anything less than that is unacceptable!

This post was all about what it means to know your worth as a woman so that you can start treating yourself better and going after what you know you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

4. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

you aint shit song

“You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

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“You ain’t shit” seems to be the most common go-to attack for bullies. ‘Want to know why they tell you this? Here are the most common motives behind the statement and how you should re-frame it to buffer your self-esteem.

"you ain't shit!"

Any time you show some confidence, it will make your bullies feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it will threaten their power over you. Moreover, if you score a win or accomplish an achievement, your bullies won’t like it. Therefore, your bullies will say something to cut you down to size.

Their favorite go to attack is to tell you that “you ain’t shit.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly why your bullies use this phrase. You’ll also learn how to use context to buffer your self-esteem against it and how to counter it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will better be able to brush it off when bullies use this statement.

This post is all about why bullies like to tell you that “you ain’t shit,” so that you can re-frame it and use it to raise your confidence.

“You Ain’t Shit!”

Introducing Rev. Aldtric Johnson

This post was inspired by Minister Aldtric Johnson of the “Be Blesstified” blog. He is a talented blogger and this is a must read for anyone who is a target of bullying.

Not only is his post packed with truths that we don’t often think about, but it’s also loaded with good humor! I can tell you that not only did I learn a few things, but I was in stitches as I read it! So please take the time to read the post below, you’ll be so glad you did!

In the words of Pastor Aldtric Johnson:
“This is a much too common insult in our culture, and yes, the bad grammar is always intentional…

“You ain’t worth s**t! Of course, implying that someone doesn’t have the value of feces, crap, refuse, doo-doo, dung, ‘ish’. It can be very hurtful if you allow it, especially if you are insecure or struggle with self-esteem. Or, if it’s told to a child by a parent, authority figure or peer.

It’s damage can last well into adulthood. So, let me give you a little ammunition with biblical support in case someone ever tells you, “You ain’t worth shiggity!”

Even Sh*t has value.

God created everything with value. Everything! Even doo-doo! We all know that there’s an industry built around the use of animal dung to make mulch and fertilizer.

Why? Because God put purpose and power, even in poop. Not only does it have value, but great value. People pay good money for a sack of s**t at Home Depot and Lowe’s.

God, in His wisdom gave waste the power to make things grow…so even waste doesn’t have to be wasted.

But, let’s look at the bible. There, we find the ‘S’-word was used for two ‘F’-words…both FERTILIZER and FUEL. Not only did they use it to grow their food, but they used it as fuel/coal to heat their food too.

When Bullies Tell You, “You ain’t Shit,” Look up these Bible verses on the value of crap:

Luke 13:7-8 (NKJV)
7 Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it.

Ezekiel 4:15 (NKJV)
15 Then He said to me, “See, I am giving you cow dung instead of human waste, and you shall prepare your bread over it.”

So, don’t get it twisted. God has value for dung. He has a purpose for poo, and He has a purpose for you.

Feces is used to diagnose illnesses, research for cures for disease, and do scientific research. There’s value in doo doo!

So, if anybody ever tells you that “You aren’t worth s**t,” tell them thank you! Tell them of it’s value. And then, remind them that if they ‘ain’t’ working God’s purpose for their life, tell them “S**t is worth more than you!”

Aldtric Johnson’s Blog – Be Blesstified

Now, here’s my take on it.

So, Why do Bullies Make the “You Ain’t Shit” Statement?

As mentioned earlier, bullies use this statement to cut you down to size. And they do it anytime you win at something and others either announce it or tell them. Also, they may tell you this anytime you show pride in yourself. Also, they do it anytime they overhear you sharing your successes with others.

So, why do bullies spew this ratchet statement?

1. They’re threatened By Your Confidence

Realize that your confidence will always threaten your bullies. Moreover, your bullies will only see your confidence as arrogance. And they will call you arrogant for the sole purpose of shaming you for it to get you to tone it down.

Moreover, they may even call you this to tear down your confidence and demoralize you. Realize that confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. And this is why bullies want to destroy it.

2. To Erode Your Self-Esteem

If  you have healthy self-esteem, your bullies won’t be able to tear you down as easily. Therefore, they throw subtle digs and zingers to chip away at your self-esteem.

Look at self-esteem as an invisible fortress. In order for an enemy to invade and take over, they must destroy the fortress first. It’s the same with bullies. They must destroy your self-esteem before they can invade you and take over your life.

Therefore, they begin by subtle verbal taunts to soften you up.

3. Why Bullies tell you, “You Ain’t Shit”

To Assert Superiority over you

To assert domination over you, your bullies must first cut you down to size. Bullies want to be superior to you. Therefore, they will make this statement to feel more powerful and to make you feel powerless.

4. To Humiliate you in front of others

Have you noticed that bullies will usually tell you this in front of an audience? Understand that they do this to humiliate you and to entertain others at your expense.

Bullying is hurtful enough in private. However, it’s several times worse in public, when there are others around to see it.

5. To Put you in your place

When you succeed at something, bullies consider it an affront to their power over you. Moreover, your win only reminds them of all the things they failed at.

There are reasons why bullies discourage you. And they do it deliberately. Realize that your bullies are more aware of your potential than you are and they are jealous of that potential.

Moreover, these people are scared to death that you’re going to make it in life later on. Therefore, they ridicule your confidence and try their hardest to make you ashamed of it so that you’ll tone it down a little.

Bullies know that if they can convince you that having pride in your win is arrogance, they can fool you into suppressing your confidence. In that, they can steer you away from success. So, see this for what it is.

It’s a sneaky form of sabotage!

Understand that these people see you as inferior to them. Therefore, any accomplishments you make will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos.

Understand that these people aren’t happy. Why do you think they go out of their way to bring you down, rain on your parade, trash your dreams?

Think about it. How many happy people do you see sitting or standing around putting others down? Therefore, realize that when they tell you, “you ain’t shit,” they just might be projecting their own feelings of inadequacy onto you.

And they tell you these things because they want you to believe it! Moreover, they want you to live up to it!

Realize that this phrase usually comes from jealousy.

So, how do you counter your bullies when they tell you, “you ain’t shit?”

Simple, you let it go in one ear and out the other. Or, you can do as Rev. Aldtric Johnson suggested, you can tell them, “thank you.”

Also, look at the context of it. Did you win at something? For example, did you finally accomplish a goal that you’ve worked hard to attain? Did someone give you recognition for a job well done? If so, feel good about it and laugh at your bullies.

Why? Because they’re only saying these things out of jealousy and to keep from feeling inferior to you.

Are you a confident person? Maybe your bullies are jealous of your confidence.

Again, just look at them, smile, and say, “thank you.” Then watch your bullies seethe, knowing they didn’t get the reaction they wanted from you.

This post was all about why bullies tell you, “You ain’t shit,” so that you’ll know where it comes from and buffer your confidence against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

signs of low self-esteem in women

Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

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‘Want to know the signs of low self-esteem? Here are all the indicators that your self-esteem is broken and the best ways to repair it.

signs of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem makes for a miserable life. People who have it bypass opportunities that would otherwise improve their lives. Moreover, it can put a strain on relationships.

If you’re a target of bullying who’s self-esteem has been broken by bullies, this is the last thing you need. So, your first step is to know the signs of low self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post you will learn all the signs of low-self-esteem and how to recognize it in yourself and in others. Also, you’ll learn how to correct it in yourself so that you can raise your self-esteem, gather the courage to stand up to bullies, and ultimately, live a more fulfilling life.

Once you learn all this pertinent information, you will be prompted to take the necessary steps to improve your self-esteem so that you can take back control over your life.

Signs of low self-esteem

Let’s jump right into it. What are the signs of low self-esteem? And what can you do to raise it?

1. Lack of boundaries

When you have no boundaries, you let others walk all over you. You allow others to treat you like dirt. You don’t say no or stop when someone abuses you.

However, if you don’t set boundaries, you’ll only attract more bullies and predators in your life. Why? Because predatory people will see you coming a mile away!

Therefore, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You must understand that this is part of taking care of yourself.

Self-care isn’t selfish and you deserve well-treatment as much as the next person. Moreover, if people lash out at you for establishing boundaries, that’s your cue to ditch these losers and surround yourself with better people.

This will work wonders for your self-esteem

2. People-pleasing behavior

 You can’t please everyone all the time. Therefore, people-pleasing doesn’t score you any points in the end. It only leaves you depleted and exhausted.

Realize that you can’t please everyone all the time and there are time when you must make yourself a priority. So, don’t be afraid to say no when you can’t fulfill someone’s request right away.

Know that there’s nothing wrong with pursuing your own interests when you must. And if anyone has a problem with it, it’s a sign you need to get rid of them.

This is how you place value on yourself. You do it by weeding out the users and abusers who only show up when they need something and get pissed when you’re in the middle of something else and can’t help them right away.

3. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

approval-seeking behavior

What does approval-seeking behavior look like? Here are a few examples:

You change or soften your position when it looks like someone isn’t happy with where you stand. Or, you might give insincere compliments all for the sake of being liked.

Also, you may pretend to agree with someone when you really don’t. These are among the behaviors of approval-seeking and most people see right through it.

Therefore, be true to who you are. Stop pretending to be something you aren’t. People respect those who are authentic and have no time for someone who’s fake.

When you stop seeking approval, you’ll be amazed at what it does for your self-esteem!

4. Shyness/withdrawal

In other words, you avoid social situations because you’re afraid of rejection.

However, if you don’t take risks and put yourself out there, you’ll miss out on possible friendships and rewarding relationships. Here’s another thing to consider.

The best way to get rid of shyness is to take the focus off you and focus on the positives you can bring to others. This is what worked for me and it’ll work for you too.

5. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Fear of conflict

When you fear conflict, you go out of your way to avoid debates and disagreements. This is a close sister to seeking approval and people-pleasing because you pretend to agree when you really disagree.

For instance, you voice your opinion and others look like they disapprove. you notice their discomfort and suddenly change your opinion to line up with theirs.

You only do this to avoid any possible conflict you might have with them. However, if you don’t stay true to yourself, people will notice and they won’t respect you.

You must continue to be yourself even if others don’t like it. This is how you build your self-esteem.

6. Fear of failure

Fear of failure makes for an unsuccessful life. Understand that everyone fails at some point. However, those who keep trying eventually succeed. And they succeed because they keep trying no matter how many times they crash and burn.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to try. Why? Because if you don’t try, you surely won’t reach success. And think about this. You have a much higher chance of hitting your goals if you keep trying. But if you don’t try, you’ll have no chance whatsoever!

7. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Negative self-talk

Thinking things like, “I’m a loser,” or “I’ll never make it,” is negative self-talk. Therefore, if you continue with this inner dialogue, you’ll only motivate yourself to give up easily. Even worse, your self-esteem will sink even lower.

Instead, treat yourself as you would your best friend. Practice positive inner talk. This is how you turn negative thoughts to positive ones.

This may feel awkward at first because you aren’t used to thinking this way.

However, if you practice every day, it will feel less and less weird until it becomes like second nature. Try it! You’ll be surprise at how it raises your self-esteem!

8. Self-Depreciating jokes

You wouldn’t want anyone else to degrade you with jokes. So, why do it to yourself. Again, treat yourself like you would a best friend and watch your self-esteem improve dramatically!

9. Downplaying accomplishments

Any time you minimize your accomplishments and successes, it means that you don’t feel you deserve recognition and praise for them.

Therefore, be proud of your successes and don’t apologize for them. Realize that you aren’t being arrogant when you take pride in the things you’ve done.

When you allow yourself to bask in some of your accomplishments, you raise your self-esteem.

10. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Avoiding Eye Contact

Avoiding eye contact conveys fear and bullies can see this from a mile away! As a result, you become a target to those who wish to take advantage of you.

Therefore, practice good eye contact until it becomes nature. This will immensely improve your self-esteem.

11. Poor Posture

Slouching only shows the people around you that you don’t like yourself very much. And, trust me, they will treat you accordingly.

Therefore, learn to stand up straight with your head up and shoulders back. This is called confident body language and it’ll boost your self-esteem like magic!

12. downcast eyes

Looking down is another indicator of low self-esteem. When you look down all the time, it means that you’re afraid to look others in the eye.

Therefore, you’ll draw bullies and abusers to you instead of healthy, quality people who would otherwise be good friends and associates.

Therefore, never look down. Always look straight ahead and walk with purpose. These are other ways you can display confident body language and raise self-esteem.

13. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Toxic shame

When you feel toxic shame, you feel worthless. As a result, this can cause feelings of self-loathing and it will only cause you to behave in ways that signal that.

Therefore, if you haven’t done anything to deliberately harm anyone, what are you ashamed of? Take steps to find out where the shame comes from and take steps to get rid of it.

If you’re ashamed of the way you look, change the things you can change and accept the things about yourself that you can’t. It won’t be easy.

However, if you learn to embrace your imperfections, your self-esteem will soar!

14. self-doubt

Self-doubt comes from bullying and abuse. It comes from others who teach you that you can’t make choices on your own without screwing up.

However, realize that those people probably told you these things just to keep you down and steal your power. Once you realize their true motivations, you’ll be more compelled to trust your instincts, your decisions, and yourself.

Moreover, when you begin trusting yourself fully, your self-esteem will improve tremendously!

15. Self-comparison

There are reasons why well-meaning people tell you to never compare yourself to others. It’s because it kills your self-esteem.

Realize that we’re all different and that different people are good at different things. In other words, we all have different talents and gifts.

Therefore, instead of focusing on what they can do better than you, focus on the things YOU are best at! Then practice your talents and show them off.

I guarantee you that your self-esteem will thank you for it!

16. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Trust issues

Whether your trust issues is with your partner or with people in general, it’s not a good sign. In order to have a social life, you must learn to trust other people.

In other words, you must take risks. Realize that encountering a few assholes is a part of life and you should expect it. However, don’t let them cause you to sink into paranoia.

Instead, deal with the bullies and assholes accordingly. Stand up to them and tell them to piss off. Then keep doing your thing!

This is how you keep your self-esteem from tanking.

17. Difficulty accepting compliments

Any time someone gives you a genuine compliment. Tell them thank you. Real compliments are something to be grateful for and they feel good.

However, when you have low self-esteem, you have a hard time taking compliments because you don’t think that you deserve them. Moreover, you may feel that the person paying you that compliment may have ulterior motives.

However, think about this. Most people won’t pay you a compliment unless they feel you’ve earned it. Therefore, accept it with grace, smile, and say thank you.

Then let it repair your self-esteem. I promise you. If you start being grateful for the compliments people give you, you’re likely to get more of them, which will give your self-esteem a huge boost!

This post was all about the signs of low self-esteem so that you can recognize them in yourself and make the necessary change to boost it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

bullying support group

Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

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Bullying support groups and organizations are life savers for victims of bullying. Therefore, if you or a loved one is suffering from bullying, gaslighting, and abuse, I want you to know that there are people and organizations you can reach out to.

bullying support

When bullies target you at school or in the workplace, a support system can be the difference between suicide and the will to live. I tell you this from experience.

Sadly today, there are people who don’t consider the damage bullying does to victims because most people don’t like to acknowledge it. Many people simply do not want to know that bullying even exists.

Moreover, many victims suffer in silence because they’re either afraid their bullies will retaliate or they’re too ashamed to admit that they’re victims. Another reason is that much of society is still under the misguided belief that bullying is “a right of passage” – a “normal occurrence that all kids go through.”

This is simply not true.

There is nothing normal about it, and no, the majority of kids don’t endure long-term bullying. Only about a third. And even this estimate is probably much higher because much of the bullying people endure goes unreported.

What you will learn:

In this post, you will learn about the bullying support resources available when you have nowhere else to turn.

Once you learn about all these people and groups, you will be better able to get the help you need.

This post is all about the bullying resources available to you so that you can get the help you need to either fight, face, or heal from the bullying. Know that you are not alone and that there are people out there who care.

Bullying Support

Bullying destroys the lives of millions worldwide every year. Moreover, those who haven’t experienced it still hold the belief that bullying is just a normal part of life. Regardless of what they think, bullying is one of the biggest morale killers.

Therefore, you may think that speaking up about it is out of the question.

Truth be known, you’re more than likely afraid that if you do speak up, others will shame you for it. They may tell you to toughen up. And maybe they did when you tried to tell them what was happening to you.

So, you toughened up. You started fighting back and defending yourself, only for others to blame you, accusing you of being the perpetrator.

As a result, the school principal suspended or expelled you. Or, maybe your were a bullied adult in the workplace and your supervisor fired you because you stood up to the bully.

In a nutshell, there still isn’t enough support for victims of bullying even today. How many child,  teen, and adult suicides could we prevent if we simply put the word out that help is available

Moreover, how many could we’ve prevented decades ago. Unfortunately, that’s an answer we’ll never know because those victims aren’t alive to tell their stories today.

I can only speculate that it was more than likely well over half of all suicides and I’m confident in that guess.

Therefore, if you’re a parent or guardian, listen to your child and take steps to support and protect your son, daughter, or grandchild.

If you’re a teacher and a child or teen comes to you and opens up about the bullying they suffer, please do not trivialize their pain nor rebuff them. Reach out to them and give them a listening ear.

Let this precious human being know that you’re there for them.

If you’re a supervisor or manager, please, listen for the sake of not only the target, but for that of your company. Companies lose millions per year as a result of workplace bullying. Therefore, it’s much more profitable to do the right thing than it is to ignore it or to blame the target.

1. Bullying Support Groups and Therapists

There are millions of support groups of other bullying victims and survivors. Many of the leaders of these groups have also endured bullying. Therefore, do research and see if there is one in your area. These groups are so beneficial because you’ll be together with people who’ve had the same experiences.

Moreover, you will be in a safe place to talk about what’s happening to you and get everything off your chest. The best part is that the members of the other group will listen and they will offer moral support. You will be among friends.

Moreover, a therapist will be able to help you. They can be a good source for counseling to repair your self-esteem and overall mental health.

They can also give you tips on how to handle a bully.

2. Martial Arts Schools

Martial Arts school are great because, not only do they teach you how to defend yourself, they also teach you how to think on your feet. Moreover, many MA schools have classes on how to deal with bullies.

The best part is that martial arts also teaches you to have confidence and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Therefore, if it’s feasible for you, think about joining a martial arts class.

Note: Just don’t tell anyone that you’re taking martial arts. You definitely don’t want your bullies to find this out until it’s time. Also, never use your training on a bully until you are completely confident in your MA abilities.

3. Bullying support for Parents

There are also many groups who support parents of bullied schoolchildren. Again, do research, ask around, see if your area has one. These groups not only offer support, they will also teach you how to be there for your child and how to talk to them.

4. trusted Family and friends

Trusted family and friends are also great avenues of support. Moreover, if you know they will listen with love, open up to them and tell them what you’re going through.

This often works when you don’t have the funds for therapy or group sessions.

5. trusted teachers

Notice I said, trusted teachers. Sadly, not all teachers are sympathetic to bullied students. In fact, I’m willing to say that the majority of them aren’t.

However, there are a few who are especially understanding. They’re the teachers that you don’t meet but maybe 1 to 3 times during your school career. Therefore, if you have a trusted teacher that you absolutely love, don’t be afraid to confide in them.

I speak from experience because I had a few teachers I could talk to when I was being bullied. And, let me tell you! They made a huge difference in my life! They are the teachers, I’ll always remember with love!

6. workplace bullying support groups

Yes, there are support groups for bullied adults in the workplace. Also, if you need to see a therapist, they’re also a great resource for support. In many cases, therapists have made all the difference in the lives of many victims.

Therefore, don’t be too ashamed to see one. Remember that it doesn’t mean that you’re coming unglued. Although there is a lot of unfair stigma around seeing a counselor, you shouldn’t concern yourself with what others think.

This is all a part of self-care. Not only should you take care of your body, you should take care of your psychological and emotional well-being as well.

7. anti-bullying attorneys

There are many lawyers who specialize in anti-bullying law. These litigators represent bullied children and their families against schools who fail to protect them against bullies. Moreover, they also represent adults who have had their lives ruined because of workplace bullies.

They file lawsuits against schools, school systems, and companies for any damages done to victims, from lost wages, to medical costs resulting from bullying. They will even help you to recoup any psychological costs and file for punitive damages from schools, companies, and bullies themselves.

Therefore, if you’ve suffer psychological trauma from bullying, don’t hesitate to consult one of these attorneys. Most of them offer a free consultation and they can tell you if you have a case.

Also, some of them will probably be pro-bono attorneys. In other words, you don’t pay fees to them unless they win your case or you get a settlement. Put simpler, if you get nothing, they get nothing.

In Conclusion

Any time people are bullying you every day, for everything, you need all the support you can get. Why? Because bullies are experts at manipulating social hierarchies and turning other people against you. And they do this specifically to whittle down any support you may get.

And why do they prevent anyone from supporting you? Because any support you get is a threat to your bullies’ power over you. Therefore, this is why most bullies are hellbent on turning others against their victims and isolating them.

This is why support groups, therapists, and attorneys who specialize in bullying are popping up all over the country. There is a need for bullying-support and it’s finally available as it should have been years ago.

Therefore, take advantage of these support systems. You’ll be glad you did.

This post was all about the bullying support resources that are available to victims and why you should consider reaching out to them for help.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

2. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

Confidence vs Arrogance

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‘Want to know the difference between confidence vs arrogance? Here are the differences you need to know about, especially if you’re a victim of bullying and abuse.

confidence vs arrogance

Many people get the two confused. Why? Because others conditioned them to believe that even the smallest shred of confidence is arrogance and that it’s bad.

Sadly, bullies and abusers condition victims that confidence is negative. Also, you can be misguided in thinking such by people who are well-meaning but don’t know better.

Why? Because they were also taught such things. Others conditioned them to believe that confidence, self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion were arrogance. Then, they passed it onto you.

Moreover, they were taught that they were bad people for having those treasures. Also, the abusers in their lives manipulated them into believing that they never deserved to have those traits.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between confidence and arrogance so that you understand the differences.

Once you learn how the two differ, you will have an understanding of the distinctions. Also, you’ll be better able to resist being brainwashed when bullies attack your confidence and try to convince you that it’s bad.

This post is all about confidence vs arrogance so that you can hold on to your confidence when bullies try to attack you for it.

Confidence vs Arrogance

So, what’s the difference?

1. Confidence is healthy.

It’s never shy nor boastful. It’s that happy and healthy middle between low self-esteem and smugness.

Therefore, when a person is confident, they don’t have to trumpet their own importance and they don’t have to show off. Confidence isn’t loud or obnoxious, it’s quiet.

A confident person doesn’t boast or brag because they don’t have to. They know their value and all the good they bring to this world. They already know their own importance. Confidence is seen and not heard because it’s there.

Confident people believe they’re equal to everyone else. They believe they’re no better than anyone but just as good.

Therefore, they are kind to others and allow them to be themselves and do their own thing. However, a confident person is also assertive. They aren’t afraid to set firm boundaries and lay down the law if another person sticks so much as a toe over their boundaries.

A confident person, doesn’t let his confidence effect the way he treats people.

Why? Because he believes that everyone has a right to respect and dignity.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be confident and to be comfortable in your own skin. Moreover, it’s okay to have respect for yourself and to love yourself.

And thirdly, it’s okay to indulge in self-care and to tell some creep to go to hell if they get abusive with you. So, be confident!

Know that you can have confidence without being a pompous stuffed shirt. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well and with love and respect.

2. Confidence vs Arrogance:

Arrogance is unhealthy

In fact, it’s toxic! Arrogance is extreme.

In other words, it’s loud and obnoxious. When a person is arrogant, they’re full of themselves. An arrogant person makes sure that everyone around them knows how important they are because they feel they must announce it to the world.

Arrogance is like a peacock; it shows all it’s pretty colors and expects people to notice and give it recognition. However, it’s boastful because it’s insecure, and craves attention, admiration, and adoration.

An arrogant person believes he’s superior.

They treat people they deem inferior like dirt. Moreover, they’ll go out of their way to bully them and let them know who’s boss.

An arrogant person either doesn’t recognize boundaries, or he resents them. In other words, he believes that he should have carte blanche to violate another person’s boundaries.

Also, he gets highly pissed if the person he bullies has the gall to stand up to him.

Therefore, an arrogant person is a self-entitled, egotistical, self-satisfied turd who uses his attractive qualities to compensate for insecurity, cowardice, and weakness.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Regardless of what others have taught you, there’s a difference.

If other people have taught you the confidence is conceit, understand that they fed you nothing but lies. Confidence, basic self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are not arrogant. Moreover, they aren’t selfish.

What they are is essential– essential for good mental health and a good life. They’re crucial for happiness and fulfillment

Realize that when someone attacks your confidence by accusing you of being arrogant or self-centered, it’s not about you. It’s really about them and always has been.

Why? Because they only do it to keep you down by making you feel less than them.

They do it because, deep down, they feel small. So, they feel they must push you down into the pits of low self-esteem so they can feel superior. Therefore, these people, who are really bullies, believe they must break your spirit to uplift theirs.

Oh, but wait! Here’s something else to think about here: maybe bullies and abusers drum this garbage into your head because they’re afraid. That’s right!

Could it be that bullies and abusers attack your confidence out of fear?

They’re frightened that if you manage to attain that precious confidence that you were born with, then you just might grow a pair of coconuts! In other words, you’re more likely to develop the spinal column to tell them where they can stick it and drop them like a bad habit!

Realize that this is about power. Moreover, it’s about making sure they keep you in your place, so they don’t risk losing their power over you.

Confidence vs Arrogance Or Confidence vs Egotism

Arrogance and egotism are close cousins. The confusion between confidence and egotism is also quite common. However, there are ways to distinguish between confidence and egotism.

Before I go further, let me start by saying that we all have egos. However, the trick is in how we handle them.

Here are the differences between confidence and egotism.

  • Confidence is quiet. Egotism, like arrogance, is loud and boastful.
  • The former doesn’t have to boast because it already knows its value. The latter, on the other hand, must constantly remind others of its value.
  • Confidence is teachable. Whereas, egotism is not. It kills the capacity to learn because it thinks it already knows everything there is to know.
  • Confidence leads to growth. Egotism can only lead to stagnation and eventual destruction.

Two Opposites

Princess Diana, during her latter years, was the perfect example of confidence. Once she saw her worth, she traveled the world, helping the less fortunate.

On the other hand, Hitler was an example of egotism. His overinflated ego led to the destruction and loss of millions of innocent lives. His overstuffed ego produced intense hatred for all Jews and anyone else he saw as his enemy.

As we know, bullies aren’t confident, they’re egotistical. Again, we all have egos. However, not all of us have egotism. Therefore, egotism is bad because it often stems from negative feelings of anger, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, and fear.

Moreover, it’s the reason bullies often target those based on their weaknesses, the lower role they play and their stations in life.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Promotes Equality while Egotism Promotes Division

Confident people treat the janitor or the security guard with the same respect they would give the company president or the CEO. In contrast, egotistical bullies only will only mistreat the janitor and security guard while sucking up to the president and the CEO.

A confident person gives kindness and respect to those who can do nothing for him. In other words, he treats everyone equally regardless of difference or position. Ego-driven bullies only abuse those who can’t benefit them somehow.

Those who are confident have selfless motives and doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re a decent and moral person.

However, those who are ego-driven bullies are self-serving. With these types of personalities, it’s all about fame and name.

Putting ego aside means respecting those whom society deems beneath you and giving them the same human value. It means making an effort to understand those who are different from you and doing your best to help them as you would those most like you.

Egotism is when ego overrides humanity and places it in grave danger, whereas, confidence helps and saves it.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Saves Humanity, Egotism Destroys it.

Sadly, I’ve worked with people who were great people to get along with. But once they got that coveted promotion, they became people I no longer recognized.

Bullies often spend money beyond their means to buy expensive clothes and cars, trying to look like they’re better off than everyone else. However, this is a sure hallmark of egotism.

Unfortunately, many bullies get deep in debt and sometimes resort to thievery to get out of it. As a result, they end up in legal trouble, which is an example of the self-destruction that egotism can bring.

Therefore, be aware of these signs in other people. And be confident, but know where the line between confidence and egotism lies.

“Who do you think you are!”

Have you ever had people seemingly mistake your confidence for conceit? Or worse, get offended by it? And you knew it but never understood why?

Heaven forbid you actually have even a minuscule amount of self-esteem and take pride in your accomplishments.

Sadly, we live in a world that’s insecure, self-conscious, and unhappy. Therefore, there will be people who resent your spirit and your happiness.

Understand that environments that are very toxic and the toxic people within them have an intense hatred of those who are cheerful and have a strong sense of self.

Bullies are such people. But realize that, though they’d tell you differently, bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be because anyone who’s truly happy wouldn’t try to make others feel lousy.

Moreover, they wouldn’t resent the happiness, confidence, or successes of others.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Arrogance and egotism will try to tear down confidence.

I’ve dealt with these types of people- people who resented my confidence. Moreover, this was confidence that I’d worked hard to rebuild after having been severely bullied.

You could see it written all over their faces- the scowls, how their eyes would narrow and turn into slits! Their brows would furrow anytime they saw a smile on  anyone else’s face.

Can you imagine what they were thinking? You can just hear it.

“The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah!”

You probably hear the remarks too.

“She thinks too highly of herself and needs to be brought down a notch or two!”

“He’s an arrogant jerk!”

“She’s so uppity!”

“He loves himself too much!”

“She needs to bring herself down to earth with the rest of us!”

I could go on and on.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Your confidence will offend some.

Many people act as if being confident and loving yourself is wrong. The message you get is that it’s “selfish.” Also, some will tell you that you need to climb down off your high horse.

Maybe they say that you’ve gotten too big for your britches. They try to make you think that having confidence in yourself is something to be ashamed of.

You can practically hear your bullies shout in the style of Greta Thunberg, ”How dehhhhh you!”

Bullies tend to think that if you have pride in yourself, you’re sanctimonious. However, it’s okay for them to have it.

In their minds, confidence and pride should be reserved only for them and people like them. But woe unto you if you have even an ounce of self-value and to believe in yourself.

Therefore, continue to have confidence! There’s nothing wrong with it! Moreover, do whatever you must do to maintain it! Confidence is something you must guard with your life!

This post is all about the difference between confidence vs arrogance so that you can have the knowledge to rebuff any bullies who try to gaslight you into believing that being confident is wrong.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

when you start seeing your worth as a human being

When You Start Seeing Your Worth,17 Amazing Changes Happen.

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‘Want to know all the amazing things that happen in your life when you start seeing your worth? Here are all the life changes you need to know.

when you start seeing your worth

Once you realize your worth, magical things begin to happen in your life. Amazing things you never thought possible!

In this post, you will learn all the awesome benefits that come when you start seeing your worth.

After you learn all these advantages, you will begin your journey to discovering just how much you’re loved and that you have a good purpose for being here.

This post is all about the amazing benefits you’ll see when you start seeing your worth so that you’ll be inclined to do the inner work and value yourself as a human being.

When You Start Seeing Your Worth

So, what happens when you start seeing your worth?

1. You refuse to have anything more to do with people who don’t.

 Sadly, when you’ve suffered bullying, your self-esteem has taken a beating. Therefore, it’s too easy to feel you must cling to people who could care less about you.

However, once you begin seeing your worth, you begin weeding out all those who use and abuse you. You refuse to say around people who only tolerate you. This is because you value your time and some people aren’t worth one second of it!

Therefore, you refuse to make time for those who talk down to you or use you.

By kicking out the losers, you make room for better people to come into your life. In short, you start placing less value on the quantity of friends and focus more on quality of friends.

Therefore, you finally attract friendships that are fulfilling.

2. You stop settling for less than what you know you deserve.

In other words, you raise your standards.  Not only are you selective of the people who come into your life. You begin applying for better jobs, and buying products of higher quality.

Moreover and most importantly, you command better service and better treatment. Therefore, you attract healthier people.

You accept nothing less than the best because you know you’re worth it!

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to be alone.

You come to a place where you’d rather fly solo than put up with shoddy treatment. Moreover, you actually like being alone and prioritize your “me time” to relax and recharge.

Here’s another thing. You don’t toil over being single. You’re just as happy without a mate as you would be with one. Therefore, you’re willing enjoy your singleness until the right person comes along.

And when you get to where you enjoy your solitude, that’s when you know you’ve grown!

4. You begin loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away from toxic people.

In other words, you’re no longer afraid to let go of fake friends and posers. And this goes even if a few of them happen to be those you love. And when you do let them go, you do it without concern over the outcome.

Moreover, you drop these people without guilt. Why? Because you know that it pays to be nit-picky of those you allow into your life.

5. You no longer give a damn what others think or say of you.

In other words, you’re not the least bit concerned with opinions. In fact, you actually embrace any dislike a few people have for you. Why? Because those people will no longer matter to you.

When you don’t care what other people think, you’re not afraid to put yourself and your needs first. Why? Because you realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Therefore, you don’t feel guilty because you know that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

6. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to set boundaries.

This means that you have the guts to say “no” to things you don’t want. And when you say it, you mean it.

You’re also not afraid to stand up to people who cross the line with you. In fact, you’re willing to put on your bitch-face when the situation calls for it.

You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. You realize that respect is a two-way street. Therefore, you live by the mantra that others aren’t entitled to your respect. They must earn it!

7. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Why? Because you know that mistakes are your best teachers. Therefore, you’re willing to learn from them. You also realize that no one is perfect. And that’s it’s okay.

8. You’re comfortable in your own skin.

In other words, you embrace the good, the bad, and downright ugly parts of yourself. You continue to feel beautiful whether you’re dressed in an evening gown or in your tee shirt, jeans and sneakers.

9. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re willing to take risks.

Why? Because you’re not afraid to fail. You know that if you do, you can always try and try again. Also, you know that if you try for long enough, you’ll eventually succeed.

So, you don’t quit. You keep going.

10. You look on the bright side.

In other words, you try to see the positive side to bad things that may happen. You may fail at doing this from time to time. However, you, at least search for the good side.

Therefore, your confidence doesn’t take such a big hit when things go wrong.

11. Your confidence goes through the roof.

In other words, you don’t fear rejection nor ridicule. Why? Because you realize that you’re just as good as the next person.

Again, you’re also not worried about who does or does not like you. Why? Because you like yourself, even if a few others don’t.

Therefore, you look forward to meeting new people.

12. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re a go-Getter.

In other words, if there’s something you want, you work hard for it. And you don’t stop until you get it.

If there are any roadblocks, you look for a detour. If you have setbacks, you keep working hard and power your way through it.

13. You work on your goals and follow your dreams.

If you have a dream, you aren’t afraid to strive for it, no matter how long it takes. Though haters and naysayers may try to discourage you, you pay them no mind.

Why? Because you see through the haters. You realize that their negative words only come from a place of jealousy. Moreover, you know that they’re only speaking from their own worldview.

Instead, you keep working toward your goals and dreams until you reach them.

14. You have nothing to prove to others.

You realize that the only person you must prove anything to is yourself. Therefore, you no longer feel the need to try to be someone you aren’t. Why? Because you know that your value is there even if others can’t see it.

you don’t waste time begging for approval. Moreover, you refuse to hang on to people who aren’t really your friends.

Therefore, you don’t waste your precious energy trying to impress those who aren’t worthy of you.

15. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You realize your potential.

You know who you are and what you’re made of. In other words, you are aware of your potential and the heights you can rise to.

You believe in yourself even if others don’t. And that’s what makes you so badass!

16. You’re not afraid to be yourself.

Therefore, you’re not afraid to be silly sometimes. In fact, you’re outgoing and others notice it.

Being fake takes too much work and you’re much too lazy to be fake. Therefore, you’re authentically you and it shows.

Moreover, you understand that fake personalities only draw in fake friends. you also know that to weed out toxic people requires you to be yourself.

In that, you keep the creeps at bay and make it a point to live life to the fullest.

17. When you start seeing your worth:

You give Yourself the best gift of all – Freedom!

Knowing your worth means self-acceptance. In other words, it means being okay with yourself, warts and all! Moreover, it’s giving yourself permission to feel those raw emotions any time some creep pisses you off.

Seeing your worth means freedom! The freedom to be human! To be you! And to celebrate yourself!

Therefore, get to know your worth and your life will change for the better!

This post is all about the life-changing things that begin to happen in your life when you start seeing your worth. Put simpler, it’s about the benefits you’ll reap once you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

6. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

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It’s important that you never chase people who don’t see your worth. Would you like to know why? Here are the reasons never to try winning over those who don’t appreciate you and don’t want to be won over.

never chase people who don't see your worth

Many bullying victims are so anxious to make friends that they don’t set boundaries as to the way people should treat them. Therefore, as long as they don’t have to be by themselves, they overlook the shoddy ways their so-called friends treat them.

And once these fake friends are ready to discard them, these victims only beg them to stay friends with them or chase after them because they’re afraid of not having anyone at all.

Therefore, you will learn the reasons you never chase people who don’t see your worth.

Once you learn these reasons and that they’re good reasons, you will never again want to reduce yourself to chasing anyone who doesn’t value you.

This post is all about why you must never chase people who don’t see your worth. Also, it’s about what happens if you do and how you can easily let them go.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably fear being by yourself. Moreover, you chase friendships that aren’t true and get hurt many times over.

Why? Because it turns out that your pals are only tolerating you. And by the time you realize those people aren’t good for you, they’ve hurt, used, and humiliated you enough times that your self-esteem is damaged.

Here’s my advice to you if you feel lonely and desperate for friends:

Never chase anyone who does not see your worth! It is beneath you, and those who do not value you do not deserve the privilege of being in your life. Therefore, you need to cleanse your life of these toxic people.

I realize that if you are a target of bullying, your friendship options are minimal. Moreover, I know all too well of the humiliation of sitting alone at the lunch table at work or school.

It’s no fun watching everyone else getting to enjoy having friends around them while you’re isolated. Believe me, I get that.

However, if the options you do have are friends who only tolerate you. If they turn hot and cold, exclude you, or talk behind your back, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate those friendships.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth.

Do they accept you or do they only tolerate you?

There is a difference between someone who genuinely likes you and someone who is only tolerating you. Moreover, you always know when someone is only tolerating you because of how you feel when the person is around.

You can feel it in your gut. Something is off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Also, you can hear the shortness and coldness in the tone of your so-called friend’s voices. You can see it in the way that they look at you (or refuse to look at you).

Your spidey senses are ringing because you can feel the cold vibes that they put out. There is nothing worse than realizing that someone you think highly of thinks very little of you.

It is the most uncomfortable and sickening feeling in the world. It is the equivalent of being kicked in the stomach!

However, I want you to know that you do not have to be around such poisonous people. Anyone who makes you feel uneasy does not deserve your friendship. It does not matter if they are rich, good-looking, popular, successful, cool, tough, or whatever.

If they make you feel bad about yourself, ditch them! Weed. Then. OUT! They are not worthy of being in your company. You are better off without them. Understand that this may mean staying to yourself for a time.

No one wants to be a loner. I understand it, and I sympathize with you. However, I believe that it’s much better to be alone than to crawl up behind anyone who does not see your value.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth.

You must gather the courage to walk away from such people.

It won’t be easy. Nothing worthwhile is. It takes courage to walk away from a person or people who take you for granted, especially when options for human connections are so few.

And I won’t lie to you, you may be by yourself for a while. It may get lonely, even sad, and depressing at times. However, if you stay strong and true to your own heart, you’ll only increase your value.

Believe that you deserve so much better!

This is where setting boundaries comes in.

The reason people walk over you is because you don’t set boundaries. However, if you lack boundaries, you only invite a lack of respect from others. And, believe me, people notice when you don’t have boundaries.

They’ll look at you and laugh, telling others that you’re a wimp, pushover, or a doormat, and that’s putting it mildly. Most will use more colorful language to describe your lack of a backbone.

Therefore, get some! It’s the only way you’ll stand up to bullies and ditch fake friends. Know that setting boundaries isn’t wrong. It’s all a part of self-care.

Understand that anyone who doesn’t see your worth isn’t worth your time nor consideration. So, don’t be afraid to eight-six the creeps. Know that you can do bad by yourself! And you’re better off that way, alone, rather than keeping company with a bunch of lowlife pieces of shit.

Here’s Why You Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth:

1. You’ll only reduce your value.

In other words, you only cheapen yourself. Moreover, others will look at you and only see “pathetic” written all over you. You’ll constantly seek approval and put on fronts just to be accepted.

However, when you do these self-depreciating things, you only get the opposite of what you want. Therefore, show yourself some respect and ditch anyone who doesn’t give you the love and respect you deserve.

Once you start standing up for yourself, you’ll increase your value and others just might treat you better. And, if they don’t, they have no business being in your life.

2. Moreover, it could to an imbalance of power in relationships. This can perpetuate bullying.

Friendship isn’t supposed to hurt. In other words, real friends love you for you and you’re always on equal footing with them. There’s no imbalance of power because there’s mutual respect and love.

However, when you hang on to friends who only tolerate you, use you, and treat you like the last option, you only settle for friendships that are painful. Moreover, you surrender your power and give them the upper hand!

And once the other person has more power than you, the threat of bullying is there. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of it.

In fact, they may bully you just to make you go away. Therefore, place value on yourself and have nothing to do with those who don’t give you the respect you deserve.

Remember that if you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away, no one else will respect you either. It starts with you. Therefore, give yourself respect and watch others slowly begin to respect you.

3. Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth:

You’ll attract bullies and human predators.

When you chase people who don’t value you, you allow them to treat you like yesterday’s garbage. Human predators notice this right away. They notice your desperation. Therefore, they see you as a walking, talking opportunity.

And they’ll latch onto you just for the chance to take advantage of you or even hurt you. Therefore, treat yourself well by getting rid of those who only shit all over you.

If you get rid of people who only tolerate you and endure being alone for a while, life will reward you with true friends who genuinely care for you.

It may take a while. However, if you have the courage to walk away from fake people, life will eventually reward you for your courage. Moreover, it will do so by placing better and more loving people in your path.

You will eventually meet people who genuinely love you and have your best interests at heart.

Moreover, you’ll have better friends- friends who want to spend time with you, who want to invite you to parties and other events, and who will be there for you when the chips are down. You will have friends who are tried and true.

Be patient. Your time is coming!

This post is about the reasons you never chase people who don’t see your worth. It’s purpose is to prompt you to raise your own value by getting rid of those who don’t value you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

5. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

how to build self-confidence and self-esteem in teenagers

How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

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‘Want to know how to build self-confidence and self-esteem? Here are the exact steps to more confidence and better self-esteem, which leads to better overall  mental health.

how to build self-confidence and self-esteem

You can have all the determination in the world and work like a dog but without confidence, you are just spinning your wheels. Why? Because determination without it equals desperation and desperation comes from a spirit of lack.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to build self-confidence and self-esteem so that you can feel better about yourself, stand up to bullies, and go after what you want in life.

Once you learn this important and life-changing information, you will be compelled to do what you must do to raise not only your confidence and self-esteem, but your overall happiness!

This post is all about how to build self-confidence and self-esteem so that you can change your life for the better!

How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

When you’re always unsure and insecure, it is a proven fact that you won’t perform as well at school or work. Moreover, you’re likely to have strained relationships.

High self-esteem and confidence levels equal great performance and rewarding relationships, which equals success. Therefore, all this combined equals even MORE CONFIDENCE than before!

Why? Because it reinforces more confidence!

A winning attitude is key to having success in any area of life. Also, you’ll have faith in yourself, which will get you through tough times.

One of my favorite speakers is Zig Ziglar and he talks about “Stinkin Thinkin” and the damage it can do to self esteem. Therefore, you must turn this “stinkin thinkin” into thoughts of success, gratitude, and happiness.

Only then will you be amazed as you watch every area in your life take a turn for the better. And it will happen like magic!

Once you Build it, you must maintain it.

However, once you build your self-esteem and confidence, you must maintain them. Moreover, they will still be times when you will fail. However, remember this.

Failure is the predecessor of success. You will always make mistakes. No one is perfect nor all knowing. Instead of beating yourself up over your errors, look for the lessons that they mean to teach you.

Also, search for the positive in the mistake.

When someone tells you that you can’t, pay them no mind. Others can steal your morale if you allow them to. Moreover, understand that is not easy to be yourself and stay sure when surrounded by bullies.

Know that there will be others who hurl jabs and insults your way. Moreover, some people just won’t believe you can be successful. However, don’t put too much stock into their opinions.

Instead, hold on to your confidence and self-belief even if you have to give yourself pep talks several times daily. Adverse things will happen and people will hurt you. It’s just a part of life.

To feel hurt, anger, or sadness is normal and expected when something negative happens. Also, there will be times in life when you will not feel confident. Things will happen and throw you off kilter.

However, the difference is that when you have confidence, you will bounce back more quickly and will be less likely to dwell in negativity.

How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem:

If you have a negative mindset, you’ll need to reprogram your thinking.

For instance, if people bully you at school or at work, you’re more likely to feel insecure and have a horribly negative outlook. Therefore, it will take a lot of reprogramming in order to take back your confidence.

Moreover, it will be the hardest thing you may ever do in your life. It is easy to change certain things about yourself.

However, changing your thought patterns once others have conditioned you to think a certain way, is one of the hardest feats to accomplish. And it won’t happen overnight.

Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.

However, once you start, little by little, you will see a positive difference in your outlook. Also, the circumstances that come into your life will change for the better.

You will begin to feel confident and the more confidence you have, the more momentum you will have behind it.

Therefore, always keep that momentum going and you will be on the right path for the rest of your life. With confidence and a winning smile and attitude, you can achieve beyond your wildest dreams!

How to build self-confidence and self-esteem:

Here’s how it works.

Through our thought patterns, we unconsciously ask for what we get, good or bad. Therefore, by sending a certain vibe out you always get the same in return.

In other words, if you are negative, you are unwittingly asking for more negativity to come into your life. On the other hand, if you are positive, confident, happy and at peace then you are asking for more of the same and it shall be given.

So keep showing your pearly whites and smile from the heart! I once heard Zig Ziglar talk about a spirit of gratitude.  Counting your blessings and being thankful are the fastest ways to turn any negative into a positive and with it comes confidence. He was right!

Here are the steps you can take to change your way of thinking.

1. Every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, turn it into a positive thought.

For instance, you have a test or an interview coming soon and, in your mind, you ask yourself, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t make it?”

Immediately catch yourself. Then, turn that thought into a positive one by asking yourself, “What if I pass?” “What if I succeed?” or “What if I do make it?”

Or, if you find yourself thinking, “What if things go wrong?” Immediately turn it around and ask, “What if things go right?”

Also, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re a loser. Tell yourself, “No. I’m a winner.”

Continue doing this until thinking positive becomes like second nature!

2. How to build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem:

Maximize your chance opportunities.

If you’re talented in writing and you find that there’s a writing contest enter the contest. In other words, instead of letting this opportunity pass you by because you’re too afraid that you’ll lose, face your fears and enter the contest anyway.

And you never can tell. You just might win that contest! The point I’m making here is to try! Because if you don’t try, you don’t know. Put another way, if you try, you at least have a good chance of winning. However, if you don’t, there’s no chance of it.

Therefore, taking risks is crucial if you want positive change in your life.

3. Get out of your comfort zone.

This brings us back to what we mentioned in the last section, taking risks. Confident people with high self-esteem take risks. Therefore, because they take risks, they score many successes.

This isn’t to say that you’ll succeed every time, because you won’t. Even confident people fail. However, they don’t let failure stop them.

The confident do not give up. Instead, they move on to the next chance opportunity and they keep trying until they reach success!

Remember the line in Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

In other words, confident people get hit all the time, but they keep moving forward. They keep taking risks and they don’t stop until they get to where they want to be. And that’s how they win! So, don’t be afraid to take risks!

4. How to Build Self-confidence and Self-esteem:

Don’t Compare yourself to others.

Self-comparison is the killer of confidence and self-esteem. Therefore, stop comparing yourself to other people. Moreover, realize that we are all different and we’re each made to do different things and have diverse experiences.

Embrace the fact that each person has a different mix of talents. Some have more gifts, some have less. However, it doesn’t meant that those with less are less capable of success.

5. Turn negative self-talk into positive and loving words to yourself.

In other words, talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Instead of putting yourself down, begin building yourself up.

Giving yourself love and acceptance and know that you deserve it. Encourage yourself to keep going when things get tough. Give yourself the love you would give to your family and best friends.

6. Set goals and work hard to achieve them.

Set goals and go after them. Work hard and don’t quit until you achieve those goals. Moreover, never let bullies and jealous people discourage you.

Why? Because if word gets out that you’re working on a goal, there will be those who will do everything possible to discourage you. And this goes especially if you’re a target of bullying. Therefore, keep striving and don’t stop until you reach the finish line.

No matter what!

This post is all about how to build self-confidence and self-esteem so that you can achieve better mental health and better life results.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think 

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence 

4. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

5. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

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‘Want to know the signs of a lack of boundaries? Here are the signs you need to set boundaries and how to do it.

lack of boundaries

When you don’t have any boundaries, others will notice and take advantage of you. Moreover, you triple your chances of experiencing bullying.

In this post you will learn all the signs that you lack boundaries and what to do to establish them. Also, you’ll learn how to set and enforce those boundaries.

Once you learn all these indications, it will prompt you to take the steps needed to win back your autonomy, self-respect, and dignity. Moreover, you will became proactive in improving your relationships, your mental health, and your life.

Lack of Boundaries

When you have no boundaries, it can turn your world upside down. Why? Because you only leave yourself vulnerable to human predators.

In other words, others have no incentive to respect you.

Instead, they’ll make you responsible for their happiness and expect you to overextend yourself for their benefit. This is no way to live and life’s too short.

So,

What are the Signs You need to Begin establishing your boundaries?

1. You have toxic relationships

The people in your life have no respect for you. They only use you for their own benefit. Moreover, they manipulate you to get you to do what they want you to do. And if you don’t do what they tell you, they’ll then find ways to punish you for it.

Toxic people may punish you by refusing to talk to you. Also, they may lay guilt trips on you to make you feel bad.

Therefore, here’s what you do. You start by having no more to do with them. Stop associating with those who use and abuse you. There’s no law that says you have to hang around with them. You must begin making yourself less available and begin taking care of your own needs and priorities.

Moreover, understand that setting boundaries also means enforcing them when the need to do so arises. Also, know that it’s an ongoing process.

This is how you create your value and communicate your worth.

2. Another Sign of a lack of boundaries is that you seem to attract bullies, users, and abusers into your life.

When you don’t protect yourself from human predators, others will notice. And they will try establishing friendships with you just to use you.

Also, bullies and abusers will think they can abuse you and get away with it. Therefore, they’ll come around just to mistreat you and make themselves feel powerful.

Remember that the purpose of setting boundaries is to protect yourself

Therefore, impose consequences for this kind of behavior. In other words, when someone mistreats you, you respond in kind. Also, you cut off communication with them.

3. You hold on to toxic relationships.

Why do you do this? It’s because you have low self-esteem. People have convinced you that your needs and wants don’t matter. Moreover, you don’t think you can ever attain better connections. Therefore, you desperately cling to the very ones who treat you like garbage.

But realize that you must gather the courage to go no contact. You deserve people who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself, not those who bring you down!

You may be alone for a while. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be around those who suck the energy out of you?

Understand that it won’t be easy. You may have to wait a while before better people find you. However, know that once you discard those who mistreat you, you make room for those who are healthier and they will eventually come along. I guarantee it!

4. When you have a lack of boundaries, You Repel Healthier People.

Those who are happy and healthy won’t want to be around you. They may even reject you. Why? Because no one wants to be around anyone with low self-esteem.

Realize that people pick up on energy, especially low energy! Moreover, those who have low self-esteem put off low vibrations.

Therefore, happier people would rather be around those who are just as happy as they are.

Start setting boundaries and do it today! The sooner you do, the happier you’ll be, the better vibes you’ll exude, and you’ll start attracting those of higher quality!

5. You’re afraid of conflict and rejection.

You don’t stand up to people because you fear making them angry. Moreover, you’re running from conflict.

However. realize that conflict and rejection are both a part of life. This is a reality that you must accept and expect.

Setting boundaries means that you must embrace the possibility of conflict. And when someone gets offended at your boundaries and decides to lash out, you must face it head-on.

Also, expect things to get worse before they get better. Why? Because those of low integrity will be resistant to your newly established boundaries at first. And why not? They’ve grown quite comfortable with the way things were and they won’t like the change!

Nevertheless, you must continue to stand your ground and not give one tiny inch!

6. You Forgive too much when you have a lack of boundaries.

Forgiveness is a good thing but it doesn’t mean foolishness. In other words, you mustn’t overuse it. Also, you must be selective in who you give it to.

People who are genuine will see it as a second chance to repair the relationship and do better. Whereas, human predators will only see it as weakness and keep doing the same things they’ve been doing.

Therefore, don’t forgive so much.

7. You don’t say no.

Instead, you say yes to things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of making others angry. Saying no is essential to take care of yourself.

You must understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s and you’re not wrong for putting yourself first.

Saying no automatically sets a boundary. “No” is a tiny word but holds enormous power. On the other hand, there is zero power in saying yes.

Therefore, stop being too scared to say no and begin saying it more often. If it offends others, then they aren’t worth having! Ditch those creeps!

8. a lack of boundaries means staying silent when others mistreat you.

If nothing else, know this! No one has a right to abuse you and you are well within your rights to defend yourself when they do. Therefore, don’t be quiet about it. Speak up!

Let the creep know in no uncertain terms that they’re out of line and you will not tolerate their behavior. And say it like you mean it!

You do this by looking them straight in the eyes and using a firm, booming voice. And don’t stop looking at them until they take their eyes off you.

This is how you set firm boundaries.

9. You’re afraid to make Your own decisions.

Why? Because you fear making other people angry. However, realize that only you are living your life, not theirs.

Therefore, who are they to tell you what you can and can’t do? Start making your own decisions. And to hell with them if they don’t like it!

Why should you give a hoot what others think? Tell them to keep their nose out of your business!

10. When you have a lack of boundaries, You apologize too much.

There are some things that just don’t warrant an apology. Period! Others will walk all over you if you overdo the I’m sorries.

Also, they’ll see it as confirmation that you’re in the wrong. Only apologize when you must.

11. You people-Please.

People-pleasing is never good because you place the needs of others over your own. It’s one thing to put your child’s needs ahead of yours. That’s normal.

However, when you put everyone else’s needs first, you place your own needs last.

But why do you do this?

You do it because you don’t want to make people angry or hurt their feelings. But those who are really concerned for you wouldn’t be offended by your taking care of yourself too.

Therefore, you should get rid of those who have a problem with your prioritizing your needs. They’re a waste of your time and energy!

12. When you have a lack of boundaries, you have increased stress levels.

And why not? When you have no boundaries, people use you as a doormat to wipe their nasty feet on.

They use you for their own benefit and disrespect your time. Moreover, they talk down to you and tell you what you can and can’t do. Then, they get angry when you’re not available at their beck and call.

It’s as if you live for their convenience and purposes.

Therefore, buck up! Gather the courage to put an end to their nonsense once and for all! Start telling them no and mean it! And if they have a problem with it, show them the door! Fast!

13. You’re too agreeable.

You are entitled to your own opinions. Moreover, you have a right to voice those opinions. Understand that you aren’t going to agree with everyone all the time. And you shouldn’t.

When you’re too agreeable, others take notice of it and lose respect for you. Moreover, you’ll attract those who will take advantage of you.

Therefore, don’t be too scared to disagree.  And if others get offended over it, they aren’t worth your time.

Get rid of them.

14. When you have a lack of boundaries, You lose your sense of self.

In other words, you don’t know who you are anymore. You lose sight of your likes and dislikes because you’re too focused on those of others.

You’re too busy trying to please others that you don’t take time to do things you enjoy doing.

Isn’t it time you got to know yourself again?

Stop trying so hard to please everyone else and increase your self-knowledge. How you do this is to get some boundaries and stick to them.

Get rid of those who ask too much of you and begin doing things to feed your own soul.

15. You Feel Powerless.

In that, you feel used by everyone, which makes you angry and resentful. Moreover, you may feel powerless to stop it.

However, you have more power than you realize. You may be unable to change other people’s attitudes but you do have the choice of whether to keep them in your life.

Therefore, be brave and give those life-leeches the boot! Start living for yourself. Do things that fill your soul and don’t feel guilty for cutting ties with people who don’t appreciate you.

In conclusion:

Setting boundaries is a peaceable thing to do. It allows you to live in harmony with others. Moreover, it protects your peace, happiness, and overall mental health.

Personal boundaries are what everyone needs to live together in a polite society!

This post was all about the negative consequences that come with a lack of boundaries and what you can do to rectify it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses