loving yourself first is not selfish

Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

Do you want to know the true meaning of loving yourself first and the positive changes that come with it? Here are the mind-blowing advantages you gain when you treat yourself right.

loving yourself first

When you endure relentless bullying seemingly from every direction, loving yourself and putting yourself first can be difficult. Moreover, it’s too easy to buy into the lies of bullies and turn against yourself when people hurl insults and negative comments at you daily.

This is why you must embrace yourself even when it seems that no one else does.

In this post, you will learn about loving yourself first and ways to play mind games with yourself when you feel your self-esteem beginning to slip.

After you learn all these important tips, you will be more resistant to any negativity bullies kick your way. Here are things you can do to continue loving yourself first that are powerful and that work!

Loving yourself first

What does loving yourself first mean? It means loving yourself second to only God. It means continuing to treat yourself well in spite of the way people at work, school, the community, and even a few evil family members treat you.

Also, it means not giving respect to anyone who hasn’t earned it from you. Moreover, it means protecting your heart, your peace, and your space by establishing boundaries.

However, when you are a target of bullying, this can be very difficult when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity. Constantly being bombarded with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks tends to accumulate over time.

 As a result, it can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. In other words, if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited others tell you.

Therefore, no matter how viciously others may treat you, you must do everything possible to hold on to self-love! You must do this even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

“I AM an awesome person.”
>“I AM beautiful.”
>“I AM worthy of being loved.”

You must maintain your self-esteem and never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

How you go about loving yourself first

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can. Moreover, you must command respect from others, including a few family members you love dearly, and be willing to make some tough decisions to receive that love and respect.

Sometimes, you must be willing to walk away, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth. This means coming to a place where you no longer care the slightest about the outcome.

Also, you go about it by showing yourself compassion and practicing self-care.

Yes. There is a strong chance that your value will go up in people’s eyes, and they may eventually see your worth. There’s also a chance that they may come to respect you and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take a few years, but it can happen.

However, there’s also chance that these family members may not see your worth and continue to treat you badly. Therefore, be okay with it and be ready to cut these people out of your life. That’s what self-love is about.

To protect yourself from those who refuse to see your worth, don’t only walk away, but do it without guilt.

If, by chance, people don’t change toward you, realize that you did not turn your back on them because you did not care about them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the respect that you know you deserve.

Therefore, ever look outside of yourself for acceptance and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

Loving yourself first means loving everything that is you.

It means embracing every single part of yourself that you can do nothing about. What it doesn’t mean is accepting some things about yourself and either hating or being ashamed of other parts. In other words, it means accepting yourself completely– your entire self and all that you are- your whole being.

Therefore, whether you’re rich, poor, or middle-class, embrace it. It’s a part of who you are. Whether you’re Black, White, Hispanic, Jewish, or any other race, never be ashamed of it! Embrace it because it too is a part of you.

Whether you have brown eyes, blue eyes or green; dark, red, or blonde hair; dark or light skin- love those things. Those are also what makes you you.

Moreover, love your nationality, your country, your state, community, and neighborhood because they too make up the person that is you. Whether you are American or Japanese, British, or Indian, take pride in those things about you.

Take pride in and love yourself, no matter your heritage!

Accept your past and be okay with it.

If you grew up poor and made it out, don’t be ashamed. Be proud of it because it’s a testament to how far you’ve come. Also, if you grew up in an abusive household, own that too because it’s proof that you survived and overcame.

The same goes if you were once a person with a drug or alcohol addiction but now sober. Be not ashamed of those things, for those are things you’ve triumphed over. Moreover, if you have a past of crime and imprisonment and have turned your life around, see it as evidence of how you’ve matured and use it to teach others.

Love yourself no matter your weight, height, or whether you have freckles, glasses, or braces. they too are the building blocks of you. If you’d like to change them and can change them, by all means, do it.

Loving yourself first means changing what you can change and accepting what you can’t change about yourself.

Lose weight if you want to or get contacts if you don’t like your eyeglasses. Moreover, it’s okay to look forward to beautiful teeth once those braces come off. Know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to become what you feel would be a better version of yourself.

However, love the things you can’t change about yourself. Embrace yourself. Even better, celebrate yourself. Know that each of us is perfectly made, flaws and all!

Know that how you look, your past, your weight, height; eye, hair, and skin color; race, nationality, creed, upbringing, orientation, religion, values- each are the building blocks that make up the whole you.

The only thing that matters is your character and how you treat yourself and others.

Therefore, if you know in your heart that you are a good person and have so much to offer others. But that includes yourself too.

Remember that when it all comes down, no person is better than another. See yourself as neither superior nor inferior, but just as good as the next person. You are you and you love it!

Therefore, love and accept yourself. Believe in yourself. Moreover, take care of yourself and know your value and your worth. Know that you are worthy of the best life has to offer!

7 benefits you reap from loving yourself first:

1. You attract better people into your life.

You don’t attract what you want. No. You attract what you are. In other words, if you’re a negative person, you’ll only attract others who are negative. Just the same, if you don’t love yourself, you only attract others with the same condition.

However, once you begin valuing yourself, you’ll soon attract others who not only value themselves, but will value you as well.

Why? Because the energy you put out will change to the positive and people will pick up on it by sensing it. Therefore, you’ll begin attracting people into your life who will want to be around you and become friends.

You will most likely find true friends who love you for you.

2. You attract better circumstances into your life.

Blessings begin to flow into your life because of this change in attitude. When you love yourself, you believe you deserve better and better is what you’ll get. It’s just the way things work.

Your circumstances will match your disposition.

3. Your relationships improve.

Loving yourself first means that you have enough love to give others. Also, you give it more properly. Naturally, this improves your relationships exponentially because most people love those who love them.

4. Loving yourself first will skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

When you love yourself, it’s only natural that you also raise self-esteem and became more confident. Self-love is the battery that powers the confidence/self-esteem machine.

5. You’re healthier.

You have better health because you love yourself enough to eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep at night.

6. Your motivation increases.

You’re more motivated to pursue your interests and work on your goals when you have self-love.

7. You’re more productive.

As a result of increased motivation,  you bring more success and achievement into your life. This is why you accomplish so much more with self-love.

So, don’t you think it’s time you begin giving yourself the self-care you deserve? Self-love also means respecting yourself. Know that you’re worth it. And the benefits of it will amaze you! I promise!

this post was all about loving yourself first and the benefits that follow.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

2. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

3. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

healing from bullying as an adult

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

healing from bullying

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

 Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this.  In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

loving yourself in an environment that hates you reddit

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is one of the biggest challenges you face when people constantly bully you. However, you can do it! Here’s how to love yourself in the middle of bullying so that you can emerge from it with your self-esteem and mental health intact.

loving yourself in an environment that hates you

Loving yourself can be challenging when people target you for bullying. How can you feel good about yourself when the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

In this post you will learn all about ways of loving yourself in an environment that hates you. In that, you will learn ways to do it so that you can come away from bullying with a healthy self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be able to come through any abuse with minimal damage to your mental health and move on to a happy and productive life.

This post is all about loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you can come through bullying with your confidence, self-esteem, and mental health intact.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts and attacks, even for a short time, makes life harder than it should be.

Moreover, after a long period of time, it can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited bullies tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Here are ways to keep loving yourself when everyone bullies you.

1. Make positive affirmations every day, several times a day.

In other words, look at yourself in the mirror each morning and say these words to yourself:

  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of being loved.”
  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM important.”
  • “I AM smart.”

The more you give yourself positive affirmations, the more they will stick and the more you’ll believe it even if others try to bring you down. This is how you shield your precious mind from bullies who wish to destroy it.

Understand that you must do what you must do to maintain your self-esteem. Never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU. Therefore, love yourself enough to give yourself compassion when others mistreat you.

2. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Be willing to make difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some very difficult decisions in order to either receive that love and respect or get rid of toxic people who refuse to give it to you.

Sometimes, you have to walk away for people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

Moreover, this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible. It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If by chance, it doesn’t happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve.

You must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go.

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Stop Caring what people think of you.

No lie. This can be hard to do, especially if the people around you hate you and are bullying you. Loving yourself in a room full of people who hate you takes a mountain of hard work.

In other words, it’s real tough to do when all you hear from everyone is:

  • “You aren’t worth a damn!”
  • “You suck!”
  • “You’re a drain on society!”
  • “You’ll never amount to a hill of beans!”

I understand. If you hear that long enough and from enough people, it can break your spirit if you let it. And how you refuse to let it get to you is to see it for what it is- noise pollution!

This is why it’s so important to stop giving a tinker’s damn what anyone thinks of you. At the end of the day, what they think of you doesn’t matter.

Here’s another thing to think about. The weight a person’s opinions carry depends on their relationship with you. In other words, you give the most value to the opinions of the people who are closest to you. The ones who love and care for you.

However, the opinions of those who are out to hurt you carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t have to place in value on the opinions of enemies, bullies, and haters.

To get offended by someone’s opinion, you must first value their opinions. Therefore, don’t give any value to things that have none.

In other words, refuse to let the incendiary remarks of a bully get to you.

4. Give yourself permission to be yourself.

That means be the authentically beautiful person you were born to be. Moreover, do it even if others don’t like it. Understand that most people are fake and they won’t like it when you relax and be yourself. Why? Because you’re their complete opposite.

Also, giving yourself permission to be yourself means knowing it’s okay to have needs, wants, and desires. Moreover, it’s okay to express those desires.

Other people might ridicule or reprimand you for asking for what you want. However, pay these people no mind and just do your thing. They’ll get over it eventually.

5. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Train your inner voice to speak lovingly to you.

You do this through practice and patience. If that inner critic starts putting you down, catch it when it happens. Then turn the negative words into words of love.

Therefore, when you do this for long enough, that voice will begin to love you unconditionally.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Understand that we’re all on different paths. Some have smooth paths and others paths are rougher. However, never compare your life with theirs.

Look for the blessings in your life and be proud of who you are.

7. Give yourself permission to walk away from drama.

When bullies begin running their mouths, sometimes it’s best to just walk away and leave them standing there. Understand that you have a right not to deal with drama.

Moreover, expect your bullies to ridicule you for choosing to remove yourself. They may accuse you of being to scared to face them. However, know that it’s not out of fear that you do so, it’s out of smarts and self-care.

Therefore, realize that it’s okay to leave if you’re in an environment where you aren’t valued.

8. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, not everyone has bullies who constantly shame them for it or remind them of past errors.

This is proof that your mistakes are no worse than the ones others make. Your bullies may make it seem like they are. But they aren’t. Therefore, you’re no worse than anyone else.

Continue to love and value yourself anyway, despite what others may say or think.

9. Know that it’s okay if people get angry with you.

In other words, if people get angry at you for taking care of yourself, that’s your cue that they don’t deserve to be in your life and you should ditch these creeps and move on.

Don’t let their anger discourage you from doing what’s best for yourself. Because you’re the only one who must live your life. Therefore, make your life the best life you can make it.

And to hell with what anyone else thinks!

10. Realize that you can’t control how others think, feel, or behave.

Another person’s behavior is beyond your control. Therefore, give up the urge to control the way others act toward you. Why? Because it’s impossible and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

You can never control how others view you. Moreover, you can’t control what people say to you and how they act toward you.

However, what you can control is how you behave. In other words, you can control how you respond to the behavior of bullies and other idiots who try to steal your joy.

And, most importantly, you have a choice whether to keep associating with these losers and keep them in your life. Therefore, give them the boot if possible.

You don’t need them around.

11. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

See your bullies’ drivel for what it is – a bunch of noise!

Loving yourself in the face of bullying is revolutionary!

Therefore, you must drown out all the hot air and noise pollution your bullies emit. And you must see it for what it is. How do you do that?

  •  You do it by seeing your bullies for the creeps they truly are.
  • You do it by understanding where all their vitriol comes from.
  • Also, you do it by thinking good thoughts of yourself and reminding yourself of your good qualities.
  • And you do it by reminding yourself what a bunch of pathetic losers your bullies truly are.

Therefore, keep training your brain to think highly of yourself, even when nobody else thinks lowly of you. It’s the greatest act of rebellion against bullies!

Again, see it for what it is. The judgements and verbal abuse you consistently hear from the cowardly creeps around you, is nothing but a bunch of racket. In other words, it’s noise pollution!

When you’re determined like yourself when others don’t, you refuse to let bullies get into your head.

Moreover, you train your brain to filter out the negative comments that serve no purpose but to damage your self-esteem. Also, you silence that inner critic that would otherwise nag you night and day.

And here’s the best part! When you love and accept yourself, others outside the bullying environment will likely accept you. In other words, strangers who have no history with you will be inclined to also love and accept you.

No, your bullies and abusers won’t like or love you even if you love yourself. But who cares about them?

Therefore, you must love yourself in spite of what others think of you. You will be surprised at how it protects your self-esteem. When you work to feel good about yourself, even while bullies are trying to tear you down, it will work as a buffer to the psychological attacks they launch.

You may come out of it bruised, but not broken.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Learn to Love the Person You’re Stuck with For Life- You!

There’s no getting away from it, bucko! You can never run from yourself. You are confined to yourself and will take this person with you wherever you go.

Therefore, would you rather be stuck for the rest of your life with someone you love or someone you hate?

This post was all about the importance of loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you’ll be able to buffer yourself against the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well