Tag: school transfer

when victims of bullying change schools reddit

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools: 12 Things to Expect

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Want to know what happens when victims of bullying change schools? You would be pleasantly surprised. Here’s what you have to look forward to if you’re a victim of bullying and a school transfer is on the horizon.

when victims of bullying change schools

When you’re bullied at school, it’s like you’re living in a totalitarian social environment. For 8 hours a day, the student body feels entitled to police your very identity. And that’s usually your cue to get out of the environment.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the positive outcomes that occur when victims of bullying change schools.

Once you learn all about these exciting details, you will be more ready to escape bullying once and for all and switch to a new school.

This post is all about the positive changes that happen when victims of bullying change schools, so that you won’t waste another day in a toxic learning environment.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools

When you change schools after being bullied, you will feel like a hostage who has finally been rescued. You will feel like a bird out of a cage.

It won’t be just a change of scenery; it will be a change of life! Why? Because your life will make a complete 180-degree turn around. I say this because mine did when I changed schools.

leaving a toxic school

Understand that when you’re in a toxic school, you feel like a hostage. Why? Because you suffer from bullying. And every move you make is dictated by the threat of physical violence or social execution.

So what happens when you transfer to a new school?

1. The End of HYPER-VIGILANCE

In the old school, you had to constantly scan for threats. You always wondered who was staring at you and who was whispering. Even worse, you were always watching your back.

You knew that any moment, someone was going to run up behind you and clock you in the back of the head. And they’d probably get away with it.

When you finally get a chance to transfer to a new school, you will undergo a major psychological shift. And you will feel like you’ve been liberated!

Why? Because, at the new school, you will be able to walk down the halls without your heart thumping out of your chest. You will no longer have to live in survival mode.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools:

2. Your privacy will be restored.

In the old school, everyone was always prying into your business. You were always having to protect your personal life.

However, in the new school, no one will hold the keys to your private life. In fact, no one will care. There, you no longer have to hide secrets to survive. You can just be “the new kid.”

By changing schools, you replace the intrusiveness of bullies with the indifference of strangers.

3. You reclaim your identity.

When you transfer to a new school, you’re no longer “that loser” or “that wimp.” You’re just a fresh face. You’re the new kid that everyone wants to meet.

You no longer need to mask to protect yourself. Now, you can relax and just be yourself. And because you’re the new kid, you have allure and mystery.

You can start with a clean slate. Therefore, from here, you can put your best foot forward. And you can reinvent yourself.

4. You get to know yourself again.

Sometimes bullying can cause you to lose sight of who you are. However, when you change schools, you can get to know yourself again.

And before you know it, you’ll be back to your charming self in no time.

In the old school, bullies disconnected you from yourself. But in the new school, you rediscover who you are. Moreover, you can learn to love yourself.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools:

5. You get rid of any threats.

In the old school, you had to put on your bitch face to keep predators away. Maybe you felt you needed to hide your true self. Or you needed to put on a tough exterior.

However, you don’t need to do any of these things now. In the new school, the threat is gone. Why? Because the bullies from the old school can no longer reach you.

6. The post-escape high.

You will feel a sense of exhilaration. And it won’t be because of winning any fights with bullies. This amazing feeling will be a calm sense of sovereignty. Why? Because you’ve won your life back.

You are finally free from the clutches of your bullies. This freedom gives you rest. At the same time, it gives you excitement for the future. Now, you can finally look forward to it instead of dreading it.

For instance, at the old school, you dreaded going to school each morning. But now, you wake up, looking forward to the day ahead. You can’t wait to jump onto the school bus and meet new peers.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools:
7. Your Grades will drastically improve.

You’ll enjoy learning. As a result, schoolwork will get easier. And it will seem like magic. Why? Because you’ll no longer be living in survival mode.

In other words, you won’t spend all your energy looking out for bullies. Instead, you’ll focus it all on learning. And your grades will skyrocket.

Instead of making Cs, Ds, and Fs, you’ll begin making As and Bs. I tell you this because the same thing happened when I switched schools.

8. You’ll get to start over with a blank slate.

Starting with a blank slate gives you a second chance. In a new school, you will no longer be spending 99 percent of your brain power on survival. Therefore, your social life can only improve.

And you will flourish from now on.

9. You’ll find it easier to make friends.

When you transfer to a new school, you will make friends much more easily than you did in the old school. Why? Because you won’t have the bullies from the old school narrating your life.

There will be no pre-written script. You left your old victim role behind when you left the old school.

Then, you’ll be calm and relaxed in the new school.

People are attracted to those who are calm and comfortable with themselves because it signals confidence. This will help you make friends easily and effortlessly.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools:

10. You’ll find it easier to be yourself.

In the old school, you had to put on a front to find one shred of power. But not anymore.

In the new school, you will no longer feel the need to perform. Instead, you’ll feel sage enough to drop the act and be yourself.

People are naturally attracted to authenticity. And because you can now relax and be yourself, you’ll be a people-magnet.

Your new classmates will want to talk to you, hang out with you, and invite you to their clubs and meetings.

11. You’ll finally have acceptance. 

In the old school, people tolerated you at best. But in the new school, people accept you. You will feel validated because of the invites you get.

Moreover, you will enjoy sitting on the ball field, chatting and laughing with your new friends. This will only prove that the problem at your old school was never you. It was the toxic environment you were stuck in.

When Victims of Bullying Change Schools:

12. You will want to forget about the old school.

In fact, you won’t feel the need to tell anyone at the old school about your old environment. You will think it best just to leave that part of your life behind. Moreover, you will want to protect your new start.

By keeping the bullying you suffered in the past a secret, you’ll protect your new normal. Because you have social status with your new peers, you can put the old life to rest. You can close the book forever.

But most importantly, you can bring about healing and recovery. Why? Because you refuse to allow what was done to you to define you. And your new friends will feel like a wall that protects you.

In conclusion

In a bullying environment, you’re like a bird in a cage. A bird can’t fly in a cage. So, its captors label it “broken.” But once the bird escapes the cage and experiences the open air, it realizes that it is a natural at it.

That’s what bullying does. It’s a vicious cycle. It traps you in helplessness. It strips you of self-belief. Changing schools helps you to break out of that cage. In a new environment, you can relax and be yourself.

Why, because you no longer need to live in survival mode. The threat is gone. And you’re no longer a victim. You’re a survivor. And you’re on your way to being an overcomer.

In your new school, you can start fresh with a clean slate. Therefore, so many opportunities will open for you. You can make friends with your new classmates. You can improve your grades and flourish as a student.

And you can enjoy your new life without ever looking back.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom,

we change the environment, not the flower.”

– Unknown –

This post was all about the amazing things that happen when victims of bullying change schools so that you can look forward to your transfer with hope and excitement.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

2. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

3. When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing  

leaving a toxic environment quotes

Leaving a Toxic Environment: 5 Reasons to Do So

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‘Want to know the reasons for leaving a toxic environment? Here is everything you need to know.

leaving a toxic environment

“In a toxic environment, we cannot expect anything positive to grow.” – Unknown –

In this post, you will discover why leaving a toxic environment is better for your mental health than staying.

Once you learn all these vital truths, you will be compelled to remove yourself from the environment that doesn’t give you the peace you deserve.

This post is all about leaving a toxic environment so that you can move on to a place where you can flourish and have peace of mind.

Leaving a Toxic Environment

Sometimes setting boundaries and enforcing boundaries against some people only makes them angrier and more determined to get you. And when standing up to bullying doesn’t work, it’s best to remove yourself from the environment.

But, know that you aren’t running from them, no matter what others may tell you. You are only doing what you know is best. Here’s why you should get out of the environment when defending yourself only makes things worse.

The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Our environments determine our mental health. They have ways of molding and shaping us, especially during our formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment is more than likely going to either grow up to be an abusive adult. Or they will grow up to be weakened and powerless.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) are the most impressionable and they determine their future!

Yes, there are exceptions to this rule. A few kids develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. Those are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most do not, and it’s sad.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

You have three types of environments

  • Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
  • Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
  • Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in will condition you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer!

For example, a certain kid lives in a loving and healthy home. But his classmates at school bully him mercilessly and without fail.

the math

A child or teen needs about 10 hours of sleep per day. So, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours, and you’re left with a total of 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours, and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Then we must factor in school bus or commuting time. For the average kid, the trip is about 30 minutes to 1 hour each way, unless they are a car rider.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round-trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours. The child now has only 4-5 waking hours at home in her loving, nourishing environment.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

In Simplest Terms

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

A bullied child spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment as they do at home. Therefore, the bullying he suffers in class will nullify the love and acceptance he gets at home.

And he will be conditioned either to hate himself or not to think much of himself. Why? Because he spends more time with his bullying peers than he spends with his loving and accepting family.

In other words, he’s still more likely to have self-esteem issues and lack confidence.

What happens to bullied kids who come from toxic homes?

This goes double for bullied kids who come from abusive homes. The mental health of someone who is bullied at school and abused or neglected at home will take an even bigger hit.

Why? Because they never get a reprieve from bullying. Abuse at home is a form of bullying in and of itself.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

This bears repeating.

How a student is treated in class has a significant impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely negate any love and acceptance she receives at home.

how to reverse the damage school bullies cause

The good news is that there are ways to mitigate the damage caused by school bullying. You can save your child’s mental health.

1. Create Opportunities for them to make friends away from school.

You could enroll your child in a martial arts class or a scout troop. You might even get them involved in a function in your church.

This will create more positive social experiences for them. It will create an even balance between the bullying they suffer and the friendships they enjoy.

Even better, it might even tip the scales and create more positive experiences and social interactions.

Therefore, the resulting rise in positive experiences and interactions will buffer the kid’s self-esteem. In other words, the bullying they suffer in the classroom won’t affect them as much.

Here are other things you can do for your child. You can help them create more positive connections and experiences by sending them to summer camp.

Also, you can do it by allowing them to attend neighborhood family cookouts where other kids are present.

There are many opportunities to seize. So, go for it! Give your bullied child these wonderful experiences. They will turn into awesome memories that will last a lifetime.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

But what if the bullying still has a big impact?

You still may need to move away. Relocating may be a last resort. However, it is still a wise option if nothing else works. Remember, nothing is worth your or your child’s mental health.

If you cannot afford to move, I understand. However, if you have a bullied child, it is still easier to move them to another school. If you are being bullied at work, you can create an exit plan and find other employment.

Realize that you aren’t “chicken” for getting away from bullying. Getting out of any toxic situation isn’t “running away from your problems.” It’s self-care.

So, why should you leave the bullying environment if all else fails?

1. To get away from drama and toxicity

Life is too short to put up with other people’s bullshit. So, why not spend your life in a healthy place? Drama is exhausting. It depletes your physical and mental energy.

Therefore, it’s better to go where you can enjoy learning or working.

2. Leaving a Toxic Environment:

To go where you can grow and flourish.

When you’re in the right environment, one that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, you not only survive, you also thrive. Therefore, go where you can grow and flourish.

In a positive environment, under the right conditions, you feel free to be yourself. You can express your own ideas and opinions without fear.

Also, you can feel safe and secure. You can be confident and build positive relationships with others. This gives you the freedom to be creative and show your talents.

The people around you will encourage and support you. They will be cooperative and give you the freedom to be and do what you want.

Most importantly, they will nudge and push you to be your best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures your soul.

Whereas, in a toxic environment, one that is oppressive, you may only survive. In other words, you may only squeeze by if you’re lucky!

But even if you survive, you won’t grow. You’ll only stagnate, or worse, regress. Instead of flourishing, you’ll only wither.

3. To ensure your safety.

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, you aren’t free. You’re only a prisoner. You’re a slave – a victim. You need more than just food and water to survive; you also need positivity from your environment.

You need positive people around you. Human beings need all these things. They need diverse experiences, not sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different.

Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on your psyche and social interactions. It can make you bitter or better. Your environment can cause progression or regression.

Therefore, you must remove yourself from an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you. It may not always be easy, but it’s a must if you want to salvage your self-esteem and mental health.

In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Also, you will save yourself months of recovery.

4. Leaving a Toxic Environment:

To make new friends.

When you leave a toxic environment and move to a healthy one, you give yourself the gift of a clean slate. As a result, you can start anew. You can reinvent yourself by putting your best foot forward.

Therefore, you create the opportunity to make new friends. For instance, if bullies in the old place trashed your reputation, that won’t matter here.

Why? Because you have no history with the people in your new environment. Moreover, there’s a lower chance that your reputation in your old place will follow you to the new one.

Therefore, these total strangers will be excellent opportunities to make good friends and keep them.

5. To increase your life-chances.

You have no opportunities in a bullying environment. For instance, if you’re bullied in a town, you’re least likely to gain employment. And your ability to make friends will be compromised because others will be too busy judging you.

When you escape a toxic environment, your chances for dating and marriage will increase. Chances for friendship will also rise. Moreover, you will more likely achieve gainful employment.

In a new, healthier environment, nothing can stop you!

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

Distance Can Be a Good Thing

Dealing with people who criticize you daily can quickly wear you down and break your spirit. Sadly, many people disrespect the same victim repeatedly over several years.

If you find yourself in this situation, those people will eventually train you to tolerate it if you aren’t careful. Therefore, you must do what you must to safeguard your mind. If that means leaving, then why not?

More Leaving A Toxic Environment Quotes

“Never fear leaving a toxic environment. Be true and caring to yourself. Trust there is peace and positivity out there.” – Brendon Burchard –

“In a toxic environment, we cannot expect anything to grow.”  – Unknown –

It’s the people who make an environment toxic. Leaving is always best.

This post is all about leaving a toxic environment and why it’s the best thing to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning 

2. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

3.  Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

Culture of bullying in school systems

Culture of Bullying in Schools: Why Schools Lose Money

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‘Want to know why a culture of bullying in schools causes them to lose money and what you can do if you or your child suffers bullying? Here are all the facts you need to know about and the steps you can take if you’re a parent of a bullied child.

culture of bullying in schools

“When bullied children stay home to avoid hurtful relationships, schools lose tens of millions of dollars each year, a study says.” (Education Week)

According to The Atlantic (theatlantic.com) in a 2013 article by Eleanor Barkham, “160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied.” (https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp/.theatlantic.com/amp/article/280201/)

It adds up. Imagine those numbers per week, per month, and school year.
Each state receives federal funding for education.

You will learn all about the culture of bullying in schools and why educational institutions lose money. Moreover, you will learn what they’re doing about it and why you should be concerned. Lastly, you will learn what you can do if you or your child is stuck in a school where bullies run amuck.

Once you learn all of this life-saving information, you will be prompted to take steps to get yourself or your child out of a toxic learning environment. Then, you will select a school where you or your kid can learn in peace and flourish.

This post is all about the culture of bullying in schools and why they lose money. It’s also about what these schools are doing about it and why you should be concerned. Lastly, it’s about the importance of transferring your child to a safer school so that they can learn in a safe environment.

Culture of Bullying In Schools

The federal government funds the states, then each state funds each of its schools a specific dollar amount per day, per child in attendance. Therefore, when a student is absent from class on any given day, the school loses money for that particular student that day.

Many schools choose to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug. Moreover, it’s the victims who others label the troublemakers. In other words, they blame the incident victim of bullying for the abuse they suffer. Even worse people punish the target while letting the bullies off the hook.

This only encourages the bullies to bully the victim again later. Then, the abuse becomes a cycle that only repeats itself. This is why many victims skip school to avoid their tormentors and the teachers and staff who continuously blame them for their own suffering.

I don’t blame these kids for staying home. Many times, I skipped class myself when I was in school. All because of bullying.

Who wants to be in an environment where people continuously abuse them? You might as well stay home because you’re so busy watching your back that you don’t learn anything.

If school staff fails to address bullying at the district level, more bullied kids will skip school to avoid being tormented. Therefore, schools will lose more funds.

In my opinion, it serves these schools right! It’s funny how things always run full circle!

Reasons to Leave a Toxic Environment

A Positive Environment

When you’re in the right environment, you thrive instead of survive. In other words, when you can learn in a place that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, you can grow and flourish.

In a positive environment, under the right conditions, you feel free to be yourself. You can express your own ideas and opinions confidently and without fear.

Also, you feel safe and secure. You can be confident and build positive relationships with others. Thus giving you the freedom to create and to show your talents.

The people around you encourage and support you. They cooperate and give you the freedom to be and do. Moreover, they gently nudge and push you to be your best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures your soul.

Whereas, in the wrong environment, you stumble and fall. When you’re stuck somewhere that is toxic, oppressive, restrictive, and harmful, you only survive.

In other words, you don’t work at your full potential. You only squeeze by. Instead of grow, you only stagnate, or worse, regress. In other words, instead of flourish, you only wither.

Culture of bullying In Schools:

A Toxic Environment

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, you aren’t free. You’re only a prisoner. You’re a slave – a victim.

Humans need more than just food and water to survive. They also need positivity and encouragement. They need healthy people around them.  Also, human beings need diverse experiences instead of sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different.

Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on your mental health and social interactions. Moreover, it can make you bitter or better. Your environment can either cause you to progress or regress.

Therefore, if you find yourself in an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you, you must remove yourself from it. Though it may not always be easy to do. Leaving a toxic place will salvage your self-esteem and mental health. In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Moreover, you will save yourself months of recovery.

Flowers Can’t Grow and Bloom Without Sunlight

Self-doubt kills dreams. It comes when bullies and abusers shower a target person with toxicity. Therefore, when all a person gets are insults and abuse for a long period of time, they become exhausted. Moreover, any positivity they once had is slowly drained from them until they’re totally depleted of it.

Eventually, if targets aren’t careful, they’ll start to believe their abusers. In other words, they’ll start seeing themselves through the eyes of their bullies. They’ll give up and others will see in them, a person who’s lackluster and slow.

When you’re a target of bullying, you’re like a flower that gets nothing but constant rain. The flower doesn’t grow and develop properly.

The consistent abuse zaps your energy and keeps you hyper-vigilant and on guard 24/7- waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Culture of bullying in Schools:

Bullying takes away your spirit.

In other words, you’re in survival mode. And you lose your happiness, confidence, pride, will, and purpose in life. In essence, your bullies take away your good qualities and turn you into a person you don’t even recognize anymore.

Bullying and abuse takes the joy out of your life. Moreover, you begin to daydream about escaping your current situation. If there is no escape route available, you feel stuck.

Then, you isolate yourself and become a recluse. You retreat into your own little fantasy world because it just feels safer that way.

Finally, you stop growing as a person because you live inside your head instead of observing life that’s going on around you. As a result you stop and learning the lessons life is trying to teach you.

All the while, the bullying and abuse you suffer only gets worse because everyone around you knows that you’re living inside your head and they ridicule you for it.

And people do not know what you are going through. Therefore, they may mistake you for being lazy, slow, or foolish.

However, it only causes you to retreat further inside yourself and the bullying only gets worse. It is a vicious cycle, and it is no way to live!

Culture of Bullying in Schools:

You must have a good balance of positive and negative experiences.

Not only do I understand how you feel inside, I understand why. Just as flowers can’t grow without sunlight, people can’t grow without positivity.

Flowers need a good balance of rain and sunlight and people need a good balance of positivity and negativity. They cannot survive on just negativity nor positivity.

Too much negativity or, in this case, toxicity, and the person’s emotional and psychological growth will be stunted. Moreover, their happiness, confidence, and dreams will die. As a result, they’ll give up.

Too much positivity, and they lose touch with the real world and real people. Therefore, they become arrogant, full of themselves, demanding, and tyrannical!

There has to be a healthy balance of both before a person can truly grow.

Culture of bullying in schools:

Never accept anything your bullies tell you.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, never accept what bullies and abusers try to cram down your throat. I want you to realize that they don’t know you at all.

Although they may claim they know you more than you know yourself. The truth is, nobody can possibly know you like you do. Moreover, anyone who tells you otherwise is lying through their teeth.

Understand that bullies and abusers are miserable people who want you to be as miserable as they are. Therefore, stay away from those people. They aren’t worth your time or energy. Only keep company with people who love you and who uplift you!

Remember that there’s always hope. Also, realize that you’re worth much more than what your bullies say. Never let bullies destroy the things inside you that matter the most.

And those things are your self-love, self-respect, confidence, and sense of pride. Those things are yours and not for anyone else to have!

And how you do this is through self-care. If at all possible, remove yourself from the bullying environment. Go to a new place where you can grow and flourish.

In a new environment, you have the chance to make friends and be not only accepted, but celebrated!

Be your own hero and best friend. Be your own sunlight! Keep company with people who allow you to shine and the sun to shine on you!

This post was all about the culture of bullying in schools so that you can know whether your school has that toxic culture and convince your family to take advantage of school choice.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

5. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of