the psychological effects of gaslighting

Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

December 6, 2024December 1, 20244 Comments

‘Want to know the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you can better protect yourself against it? Here are the proven impacts gaslighters inflict that you must know about.

The psychological effects of gaslighting are many and massive. When victims of bullying and abuse endure gaslighting, the abuser and their flying monkeys only victimize them twice.

In this post, you will learn all the psychological effects of gaslighting on victims so that you’ll have more motivation to protect yourself against it.

After learning about all these ramifications, you will be better able to defend yourself against the evil deeds of gaslighters. Moreover, you will be about to call it out and explain what you’re dealing with when you talk about it.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you will better be able to explain to others what it does to victims.

Psychological effects of gaslighting

Before we get to the list, let’s touch on the goal of gaslighting and gaslighting tactics. Also, let’s preview how bullying and gaslighting impact your psyche.

Gaslighting is about wresting power and control over your mind. Bullies do this by undermining your reality. They minimize your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Moreover, they deflect and shift blame to you. Also, they’re notorious for feigning concern over your (mental) well being.

Understand that this is how they weaponize compassion and goodwill.

Gaslighters are experts at twisting the truth and re-framing conversations. Additionally, they slyly use your reactions to their abuse against you.

Why? To discredit you by making you look as if you have a mental imbalance. You should never tolerate this kind of behavior.

When people inflict bullying and gaslighting on you, they objectify you. In other words, they use you as an inanimate object, a tool for gratification and a rush of power.

It is as if you only exist for other people’s purposes and not you own. Slowly, over time, it does damage to your mental health and if you’re not careful, you may never grow into a fully mature human being.

Consequently, you may begin to see yourself as the projected object the bullies deem you to be. When bullies notoriously gaslight you, they deliberately try to distort your reality.

Why? Because they themselves deny reality. Bullies and abusers deny facts, uncontested truths, and the concreteness of evidence.

Therefore, they try to make reality into an imaginary illusion when, in fact, reality is the opposite.

So, what happens when a bullies try to undermine your perception of reality?

They brainwash you and force you to see things from their point of view. I’ve met many kinds of people in my life. This includes gaslighters- enough of them to know their tactics and recognize them like the back of my hand.

11 Psychological effects of gaslighting

Here is a list of the ways gaslighting impacts victims.

1. Self-doubt

Gaslighting causes you to doubt yourself. Therefore, you doubt what you see, hear, feel and believe.

What gaslighters are best at is trying to make you doubt your sanity or your memory when you call out their bad behavior and evil deeds. Or, when you report them for bullying.

For example, when you tell them to stop bullying you or you report them, your bullies may tell you that “you took it wrong and that they were only trying to help you.” Moreover, they can accuse you of being “mentally imbalanced” or “having a bad memory.”

Also, they may say that you didn’t hear them correctly.

Here’s another example. Your bullies call you an ugly name and you counter them saying, “I’m not a (ugly name). However, they only come back with, “Well, if the shoe fits, wear it!”

Although you know the shoe doesn’t fit, understand that your bullies will do everything in their power to try and shoehorn it.

Therefore, see these derogatory names and remarks for what they’re designed to do. And that is to get you to doubt yourself.

Don’t allow gaslighters to do this to you. Again, see through the lies. You must use their lies to solidify your perception of reality instead of distort it. Instead of allowing them to weaken you, let them only increase your strength and resilience.

In other words, double down!

These are only a few examples. Here are many other gaslighting examples to be aware of, along with a list of counter-statements you can use to shut down gaslighting.

2. Psychological effects of gaslighting: You lose confidence in yourself.

Bullies will fool you into doubting your own goodness and importance.

Gaslighters will also instill doubt in your mind about the people who truly love you. They’ll tell you that your friends and family don’t even love you. Moreover, they’ll claim that the reason they don’t love you is because you’re unlovable.

Moreover, they’ll trick you into doubting your abilities. They do this by making hurtful statements such as, “You can’t do anything right.” Moreover, they may call you cruel names such as, “st*pid,” when you accidentally spill a glass of milk.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes and has accidents. Therefore, never let them break down your confidence in yourself.

Hold on to your confidence. Because without it, you might as well have nothing.

3. You adopt a sense of insecurity.

Enduring gaslighting can make you insecure. If you put up with it long enough, you’ll develop social anxiety and feel nervous around people.

As a result, this kills your social opportunities.

Therefore, keep your outgoing personality no matter how bullies may treat you. They just might be jealous of your friendly nature.

4. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Hyper vigilance

Hyper vigilance is an awareness of potential threats way beyond that which is normal. In other words, when a person is hyper vigilant, they’re overly alert. However, this is a trauma response and it’s not your fault if you suffer from it.

Many victims of bullying and abuse suffer from hyper vigilance after bullies and abusers have traumatized them for so long. The same thing happens when you endure gaslighting for any length of time.

This can only cause exhaustion and other physical ailments.

Again, it’s not your fault. Therefore, don’t blame yourself. Know that there are resources and people you can turn to for help. So, please. Check into those.

5. Distrust in yourself and others.

Victims of gaslighting neither trust themselves to make the right decisions nor do they trust others not to harm them. Therefore, they live a life of constantly looking out for potential threats.

This is understandable. After bullies and abusers have bullied and gaslighted you for so long, you tend to lose trust in everyone, including yourself.

How you begin trusting yourself again is to stop worrying what other people think, face the fear, and begin making your own decisions. Just do it.

Also, how you learn to trust others is to be selective in who you place your trust in. Watch people and learn what threatening body language looks like. Moreover, learn the body language of deception and negativity.

Once you learn all these things, you will be able to better judge who to trust and who not to.

6. Psychological effects of gaslighting: They begin having difficulty with decision making.

This goes back to number five. You have difficulty making decisions because you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Moreover, you’re afraid to make decisions because you’re always wondering what people will think. You were bullied so badly that people ridiculed everything you did. And when you defended yourself, they gaslighted you for it.

I feel your pain. But, stop that! No one has to live your life but you. Therefore, only you can possibly know what’s best for you. For your own sake, quit letting others dictate your choices because they could care less about what’s for your good.

Yes, I know it’s scary when others have bullied and beaten you down for years. However, you cannot continue to live this way because it’s a miserable existence and life’s too short.

You don’t have to allow this any longer. Take back your autonomy and freedom and just do it! Begin making your own decisions today. And screw them if they don’t like it. You deserve to finally live your life on your terms.

Screw it, just do it!

7. They withdraw from others.

You withdraw from others because you’re afraid that they’ll only bully you. In other words, you’re afraid of history repeating itself. However, what if it doesn’t?

Again, although understandable, the only thing this will do is socially hold you back. Put simpler, it will have a negative impact on your existing relationships and keep you from starting new ones.

Therefore, don’t let the bullies of your past or present hold you back from relationships and friendships that could fulfill you and uplift you.

You deserve to have a social life and you deserve to draw in people who love you and celebrate you. So, put yourself out there and be your best self.

8. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Isolation

Because it seems everyone has bullied and gaslighted you, you feel that the only way for you to be safe is to isolate yourself. Therefore, you must know that this will only make things worse for you.

Why? Because you stand to lose touch with friends and family who could be there to help you. Moreover, you cut yourself off from the many opportunities that come with socializing and keeping contact with friends and family and making new ones.

In short, you become a shut in. Is this how you’d rather live your life?

Know that you deserve to have a life that’s rich and rewarding with people who love and uplift you. You deserve it. You may have been told otherwise but you were lied to. I repeat! You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and want best for you.

Therefore, never isolate yourself. Instead, get out there and take risks. Meet people. Just watch them and be choosy with who you allow in.

9. False guilt

After bullies and gaslighters have abused you for so long, it’s too easy to self-loathe and feel guilty for things you haven’t done. This only further erodes your self-esteem and peace of mind.

Moreover, if you allow others to unjustly heap false guilt over your head, what do you think they will do next?

Therefore, understand that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s bad behavior but your own.

In other words, you cannot control the actions of another person. The only behaviors you can control are yours. So, again, never accept accountability for your bullies’ evil ways.

Know that you have the power to refuse to carry any burden that isn’t yours to carry.

10. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Anxiety

It’s no secret that bullying and gaslighting can cause anxiety in victims and survivors. Anxiety is a booger bear because it causes you to worry constantly about something bad that has happened before, occurring again in the future.

In other words, thoughts of negative possibilities begin to occupy your mind all the time. It causes nervousness and uneasiness and renders you unable to relax.

This is no way to live. You deserve better. Therefore, you can talk to a therapist, your best friend or trusted family member. Either way, talk to someone you trust.

However, don’t let the anxiety go on for so long that it turns into a disorder.

11. Physical ailments, such as stomach issues and headaches

Psychological trauma has ways of causing illness in the body as well. This is why you must take steps to heal your mind from the effects of gaslighting and bullying.

Moreover, make sure you eat right, exercise and get plenty of rest. Take care of your body like you would your possessions. Because you health is your wealth.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting, how it impacts you, and how you can overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

August 16, 2024September 6, 20247 Comments

Do you want to know all the gaslighting examples so that you can properly protect yourself from narcissistic bullies and abusers? These are the most common manipulation tactics that gaslighters use.

Gaslighting can leave you dazed and confused, not to mention powerless. If you’re a target of bullying like I was, you’re probably doing all the research you can on how to spot it when it happens. As someone who has been on the receiving end, I’m giving you the most common tactics you need to look out for.

You’re going to learn the tactics gaslighters use, from denial to projection to trivializing.

Once you learn these gaslighting examples, you are going to be prepared for anything bullies throw at you. You will have a good comeback ready and be an expert at shutting down any gaslighter who crosses your path.

This post is all about the gaslighting examples that every decent human being should know.

Gaslighting Examples

Before we go any further, you must first know what gaslighting is, why people gaslight, and the effects it has on victims.

So, what is gaslighting?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, gaslighting is “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator” ( https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslighting )

The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1940s movie, “Gaslight,” in which a husband slyly tries to convince his wife that she’s going insane.

However, gaslighting doesn’t only happen in marriages and love relationships like in the movie. It occurs everywhere, in families, friendships, at school, work, and in the community. There is also political gaslighting, where dictators and crooked politicians gaslight the people in their land.

Gaslighting is all around us.

Why do people gaslight?

They do it to avoid accountability and to maintain control of their victims. People also gaslight to get their way and have what they want.

What effects does gaslighting have on victims?

Long-term victims of gaslighting often suffer from a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Also, they may have trust issues. Moreover, they may be overly self-conscious and struggle with intense self-doubt. Victims of gaslighting tend to question themselves and their own abilities and worth.

Here are 11 Common Gaslighting Examples

1. Denying any wrongdoing

For example, the bully/abuser may say something out of the way to you. Then, when you call them out for it, they emphatically deny it.

“I didn’t say that!”

And they’ll say this when you know doggone well they did say it. To this gaslighting statement, your response should be, “No. You did ‘say that’ because I heard you say it.”

Understand that the reason your bully or abuser uses denial of something they said or did is to make you question your memory.

But don’t question it! Know that you aren’t imagining things and that you aren’t only hearing things in your head. You know what you heard.

2. Telling Boldface lies

Gaslighters tell boldface lies. Moreover, they tell such obvious lies that you’re left wondering where they get the nerve and how they can do it with a straight face.

But understand that these types of people do this deliberately, and there’s a reason why they do it. It’s to cause you to doubt your own perception of the truth.

In fact, people with narcissistic personality disorder and other toxic types are masters at getting people to question their own understanding of what is true. Also, bullies and abusers all have NPD and toxic tendencies.

Therefore, never question your understanding of the truth and have nothing more to do with anyone who pulls this little number. The further you distance yourself from these creeps, the better off you’ll be!

3. Gaslighting examples also include projecting

Projecting or projection is another mechanism gaslighters like to use. So, what is projection?

When bullies project, they accuse their victims of the same evil deeds that they, themselves, are guilty of. Hence, they project their own behavior onto their target victims.

Do not allow them to do this. Keep standing in your truth and calling out the gaslighter’s behavior.

Tell them that they’re only projecting and that it doesn’t work with you.
This may or may not change the gaslighter’s behavior. In fact, the evil person will more than likely double down on it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

However, if you continue holding your ground, they’re least likely to gaslight you a second time, and others around you will know better than to try it with you as well. In other words, you’ll get more respect in the future.

4. Questioning your memory

Gaslighters love to question your memory because they know that this technique throws most people off-balance. The goal behind this tactic is to cause you to doubt yourself.

Therefore, it causes those around you to doubt you as well because if you have no confidence in your own memory, it’s likely that others won’t either.

So, don’t give them that opportunity. You know what you heard or saw.

Your eyes and ears are not playing tricks on you. Don’t play into the person’s hands. And don’t you doubt yourself for a minute.

5. distracting

Bullies are good at this but only with those who are easy to distract. Therefore, keep your focus on their bad behavior and call it out as it is.

Common ways a gaslighter tries to distract you and others from their wrongdoing is to bring up your past or a mistake you’ve made in the past. Tell them point blank that it has nothing to do with what they just did (or said) and that they’re clearly using a distraction method.

Yes, call out their distracting too and call it out by name. Again, this may not change their behavior and may even make the person want to retaliate.

However, their retaliation will only give them away. So, be sure to make that known as well.

6. Trivializing your reality Is also one of the many gaslighting examples.

Gaslighters are notorious for trivializing their victim’s reality. They may accuse you of “making a mountain out of a molehill.” But call it out by name.

You can always come back with, “Oh, no, no, no! Don’t even try to trivialize it because you’d respond the same way if it were done to you.”

If they keep on, just tell them, “I don’t want to hear another word from you.” Then walk away. You must let this person know that you’re not one they can pull this trick on.

7. Blame-shifting

Ahhh, shifting blame! A classic gaslighting move! Don’t allow them to blame you for their ugly behavior.

Simply tell the person that you aren’t responsible for their actions or their words and that they can never make you accountable for it.

This bears repeating, call it by name. Tell this idiot that blame-shifting won’t work with you and that you’re onto them.

And do it calmly. I guarantee they’ll only go find an easier target because gaslighters hate being challenged.

8. Discrediting

Bullies discredit you by spreading nasty rumors and lies. Your best recourse is to allow them to do it while proving them wrong through your calm demeanor and good behavior.

Remember that the one who talks the loudest is the least credible.

Anyone who points a finger at you has three pointed back at them. Also, when someone tries to defame you, they often repeat the same hogwash over and over again.

Therefore, let them talk themselves into trouble. Then, watch their surprise when people get sick of hearing their BS and get bored with them.

The trick here is to force this person to out themselves without realizing they’re doing it.

In other words, don’t try to defend yourself against the rumors and don’t try explaining yourself. You owe no one any explanations here. Just let them talk.

9. Subtle insults Are Classic Gaslighting Examples

Bullies love to throw zingers at you because they’re too cowardly to bluntly come out and say it directly. And they make sure other people are around to hear it.

They employ these subtle insults in hopes that it will confuse you and fly right over your head while, at the same time, making you look like a clueless dolt to others.

Therefore, you must notice this behavior immediately and call it out. For example, if the bully is pulling this crap because you call them out on something earlier, you can always say this:

“Wow! You’re so angry, aren’t you. You’re mad because I called you out for being a jerk last week. Don’t lie. I know that’s why you’re trying to sling insults.

And do it in front of an audience.

Chances are good that you’ll embarrass the person so bad that they might leave you alone and go find an easier target to toy with.

10. Rewriting history

Gaslighting bullies rewrite history to feel better about themselves when you call them out on something they’ve done in the past. Moreover, they put their own spin on reality to make themselves look better to other people.

They may do this by saying that the reason for their bad behavior is because they were reacting to something that you did to them in the past.

Again, don’t buy this line of garbage. But you don’t have to explain anything either.

Just respond by telling the bully that they’re full of it and walk away. Believe me. Other people will wise up to them sooner or later.

11. Love-bombing

This tactic is a biggie! Gaslighting bullies will, all of a sudden, out of the blue, start acting really nice to you. However, when they do this, now’s the time to watch out.

Why? Because these bullies are nice to you to trick you into letting down your defenses. Moreover, they want to break your defenses so that they can either get something from you or set you up for something bad.

Therefore, it’s imperative that you keep your guard up when these people pour on the niceties. Don’t trust them. Instead, avoid them like the plague.

You don’t need to explain why. Just ignore and avoid them.

They’ll get the hint eventually and back off. Or, they’ll show you their true colors when they get frustrated that you aren’t giving into them.

Either way, you win because they either go away or they expose themselves.

This post was all about gaslighting examples to help you better spot gaslighting tactics and protect yourself against them.