It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters are good for.
When bullying progresses to a point when you feel like you have to wear a body camera to work or school to get evidence of what bullies are putting you through, that’s when you know without a doubt, you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.
And sometimes, things may get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera to work or school. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered. Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend knows you’re wearing it. That way, you risk less of a chance of retaliation, or your evidence being tampered with or destroyed.
But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, and your bullies realize they’ve been busted, they will then continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, paranoid, or crazy.
But to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, here are a few common things gaslighters tell their targets:
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “You’re make something out of nothing.”
- “I never said that.”
- “I don’t remember saying that.”
- “I’m not angry. If I was angry, you’d know it.”
- “It’s all your fault.”
- “You bring it all on yourself.”
- “Well, if you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have done that.”
- “You made me do it.”
- “You’re crazy.”
- “You’re mentally unstable.”
- “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”
- “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
- “This is why nobody likes you.”
- “You’re being petty.”
- “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
- “You can’t take a joke!”
- “You’re insecure.”
- “You’re jealous.”
- “It’s all in your mind.”
- “It’s all a figment of your imagination.”
- “If you love me, you’ll do this.”
And the list goes on and on.
Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself against these psychos, and doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it. It also requires that you maintain your sense of self and if you did not do anything to provoke these bullies, stand strong and never let them twist the facts and accuse you otherwise.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Phrases Gaslighters Use to Make You Question Your Reality”
I know first hand that these are real life issues … what can we do?
Your first step is to know yourself. When you know that you’re not a bad person, that none of the abuse is your fault, and that you aren’t responsible for the other person’s vile behavior, you will better be able to counter their attacks and to stop having any more to do with the abuser. You will be able to walk away from them without guilt nor apology.
Gaslighters = narcissists
Is wearing a hidden body camera legal? I know and have written about cases where victims have recorded instances of bullying and then faced criminal charges.
It is in some areas. I explain in another post that if you live in an area where, by law, you only need one-party-consent, then it’s legal. But if you live in an area that, by law, requires a two-party consent, then it’s illegal. The best thing to do if you aren’t sure is to look up the laws in your state, province, or district.
Thank you, Cherie: this is one of the reasons that I come back to learning local laws as part of Adulting, in so many of my posts!
You’re so welcome, Shira. And I’ll definitely check out your blog! <3
Thank you again, Cherie !
Safe Air Hugs, if wanted,
Air hugs right back, sweetie! <3
💜 I AM Immune to “Gaslighting” because I Have too much Respect for MySelf to Let Others Get To Me; in fact I Reflect “Gaslighting” back and laugh at The “Bullies” Whimpering about what They Have Brought on THEMSELVES!!!
Awesome. I do that too nowadays. When you get my age, you just give a crap what bullies think of you and you’re no longer afraid to give it back to them! 😀
Thank you, Cherie, for reminding us of this: it is hard to remember, in the moment, when a bully is gaslighting you that it is not in your head, and that it is not ok, either.
Thank you for helping us remember and learn how to stay safe,
It’s my pleasure, honey. Take the target out of the equation and the abuser has nothing!
Ok, working on that!
You’ll get there. I guarantee it! <3
Ok, I shall take your word for it, Ma’am.
Thank you, dear! <3
Most welcome, you are!
Sending you more Safe Air Hugs!
me also, I fotget when caught off guard they are only seeking supply.
can add three more to that list maybe? “you’re paranoid” “there’s trouble” (heard that one for 17 yrs from the main bully) and “I feel uncomfortable” (represented a threat of a reprimand after she was told if one more reprimand would be forced out” no question both were narcissists, one had psychopathic traits, the other likely, add her having a drug/ alcholol addiction problem amongst many more anomalies with abuse of power such as liking to hold things over her staff.. One nurse I heard was drove to suicide. due to her threats? or holding things over him? that was a rumor from the suicide hotline makes it more than a rumor right?
Omgoodness, this is terrible, Scott! My heart hurts for you and the rest of the targets you mentioned here. And the suicide hot line was wrong for putting that poor person’s business out there like that! Isn’t that illegal for them to do that?
Sad to say, I have received several of these expressions over my lifetime 🙁 but there was no name for it then….Great post Cherie!
Thank you so much, Karima. I’m so glad it helped you. <3
I have seen the movie Gaslight. Unforgettable performance by two of the greatest, Boyer and Bergman. Frankly, I realised only today that “gaslighting” is verb and what it has come to mean. Excellent post.
Thank you so much, Dipankar. 🙂
Thank you. I got mobbed on the bus today all because I am disabled and asked a guy to move so I can sit with him. He triangulated two other bullies against me, all three adults much older than me. Out came the gaslighging: “you’re psycho snd need a doctor”, “you’re crazy and the only one on the bus who does this” and some dude mocking me for saying my feelings are valid. I told him to stop gaslighting, he goes “what’s that?” I said Google it. The medshamer I told to go back and start taking his meds, the guy mocking me I started skatting and challenged him to s skat battle. The woman projecting assaulted me on the bus a couple years ago. The drivet refused to step in and help., making one excuse after another. Centro Bus drivers have a history of ableism. Good news is when I have reported them, conditions improved. I called and reported the incident today. No callback so I am thinking no news is good news. It costs nothing to be nice and bored bus passengers need a hobby to treat their ennui.
I’m sorry this happened to you, Jen. But keep speaking up, Jen. Tell them how totally crazy they are. Laugh at them. Tell them how ridiculous they look. Scoff at them. The trick is to mock them. I hope this helps, sweetie!
Thank you. I will never give up standing up for myself. It is so freaking hard doing most things alone. I manage somehow, don’t know but I do. I did tell the one bully to get a hobby and the woman with the prior assault I made sure to tell her she inspired my character Pris Dixon. I even called her that and I hve never told the main inspirations about the characters they helped spawn 😁
I don’t blame you, honey! Ableism should be outlawed.
Thank you — I second this!