‘Want to know about personal space boundaries and what to do when bullies cross them? Here are all the details you need to know.
Bullies don’t recognize boundaries. Ever! That’s why they are notorious for pushing them. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about personal space boundaries and what to do when bullies cross them.
Once you learn all about this crucial information, you will be able to stand up to bullies the next time they violate your personal space.
This post is all about personal space boundaries and ways to keep bullies out of your bubble.
Personal Space Boundaries
Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. So, I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge you.
If you are a target of bullying, bullies will get in your face or stand too close behind you. They will sometimes stand so close that their bodies are touching yours.
Again, bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you, or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!
Zone Distances
Different zone distances are practiced based on our relationship with the people in the room around us. They are as follows:
Intimate Zone – (6-18 inches)
This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will also move into your intimate zone.
They do this when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack. Anytime someone you don’t know, don’t trust, or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close.
As a result, your mind and body will automatically go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Some bullies may also invade your intimate area to toy with you and get you to react.
They will then step back and laugh at your reaction. Therefore, call them out and let them know that they are in your personal space and that their behavior isn’t acceptable.
Personal Space Boundaries:
Personal Zone – (18-48 inches)
We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close.
Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!
Social Zone – (4-12 feet)
We stand at these distances from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from you.
Therefore, you might not want to react if you don’t want to look unstable. But still, keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!
Public Zone – (Over 12 feet)
We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from you and not look conspicuous or threatening.
(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)
Personal Space Boundaries:
So, what are THE ways Bullies Invade Your Space and What Can you do?
Bullies will invade your space and your territory. But you don’t have to take it. Here are ways they do it and how you can stand up to them.
1. Getting too close to you.
Bullies may loom over you from behind. They may get in your face. Also, they may stand over you while you’re sitting down. Sometimes your bullies will get so close that they physically touch you.
Understand that when bullies pull this crap, they’re trying to either intimidate you, dominate you, challenge you, or provoke a fight. Do what you have to do. Tell this idiot to back the hell up!
Understand that these types of bullies have unlimited audacity, and they do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!
Moreover, never ignore them or allow yourself to be intimidated. These kinds of people will only increase the behavior if you do
But here’s something you need to be aware of. Sometimes, bullies do this to provoke a reaction from you. They may try to trick you into hitting them so they can have a reason to fight you.
How you stand up to them is to call out the behavior and tell them to back the hell up.
2. Personal Space Boundaries:
Accidentally-on-purpose running into you or brushing past you.
One of your bullies may accidentally brush their hand against you because they’re spoiling for a fight. Bullies do these kinds of things sneakily.
Most bullies won’t overtly attack you because they don’t want to look bad in the eyes of bystanders and witnesses. Therefore, they do this to rattle you.
‘You see? If they can get you to attack them, they can make you look like you’re having a mental episode. Then they can gain sympathy and cause others to look down on you.
Again, call out the behavior and tell the creep that if he touches you again, he’ll be sorry. When you deal with this type of person, it’s always best to warn him first. Warning him aloud will signal to others around you that this asshole is provoking you.
Then see what he does. If he touches you again, knock the living hell out of him.
3. Sitting in your chair, leaning on your car, etc.
Any chair we sit in or any object we lean on or touch, we nonverbally lay claim to. A dog will mark its territory by peeing on the spot it claims as its own.
People mark theirs by sitting, leaning, or touching the place or object they claim as theirs. Therefore, bullies will do the same with yours. They’ll claim your territory as theirs.
Therefore, tell the idiot to get out of your chair. If he leans on your vehicle, don’t ask him. Tell him to get off your car. And when you confront these bullies, do so in a firm tone.
4. Personal Space Boundaries:
Leaning in the doorway of your office, dorm room, or house.
Other ways bullies invade your territory are by leaning on your doorway. Therefore, tell them to knock it off and not to darken your doorway again.
5. propping their feet on your desk or table
Bullies have more nerve than an infected tooth. Another way of staking a claim to your property is to prop their feet on your desk or table.
Standing up to this is as simple as telling them to get their feet off your desk. Or you can reach over and move their feet for them.
Whatever it takes, let them know that you won’t tolerate that mess!
6. walking into your home without knocking or being invited inside!
This doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Your home is your castle. Therefore, if anyone walks into your house unannounced or without being invited, you have every right to beat the daylights out of them.
Or, you can call the police and press charges against the creep for burglary. No one should ever walk into your home as if it were their own, and you should never allow it.
So, do what you must do to stand up to them!
7. Personal Space Boundaries:
Invading your privacy.
Bullies will very carefully observe you. They will eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details. Also, they may read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets.
Bullies are notorious for snooping through your belongings. And they do it to search for anything that might damage your reputation.
They will even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with. Or, they may do it to intimidate or dominate you.
This is why setting boundaries is crucial. Because if you have no boundaries, people will walk all over you. And they will invade your space any time they feel like it.
You must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space, territory, and belongings. Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!
8. Touching your property.
Your bullies may pick up your notebook and flip through the pages. Also, they may pick up your phone and begin scrolling. A bully may even rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.
If nothing else, understand this! When a bully puts their paws on your shit, they are laying claim to it. The unspoken message is, “I own your desk, car, notebook, and anything that’s yours.”
Never overlook it! Open your mouth and tell the creep to keep their hands off your stuff.
9. Personal Space Boundaries:
“Accidentally” damaging your property.
Bullies will tear up your stuff. Then, they will claim that it was an accident, knowing good and well they did it on purpose.
Bullies do this to dare you to do something about it. They also do it to provoke a reaction and make you look unstable to outside observers.
Therefore, call them out by loudly telling them what they did. That way, you won’t look so unhinged to any bystanders.
10. Looming your sibling or best friend.
If your bullies can’t get to you, they will try going after and subtly harassing or attacking someone you care about.
Therefore, you must defend your loved one. And if you have to fight to protect them, so be it!
11. Personal Space Boundaries:
Giving you threatening looks from across a crowded room.
Your bullies may glare at you from afar. And why not, because who’s paying attention? The bully knows that, in a crowd, his subtle attacks are least likely to be noticed.
To counter these types of sneak attacks. You must be just as subtle as they are. For instance, you can mirror their behavior.
You do this by returning a hard, cold stare of your own. This lets the bully know that you’re onto him and that you won’t be easily intimidated.
Most seasoned bullies intimidate you by using nonverbal tactics. Why? Nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected.
12. Stealing your Belongings.
I remember going on a school trip. Later, I found that my bullies had gone through my luggage and stolen fifty dollars, a dress, and jewelry from me while I was out of the hotel room.
Moreover, because there were so many bullies, it was difficult for me to confront the thief. Though I had a pretty good idea who stole my belongings, I couldn’t prove she took them!
Understand that bullies will steal your things if they think they can get away with it. Therefore, if this ever happens to you, you must confront everyone.
You can say, “I may not know which one of you took it, but I know that one of you took it.” By saying this, at least you are confronting the behavior. You’re letting them know that you won’t take it quietly.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
In Closing
Understand that when bullies claim ownership of your space, territory, or property, it only means that they believe they own you!
Therefore, you must let them know that you won’t tolerate having your boundaries violated. It may or may not change their behavior. But you can preserve your confidence just by letting them know that you’re onto them and you won’t take it lying down.
This post was all about personal space boundaries and the importance of bravely confronting anyone who violates them so that you can preserve your confidence and protect your self-esteem.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore
2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples
3. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical