things bullies hate most

Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

‘Want to know about all the things bullies hate? Here are the most common things they despise.

things bullies hate

There are things bullies hate, and if you know what they are, you can use them to gain an advantage.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the most common things bullies hate so that you can weaponize them to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to protect yourself the next time they come for you.

This post is all about the things bullies hate most, so that you can gain the advantage you need to ensure your safety.

Things Bullies Hate

Bullies have images to keep up. Therefore, they hate anything that pokes holes in their image. And they hate anyone who sees behind the facades. So, what are the things that might threaten their images of perfection?

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only react to it as if it is a personal attack. Constructive criticism is designed to help you, not harm you. However, bullies don’t see it that way.

Constructive criticism makes you better. In contrast, destructive criticism tears you down. Let’s give an example of constructive and destructive criticism.

Constructive:

“What you did was foolish.”

Destructive:

“You’re foolish.”

Constructive criticism attacks the deed. Destructive criticism attacks the person. However, bullies can’t tell the difference because they’re too wrapped up in themselves to notice.

Remember that bullies are highly egocentric. They must always be right about everything. Or, more appropriately, look as if they’re right about everything. Bullies have a knack for hiding beneath a veneer of total perfection.

They do this for several reasons.

  1. It makes them look better than they really are.
  2. The veneer of perfection can be used as protection from accountability and shield them from reproach.
  3. It can be used to draw others to them and fool them.
  4. It can be used as a weapon against their targets.
  5. It gives them status and social capital.
  6. It gives them the attention and admiration they seek.

Things Bullies Hate:

Bullies hate getting it, but they love giving it.

Bullies love criticizing you because it makes them look like they’re smarter than you. They will use the veil of constructive criticism to disparage others they deem inferior and unworthy.

They may tell you that they’re only giving you this criticism to help you. However, they’re doing it to show you and everyone else that they’re superior to you. A bully’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

If a bully ever unfairly criticizes you, you must stand up to them. Tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own affairs and go on about their business.

And if they keep it up, hit them with their own book of standards. You can always say something like:

“That sounds real good coming from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Now, get out of here and go on about your business.”

This is one comeback you can use. It’s straightforward and, even better, it’s blunt. It’s nothing fancy. You don’t have to get cute or witty with it. Just say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it in as few words as possible.

2. Rules

Bullies hate following rules. Remember that bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Moreover, they crave power. And the more power they have, the more they want.

Therefore, they feel that rules don’t apply to them. In their minds, rules are for everyone else.

3. Things Bullies Hate:

Being Stood up to

Bullies despise it when you stand up to them. Why? Because you are challenging their perceived authority. Therefore, they will fight you tooth and nail to reinforce their power over you.

Realize that when you stand up to a bully, things usually get worse before they get better. This is because bullies aren’t used to you defending yourself. In fact, they aren’t used to anyone standing up to them.

This is because others usually kiss their ass and give them free reign.

Therefore, bullies grow quite comfortable with having carte blanche to ride roughshod over you any time they feel like it. And they don’t want those advantages to stop.

Therefore, they’ll fight even harder to keep getting those benefits, even if they do come at your expense.

You must get this through your head right now. Bullies do not care about how they’ve hurt you. They don’t care about how much you’ve suffered from their abuse. The only thing they care about is power and whether they can keep getting what they want from you.

So, they will increase the abuse, not only to punish you, but also to wear you down. Why? Because if they can make you too tired to keep fighting, then they keep the upper hand.

Therefore, they will fight harder to keep you down at first. What you must do is stay strong, no matter how exhausted you may become. And you must also fight harder. This means you have to fight harder than they do.

It’s the only way you will ever get them to leave you alone.

4. Things Bullies Hate:

You proving them wrong

When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect. This puts a dent in their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshining them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you back down where they think you should be.

6. Things Bullies Hate:

Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

Understand that bullies see any successes or accomplishments you achieve as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is drawn from a sense of one-upmanship and winning over.

Therefore, if you make a huge accomplishment or win any award or prize, bullies will see it as competition with them. As a result, they will escalate the bullying to punish you for that success.

Bullies will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

7. Taking Orders

Remember that bullies are primarily concerned with exerting power. Therefore, they despise taking orders. Why? Because to take orders means that they must be in a position of inferiority.

Bullies have an attitude of superiority. They don’t follow orders; they give them.

8. Things Bullies Hate:

Someone treating them the way they treat their victims

Bullies are notorious for expecting you to be okay with treatment that they would never be OK with. In their minds, it’s OK for them to treat others with disrespect.

However, when you kick the shit back their way, they become outraged. This is because bullies think that they’re exempt from having to suffer negative treatment.

Bullies think that they’re entitled to respect and admiration. And they become quite angry if you don’t give it to them. Moreover, they may even retaliate vengefully if they feel you aren’t giving them the recognition they think they deserve.

Therefore, see them for who they are… a bunch of smug, self-important turds who think the world should bow before them. Instead of kissing up to them, give them the treatment they give you. Regard them with indifference and dismissal.

9. Being ignored.

I’ve met many bullies who despised being ignored, even if they were acting like total jackasses. Realize that bullies crave attention, and they will do anything to get it.

They want to be the center of attention. “All eyes on me! Look at me! I’m special!”

Therefore, the best thing to do with them is to give them the attention they don’t want. And that is to stand up to them and tell them to get a life. Also, you can give them a dismissive look and walk away.

Things Bullies Hate:

In Closing

Bullies hate anything that doesn’t focus on them. Therefore, the worst you can do to them is dismiss them and keep going about your business. Sometimes, you must give bullies a dose of their own medicine to keep your self-esteem intact.

If you know what your bullies hate most, you can leverage it.

This post was all about the things bullies hate so that you can use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous 

2. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise 

bullying and double standards at work

Bullying and Double Standards: 3 Things Bullies and Others Get Away with that Targets Don’t

‘Want to know about bullying and double-standards bullies and others hold you to? Here are 7 things bullies get away with that others don’t.

bullying and double standards

Unfortunately, people holding you to double standards is a huge part of being a target of bullying. However, knowledge is power and it can be a tool you can use to overcome it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and double standards so that you can call it out and use it to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about these game-changing information, you will be able to call it all out for what it is and use it to fight back.

This post is all about bullying and double standards so that you’ll have the knowledge to arm yourself with.

Bullying and Double Standards

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! Moreover, another unfortunate reality of bullying is that they almost always hold you to their double standards.

The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn you for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. Ever heard the term, “selective outrage?”

Selective outrage is when people get angry at you for things they’d never get angry at others for. In other words, bullies select who to inflict their outrage on and who they should grant a free pass.

Here’s another thing bullies do. They demonize you for things that are harmless or innocent.

Merit goes out the window

Here’s another thing to be aware of. Bullies and their followers personalize ideas and creations, which are independent things that should stand on their own merit.

In other words, bullies and others will undermine or dismiss any idea or creation if they find out that it originated from you. On the other hand, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than you, people will accept them. In fact, they may even praise them.

In short, it’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

Sadly, the reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

Bullying and Double Standards:

So, why Do people Set double standards?

1. To Assign different roles to different people in different positions in the social hierarchy.

In other words, they put them in place to assign good roles and more freedom to the people society approves of. On the other hand, people also set them to assign lower and more restrictive roles to those they hate or dislike.

No, it isn’t always fair. Therefore, should you continue to wonder why bullies defame and demonize you to others?

They do it to turn others against you, yes. However, they also do it because they know that once everyone is against you, you won’t have the freedom and mobility you once had.

Therefore, a bad reputation, whether you deserve it or not, keeps you down and locked in place. There’s no chance for advancement or mobility unless you leave the environment.

2. Bullying and Double Standards:

To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.

Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only. And that sole reason is to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.

Again, it doesn’t matter whether or not you deserve it. What matters is how people feel about you.

Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. It always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.

Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:

1. Go incognito if possible.

If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it.

If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it. Therefore, they will likely approve of it.

Then, once people approve and recognize the work for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”

I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life. However, this only works in certain situations.

2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you.

Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them.

These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. Therefore, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!

Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.

When there’s a culture of bullying at school or in the company, everything is all about appearances. Therefore, it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.

Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. Again, if someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself.

It’s about who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.

Bullying and Double Standards:

So, What do bullies get away with that others don’t?

1. Romantic relationships, whether it’s an affair or a Genuine Love Relationship.

For example, the student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship. She and her boyfriend aren’t only dating; they have sex every weekend.

If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore.” Moreover, her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants.

It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. Therefore, everyone uses her lack of celibacy as an opportunity to persecute her.

On the other hand, what if she’s one of the bullies? Also, what if she’s not a target of bullying? She doesn’t necessarily have to be one of the popular crowd. All it takes is not to be a target of bullying.

Therefore, she can be just an average Jane who blends in.

As long as she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullies, she’s only a girl in love. She and her boyfriend are only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain. This is just a normal part of being a young couple in love.

Therefore, everyone cuts her some slack. They don’t say anything about it. Or, they congratulate her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.

2. Bullying and Double Standards:

Partying, Drinking and Doing Drugs.

A boy in the school goes out, drinks and does drugs on the weekends.

If he’s a target of bullying, people will label him a worthless drunk or druggie. Moreover, they won’t let him live it down.

However, if he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, people only say that he’s a hell-raiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. Therefore, others dismiss it as his being one of those rowdy kids from high school.

3. Getting Pregnant.

Students and school staff discover that a certain girl at school is pregnant.

If she’s a bullied girl, they’ll only label her a cheap little slut. Moreover, they won’t be surprised she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.”

Moreover, everyone judges her harshly. They take on the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society. And they’ll do it while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers.

Others will make predictions. They’ll predict that they and everyone else will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn with their tax dollars.

But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. Therefore, everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.

They may throw her a baby shower and celebrate the occasion. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Therefore, you must learn school, office, any kind of politics. Double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.

Bullying and Double Standards:

In Conclusion

If you aren’t a target of bully, there’s margin for error.  So, others allow you to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes and you’re allowed to be a human being.

However, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all.

Therefore, in the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.

But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.

  • Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.
  • Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.
  • Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.

Don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest! Live up to your own standards.

Most importantly, know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.

This post is all about bullying and double standards so that you can recognize it, ignore it, and keep living your life the way you choose.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Inside the Mind of a Bully

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

4. Social Contagion Effect: Bullying and Social Contagion